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1
00:02:13,742 --> 00:02:17,504
"Old Lady Spinster,"
her guest hissed,
2
00:02:17,528 --> 00:02:21,378
as he begged for his life.
3
00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:24,381
If you listen closely,
4
00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:29,081
you can still hear the
cries of her victims.
5
00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:33,651
The cries of her victims!
6
00:02:33,675 --> 00:02:38,134
- Beware!
- Beware!
7
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:43,661
Beware, beware!
8
00:02:43,685 --> 00:02:45,053
Beware!
9
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,274
But you still have
two nights left
10
00:02:48,298 --> 00:02:49,797
on your reservation!
11
00:02:49,821 --> 00:02:51,712
I told you we should've
gone to Dollywood!
12
00:02:51,736 --> 00:02:54,454
Who would want to stay
here? These people are frauds!
13
00:03:03,661 --> 00:03:05,813
This fake blood sure stains.
14
00:03:05,837 --> 00:03:07,685
How grandmother was
able to get real blood
15
00:03:07,709 --> 00:03:09,469
out of this carpet,
I'll never know.
16
00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:11,036
Right?
17
00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:13,691
Hey, Granny, share with
us your secret, would ya?
18
00:03:13,715 --> 00:03:15,736
I mean, give us some
of that sage advice.
19
00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:17,347
"Sell the house!
20
00:03:17,371 --> 00:03:19,566
Change your name
and start a new hotel!"
21
00:03:19,590 --> 00:03:20,828
Wow, did you hear that?
22
00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:23,614
That's some really
good advice there.
23
00:03:23,638 --> 00:03:27,008
- It's not funny, Sam!
- Just show some respect.
24
00:03:27,032 --> 00:03:28,271
Come on, sis, just admit it.
25
00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:30,142
Nobody wants to
stay in a murder house.
26
00:03:30,166 --> 00:03:32,144
This isn't just
some murder house.
27
00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:33,276
This is our house.
28
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,823
- It's morbid!
- It's family.
29
00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:40,674
People like horror.
30
00:03:40,698 --> 00:03:42,328
People like being scared.
31
00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:44,765
- Crazy people.
- Don't.
32
00:03:44,789 --> 00:03:46,289
I'm not saying
you're crazy, I'm just...
33
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:49,205
Our customers are out there.
34
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,274
We just have to find them.
35
00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:59,824
Look at this.
36
00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:03,001
Lizzie Bord-Inn, booked.
37
00:04:03,025 --> 00:04:05,612
Dahmer Apartment, booked.
38
00:04:05,636 --> 00:04:08,311
John Wayne Gacy
Circus Tent, booked.
39
00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:10,313
Us, nothing.
40
00:04:10,337 --> 00:04:13,881
What is it gonna take
to get us on the map?
41
00:04:13,905 --> 00:04:18,277
Grandmother was America's
first female serial killer.
42
00:04:18,301 --> 00:04:20,216
That's a big deal.
43
00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:24,718
If only the world knew you
were so groundbreaking.
44
00:04:24,742 --> 00:04:27,765
And so psychotic.
45
00:04:27,789 --> 00:04:30,463
- What up, killers?
- It's TheMorgueCases.
46
00:04:30,487 --> 00:04:32,639
Today I got to check
another crime scene
47
00:04:32,663 --> 00:04:35,338
off my mass murder bucket
list and spent the night
48
00:04:35,362 --> 00:04:39,472
in Jeffrey Dahmer's
apartment. It was so great!
49
00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:42,170
That's it! Influencers.
50
00:04:42,194 --> 00:04:46,827
I need stupid, vapid, "Like
and Subscribe" influencers.
51
00:04:46,851 --> 00:04:50,135
Okay, we reach out to this
girl. We offer her a free night.
52
00:04:50,159 --> 00:04:52,703
We wine and dine
and frighten her,
53
00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:56,513
and then, boom, positive review.
54
00:04:58,602 --> 00:05:00,082
You lost me at "free."
55
00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:06,325
I'm at the Spinster
Murder House,
56
00:05:06,349 --> 00:05:08,806
and if you've never heard
of it, don't be ashamed.
57
00:05:08,830 --> 00:05:11,635
This one is a deep cut,
even for The Morgue.
58
00:05:11,659 --> 00:05:13,463
The story goes
that 80 years ago,
59
00:05:13,487 --> 00:05:16,596
Old Lady Spinster, the
proprietor of this hotel,
60
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:19,382
murdered an untold
number of guests.
61
00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:23,168
After confessing to her crimes,
she died in an insane asylum.
62
00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:25,344
No. Hi.
63
00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:28,391
Actually, she did not
die in an insane asylum.
64
00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:31,742
She died peacefully
in a retirement home.
65
00:05:31,766 --> 00:05:33,831
And this, my morbid viewers,
66
00:05:33,855 --> 00:05:36,399
is Lady Spinster's
own granddaughter.
67
00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:41,360
- That's me, proud Spinster.
- The name, not the other way.
68
00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:44,711
- You know how it is, Morgan.
- Call me Morgue.
69
00:05:44,735 --> 00:05:46,931
Now, you inherited this
place from your grandmother?
70
00:05:46,955 --> 00:05:49,044
Yes, we did, my brother and I.
71
00:05:52,308 --> 00:05:53,938
Hi.
72
00:05:53,962 --> 00:05:56,201
Go ahead and say hi to
our viewers, Mr. Spinster.
73
00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:58,682
Are they, she's live right now?
74
00:05:58,706 --> 00:06:01,859
- Yeah, but don't worry.
- This is my BTS stream.
