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1
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[upbeat music]
2
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Chapter one.
3
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This is the story
of the Hayworth family.
4
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- Oh, no.
- Oh!
5
00:00:10,476 --> 00:00:12,111
Three siblings who loved each other.
6
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- What do I owe you?
- $1,150, brother.
7
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- Oh, dang.
- Okay.
8
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But money sometimes got in the way.
9
00:00:16,714 --> 00:00:18,184
Sarah was the middle child
10
00:00:18,216 --> 00:00:19,751
and the one with the least money.
11
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She lived in a tiny apartment
with her wife, Denise,
12
00:00:21,620 --> 00:00:23,089
and their two kids.
13
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They were always on top of each other.
14
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Literally.
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Hi, I was just calling
about the counselor position.
16
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Oh, you got the job.
17
00:00:32,597 --> 00:00:34,366
So you were supposed
to fill the position,
18
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but you gave it to yourself.
19
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That's fun. Quick question.
20
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Why did you even have me come in?
21
00:00:38,871 --> 00:00:40,673
I mean, you didn't even
validate my parking, so...
22
00:00:40,706 --> 00:00:42,475
And we are so happy for you.
23
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It's a tough job market
out there right now.
24
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Good luck, and let us know
if anything else opens up.
25
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Can I just say one more thing?
26
00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:49,182
There is a better job out there for you.
27
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In the meantime, do you want
to bake some cookies
28
00:00:51,649 --> 00:00:53,219
and look at pictures
of Cate Blanchett in suits?
29
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[laughs] Yes, I would.
30
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I thought we were going
to Uncle Connor's place.
31
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Yeah, his house has a second floor.
32
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- We have a second floor.
- You're sitting on it!
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A few minutes away,
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Sarah's younger brother Connor
had moved to the Bay Area
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with his wife and daughter.
36
00:01:07,533 --> 00:01:09,234
He'd made a fortune in finance,
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so much that he bought
his house from Matt Damon.
38
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Yes, that Matt Damon.
39
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They even had a live-in nanny.
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Lupe, can you do the thing?
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A nanny who took care of all of them.
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[laughs]
43
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Daddy, when do the cousins get here?
44
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Soon, baby. Today's gonna be epic.
45
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- Whole family together...
- Yeah, it's gonna be lit.
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That's my girl.
47
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Lupe.
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Come on.
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You're the best, Lupe!
50
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In between Connor and Sarah financially
51
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was the oldest sibling,
52
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Tom.
53
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He was middle-class, but
definitely not middlebrow.
54
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[toddler babbling]
55
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What?
56
00:01:50,499 --> 00:01:52,168
Yeah, you know what? You're right.
57
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It's the wrong kind of funny.
58
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- [babbles]
- Good point.
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Tom grew up the golden child
of the family,
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and actually became
a bestselling novelist.
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00:02:01,211 --> 00:02:03,380
But his latest novel had sold
about five copies,
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00:02:03,413 --> 00:02:05,649
as the public had failed
to appreciate its subtlety,
63
00:02:05,681 --> 00:02:10,086
and the author photo was not
the one the author chose.
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With the expenses piling up,
he now faced the humiliation
65
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of having to ask
his little brother for a loan.
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[laughs]
67
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What, you're a critic, too?
68
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Mom!
69
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- Also...
- I'm bored!
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He had too many kids.
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Investigators said they'd never seen
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a murder so gruesome,
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00:02:30,706 --> 00:02:32,641
but what they found
under the floorboards
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was even more disturbing.
75
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Well, got in almost half a page
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before they started crying.
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Your secret book about
Uncle Connor and Aunt Sarah?
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00:02:40,682 --> 00:02:42,651
Oh, no, no, no, sweetie.
It's not a secret.
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I'm just... I'm...
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hiding it from them.
81
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Que gallina es tu papá?
82
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- Mom said you're a chicken.
- [gasps]
83
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Well, that's just
nasty in two languages.
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Don't forget, we're going
to Connor's at 3:00.
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Great, that'll give me enough time
86
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to keep doing laundry
for the rest of my life.
87
00:03:01,337 --> 00:03:02,639
Love you, honey!
88
00:03:02,671 --> 00:03:06,242
Yo, bro, comma, psyched
to see your new dump,
89
00:03:06,276 --> 00:03:07,878
exclamation point.
90
00:03:07,910 --> 00:03:09,411
Smiley face.
91
00:03:09,444 --> 00:03:10,913
Yeah, did you buy it
from someone famous?
92
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I can't remember.
93
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Ha ha, very funny.
94
00:03:16,853 --> 00:03:18,851
You do know it was
Matt Damon though, right?
95
00:03:18,876 --> 00:03:19,689
- [chuckles]
- [upbeat music]
96
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- Subs by kinglouisxx -
for www.addic7ed.com
97
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[upbeat music]
98
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I wouldn't want someplace
this big... it's too big!
99
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I mean, who would want all this space?
100
00:03:29,766 --> 00:03:32,669
So many rooms, no one would
ever find you.
101
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I'm going for it.
102
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I'm just gonna look him
right in the eye.
103
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I'm gonna say "Connor,
104
00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:39,375
I know everyone thinks
my career is thriving..."
105
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Honey, I support you whether
you decide to ask for the loan
106
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or you don't, but I just can't
keep hearing about it.
107
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It's hard to ask
your baby brother for money.
108
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Well, don't think of him
as your baby brother.
109
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Think of him as a cartoon duck
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swimming in a pool of gold coins.
111
00:03:52,722 --> 00:03:55,291
He has a pool of gold coins?
112
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No.
113
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I don't think so.
114
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- Hey!
- Hi.
115
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Hey.
116
00:04:03,533 --> 00:04:06,241
So, are we still not telling your
brothers that you lost your job?
117
00:04:06,296 --> 00:04:07,871
- Not today, no.
