Original subtitles

( upbeat music )

Guys,

I got us the opportunity of a lifetime. We're gonna be rich!

For the last time, your mom's car has a leak.

There's no oil under your house.

No, I signed us up for The Battle of the Dance Crews competition at the mall.

Check it.

Whoa, first prize wins $1,000.

It's not just about the money. I've always loved dancing.

You know, when I was a baby, my mom hung a disco ball over my crib.

( chuckles ) Did it ever fall on your head?

Did what ever fall on my head?

Jerry, that sounds great,

but we're not a dance crew.

I have the skills and I'll teach you the moves.

And if we work hard, we can win this together.

- Now what do you say? - I'm in.

- Okay. Absolutely. - Let's do it.

Okay. Jerry, you got yourself a crew.

Yeah.

Wasabi?

- Wasabi. - Whoo!

( theme music )

♪ Don't you get all tough with me ♪

♪ I'm saying won't you Come kick it with me? ♪

♪ And we can have a ball run up the wall ♪

♪ This is how we do ♪

♪ And no matter how much I chop and punch ♪

♪ It's not as cool As kickin' it with you ♪

♪ Here we go, let's start the party ♪

♪ Chop it up like it's karate ♪

♪ Everybody ♪

♪ Don't you get all tough with me ♪

♪ I'm saying won't you Come kick it with me? ♪

♪ And we can have a ball run up the wall ♪

♪ This is how we do ♪

♪ And no matter how much I chop and punch ♪

♪ It's not as cool As kickin' it with you ♪

( upbeat music )

Is this just me or these falafel balls greasier than usual?

( squelches )

No, that looks about right.

Oh, check it out.

That's Dan Brennan. He's the best dancer at our school.

- Jerry: They call him Smooth. - Ooh, nice.

Because he's got great dance moves?

And his skin's crazy soft.

Yo, we're talking velvet.

Hey, Jerry.

- Jack. - Eh.

I heard you karate clowns signed up for the dance contest.

You know my crew, The Step Brotherz win every year.

Yeah, I know.

Just 'cause you win every year doesn't mean other people shouldn't try.

( scoffs ) Yeah, it kind of does.

See, I suggest you leave the dancing to us

and stay in your little karate club.

You know, we're not just a karate club.

We also offer free counseling to people with bad nicknames.

You should come by and see us,

"Smooth".

You guys are just gonna embarrass yourselves.

You might have some moves.

But can you move...

like Smooth?

( grunts )

( sniffs )

( scoffs )

Yo, I can move like Smooth.

It's just a split.

I can do a split. Check it.

( cloth rips )

- ( chuckles ) - ( Jerry groans )

I think your pants just ripped.

That wasn't my pants.

( groans )

( upbeat music )

Sorry I'm late, Rudy.

Just give me a minute, and then we can get started.

I'm sorry. Who's he?

I don't know his name!

I mean, what... what are you doing with it?

I bought a case of inflatable men to sell to the police.

I thought they could put 'em in squad cars so people wouldn't speed.

That's actually brilliant. What'd they say?

They said if I didn't leave with my man balloon,

they'd lock me up.

In business you need to be creative.

When life gives you lemons, what do you do?

Make lemonade.

No, that's...

- ( nervous chuckle ) - That's ridiculous. Why would you do...

Lemons can be used to make lemonade.

Marge,

what would you say if I told you

that I can take you and your inflatable friend here to the next level?

We're listening.

Okay. Well, what if we dress him up as something other than a cop?

Say, uh...

...A ninja.

Yeah.

If you had a ninja with you, people wouldn't dare mess with you.

Perfect for ladies that have to take the bus home late at night.

Yeah. And we can put an inflation device in him

so, he only blows up when you need him.

That way he could stay small and people could place him in their pocket.

Ooh! You know what we can call it? Ooh! Wait wait...

Pocket Ninja!

No, no, no.

The name's gotta pop, you know, something people will remember.

How about, um...

Tiny-Pants Friend?

Pocket Ninja it is.

( upbeat music )

♪ Kickin' it now with you ♪

( panting )

All right. Now, let's run the whole thing from the top.

Hey, where'd Kim go?

She wanted to change into her dance gear.

Okay, let's do this!

What? This is how dancers dress.

Maybe in the '80s in Poland.

Come on, guys. We've got a lot of work to do.

Are you ready?

- Yeah. - Kim: I wanna see this.

I can't hear you.

Really? 'Cause that was pretty loud.

I think you might have some hearing loss!

All right.

Here we go. Whoo!

( funky music playing )

Ah, Esta gente que esta haciendo?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Cut! Stop!

Okay, I taught you this.

You guys are doing this!

Come on, guys.

Don't you have any dancing experience at all?

Well, uh...

I have my own victory dance I do every time I win a match.

Ready?