75
00:06:01,883 --> 00:06:05,993
Only a few thousand
people are watching.
76
00:06:06,017 --> 00:06:10,128
Um, welcome to the
Spinster Murder House!
77
00:06:10,152 --> 00:06:13,000
This way to the deception den.
78
00:06:17,942 --> 00:06:19,572
Ooh!
79
00:06:19,596 --> 00:06:22,532
The house got gift
points for creep factor.
80
00:06:22,556 --> 00:06:24,534
Grandmother designed it herself.
81
00:06:24,558 --> 00:06:26,797
Some even say the
house drove her to kill.
82
00:06:26,821 --> 00:06:28,364
No, they don't.
83
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,366
You have a shrine of her?
84
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:33,958
I love it! It's so trashy.
85
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:40,419
Wow. It's working!
86
00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:43,466
The stream dropped.
87
00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,555
That's the steel
panels in the walls.
88
00:06:45,579 --> 00:06:47,208
Grandmother had them installed.
89
00:06:47,232 --> 00:06:49,210
To muffle the
screams of her victims.
90
00:06:49,234 --> 00:06:53,954
- My god.
- That's horrible.
91
00:06:53,978 --> 00:06:55,632
Is there Wi-Fi?
92
00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:01,397
This place sure is a maze.
93
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,834
That's the whole point, dear.
94
00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:06,489
You see, grandmother designed
the architecture of this house
95
00:07:06,513 --> 00:07:10,231
to confuse and
then trap her victims.
96
00:07:14,651 --> 00:07:16,368
See, that's what
happens to guests
97
00:07:16,392 --> 00:07:17,717
when they break the house rules.
98
00:07:17,741 --> 00:07:19,806
Rules?
99
00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:22,243
My grandmother was very strict.
100
00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:25,246
Rule number one, no smoking.
101
00:07:30,841 --> 00:07:32,689
And then there's
rule number two,
102
00:07:32,713 --> 00:07:35,126
absolutely no feet
on the furniture.
103
00:07:41,852 --> 00:07:45,223
And of course, and
most importantly,
104
00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:47,486
rule number three
105
00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:49,836
- No noise after dark.
- No!
106
00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:57,278
The blood of everyone who
broke grandmother's rules
107
00:07:57,302 --> 00:08:01,369
still stains the
walls of this house.
108
00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:04,982
- Looks more like rust.
- Do you have leaky pipes?
109
00:08:05,006 --> 00:08:08,333
No. No, no, no,
no, no. That's blood.
110
00:08:08,357 --> 00:08:09,900
Well, then, what
happened to the bodies?
111
00:08:09,924 --> 00:08:11,292
They never found them.
112
00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:12,729
Then how do you know it's true?
113
00:08:12,753 --> 00:08:14,252
Because she confessed.
114
00:08:14,276 --> 00:08:15,645
If there's no body,
then there's no murder.
115
00:08:15,669 --> 00:08:17,473
That's like True Crime 101.
116
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,257
Perhaps she fed
them to her victims.
117
00:08:19,281 --> 00:08:20,563
And the bones?
118
00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:21,781
They were tossed
down this corpse chute
119
00:08:21,805 --> 00:08:25,045
to a secret basement below.
120
00:08:25,069 --> 00:08:29,920
- That's just a dumbwaiter.
- Or a dead waiter.
121
00:08:29,944 --> 00:08:33,619
I don't know. It just
seems a little thin.
122
00:08:33,643 --> 00:08:35,054
What's that supposed to mean?
123
00:08:35,078 --> 00:08:37,405
It's just, I've studied
every serial killer
124
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:40,669
from John Eric Armstrong
to Kevin Lee Zimmerman,
125
00:08:40,693 --> 00:08:42,498
and I've never heard
of the Spinster case
126
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,933
until you emailed me.
127
00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:45,805
How do you know she wasn't
just some crazy old woman
128
00:08:45,829 --> 00:08:47,285
who built a wonky house?
129
00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:50,636
You have no idea what
you're talking about.
130
00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:54,074
I mean, grandmother was
a world-class serial killer,
131
00:08:54,098 --> 00:08:55,598
and I'll bet if she
was here right now,
132
00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:57,101
she'd hack you to pieces!
133
00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:04,084
What she meant was
if you need anything,
134
00:09:04,108 --> 00:09:05,108
let us know.
135
00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:19,143
This house is definitely spooky,
136
00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:21,319
but I don't know
about the owners.
137
00:09:21,343 --> 00:09:23,016
They're kinda creepy,
138
00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,410
and I don't mean
creepy in a fun way.
139
00:09:25,434 --> 00:09:27,479
Like, sad creepy.
140
00:09:31,005 --> 00:09:33,374
- "There's no body.
- There's no murder."
141
00:09:33,398 --> 00:09:35,072
Can you believe her?
142
00:09:35,096 --> 00:09:37,335
Accusing dear old grandmother
of not killing anyone?
143
00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:39,032
Just stop complaining, okay?
144
00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:43,341
We're not doing this for her.
We're doing it for her viewers.
145
00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:46,605
Whoa.
146
00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:49,434
What the hell's happening
with our reservations?
147
00:09:49,458 --> 00:09:52,132
I bet it's her.
148
00:09:52,156 --> 00:09:55,048
So far the only thing I'm
sure Old Lady Spinster killed
149
00:09:55,072 --> 00:09:56,833
is my vacation.
150
00:09:56,857 --> 00:10:00,663
This little brat
is gonna ruin us.
151
00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:03,970
No, she isn't.
152
00:10:19,096 --> 00:10:22,598
You're just in
time for breakfast.
153
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,687
I made some sausage and eggs.