- Okay.
118
00:04:07,903 --> 00:04:10,272
Oh, your cheese cave has a wine cellar?
119
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- Cool, I'm unemployed.
- Okay.
120
00:04:12,342 --> 00:04:13,577
I just... I don't need Tom's advice
121
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or Connor's sympathy fist bump.
122
00:04:15,844 --> 00:04:18,315
Okay, Lulu, we haven't seen
Connor in over a year,
123
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so maybe let's not get in a fight
124
00:04:19,616 --> 00:04:20,883
and storm out this time.
125
00:04:20,916 --> 00:04:22,419
Okay, I know your brothers are Scorpios,
126
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but they're still good people.
127
00:04:23,852 --> 00:04:25,287
You know I don't believe in that stuff.
128
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:26,356
That's a very Capricorn thing to say.
129
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Okay.
130
00:04:28,024 --> 00:04:30,427
Oh, wow, look!
131
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Dibs on tiny Porsche!
132
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- Ready for this?
- Do I have a choice?
133
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No.
134
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[screaming]
135
00:04:39,568 --> 00:04:42,345
- Oh, my God!
- Hey.
136
00:04:42,370 --> 00:04:44,608
Oh, my gosh, come on,
you have to see my dolls.
137
00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:45,975
Cool, what are their pronouns?
138
00:04:46,008 --> 00:04:47,710
- Come on!
- Whoa!
139
00:04:47,743 --> 00:04:49,979
- So cool!
- Oh, thank you.
140
00:04:50,012 --> 00:04:52,282
- You got it, right?
- Yeah.
141
00:04:52,315 --> 00:04:55,385
[light percussive music]
142
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De dónde eres?
143
00:04:56,618 --> 00:04:57,720
Colombiana, y tú?
144
00:04:57,753 --> 00:04:58,955
Quería, Mexicana.
145
00:04:58,988 --> 00:05:00,790
- Nobody's perfect.
- Oh.
146
00:05:00,823 --> 00:05:02,625
Okay.
147
00:05:02,659 --> 00:05:04,928
- This is obscene.
- I feel dirty.
148
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,296
So what do you guys think?
149
00:05:07,330 --> 00:05:08,765
- So nice.
- It's really tasteful.
150
00:05:08,805 --> 00:05:09,985
Mm-hmm.
151
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:12,034
I can't believe I'm finally
so close to you guys.
152
00:05:12,068 --> 00:05:14,803
We went stir-crazy in Seattle
this past year.
153
00:05:14,837 --> 00:05:16,873
Ugh, I'm sure it was so hard
for you and Emily
154
00:05:16,906 --> 00:05:18,942
to be quarantined with an infinity pool.
155
00:05:18,974 --> 00:05:21,811
No, my pool guy blew up on TikTok.
156
00:05:21,844 --> 00:05:24,948
So he's like a full-time
pool boy influencer now,
157
00:05:24,981 --> 00:05:27,450
just doing all like, you know,
this kinda...
158
00:05:27,483 --> 00:05:29,486
I don't know, but we had
to throw the tarp on.
159
00:05:29,519 --> 00:05:31,054
The pH balance got all out of whack.
160
00:05:31,087 --> 00:05:33,623
- It's...
- Ugh, I'd move, too.
161
00:05:33,656 --> 00:05:36,026
Hey, where is Emily?
She traveling for work again?
162
00:05:36,058 --> 00:05:38,827
Yeah, her firm owns a pipeline
163
00:05:38,861 --> 00:05:41,598
in one of the Dakotas.
164
00:05:41,630 --> 00:05:44,667
I don't know.
Someone's got to pay the bills.
165
00:05:44,700 --> 00:05:46,635
Didn't you make,
like, $5 million last year?
166
00:05:46,669 --> 00:05:49,839
Yeah, but Em makes, like, real money.
167
00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:53,075
I don't even want to know
what you think real money is.
168
00:05:53,109 --> 00:05:55,712
Oh, Tom, by the way,
finally read your book.
169
00:05:55,745 --> 00:05:57,012
You did?
170
00:05:57,046 --> 00:05:58,848
Yeah... well, first chapter, but, man.
171
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:02,017
So far I got to say it is...
172
00:06:02,051 --> 00:06:04,820
a much anticipated follow-up.
173
00:06:04,854 --> 00:06:06,723
We talk about how problematic it is?
174
00:06:06,755 --> 00:06:08,058
Oh, should I not read it?
175
00:06:08,090 --> 00:06:09,958
Well, there's exactly zero women.
176
00:06:09,991 --> 00:06:12,361
It's about
a prison baseball team in 1906.
177
00:06:12,395 --> 00:06:13,563
That sounds dope.
178
00:06:13,596 --> 00:06:14,664
I thought you read the first chapter.
179
00:06:14,697 --> 00:06:16,333
It's a long chapter, Tom.
180
00:06:16,366 --> 00:06:19,436
Look, Sarah, obviously I'm an ally.
181
00:06:19,469 --> 00:06:21,538
Yeah, Sarah, he married a Latina.
182
00:06:21,570 --> 00:06:22,705
Doesn't he get points for that?
183
00:06:22,738 --> 00:06:24,340
I didn't actually do it for points.
184
00:06:24,373 --> 00:06:26,609
Just the idea of points is so toxic.
185
00:06:26,642 --> 00:06:28,745
Okay, well definitely not less points.
186
00:06:30,479 --> 00:06:32,648
- Fewer points.
- You have a problem.
187
00:06:32,681 --> 00:06:34,784
Oh, my God, we get it.
You're a bestselling writer.
188
00:06:36,385 --> 00:06:39,022
And this is the playroom.
189
00:06:39,054 --> 00:06:41,957
Huh, okay, whoo.
190
00:06:41,991 --> 00:06:44,627
Wow.
