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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:53,052 ♪ Yeah ♪ 2 00:00:53,137 --> 00:00:55,471 ♪ Yes ♪ 3 00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,807 ♪ Yes ♪ 4 00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:01,144 ♪ Yes ♪ 5 00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:05,773 ♪ Yes ♪ 6 00:01:05,858 --> 00:01:07,316 ♪ Yes ♪ 7 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:10,319 ♪ Yes ♪ 8 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:13,614 ♪ Yes ♪ 9 00:01:13,699 --> 00:01:18,244 ♪ Yes ♪ 10 00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:22,248 ♪ Yes ♪ 11 00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:27,503 ♪ Yeah ♪ 12 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,756 ♪ Yeah ♪ 13 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:32,300 I believe in the church of baseball. 14 00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:35,845 I've tried all the major religions and most of the minor ones. 15 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:39,098 I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, 16 00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:42,518 Shiva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. 17 00:01:43,395 --> 00:01:44,812 I know things. 18 00:01:44,897 --> 00:01:47,982 For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary, 19 00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:51,319 and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. 20 00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:53,821 When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance. 21 00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:57,366 But it just didn't work out between us. 22 00:01:57,451 --> 00:02:00,328 The Lord laid too much guilt on me. 23 00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:03,164 I prefer metaphysics to theology. 24 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:06,959 You see, there's no guilt in baseball, and it's never boring. 25 00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:09,128 Which makes it like sex. 26 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:14,425 There's never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn't have the best year of his career. 27 00:02:15,928 --> 00:02:18,221 Making love is like hitting a baseball. 28 00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,681 You just gotta relax and concentrate. 29 00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:25,186 Besides, I'd never sleep with a player hitting under .250, 30 00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:28,689 unless he had a lot of RBIs or was a great glove man up the middle. 31 00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:35,696 You see, there's a certain amount of life wisdom I give these boys. 32 00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:37,782 I can expand their minds. 33 00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:39,826 Sometimes when I've got a ballplayer alone, 34 00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:43,496 I'll just read Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman to him. 35 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:46,165 And the guys are so sweet. They always stay and listen. 36 00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:50,044 Of course, a guy'll listen to anything if he thinks it's foreplay. 37 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,756 I make them feel confident, 38 00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:56,217 and they make me feel safe. 39 00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:57,718 And pretty. 40 00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:01,180 Of course, what I give them lasts a lifetime. 41 00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:04,392 What they give me lasts 142 games. 42 00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:07,603 Sometimes it seems like a bad trade, 43 00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,772 but bad trades are part of baseball. 44 00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:13,860 I mean, who can forget Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas, for God's sake? 45 00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:17,113 It's a long season, and you gotta trust it. 46 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,282 I've tried them all, I really have, 47 00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:23,536 and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, 48 00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,997 is the church of baseball. 49 00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:28,958 ♪ One, two, three o'clock Four o'clock rock ♪ 50 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,669 ♪ Five, six, seven o'clock Eight o'clock rock ♪ 51 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:33,796 ♪ Nine, ten, eleven o'clock Twelve o'clock rock ♪ 52 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:36,549 ♪ We're gonna rock Around the clock tonight ♪ 53 00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:39,468 ♪ Put your glad rags on Join me, hon ♪ 54 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,804 ♪ We'll have some fun When the clock strikes one ♪ 55 00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:44,307 ♪ We're gonna rock Around the clock tonight ♪ 56 00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:47,226 ♪ We're gonna rock, rock, rock Till broad daylight ♪ 57 00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:51,230 ♪ We're gonna rock We're gonna rock around the clock tonight ♪ 58 00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:52,481 Whoops! 59 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:55,568 ♪ When the clock strikes Two, three, and four ♪ 60 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:57,653 ♪ If the band slows down We'll yell for more ♪ 61 00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:00,323 ♪ We're gonna rock Around the clock tonight ♪ 62 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:03,910 Hey, Skip, that Max is a hell of a guy. 63 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:06,787 Where's Ebby? 64 00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:09,790 -Ain't he warming up yet? -No. 65 00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:12,585 His professional debut tonight, and he forgets about it. 66 00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:15,504 Better find our bonus baby, eh? 67 00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:16,631 You seen Ebby? 68 00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:18,341 Nope. 69 00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:28,434 Ebby! 70 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:30,478 Oww! 71 00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:32,146 Jesus. 72 00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:36,317 Game starts in four minutes. Why ain't you warm? 73 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,194 -I am warm. -Jesus, Ebby! 74 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,738 This is your professional debut tonight. 75 00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:43,908 Million guys give their left nut to be in your shoes, 76 00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:46,911 and you're leaving your fastball in the locker room for some piece of ass! 77 00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:48,329 Skip! 78 00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:53,376 It is me. I am not some quote-piece of ass-unquote. 79 00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:56,253 Oh. Millie. 80 00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:57,755 Geez. Sorry. 81 00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,548 Didn't recognize you. 82 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,968 Uh, don't take this personal, Millie, 83 00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:05,304 but if I catch you in here again, you're banned from the ballpark. 84 00:05:05,389 --> 00:05:09,475 You can't ban me from the ballpark 'cause my daddy donated that scoreboard, 85 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:12,812 and if you ban me he just might take that scoreboard away. 86 00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:15,189 Well, what do we need a scoreboard for? 87 00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:17,441 We ain't scored any runs all year. 88 00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:19,819 Now, you get your ass out there! 89 00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,529 Hey, boss, I got a question. 90 00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,280 What? 91 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:25,658 Do you think I need a nickname? I think I need a nickname. 92 00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:28,327 We were talking about it. All the great ones have nicknames. 93 00:05:28,412 --> 00:05:30,579 Like Oil Can, Catfish – What was the one you were – 94 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:33,457 -Pokey. -Yeah. What do you think of Pokey? 95 00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:34,959 You got three minutes. 96 00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:38,921 Goddamn son-of-a-bitchin' motherfuckin' shithead! 97 00:05:39,715 --> 00:05:42,049 -Time for another quickie. -Jesus. 98 00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:44,468 You got a game to pitch. 99 00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,470 We got three minutes. 100 00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,607 Come on, folks. 101 00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:02,611 Let's hear it for Max Patkin, the clown prince of baseball. 102 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,071 Let's go! Come on! 103 00:06:04,156 --> 00:06:07,074 And now, the greatest show on dirt, 104 00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:09,702 your own Durham Bulls! 105 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,625 I'm there. 106 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,002 I'm ready. 107 00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:26,844 And now, WRDU Radio presents the voice of the Durham Bulls, Teddy Garland. 108 00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:29,847 The Bulls are off to a slow start, having dropped their first three games, 109 00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:32,558 but hope to turn it around tonight with the professional debut 110 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:35,227 of heralded young pitcher Ebby Calvin LaLoosh. 111 00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:37,480 Let's play ball! Play ball! 112 00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:42,651 Millie, you gotta stay out of the clubhouse. You're gonna get everybody in trouble. 113 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,320 I got lured. 114 00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:48,699 You did not get lured. Women do not get lured. They are too strong and powerful for that. 115 00:06:48,784 --> 00:06:52,495 Now say it. "I did not get lured. I accept full responsibility for my actions." 116 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:55,748 I did not get lured. I accept full responsibility for my actions. 117 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:59,085 That's better. Okay. Now, you got your radar ready? 118 00:06:59,795 --> 00:07:01,587 -Ready. -Go to it. 119 00:07:03,173 --> 00:07:06,842 Stepping in for the Peninsula White Sox is lead-off hitter Willie Foster. 120 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:10,304 The word on LaLoosh here is that the good-lookin' young pitcher has a major-league fastball, 121 00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:12,848 but sometimes has problems with his control. 122 00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:28,823 Oh, my – Damn! 123 00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:32,409 One ball, no strikes to Willie Foster. 124 00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:35,788 That's right, kid! Come on! If you can't strike him out, just kill him! 125 00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:37,873 - Come on! - Here we go! Settle down! 126 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:41,669 No problem, Ebby, no problem! Go get him! One-two-three, babe! Go get 'em, big guy! 127 00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:45,131 Ninety-five miles an hour. 128 00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:48,175 Why, that's great. He looks just great. 129 00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:56,058 Take your base, man! 130 00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:59,228 Stepping in for the Peninsula White Sox, 131 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,313 second baseman Allen Powley. 132 00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:02,731 What's it say? 133 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:07,444 It says he's not bending his back on his follow-through. 134 00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:09,155 Scotty! 135 00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:11,198 Baby, take this to Ebby Calvin. 136 00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:16,078 All right, honey, let's get down to it. How was Ebby Calvin LaLoosh? 137 00:08:16,872 --> 00:08:21,959 Well, he fucks like he pitches – sorta all over the place. 138 00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:25,087 ♪ One, two, three o'clock Four o'clock rock ♪ 139 00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:27,506 ♪ Five, six, seven o'clock Eight o'clock rock ♪ 140 00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:29,967 ♪ Nine, ten, eleven o'clock Twelve o'clock rock ♪ 141 00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:32,887 ♪ We're gonna rock Around the clock tonight ♪ 142 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:35,556 ♪ Put your glad rags on Join me, hon ♪ 143 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,933 ♪ We'll have some fun When the clock strikes one ♪ 144 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,477 ♪ We're gonna rock Around the clock tonight ♪ 145 00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:43,105 ♪ We're gonna rock, rock, rock Till broad daylight ♪ 146 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:46,108 ♪ We're gonna rock, we're gonna rock Around the clock tonight ♪ 147 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,028 My! 148 00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:52,948 Ow! 149 00:08:58,163 --> 00:08:59,955 He walked 18. 