154
00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:27,559
I'm vegan. I think
meat is murder.
155
00:10:27,583 --> 00:10:28,908
I thought you liked murder.
156
00:10:28,932 --> 00:10:31,563
Well, yeah, but just people.
157
00:10:33,589 --> 00:10:35,698
Also, the Wi-Fi's down.
158
00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:37,961
Yes, that, um, I've
actually been on the phone
159
00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:40,267
all morning with
the repair company,
160
00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:42,705
and waiting, you know how it is.
161
00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:46,012
- Right.
- Well, thanks.
162
00:10:49,561 --> 00:10:54,412
Hey, I wanted to apologize
if I upset you yesterday.
163
00:10:54,436 --> 00:10:56,719
I'm just a stickler for
details, you know?
164
00:10:56,743 --> 00:10:58,068
Don't mention it.
165
00:10:58,092 --> 00:10:59,635
Yeah, I understand that
you true crime people,
166
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,637
you have to ask
a lot of questions.
167
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,987
I think that we should
keep an open mind,
168
00:11:04,011 --> 00:11:05,815
which is why I was thinking
169
00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:08,252
maybe we could do a
little investigating today.
170
00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:10,123
What kind of investigating?
171
00:11:10,147 --> 00:11:12,996
Look around the house
for any unmarked entrances,
172
00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:15,781
hidden doors,
overlooked crawlspaces.
173
00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:17,609
Maybe find where all
those bodies ended up?
174
00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:19,829
The police already did
an extensive search.
175
00:11:19,853 --> 00:11:22,483
Like, years ago,
and I bet back then
176
00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:25,486
they didn't have
stuff like this.
177
00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:31,318
Metal detector.
178
00:11:31,342 --> 00:11:35,279
Ultra-wide band radar scanners.
179
00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:36,957
Infrared camera.
180
00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:42,373
Now, who's ready
to find some bodies?
181
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,953
Look!
182
00:11:56,977 --> 00:11:58,848
Chemical stains.
183
00:12:12,079 --> 00:12:15,972
Grandmother's secret
stash of poisons.
184
00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:18,452
That's her stash
of poisons, all right.
185
00:12:18,476 --> 00:12:20,217
Gin.
186
00:12:23,525 --> 00:12:25,483
Brandy.
187
00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:34,338
- Are these iron walls?
- Like I said, all metal.
188
00:12:34,362 --> 00:12:39,846
You said steel.
189
00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:44,391
Any objection if
I open this wall?
190
00:12:44,415 --> 00:12:45,895
Be my guest.
191
00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:09,025
Looks like some kind of vault.
192
00:13:09,049 --> 00:13:12,811
My god.
193
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:15,161
This is it.
194
00:13:15,185 --> 00:13:17,579
Grandmother's corpse locker.
195
00:13:21,713 --> 00:13:23,866
You know how to open a safe?
196
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:26,433
Like I said, I love true crime.
197
00:13:26,457 --> 00:13:29,373
I just know this is where
grandmother hid the bodies.
198
00:13:35,553 --> 00:13:37,531
That should do it.
199
00:13:37,555 --> 00:13:39,882
Would you like to do
the honors, Pamela?
200
00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:01,555
Looks like Old Lady Spinster
201
00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:05,342
was just a spinster.
202
00:14:05,366 --> 00:14:07,561
No.
203
00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:10,042
No, she must've used
this sewing machine
204
00:14:10,066 --> 00:14:12,915
to sew and then wear
the flesh of her victims.
205
00:14:12,939 --> 00:14:15,526
I mean, there could be any
number of torture chambers
206
00:14:15,550 --> 00:14:17,571
or secret passages
in this house, or...
207
00:14:17,595 --> 00:14:19,791
- Just stop, okay? Stop it!
- -doors in this thing.
208
00:14:19,815 --> 00:14:21,097
Or wait, there could
be a latch or something!
209
00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:22,185
There can be...
210
00:14:22,209 --> 00:14:24,230
Face it, Pamela.
211
00:14:24,254 --> 00:14:26,842
Old Lady Spinster
never killed anyone.
212
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:29,148
- She was just crazy...
- I'm not crazy!
213
00:14:29,172 --> 00:14:31,237
She didn't call you
crazy, Pam, okay?
214
00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:32,586
Now stop it.
215
00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:34,719
Just because we
haven't found any bodies
216
00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:36,764
doesn't mean that
she didn't kill anyone.
217
00:14:36,788 --> 00:14:38,636
She was a homicidal genius!
218
00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:41,813
She was greater than
Wuornos! Greater than Bundy!
219
00:14:41,837 --> 00:14:44,337
You will see the Spinster
name will live forever!
220
00:14:47,234 --> 00:14:49,342
This place is a total scam.
221
00:14:49,366 --> 00:14:51,779
The owners are
complete whack jobs.
222
00:14:51,803 --> 00:14:54,913
One-star rating only
'cause I can't give it zero.
223
00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:58,090
Save the gas money and
avoid the Spinster Murder House.
224
00:14:58,114 --> 00:15:00,900
Trust me, I wouldn't
be caught dead here.
225
00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:09,473
Whatever, I'll stop
at a Starbucks.
226
00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:23,333
- You need to calm down.
- We need her to live document.
227
00:15:23,357 --> 00:15:25,988
You confronting her is
the last thing we need.
228
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:27,380
I can't believe it.
229
00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:29,121
She doesn't believe any of it.
230
00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:31,297
She's probably giving
us a bad review right now.
231
00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:32,820
Can you blame her?
232
00:15:32,844 --> 00:15:34,910
You're screaming and going
on like some crazy person.