191
00:06:44,659 --> 00:06:47,397
Shamiah, you got all the
orange and all the railroads.
192
00:06:47,429 --> 00:06:49,031
Guys, let me save you six hours.
193
00:06:49,065 --> 00:06:50,867
Shamiah's already won the game.
194
00:06:50,899 --> 00:06:53,803
- All right!
- But I've got both utilities.
195
00:06:53,835 --> 00:06:56,605
[sighs] Oh, Camila.
196
00:06:56,638 --> 00:06:59,008
All that means is that you just
spent $300
197
00:06:59,041 --> 00:07:01,378
on investments
with zero upgrade potential.
198
00:07:01,411 --> 00:07:02,911
Let me guess, you got Baltic, too?
199
00:07:02,945 --> 00:07:04,447
Yeah, you got Baltic.
200
00:07:04,479 --> 00:07:05,914
It's like a Willy Wonka fever dream.
201
00:07:05,948 --> 00:07:08,385
It's like an American Girl
store knocked up a Sephora.
202
00:07:08,418 --> 00:07:10,887
It's like we're inside Barbie's uterus.
203
00:07:10,919 --> 00:07:13,756
It's like a rave
meets an ice cream shop,
204
00:07:13,789 --> 00:07:15,524
and they...
205
00:07:15,558 --> 00:07:16,593
- I lost it.
- You tried.
206
00:07:16,625 --> 00:07:17,659
- Yeah, I lost it.
- You tried.
207
00:07:17,693 --> 00:07:19,027
You got a lot of cash. That's good.
208
00:07:19,061 --> 00:07:20,529
But it's not like the bank
is gonna pay you interest.
209
00:07:20,563 --> 00:07:22,164
Go off, king.
210
00:07:22,198 --> 00:07:23,832
Thank you, Kelvin.
211
00:07:23,866 --> 00:07:26,101
But let's talk about
your situation over here, bud.
212
00:07:26,135 --> 00:07:28,505
I mean, what's your strategy?
You're all over the place.
213
00:07:28,537 --> 00:07:29,872
The name of the game is Monopoly.
214
00:07:29,906 --> 00:07:32,909
I'm seeing one of each color.
215
00:07:32,941 --> 00:07:35,644
In chapter three, add a flashback
216
00:07:35,678 --> 00:07:37,680
where Connor's greed is stoked
by Monopoly,
217
00:07:37,712 --> 00:07:39,582
a game which is ironically
designed to teach
218
00:07:39,614 --> 00:07:41,617
about income inequality.
219
00:07:43,852 --> 00:07:45,954
I'm writing a book.
220
00:07:45,988 --> 00:07:48,892
Hm, I'm making chicken fingers.
221
00:07:49,409 --> 00:07:52,194
Yo, Tom, we're gonna call Mom and Dad.
222
00:07:52,227 --> 00:07:55,731
And this is the kitchen.
223
00:07:55,765 --> 00:07:57,599
- Oh, wow.
- Wow.
224
00:07:57,633 --> 00:07:58,868
- We love it.
- Yes.
225
00:07:58,900 --> 00:08:00,569
Is that Matt Damon's juicer?
226
00:08:00,602 --> 00:08:01,970
Hey, what's he like?
227
00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:04,006
Who, MD? Oh, he was great.
228
00:08:04,039 --> 00:08:07,010
Yeah, I mean, when my realtor
emailed his realtor
229
00:08:07,043 --> 00:08:10,480
about the inspection,
he responded like, so fast.
230
00:08:10,512 --> 00:08:13,149
- Wow.
- That is so Matt Damon.
231
00:08:13,181 --> 00:08:15,717
And to think you and Tom
shared that tiny little room
232
00:08:15,750 --> 00:08:17,786
growing up together.
233
00:08:17,820 --> 00:08:20,156
My millionaire and my big shot writer.
234
00:08:20,188 --> 00:08:22,458
Hi, I'm here, too.
235
00:08:22,491 --> 00:08:25,227
Of course, you are. How's work, sweetie?
236
00:08:25,260 --> 00:08:27,095
Oh, so great.
237
00:08:27,128 --> 00:08:29,599
Oh, I love seeing all of you together.
238
00:08:29,632 --> 00:08:31,568
My kids, my grandkids,
239
00:08:31,601 --> 00:08:33,870
my wonderful ethnic daughter-in-laws.
240
00:08:33,903 --> 00:08:35,171
- Mom, why would you say that?
- Mom, come on.
241
00:08:35,203 --> 00:08:37,606
What? They know I love them.
242
00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:40,610
Hola, Marina. Café con leche.
243
00:08:40,643 --> 00:08:43,580
That's right, Grandma.
Those are Spanish words.
244
00:08:43,612 --> 00:08:45,481
Hey, Mom.
245
00:08:45,515 --> 00:08:47,149
I know that Thanksgiving
is a couple months off,
246
00:08:47,183 --> 00:08:49,718
but I would like to try again
with the vegan turkey.
247
00:08:49,751 --> 00:08:51,954
I think the problem last time
was mostly in the taste
248
00:08:51,987 --> 00:08:53,722
and the texture area.
249
00:08:53,755 --> 00:08:56,659
Oh, Sarah...
250
00:08:56,692 --> 00:08:58,695
Okay, fine, there was a slight odor.
251
00:08:58,727 --> 00:09:00,195
I thought you told them.
252
00:09:00,228 --> 00:09:02,799
No, Connor, you were
supposed to tell them.
253
00:09:02,832 --> 00:09:04,900
Told us what?
254
00:09:04,933 --> 00:09:07,703
Connor's taking us
to the Turks and the Caicos!
255
00:09:07,736 --> 00:09:09,105
What?
256
00:09:09,138 --> 00:09:10,899
I don't understand.
