Original subtitles

- Hey, so when's your mom coming to town?

- Ah, this afternoon. That's right.

Big Bobbi Williams is coming for a visit.

Mm! Just in time too.

I am in dire need of some of her signature TLC--

Ticklin', Lovin', Chicken.

- Ooh, well, sign me up for some of your mom's

famous sloppy chicken.

But can we circle back to the first two, right quick?

- Oh, look, I am not ashamed to admit

that I need a little attention sometimes myself, all right?

And my mom, she's like the only person in my life

that I don't have to take care of.

We can just sit and visit and play Boggle,

maybe drink soda right out of the two liter

and talk about my problems for once.

Yeah, she's really gotten me through this year.

That woman is like sloppy chicken for the soul.

- True, I mean, she has a way

of always telling you what you need to hear.

She's the reason why I don't wear high-waisted jeans.

- Yeah. - Or low-rise jeans.

- Okay. - Yeah, it's just

middle jeans for Mika from now on.

[laugh] Well, you better bust out

your maternity jeans tonight, because if I know you,

Mika gon' chicken.

- Uh, you're not wrong, I'm going chicken.

- Now come on, we got Ed's retirement party.

- Ugh. Can't stand that guy.

We're gonna miss you, Ed.

What will we do without our beloved cameraman Ed,

who's leaving us at the end of the month

after 50 years of working with the station.

- Happy retirement, Ed.

I'm heartbroken you're leaving,

I consider you a real father figure.

- I'm Phil, I work with you every day.

Plus we're the same age.

- How dare you?

- Uh-uh, come on up, Ed. Cake time.

I got you there, buddy. - Hey--

[smacks hand] - Ow!

[laughter]

Spicy to your last breath, huh Ed?

- I'm retiring, not dying.

- 'Cause legends never die, bud.

- That's right, he's so old,

he was the first Black person they allowed in this building,

couldn't touch nothing.

- But, you really are part of the greatest generation.

Our mom is coming to town this weekend,

I just love to sit around and hear her stories.

- Is she single?

- Wh--what?

No, man. She's old, like you.

- Older people still get down, Kenan.

Did you know our age group got the most STDs?

- Why would you be proud of that?

- You know goats can get STDs too?

Also, apparently, they're polyamorous.

I mean, we could learn a lot

from the goat community, am I right?

- Yeah, I don't think that's right.

- Sounds right.

- You ever been to a foam party at a nursing home?

Ooh!

- I've been to a floam party in my kid's playroom.

- Why are we talking about this?

- No, that's not my mom's speed,

all right, Ed?

She likes to watch CBS

and play bridge

and put flowers on my daddy's grave.

- So she is single?

- Ed, I swear, man, what'd you--

- [laughing] Hey, look,

I play bridge too. - Good.

- Bridge is where two guys face each other,

and the woman lies down between them, then--

- Okay, I think I've heard enough,

[stammers in anger]

Yeah, happy retirement, Ed!

[grunts] I'll see you again--

never--thank you, bye.

I didn't even want to do this party.

[funky upbeat music]

♪

- Daddy, do we have to do this?

- Come on, aren't you excited to see your nana?

- We love her. She's just a little boring.

She never wants to do anything except sit and visit.

I'm eight, I need action!

- Now, everyone's got their role.

Gary's the loose cannon, Kenan is the diva,

Aubrey's the best shot we got at generational wealth.

And, you, Birdie, are the one

that's kicked out of the American Girl doll store.

And Big Bobbi's like a sweet, reliable hug,

and I'm cool Papa Rick.

- Surprisingly accurate, but look,

it's very important to me that your nana

feel very welcome, all right?

And I get my special Ke-Nana time.

So mush, mush!

- [exaggerated sigh]

- Come on, Bro, you cannot still be jealous

of my relationship with Mom. We are adults.

- Me? Jealous? Of that? No.

Men who can pull off full beards

with a naked upper lip,

that I'm jealous of.

It's just, man,

Mom went crazy at everything you did as a kid, man,

no matter what it was.

- That is not true.

- She made an AND1 Mixtape of you going potty,

and meanwhile, there's no picture of me anywhere, man.

Classic case of middle child syndrome.

- Middle child?

- Yeah, Mom had a dog

that was the real baby of the family.

- Come on, Gary,

Mama was just busier when you were a kid

because Dad died. She loves us both the same.