233
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:38,783
Thank you, Old Lady Spinster.
234
00:15:38,807 --> 00:15:40,872
What is that supposed to mean?
235
00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:42,526
Let's hope you lead to an exit.
236
00:15:42,550 --> 00:15:43,919
The writing's on the wall.
237
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,311
We've been losing money
for the last three years!
238
00:15:45,335 --> 00:15:47,313
The roof leaks,
the plumbing's shot.
239
00:15:47,337 --> 00:15:50,186
- Well, thank you!
- Are you gonna fix it?
240
00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:52,623
Maybe we can get that
little brat to go along.
241
00:15:52,647 --> 00:15:54,016
How are you gonna do that?
242
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,714
Are you gonna threaten
her, or are you gonna pay her
243
00:15:56,738 --> 00:15:59,891
with all the money
we have? Let's face it,
244
00:15:59,915 --> 00:16:02,763
this whole macabre bed
and breakfast thing is doomed.
245
00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:04,896
And frankly, I'm happy that
grandma hasn't killed anybody
246
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:06,767
'cause now I don't
have to feel guilty over
247
00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:10,032
being a part of
some crazy family!
248
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:12,643
She wasn't crazy.
249
00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:16,821
This is our home,
Samuel, and I will die before
250
00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:18,954
I let that girl destroy
what we've built.
251
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,869
- You're scaring me.
- Good.
252
00:16:21,893 --> 00:16:25,830
Maybe that's just what
the little bitch needs,
253
00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:28,552
a good scare from an old ghost.
254
00:17:12,117 --> 00:17:15,053
Boy, sure is a good
thing I brought my mace!
255
00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:16,794
It's made with ghost peppers.
256
00:17:16,818 --> 00:17:18,361
You know, to keep
away the ghosts?
257
00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:19,796
What the hell is wrong with you?
258
00:17:19,820 --> 00:17:22,495
Pamela, is that you?
259
00:17:22,519 --> 00:17:24,106
I could've sworn
260
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,021
it was the ghost of
that crazy old lady.
261
00:17:27,523 --> 00:17:32,723
Really? Take a look at yourself.
262
00:17:32,747 --> 00:17:36,838
This isn't a murder
house. It's a crazy house.
263
00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:47,346
Are you recording this?
264
00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:50,045
- Stop it.
- No way.
265
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,524
This might be my
favorite shot of you.
266
00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:53,396
Give me that phone.
267
00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:55,876
Give me that phone!
Give me that phone!
268
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:57,878
You wanted people to
see Old Lady Spinster?
269
00:17:57,902 --> 00:17:59,228
- Shut up!
- So here she is!
270
00:17:59,252 --> 00:18:00,794
I'm looking right at her,
crazy Old Lady Spinster!
271
00:18:00,818 --> 00:18:03,623
Shut up! You want
a murder house?
272
00:18:08,609 --> 00:18:10,741
Are you out of
your fucking mind?
273
00:18:19,837 --> 00:18:22,468
You can't hide from me.
274
00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:24,233
This is my house.
275
00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:30,302
Beware!
276
00:18:30,326 --> 00:18:32,739
Pam?
277
00:18:39,422 --> 00:18:41,661
Where's the latch?
278
00:18:41,685 --> 00:18:45,100
I know it's here somewhere.
279
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,777
Yes!
280
00:18:58,441 --> 00:19:01,942
Hello, Mr. Modem.
281
00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:04,119
Okay.
282
00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:09,539
- Full signal.
- Let's do this.
283
00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:14,564
Help!
284
00:19:14,588 --> 00:19:17,044
I'm trapped in the
Spinster house!
285
00:19:24,989 --> 00:19:26,706
Somebody call 911!
286
00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:30,536
I'm at the Spinster
house! She's gonna kill me!
287
00:19:43,921 --> 00:19:45,116
Pam.
288
00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:46,683
Isn't this what you
always wanted?
289
00:19:46,707 --> 00:19:48,641
Please, please, I'm sorry, okay?
290
00:19:48,665 --> 00:19:50,643
Some real true
crime in your life?
291
00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:52,906
No!
292
00:20:34,668 --> 00:20:38,300
Sam? We have to
get the carpet cleaned.
293
00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:39,953
I think
294
00:20:39,977 --> 00:20:44,306
I think the hardware
store opens at six.
295
00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:47,831
Sam, I need your help.
296
00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:51,791
- Sam?
- I'm right here, sis.
297
00:20:51,815 --> 00:20:55,578
After all, maybe grandmother
didn't kill anybody,
298
00:20:55,602 --> 00:20:58,668
so we can still make
this a murder house!
299
00:21:14,621 --> 00:21:16,599
- Good afternoon.
- Spinster Murder-Suicide House.
300
00:21:16,623 --> 00:21:19,993
This is Sam. I am
so sorry, ma'am,
301
00:21:20,017 --> 00:21:23,867
but we have no
vacancies until next winter.
302
00:21:23,891 --> 00:21:27,349
That's correct. Thank you, sir.
303
00:21:27,373 --> 00:21:28,785
Well, if you sign up
304
00:21:28,809 --> 00:21:30,743
for our Spinster Murder-Suicide
House mailing list,
305
00:21:30,767 --> 00:21:32,223
you'll be one of
the first notified of
306
00:21:32,247 --> 00:21:35,095
any of our cancellations.
307
00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:36,919
And we look forward to
seeing you too, ma'am.
308
00:21:47,088 --> 00:21:51,155
Well, sis, I hate to admit
it, but you were right.
309
00:21:51,179 --> 00:21:53,897
There's definitely
a market for horror.
