All language subtitles for Kenan s01e07 Kenans Mom.eng

- Hey, so when's your mom
coming to town?

- Ah, this afternoon.
That's right.

Big Bobbi Williams is coming
for a visit.

Mm! Just in time too.

I am in dire need of some
of her signature TLC--

Ticklin', Lovin', Chicken.

- Ooh, well, sign me up
for some of your mom's

famous sloppy chicken.

But can we circle back to
the first two, right quick?

- Oh, look, I am not ashamed
to admit

that I need a little attention
sometimes myself, all right?

And my mom, she's like
the only person in my life

that I don't have to
take care of.

We can just sit and visit
and play Boggle,

maybe drink soda right out
of the two liter

and talk about my problems
for once.

Yeah, she's really gotten me
through this year.

That woman is like
sloppy chicken for the soul.

- True, I mean, she has a way

of always telling you
what you need to hear.

She's the reason why I don't
wear high-waisted jeans.

- Yeah.
- Or low-rise jeans.

- Okay.
- Yeah, it's just

middle jeans for Mika
from now on.

[laugh]
Well, you better bust out

your maternity jeans tonight,
because if I know you,

Mika gon' chicken.

- Uh, you're not wrong,
I'm going chicken.

- Now come on, we got
Ed's retirement party.

- Ugh. Can't stand that guy.

We're gonna miss you, Ed.

What will we do without
our beloved cameraman Ed,

who's leaving us at the end
of the month

after 50 years of working
with the station.

- Happy retirement, Ed.

I'm heartbroken you're leaving,

I consider you
a real father figure.

- I'm Phil, I work with you
every day.

Plus we're the same age.

- How dare you?

- Uh-uh, come on up, Ed.
Cake time.

I got you there, buddy.
- Hey--

[smacks hand]
- Ow!

[laughter]

Spicy to your last breath,
huh Ed?

- I'm retiring, not dying.

- 'Cause legends never die,
bud.

- That's right, he's so old,

he was the first Black person
they allowed in this building,

couldn't touch nothing.

- But, you really are part
of the greatest generation.

Our mom is coming to town
this weekend,

I just love to sit around
and hear her stories.

- Is she single?

- Wh--what?

No, man.
She's old, like you.

- Older people still get down,
Kenan.

Did you know our age group
got the most STDs?

- Why would you be
proud of that?

- You know goats can get STDs
too?

Also, apparently,
they're polyamorous.

I mean, we could learn a lot

from the goat community,
am I right?

- Yeah, I don't think
that's right.

- Sounds right.

- You ever been to a foam party
at a nursing home?

Ooh!

- I've been to a floam party
in my kid's playroom.

- Why are we talking about
this?

- No, that's not
my mom's speed,

all right, Ed?

She likes to watch CBS

and play bridge

and put flowers
on my daddy's grave.

- So she is single?

- Ed, I swear, man,
what'd you--

- [laughing] Hey, look,

I play bridge too.
- Good.

- Bridge is where two guys
face each other,

and the woman lies down
between them, then--

- Okay, I think
I've heard enough,

[stammers in anger]

Yeah, happy retirement, Ed!

[grunts]
I'll see you again--

never--thank you, bye.

I didn't even want to do
this party.

[funky upbeat music]

♪

- Daddy, do we have to do
this?

- Come on, aren't you excited
to see your nana?

- We love her.
She's just a little boring.

She never wants to do anything
except sit and visit.

I'm eight,
I need action!

- Now, everyone's got
their role.

Gary's the loose cannon,
Kenan is the diva,

Aubrey's the best shot we got
at generational wealth.

And, you, Birdie,
are the one

that's kicked out of the
American Girl doll store.

And Big Bobbi's like
a sweet, reliable hug,

and I'm cool Papa Rick.

- Surprisingly accurate,
but look,

it's very important to me
that your nana

feel very welcome, all right?

And I get
my special Ke-Nana time.

So mush, mush!

- [exaggerated sigh]

- Come on, Bro,
you cannot still be jealous

of my relationship with Mom.
We are adults.

- Me? Jealous? Of that?
No.

Men who can pull off
full beards

with a naked upper lip,

that I'm jealous of.

It's just, man,

Mom went crazy at everything
you did as a kid, man,

no matter what it was.

- That is not true.

- She made an AND1 Mixtape
of you going potty,

and meanwhile, there's no
picture of me anywhere, man.

Classic case of middle child
syndrome.

- Middle child?

- Yeah, Mom had a dog

that was the real baby
of the family.