257
00:09:10,939 --> 00:09:13,391
- She said it wrong. There's no "the."
- Dad.
258
00:09:13,416 --> 00:09:15,678
He's taking us to Turks and Caicos?
259
00:09:15,703 --> 00:09:17,271
No, the one "the" is fine.
260
00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:19,882
But we always have Thanksgiving
at Mom and Dad's place.
261
00:09:19,915 --> 00:09:21,885
- Yeah, it's a tradition.
- It's like our only tradition.
262
00:09:21,918 --> 00:09:23,852
So you're saying
it's Turks and the Caicos.
263
00:09:23,885 --> 00:09:25,053
That sounds crazy.
264
00:09:25,087 --> 00:09:26,655
Guys, we'll call you back.
265
00:09:26,688 --> 00:09:28,158
Now you got me confused.
266
00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:32,761
What, I can't take
Mom and Dad on a vacation?
267
00:09:32,794 --> 00:09:34,963
Connor, there's
51 other weeks of the year.
268
00:09:34,996 --> 00:09:37,866
Okay, but on Thanksgiving,
all we do is fight.
269
00:09:37,899 --> 00:09:39,568
Why do you guys even care?
270
00:09:39,601 --> 00:09:41,303
Because it's our special day
of fighting.
271
00:09:41,337 --> 00:09:42,739
And it's our special day of drinking.
272
00:09:42,771 --> 00:09:44,674
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay, I'll fix this.
273
00:09:44,707 --> 00:09:46,609
You guys wanna come to Turks and Caicos?
274
00:09:46,641 --> 00:09:48,310
- I'll bring everyone.
- That's not the point.
275
00:09:48,343 --> 00:09:50,813
Yeah, you're not getting it, man.
276
00:09:50,846 --> 00:09:52,649
So just airfare or you cover hotel, too?
277
00:09:52,682 --> 00:09:54,885
- Everything.
- Whew.
278
00:09:57,019 --> 00:09:58,554
- Tom.
- What? No.
279
00:09:58,587 --> 00:09:59,956
No, no, no. Yeah, no, Sarah's right.
280
00:09:59,989 --> 00:10:02,191
- That's not the point.
- Okay, Connor, you know?
281
00:10:02,223 --> 00:10:04,126
I didn't say anything
282
00:10:04,159 --> 00:10:06,962
about your ridiculous Matt Damon house
283
00:10:06,996 --> 00:10:08,731
with its screening room, and a backyard
284
00:10:08,764 --> 00:10:10,633
that's inside the house, and a closet
285
00:10:10,665 --> 00:10:12,768
just for your kid's pajamas.
286
00:10:12,802 --> 00:10:14,137
- It's a lot of pajama.
- You know what?
287
00:10:14,169 --> 00:10:15,604
Should we check out
the Japanese soaking tub?
288
00:10:15,638 --> 00:10:16,706
- We're leaving.
- Okay.
289
00:10:16,739 --> 00:10:19,075
Okay? Kelvin! Shamiah!
290
00:10:19,107 --> 00:10:20,184
- Sarah!
- Come on.
291
00:10:20,209 --> 00:10:22,744
Well, she lasted an hour.
I owe Shamiah ten bucks.
292
00:10:22,778 --> 00:10:24,147
After the year we've all had!
293
00:10:24,179 --> 00:10:26,181
It was so great seeing all of you,
294
00:10:26,215 --> 00:10:28,084
and she's gonna be back
for one more zing.
295
00:10:30,251 --> 00:10:32,354
And Matt Damon hasn't made a good movie
296
00:10:32,388 --> 00:10:34,223
since "We Bought a Zoo."
297
00:10:34,255 --> 00:10:35,725
And we're done.
298
00:10:35,757 --> 00:10:37,259
Okay, Marina, I'm gonna send
you that link
299
00:10:37,293 --> 00:10:39,128
to the seven-minute workout, and Connor,
300
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:40,662
welcome to the city.
301
00:10:40,696 --> 00:10:42,265
Thank you.
302
00:10:42,298 --> 00:10:44,267
[electronic music]
303
00:10:45,834 --> 00:10:47,263
Wait, did she say "We Bought a Zoo"?
304
00:10:49,672 --> 00:10:51,140
Why did we have to leave?
305
00:10:51,180 --> 00:10:53,049
I didn't even get to drive the Bentley
306
00:10:53,074 --> 00:10:55,110
- So, Lulu, to recap...
- Please, no recap.
307
00:10:55,144 --> 00:10:56,178
You said you weren't gonna storm out,
308
00:10:56,212 --> 00:10:57,813
and then what happened?
309
00:10:59,215 --> 00:11:00,383
- I stormed out.
- Yeah.
310
00:11:00,415 --> 00:11:01,784
But I can tell you're reconsidering
311
00:11:01,817 --> 00:11:03,952
because we haven't left yet.
312
00:11:03,986 --> 00:11:07,023
No. I forgot the keys inside,
and I'm too embarrassed
313
00:11:07,055 --> 00:11:08,890
to go back in and get them.
314
00:11:08,924 --> 00:11:10,360
I think they're on the towel warmer
315
00:11:10,393 --> 00:11:11,694
next to the robot toilet.
316
00:11:11,726 --> 00:11:13,762
Didn't get to use that either.
317
00:11:13,795 --> 00:11:15,030
[knock on the window]
318
00:11:21,337 --> 00:11:23,756
Found these over by the Sokito 5000.
319
00:11:23,781 --> 00:11:25,348
You know it's got a built-in Bluetooth?
320
00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:26,592
I've got to poop in that.
321
00:11:26,617 --> 00:11:29,212
Look, I know you and Tom were upset.
322
00:11:29,245 --> 00:11:30,472
But when we were kids,
323
00:11:30,497 --> 00:11:32,332
did we solve our problems
by running away?
324
00:11:32,357 --> 00:11:33,459
No.