310
00:21:55,923 --> 00:21:57,030
No, no, no!
311
00:21:57,054 --> 00:21:58,641
Please don't kill
me, Miss Spinster!
312
00:22:03,713 --> 00:22:07,891
And now to join my
dear grandmother in hell.
313
00:22:48,236 --> 00:22:50,867
Granny really
was a serial killer!
314
00:22:54,155 --> 00:22:58,701
I'm gonna be rich!
315
00:23:40,636 --> 00:23:43,093
There's a new sheriff
in town, Mr. Bug,
316
00:23:43,117 --> 00:23:45,791
and his name's Harlan King.
317
00:23:45,815 --> 00:23:48,315
Requiestcat in
pace, Beetlejuice.
318
00:23:52,779 --> 00:23:55,888
Who's next? You
know what today is?
319
00:23:55,912 --> 00:23:58,413
It's eight-legged
Armageddon day.
320
00:23:58,437 --> 00:24:02,136
Well, now that's
really pretty, little lady.
321
00:24:04,878 --> 00:24:06,508
Time to die.
322
00:24:07,881 --> 00:24:10,250
Pretty shot to hell and gone.
323
00:24:10,274 --> 00:24:12,296
Pretty frickin' dead!
324
00:24:17,847 --> 00:24:18,998
Hello?
325
00:24:20,241 --> 00:24:21,348
King Pest Control?
326
00:24:24,550 --> 00:24:26,136
Shh.
327
00:24:27,204 --> 00:24:28,728
King Pest Control.
328
00:24:43,743 --> 00:24:45,938
"Step into my parlor,"
said the asshole spider
329
00:24:45,962 --> 00:24:48,245
to the terror-dominant fly.
330
00:24:48,269 --> 00:24:52,554
"Why, it's mass insecticide!"
331
00:24:52,578 --> 00:24:54,493
The King has arrived!
332
00:24:57,452 --> 00:25:01,563
Excuse me, Mr. King,
I'm with a patient, working,
333
00:25:01,587 --> 00:25:04,261
- as you're supposed to be.
- I'm done already.
334
00:25:04,285 --> 00:25:07,569
Stinkbugs, spiders,
moths, worms.
335
00:25:07,593 --> 00:25:10,659
Kaput. Just a couple of birds.
336
00:25:10,683 --> 00:25:13,052
Not many. I left
them on the porch.
337
00:25:13,076 --> 00:25:14,967
Please wait in the parlor.
338
00:25:14,991 --> 00:25:17,187
Well, first, I need
you to remit my fee
339
00:25:17,211 --> 00:25:20,146
as per our agreement,
which I believe came before
340
00:25:20,170 --> 00:25:21,670
this easy chair action?
341
00:25:21,694 --> 00:25:23,759
I'll be right with you.
342
00:25:23,783 --> 00:25:26,065
Sorry, I can't bring
all the creepy-crawlies
343
00:25:26,089 --> 00:25:28,590
back to life and kill
'em all over again.
344
00:25:28,614 --> 00:25:31,244
That's not how
that works, doctor.
345
00:25:31,268 --> 00:25:34,378
A little professional courtesy
would be nice, just sayin'.
346
00:25:42,715 --> 00:25:44,083
Now, you and me,
347
00:25:44,107 --> 00:25:45,650
we're kind of in the same
business, aren't we, doc?
348
00:25:45,674 --> 00:25:46,782
Help people eliminate
little problems.
349
00:25:46,806 --> 00:25:49,393
Please stop talking.
350
00:25:49,417 --> 00:25:51,264
Mr. King, I trust
this is the last time
351
00:25:51,288 --> 00:25:52,527
I will ever see you.
352
00:25:52,551 --> 00:25:55,181
Please feel free
to lose my number.
353
00:25:55,205 --> 00:25:56,574
Sure, no problem.
354
00:25:56,598 --> 00:26:02,145
Just, call me whenever
you want me back.
355
00:26:02,169 --> 00:26:05,627
What makes you think I
would ever want you back?
356
00:26:05,651 --> 00:26:08,717
'Cause there's only
one King, and I'm it, doc.
357
00:26:08,741 --> 00:26:12,634
They call back
always. You will too.
358
00:26:12,658 --> 00:26:14,529
Bye-bye.
359
00:26:21,797 --> 00:26:23,819
She doesn't know
who she's talking to.
360
00:26:23,843 --> 00:26:25,932
She doesn't know how
to deal with the public.
361
00:26:34,331 --> 00:26:37,093
"Lose my number!"
362
00:26:37,117 --> 00:26:39,293
Yeah, we'll see about that.
363
00:26:42,818 --> 00:26:44,385
You'll call back.
364
00:26:56,658 --> 00:27:01,770
Roaches check in,
but they don't check out.
365
00:27:03,360 --> 00:27:05,904
All right, you
guys know the drill.
366
00:27:05,928 --> 00:27:08,690
Be fruitful and multiply.
367
00:27:08,714 --> 00:27:10,822
The King has spoken.
368
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:21,877
Damn it.
369
00:27:21,901 --> 00:27:25,489
Is it East Willard or
West Willard Boulevard?
370
00:27:25,513 --> 00:27:29,188
No, no, no, no, shh.
371
00:27:29,212 --> 00:27:31,843
You're not gonna crap
out on me too, are you?
372
00:27:31,867 --> 00:27:34,324
Gonna be stranded
in this flooded toilet.
373
00:27:34,348 --> 00:27:38,154
Don't do it. Do not do it.
374
00:27:38,178 --> 00:27:40,460
Shh, come on.
375
00:27:56,631 --> 00:27:59,218
Well, that's great.