She just shows it differently.

- Oh, yeah? Like not at all?

The only way I can get any attention

is by faking being ill or injured.

- You mean, you never had Sticky Liver Disease?

Or Loose Bone Syndrome?

You know, when you say 'em out loud...

[doorbell rings]

Do not ruin this for me!

[upbeat music]

Perfect.

My sweet, reliable hug is here.

Mommy--Mommy? What in the--

- Nana! - Holy smokes, Bobbi.

- I'm here.

- Where is the rest of you?

- Oh, look at my babies.

Ooh, you got so big.

Aww. Oh.

Hey, sweetie. - Hey, Mama.

- Hey, baby.

- Hey, Mama.

- Man, Mama, your hugs-- all hard,

and you got biceps, and triceps--

ceps on ceps on ceps, huh?

- You look ten years younger, and I should know 'cause--

I look 20 years younger.

- I mean, your hair's all done,

and your pants have gone from sweat to suit.

Did The Gap Band get back together or something?

- No, but I do have a Google Alert set,

just in case they do. [laughter]

- But, I mean, Nana, you went from Mrs. Doubtfire

to Mrs. Straight-fire.

both: "Drag Race"! - [laughing]

- We watch "Drag Race" together.

- All right, Rick.

Girls, Nana got a little something from my travels.

Now, careful with that snake wine.

That's only for your enemies.

- Thanks, Nana. - You're the best.

[both laugh]

- Snake wine? - Mm-hmm.

- That sounds dangerous.

- Well, Mama, I gotta say,

this is a lot to take in.

Are we still gonna be able to do the stuff

that we used to do?

'Cause you know I need some

"Iyanla My Mama Fix My Life" time.

- Your mommy is still in here.

My image just got a bit of a facelift

and so did my face and my buttocks.

[both laugh] - And you fine, okay?

Come on, let's go lift some whiskey glasses,

how about that?

- [muttering mockingly] Okay.

- Kenan, new Bobbi looks incredible.

She looks so happy.

- Yeah, I think she's going through

a life crisis or something.

I'll talk to her, right after I get my slop on.

- Yes. - Okay,

who's ready for Big Bobbi's famous sloppy

salad! Hey!

- What is that?

- Okay, I guess the chicken

is up underneath a layer of this dumb lettuce?

- I'm eating healthy now, honey.

This year's been really transformative for me,

and I've realized that age is just a number.

But your cholesterol isn't.

- Oh, that is so-- - Excuse me, sweetie,

still my turn. You gotta live every minute.

Like, the other day, I walked into this thing called

LeatherCon, thinking I was going to,

you know, find a purse or something.

But, instead, I found four new friends named Chaz.

Ooh, baby, them gay boys can dance.

- [laughs] - Straight men can dance too.

It's usually just from the neck up, like--

- No. - Looks like a woodpecker.

- Mama, that was real?

I mean, I thought you said when you were going to LeatherCon,

that it was like code for bunion surgery or something.

- I'm seizing the day, too, Mama.

Like I'm going to see Lil Jon do his DJ set.

I just know if we meet then I'll sign him

as my management client, and then he'll hear my demo,

and he'll sign me.

- So you want to both sign and be signed by Lil Jon?

- Exactly. - Baby,

that sounds like a lot of fun. I'm in.

- Mama, I thought we were gonna visit?

- Wait, wait, hold up,

you'd rather go out with me than stay home with Kenan?

[laughs triumphantly]

Your first round on me, Mama-- and your second round too

'cause it's buy one, get one free.

Please bring your card.

- Come on, Kenan, let's go and have some fun.

Mika's in, right?

- Oh, I have plans between the sheets--

my spreadsheets and my bedsheets

'cause Wednesdays, I do the books in bed--

and I will get my coat.

- That a girl.

Girl, we gon' turn it!

- It's turn up, Mama.

And I would love to go,

but I gotta stay here and watch my girls.

But if you would rather go to some loud club

than stay home and play Boggle

and drinking cream soda with your loving son,

be my guest.

- [under breath] Mm-mm.

- Alone,

lonely,

low.

- Oh, Kenan, thank you for understanding, baby.

Oh, I gotta go get my face on.

- Can we help? - Oh, yeah,

just get Nana's airbrush. Come on, girls.