- Come on, Gary,

Mama was just busier
when you were a kid

because Dad died.
She loves us both the same.

She just shows it
differently.

- Oh, yeah?
Like not at all?

The only way I can get
any attention

is by faking being ill
or injured.

- You mean, you never had
Sticky Liver Disease?

Or Loose Bone Syndrome?

You know, when you say 'em
out loud...

[doorbell rings]

Do not ruin this for me!

[upbeat music]

Perfect.

My sweet, reliable hug
is here.

Mommy--Mommy?
What in the--

- Nana!
- Holy smokes, Bobbi.

- I'm here.

- Where is the rest of you?

- Oh, look at my babies.

Ooh, you got so big.

Aww. Oh.

Hey, sweetie.
- Hey, Mama.

- Hey, baby.

- Hey, Mama.

- Man, Mama, your hugs--
all hard,

and you got biceps,
and triceps--

ceps on ceps on ceps,
huh?

- You look ten years younger,
and I should know 'cause--

I look 20 years younger.

- I mean, your hair's all done,

and your pants have gone
from sweat to suit.

Did The Gap Band get back
together or something?

- No, but I do have
a Google Alert set,

just in case they do.
[laughter]

- But, I mean, Nana, you went
from Mrs. Doubtfire

to Mrs. Straight-fire.

both: "Drag Race"!
- [laughing]

- We watch "Drag Race"
together.

- All right, Rick.

Girls, Nana got a little
something from my travels.

Now, careful with
that snake wine.

That's only for your enemies.

- Thanks, Nana.
- You're the best.

[both laugh]

- Snake wine?
- Mm-hmm.

- That sounds dangerous.

- Well, Mama, I gotta say,

this is a lot to take in.

Are we still gonna be able
to do the stuff

that we used to do?

'Cause you know I need some

"Iyanla My Mama Fix My Life"
time.

- Your mommy is still in here.

My image just got a bit
of a facelift

and so did my face
and my buttocks.

[both laugh]
- And you fine, okay?

Come on, let's go lift
some whiskey glasses,

how about that?

- [muttering mockingly]
Okay.

- Kenan, new Bobbi
looks incredible.

She looks so happy.

- Yeah, I think
she's going through

a life crisis or something.

I'll talk to her,
right after I get my slop on.

- Yes.
- Okay,

who's ready for
Big Bobbi's famous sloppy

salad! Hey!

- What is that?

- Okay, I guess the chicken

is up underneath a layer
of this dumb lettuce?

- I'm eating healthy now,
honey.

This year's been
really transformative for me,

and I've realized that age
is just a number.

But your cholesterol isn't.

- Oh, that is so--
- Excuse me, sweetie,

still my turn.
You gotta live every minute.

Like, the other day, I walked
into this thing called

LeatherCon,
thinking I was going to,

you know, find a purse
or something.

But, instead, I found four
new friends named Chaz.

Ooh, baby, them gay boys
can dance.

- [laughs]
- Straight men can dance too.

It's usually just
from the neck up, like--

- No.
- Looks like a woodpecker.

- Mama, that was real?

I mean, I thought you said when
you were going to LeatherCon,

that it was like code for
bunion surgery or something.

- I'm seizing the day, too,
Mama.

Like I'm going to see Lil Jon
do his DJ set.

I just know if we meet
then I'll sign him

as my management client,
and then he'll hear my demo,

and he'll sign me.

- So you want to both sign
and be signed by Lil Jon?

- Exactly.
- Baby,

that sounds like a lot of fun.
I'm in.

- Mama, I thought
we were gonna visit?

- Wait, wait, hold up,

you'd rather go out with me
than stay home with Kenan?

[laughs triumphantly]

Your first round on me, Mama--
and your second round too

'cause it's buy one,
get one free.

Please bring your card.

- Come on, Kenan, let's go
and have some fun.

Mika's in, right?

- Oh, I have plans
between the sheets--

my spreadsheets
and my bedsheets

'cause Wednesdays,
I do the books in bed--

and I will get my coat.

- That a girl.

Girl, we gon' turn it!

- It's turn up, Mama.

And I would love to go,

but I gotta stay here
and watch my girls.

But if you would rather
go to some loud club

than stay home and play Boggle

and drinking cream soda
with your loving son,

be my guest.

- [under breath]
Mm-mm.

- Alone,

lonely,

low.

- Oh, Kenan, thank you
for understanding, baby.

Oh, I gotta go get my face on.

- Can we help?
- Oh, yeah,

just get Nana's airbrush.
Come on, girls.