325
00:11:33,522 --> 00:11:34,957
We'd figure it out.
326
00:11:34,982 --> 00:11:37,047
And then we'd make up
by singing our favorite song.
327
00:11:37,072 --> 00:11:39,909
You know? ♪ Mmm bop ♪
328
00:11:39,934 --> 00:11:42,108
♪ Mmm, mmm, mmm bop ♪
329
00:11:42,133 --> 00:11:45,103
- ♪ Duba du duba du ♪
- Okay, stop, you're butchering it.
330
00:11:45,128 --> 00:11:46,997
Look, I don't want her to go,
331
00:11:47,022 --> 00:11:49,405
but make it a lot easier
to ask Connor for that loan.
332
00:11:49,439 --> 00:11:51,341
Unless this puts him in a bad mood.
333
00:11:51,366 --> 00:11:52,968
If you don't want to ask him
for the loan,
334
00:11:53,001 --> 00:11:55,037
I could always go back to work
at the firm.
335
00:11:55,071 --> 00:11:56,673
I thought you hated the firm.
336
00:11:56,706 --> 00:11:59,909
I hate a lot of things, Tom,
yet here I am.
337
00:11:59,942 --> 00:12:01,678
Come on, I've got
this whole day planned out.
338
00:12:01,711 --> 00:12:03,246
Let's just go inside.
339
00:12:03,279 --> 00:12:06,381
I mean, he usually doesn't
put this much effort in.
340
00:12:06,414 --> 00:12:08,050
And that toilet sounds really cool.
341
00:12:08,083 --> 00:12:09,751
Yes, obviously we all want
to poop in that toilet.
342
00:12:09,784 --> 00:12:11,219
Let's go talk.
343
00:12:11,252 --> 00:12:13,055
I've got the perfect room
where we can work this out.
344
00:12:15,424 --> 00:12:18,694
[quirky music]
345
00:12:18,727 --> 00:12:22,064
Okay, so you meant
literally work it out.
346
00:12:22,097 --> 00:12:23,399
This is where I do my best thinking.
347
00:12:23,432 --> 00:12:24,801
This is great.
348
00:12:24,833 --> 00:12:26,068
I haven't been to a gym in eight months.
349
00:12:26,101 --> 00:12:27,970
You guys can use it anytime you want.
350
00:12:28,002 --> 00:12:29,438
Just wipe off the equipment
when you're done.
351
00:12:29,472 --> 00:12:31,073
What's that smell?
352
00:12:31,106 --> 00:12:33,108
Oh, Matt Damon used to use
this room to dry meat.
353
00:12:33,141 --> 00:12:34,876
Yeah, after "Monuments Men,"
354
00:12:34,909 --> 00:12:36,445
he got real into German cuisine.
355
00:12:36,478 --> 00:12:38,413
Okay, next time just say sweat.
356
00:12:38,447 --> 00:12:40,482
Look, Connor. Connor.
357
00:12:40,515 --> 00:12:43,086
The reason why I'm upset
about Thanksgiving
358
00:12:43,119 --> 00:12:45,088
is that you didn't even consult us.
359
00:12:45,121 --> 00:12:47,090
It just feels like,
since I make less money...
360
00:12:47,122 --> 00:12:48,957
Well, fewer money.
361
00:12:48,991 --> 00:12:50,460
Right, Tom?
362
00:12:50,492 --> 00:12:53,061
It feels like my opinion matters less.
363
00:12:53,095 --> 00:12:56,966
Look, I'm sorry I have like
a ridiculous amount of money.
364
00:12:56,999 --> 00:12:58,101
You want me to give it all away?
365
00:12:58,134 --> 00:12:59,469
I'll give it all away.
366
00:12:59,501 --> 00:13:02,270
Obviously not all of it.
That'd be crazy.
367
00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:05,207
- Come on, ask him.
- No, now is not the time.
368
00:13:05,241 --> 00:13:07,210
- This is exactly the time.
- Hey, what's up?
369
00:13:07,242 --> 00:13:08,977
- Hi.
- No secrets in the meat room.
370
00:13:09,010 --> 00:13:10,480
Spit it out.
371
00:13:10,513 --> 00:13:13,082
- Well...
- It...
372
00:13:13,115 --> 00:13:16,419
We're actually having a sexual problem.
373
00:13:16,452 --> 00:13:17,465
- Ew.
- What?
374
00:13:17,490 --> 00:13:18,987
I agree, we probably
shouldn't talk about it
375
00:13:19,027 --> 00:13:19,979
in front of other people.
376
00:13:20,004 --> 00:13:21,991
We need to borrow money,
but Tom's afraid to ask.
377
00:13:22,031 --> 00:13:23,099
- What?
- You do?
378
00:13:23,125 --> 00:13:25,761
No, no, no, no. Look.
379
00:13:25,794 --> 00:13:27,863
I know everyone thinks
that my career is thriving,
380
00:13:27,896 --> 00:13:29,331
but the tru... ahh!
381
00:13:29,365 --> 00:13:31,100
- Oh, my God.
- Oh!
382
00:13:31,132 --> 00:13:32,167
Tom.
383
00:13:32,201 --> 00:13:34,337
I'm good. I'm good.
384
00:13:34,370 --> 00:13:36,172
I'm okay. I just...
385
00:13:36,204 --> 00:13:38,206
I hurt my elbow a little bit.
386
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:40,143
And my face.
387
00:13:41,209 --> 00:13:44,346
Wait, you need to borrow
money, why didn't you just ask?
388
00:13:44,380 --> 00:13:47,482
I've been trying, but it's embarrassing.
389
00:13:47,515 --> 00:13:49,952
It makes me feel like a failure.
390
00:13:49,985 --> 00:13:52,188
Nobody bought my last book.