150 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,832 New league record. 151 00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:06,295 -Struck out 18. -Another new league record. 152 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,589 In addition, he hit the sportswriter, 153 00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:11,383 the public address announcer, the Bull mascot twice. 154 00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:14,094 Also new league records. 155 00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:17,973 But, Joe. . . 156 00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:21,810 this guy's got some serious shit. 157 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,812 -Yeah. Yeah. -Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 158 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,148 Serious shit, yes. 159 00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,781 Who are you? Who's he? 160 00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:36,367 I'm the player to be named later. 161 00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:39,578 Crash Davis? I'm Joe Riggins. 162 00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:43,207 And you, Larry Hockett, should recognize me 163 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:45,876 'cause five years ago in the Texas League, 164 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,380 you were pitching for El Paso, I was hitting cleanup for Shreveport. 165 00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:53,717 You hung a curveball on an 0-2 pitch in a 3-2 game in the bottom of the eighth, 166 00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:56,971 and I tattooed it. . . 167 00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:59,765 over the Michelin Tire sign and beat you 4-3. 168 00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:03,435 I remember. I shoulda throwed a slider. Damn, Crash, how you doing, man? 169 00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:06,689 I'm too old for this shit. 170 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:09,108 Why the hell am I back in "A" ball? 171 00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:12,111 'Cause of Ebby Calvin LaLoosh. 172 00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:14,571 Big club's got a hundred grand in him. 173 00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:17,157 He's got a million-dollar arm, but a five-cent head. 174 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,910 Had a gun on him tonight. 175 00:10:19,995 --> 00:10:22,955 The last five pitches he threw were faster than the first five. 176 00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:27,001 He's got the best young arm I've seen in 30 years. 177 00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:31,171 You've been around. You're smart. You're a professional. 178 00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,174 We want you to mature the kid. 179 00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:37,136 We want you to room with him on the road, 180 00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:39,555 stay on his case all year. 181 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,266 - He can go all the way. - Yeah? 182 00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:44,310 Where can I go? 183 00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:47,688 You can keep going to the ballpark and keep gettin' paid to do it. 184 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:52,318 -Beats the hell out of working at Sears. -Sears sucks, Crash. 185 00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:55,321 Boy, I once worked there. I sold Lady Kenmores. 186 00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:56,905 Nasty. Ooh, nasty work. 187 00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:01,869 And even if it is the Carolina League, this is a chance to play every day. 188 00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:04,204 You don't want a player. You want a stable pony. 189 00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,164 No. 190 00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:07,124 While my triple-A contract gets bought out 191 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,668 so I can hold the Flavor-of-the-Month's dick in the bus leagues. 192 00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:12,796 Is that it? Well, fuck this fucking game! 193 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,515 I fucking quit. 194 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,434 All right? I quit. 195 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,038 -Who do we play tomorrow? -Winston-Salem. 196 00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,582 Batting practice 11 :30. 197 00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:54,922 So how's it feel to get your first professional win? 198 00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:58,467 It feels out there. Um, it's a major rush. 199 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,970 I mean it doesn't just feel out there. It feels out there. You know? 200 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:05,432 Um, it's kinda radical in a kind of tubular way. You know? 201 00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:07,518 But most of all, it's out there. 202 00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:08,977 This is hopeless. 203 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,522 This is utterly fucking hopeless. 204 00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:15,234 ♪ Only a memory ♪ 205 00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:19,613 ♪ Of what our love was going to be ♪ 206 00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:22,699 ♪ Only a memory ♪ 207 00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:24,701 ♪ Now that we are history ♪ 208 00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:26,203 Hey. I'm Millie. 209 00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:30,457 -I'm Tony. I play second base. -I know. 210 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:35,462 Max, how do you just keep coming back every year? 211 00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:38,882 Because I love the game, Annie. I love it. 212 00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:41,051 -Here you go. -We didn't order these, honey. 213 00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:43,011 -He did. -Who? 214 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,513 The guy in the booth. 215 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:49,685 Who's that? 216 00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:52,229 That's Crash Davis. 217 00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:54,148 Hey, Crash, come here. 218 00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:55,816 Come over here. 219 00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:59,027 He's kinda cute. 220 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,989 He's played in more ballparks than I have. 221 00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:03,574 Hell of a guy. 222 00:13:03,658 --> 00:13:05,492 You know, he's really different. 223 00:13:05,577 --> 00:13:08,829 I actually saw him read a book without pictures once. 224 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,292 -Hi, Max. -How you doing, Crash? 225 00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:16,170 Come on over and sit down. 226 00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:18,672 I'm Crash. 227 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:20,924 Annie Savoy. 228 00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:23,469 -Wanna dance? -I don't dance. 229 00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:25,012 How embarrassin'. 230 00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:28,015 ♪ Born to be bad ♪ 231 00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:31,101 - Really? - What is that? 232 00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:34,730 ♪ Born to be bad ♪ 233 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,941 ♪ Now, when I reached 21 I knew the time had come ♪ 234 00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:40,444 ♪ I had that old ramblin' itch ♪ 235 00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:43,864 ♪ They're glad to see me go 'Cause the little girls should know ♪ 236 00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,949 Who's he dancing with? 237 00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:48,035 All of them, I think. 238 00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:51,330 ♪ Get away The ones that didn't ain't around today ♪ 239 00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:54,416 ♪ The sweetest piece of lovin' Any girl ever had ♪ 240 00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:57,878 ♪ Leave it to me, boys I was born to be bad ♪ 241 00:13:57,962 --> 00:14:01,048 ♪ Oh, born to be bad ♪ 242 00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:03,842 -You Annie Savoy? -Uh-huh. 243 00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:06,094 Thanks for your note. You're right. I wasn't bending my back. 244 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:08,889 -You got a live arm there. -Thanks. 245 00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:12,017 Uh, Ebby Calvin LaLoosh. 246 00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:13,769 You need a nickname, honey. 247 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,854 You know, I've been telling everybody that. 248 00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:19,650 -You want to dance? -Yeah. 249 00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:21,568 She's, uh, dancing with me. 250 00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:23,820 Afraid not, pal. 251 00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:26,698 You boys gonna fight over little ol' me? 252 00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:29,201 ♪ Born to be bad ♪ 253 00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:31,620 -No. -Let's go. 254 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:33,664 Let's step outside and party, man. 255 00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:39,002 Oh, don't be such guys. 256 00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:41,755 -Come on, Max. Let's dance. -Oh, sure. 257 00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:47,344 ♪ If you want some lovin', yeah ♪ 258 00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:49,096 ♪ That I'll give to you ♪ 259 00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:51,473 You coming or not, homeboy? 260 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:55,561 ♪ If you want some huggin', baby ♪ 261 00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:57,854 ♪ I can hug some too ♪ 262 00:14:57,939 --> 00:14:59,439 ♪ Yes, yes, uh-huh ♪ 263 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:04,403 ♪ Wow! All I want, baby, is some ♪ 264 00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:07,531 Let's go, man, let's go! Come on, we're waiting! 265 00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:10,534 - Let's go, homeboy! - Come on, Ebby. There he is. 266 00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,869 -Send him back up. -Yeah! 267 00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:16,665 ♪ Yes, yes, me too ♪ 268 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:19,042 ♪ 'Cause you know you're my kind ♪ 269 00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:22,170 Look, I don't believe in fighting. All right? Let's just – 270 00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,923 Whoo! 271 00:15:25,008 --> 00:15:26,925 That's really sweet. I don't believe – 272 00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:28,343 Fuck you, you pussy. 273 00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:34,474 All right. Take the first shot at me. 274 00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:37,019 No way, man. I don't hit no man first. 275 00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:42,316 All right, then. 276 00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:47,988 Hit me in the chest with that. 277 00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:50,616 -Fastball. -I'd kill you. 278 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:55,412 Yeah? From what I hear, you couldn't hit water if you fell out of a fuckin' boat. 279 00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:58,498 Ow! 280 00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:01,376 Throw it, man. 281 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:04,254 Throw it. Come on. Right in the chest. 282 00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:06,673 -No way. -Come on, Meat. 283 00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:10,802 You're not gonna hit me 'cause you're startin' to think about it already. Huh? 284 00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:14,306 Startin' to think how embarrassing it would be to miss in front of all these people, 285 00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:16,058 how somebody might laugh. 286 00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:20,896 Come on, rook. Show us that million-dollar arm. 'Cause I got a – 287 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:24,566 Well, I got a good idea about that five-cent head of yours. 288 00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,318 -Nail him, man. -Drop him. 289 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:31,990 Fuck! 290 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,327 Ball four. 291 00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,746 Who the fuck are you, man? 292 00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:43,251 ♪ Oh, what a thrill, yeah ♪ 293 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:44,836 Good punch. 