376
00:27:59,242 --> 00:28:02,787
Don't bother to have any
numbers on the buildings.
377
00:28:02,811 --> 00:28:07,033
Y'ello? King Pest Control!
378
00:28:09,470 --> 00:28:12,342
The King has arrived!
379
00:28:16,129 --> 00:28:19,761
Yo?
380
00:28:19,785 --> 00:28:24,050
King Pest Control?
You cry, bugs die.
381
00:28:28,141 --> 00:28:29,988
You got about 30 seconds before
382
00:28:30,012 --> 00:28:33,209
- I get out of here.
- Mr. King?
383
00:28:33,233 --> 00:28:35,777
- Yeah, that'd be me.
- Thank you for coming.
384
00:28:35,801 --> 00:28:41,260
My name is Murdoch. You
may call me Mr. Murdoch.
385
00:28:41,284 --> 00:28:43,828
I appreciate your time.
I already know that
386
00:28:43,852 --> 00:28:46,309
your services are
in great demand.
387
00:28:46,333 --> 00:28:50,879
- Yeah, right, yeah.
- There's only one King.
388
00:28:50,903 --> 00:28:54,099
Of course.
389
00:28:54,123 --> 00:28:55,622
So what's the problem?
390
00:28:55,646 --> 00:28:58,060
Do I gotta guess? Look,
I can handle anything
391
00:28:58,084 --> 00:29:01,367
from fleas to
alligator infestations.
392
00:29:01,391 --> 00:29:02,717
I have no doubt whatsoever
393
00:29:02,741 --> 00:29:04,980
as to your efficacy, Mr. King.
394
00:29:05,004 --> 00:29:09,419
You come very
highly recommended.
395
00:29:09,443 --> 00:29:11,769
Really? A referral? Who?
396
00:29:11,793 --> 00:29:14,032
Well, I'm not at
liberty to reveal that,
397
00:29:14,056 --> 00:29:18,167
but I do know that you come
from decades of experience,
398
00:29:18,191 --> 00:29:20,517
a family trade, in fact,
399
00:29:20,541 --> 00:29:23,650
handed down from your
uncle, currently incarcerated?
400
00:29:23,674 --> 00:29:25,391
Hey, what's that
gotta do with anything?
401
00:29:25,415 --> 00:29:28,960
Apologies.
402
00:29:28,984 --> 00:29:30,570
It's immaterial.
403
00:29:30,594 --> 00:29:34,270
It has no bearing at
all on our business.
404
00:29:34,294 --> 00:29:36,141
Tell me, Mr. King,
405
00:29:36,165 --> 00:29:39,362
would you enjoy owning
a new service van?
406
00:29:39,386 --> 00:29:41,712
- What do you mean?
- The one I got's okay.
407
00:29:41,736 --> 00:29:44,236
Well, I could hear you
coming from half a mile away.
408
00:29:44,260 --> 00:29:46,673
Listen, don't be upset.
409
00:29:46,697 --> 00:29:50,939
I believe that I could
be the solution of
410
00:29:50,963 --> 00:29:53,463
many such problems of yours,
411
00:29:53,487 --> 00:29:58,555
provided you help me
with problems of mine.
412
00:29:58,579 --> 00:30:00,992
Special drugs for special
bugs, Mr. Murdoch.
413
00:30:01,016 --> 00:30:04,430
- I make vermin die squirmin'.
- Quite.
414
00:30:04,454 --> 00:30:10,306
Well, permit me to
apprise you of my problem.
415
00:30:10,330 --> 00:30:15,528
My vermin problem.
416
00:30:15,552 --> 00:30:17,487
See, I have
417
00:30:17,511 --> 00:30:19,663
I've owned this property
for quite some time.
418
00:30:19,687 --> 00:30:21,404
In fact, I have
several just like it,
419
00:30:21,428 --> 00:30:26,104
and I'm poised to have
them all razed and refurbished
420
00:30:26,128 --> 00:30:28,541
into condominium complexes.
421
00:30:28,565 --> 00:30:31,675
If I'm satisfied
with your results,
422
00:30:31,699 --> 00:30:33,024
there could be a
great deal more work
423
00:30:33,048 --> 00:30:35,548
just like this for
you, full-time work.
424
00:30:36,922 --> 00:30:39,422
Well, twist my
arm, lead me to it.
425
00:30:39,446 --> 00:30:42,207
My problem is I can't
begin the renovations
426
00:30:42,231 --> 00:30:46,670
until my infestation
issue has been dealt with.
427
00:30:49,456 --> 00:30:51,458
Come take a look.
428
00:31:05,602 --> 00:31:08,843
- Easy-peasy.
- No mystery there.
429
00:31:08,867 --> 00:31:10,453
Rats are attracted
to the food waste
430
00:31:10,477 --> 00:31:11,889
these vagrants
leave lying around,
431
00:31:11,913 --> 00:31:17,634
plus fetid garbage,
plus human waste.
432
00:31:17,658 --> 00:31:20,071
I got just the cocktail.
433
00:31:20,095 --> 00:31:22,552
Nitrobenzene plus
brotophyllocum.
434
00:31:22,576 --> 00:31:25,555
Vitamin K antagonist
anticoagulant.
435
00:31:25,579 --> 00:31:26,991
Kills rats dead.
436
00:31:27,015 --> 00:31:30,995
Hell, it'll kill
rabbits, possums.
437
00:31:31,019 --> 00:31:32,518
Just about anything.
438
00:31:33,979 --> 00:31:38,089
I didn't say anything
about rats, Mr. King.
439
00:31:38,113 --> 00:31:43,181
You did mention something
about human waste?