- Oh, okay!
- Ah...

Mama going out with me,
Boggle boy.

Lonely,

alone,

how that feel?

- Ah, don't worry about that,
Kenan.

I'll stay home with you.
- Thank you.

- And clubs are too loud
anyway.

- That's right.

- And the young people
always make fun of me,

for some weird reason--

no, that does not sound like
cool Papa Rick.

I'll see ya.

Bobbi, wait for me.

- Rick.

Please come back.

Anybody--

Just dry lettuce?

[chatter, laughter]

- Oh, my God,
that was so much fun.

[laughter]
- Okay?

Did you see me do a split
on the dance floor?

- I saw you slip
on a cocktail napkin

and nearly split that jumpsuit.

- Yeah, you did. I didn't think
you were gonna get back up.

- [laughs mockingly]
Oh, that's nice.

Y'all have a good time out?

I--I'd love to hear more
about it,

but unfortunately I gotta be
at work in ten minutes.

- [scoffs]
- Mom,

I thought you was coming
with me,

see your little "Boss Baby"
in action.

- Oh, of course,
I'm coming Keeny.

This is not
my first all-nighter.

Do you know that
every historical walking tour

in Boston ends
with ten hours of drinking?

Ooh.

- And what about you, Mika?
- Huh?

- How you gonna work
after being up all night?

You usually go to bed
at sad and lonely o'clock.

- Don't worry, I'm fine.

- Hey, there you are,
Rick.

Where did you disappear to?

- I came home,

not that anybody noticed
or cared.

That club sucked.

It was too loud, too boring,

and I know I say
I like rap music,

but that's a lie.

I only like Steely Dan.
Nothing else.

- Damn, Rick.

You are so uptight,
even for a old white dude.

When did that happen?

- I don't know,
but it's disconcerting as hell.

Good night.
- [laughs]

You should have seen him at
the club, he was struggling.

[laughter]
- Yeah, yeah,

he was struggling, right?
[forced laughs]

I gotta go.

[downtempo music]

- Great show, Kenan.
- Yeah, whatever.

Have you seen my mom?
- Mm-mm.

- Hey, y'all seen my mom?

She's like an older
but maybe now

younger female version of me?

- No.
- Oh.

Hey, you seen my--

[laughter]

Mom?

- Oh, my God,
you guys are so funny.

- Mom, there you are.

- Hey, baby.

I'm just chatting it up
with your amazing coworkers.

Did you know that Phil here

has been digging the same hole
since childhood?

- I did not.

But can I talk to you?

- Oh, sure, okay.

Gotta go, y'all.
Oh, Esme,

good luck with that surgery,
girl.

Don't go too big
with those calves.

- I won't.

- See you in a few.
- Okay, Ed.

- Thanks, Bobbi.
Have fun tonight.

- Thanks.
[laughs]

- Um, "in a few"?
"Tonight"?

Did you make plans?
- Oh, yeah.

Tonight I'm going
to "Cirque du Soleil:

Tribute to Weird Al,"

with that hot piece that I met
at the club last night.

- Ew, no.
No hot pieces.

Maybe regular
or lukewarm pieces at best.

Or, crazy idea, no pieces.

- And in a few, I'm going to
the crew basketball game.

Ed said that he'd
dunk for mommy.

- Well, you know what,

I--I play in
that basketball game, as well.

- You do?
- Yeah.

That's right,
and I'll do you one better.

I will dribble
and say your name every time.

Mama, mama,
mama-mama-mama-mama.

Just like that,
and then we can go home

and break out a puzzle.

You can tell me everything's
gon' be all right

or wherever the night takes us.

- Okay, sweetie, then

let's go.
- All right,

I'ma change real quick.
- All right.

- Ah, Pam.
Uh...

where is
the crew basketball game

and can you hook me up
with some shorts?

- Sure, but mine all have

"Juicy" written on the ass.

- Ah--no, I'll figure out
something else.

- All right, but you do
have a juicy booty.

That--that was a...

compliment, that was not
harassment, Nancy!

She's always reporting me.

[upbeat music]

- Mama, watch this,
watch this shot.

Like that.

Oh, oh!

- Uh-huh,
that's a nice pass, baby.

- But it was a shot, Mama.

This is all the dribbling
that you taught me.

Remember?
- That's good, baby.

- Ain't it good?
- Uh-huh.

- All right, watch this.
This gonna be the layup.

- [grunts]
- Ah!

- Bye, bye.
- What's up, Ed?