294 00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:48,840 I'm Crash Davis, I'm your new catcher, and you just got lesson number one. 295 00:16:50,051 --> 00:16:53,136 Don't think. It can only hurt the ball club. 296 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:02,354 Wanna come inside, I'll buy you a drink. 297 00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:05,691 No problem. 298 00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:10,946 He's my new catcher. 299 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,197 ♪ Yes, yes ♪ 300 00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:17,703 ♪ Don't you know you got time ♪ 301 00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:21,206 ♪ And I want you to be mine, whoa ♪ 302 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:22,624 ♪ I idolize you ♪ 303 00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:25,043 We fight, she gets the clown. How's that happen? 304 00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:27,421 -♪ Yes, I idolize you ♪ -God, I like this song. 305 00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:28,964 ♪ Let me idolize you ♪ 306 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,924 All right! 307 00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:33,301 ♪ Let me idolize you ♪ 308 00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:37,305 ♪ Let me idolize you ♪ 309 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,766 Hey, Max! Come over here! 310 00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:41,601 You boys stop fighting? 311 00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:44,479 Pals now? 312 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,690 That's good. 313 00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:49,985 I love a little macho male bonding. 314 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,070 I think it's sweet. I do. 315 00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:54,906 Even if it probably is latent homosexuality being rechanneled. 316 00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:57,451 I'm all for rechanneling. So who cares, right? 317 00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:02,706 Mmm. 318 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:05,250 Okay, shall we go to my place? 319 00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,462 Which one of us? 320 00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:11,131 Well, both of you, of course. 321 00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:49,211 These are the ground rules. 322 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,921 I hook up with one guy a season. 323 00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:53,715 Usually takes me a couple of weeks to pick the guy. 324 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,717 Kinda my own spring training. 325 00:18:55,802 --> 00:19:01,097 And, well, you two are the most promising prospects of the season so far. 326 00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:03,934 So I just thought we should kinda get to know each other. 327 00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:06,436 Time out. 328 00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:08,396 Why do you get to choose? 329 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,774 -What? -Why do you get to choose? 330 00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:13,819 I mean, why don't I get to choose? Why doesn't he get to choose? 331 00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:18,156 Well, actually, nobody on this planet ever really chooses each other. 332 00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:22,202 I mean, it's all a question of quantum physics, molecular attraction, and timing. 333 00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:25,330 There are laws we don't understand that bring us together and tear us apart. 334 00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:28,583 It's like pheromones. 335 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:31,628 You get three ants together, they can't do dick. 336 00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:35,048 You get 300 million of them, they can build a cathedral. 337 00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:40,512 So, is somebody gonna to go to bed with somebody or what? 338 00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:44,766 Honey, you are a regular nuclear meltdown. You better cool off. 339 00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:48,812 Well, where are you going? 340 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:53,191 After 12 years in the minor leagues, I don't try out. 341 00:19:53,276 --> 00:19:58,154 Besides, uh, I don't believe in quantum physics when it comes to matters of the heart. 342 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,449 What do you believe in then? 343 00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:04,244 Well, I believe in the soul, 344 00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:07,080 the cock, the pussy, 345 00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:09,165 the small of a woman's back, 346 00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:11,960 the hanging curveball, high fiber, good Scotch, 347 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:15,547 that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. 348 00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:17,674 I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. 349 00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:20,093 I believe there oughta be a constitutional amendment 350 00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:22,387 outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. 351 00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:25,432 I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, 352 00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:28,143 opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, 353 00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:32,731 and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. 354 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:36,818 Good night. 355 00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,445 Oh, my. 356 00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:40,447 Crash. 357 00:20:40,531 --> 00:20:43,116 Hey, Annie, what's all this molecule stuff? 358 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:45,076 Crash. 359 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:46,870 Crash, wait. 360 00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:50,832 Look, alls I want is a date. I'm not gonna fall in love with you or nothin'. 361 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:54,544 I'm not interested in a woman who's interested in. . . that boy. 362 00:20:54,629 --> 00:20:55,712 Good night. 363 00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:58,173 -Well, I'm not interested yet. -Who you calling a boy? 364 00:20:58,257 --> 00:20:59,883 See you at the yard, Meat. 365 00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:03,553 Damn. Nobody's ever said no to a date with me before. 366 00:21:03,638 --> 00:21:05,680 He's crazy. 367 00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,265 I want you bad. 368 00:21:15,483 --> 00:21:17,817 Honey, hold on. Slow down. 369 00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:21,613 I want to watch. 370 00:21:24,659 --> 00:21:26,409 Go ahead. Put it back on. 371 00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:30,080 Jesus. What kind of chick are you? 372 00:21:31,749 --> 00:21:34,501 When you know how to make love, then you'll know how to pitch. 373 00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:37,879 I know how to pitch. 374 00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:40,548 Good. 375 00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:43,718 Now take it off. . . slowly. 376 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:49,057 ♪ Je vois la vie en rose ♪ 377 00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:53,186 ♪ Il me dit des mots d'amour ♪ 378 00:21:56,357 --> 00:21:57,857 That's nice. 379 00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:03,405 ♪ Il est entré dans mon cœur ♪ 380 00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:04,864 Oh! 381 00:22:04,949 --> 00:22:07,909 Oh, my! What a nice back. 382 00:22:09,704 --> 00:22:11,413 Honey, s – 383 00:22:11,497 --> 00:22:13,415 Sweetheart, sweetheart, try – 384 00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:16,084 Try taking off your shoes and socks first. 385 00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:18,712 My socks? It's cold in here. 386 00:22:20,548 --> 00:22:21,548 What? 387 00:22:21,632 --> 00:22:23,842 You think Dwight Gooden leaves his socks on? 388 00:22:27,555 --> 00:22:32,100 ♪ Et dès que je l'aperçois ♪ 389 00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:34,811 ♪ Alors je sens en moi ♪ 390 00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:39,566 ♪ Mon cœur qui bat ♪ 391 00:22:41,027 --> 00:22:43,653 ♪ Des nuits d'amour à plus finir ♪ 392 00:22:43,738 --> 00:22:47,073 ♪ Un grand bonheur qui prend sa place ♪ 393 00:22:47,158 --> 00:22:49,659 ♪ Des ennuis, des chagrins s'effacent ♪ 394 00:22:49,744 --> 00:22:54,706 ♪ Heureux, heureux à en mourir ♪ 395 00:22:56,584 --> 00:22:57,834 Ebby, honey. . . 396 00:22:57,918 --> 00:23:00,503 ♪ Quand il me prend dans ses bras ♪ 397 00:23:00,588 --> 00:23:02,881 have you ever been tied up in bed? 398 00:23:03,841 --> 00:23:05,884 ♪ Je vois la vie en rose ♪ 399 00:23:32,203 --> 00:23:35,872 Whoo-hoo! Bring it on, baby! 400 00:23:35,956 --> 00:23:37,749 -I heard about shit like this. -Yeah? 401 00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:41,044 -You ever heard about Walt Whitman? -Who's he play for? 402 00:23:41,754 --> 00:23:44,631 -He sort of pitches for the cosmic all-stars. -Never heard of him. 403 00:23:44,715 --> 00:23:47,300 Oh, good. Listen to this. 404 00:23:50,513 --> 00:23:52,972 "I sing the body electric. 405 00:23:53,057 --> 00:23:56,601 The armies of those I love engirth me, and I engirth them. 406 00:23:57,353 --> 00:24:00,480 They will not let me off till I go with them, respond to them, 407 00:24:00,564 --> 00:24:04,526 and discorrupt them and charge them full with the charge of the soul. 408 00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:12,492 But the expression of a well-made man appears not only in his face. 409 00:24:12,576 --> 00:24:15,203 It is in his limbs and joints also. 410 00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:16,746 -Excuse me. -It is –" 411 00:24:18,249 --> 00:24:20,291 Are we gonna fuck, or what? 412 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:27,632 "It is curiously in the joints of his hips and wrists, 413 00:24:27,716 --> 00:24:31,302 love flesh swelling and deliciously aching, 414 00:24:31,387 --> 00:24:36,641 limitless limpid jets of love, hot and enormous." 415 00:24:41,856 --> 00:24:43,857 Yeah, yeah. Charlie Kidman. 416 00:24:43,941 --> 00:24:45,483 Listen up, guys. 417 00:24:45,568 --> 00:24:47,068 - Can I have your attention a minute? - No! 418 00:24:47,153 --> 00:24:50,488 Gonna be leading a daily chapel service here in the locker rooms at 3:00 in the afternoon. 419 00:24:50,573 --> 00:24:52,073 Amen, brother! Amen! 420 00:24:52,158 --> 00:24:55,201 Y'all are invited to stop on by and worship before batting practice. 421 00:24:55,286 --> 00:24:58,121 Jimmy, goddamn it, loosen up and get laid. 422 00:24:58,205 --> 00:25:00,123 Yeah! 423 00:25:00,207 --> 00:25:02,375 I know you all think I'm pretty square, but, uh – 424 00:25:02,459 --> 00:25:05,461 -Aww! No, come on! -I believe what I believe. 425 00:25:05,546 --> 00:25:07,463 Here we go. 426 00:25:09,175 --> 00:25:12,218 Jesus, Ebby. You look like a truck ran over you, man. 427 00:25:13,304 --> 00:25:16,139 Nuke. Call me Nuke. 428 00:25:17,266 --> 00:25:19,809 Annie says that's my new nickname. 429 00:25:19,894 --> 00:25:21,311 Okay, Nuke. 430 00:25:21,395 --> 00:25:22,812 Go get 'em, Nuke. 431 00:25:22,897 --> 00:25:26,733 Annie nailed you? That's great. That means you're gonna have a great year. 432 00:25:27,484 --> 00:25:31,529 Is she, uh, as good as they say? 433 00:25:33,407 --> 00:25:35,533 No, man, we didn't fuck. 434 00:25:36,911 --> 00:25:39,829 No, she read poetry to me all night. 435 00:25:39,914 --> 00:25:42,040 It was more tiring than fucking. 436 00:25:45,419 --> 00:25:49,547 "Limpid jets of love." 437 00:25:51,300 --> 00:25:53,343 Hey – Hey, Crash. 438 00:25:53,427 --> 00:25:55,303 Does that mean what I think it means? 439 00:25:55,387 --> 00:25:57,180 "Limpid jets of love"? 440 00:25:57,264 --> 00:25:59,641 Your shower shoes have fungus on them. 441 00:25:59,725 --> 00:26:03,937 You'll never make it to the bigs with fungus on your shower shoes. 442 00:26:04,021 --> 00:26:06,773 Think classy, you'll be classy. 443 00:26:06,857 --> 00:26:08,566 If you win 20 in the show, 444 00:26:08,651 --> 00:26:11,152 you can let the fungus grow back on your shower shoes, 445 00:26:11,237 --> 00:26:13,071 and the press'll think you're colorful. 446 00:26:13,155 --> 00:26:17,909 Until you win 20 in the show, however, it means you're a slob. 447 00:26:23,415 --> 00:26:26,459 Y'all don't forget, Saturday is Bull Day 448 00:26:26,543 --> 00:26:28,711 down at the Northgate Mall. 449 00:26:29,672 --> 00:26:30,797 Strike! 450 00:26:30,881 --> 00:26:34,175 Whoa! Too bad, Butch. Too bad. 451 00:26:34,260 --> 00:26:36,928 Charge! 452 00:26:38,389 --> 00:26:41,140 You're not getting that cheese by me, Meat. 453 00:26:41,225 --> 00:26:45,311 And now batting for the Bulls, number 8, Crash Davis. 454 00:26:45,396 --> 00:26:46,688 Batter up. 455 00:26:55,489 --> 00:26:56,823 Foul ball! 456 00:26:56,907 --> 00:26:58,283 Foul – 457 00:26:58,367 --> 00:27:01,452 Stupid fuck, Crash. What are you swinging at a breaking ball for? 458 00:27:01,537 --> 00:27:03,037 Fuck me. 459 00:27:07,751 --> 00:27:10,169 Usually starts me off with the hammer. 460 00:27:10,254 --> 00:27:12,380 You're thinking too much, Crash. You're thinking too much. 461 00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:15,883 Get out of your fuckin' head. Don't let him in your kitchen. 462 00:27:15,968 --> 00:27:19,637 Come on, Crash. Just relax. You got it, honey. 463 00:27:19,722 --> 00:27:22,640 All right, here we go now. Stay back. Relax. 464 00:27:22,725 --> 00:27:25,351 Quick bat. Quick bat, quick ba – 465 00:27:25,436 --> 00:27:27,020 Foul ball! 466 00:27:31,025 --> 00:27:34,652 Throw that shit again, Meat. You throw that weak-ass shit again. 