391
00:13:52,221 --> 00:13:54,090
But the first three pages were so good.
392
00:13:56,491 --> 00:13:58,560
I don't know what happened to my life.
393
00:13:58,593 --> 00:14:01,463
I mean, I was the A student, right?
394
00:14:01,496 --> 00:14:04,132
I'm the one who went
to an Ivy League school.
395
00:14:04,165 --> 00:14:05,568
- Well...
- Cornell.
396
00:14:05,601 --> 00:14:08,404
I'm almost 40 and clipping
supermarket coupons
397
00:14:08,437 --> 00:14:10,406
while my younger brother
subscribes to a magazine
398
00:14:10,438 --> 00:14:12,507
about private jets.
399
00:14:12,540 --> 00:14:14,544
I don't subscribe to that, Tom.
400
00:14:14,577 --> 00:14:16,445
They send that for free.
401
00:14:16,477 --> 00:14:19,247
Every month we fall further behind.
402
00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:21,983
And three kids are not cheap.
403
00:14:22,016 --> 00:14:24,553
Okay, I'm sorry that you're
going through this,
404
00:14:24,587 --> 00:14:27,490
but you are not the only one
who's struggling.
405
00:14:27,523 --> 00:14:29,425
Okay, Lulu, it's not a competition.
406
00:14:29,457 --> 00:14:31,827
And we could really use the help.
407
00:14:31,861 --> 00:14:34,297
Well, we could also use the help.
408
00:14:34,329 --> 00:14:35,964
Oh, I thought you said
it's not a competition.
409
00:14:35,997 --> 00:14:37,866
Well, Marina, you're a corporate lawyer,
410
00:14:37,899 --> 00:14:39,302
and I'm a public school teacher,
411
00:14:39,334 --> 00:14:41,303
and my savings account is a mug.
412
00:14:41,337 --> 00:14:43,472
I'm not working anymore,
and you two have dual income,
413
00:14:43,505 --> 00:14:45,842
and we just have Tom's
$12 royalty checks.
414
00:14:45,875 --> 00:14:47,109
Sorry, honey.
415
00:14:47,141 --> 00:14:48,276
We don't have dual income anymore
416
00:14:48,309 --> 00:14:49,845
because I lost my job last week.
417
00:14:49,879 --> 00:14:51,047
Ooh.
418
00:14:51,079 --> 00:14:53,448
They fired you from the...
419
00:14:53,481 --> 00:14:56,017
- The school thing.
- The school thing?
420
00:14:56,050 --> 00:14:57,052
Do you even know what I do?
421
00:14:57,086 --> 00:14:58,387
- Yeah.
- Yes.
422
00:14:58,419 --> 00:15:00,289
- You're like a child...
- You do guidance...
423
00:15:00,322 --> 00:15:01,991
- Research.
- Counseling.
424
00:15:02,024 --> 00:15:04,427
I'm a therapist
for low-income, at-risk kids.
425
00:15:04,459 --> 00:15:06,127
- Yes, you are.
- Yeah.
426
00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:07,362
- That's what I just said.
- That is exactly what you do.
427
00:15:07,395 --> 00:15:08,865
I wish I'd known you were unemployed
428
00:15:08,898 --> 00:15:09,866
before I asked for a loan.
429
00:15:09,899 --> 00:15:11,333
Now I feel like a jerk.
430
00:15:11,366 --> 00:15:14,035
Oh, I'm sorry that the timing
of my getting laid off
431
00:15:14,068 --> 00:15:15,371
was inconvenient for you.
432
00:15:15,404 --> 00:15:16,938
- That's not what I...
- Guys.
433
00:15:16,972 --> 00:15:19,074
We're family, okay? It's not a big deal.
434
00:15:19,107 --> 00:15:20,476
I can float you both.
435
00:15:20,509 --> 00:15:22,077
Connor, I don't want your money, okay?
436
00:15:22,118 --> 00:15:24,152
Not from big pharma, fossil
fuels, or blood diamonds...
437
00:15:24,178 --> 00:15:25,347
Okay, okay.
438
00:15:25,380 --> 00:15:26,414
But Tom shouldn't get it either.
439
00:15:26,448 --> 00:15:28,550
- Whoa!
- Oh, that's a healthy attitude.
440
00:15:28,583 --> 00:15:30,085
How is that not toxic?
441
00:15:30,126 --> 00:15:32,295
Oh, the golden boy hits
his first speed bump
442
00:15:32,321 --> 00:15:33,890
and immediately asks for a bailout?
443
00:15:33,923 --> 00:15:35,258
I mean, white privilege much?
444
00:15:35,290 --> 00:15:36,558
- Mm-mm.
- I'm sorry, I heard it.
445
00:15:36,592 --> 00:15:38,660
Guys, can we please,
for once, just not fight?
446
00:15:38,693 --> 00:15:40,029
I don't think that's possible.
447
00:15:40,062 --> 00:15:40,996
I've been asking that for 13 years.
448
00:15:41,029 --> 00:15:42,164
Honestly, it's a good thing
449
00:15:42,197 --> 00:15:43,099
that we're canceling Thanksgiving.
450
00:15:43,131 --> 00:15:44,532
- Guys.
- Oh, no!
451
00:15:44,566 --> 00:15:46,202
How am I supposed to survive
without your fake turkey?
452
00:15:46,235 --> 00:15:47,970
- You said you liked it!
- I lied!
453
00:15:48,002 --> 00:15:49,437
I can... I can still feel it
in my mouth!
454
00:15:49,471 --> 00:15:50,505
Guys!
455
00:15:50,539 --> 00:15:52,308
Come on!
456
00:15:52,341 --> 00:15:54,543
Today was supposed to be epic.
457
00:15:54,576 --> 00:15:58,114
I don't know why I thought
this would work.
458
00:15:58,146 --> 00:15:59,614
Oh.