- Oh, okay! - Ah...

Mama going out with me, Boggle boy.

Lonely,

alone,

how that feel?

- Ah, don't worry about that, Kenan.

I'll stay home with you. - Thank you.

- And clubs are too loud anyway.

- That's right.

- And the young people always make fun of me,

for some weird reason--

no, that does not sound like cool Papa Rick.

I'll see ya.

Bobbi, wait for me.

- Rick.

Please come back.

Anybody--

Just dry lettuce?

[chatter, laughter]

- Oh, my God, that was so much fun.

[laughter] - Okay?

Did you see me do a split on the dance floor?

- I saw you slip on a cocktail napkin

and nearly split that jumpsuit.

- Yeah, you did. I didn't think you were gonna get back up.

- [laughs mockingly] Oh, that's nice.

Y'all have a good time out?

I--I'd love to hear more about it,

but unfortunately I gotta be at work in ten minutes.

- [scoffs] - Mom,

I thought you was coming with me,

see your little "Boss Baby" in action.

- Oh, of course, I'm coming Keeny.

This is not my first all-nighter.

Do you know that every historical walking tour

in Boston ends with ten hours of drinking?

Ooh.

- And what about you, Mika? - Huh?

- How you gonna work after being up all night?

You usually go to bed at sad and lonely o'clock.

- Don't worry, I'm fine.

- Hey, there you are, Rick.

Where did you disappear to?

- I came home,

not that anybody noticed or cared.

That club sucked.

It was too loud, too boring,

and I know I say I like rap music,

but that's a lie.

I only like Steely Dan. Nothing else.

- Damn, Rick.

You are so uptight, even for a old white dude.

When did that happen?

- I don't know, but it's disconcerting as hell.

Good night. - [laughs]

You should have seen him at the club, he was struggling.

[laughter] - Yeah, yeah,

he was struggling, right? [forced laughs]

I gotta go.

[downtempo music]

- Great show, Kenan. - Yeah, whatever.

Have you seen my mom? - Mm-mm.

- Hey, y'all seen my mom?

She's like an older but maybe now

younger female version of me?

- No. - Oh.

Hey, you seen my--

[laughter]

Mom?

- Oh, my God, you guys are so funny.

- Mom, there you are.

- Hey, baby.

I'm just chatting it up with your amazing coworkers.

Did you know that Phil here

has been digging the same hole since childhood?

- I did not.

But can I talk to you?

- Oh, sure, okay.

Gotta go, y'all. Oh, Esme,

good luck with that surgery, girl.

Don't go too big with those calves.

- I won't.

- See you in a few. - Okay, Ed.

- Thanks, Bobbi. Have fun tonight.

- Thanks. [laughs]

- Um, "in a few"? "Tonight"?

Did you make plans? - Oh, yeah.

Tonight I'm going to "Cirque du Soleil:

Tribute to Weird Al,"

with that hot piece that I met at the club last night.

- Ew, no. No hot pieces.

Maybe regular or lukewarm pieces at best.

Or, crazy idea, no pieces.

- And in a few, I'm going to the crew basketball game.

Ed said that he'd dunk for mommy.

- Well, you know what,

I--I play in that basketball game, as well.

- You do? - Yeah.

That's right, and I'll do you one better.

I will dribble and say your name every time.

Mama, mama, mama-mama-mama-mama.

Just like that, and then we can go home

and break out a puzzle.

You can tell me everything's gon' be all right

or wherever the night takes us.

- Okay, sweetie, then

let's go. - All right,

I'ma change real quick. - All right.

- Ah, Pam. Uh...

where is the crew basketball game

and can you hook me up with some shorts?

- Sure, but mine all have

"Juicy" written on the ass.

- Ah--no, I'll figure out something else.

- All right, but you do have a juicy booty.

That--that was a...

compliment, that was not harassment, Nancy!

She's always reporting me.

[upbeat music]

- Mama, watch this, watch this shot.

Like that.

Oh, oh!

- Uh-huh, that's a nice pass, baby.

- But it was a shot, Mama.

This is all the dribbling that you taught me.

Remember? - That's good, baby.

- Ain't it good? - Uh-huh.

- All right, watch this. This gonna be the layup.

- [grunts] - Ah!

- Bye, bye. - What's up, Ed?

That's what we doing?

We're playing prison rules, huh?