467 00:27:35,738 --> 00:27:38,072 Okay, just got a piece of it there. You got it. You got it. 468 00:27:38,157 --> 00:27:40,325 One more, baby. One more. You got him. Come on, Crash. 469 00:27:40,409 --> 00:27:43,494 All right, he's gonna throw the deuce now. Okay? 470 00:27:43,579 --> 00:27:44,996 He's gotta waste one. 471 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:48,333 Stay back and wipe that silly grin off his face. 472 00:27:48,417 --> 00:27:51,044 Come on, bring it. Bring it. 473 00:27:51,128 --> 00:27:52,879 - Hey! - Jesus Christ! 474 00:27:52,963 --> 00:27:54,881 What was that? What the hell was that? 475 00:27:54,965 --> 00:27:56,841 Okay, babe. What goes around comes around! 476 00:27:56,925 --> 00:27:59,302 Son of a bitch throws hard. 477 00:28:00,721 --> 00:28:03,431 It's okay, Crash. You take it easy, honey. 478 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:05,975 Go, Crash! 479 00:28:06,060 --> 00:28:09,479 All right. 1 and 2. You can hit this shit. Relax. 480 00:28:10,147 --> 00:28:11,481 Annie. 481 00:28:11,565 --> 00:28:12,982 Annie? Annie? 482 00:28:13,067 --> 00:28:14,776 Who's this Annie? 483 00:28:14,860 --> 00:28:17,445 Jesus. Get out of the box, you idiot. Where's your head? 484 00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:19,530 Get the broad out of your head! 485 00:28:19,615 --> 00:28:21,491 - Time out. - Time out! 486 00:28:21,575 --> 00:28:23,826 Take your time. 487 00:28:23,911 --> 00:28:24,994 Give me a rag. 488 00:28:28,415 --> 00:28:30,083 Get a hit, Crash. 489 00:28:31,251 --> 00:28:32,251 Shut up. 490 00:28:36,465 --> 00:28:37,924 Come on, baby! 491 00:28:40,177 --> 00:28:42,887 All right, you've seen all his pitches. 492 00:28:42,971 --> 00:28:44,639 You've seen them all. 493 00:28:44,723 --> 00:28:46,557 Just shorten up, Crash. 494 00:28:46,642 --> 00:28:49,060 Now bring me the gas, kid. 495 00:28:49,144 --> 00:28:52,188 -Bring me the gas. -Bring me the gas. 496 00:28:53,524 --> 00:28:55,441 Quick bat, quick bat, quick bat, qui – 497 00:28:56,443 --> 00:28:58,027 Stree! 498 00:29:03,033 --> 00:29:05,451 Scotty, baby, take this to Crash. 499 00:29:06,954 --> 00:29:10,415 Folks, we have a little lost girl up here. 500 00:29:10,499 --> 00:29:14,210 Says her name is Lyda Anne Baker. 501 00:29:14,294 --> 00:29:16,629 -She'll be waiting at the main ticket box. . . -Give it to Crash. 502 00:29:16,713 --> 00:29:18,381 for her daddy, Cedar Baker. 503 00:29:18,465 --> 00:29:20,049 Cedar, come on, get your little girl. 504 00:29:20,134 --> 00:29:21,217 -Crash? -What? 505 00:29:21,301 --> 00:29:23,219 Note from Annie. 506 00:29:23,303 --> 00:29:24,637 Read it. 507 00:29:26,932 --> 00:29:30,852 "Dear Crash, You have a lovely swing, 508 00:29:30,936 --> 00:29:33,604 but you're pulling your hips out too early. 509 00:29:33,689 --> 00:29:37,567 I'd be happy to meet with you tomorrow at the batting cage to discuss it." 510 00:29:37,651 --> 00:29:38,943 Signed Annie. 511 00:29:40,154 --> 00:29:43,739 Well, if there was one chick who'd know you're pulling your hips out early, it'd be Annie. 512 00:29:52,666 --> 00:29:55,626 It's kind of a personal note, kid, so don't read it. 513 00:29:55,711 --> 00:29:56,878 There you go. 514 00:30:05,429 --> 00:30:07,513 Here, Millie. 515 00:30:07,598 --> 00:30:09,015 What's it say? 516 00:30:10,058 --> 00:30:15,021 It says, "I want to make love to you. Crash." 517 00:30:15,105 --> 00:30:16,439 Oh, my. 518 00:30:24,990 --> 00:30:27,158 -You see my hips? -Yep. 519 00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:32,038 And I think Susan Sontag is brilliant. 520 00:30:34,082 --> 00:30:36,542 So is this gonna happen? Us? 521 00:30:38,253 --> 00:30:41,339 I'm committed to Nuke for the season. 522 00:30:41,423 --> 00:30:42,590 Oh. 523 00:30:43,634 --> 00:30:46,385 You had your chance the other day. 524 00:30:46,470 --> 00:30:48,387 What is it that you see in this guy? 525 00:30:48,472 --> 00:30:51,766 I mean, he's a young, wild. . . 526 00:30:51,850 --> 00:30:54,435 dim, pretty boy. 527 00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:57,438 Young men are uncomplicated. 528 00:30:57,523 --> 00:30:59,065 And he's not dim. 529 00:30:59,149 --> 00:31:01,609 He's just inexperienced. 530 00:31:02,611 --> 00:31:06,656 It's my job to give him life wisdom and to help him get on to the major leagues. 531 00:31:07,699 --> 00:31:10,076 Well, that's funny. That's my job too. 532 00:31:11,245 --> 00:31:12,620 Damn! 533 00:31:14,498 --> 00:31:17,375 -You're pulling your hips. -I know, I know, I know. 534 00:31:17,459 --> 00:31:19,627 But they're nice hips. 535 00:31:20,295 --> 00:31:22,088 -I looked up your records. -You what? 536 00:31:22,172 --> 00:31:25,424 Mm-hmm. You hit 227 home runs in the minors. 537 00:31:25,509 --> 00:31:27,176 That's not bad. 538 00:31:27,261 --> 00:31:29,387 -Don't tell anybody. -Why not? 539 00:31:29,471 --> 00:31:32,473 You hit 20 more this year, you're gonna be the all-time minor league champ. 540 00:31:32,558 --> 00:31:34,058 The record's 246. 541 00:31:34,142 --> 00:31:40,439 Well, 247 home runs in the minor leagues would be a kind of dubious honor. 542 00:31:40,524 --> 00:31:42,942 I think it would be great. The Sporting News should know about it. 543 00:31:43,026 --> 00:31:45,444 No. Would you – No. Just, no. 544 00:31:45,529 --> 00:31:46,821 Please. 545 00:31:48,198 --> 00:31:49,657 Okay. 546 00:31:50,909 --> 00:31:52,785 Last chance. 547 00:31:52,869 --> 00:31:54,704 Your place or mine? 548 00:31:54,788 --> 00:31:57,748 Despite my rejection of most Judeo-Christian ethics, 549 00:31:57,833 --> 00:32:00,251 I am, within the framework of the baseball season, 550 00:32:00,335 --> 00:32:01,877 monogamous. 551 00:32:04,006 --> 00:32:05,548 -Give me a break. -It's true. 552 00:32:05,632 --> 00:32:07,341 Stop it. 553 00:32:09,803 --> 00:32:11,470 Geez – 554 00:32:11,555 --> 00:32:14,640 The fact is, you're afraid of meeting a guy like me 'cause it might be real. 555 00:32:14,725 --> 00:32:18,811 So. . . you sabotage it with some, uh, what is it, bullshit 556 00:32:18,895 --> 00:32:21,397 about commitment to a young boy you can boss around. 557 00:32:21,481 --> 00:32:23,316 That's a great deal. 558 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:24,567 Nice. 559 00:32:24,651 --> 00:32:26,652 I know women like you. 560 00:32:26,737 --> 00:32:29,113 I know women like you. 561 00:32:29,197 --> 00:32:31,657 You're a regular patron saint. You know? 562 00:32:31,742 --> 00:32:33,993 Stray cats. . . 563 00:32:34,077 --> 00:32:38,080 lost causes, or 6' 3" homeless studs. 564 00:32:38,832 --> 00:32:41,626 Oh, Crash, you do make speeches. 565 00:32:52,596 --> 00:32:54,889 Oh, my! 566 00:32:56,308 --> 00:32:59,393 Oh! Crash, that was fabulous. 567 00:33:01,188 --> 00:33:02,563 Crash? 568 00:33:03,940 --> 00:33:06,776 You mean Nuke. You said Crash. 569 00:33:07,653 --> 00:33:09,737 Hmm? No, honey. 570 00:33:09,821 --> 00:33:11,447 No, I didn't. I said – 571 00:33:11,531 --> 00:33:12,907 I said Nuke. 572 00:33:12,991 --> 00:33:16,077 -You said Crash. -Oh, no, I didn't. 573 00:33:16,161 --> 00:33:18,412 Listen, sweetheart, you shouldn't listen to what a woman says 574 00:33:18,497 --> 00:33:21,540 when she's in the throes of passion. 575 00:33:21,625 --> 00:33:23,751 They say the darnedest things. 576 00:33:23,835 --> 00:33:25,586 Yeah. You said Crash. 577 00:33:27,172 --> 00:33:31,384 Honey, would you rather I be making love to him using your name, 578 00:33:31,468 --> 00:33:34,470 or making love to you using his name? 579 00:33:34,554 --> 00:33:36,972 Huh? Hmm? Hmm? 580 00:33:37,057 --> 00:33:39,225 Hmm? Hmm? 581 00:33:40,644 --> 00:33:43,020 -Yeah, maybe you're right. -Uh-huh. 582 00:33:45,774 --> 00:33:50,361 Welcome to the Eastern Seaboard Tobacco Growers City Council 583 00:33:50,445 --> 00:33:52,405 Little League Cash Drop Day. 584 00:33:52,489 --> 00:33:56,909 These young fellas – young men, I should say, over here to my left – 585 00:33:56,993 --> 00:33:59,912 Hi, 18. Hi, 12. 586 00:33:59,996 --> 00:34:02,206 Hey, Dino. 587 00:34:06,169 --> 00:34:07,586 Hey, Millie. 588 00:34:11,383 --> 00:34:13,801 Hey. I'm Millie. 589 00:34:14,928 --> 00:34:15,970 I'm married. 590 00:34:16,054 --> 00:34:18,222 He doesn't mean it, Millie. 591 00:34:18,306 --> 00:34:20,015 Yeah. Yeah. 592 00:34:23,729 --> 00:34:26,397 -What is that? -Chicken bone cross. 593 00:34:27,482 --> 00:34:30,609 Takes the curse off the bat and brings me hits. 594 00:34:30,694 --> 00:34:32,111 What are you? A goddamn witch? 595 00:34:33,196 --> 00:34:34,613 Yes. 596 00:34:34,698 --> 00:34:36,365 A switch-hitting witch. 597 00:34:37,367 --> 00:34:39,577 Will that work for me? 598 00:34:39,661 --> 00:34:41,579 If you believe in voodoo. 599 00:34:41,663 --> 00:34:44,373 José, I am zero for 16. 600 00:34:44,458 --> 00:34:46,625 A big, fucking doughnut hole for 16. 601 00:34:46,710 --> 00:34:49,211 I can't remember the last time I had a base hit. 602 00:34:49,296 --> 00:34:52,673 -Come on. Let me have some of that stuff. -Man, that is not belief. 603 00:34:52,758 --> 00:34:54,800 -That's desperation. -José! 604 00:34:54,885 --> 00:34:56,927 Come on. Just touch my bat once. 605 00:34:58,597 --> 00:34:59,930 Come on. Just once. 606 00:35:00,015 --> 00:35:03,142 I won't bother you the rest of the day, I swear to God. Just touch the bat once. 607 00:35:03,226 --> 00:35:06,937 Ladies and gentlemen, five, four, 608 00:35:07,022 --> 00:35:10,649 three, two, one! 609 00:35:10,734 --> 00:35:13,277 Let 'er go! 610 00:35:13,361 --> 00:35:16,030 One thousand big ones! 611 00:35:26,708 --> 00:35:28,250 Come on, Nuke. 612 00:35:28,335 --> 00:35:32,004 This batter ain't nothin'. Come on, Nuke. 613 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:38,093 -Come on, Nuke, nice and easy. -Okay, Nuke. 614 00:35:43,391 --> 00:35:44,642 Cut it! 615 00:35:46,937 --> 00:35:47,937 Time out. 616 00:35:48,021 --> 00:35:50,064 Let's play ball! Come on! 617 00:35:50,148 --> 00:35:51,941 - One down. - Stay there. 618 00:35:52,025 --> 00:35:54,235 Give me the ball. Give me the ball. 619 00:35:54,319 --> 00:35:55,528 Hey. 620 00:35:56,780 --> 00:36:00,366 Relax, all right? Don't try to strike everybody out. 621 00:36:01,284 --> 00:36:03,953 Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. 622 00:36:04,788 --> 00:36:06,789 Throw some ground balls. 623 00:36:06,873 --> 00:36:08,457 - Play ball! - It's more democratic. 624 00:36:09,376 --> 00:36:11,585 What's this guy know, anyway? 625 00:36:11,670 --> 00:36:14,547 If he's so great, how come he's been in the minors for ten years? 626 00:36:14,631 --> 00:36:16,757 If he's so hot, how come Annie wants me instead of him? 627 00:36:16,842 --> 00:36:17,800 Oh, hey. 628 00:36:17,884 --> 00:36:21,387 And another thing, Meat. You don't know shit. All right? 629 00:36:21,471 --> 00:36:23,681 You wanna make it to the show, you'll listen to me. 630 00:36:23,765 --> 00:36:26,767 Annie only wants you 'cause she can boss you around. Got it? 631 00:36:28,228 --> 00:36:31,230 So relax. Let's have some fun out here. This game's fun. Okay? 632 00:36:32,190 --> 00:36:34,316 It's fun, goddamn it. 633 00:36:34,401 --> 00:36:37,736 And don't hold the ball so hard. Okay? It's an egg. 634 00:36:38,738 --> 00:36:39,989 Hold it like an egg. 635 00:36:41,199 --> 00:36:43,576 All right, let's play ball! Come on! 636 00:36:43,660 --> 00:36:45,619 What does he know about fun? 637 00:36:45,704 --> 00:36:47,621 I'm young. I know about fun. 638 00:36:47,706 --> 00:36:50,249 He's an old man. He don't know nothin' about fun. 639 00:36:50,333 --> 00:36:52,543 All right, nobody's gone out there. 640 00:36:54,754 --> 00:36:57,506 Why is he calling for a curveball? 641 00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:00,301 I wanna bring heat. 642 00:37:01,803 --> 00:37:03,804 Shake him off. Throw what you want. 643 00:37:09,853 --> 00:37:11,312 Goddamn it. Time out. 644 00:37:11,396 --> 00:37:12,605 Hey! 645 00:37:13,273 --> 00:37:15,524 Why are you shaking me off? Huh? 646 00:37:16,234 --> 00:37:18,694 I want to bring the heater to announce my presence with authority. 647 00:37:18,778 --> 00:37:21,113 -To announce your what? -To announce my presence with authority. 648 00:37:21,197 --> 00:37:23,115 You announce your fucking presence with authority? 649 00:37:23,199 --> 00:37:25,409 This guy is a first-ball fastball hitter. He's looking for heat. 650 00:37:25,493 --> 00:37:27,912 Oh, yeah? So what? He ain't seen my heat. 651 00:37:30,790 --> 00:37:33,292 All right, Meat. Give him your heat. 652 00:37:35,921 --> 00:37:40,007 Why is he always calling me Meat? I'm the guy driving a Porsche. 653 00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:43,427 Fastball. 654 00:37:46,681 --> 00:37:49,767 Come on, Nuke. Settle down, boy. Settle down. Take your time. 655 00:38:01,196 --> 00:38:04,323 Home run for Burt Crooks of the Fayetteville Generals. 656 00:38:04,407 --> 00:38:06,867 What are you doing? Huh? What are you doing standing here? 657 00:38:06,952 --> 00:38:09,286 I give you a gift, you stand here, show up my pitcher? 658 00:38:09,371 --> 00:38:10,621 Run, dummy! 659 00:38:13,875 --> 00:38:15,459 Give me the ball. 660 00:38:17,087 --> 00:38:21,173 Well, he really hit the shit out of that one, didn't he? 661 00:38:21,257 --> 00:38:23,676 -I held it like an egg. -Yeah, and he scrambled the son of a bitch. 662 00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:27,096 Look at that. He hit the fuckin' bull. Guy gets a free steak. 663 00:38:29,432 --> 00:38:32,434 -You having fun yet? -Oh, yeah, I'm having a blast. Thanks. 664 00:38:32,519 --> 00:38:33,811 Good. 665 00:38:34,813 --> 00:38:37,898 God! Sucker teed off it like he knew I was gonna throw a fastball. 666 00:38:37,983 --> 00:38:39,692 -He did know. -How? 667 00:38:40,694 --> 00:38:42,111 I told him. 668 00:38:43,738 --> 00:38:45,739 - All right, one down. - Still got nobody out. 669 00:38:45,824 --> 00:38:48,993 Nuke, you're the man! No batter, no batter! Chuck hard, kid! You got him, baby! 670 00:38:49,077 --> 00:38:50,869 Don't think. Just throw. 671 00:38:50,954 --> 00:38:53,414 Don't think. Just throw. 672 00:38:53,498 --> 00:38:55,290 Come on! You the man! You the man! 673 00:38:55,375 --> 00:38:57,960 Chuck hard! Chuck hard! You got him! You got him! You got him! 674 00:39:00,422 --> 00:39:01,755 Throw strikes! 675 00:39:03,216 --> 00:39:05,968 - Stee! - That-a-way! 676 00:39:06,052 --> 00:39:08,762 God, that was beautiful. What'd I do? 677 00:39:16,146 --> 00:39:19,106 Hang on, Millie. Here we go again. 