If that's your victory dance, I'm gonna start rooting against you.

It's been a while since I've danced onstage,

But I think I'm just as good now as I was then.

( country music playing )

Milton, tell me there's a dancer hiding in there somewhere.

Oh, believe you me, I have busted many a move.

( Celtic music playing )

- ( whooshes ) - ( thuds )

Eddie, please give me some good news here.

Well, I did go to Mrs. King's Dance Academy.

( Mambo playing )

Eddie, I don't know how to tell you this,

but you are never going to be a good dancer.

Oh, that's okay.

I don't come here for the dancing.

Okay, this isn't working.

Come on, guys, this is important to me.

You gotta start trying.

- Whoa, we're trying. - Yeah.

Maybe we should just take a break.

- ( groans ) - Fine.

But before you go, think about this.

When you dance, you...

you gotta totally feel it.

When I dance, I'm not thinking about anything.

My head is absolutely empty.

Right, like right before an algebra test.

Hey, you guys better be ready to work when you get back.

Is dancing so hard?

( dance music playing )

What's up, Jerry?

Smooth.

What are you doing here?

That was a pretty crazy move I saw you do.

I've been working on it for a long time.

I call it "The Jerry."

How'd you come up with that?

Well, I'm Jerry and I added the "the."

( upbeat music)

Ladies, thanks for coming today.

And a special shoutout to Marge

for letting us use the cafeteria after hours.

( applauding )

Thank you, Rudy.

A little heads-up. If you see a cockroach in here, don't mess with it.

We're in their house.

Now.

We are offering a security system with a level of protection

that you have never experienced before.

I give you...

( inflates )

"The Pocket Ninja."

You can't put a price on the security that the Pocket Ninja will bring you.

- But we did anyway. - And that price is $19.95.

Girls, you're gonna love your Pocket Ninja. He's dependable,

- He's reliable. - Is he a good kisser?

You can put him in your house

so an intruder can see him through the window and get scared off.

You can seat him in the passenger seat of your car.

- When you have... - No one to talk to.

Right?

No.

Yes.

If you wanna talk to him, you can.

If you wanna imagine that he's talking to you, you can.

He's never too busy for you and he will never ever judge you.

Mm-mm..

Oh, I'll take one!

- Wrap him up! - Sold!

Rudy, I think we're gonna sell all 20 of these.

Why sell 20 when you can sell 20 million?

I think you know what I'm talking about.

An infomercial?

Yeah.

Yeah. That's... that's what I was gonna say... an infomercial.

I wasn't for a moment talking about putting 20 million in a shopping cart

and selling them door to door. I mean...

that would be insane.

Take back the shopping cart.

( upbeat music )

Look, you got talent,

but you're wasting it trying to make dancers out of a bunch of karate rats.

Hey, those are my friends!

But go on.

Let me ask you something.

Are you the best karate student in that dojo?

No. Jack is.

Well, I'm gonna give you the chance to be the best at something.

Jerry,

I want you in my crew.

You in?

Yeah.

I guess so.

Wow,

even your hands are smooth.

Dude, what your secret?

I make my own cocoa butter.

Jerry, what are you doing here? We were waiting for you back at the dojo.

A little change of plans...

Jerry's a part of my crew now.

He wants to dance with the best.

What?

Jerry, is that true?

Yeah, it is true.

Jerry: Hey, Smooth's a great dancer.

And he's my only real shot to be a part of a winning crew.

So, you would rather win than be with your friends?

Look, it's not about winning, okay?

This guy also makes his own cocoa butter.

( upbeat music )

- Up. Yeah-ah! Let's do this. - Okay!

- Man, you guys have it all. - Yeah.

Sweet dance studio, air-conditioning,

your own bottled water?

Yo, and this cocoa butter could really knock the ash off my elbows.

Whoa!

Nobody touches my cocoa butter.

So, this is the new guy.

Well, he don't look like much.

Back off, Benny.

Jerry's been showing me this crazy move for the last two hours.

That's gonna win us the contest. Let's show 'em.

( dance music playing )

Whoo!

- That's right. - I've gotta give it to you, man.

That was... was a pretty sweet move.

Yeah, I'm gonna use it to win the contest.

What?

You're not gonna use my move.

It's not your move.

It's called "the Smooth."

See... see what I did was,

I took "the Jerry," took out "jerry"

and replaced it with "Smooth."

I guess I don't need you anymore, Jerry.

See ya.

You just got Smoothed.

Whoo!

Oh, man.

He stole my "whoo" too.

( slurping )

I'm going to have to ask you to stop that. I'm on a date!

Sorry for that terrible interruption.

Well, if it isn't Eggs Benedict.

You mean Benedict Arnold?

No, I don't think I do.

Should you be practicing with your new Smooth dance friends?

They're not my friends.

Smooth just used me to steal my move.