That's what we doing?

We're playing prison rules,
huh?

- [laughs]
- Oh, baby, you okay?

- [strained]
Yeah, I'm all right, Mama.

Thank you.
I barely felt it.

- Oh, good, because I was
about to drop everything

to take care of my baby.

- You were?
- Yeah!

- [winces]
Ow, ow--my pain!

There's s-so much pain.

[groaning]
I feel it now--ah, yeah.

It's my "mis-dis-cus."
Ooh.

- Don't you--
- I think it's blown.

- Don't worry,
my precious perfect--

[kiss] mommy's got you.
Aw, sweet pea.

- Okay, that feel good?
- Yes.

- You like your fuzzy socks?

- Mm-hmm, very nice.

You know, I was thinking,

there is that saying,

"feed a fever, starve a cold,

feed a knee--thing?"

I'm just saying, maybe some
of your sloppy chicken

might take my mind
off the pain?

Ever so briefly?
- That's a good idea.

You know, I'll get it started

then we can catch up
while it sloppifies.

Oh, sweetie,
it'll be just like old times.

Now, look,

don't work too hard.
He needs his rest.

- Yes, ma'am.

- You are wasting
your side-eye

because I am not ashamed
at all.

I knew she still had
that mama bear in her.

I just had to pull it out.

- Well, mama bear seems like

she's trying change her life
for the better.

Why can't you just support her?

- Because she's supposed to be
supporting me.

Taking care of me,
solving my problems, not hers.

Okay? Can you just please
count me down?

- Fine, but did we really have
to do the show from home

because you have an "injury"?

- My "injury" is real.

I mean, sure it's my heart
and not my knee,

but I'm hurting.

And besides,
this gives the people

a little peek into my world,

a "behind the Keens,"
if you will.

- I will not.

We're live in five.

Four, three,
sad ass mama's boy...

- ♪ Wake up, wake up,
wake up ♪

- It's "Wake Up With Kenan,"

and I am broadcasting live
from my boudoir.

I used to call it
my booty-doir,

but I took that sign down
years ago.

[toilet flushing]

- Are we rolling?

[upbeat music]

- It's a bonfire
for your fears.

It's a little ritual
I picked up

at the Reiki retreat

in Tucson.
- Ooh.

- You write down a fear,

throw it in the fire,

and you watch the ashes
float away.

- [excited laugh]

- Oh, yeah?

- Whoa-oh!

[coughs]

- All right, girls,
go clean up,

and don't lick any of those
chemicals off your face.

Not even the tasty ones!

- Not even a lick?
- Come on.

- Well, you're no fun.

- Excuse me, when did you
become so irresponsible?

- And when did you become
so responsible?

When we met,
you were playing sax

and a horn section
called "Me So Horny."

- You're right, since
I moved in with the girls,

it sure watered down
my whiskey.

I'm not just some aimless
pleasure-seeker anymore.

It's kind of embarrassing,
really.

Do you know there was a time,

that most of the boats
in the Florida Keys

were named after me?

- Change isn't bad, Rick.

Sometimes it's scary,
or it comes from a sad place,

but it's exciting!

I mean, I've changed a bit too.

But I've never felt more alive.

- Changed a bit?

Bobbi, you used to sit
over at that chair

and read "Goodnight Moon."

And now you got these girls

reenacting "Little Fires Everywhere."

- You had your fun, Rick.
I didn't.

You know, good life
is a balance

of selfish and selfless.

Maybe we're both just looking
to make up for lost time.

But, come on now.

you know that Cori
would have loved

this fear-fire thing, right?

- [laughs]
She was

into all that kooky,
Gwyneth Goopo stuff.

- Yeah, she was.

Well, I better get-a going,

I said I'd bring Kenan
some aspirin.

- Oh no, no, no.

You don't get to be
the cool one

and the responsible one.

I'll do it.

- Okay, 'cause you know I need
to go to the store.

- Take your time, girl.

Go skydiving, catch a shift
at Magic City, do you.

- Don't tempt me, Rick.
[both laugh]

Here we go.

Responsible Rick
with the drugs and the snugs.

- Where's my mom?

She's the one
that's supposed to be

bringing me the drugs
and snugs.

- You got someone better,

Dr. Feel Good himself.

Can I get you anything?
How about a foot rub?

- Ah--no.
- It's medical.

- No, no.
- Come on.

- Get your weirdly soft hands
off of me.

Where is my mom, man?

We were supposed to
hang out and talk.

- She went to pick up some
stuff for the sloppy chicken.