678 00:39:19,190 --> 00:39:22,985 ♪ I know I've been foolin' myself too long ♪ 679 00:39:23,069 --> 00:39:26,113 ♪ I'm never right, but always wrong ♪ 680 00:39:26,197 --> 00:39:28,240 ♪ Good-bye, baby, so long ♪ 681 00:39:29,701 --> 00:39:33,579 ♪ You know you never let this thing catch on ♪ 682 00:39:33,663 --> 00:39:35,831 ♪ You never let me be that strong ♪ 683 00:39:37,333 --> 00:39:38,751 ♪ So long, baby, good-bye ♪ 684 00:39:41,963 --> 00:39:45,424 That's the first home run of the year for Crash Davis. 685 00:39:45,508 --> 00:39:50,637 That brings the score up to Fayetteville 14, Durham 2. 686 00:39:50,722 --> 00:39:53,182 Hell of a shot. 687 00:39:54,809 --> 00:39:56,769 Sorry it got wasted. 688 00:39:56,853 --> 00:40:00,939 Jesus. I don't know what to do with these guys. 689 00:40:01,024 --> 00:40:02,775 I beg, I plead. 690 00:40:02,859 --> 00:40:05,486 I try to be a nice guy. I'm a nice guy, but I don't – 691 00:40:05,570 --> 00:40:07,905 -Scare 'em. -Huh? 692 00:40:07,989 --> 00:40:09,698 They're kids. Scare 'em. 693 00:40:12,202 --> 00:40:14,078 That's what I'd do. 694 00:40:15,538 --> 00:40:16,955 Yeah. 695 00:40:23,713 --> 00:40:25,297 Everybody into the shower! 696 00:40:25,381 --> 00:40:29,343 Anybody ain't in this shower in 10 seconds gonna get fined $100! 697 00:40:29,427 --> 00:40:31,220 -Larry! -One Mississippi! 698 00:40:31,304 --> 00:40:34,056 Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi. Four Mississippi. 699 00:40:34,140 --> 00:40:36,058 -Get in there! Hurry it up! -Five Mississippi. Six Mississippi. 700 00:40:36,142 --> 00:40:40,979 Seven Mississippi. Eight Mississippi. Nine Mississippi. Ten Mississippi. 701 00:40:41,064 --> 00:40:42,523 You guys! 702 00:40:42,607 --> 00:40:46,276 You lollygag the ball around the infield. 703 00:40:46,361 --> 00:40:48,737 You lollygag your way down to first! 704 00:40:48,822 --> 00:40:52,407 You lollygag in and out of the dugout. 705 00:40:52,492 --> 00:40:55,327 Do you know what that makes you? Larry. 706 00:40:55,411 --> 00:40:57,287 -Lollygaggers. -Lollygaggers. 707 00:40:58,498 --> 00:41:00,749 -What's our record, Larry? -Eight and 16. 708 00:41:00,834 --> 00:41:03,460 Eight and 16. 709 00:41:04,671 --> 00:41:06,213 How did we ever win eight? 710 00:41:06,297 --> 00:41:08,298 -It's a miracle. -It's a miracle. 711 00:41:09,968 --> 00:41:13,262 This is a simple game. 712 00:41:14,264 --> 00:41:15,973 You throw the ball. 713 00:41:16,933 --> 00:41:18,517 You hit the ball. 714 00:41:19,853 --> 00:41:21,728 You catch the ball. 715 00:41:22,564 --> 00:41:24,022 You got it? 716 00:41:25,024 --> 00:41:30,154 Now, we have got a 12-day road trip starting tomorrow. 717 00:41:32,448 --> 00:41:34,449 Bus leaves 6:00 in the morning. 718 00:41:35,660 --> 00:41:37,870 Goddamn son-of-a-bitchin' motherfucking shitheads. 719 00:41:37,954 --> 00:41:39,663 Goddamn it! 720 00:41:43,334 --> 00:41:45,210 Yeah, Skipper, you wanted to see me? 721 00:41:45,295 --> 00:41:47,296 Yeah, uh, Bobby. 722 00:41:47,380 --> 00:41:48,755 Shut the door. 723 00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:02,227 This is the toughest job a manager has, 724 00:42:03,188 --> 00:42:07,149 but the organization has decided to make a change. 725 00:42:07,233 --> 00:42:09,359 They're releasing you from your contract. 726 00:42:09,444 --> 00:42:13,071 Skip, I know I'm in a goddamn slump, but I hit the ball hard today. 727 00:42:13,156 --> 00:42:16,366 A couple of flares drop in for me, I'm right back in the groove. 728 00:42:18,244 --> 00:42:19,661 Sorry. 729 00:42:23,541 --> 00:42:24,791 Hey. 730 00:42:29,923 --> 00:42:31,965 - Let's go. Come on. - Nuke? 731 00:42:32,634 --> 00:42:33,759 Honey. 732 00:42:34,219 --> 00:42:37,012 Let's go. Come on. We got five hours. Five-hour drive coming up. 733 00:42:37,096 --> 00:42:40,182 Move your ass and get everything in. People are on, people are out. 734 00:42:40,266 --> 00:42:43,810 Honey, I want you to wear these when you're pitching on the road. 735 00:42:43,895 --> 00:42:45,938 -What are they? -They're garters. 736 00:42:46,022 --> 00:42:47,940 They're gonna hug your waist and snuggle 737 00:42:48,024 --> 00:42:50,275 and kinda dangle off your thighs and buns in such a wonderful way 738 00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:52,277 that'll help you see things differently. 739 00:42:52,362 --> 00:42:56,865 Plus, it'll remind you of me, which is a lot nicer than thinkin' about all those nasty hitters. 740 00:42:56,950 --> 00:42:59,743 Jesus, Annie, I don't – I don't know. 741 00:42:59,827 --> 00:43:01,620 You've been pitchin' out of the wrong side of your brain. 742 00:43:01,704 --> 00:43:03,914 This'll help put things on the right side. 743 00:43:04,707 --> 00:43:06,708 Big-league pitchers don't use these. 744 00:43:06,793 --> 00:43:09,378 They did when they were in the Carolina League. 745 00:43:09,462 --> 00:43:10,629 Nuke. Nuke. 746 00:43:10,713 --> 00:43:12,798 Excuse me. Time to go to work. 747 00:43:12,882 --> 00:43:14,591 Bye. 748 00:43:14,676 --> 00:43:16,218 Mmm. 749 00:43:21,641 --> 00:43:23,267 Bye, y'all. 750 00:43:23,351 --> 00:43:24,559 -Bye. -Give me a break. 751 00:43:24,644 --> 00:43:28,272 Bye. Go get 'em, boys. Hit 'em where they ain't. 752 00:43:47,875 --> 00:43:51,044 ♪ She may get woolly ♪ 753 00:43:52,255 --> 00:43:55,590 ♪ Young girls, they do get woolly ♪ 754 00:43:55,675 --> 00:43:59,261 ♪ 'Cause of all the stress ♪ 755 00:44:00,096 --> 00:44:01,847 ♪ Yeah ♪ 756 00:44:02,724 --> 00:44:05,559 ♪ When they get woolly ♪ 757 00:44:05,643 --> 00:44:10,856 ♪ Try a little tenderness, yeah ♪ 758 00:44:10,940 --> 00:44:12,566 Stop it. 759 00:44:12,650 --> 00:44:14,776 Thank you. 760 00:44:14,861 --> 00:44:16,987 -What? -It's not "woolly." 761 00:44:18,031 --> 00:44:19,239 Nobody gets "woolly." 762 00:44:19,324 --> 00:44:21,450 Women get weary. They don't get woolly. 763 00:44:22,327 --> 00:44:24,536 Nobody's got stress. They're wearing a dress. 764 00:44:24,620 --> 00:44:26,955 Goddamn, I hate people that get the words wrong. 765 00:44:29,834 --> 00:44:31,460 How come you don't like me? 766 00:44:31,544 --> 00:44:34,713 'Cause you don't respect yourself, which is your problem. 767 00:44:36,591 --> 00:44:39,426 But you don't respect the game, and that's my problem. 768 00:44:40,136 --> 00:44:41,345 You got a gift. 769 00:44:41,429 --> 00:44:43,347 -What do I got? -You got a gift. 770 00:44:43,431 --> 00:44:47,184 When you were a baby, the gods reached down and turned your right arm into a thunderbolt. 771 00:44:47,268 --> 00:44:50,103 You got a hall-of-fame arm, but you're pissing it away. 772 00:44:50,188 --> 00:44:51,688 I ain't pissin' nothing away. 773 00:44:51,773 --> 00:44:55,275 I got a Porsche already. I got a 911 with a quadraphonic Blaupunkt. 774 00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:57,778 Christ, you don't need a quadraphonic Blaupunkt. 775 00:44:57,862 --> 00:44:59,988 What you need is a curveball. Huh? 776 00:45:00,073 --> 00:45:02,074 In the show, everybody can hit a fastball. 777 00:45:02,158 --> 00:45:04,409 Well, how would you know? 778 00:45:04,494 --> 00:45:06,495 You been in the majors? 779 00:45:09,957 --> 00:45:11,792 Yeah, I've been in the majors. 780 00:45:11,876 --> 00:45:14,044 You were? Yeah? Where were you? 781 00:45:14,128 --> 00:45:16,088 You've been in the show, man? 782 00:45:16,839 --> 00:45:18,465 Yeah, I was in the show. 783 00:45:19,217 --> 00:45:22,135 I was in the show for 21 days once. 784 00:45:22,220 --> 00:45:24,888 Wow. 785 00:45:24,972 --> 00:45:27,933 -The 21 greatest days of my life. -I'll bet. 786 00:45:28,017 --> 00:45:32,020 You never handle your luggage in the show. Somebody else carries your bags. 787 00:45:32,105 --> 00:45:34,064 It was great. 788 00:45:34,148 --> 00:45:37,734 - You hit white balls for batting practice. - White balls! 789 00:45:37,819 --> 00:45:40,821 And the ballparks are like cathedrals. 790 00:45:42,532 --> 00:45:44,783 The hotels all have room service. 791 00:45:44,867 --> 00:45:46,410 Room service? 792 00:45:46,494 --> 00:45:49,037 And the women all have long legs and brains. 793 00:45:52,125 --> 00:45:55,377 -They're really hot, huh? -Yeah, and so are the pitchers. 794 00:45:55,461 --> 00:45:59,464 They throw ungodly breaking stuff in the show – exploding sliders. 795 00:46:02,635 --> 00:46:06,513 You could be one of those guys. Nuke could be one of those guys. 796 00:46:06,597 --> 00:46:08,598 But you don't give a fuck, Meat. 797 00:46:08,683 --> 00:46:12,269 Listen, I'm sick and fucking tired of you calling me Meat. 798 00:46:13,604 --> 00:46:17,065 -You want to step outside? -Yeah, I'll step outside. 799 00:46:17,150 --> 00:46:19,151 Hey, hey, hey! Come on, Crash! 800 00:46:19,235 --> 00:46:21,319 Man, come on! He was kidding! 801 00:46:21,404 --> 00:46:24,364 Hey, hey, hey, hey! Back off, back off! 802 00:46:24,449 --> 00:46:27,951 Come on. What's the problem? Crash. Crash. Nuke, what's happening, man? 803 00:46:28,035 --> 00:46:31,913 I was just gonna ask Crash to show me how to throw a breaking ball. 804 00:46:31,998 --> 00:46:35,709 Good idea. Good idea. Yeah. Anybody bring a ball? Let's get a ball. 805 00:47:13,122 --> 00:47:14,539 Double off the wall by Higgins. 806 00:47:14,624 --> 00:47:17,792 Once again, the Durham pitchers are unable to get the first out of the inning. 807 00:47:39,357 --> 00:47:42,025 The Bulls will attempt to end a six-game losing streak 808 00:47:42,109 --> 00:47:45,195 against the Greensboro Hornets with Nuke LaLoosh on the hill. 809 00:47:55,790 --> 00:47:57,916 Base hit to center field off LaLoosh. 810 00:48:04,590 --> 00:48:06,675 That closes the book on LaLoosh today. 811 00:48:06,759 --> 00:48:11,680 Five earned runs, five hits, five strikeouts, five walks, and five wild pitches. 812 00:48:11,764 --> 00:48:14,099 It's time to tell it like it is, sports fans. 813 00:48:14,183 --> 00:48:17,519 This is the most wretched road trip I've seen in 20 years, 814 00:48:17,603 --> 00:48:20,522 and possibly the worst Durham team in a half century. 815 00:48:20,606 --> 00:48:23,608 Is the modern-day athlete a pale imitation of the great old warriors? 816 00:48:23,693 --> 00:48:25,777 Only Crash Davis stands out this year. 817 00:48:25,861 --> 00:48:30,115 Begging the question, what are these boys thinking about? 'Cause it sure ain't baseball. 818 00:48:35,955 --> 00:48:38,665 Bench my ass. Bench me. 819 00:48:38,749 --> 00:48:41,167 What's up with that? Ha! 820 00:48:41,252 --> 00:48:43,837 Mr. Originality. 821 00:48:48,551 --> 00:48:51,595 Hey, Mr. Hormone, check out this. 822 00:48:51,679 --> 00:48:54,764 Ice skaters. God, look at 'em. 823 00:48:54,849 --> 00:48:57,058 Hey, fellas, that's what we need, man. 824 00:48:57,143 --> 00:48:59,686 One night with some of these skaters and we can get back on track. 825 00:48:59,770 --> 00:49:00,770 Yeah, right. 826 00:49:00,855 --> 00:49:03,690 We just need a night off to end our losing streak. 827 00:49:03,774 --> 00:49:05,775 What we need is a rainout. 828 00:49:05,860 --> 00:49:07,485 I can get us a rainout. 829 00:49:07,570 --> 00:49:10,196 Man, there ain't been a cloud in the sky in weeks. 830 00:49:11,907 --> 00:49:14,909 Hundred bucks says I can get us a rainout for tomorrow. 831 00:49:20,541 --> 00:49:22,917 - You got it, man. - You're on! 832 00:49:30,092 --> 00:49:32,636 I ain't paying for this. Crash, pay for this. 833 00:49:32,720 --> 00:49:34,929 Shut up. You're gonna wake everybody up. 834 00:49:35,014 --> 00:49:37,932 Let the bonus baby pay for it. 835 00:49:38,017 --> 00:49:41,353 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Jesus, man. 836 00:49:41,437 --> 00:49:43,605 -Geez! -Shit. 837 00:49:47,818 --> 00:49:50,820 - What, man? - Shh! Quiet. Come here. 838 00:49:52,031 --> 00:49:55,450 Hey, man, I'm 0 for 16. 839 00:49:55,534 --> 00:49:58,745 I'm 0 for June! 840 00:49:58,829 --> 00:50:01,081 Hey, Crash, what are you doing? 841 00:50:01,165 --> 00:50:03,416 Oh, my God. 842 00:50:11,258 --> 00:50:13,176 Oh, my goodness! 843 00:50:15,304 --> 00:50:17,889 We got ourselves a natural disaster. 844 00:50:28,818 --> 00:50:30,485 ♪ Last night ♪ 845 00:50:31,362 --> 00:50:33,571 ♪ I got loaded ♪ 846 00:50:33,656 --> 00:50:36,157 ♪ On a bottle of gin ♪ 847 00:50:36,242 --> 00:50:38,451 ♪ On a bottle of gin ♪ 848 00:50:39,578 --> 00:50:41,538 ♪ Last night ♪ 849 00:50:41,622 --> 00:50:43,790 -Dive! -♪ I got loaded ♪ 850 00:50:44,583 --> 00:50:46,251 ♪ On a bottle of gin ♪ 851 00:50:46,335 --> 00:50:48,837 -Come on, old man! -♪ On a bottle of gin ♪ 852 00:50:48,921 --> 00:50:51,840 -♪ But I feel all right ♪ -Whoo! 853 00:50:52,758 --> 00:50:54,509 ♪ I feel all right ♪ 854 00:50:55,594 --> 00:50:58,388 ♪ I feel all right ♪ 855 00:50:58,472 --> 00:51:00,140 ♪ Feel all right ♪ 856 00:51:01,183 --> 00:51:02,976 ♪ Feel all right ♪ 857 00:51:24,039 --> 00:51:26,833 ♪ She may be weary ♪ 858 00:51:28,210 --> 00:51:30,962 ♪ Women do get weary ♪ 859 00:51:33,841 --> 00:51:38,011 ♪ Wearin' the same old shabby dress ♪ 860 00:51:41,932 --> 00:51:45,310 ♪ And when she's weary ♪ 861 00:51:46,312 --> 00:51:51,316 ♪ Try a little tenderness ♪ 862 00:52:01,035 --> 00:52:02,869 Hey. Hey. 863 00:52:03,954 --> 00:52:05,663 -Wake up. -Huh? 864 00:52:05,748 --> 00:52:07,624 You're awake. 865 00:52:07,708 --> 00:52:09,250 You're okay. 866 00:52:10,461 --> 00:52:11,878 You were dreaming. 867 00:52:14,465 --> 00:52:16,508 You're okay? 868 00:52:16,592 --> 00:52:19,093 I was playing damn near naked. 869 00:52:19,178 --> 00:52:21,095 -What? -I was naked. 870 00:52:21,972 --> 00:52:23,431 Playing naked. 871 00:52:25,142 --> 00:52:27,185 I know. 872 00:52:27,269 --> 00:52:29,979 I know. I have that dream all the time too. 873 00:52:31,649 --> 00:52:33,233 We're almost home. 874 00:52:40,449 --> 00:52:42,617 All right, watch your head. 875 00:52:42,701 --> 00:52:44,994 -Here you go. -Let me get that black bag. 876 00:52:45,079 --> 00:52:46,246 -Here. -I'm not your slave. 877 00:52:46,330 --> 00:52:48,456 -That's not your bag. -No, that one over there. 878 00:52:51,627 --> 00:52:54,003 Need a ride? 879 00:52:54,088 --> 00:52:56,464 Uh, yeah. You goin' my way? 880 00:52:57,174 --> 00:52:58,633 Hi. 881 00:53:06,267 --> 00:53:07,475 Whoa. 882 00:53:08,561 --> 00:53:12,313 ♪ I've been made blue ♪ 883 00:53:12,982 --> 00:53:16,818 ♪ I've been lied to ♪ 884 00:53:16,902 --> 00:53:20,488 ♪ When will I be loved? ♪ 885 00:53:20,573 --> 00:53:22,240 God, I'm tired. 886 00:53:23,492 --> 00:53:24,742 What a trip. 887 00:53:25,953 --> 00:53:29,289 I was lousy. I mean, I was worse than lousy. 888 00:53:29,373 --> 00:53:33,293 Every time I pitched, it was like throwing gasoline on a fire. 889 00:53:38,799 --> 00:53:41,551 -I mean, I – -What is all this "I, I, I" stuff? 890 00:53:41,635 --> 00:53:45,013 What about me, huh? Aren't you glad to see me? 891 00:53:45,097 --> 00:53:47,056 Don't I look nice? 892 00:53:48,309 --> 00:53:50,518 You look great. I'm sorry. 