459
00:15:59,648 --> 00:16:01,617
Why what would work?
460
00:16:01,649 --> 00:16:04,386
What is with him?
He's been acting weird all day.
461
00:16:04,419 --> 00:16:06,354
All like, "Let's be best friends.
462
00:16:06,388 --> 00:16:08,557
Come check out my toilet."
463
00:16:08,590 --> 00:16:11,260
Wait, he said Emily's
on a business trip, right?
464
00:16:11,293 --> 00:16:13,361
In one of the Dakotas.
465
00:16:13,395 --> 00:16:15,197
There's, like, 500 closets here,
466
00:16:15,230 --> 00:16:17,265
and I haven't seen any of her stuff.
467
00:16:17,299 --> 00:16:19,968
- Oh, my God.
- Oh.
468
00:16:20,001 --> 00:16:21,971
Connor killed Emily.
469
00:16:25,307 --> 00:16:27,076
Sorry, I've had a lot of wine.
470
00:16:27,108 --> 00:16:29,711
[upbeat percussion music]
471
00:16:29,745 --> 00:16:32,682
Hey, Connor.
472
00:16:32,715 --> 00:16:34,250
Oh! Okay.
473
00:16:34,283 --> 00:16:36,452
Yep, real mature.
474
00:16:38,153 --> 00:16:40,022
Come on, man.
475
00:16:40,054 --> 00:16:42,558
Connor, please, can we just talk?
476
00:16:42,591 --> 00:16:44,060
- Connor.
- We're losing him.
477
00:16:44,092 --> 00:16:45,361
Circle back.
478
00:16:45,394 --> 00:16:51,267
♪ ♪
479
00:16:51,299 --> 00:16:54,002
Even in a mini car, you drive
like an old lady, Tom.
480
00:16:57,172 --> 00:16:59,609
Emily's not just
on a business trip, is she?
481
00:17:03,345 --> 00:17:06,281
We haven't told Gretchen yet.
482
00:17:06,315 --> 00:17:07,984
Oh, my God. What did you do?
483
00:17:08,017 --> 00:17:10,186
Dude, she was cheating on me.
484
00:17:10,219 --> 00:17:12,388
- Oh.
- Wow, sorry.
485
00:17:12,421 --> 00:17:14,657
On top of that,
my super hot Pilates teacher
486
00:17:14,690 --> 00:17:17,625
totally wanted it,
and I didn't even do anything.
487
00:17:17,658 --> 00:17:18,694
Okay.
488
00:17:20,662 --> 00:17:22,565
Why didn't you tell us?
489
00:17:22,597 --> 00:17:24,633
About the Pilates teacher?
You guys know Danica?
490
00:17:24,665 --> 00:17:26,501
- No, not the...
- She's great, right?
491
00:17:26,543 --> 00:17:29,214
- No, not her.
- Why didn't you tell us about Emily?
492
00:17:30,271 --> 00:17:32,441
I didn't know how.
493
00:17:32,473 --> 00:17:34,275
I know how much you guys look up to me.
494
00:17:34,308 --> 00:17:36,545
- We don't.
- We do not.
495
00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:40,415
Emily was just so much better
at the whole parenting thing.
496
00:17:40,449 --> 00:17:42,685
One of the reasons I wanted
to move back here, you know?
497
00:17:42,718 --> 00:17:44,587
If I'm gonna be a single dad,
498
00:17:44,619 --> 00:17:47,289
I want Gretchen to be
with her cousins, you know?
499
00:17:47,321 --> 00:17:48,590
Be a normal kid.
500
00:17:48,624 --> 00:17:51,093
[gentle music]
501
00:17:51,125 --> 00:17:54,062
I guess...
502
00:17:54,096 --> 00:17:57,165
I wanted to be a little closer
to you guys.
503
00:17:57,199 --> 00:18:01,270
♪ ♪
504
00:18:01,302 --> 00:18:03,171
Hey.
505
00:18:03,204 --> 00:18:06,741
I'm really sorry for being such
a maniac about Thanksgiving.
506
00:18:06,775 --> 00:18:09,445
No, I should've checked with you.
507
00:18:09,478 --> 00:18:11,614
Look.
508
00:18:11,646 --> 00:18:15,116
- We're gonna help you, okay?
- Mm-hmm.
509
00:18:15,150 --> 00:18:18,120
Whatever you need.
You're not alone in this.
510
00:18:18,153 --> 00:18:19,587
- We're here for you.
- Yeah.
511
00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:21,056
We're family.
512
00:18:23,192 --> 00:18:25,227
And speaking of which,
513
00:18:25,260 --> 00:18:26,796
if you're serious about that loan,
514
00:18:26,828 --> 00:18:28,297
I'm totally gonna pay you back.
515
00:18:28,329 --> 00:18:29,664
Of course, man.
516
00:18:29,697 --> 00:18:32,200
I would love to hold a loan
over your head.
517
00:18:32,233 --> 00:18:34,302
I'm gonna bring it up
every time I see you.
518
00:18:34,336 --> 00:18:36,238
Wow, I'm looking forward to that.
519
00:18:36,270 --> 00:18:37,639
Yeah. [laughs]
520
00:18:37,673 --> 00:18:39,340
You know, I really thought
521
00:18:39,374 --> 00:18:40,675
that I was the one
with all the problems,
522
00:18:40,709 --> 00:18:42,378
and that you two just had it
figured out.
523
00:18:42,411 --> 00:18:43,813
I thought the exact same thing.
524
00:18:43,846 --> 00:18:46,082
What a relief. We're all screwed up.
525
00:18:46,115 --> 00:18:49,218
Right, at least we're
all screwed up together.
526
00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:50,452
Aww.
527
00:18:50,485 --> 00:18:52,220
♪ ♪
528
00:18:52,253 --> 00:18:53,789
Actually, aww.