- They stole the Jerry? - Yeah.

And it's not called the Jerry anymore.

Now it's called the Smooth. He just named it after himself.

Ah, zero imagination.

Jerry, you got us so excited about this dance thing.

You said we were gonna do it together and then you bailed on us.

Yeah.

Look,

I'm never gonna be great at karate or...

or a great school person.

- Student. - Whatever.

Dancing is the one thing I'm really good at.

And I just wanted everyone to see that.

But you guys are my friends, and...

I shouldn't have walked out on you.

So, I'm sorry.

Jerry, wait!

( sighs )

If you still wanna be in the contest,

- We'll be your crew. - Really?

- Yes, the kid is back in the game. - ( chuckles )

- You guys are awesome! - Not at dancing.

We still stink.

Yeah, would you excuse me, please? I'm on a date!

( thumps )

♪ Kickin' it with you ♪

I gotta be honest. I'm a little nervous.

Millions of people are gonna see this.

See, that's the difference between you and me, Marge.

I don't get nervous. I'm cool as a cucumber.

Besides, if we mess up, they'll simply stop the cameras, and we'll start over.

- It's not like we're doing it live. - ( bell rings )

We're live in five seconds.

What?

- And four, three, two, and... - No-no, I can't do live. I've never...

( light music playing )

Rudy, we're on. Say something..

- ( thumps ) - Aah!

Hi, to my TV friends.

Aah!

Do... do you

Do you sometimes wish that you had a ninja?

I know I do!

I do!

Well, now you can...

With this amazing new product called the Ninja Pocket.

- Pocket Ninja. - Pocket Ninja!

Well, tell us how this exciting new product works.

Why are you asking me?

I bet it's easy and quick and ready in a flash, huh?

Okay.

- ( thumps ) - ( groans )

Um, simply um...

Pull the ninja out of your pocket...

( giggles )

And pull the activation chord.

It's easy. Watch.

See? It's ready in a flash.

Come on.

Come on!

Get it together! You are embarrassing us.

This piece of junk doesn't work!

( air hissing )

I mean,

ta-da!

( banging )

What is happening?

They must be heating up under the lights!

- ( banging ) - ( screaming )

Whoa.

I'm gonna be a lunch lady forever!

- ( banging ) - ( both screaming )

Mommy!

( thuds )

I guarantee you'll love your Ninja Pocket.

- Pocket Ninja! - Pocket Ninja!

( dance music playing )

( audience cheering )

Wow, how about that?

Come on, people, give it up for the Step Brotherz.

Did you see that last move?

That was crazy!

How do you come up with something like that?

- By stealing it. - All: Yeah!

Now, let's give it up for the last act of the competition...

The Wasabi warriors.

( audience cheering )

Good luck with your little loser friends, Jerry.

I just crushed it.

I better go clean out my pockets to make room for my prize money.

I wouldn't do that just yet, Smooth.

We've got a routine that is pretty swag.

I told you before, those guys aren't dancers.

All they know about is karate.

Exactly.

Dude, we're on!

- ( rock music playing ) - ( yelling )

Oh, hyah!

( yelling )

( upbeat rock music playing )

( audience cheering )

It's time for your new move, man. It's all you.

- Yeah. - Let's go.

( dance music playing )

All: Wasabi!

( audience cheering )

Wow, that was awesome. I have the judges' results.

The winner of the trophy and the $1,000 prize.

Is...

The Step Brotherz!

Whoo!

- I thought you guys were awesome. - Hmm.

I was proud to have you as my crew.

This year, the judges are also awarding a trophy for best individual dancer.

And the winner is...

Jerry Martinez!

What? Jerry?

He's not that great.

I can do what he did.

Watch this.

Whoa!

( crashes )

Not very smooth, Smooth. Whoo!

Yeah, that's right. I'm taking my "whoo" back.

Uh, yeah, I'd like to thank my mom, my dad,

Rudy, my crew... Couldn't have done it without you guys.

Oh, and uh one last thing I'd like to say is,

five, six, seven, eight, and...

( dance music playing )

♪ Kickin' it with you ♪

It's a good thing the company agreed to take these back.

Joan: Oh...

Joan, what's wrong?

He left me!

My little ninja is gone.

What do you mean by gone?

He sprung a leak and he flew out the window.

Now, he's just hanging on my neighbor's satellite dish.

( sobs )

Why does it always end this way? Why?

Girl, it's not your fault.

I wish I had a dollar for every man I lost out a window.

Hey, Joan,

have you met my friend Donald?

( air hissing )

Why, no, I haven't had the pleasure.

So sudden.

Why don't me, you and Donald go get a frozen yogurt?

Oh! So, Donald, tell me everything about yourself.

- ( pops ) - ( gasps )

Girl, he's no good anyway. Come on!

My gosh!

( closing theme music )