893 00:53:50,603 --> 00:53:53,271 -I'm just totally exhausted. -Well, good. 894 00:53:53,355 --> 00:53:56,357 Physical exhaustion can be spiritually fabulous. 895 00:53:56,442 --> 00:53:59,777 What you need is a good game of catch. 896 00:53:59,862 --> 00:54:02,238 -Catch? -Mm-hmm. 897 00:54:02,323 --> 00:54:05,033 Mmm-baby, mmm-baby, come on. Fire one in here. 898 00:54:05,117 --> 00:54:07,201 This is ridiculous. I'm a professional. 899 00:54:07,286 --> 00:54:10,121 Will you just give it a try and lean in? 900 00:54:12,791 --> 00:54:14,250 Thank you. 901 00:54:15,002 --> 00:54:18,296 Now, I want you to breathe through your eyelids. 902 00:54:18,380 --> 00:54:19,589 -My eyelids? -Yeah. 903 00:54:19,673 --> 00:54:21,633 Like the lava lizards of the Galápagos Islands. 904 00:54:21,717 --> 00:54:25,428 See, there's some lizards have a parietal eye behind their heads so they can see backwards. 905 00:54:25,554 --> 00:54:30,558 Haven't you ever noticed how Fernando Valenzuela, he just doesn't even look when he pitches? 906 00:54:30,643 --> 00:54:34,687 He's a Mayan Indian. Or an Aztec. I forget which one. I get 'em confused. 907 00:54:34,772 --> 00:54:36,981 -So do I. -Stand up for a second. 908 00:54:37,066 --> 00:54:39,400 I want you to be aware of the chakra connection 909 00:54:39,485 --> 00:54:41,569 -between your feet and your testicles. -Chakra? 910 00:54:41,654 --> 00:54:45,740 Yeah, your right leg and your left testicle, and your left leg and your right testicle. 911 00:54:45,824 --> 00:54:48,117 -I like that. -I bet you do. 912 00:54:48,202 --> 00:54:50,370 Give me the ball. Come on. I'm tired of hearing this. 913 00:54:50,454 --> 00:54:53,039 All right. Fire one in there! Come on. 914 00:54:53,499 --> 00:54:55,416 Okay. . . 915 00:54:57,544 --> 00:55:00,380 You're patronizing me, and I will not be patronized. 916 00:55:00,464 --> 00:55:02,882 If I throw too hard, I'm gonna hurt the girl. 917 00:55:03,634 --> 00:55:08,721 This girl has handled a lot of pitchers whose records are a lot better than 1 and 7. 918 00:55:08,806 --> 00:55:10,264 -1 and 6. -Oh, sorry. 919 00:55:10,349 --> 00:55:11,808 Give me the goddamn ball. 920 00:55:19,984 --> 00:55:22,694 -How do you like that? -That was much better. Did you see that? 921 00:55:22,778 --> 00:55:26,114 Because your delivery was fully integrated because you weren't thinking about it 922 00:55:26,198 --> 00:55:28,574 'cause you were pissed off at me! Now that's progress. 923 00:55:28,659 --> 00:55:31,703 Get your butt up here, and let's bend over and I'm gonna show you – 924 00:55:31,787 --> 00:55:33,329 I give up. I give up. 925 00:55:33,414 --> 00:55:35,331 Come on, let's go inside and make love 926 00:55:35,416 --> 00:55:38,668 and fall asleep until it's time to go to the ballpark. 927 00:55:40,254 --> 00:55:44,298 Or. . . we could just take all that sexual energy and. . . 928 00:55:45,175 --> 00:55:47,510 kinda hold onto it for a few hours 929 00:55:47,594 --> 00:55:51,014 and then rechannel it into your pitching tonight. 930 00:55:53,559 --> 00:55:56,019 You're a powerful young thing, Ebby Calvin. 931 00:55:59,148 --> 00:56:01,024 You want something for that sore shoulder? 932 00:56:01,108 --> 00:56:03,776 Yeah, I want that shit that don't smell bad, all right? 933 00:56:03,861 --> 00:56:07,238 - Well, it's on back order. - Give him some of that shit. 934 00:56:19,043 --> 00:56:21,085 -Wha – -That's hot. 935 00:56:22,254 --> 00:56:24,130 No, I mean it. That's very hot. 936 00:56:26,425 --> 00:56:29,844 Annie says it'll keep one side of my brain occupied while I'm on the mound, 937 00:56:29,928 --> 00:56:32,055 thus keeping my brain slightly off-center, 938 00:56:32,139 --> 00:56:34,682 which is where it should be for artists and pitchers. 939 00:56:36,393 --> 00:56:37,727 Okay. 940 00:56:39,438 --> 00:56:43,775 She also – She also said that I should throw whatever pitches you call for. 941 00:56:45,277 --> 00:56:47,236 Annie's a very smart lady. 942 00:56:50,532 --> 00:56:51,699 What? 943 00:56:54,828 --> 00:56:57,205 The rose goes in the front, big guy. 944 00:57:01,752 --> 00:57:03,836 Now batting for the Salem Buffs, 945 00:57:03,921 --> 00:57:06,297 center fielder Joe McCorkle. 946 00:57:09,051 --> 00:57:11,177 This underwear feels kind of sexy. 947 00:57:12,471 --> 00:57:14,806 Don't make me queer, right? Right. 948 00:57:15,557 --> 00:57:17,141 Whoo! 949 00:57:20,104 --> 00:57:21,604 Breaking ball. 950 00:57:26,610 --> 00:57:29,570 -Yeah! -All right! Good way to start, baby! 951 00:57:29,655 --> 00:57:31,155 Right. 952 00:57:31,907 --> 00:57:34,867 I mean, I ain't queer. No, I ain't. 953 00:57:39,998 --> 00:57:41,457 Fastball. 954 00:57:45,212 --> 00:57:46,546 Stee! 955 00:57:47,631 --> 00:57:51,676 Ninety-six miles an hour. He looks good. But why's he all twistin' up like that? 956 00:57:51,760 --> 00:57:54,595 He's using his parietal eye, just like Fernando. 957 00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:57,056 Ooh, that was a humdinger. 958 00:57:58,350 --> 00:57:59,684 Come on. 959 00:58:03,438 --> 00:58:06,399 Fastball again? Why's he want the heat? I just threw heat. 960 00:58:06,483 --> 00:58:09,944 Don't think, Meat. Just give him the gas. 961 00:58:13,365 --> 00:58:14,657 Out! 962 00:58:15,826 --> 00:58:19,036 Geez. What's got into Nuke? 963 00:58:19,121 --> 00:58:23,541 He's wearing garters, and he's breathing out of his eyelids like a lava lizard. 964 00:58:24,001 --> 00:58:25,543 Old, uh, Mayan deal. 965 00:58:25,627 --> 00:58:27,545 -Aztec. -Aztec deal. 966 00:58:34,386 --> 00:58:36,470 Got it! I got it! 967 00:58:38,932 --> 00:58:40,808 Way to go! Way to go! 968 00:58:43,896 --> 00:58:46,397 -Had my mojo working! -You nuked 'em! 969 00:58:46,481 --> 00:58:48,107 You know what a mojo is? 970 00:58:48,609 --> 00:58:50,151 -Sure. -No, you don't. 971 00:58:51,111 --> 00:58:52,445 I was great, huh? 972 00:58:53,447 --> 00:58:56,157 Your fastball's up. Your curveball's hanging. 973 00:58:56,241 --> 00:58:58,409 In the show, they would've ripped you. 974 00:59:00,454 --> 00:59:03,956 -Can't you even let me enjoy the moment? -The moment's over. 975 00:59:04,374 --> 00:59:08,794 Y'all, don't forget to try one of Uncle Fred's yummy red hots while you're here. 976 00:59:08,879 --> 00:59:11,297 This guy starts me off with a breaking ball. . . 977 00:59:12,799 --> 00:59:14,759 I'm taking him downtown. 978 00:59:14,843 --> 00:59:17,220 He bad. He bad. 979 00:59:20,807 --> 00:59:25,102 I dare you to throw me the hammer. You ain't that stupid. 980 00:59:25,187 --> 00:59:28,189 Stepping up to the plate for Durham, our own Crash Davis. 981 00:59:28,273 --> 00:59:31,567 Come on, put your hands together for Crash. Let's hear it! 982 00:59:34,905 --> 00:59:35,905 Let's go. 983 00:59:35,989 --> 00:59:39,867 Come on, Meat. Bring me that weak-ass shit, huh? 984 00:59:39,952 --> 00:59:42,870 Bring it. Bring it. Bring it. 985 00:59:47,334 --> 00:59:49,001 Oh, my. 986 00:59:51,588 --> 00:59:54,924 Whoo! 987 00:59:58,095 --> 01:00:01,180 2-nothing Bulls in the second. First time the Bulls have been ahead in weeks. 988 01:00:01,265 --> 01:00:02,807 -Eh, Whitey? -Mm-hmm. 989 01:00:02,891 --> 01:00:04,976 Let's see if the real Nuke LaLoosh will show up. 990 01:00:05,727 --> 01:00:07,395 Bulls! Bulls! 991 01:00:18,407 --> 01:00:20,408 Back! Back, back, back, back! 992 01:00:20,492 --> 01:00:22,660 -Room! You got room! -Back! 993 01:00:23,078 --> 01:00:24,453 You got room! 994 01:00:25,163 --> 01:00:26,455 Out! 995 01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:34,463 What are you doing out here? I'm cruising, man. 996 01:00:35,048 --> 01:00:37,174 I want you to throw the next one at the mascot. 997 01:00:37,259 --> 01:00:39,385 Why? I'm finally throwing it where I want to throw it. 998 01:00:39,469 --> 01:00:41,470 Just throw it at the bull, all right? 999 01:00:41,555 --> 01:00:43,139 Trust me. 1000 01:00:46,059 --> 01:00:47,560 He's the boss. 1001 01:00:52,983 --> 01:00:57,778 A staggering start by LaLoosh. He's thrown five outs on nine pitches, all of 'em strikes. 1002 01:00:57,863 --> 01:01:01,824 He's got pinpoint control here tonight, Bull fans. Here's the pitch. 1003 01:01:11,793 --> 01:01:14,170 -This guy's crazy. -Yep. 1004 01:01:14,254 --> 01:01:18,007 I wouldn't dig in there if I was you. Next one might be at your head. 1005 01:01:19,468 --> 01:01:21,427 I don't know where it's gonna go. 1006 01:01:21,887 --> 01:01:23,220 I swear to God. 1007 01:01:38,028 --> 01:01:40,780 You're the man, Nuke. You're the man. 1008 01:01:40,864 --> 01:01:42,490 Easy game. Easy game. 1009 01:01:45,118 --> 01:01:46,619 Top of the ninth, two outs. 1010 01:01:46,703 --> 01:01:49,789 One out away from a stunning two-hit shutout for LaLoosh. 1011 01:01:51,291 --> 01:01:53,709 Bear down, Meat. Don't let up. 1012 01:01:54,378 --> 01:01:56,087 You own these guys. 1013 01:01:57,547 --> 01:01:59,673 Dad would love a shutout. 1014 01:02:03,970 --> 01:02:06,222 Oh, no, no, no. No. 1015 01:02:07,766 --> 01:02:11,060 No, no. He's looking for heat. 1016 01:02:11,520 --> 01:02:12,895 Let me give him the deuce. 1017 01:02:13,897 --> 01:02:15,314 Play ball! 1018 01:02:15,816 --> 01:02:20,194 Oh, no, he's shaking off the signs. Big mistake. 1019 01:02:20,779 --> 01:02:23,823 This son of a bitch is throwing a two-hit shutout, he's shaking me off. 1020 01:02:23,907 --> 01:02:25,366 You believe that shit? 1021 01:02:27,202 --> 01:02:30,413 Charlie, here comes the deuce. 1022 01:02:30,831 --> 01:02:33,040 And when you speak of me, speak well. 1023 01:02:38,505 --> 01:02:41,173 -No, no, serve it up. -Yeah. 1024 01:02:50,517 --> 01:02:52,435 Home run, Jimmy Powell. 1025 01:02:53,478 --> 01:02:54,854 Give me the ball. 1026 01:03:01,403 --> 01:03:03,612 You told him I was gonna throw a deuce, right? 1027 01:03:03,697 --> 01:03:05,114 Yep. 1028 01:03:06,450 --> 01:03:08,701 Man, that ball got out of here in a hurry. 1029 01:03:10,370 --> 01:03:14,457 Anything that travels that far ought to have a damn stewardess on it, don't you think? 1030 01:03:17,419 --> 01:03:18,669 Let's go! 1031 01:03:40,358 --> 01:03:42,693 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 1032 01:03:47,908 --> 01:03:49,325 Yeah! 1033 01:03:51,286 --> 01:03:55,122 When Nuke started listening to Crash, everything fell into place. 1034 01:03:55,207 --> 01:03:58,417 He started throwing strikes, and we started to win. 1035 01:03:58,502 --> 01:04:00,753 But Nuke was still confused. 1036 01:04:00,837 --> 01:04:05,716 He was so encouraged by his victory that he vowed not to have sex until he lost. 1037 01:04:05,800 --> 01:04:09,970 Unfortunately, however, he kept on winning, and for one extraordinary June and July, 1038 01:04:10,055 --> 01:04:15,726 the Durham Bulls began playing baseball with joy and verve and poetry. 1039 01:04:16,937 --> 01:04:20,397 The two sides of my own brain were all jumbled up and cross-wired. 1040 01:04:20,482 --> 01:04:22,358 While one side was being neglected, 1041 01:04:22,442 --> 01:04:26,153 the other was in paradise watching our Bulls play like big-leaguers. 1042 01:04:26,655 --> 01:04:30,115 We swept a four-game series at Kinston, two games at Winston-Salem, 1043 01:04:30,200 --> 01:04:33,744 and kicked the holy shit out of Greensboro in a three-game set. 1044 01:04:33,828 --> 01:04:37,915 And Crash, who kept hitting dingers, was approaching the minor league record, 1045 01:04:38,542 --> 01:04:40,084 though I told nobody. 1046 01:04:41,419 --> 01:04:46,507 After sweeping a July 4 doubleheader, the Durham Bulls were tied for first. 1047 01:04:46,591 --> 01:04:50,803 Beautiful as the winning streak was, I was gettin' damn lonely. 1048 01:04:51,179 --> 01:04:53,180 Something had to be done. 1049 01:04:53,265 --> 01:04:55,099 I needed a man. 1050 01:04:55,183 --> 01:04:57,059 Yeah! 1051 01:04:59,020 --> 01:05:01,522 -Nuke! -Hey, Jimmy, how you doin'? 1052 01:05:03,942 --> 01:05:07,069 Yeah! I love winning, man. 1053 01:05:07,153 --> 01:05:09,655 I fuckin' love winning. 1054 01:05:09,739 --> 01:05:11,282 You hear what I'm saying? 1055 01:05:11,366 --> 01:05:13,409 It's, like, better than losing? 1056 01:05:14,828 --> 01:05:17,371 Teach me something new, man. I need to learn. 1057 01:05:17,914 --> 01:05:19,373 Teach me something. 1058 01:05:20,041 --> 01:05:23,752 You got something to write with? Good. It's time to work on your interviews. 1059 01:05:23,837 --> 01:05:26,005 My interviews? What do I gotta do? 1060 01:05:26,089 --> 01:05:28,173 You're gonna have to learn your clichés. 1061 01:05:28,258 --> 01:05:31,760 You're gonna have to study them. You're gonna have to know them. 1062 01:05:31,845 --> 01:05:34,763 They're your friends. Write this down. 1063 01:05:35,807 --> 01:05:38,392 "We got to play 'em one day at a time." 1064 01:05:38,476 --> 01:05:42,271 ". . . got to play. . . " That's pretty boring, you know. 1065 01:05:42,355 --> 01:05:44,773 Of course it's boring. That's the point. Write it down. 1066 01:05:44,858 --> 01:05:48,152 ". . . one day at a time." 1067 01:05:48,236 --> 01:05:51,113 All right. "I'm just happy to be here. 1068 01:05:51,197 --> 01:05:53,866 Hope I can help the ball club." 1069 01:05:54,701 --> 01:05:56,744 I know. Write it down. 1070 01:05:57,495 --> 01:06:01,582 "I just want to give it my best shot, 1071 01:06:01,666 --> 01:06:05,836 and the good Lord willing, things will work out." 1072 01:06:06,838 --> 01:06:10,299 ". . . good Lord willing, 1073 01:06:10,383 --> 01:06:13,052 -things will work out." -"Things will work out." Yep. 1074 01:06:13,136 --> 01:06:14,637 How's Annie? 1075 01:06:18,391 --> 01:06:20,601 She's getting pretty steamed actually 1076 01:06:20,685 --> 01:06:23,896 'cause I'm still rechanneling my sexual energy. 1077 01:06:26,816 --> 01:06:30,069 I'm figuring I'm just gonna cave in and sleep with her, you know, 1078 01:06:30,153 --> 01:06:31,695 to calm her down. 1079 01:06:32,280 --> 01:06:34,239 -Are you out of your mind? -I'm just – 1080 01:06:34,324 --> 01:06:36,492 -Are you out of your mind? -Just talking about one time. 1081 01:06:36,576 --> 01:06:39,995 If you give in now, you might start losing. Huh? 1082 01:06:43,333 --> 01:06:47,002 Never fuck with a winning streak. 1083 01:06:52,967 --> 01:06:54,593 Hi, boys. 1084 01:06:55,512 --> 01:06:57,805 Hi, darlin'. Get in here, you sweet thing. 1085 01:06:57,889 --> 01:06:59,598 -Hey, Jimmy. -Hey, Millie. 1086 01:06:59,683 --> 01:07:01,475 Want a ride? 1087 01:07:02,352 --> 01:07:06,063 Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior? 1088 01:07:06,898 --> 01:07:08,357 No. 1089 01:07:08,441 --> 01:07:10,901 Can I give you my testimony? 