440
00:31:43,205 --> 00:31:46,208
Well, there you go.
441
00:31:51,257 --> 00:31:55,019
I've tried every conventional
method of removing them.
442
00:31:55,043 --> 00:31:57,848
The city officials
have been no help.
443
00:31:57,872 --> 00:32:00,807
The civil authorities claim
it's not their responsibility.
444
00:32:00,831 --> 00:32:04,376
I've had the police
remove them several times.
445
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:06,185
I've run out of options.
446
00:32:08,317 --> 00:32:11,775
You want me to get
rid of these people?
447
00:32:11,799 --> 00:32:15,585
I want you to resolve
my vermin issue.
448
00:32:17,979 --> 00:32:21,263
Do you know what they
cook in those kettles?
449
00:32:21,287 --> 00:32:25,006
Animals! Stray dogs and cats.
450
00:32:25,030 --> 00:32:28,207
I shudder to think what
else they might be cooking.
451
00:32:30,557 --> 00:32:31,838
You know what,
452
00:32:31,862 --> 00:32:34,319
I don't do murder for
hire. I'm outta here.
453
00:32:34,343 --> 00:32:38,019
- That's all you do, Mr. King!
- Who do you think you're kidding?
454
00:32:38,043 --> 00:32:39,455
No, no, no, no!
455
00:32:39,479 --> 00:32:42,588
This is not the same
as anything that I do!
456
00:32:42,612 --> 00:32:46,877
Of course it is! Here.
457
00:32:49,271 --> 00:32:52,971
Look before you
leave, as they say.
458
00:32:57,976 --> 00:32:59,673
Now that is a lot of money.
459
00:33:03,155 --> 00:33:07,004
Surely one of your
special chemical cocktails
460
00:33:07,028 --> 00:33:10,965
will do the trick. Drugs
for bugs, as you say.
461
00:33:10,989 --> 00:33:16,037
After all, you are the King.
462
00:33:18,083 --> 00:33:21,410
Aren't you?
463
00:33:21,434 --> 00:33:23,610
All hail the King.
464
00:33:28,006 --> 00:33:31,507
Okay, okay, maybe just one.
465
00:33:31,531 --> 00:33:35,815
I-I-I could... I mean,
I could do one.
466
00:34:41,992 --> 00:34:43,709
It ain't worth it.
467
00:34:53,221 --> 00:34:54,720
Now wait a minute. Sir?
468
00:34:54,744 --> 00:34:56,461
Sir?
469
00:36:13,519 --> 00:36:14,757
Damn it.
470
00:36:14,781 --> 00:36:16,976
How dare you, you
frickin' little monster?
471
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:22,678
In my house? My house?
472
00:36:22,702 --> 00:36:25,183
Gotta give you
credit for some balls.
473
00:36:57,606 --> 00:37:01,717
A for effort, Mr. King.
474
00:37:01,741 --> 00:37:04,285
Unfortunately, you lost
your nerve, didn't you?
475
00:37:04,309 --> 00:37:07,549
Is that Murdoch?
476
00:37:07,573 --> 00:37:10,378
That means you're
not the King, doesn't it?
477
00:37:10,402 --> 00:37:12,467
No, no, no, what are you doing?
478
00:37:12,491 --> 00:37:14,425
And one more thing.
479
00:37:20,847 --> 00:37:23,956
Now you really are King.
480
00:37:27,070 --> 00:37:29,135
The crap is it now?
481
00:38:40,535 --> 00:38:43,340
They must've ate it all.
482
00:38:43,364 --> 00:38:46,430
The soup, the poison,
every one of 'em.
483
00:38:53,505 --> 00:38:55,874
You've reached
Murdoch Ventures Limited.
484
00:38:55,898 --> 00:38:59,182
Please leave a succinct...
485
00:38:59,206 --> 00:39:00,401
The hell with you too,
486
00:39:00,425 --> 00:39:02,141
you one-percent shitbag.
487
00:39:32,500 --> 00:39:36,437
God. See, come on.
488
00:39:45,121 --> 00:39:46,577
God!
489
00:39:53,478 --> 00:39:56,021
Holy shit!
490
00:40:23,029 --> 00:40:26,487
Damn it, leave
me the hell alone!
491
00:40:50,448 --> 00:40:52,048
- We're sorry.
- The number you dialed...
492
00:40:53,059 --> 00:40:56,062
Shit! Shit!
493
00:41:13,558 --> 00:41:15,560
What the hell?
494
00:42:07,089 --> 00:42:08,700
Mr. King.
495
00:42:11,964 --> 00:42:14,116
Mr. King.
496
00:42:14,140 --> 00:42:16,074
Can you hear me?
497
00:42:16,098 --> 00:42:17,839
What are you doing here?
498
00:42:23,279 --> 00:42:26,520
I need your help. I
mean, I need to talk to you.
499
00:42:26,544 --> 00:42:27,999
You're hurt. I called
an ambulance.
500
00:42:28,023 --> 00:42:31,307
No! No ambulance, please.
501
00:42:31,331 --> 00:42:33,178
You said you listen to people
502
00:42:33,202 --> 00:42:34,789
and you help them
with their problems.
503
00:42:34,813 --> 00:42:36,878
Yes, but you obviously
need medical attention.
504
00:42:36,902 --> 00:42:38,314
I'm not equipped.
505
00:42:38,338 --> 00:42:43,493
No, no, no, no, no,
please, I've done something!
506
00:42:43,517 --> 00:42:46,104
I've done something
bad and I need your help!
507
00:42:46,128 --> 00:42:48,629
You have to help me!
508
00:42:48,653 --> 00:42:51,307
- Okay.