- [laughs] - Oh, baby, you okay?

- [strained] Yeah, I'm all right, Mama.

Thank you. I barely felt it.

- Oh, good, because I was about to drop everything

to take care of my baby.

- You were? - Yeah!

- [winces] Ow, ow--my pain!

There's s-so much pain.

[groaning] I feel it now--ah, yeah.

It's my "mis-dis-cus." Ooh.

- Don't you-- - I think it's blown.

- Don't worry, my precious perfect--

[kiss] mommy's got you. Aw, sweet pea.

- Okay, that feel good? - Yes.

- You like your fuzzy socks?

- Mm-hmm, very nice.

You know, I was thinking,

there is that saying,

"feed a fever, starve a cold,

feed a knee--thing?"

I'm just saying, maybe some of your sloppy chicken

might take my mind off the pain?

Ever so briefly? - That's a good idea.

You know, I'll get it started

then we can catch up while it sloppifies.

Oh, sweetie, it'll be just like old times.

Now, look,

don't work too hard. He needs his rest.

- Yes, ma'am.

- You are wasting your side-eye

because I am not ashamed at all.

I knew she still had that mama bear in her.

I just had to pull it out.

- Well, mama bear seems like

she's trying change her life for the better.

Why can't you just support her?

- Because she's supposed to be supporting me.

Taking care of me, solving my problems, not hers.

Okay? Can you just please count me down?

- Fine, but did we really have to do the show from home

because you have an "injury"?

- My "injury" is real.

I mean, sure it's my heart and not my knee,

but I'm hurting.

And besides, this gives the people

a little peek into my world,

a "behind the Keens," if you will.

- I will not.

We're live in five.

Four, three, sad ass mama's boy...

- ♪ Wake up, wake up, wake up ♪

- It's "Wake Up With Kenan,"

and I am broadcasting live from my boudoir.

I used to call it my booty-doir,

but I took that sign down years ago.

[toilet flushing]

- Are we rolling?

[upbeat music]

- It's a bonfire for your fears.

It's a little ritual I picked up

at the Reiki retreat

in Tucson. - Ooh.

- You write down a fear,

throw it in the fire,

and you watch the ashes float away.

- [excited laugh]

- Oh, yeah?

- Whoa-oh!

[coughs]

- All right, girls, go clean up,

and don't lick any of those chemicals off your face.

Not even the tasty ones!

- Not even a lick? - Come on.

- Well, you're no fun.

- Excuse me, when did you become so irresponsible?

- And when did you become so responsible?

When we met, you were playing sax

and a horn section called "Me So Horny."

- You're right, since I moved in with the girls,

it sure watered down my whiskey.

I'm not just some aimless pleasure-seeker anymore.

It's kind of embarrassing, really.

Do you know there was a time,

that most of the boats in the Florida Keys

were named after me?

- Change isn't bad, Rick.

Sometimes it's scary, or it comes from a sad place,

but it's exciting!

I mean, I've changed a bit too.

But I've never felt more alive.

- Changed a bit?

Bobbi, you used to sit over at that chair

and read "Goodnight Moon."

And now you got these girls

reenacting "Little Fires Everywhere."

- You had your fun, Rick. I didn't.

You know, good life is a balance

of selfish and selfless.

Maybe we're both just looking to make up for lost time.

But, come on now.

you know that Cori would have loved

this fear-fire thing, right?

- [laughs] She was

into all that kooky, Gwyneth Goopo stuff.

- Yeah, she was.

Well, I better get-a going,

I said I'd bring Kenan some aspirin.

- Oh no, no, no.

You don't get to be the cool one

and the responsible one.

I'll do it.

- Okay, 'cause you know I need to go to the store.

- Take your time, girl.

Go skydiving, catch a shift at Magic City, do you.

- Don't tempt me, Rick. [both laugh]

Here we go.

Responsible Rick with the drugs and the snugs.

- Where's my mom?

She's the one that's supposed to be

bringing me the drugs and snugs.

- You got someone better,

Dr. Feel Good himself.

Can I get you anything? How about a foot rub?

- Ah--no. - It's medical.

- No, no. - Come on.

- Get your weirdly soft hands off of me.

Where is my mom, man?

We were supposed to hang out and talk.

- She went to pick up some stuff for the sloppy chicken.

She'll be right back.