She'll be right back.

Why don't we talk?

Biggest fear, favorite food,
sexiest animal, go.

All right, I'll go.

Shark, shark, shark.

[downtempo music]

- Well, I could make
my famous chicken.

It's not particularly sloppy.

It's really just...

chicken breast
baked for a couple hours.

Very dry, tough to get down.

- Uh, no.

My mom will be back any second.

- I wouldn't count on that,
K-Dog.

She's at Cirque.
She just tagged me in a photo.

Who's the favorite now, playa?
[haughty chuckle]

- I'm going to bed.
- Kenan.

- [screams] Ow! Ah!
Why?

- I guess Mama's fuzzy socks
betrayed you.

- Are you not entertained?

- I'm entertained.
- [groans]

- Man, look at that butt scoot.

- See, you went
for a real injury.

You're supposed to fake it.

That's where you messed up at.

- Ow.
- Good morning.

- Mommy, mommy, there she is.

How was Weird Al?
- Hilarious.

Hey, sweetie.

Oh.
- Mama, everybody starving

because we went to bed
with empty tummies last night.

- Not true.
- I ordered pizza to my room.

- Intermittent fasting for me.

- I always got eggrolls
in my pocket.

- Baby, I am so sorry
about last night, but--

I went to the store and I got
a text from the man I met.

Look, I know skipping out
is not like me

but a year ago I realized that

we could be gone at any moment.

So I promised myself
that my new motto is

"make hay."

- Well, I guess, making hay

and apparently,
rolling around in it

is more important than
making time for your family.

And you know
hay is for horses, okay?

And a horse is a gift,

and you don't look
in the mouth of no--

I should have just left.
I had it!

[downtempo music]

- Kenan.
- I got this, Bobbi.

[birds chirping]

Kenan,

I know I'm not your number one
confidant, but--

- No, you're not.

It used to be my wife,
and I guess my mom for a while.

But now it's Gary,
and then Mika, then Aubrey,

never Birdie--
she's a little nuts--

some Reddit threads,

Adam Carolla
in his "Loveline" days,

my Larry Johnson
Grandmama poster,

Loni Love, Steve Harvey
first season of "Family Feud,"

Dionne Warwick
and the Psychic Friends--

- Okay, so kind of far down
on the list there.

Well, fair.

I just think I might know
what's going on here.

- Yeah, so do I.

My mom finally showed
her true colors,

and they are ugly.

I mean, she's not ugly.
She actually looks amazing.

Her behavior is ugly.

- Or maybe she's going through
something heavy herself.

I mean, she keeps talking
about this past year

being transformative
and all this...

"life is short" stuff.

- Wait, you think all
that stuff going on with her

has something to do with Cori?

- I do.

It really changed me.

In a very weird way.

- Rick's right, sweetie.

Oh, K-Kay.

I am so sorry.

Cori passed.

I realized
I hadn't done much living

since your dad died,
and honey, I gotta get it in

'cause I ain't getting
no younger.

But you know what?

I am done
with that selfishness.

I am ready to take my job back

as being your mommy.
[chuckles]

- Oh, Mom, taking care
of yourself isn't selfish.

It's self-care.

And nobody deserves it
more than you.

I mean, please, do you.

You already did me,

you been doing me
my whole life--

well, that sounded wrong.

But, seriously, you did
such a wonderful job,

and not just this year,

that I can finally take care
of myself with this now.

I mean, it's the only way

I'm ever gonna really get
through it anyway.

- Maybe I can help you out
in that department, too,

even though I'm fairly far down
on the list.

I mean, it--

it is kind of the whole reason
I'm here.

- Are you crying?

- My eyes are wet.
Is that crying?

- Yeah.
What's happening to you?

- I told you, man.
It's getting weird.

- Baby, aww.

I love you so much,
my precious perfect.

Now you know what?
You have waited long enough.

Why don't I make you some
of that sloppy chicken?

- Oh, no, Mama.

Thank you,
but you've done enough.

- No?

- What? You want some
sloppy chicken?

- Well, yeah--

it's all I've been hearing
about, sloppy chicken.

- Well, come on, I'm gonna
make it this time.

- Oh, boy.

- It's slimy.
Ew.

- And crunchy?

- Where is the chicken?

- My tastebuds feel...

well, I want to say betrayed.

- Might have done
something wrong.

- No, baby, you could never do
anything wrong,

neither of my babies can.

- You mean me or the dog?
- You, sweetie.

- [laughs]

- It's all sloppy
and no chicken.

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