1090 01:07:11,903 --> 01:07:14,238 You can do anything you want. 1091 01:07:19,077 --> 01:07:20,452 Hop in. 1092 01:07:24,624 --> 01:07:26,917 I am so proud of you guys. 1093 01:07:31,798 --> 01:07:35,092 -You want some more soup, honey? -Oh, no, thanks. That was good. 1094 01:07:39,305 --> 01:07:42,433 How about a little, um, back rub? 1095 01:07:42,517 --> 01:07:46,186 No, I'm-I'm okay. I think I'm gonna just take a little nap. 1096 01:07:47,063 --> 01:07:51,191 -You want me to tuck you in? -Annie. Annie, you can't seduce me. 1097 01:07:51,276 --> 01:07:55,571 Sweetie, I'm not gonna try to seduce you. 1098 01:07:58,742 --> 01:08:01,118 -What's that? -That's my leg. 1099 01:08:01,202 --> 01:08:02,786 I know what it is. 1100 01:08:02,871 --> 01:08:05,456 I just thought maybe we could work on some fundamentals, 1101 01:08:05,540 --> 01:08:09,543 since we're not gonna make love, and kind of. . . improve your hand-eye coordination. 1102 01:08:09,627 --> 01:08:13,422 - My hand-eye coordination? - Mm-hmm. Unsnap my stocking. 1103 01:08:15,175 --> 01:08:19,178 The other day, Crash called a woman's pu – 1104 01:08:19,262 --> 01:08:21,096 pussy, um. . . 1105 01:08:21,181 --> 01:08:24,600 Well, you know how the hair is kind of in a "V" shape? 1106 01:08:25,560 --> 01:08:29,271 -Yes, I do. -Well, he called it the Bermuda Triangle. 1107 01:08:29,355 --> 01:08:32,566 He said that a man can get lost in there and never be heard from again. 1108 01:08:32,650 --> 01:08:36,069 -What a nasty thing to say. -Oh, no, no. He didn't mean it nasty. 1109 01:08:36,154 --> 01:08:41,992 He – He said that getting lost and disappearing from the face of the earth 1110 01:08:42,076 --> 01:08:45,996 was sometimes a good thing to do, especially like that. 1111 01:08:46,080 --> 01:08:50,417 But he also said that there are times for discipline, 1112 01:08:50,502 --> 01:08:53,962 and-and self-control, and I think this is one of those times. 1113 01:08:54,047 --> 01:08:56,507 Well, Crash is a very smart man. 1114 01:08:57,050 --> 01:08:59,510 Now, honey, let's give it a try. 1115 01:09:05,225 --> 01:09:06,725 Here, wait a minute. Watch. Watch. 1116 01:09:12,857 --> 01:09:14,608 Now you try it. Go ahead. 1117 01:09:21,199 --> 01:09:22,449 Mm-hmm. 1118 01:09:24,702 --> 01:09:26,036 Yep. 1119 01:09:26,621 --> 01:09:29,790 Mmm. Yeah. That's it. 1120 01:09:31,292 --> 01:09:34,169 -You're playing with my mind. -I'm trying to play with your body. 1121 01:09:34,295 --> 01:09:37,798 -I knew it. You're trying to seduce me. -Of course I'm trying to seduce you, for God's sake. 1122 01:09:37,882 --> 01:09:40,467 I'm doing a damn poor job of it. Aren't I pretty? 1123 01:09:40,552 --> 01:09:44,346 -Oh, God, I think you're real cute. -Cute? 1124 01:09:44,430 --> 01:09:47,391 Baby ducks are cute. I hate cute! 1125 01:09:47,475 --> 01:09:50,561 I want to be exotic and mysterious. 1126 01:09:50,645 --> 01:09:54,481 You are. You're exotic and mysterious and cute and – 1127 01:09:56,192 --> 01:09:57,734 That's why I'd better leave. 1128 01:09:57,819 --> 01:09:59,736 Nuke, you got it all wrong! 1129 01:09:59,821 --> 01:10:03,365 There's no relationship between sex and baseball. Ask Crash. 1130 01:10:03,449 --> 01:10:05,701 -I did. -And what did he say? 1131 01:10:05,785 --> 01:10:08,287 He said if I give in to you, I'll start losing again. 1132 01:10:09,330 --> 01:10:11,248 -He did? -Yeah. 1133 01:10:12,375 --> 01:10:14,501 I'll be back when we lose. 1134 01:10:20,258 --> 01:10:22,050 Damn it. 1135 01:10:35,481 --> 01:10:38,275 How dare you tell Nuke to stay out of my bed! 1136 01:10:38,359 --> 01:10:41,028 You are messing with my private life! 1137 01:10:41,654 --> 01:10:43,614 Knock, knock. You know? "Come in." 1138 01:10:43,698 --> 01:10:45,574 -You're confusing him. -Where's "Thank you"? 1139 01:10:45,658 --> 01:10:47,910 -You're bending his mind all out of shape. -I'm what? 1140 01:10:47,994 --> 01:10:50,495 -You're confusing him. -I'm confusing him? 1141 01:10:50,580 --> 01:10:52,873 You got him breathing out of the wrong goddamn eyelid. 1142 01:10:52,957 --> 01:10:55,167 You got him parading around the locker room like a fruit. 1143 01:10:55,251 --> 01:10:59,254 That is a religious ritual, and it happens to be working, if you don't mind my saying. 1144 01:10:59,339 --> 01:11:01,798 Wait a second. Who dresses you? 1145 01:11:01,883 --> 01:11:03,342 -What? -Who dresses you? 1146 01:11:03,426 --> 01:11:06,470 Don't you think this is a little excessive for the Carolina League? 1147 01:11:07,055 --> 01:11:10,474 "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." William Blake. 1148 01:11:10,558 --> 01:11:12,225 -William Blake? -William Blake. 1149 01:11:12,310 --> 01:11:14,436 -William Blake? -William Blake! 1150 01:11:14,520 --> 01:11:17,105 -What do you mean, William Blake? -I mean William Blake! 1151 01:11:20,151 --> 01:11:23,236 Who are you? I mean, do you have a job? 1152 01:11:23,321 --> 01:11:26,531 I teach part-time at Alamance Junior College. 1153 01:11:26,616 --> 01:11:29,284 English 101 and Beginning Composition! 1154 01:11:29,369 --> 01:11:33,288 You know, having a conversation with you is like – 1155 01:11:33,373 --> 01:11:36,917 -is like a Martian talking to a fungo. -Oh, cute. 1156 01:11:37,001 --> 01:11:40,504 Just because sometimes you manage to be clever and you have a nice smile 1157 01:11:40,588 --> 01:11:42,464 does not mean you are not full of shit. 1158 01:11:42,548 --> 01:11:44,508 -What, I'm full of shit? -You're full of shit. 1159 01:11:44,592 --> 01:11:47,177 -You are full of shit! -Nuke's chastity was your idea. 1160 01:11:47,261 --> 01:11:48,887 I know. I'm telling you – 1161 01:11:48,972 --> 01:11:52,349 -I never told him to stay out of your bed. -Yes, you did. You most certainly did. 1162 01:11:52,433 --> 01:11:54,434 -I never told him to stay out of your bed. -Yes, you did. 1163 01:11:54,519 --> 01:11:58,021 I told him that a player on a streak has to respect the streak. 1164 01:11:58,106 --> 01:11:59,314 -Fine. -You know why? 1165 01:11:59,399 --> 01:12:01,316 -'Cause they don't happen very often. -Right. 1166 01:12:01,401 --> 01:12:03,860 If you believe you're playing well because you're getting laid 1167 01:12:03,945 --> 01:12:07,322 or because you're not getting laid or because you wear women's underwear, 1168 01:12:07,407 --> 01:12:08,949 then you are! 1169 01:12:09,033 --> 01:12:10,575 And you should know that. 1170 01:12:15,665 --> 01:12:18,458 Come on, Annie. Think of something clever to say, huh? 1171 01:12:20,169 --> 01:12:24,339 Something full of magic and religion bullshit. 1172 01:12:25,800 --> 01:12:27,551 Come on, dazzle me. 1173 01:12:30,138 --> 01:12:31,555 I want you. 1174 01:12:32,473 --> 01:12:33,765 What? 1175 01:12:34,267 --> 01:12:36,977 -I said I want you. -Stop it. 1176 01:12:43,151 --> 01:12:44,901 You're scared. 1177 01:12:50,074 --> 01:12:51,533 Maybe I am. 1178 01:12:52,535 --> 01:12:54,911 But I still think you should leave. 1179 01:12:57,957 --> 01:12:59,916 Okay, well, 1180 01:13:00,585 --> 01:13:03,086 this is the damnedest season I've ever seen. 1181 01:13:03,171 --> 01:13:06,548 I mean, the Durham Bulls can't lose, and I can't get laid! 1182 01:13:10,053 --> 01:13:11,428 Damn! 1183 01:13:12,388 --> 01:13:14,765 Come on, Nuke! Show 'em what you got. Super rook! 1184 01:13:14,849 --> 01:13:17,726 Show 'em your super rook! Super Nuke! Super Nuke! 1185 01:13:17,810 --> 01:13:21,229 LaLoosh! LA Loosh! Come on, LaLoosh! LA Loosh! LA Loosh! 1186 01:13:21,314 --> 01:13:25,150 Just relax out there. Don't aim the ball. 1187 01:13:25,818 --> 01:13:26,985 Damn. 1188 01:13:28,488 --> 01:13:31,364 Nuke's overthrowing tonight. Don't look loose. 1189 01:13:31,449 --> 01:13:33,366 Anything bothering him? 1190 01:13:33,451 --> 01:13:37,913 He says his chakras are jammed. He's having trouble breathing out of his, uh, left eyelid? 1191 01:13:37,997 --> 01:13:39,456 -Right eyelid. -Right eyelid. 1192 01:13:44,754 --> 01:13:46,546 Jack, give me the ball. 1193 01:13:46,631 --> 01:13:48,090 Fuck! 1194 01:13:51,010 --> 01:13:54,429 - Time out! - Up to the plate, Junior Shockley. 1195 01:13:54,514 --> 01:13:56,014 What's wrong? 1196 01:13:56,099 --> 01:13:58,225 I'm a little nervous. My old man's here. 1197 01:13:58,309 --> 01:14:00,644 Your dad's here? Where's he at? 1198 01:14:00,728 --> 01:14:04,189 He's right behind home plate. Don't look. Don't look. Shit. 1199 01:14:06,609 --> 01:14:07,943 Look, he's waving. 1200 01:14:08,027 --> 01:14:10,821 Hey, he's just your old man. He's as full of shit as anybody. 1201 01:14:10,947 --> 01:14:13,615 -Hey, what's going on? -Breathing through the wrong fuckin' eyelid again? 1202 01:14:13,699 --> 01:14:16,326 -Shut up. -Did you guys hear about Jimmy and Millie? 1203 01:14:16,410 --> 01:14:19,538 -Yep. -They got engaged! Can you believe that? 1204 01:14:19,622 --> 01:14:22,707 Oh, yeah? Wait till I tell him she's gone down on half the Carolina League. 1205 01:14:22,792 --> 01:14:26,002 Hey, anybody says anything bad about Millie, I break his neck. 1206 01:14:26,087 --> 01:14:28,004 Excuse me, guys, I got a game to pitch here. 1207 01:14:28,089 --> 01:14:31,550 José. 1208 01:14:31,634 --> 01:14:35,178 Hey, you guys. Don't throw me anything. My girlfriend put a curse on my glove. 1209 01:14:35,263 --> 01:14:37,597 I'll take the hex off the fuckin' glove. Give me the glove. 1210 01:14:37,682 --> 01:14:39,516 You gotta cut the head off a live rooster. 1211 01:14:39,600 --> 01:14:43,395 Come on! Play ball! 1212 01:14:43,479 --> 01:14:45,897 What the hell's going on out there? 1213 01:14:45,982 --> 01:14:48,692 Looks like a convention. Pretty soon they ought to call the roll. 1214 01:14:50,778 --> 01:14:53,488 -Get your ass out there and check it out. -You bet. 1215 01:14:57,201 --> 01:15:00,078 - Let's play some baseball! - Hurry up! 1216 01:15:01,247 --> 01:15:03,999 Excuse me. What the hell's going on out here? 1217 01:15:04,542 --> 01:15:09,171 Well, Nuke's scared 'cause his eyelids are jammed and his old man's here. 1218 01:15:09,255 --> 01:15:11,673 We need a live – Was it a live rooster? 1219 01:15:11,757 --> 01:15:14,301 We need a live rooster to take the curse off José's glove. 1220 01:15:14,385 --> 01:15:18,471 And nobody seems to know what to get Millie or Jimmy for their wedding present. 1221 01:15:18,556 --> 01:15:19,890 -That about right? -That's right. 1222 01:15:19,974 --> 01:15:21,474 We're dealing with a lot of shit. 1223 01:15:22,852 --> 01:15:25,604 Okay, well, uh, candlesticks always make a nice gift, 1224 01:15:25,688 --> 01:15:27,939 and maybe you could find out where she's registered. 1225 01:15:28,024 --> 01:15:30,692 Maybe a place setting or maybe a silverware pattern's good. 1226 01:15:30,776 --> 01:15:32,861 Okay, let's get two. Here we go. 1227 01:15:40,119 --> 01:15:43,121 LaLoosh looks in for the sign. Here's the pitch. 1228 01:15:43,206 --> 01:15:45,999 Ball hit deep into right field, off the wall. 1229 01:15:46,083 --> 01:15:49,461 -You should be at the game, Annie. -Mm-mmm. I'm fine. 1230 01:15:49,545 --> 01:15:53,465 Beautiful night for baseball here in Durham, and as the batter steps in – 1231 01:15:53,549 --> 01:15:59,971 How much time did you and Jimmy spend together before he proposed? 1232 01:16:00,056 --> 01:16:02,265 About five hours, I guess. 1233 01:16:02,350 --> 01:16:04,809 -We both just knew. -Hmm. 1234 01:16:06,103 --> 01:16:07,270 Annie. . . 1235 01:16:08,314 --> 01:16:10,565 do you think I deserve to wear white? 1236 01:16:11,734 --> 01:16:14,778 -Honey, we all deserve to wear white. -Ball 2, in the dirt. 1237 01:16:14,862 --> 01:16:16,613 Come on, Nuke! Go get him! 1238 01:16:17,949 --> 01:16:20,784 Shit! Piss! Fuck! 1239 01:16:21,327 --> 01:16:22,494 Right! Right! Right! 1240 01:16:22,578 --> 01:16:24,287 Bring it! Bring it! Bring it! 1241 01:16:24,372 --> 01:16:25,372 Come on! 1242 01:16:25,456 --> 01:16:28,959 He's gonna go home! Home! Home! We got him! Got him! 1243 01:16:30,419 --> 01:16:32,254 -Safe! -No! No! I got him! 1244 01:16:32,338 --> 01:16:35,090 -You missed him. You missed him. -No, I got him! I didn't miss him! 1245 01:16:35,174 --> 01:16:39,261 -Jesus, Jack, he still hasn't touched the plate! -Don't bump me! Don't bump me! 1246 01:16:39,345 --> 01:16:41,554 He still ain't touched the plate! 1247 01:16:41,639 --> 01:16:43,556 Ah, fuck it. 1248 01:16:43,641 --> 01:16:45,433 It was a cocksucking call. 1249 01:16:45,518 --> 01:16:49,104 -Did you call me a cocksucker? -No, I said it was a cocksucking call! 1250 01:16:49,188 --> 01:16:52,482 -You can't throw me for that! -You missed the tag! 1251 01:16:52,566 --> 01:16:55,485 -You just spit on me! You spit on me! -I did not spit on you! I did not! 1252 01:16:55,569 --> 01:16:58,571 You're in the wrong business, Jack. You're Sears and Roebuck material. 1253 01:16:58,656 --> 01:17:01,408 You're pushin' it, buddy. You want me to run you? I'll run you. 1254 01:17:01,492 --> 01:17:04,411 -You want me to call you a cocksucker? -Go ahead, try it! Try it! 1255 01:17:04,495 --> 01:17:07,539 -Call me a cocksucker! -"Pretty please." Beg me. 1256 01:17:07,623 --> 01:17:09,916 Call me a cocksucker and you're out of here! 1257 01:17:10,001 --> 01:17:13,044 -You're a cocksucker. You're a cocksucker! -You're out of here! 1258 01:17:13,129 --> 01:17:15,839 -Shit! -What the fuck is that? 1259 01:17:15,923 --> 01:17:17,215 Holy shit! 1260 01:17:22,013 --> 01:17:24,222 -He called me a cocksucker! -No way! 1261 01:17:25,224 --> 01:17:28,935 I've never seen Crash so angry, and frankly, sports fans, 1262 01:17:29,020 --> 01:17:32,105 he used a certain word that's a no-no with umpires. 1263 01:17:34,233 --> 01:17:36,526 Crash must have called the guy a cocksucker. 1264 01:17:36,610 --> 01:17:39,863 Mmm! God, he's so romantic. 1265 01:17:42,450 --> 01:17:45,368 When Crash got thrown out, the game got out of hand. 1266 01:17:46,203 --> 01:17:49,039 José made three errors with his cursed mitt. 1267 01:17:49,623 --> 01:17:53,209 Nuke never quite got in the groove, though he didn't pitch bad. 1268 01:17:53,294 --> 01:17:56,755 And the winning streak came to an end with a 3-2 loss. 1269 01:17:57,256 --> 01:18:00,759 The good news was that a man was about to come calling. 1270 01:18:00,843 --> 01:18:03,845 The bad news was. . . it was the wrong guy. 1271 01:18:14,398 --> 01:18:19,903 ♪ Non, rien de rien ♪ 1272 01:18:19,987 --> 01:18:24,491 ♪ Non, je ne regrette rien ♪ 1273 01:18:25,868 --> 01:18:28,703 ♪ Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait ♪ 1274 01:18:30,623 --> 01:18:32,665 ♪ Ni le mal ♪ 1275 01:18:32,750 --> 01:18:36,336 ♪ Tout ça m'est bien égal ♪ 1276 01:18:36,420 --> 01:18:40,006 ♪ Non, rien de rien ♪ 1277 01:18:40,091 --> 01:18:41,841 Annie! 1278 01:18:41,926 --> 01:18:44,886 ♪ Non, je ne regrette rien ♪ 1279 01:18:44,970 --> 01:18:47,013 Annie! 