- Okay.
509
00:42:59,533 --> 00:43:02,425
What's going on.
510
00:43:02,449 --> 00:43:04,122
I don't know why I said yes.
511
00:43:04,146 --> 00:43:06,255
I was gonna say no,
but then I saw the guy
512
00:43:06,279 --> 00:43:08,300
with the briefcase
and I was like,
513
00:43:08,324 --> 00:43:09,824
and I thought all that dough
could solve all my problems
514
00:43:09,848 --> 00:43:11,521
- and...
- Mr. King,
515
00:43:11,545 --> 00:43:12,609
you need to slow down.
516
00:43:12,633 --> 00:43:14,263
Take a breath.
517
00:43:14,287 --> 00:43:17,440
Now tell me, what
did he want you to do?
518
00:43:17,464 --> 00:43:20,051
"Do what you do best."
That's what he said.
519
00:43:20,075 --> 00:43:21,487
"Now they're
practically dead already.
520
00:43:21,511 --> 00:43:24,142
They eat dogs and cats
and maybe even people."
521
00:43:24,166 --> 00:43:26,449
Who is it that said this to you?
522
00:43:34,873 --> 00:43:37,634
The devil.
523
00:43:37,658 --> 00:43:40,419
The man who showed
up in your bedroom
524
00:43:40,443 --> 00:43:43,422
in the middle of
the night in a dream
525
00:43:43,446 --> 00:43:46,556
and now cannot be
found, according to you.
526
00:43:46,580 --> 00:43:48,819
I dropped it into the soup,
the strongest cocktail I got.
527
00:43:48,843 --> 00:43:51,866
I spent years developing it.
528
00:43:51,890 --> 00:43:53,737
It's a joke. It's my joke.
529
00:43:53,761 --> 00:43:56,305
It's, um, kind of a...
what do you call it?
530
00:43:56,329 --> 00:43:57,872
A mixologist of the trade,
531
00:43:57,896 --> 00:43:59,743
the right drug
for the right bug?
532
00:43:59,767 --> 00:44:03,355
Nitrobenzene,
brotophyllocum, pyrethroids?
533
00:44:03,379 --> 00:44:05,575
They tried to ban it, but if
you know the ingredients,
534
00:44:05,599 --> 00:44:07,011
you can roll your own.
535
00:44:07,035 --> 00:44:08,709
That all sounds
wonderful, Mr. King.
536
00:44:08,733 --> 00:44:12,669
I'm sure you're very
good at what you do.
537
00:44:12,693 --> 00:44:14,105
I know what you're thinking.
538
00:44:14,129 --> 00:44:15,454
You're thinking
I've got some kind of
539
00:44:15,478 --> 00:44:17,674
overblown guilt complex!
540
00:44:17,698 --> 00:44:21,243
Well, I'm beginning to
think you need a cocktail too!
541
00:44:21,267 --> 00:44:23,462
Bottoms up, doc!
542
00:44:27,055 --> 00:44:31,079
Guilt can be a powerful drug,
543
00:44:31,103 --> 00:44:34,256
but so is sleep deprivation.
544
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:38,129
You haven't had any sleep
in a long time, have you?
545
00:44:38,153 --> 00:44:40,218
No.
546
00:44:40,242 --> 00:44:42,481
How could I?
547
00:44:42,505 --> 00:44:44,440
They come even when I'm asleep.
548
00:44:44,464 --> 00:44:46,398
I see.
549
00:44:46,422 --> 00:44:51,752
I think you need to sit
back, close your eyes,
550
00:44:51,776 --> 00:44:55,581
and maybe take a nap.
551
00:44:55,605 --> 00:44:59,063
I can fetch you some
warm herbal tea,
552
00:44:59,087 --> 00:45:01,370
if you think
553
00:45:01,394 --> 00:45:05,156
that might help.
554
00:45:10,708 --> 00:45:13,817
I've got a roach problem now,
555
00:45:13,841 --> 00:45:16,801
and I think I know why.
556
00:45:57,450 --> 00:45:59,254
No.
557
00:45:59,278 --> 00:46:02,561
No, no, no!
558
00:46:02,585 --> 00:46:06,522
No, no.
559
00:46:06,546 --> 00:46:09,743
- Great.
- Hey, doctor?
560
00:46:09,767 --> 00:46:13,311
Doctor, help? Doctor,
help me, please!
561
00:46:13,335 --> 00:46:15,661
Please help me! Please,
it's me, Harlan King!
562
00:46:15,685 --> 00:46:17,576
You said you'd help!
563
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:19,080
Damn roaches.
564
00:46:22,736 --> 00:46:25,628
Doc? Doctor? Doc?
565
00:46:25,652 --> 00:46:28,805
It's me, Harlan!
Is that the drug?
566
00:46:28,829 --> 00:46:30,633
What are you doing?
You said you'd help!
567
00:46:30,657 --> 00:46:32,678
No, no, doctor, please, it's me!
568
00:46:32,702 --> 00:46:35,638
It's me, please! Help me!
569
00:46:35,662 --> 00:46:39,555
Please, help me! What
are you doing, it's Harlan!
570
00:46:39,579 --> 00:46:42,036
Please, no, no, no, no, no!
571
00:46:42,060 --> 00:46:44,125
No, it's me! It's me!
572
00:46:44,149 --> 00:46:47,345
- Damn it.
- No, please! Please!
573
00:46:47,369 --> 00:46:50,087
No!
574
00:46:58,990 --> 00:47:01,882
Coming.
575
00:47:01,906 --> 00:47:06,190
Hello, doctor. Bug problem?
41424
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