529
00:18:53,821 --> 00:18:55,657
- [laughs]
- Come here.
530
00:18:55,691 --> 00:18:59,862
♪ ♪
531
00:18:59,895 --> 00:19:02,496
There's so many relationships
in this life.
532
00:19:03,572 --> 00:19:06,776
- ♪ Only one or two will last ♪
- Oh, no, no, no.
533
00:19:06,822 --> 00:19:09,110
[both] ♪ Through all
the pain and strife ♪
534
00:19:09,152 --> 00:19:12,208
♪ You turn your back,
and it's gone so fast ♪
535
00:19:12,241 --> 00:19:14,210
♪ Ooh, yeah ♪
536
00:19:14,249 --> 00:19:16,786
[together] ♪ And they're gone so fast ♪
537
00:19:16,811 --> 00:19:18,279
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
538
00:19:18,312 --> 00:19:19,481
♪ Mmm bop ♪
539
00:19:19,514 --> 00:19:23,618
♪ Ba duba dop, ba du bop ♪
540
00:19:23,652 --> 00:19:27,456
♪ Ba duba dop, ba du, yeah, yeah ♪
541
00:19:27,489 --> 00:19:30,659
♪ Mmm bop, ba duba dop ♪
542
00:19:30,692 --> 00:19:33,628
♪ Ba du bop, ba du dop ♪
543
00:19:33,662 --> 00:19:37,399
♪ Ba du, yeah, yeah ♪
544
00:19:37,432 --> 00:19:40,236
This is the story
of the Hayworth family,
545
00:19:40,269 --> 00:19:41,636
three siblings who figured out
546
00:19:41,670 --> 00:19:44,206
that while money can divide us,
547
00:19:44,239 --> 00:19:47,476
it's family that unites us.
548
00:19:47,509 --> 00:19:50,779
Ohh!
549
00:19:50,811 --> 00:19:52,380
It's okay.
550
00:19:52,414 --> 00:19:54,616
There's no damage.
551
00:19:54,650 --> 00:19:56,185
Ooh.
552
00:19:56,218 --> 00:19:58,459
Yeah, there's actually
a little bit of damage.
553
00:19:59,701 --> 00:20:00,833
You sure you guys aren't mad
554
00:20:00,874 --> 00:20:01,982
about not going to the Caribbean?
555
00:20:02,007 --> 00:20:03,098
No.
556
00:20:03,123 --> 00:20:06,327
Thanksgiving
at Jason Bourne's old house?
557
00:20:06,352 --> 00:20:07,721
Can't beat that.
558
00:20:07,762 --> 00:20:09,365
As long as we're all together.
559
00:20:09,397 --> 00:20:11,500
- Bye, you guys.
- Bye.
560
00:20:11,532 --> 00:20:12,635
- Love you, bye.
- Bye, love you.
561
00:20:12,660 --> 00:20:13,953
Love you, guys.
562
00:20:13,978 --> 00:20:15,313
What the hell?
563
00:20:15,338 --> 00:20:16,973
No Turks or Caicos.
564
00:20:16,998 --> 00:20:18,289
I bought new sandals.
565
00:20:18,314 --> 00:20:20,175
I bragged about this trip to Brenda.
566
00:20:20,216 --> 00:20:21,751
I can't not go.
567
00:20:21,777 --> 00:20:23,235
We'll pay for it ourselves.
568
00:20:23,275 --> 00:20:25,244
Let me check our Radisson points.
569
00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:26,602
Every time.
570
00:20:26,649 --> 00:20:28,993
Yeah, honestly sometimes it kind
of feels like it's on purpose.
571
00:20:29,018 --> 00:20:31,389
Why don't I just send them
to Turks and Caico?
572
00:20:31,414 --> 00:20:33,718
- That's a very good idea.
- Permanently.
573
00:20:34,139 --> 00:20:35,941
All right, where were we?
574
00:20:35,966 --> 00:20:37,401
Oh, Uncle Tommy.
575
00:20:37,435 --> 00:20:39,458
You owe my daddy a bunch of money.
576
00:20:39,483 --> 00:20:41,705
Aw, it's just like real life.
577
00:20:41,738 --> 00:20:42,973
[laughter]
578
00:20:43,006 --> 00:20:44,775
Hey, until that bestseller comes out.
579
00:20:44,809 --> 00:20:46,034
What's the book about anyway?
580
00:20:46,058 --> 00:20:48,315
Yeah, Tom. What's the book about anyway?
581
00:20:48,841 --> 00:20:50,043
Uh...
582
00:20:53,298 --> 00:20:56,603
I haven't figured it out yet, so...
583
00:20:56,635 --> 00:20:59,738
Okay, well, try to put
a woman in it this time, okay?
584
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:02,730
Add woman to novel. Got it.
585
00:21:02,755 --> 00:21:04,276
[laughter]
586
00:21:04,309 --> 00:21:05,711
All right, my turn.
587
00:21:05,752 --> 00:21:07,486
Mommy needs a new breast pump.
588
00:21:07,513 --> 00:21:09,049
- As Tom looked at his family,
- Here we go.
589
00:21:09,082 --> 00:21:11,618
he felt closer to them than ever before.
590
00:21:11,651 --> 00:21:14,055
It was a feeling that he knew
would last.
591
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:16,255
[yelling]
592
00:21:16,288 --> 00:21:18,057
- $2,000.
- Oh, my God.
593
00:21:18,091 --> 00:21:21,294
- You don't need more money.
- He does this every time!
594
00:21:21,326 --> 00:21:22,494
At least, until they found out
595
00:21:22,527 --> 00:21:23,762
he was writing a novel about them,
596
00:21:23,796 --> 00:21:25,770
and then they'd never talk to him again.
597
00:21:25,795 --> 00:21:27,698
[upbeat music]
43462
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