Why don't we talk?

Biggest fear, favorite food, sexiest animal, go.

All right, I'll go.

Shark, shark, shark.

[downtempo music]

- Well, I could make my famous chicken.

It's not particularly sloppy.

It's really just...

chicken breast baked for a couple hours.

Very dry, tough to get down.

- Uh, no.

My mom will be back any second.

- I wouldn't count on that, K-Dog.

She's at Cirque. She just tagged me in a photo.

Who's the favorite now, playa? [haughty chuckle]

- I'm going to bed. - Kenan.

- [screams] Ow! Ah! Why?

- I guess Mama's fuzzy socks betrayed you.

- Are you not entertained?

- I'm entertained. - [groans]

- Man, look at that butt scoot.

- See, you went for a real injury.

You're supposed to fake it.

That's where you messed up at.

- Ow. - Good morning.

- Mommy, mommy, there she is.

How was Weird Al? - Hilarious.

Hey, sweetie.

Oh. - Mama, everybody starving

because we went to bed with empty tummies last night.

- Not true. - I ordered pizza to my room.

- Intermittent fasting for me.

- I always got eggrolls in my pocket.

- Baby, I am so sorry about last night, but--

I went to the store and I got a text from the man I met.

Look, I know skipping out is not like me

but a year ago I realized that

we could be gone at any moment.

So I promised myself that my new motto is

"make hay."

- Well, I guess, making hay

and apparently, rolling around in it

is more important than making time for your family.

And you know hay is for horses, okay?

And a horse is a gift,

and you don't look in the mouth of no--

I should have just left. I had it!

[downtempo music]

- Kenan. - I got this, Bobbi.

[birds chirping]

Kenan,

I know I'm not your number one confidant, but--

- No, you're not.

It used to be my wife, and I guess my mom for a while.

But now it's Gary, and then Mika, then Aubrey,

never Birdie-- she's a little nuts--

some Reddit threads,

Adam Carolla in his "Loveline" days,

my Larry Johnson Grandmama poster,

Loni Love, Steve Harvey first season of "Family Feud,"

Dionne Warwick and the Psychic Friends--

- Okay, so kind of far down on the list there.

Well, fair.

I just think I might know what's going on here.

- Yeah, so do I.

My mom finally showed her true colors,

and they are ugly.

I mean, she's not ugly. She actually looks amazing.

Her behavior is ugly.

- Or maybe she's going through something heavy herself.

I mean, she keeps talking about this past year

being transformative and all this...

"life is short" stuff.

- Wait, you think all that stuff going on with her

has something to do with Cori?

- I do.

It really changed me.

In a very weird way.

- Rick's right, sweetie.

Oh, K-Kay.

I am so sorry.

Cori passed.

I realized I hadn't done much living

since your dad died, and honey, I gotta get it in

'cause I ain't getting no younger.

But you know what?

I am done with that selfishness.

I am ready to take my job back

as being your mommy. [chuckles]

- Oh, Mom, taking care of yourself isn't selfish.

It's self-care.

And nobody deserves it more than you.

I mean, please, do you.

You already did me,

you been doing me my whole life--

well, that sounded wrong.

But, seriously, you did such a wonderful job,

and not just this year,

that I can finally take care of myself with this now.

I mean, it's the only way

I'm ever gonna really get through it anyway.

- Maybe I can help you out in that department, too,

even though I'm fairly far down on the list.

I mean, it--

it is kind of the whole reason I'm here.

- Are you crying?

- My eyes are wet. Is that crying?

- Yeah. What's happening to you?

- I told you, man. It's getting weird.

- Baby, aww.

I love you so much, my precious perfect.

Now you know what? You have waited long enough.

Why don't I make you some of that sloppy chicken?

- Oh, no, Mama.

Thank you, but you've done enough.

- No?

- What? You want some sloppy chicken?

- Well, yeah--

it's all I've been hearing about, sloppy chicken.

- Well, come on, I'm gonna make it this time.

- Oh, boy.

- It's slimy. Ew.

- And crunchy?

- Where is the chicken?

- My tastebuds feel...

well, I want to say betrayed.

- Might have done something wrong.

- No, baby, you could never do anything wrong,

neither of my babies can.

- You mean me or the dog? - You, sweetie.

- [laughs]

- It's all sloppy and no chicken.

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