1280 01:18:47,098 --> 01:18:49,766 ♪ C'est payé ♪ 1281 01:18:49,850 --> 01:18:52,977 Come on, I know you're in there. I can hear that crazy Mexican singer. 1282 01:18:55,481 --> 01:18:59,109 ♪ Je me fous du passé ♪ 1283 01:18:59,193 --> 01:19:02,529 -We lost. -It's okay. 1284 01:19:04,323 --> 01:19:07,158 Oh, Annie, I'd like you to meet my father. 1285 01:19:07,243 --> 01:19:11,287 -Oh, my! -Ebby's told me a lot about you. 1286 01:19:11,372 --> 01:19:15,583 Yeah, Ebby tells me you've taught him a lot about discipline and self-control. 1287 01:19:15,668 --> 01:19:18,294 We were worried that he might get involved in the wrong crowd. 1288 01:19:18,379 --> 01:19:20,547 We're so pleased he met a Christian woman. 1289 01:19:20,631 --> 01:19:23,007 -Praise the Lord, eh? -Praise the Lord. 1290 01:19:23,092 --> 01:19:25,677 Excuse me. 1291 01:19:25,761 --> 01:19:27,137 Excuse me, Dad. 1292 01:19:30,099 --> 01:19:32,225 -Hello? Ooh! What? -Shh! 1293 01:19:34,603 --> 01:19:37,480 -We got a lot of catching up to do. -But your father is right there. 1294 01:19:37,565 --> 01:19:40,817 Crash tells me I gotta quit worrying about him, so I think it's a good opportunity. 1295 01:19:40,901 --> 01:19:43,361 -Let's go for a quickie right now. -We gotta talk. 1296 01:19:44,864 --> 01:19:49,284 Hello? Uh-huh. Yes. He most certainly is here. 1297 01:19:49,368 --> 01:19:51,661 Yeah. It's Skip for you. 1298 01:19:52,872 --> 01:19:54,330 Hey, Skip. It's me. 1299 01:19:59,211 --> 01:20:00,545 What? 1300 01:20:02,673 --> 01:20:04,257 Oh, my God. 1301 01:20:05,509 --> 01:20:07,969 Oh, my – Oh, okay. 1302 01:20:09,180 --> 01:20:11,222 Yeah. All right. 1303 01:20:11,307 --> 01:20:12,640 What? 1304 01:20:13,267 --> 01:20:15,143 I'm going to the show. 1305 01:20:16,270 --> 01:20:18,354 Oh! 1306 01:20:21,150 --> 01:20:23,776 Dad! Dad, they're sending me up to the majors. 1307 01:20:23,861 --> 01:20:27,030 I leave first thing in the morning. Can you believe it? 1308 01:20:29,325 --> 01:20:32,785 - Let's have a word of prayer. - Oh, let's not. 1309 01:20:33,829 --> 01:20:36,539 -I gotta find Crash. Come on, Dad, I'll dump you off. -Wait. 1310 01:20:38,334 --> 01:20:41,044 Not so fast. He'll be right with you. 1311 01:20:41,128 --> 01:20:44,130 Come on, sweetie, I just want to have you alone for a second 1312 01:20:44,548 --> 01:20:46,716 so we can say good-bye. 1313 01:20:47,176 --> 01:20:48,593 Oh, I'll be back. 1314 01:20:48,677 --> 01:20:51,179 When somebody leaves Durham, they don't come back. 1315 01:20:51,263 --> 01:20:53,014 No, I mean later. 1316 01:20:56,769 --> 01:20:58,269 Oh. 1317 01:21:03,943 --> 01:21:05,443 Uh. . . 1318 01:21:07,988 --> 01:21:11,282 Well, God. Annie, geez. 1319 01:21:13,619 --> 01:21:15,495 What do you have in there? 1320 01:21:15,579 --> 01:21:17,914 Uh, nothin'. 1321 01:21:17,998 --> 01:21:20,625 You're not gonna be needing these anymore. 1322 01:21:20,709 --> 01:21:23,711 -I better take them. -No. You're ready. 1323 01:21:23,796 --> 01:21:26,339 Do you think so? Do you think I'm ready for this? 1324 01:21:27,716 --> 01:21:29,926 Ebby Calvin "Nuke" LaLoosh. 1325 01:21:33,264 --> 01:21:35,139 Don't think too much. 1326 01:21:38,143 --> 01:21:39,936 I won't. 1327 01:21:43,065 --> 01:21:44,607 You know something, Annie? 1328 01:21:46,485 --> 01:21:48,736 You can't breathe through your eyelids. 1329 01:21:50,197 --> 01:21:54,576 Well, of course you can't breathe through your eyelids. Whoever told you such a ridiculous thing? 1330 01:22:09,174 --> 01:22:11,009 Now, get. Come on. 1331 01:22:15,139 --> 01:22:16,639 Drive careful. 1332 01:22:18,767 --> 01:22:21,060 Oh, my. 1333 01:22:37,202 --> 01:22:39,871 Hey, hey. There you are. 1334 01:22:39,955 --> 01:22:41,247 Crash. 1335 01:22:42,833 --> 01:22:44,292 Hey, Crash. 1336 01:22:45,002 --> 01:22:46,336 Guess what. 1337 01:22:47,588 --> 01:22:49,172 Guess what, man. 1338 01:22:50,966 --> 01:22:52,592 I'm going to the show. 1339 01:22:54,094 --> 01:22:56,846 The big club's expanding its roster to finish out the season – 1340 01:22:56,930 --> 01:22:58,264 Nice shot! 1341 01:22:58,349 --> 01:23:00,725 And I am going to the show. 1342 01:23:01,560 --> 01:23:03,394 So why don't you go then? 1343 01:23:03,729 --> 01:23:05,605 Well, let's celebrate! 1344 01:23:07,149 --> 01:23:08,816 Congratulations. 1345 01:23:10,653 --> 01:23:14,155 Hope you end up on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Maybe a cereal box. 1346 01:23:15,741 --> 01:23:19,285 What's your problem, man? I'm trying to thank you. 1347 01:23:19,370 --> 01:23:22,288 -Let's get out of this dump. I'll buy you a beer. -Hey! 1348 01:23:22,373 --> 01:23:24,749 -You calling my place a dump? -No, he's not. 1349 01:23:24,833 --> 01:23:26,501 -Huh? -No, he's not. 1350 01:23:27,461 --> 01:23:29,128 -He's not. Are you? -No. 1351 01:23:29,213 --> 01:23:31,172 He's not. All right? 1352 01:23:32,341 --> 01:23:34,133 Nuke, you know who this is? 1353 01:23:34,718 --> 01:23:36,469 This is Sandy Grimes. 1354 01:23:36,553 --> 01:23:41,557 -Sandy Grimes hit .371 in Louisville in 1965. -.376. 1355 01:23:42,267 --> 01:23:45,228 I'm sorry. He hit .376. 1356 01:23:45,312 --> 01:23:47,438 That's a career, man. 1357 01:23:49,525 --> 01:23:51,609 -In any league. -You got that right. 1358 01:23:51,694 --> 01:23:53,444 Did you hear what I said? 1359 01:23:53,529 --> 01:23:55,530 I mean, I'm going to the show. 1360 01:23:56,615 --> 01:24:00,743 Do you know what the difference between hitting .250 and .300 is? 1361 01:24:01,286 --> 01:24:02,829 It's 25 hits. 1362 01:24:03,872 --> 01:24:07,792 Twenty-five hits in 500 at bats is 50 points, okay? 1363 01:24:07,876 --> 01:24:11,045 There's six months in a season. That's about 25 weeks. 1364 01:24:11,130 --> 01:24:14,424 That means if you get just one extra flare a week, just one, 1365 01:24:14,508 --> 01:24:19,137 a gork, you get a ground ball, you get a – you get a ground ball with eyes, 1366 01:24:19,221 --> 01:24:21,389 you get a dying quail. . . 1367 01:24:23,016 --> 01:24:25,393 just one more dying quail a week, 1368 01:24:25,811 --> 01:24:27,478 and you're in Yankee Stadium. 1369 01:24:28,564 --> 01:24:31,774 You still – Y-You still don't know what I'm talking about, do you? 1370 01:24:31,859 --> 01:24:33,693 Get the hell out of here. 1371 01:24:33,777 --> 01:24:35,278 All right. 1372 01:24:36,113 --> 01:24:37,697 Fuck. 1373 01:24:38,449 --> 01:24:40,742 -I'll send you a postcard. -Send me a postcard? 1374 01:24:40,826 --> 01:24:43,453 -Hey, I made it. -You made it? You made shit. 1375 01:24:43,537 --> 01:24:45,496 Hey. Hey! 1376 01:24:48,751 --> 01:24:50,042 You crazy? 1377 01:24:50,127 --> 01:24:52,545 -Hey, man, what the hell's wrong with you? -I'll be all right. 1378 01:24:52,629 --> 01:24:54,797 No, I'm not talkin' about – I'm talkin' about my mirror. 1379 01:24:54,882 --> 01:24:57,592 Shit, I'm sorry. All right? 1380 01:24:57,676 --> 01:25:00,094 -Hey! -I'm not gonna fight you, man. 1381 01:25:00,179 --> 01:25:02,555 What do you mean, you're not gonna fight me, you fuck? 1382 01:25:02,639 --> 01:25:04,307 -What the fuck? Why am I a fuck? -Why are you a fuck? 1383 01:25:04,391 --> 01:25:06,350 -Why am I a fuck? -'Cause you got talent. 1384 01:25:06,435 --> 01:25:09,187 I got brains, but you got talent. 1385 01:25:10,647 --> 01:25:13,900 See this right arm? It's worth a million bucks a year. 1386 01:25:13,984 --> 01:25:16,235 All my limbs put together aren't worth seven cents a pound. 1387 01:25:16,320 --> 01:25:18,446 What are you talkin' about? You're a great catcher. 1388 01:25:18,530 --> 01:25:21,824 I'm a great catcher? I'm a great catcher? 1389 01:25:21,909 --> 01:25:23,367 -Forget it. Forget it. -Hey! 1390 01:25:23,452 --> 01:25:25,661 -Just fucking forget it. -Hey, Meat. 1391 01:25:28,665 --> 01:25:31,542 Damn! 1392 01:25:31,627 --> 01:25:34,295 I didn't mean to hit you, man. 1393 01:25:35,798 --> 01:25:38,090 You-You hurt my eye. 1394 01:25:38,801 --> 01:25:41,177 -Ow. -Sorry. 1395 01:25:41,678 --> 01:25:45,556 Well, did you hit me with your right hand or did you hit me with your left? 1396 01:25:47,434 --> 01:25:50,394 Huh? Did you hit me with your right hand or with your left? 1397 01:25:50,479 --> 01:25:52,855 -My left. -Good. That's good. 1398 01:25:52,940 --> 01:25:57,026 When you get in a fight with a drunk, you don't hit him with your pitching hand. 1399 01:25:57,569 --> 01:26:00,780 God, I can't keep giving you these free lessons. 1400 01:26:00,864 --> 01:26:03,115 So quit screwing around and help me up. 1401 01:26:10,207 --> 01:26:11,916 You look great, man. 1402 01:26:23,136 --> 01:26:25,012 Be careful with the bags. 1403 01:26:25,681 --> 01:26:27,598 We got a boy going to the show. 1404 01:26:57,337 --> 01:26:59,422 Sorry about last night. 1405 01:27:03,468 --> 01:27:04,927 Forget it. 1406 01:27:07,890 --> 01:27:12,685 I have been known on occasion to. . . howl at the moon. 1407 01:27:14,438 --> 01:27:16,063 You understand? 1408 01:27:18,317 --> 01:27:19,901 Um. . . 1409 01:27:21,194 --> 01:27:22,570 no. 1410 01:27:23,280 --> 01:27:24,780 Well, you will. 1411 01:27:27,117 --> 01:27:28,534 Look, Nuke, 1412 01:27:29,077 --> 01:27:34,206 these big-league hitters are gonna light you up like a pinball machine for a while, all right? 1413 01:27:34,833 --> 01:27:36,709 Don't worry about it. 1414 01:27:36,793 --> 01:27:40,504 You be cocky and arrogant, even when you're getting beat. 1415 01:27:42,257 --> 01:27:43,883 That's the secret. 1416 01:27:45,886 --> 01:27:50,056 You got to play this game with fear and arrogance. 1417 01:27:51,934 --> 01:27:53,643 Fear and ignorance. 1418 01:27:55,145 --> 01:27:59,315 No. Fear and arrogance, you hayseed, not ignorance. 1419 01:27:59,399 --> 01:28:01,067 I know, I know. 1420 01:28:02,361 --> 01:28:04,695 I just like seeing you get all worked up. 1421 01:28:11,161 --> 01:28:12,578 Listen, uh. . . 1422 01:28:16,166 --> 01:28:18,834 Thanks. For everything. 1423 01:28:34,559 --> 01:28:35,768 Hey, Nuke? 1424 01:28:38,605 --> 01:28:39,981 Good luck. 1425 01:28:40,065 --> 01:28:41,941 You too. . . 1426 01:28:42,693 --> 01:28:44,110 Meat. 1427 01:29:03,505 --> 01:29:06,007 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 1428 01:29:06,091 --> 01:29:07,466 You may kiss the bride. 1429 01:29:40,792 --> 01:29:42,126 Jimmy! 1430 01:29:42,210 --> 01:29:46,380 Jimmy, we all pitched in, man, and we got you a little gift. Tony? 1431 01:29:46,465 --> 01:29:48,924 It's kind of a special wedding cake from the Durham Bulls. 1432 01:29:52,512 --> 01:29:54,263 Oh, my Lord. 1433 01:29:59,895 --> 01:30:01,645 Yeah, Skip? 1434 01:30:02,814 --> 01:30:04,690 You wanted to see me? 1435 01:30:05,484 --> 01:30:08,152 Crash, shut the door. 1436 01:30:29,424 --> 01:30:32,134 This is the toughest job a manager has. . . 1437 01:30:35,639 --> 01:30:37,098 but. . . 1438 01:30:39,935 --> 01:30:42,394 the organization wants to make a change. 1439 01:30:43,647 --> 01:30:48,442 Now that Nuke's gone, they want to bring up some young catcher. 1440 01:30:48,527 --> 01:30:50,986 Some kid hitting .300 up in Bluefield. 1441 01:30:51,071 --> 01:30:52,863 Kid's probably a bust. 1442 01:30:53,698 --> 01:30:56,575 I put in a word for you with the organization. 1443 01:30:56,993 --> 01:31:01,497 I told them I thought you might make a fine minor-league manager someday. 1444 01:31:03,917 --> 01:31:08,420 There might be an opening at Visalia next year. 1445 01:31:11,591 --> 01:31:13,551 You had a hell of a year, Crash. 1446 01:31:15,053 --> 01:31:16,303 But. . . 1447 01:31:17,430 --> 01:31:19,348 you know how it is. 1448 01:32:42,766 --> 01:32:44,600 I got released. 1449 01:32:45,727 --> 01:32:47,353 I heard already. 1450 01:34:04,055 --> 01:34:05,764 Oh, my. 1451 01:35:04,032 --> 01:35:07,993 I think probably with my love of four-legged creatures and hooves and everything, 1452 01:35:08,078 --> 01:35:11,038 that in another lifetime, I was probably Catherine the Great. 1453 01:35:11,122 --> 01:35:13,874 Or Francis of Assisi. I'm not sure which one. 1454 01:35:15,543 --> 01:35:17,127 What do you think, honey? 1455 01:35:19,506 --> 01:35:23,634 How come in former lifetimes everybody's somebody famous? 1456 01:35:29,349 --> 01:35:30,766 I mean. . . 1457 01:35:33,353 --> 01:35:36,563 How come nobody ever says they were Joe Schmo? 1458 01:35:36,648 --> 01:35:39,441 Because it doesn't work that way, you fool! 1459 01:35:48,410 --> 01:35:50,369 God, you are gorgeous. 1460 01:35:53,123 --> 01:35:54,706 You wanna dance? 1461 01:36:10,014 --> 01:36:11,473 Yes. 1462 01:36:11,933 --> 01:36:13,600 I guess you do. 1463 01:36:28,324 --> 01:36:32,161 ♪ Sixty-minute man ♪ 1464 01:36:32,245 --> 01:36:35,747 ♪ Sixty-minute man ♪ 1465 01:36:35,832 --> 01:36:38,750 ♪ Lookee here, girls I'm tellin' you now ♪ 1466 01:36:38,835 --> 01:36:42,421 ♪ They call me Lovin' Dan ♪ 1467 01:36:42,505 --> 01:36:46,091 ♪ I rock 'em, roll 'em all night long ♪ 1468 01:36:46,176 --> 01:36:48,802 ♪ I'm a 60-minute man ♪ 1469 01:36:48,887 --> 01:36:50,179 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 1470 01:36:50,263 --> 01:36:53,765 ♪ If you don't believe I'm all I say ♪ 1471 01:36:53,850 --> 01:36:56,518 ♪ Come up here and take my hand ♪ 1472 01:36:57,562 --> 01:37:00,647 ♪ When I let you go You'll cry, "Oh, yes ♪ 1473 01:37:00,732 --> 01:37:04,276 ♪ He's a 60-minute man" ♪ 1474 01:37:04,360 --> 01:37:08,489 ♪ There'll be 15 minutes of kissin' ♪ 1475 01:37:08,573 --> 01:37:10,532 ♪ Then you'll holler "Please don't stop" ♪ 1476 01:37:10,617 --> 01:37:11,617 ♪ Don't stop ♪ 1477 01:37:11,701 --> 01:37:15,829 ♪ There'll be 15 minutes teasin' ♪ And 15 minutes pleasin' ♪ 1478 01:37:15,914 --> 01:37:18,373 ♪ And 15 minutes of blowin' my top ♪ 1479 01:37:19,542 --> 01:37:23,003 ♪ If your man ain't treatin' you right ♪ 1480 01:37:23,087 --> 01:37:26,215 ♪ Come up here and see old Dan ♪ 1481 01:37:26,299 --> 01:37:29,885 ♪ I rock 'em, roll 'em all night long ♪ 1482 01:37:29,969 --> 01:37:33,597 ♪ I'm a 60-minute man ♪ 1483 01:37:34,182 --> 01:37:37,226 ♪ Sixty-minute man ♪ 1484 01:37:37,310 --> 01:37:40,938 ♪ They call me Lovin' Dan ♪ 1485 01:37:41,022 --> 01:37:44,441 ♪ I rock 'em, roll 'em all night long ♪ 1486 01:37:44,526 --> 01:37:48,654 ♪ I'm a 60-minute man Oh, yeah ♪ 1487 01:37:48,738 --> 01:37:54,535 ♪ Sixty-minute man ♪ 1488 01:38:48,089 --> 01:38:50,257 Crash took off at dawn. 1489 01:38:50,341 --> 01:38:53,051 Said he heard there might be an opening for a catcher in Asheville 1490 01:38:53,136 --> 01:38:55,178 in the South Atlantic League. 1491 01:38:55,972 --> 01:39:00,517 A woman should be so strong and powerful that she's not affected by such things. 1492 01:39:00,602 --> 01:39:05,063 I mean, it wasn't the first time I went to bed with a guy and woke up with a note. 1493 01:39:05,648 --> 01:39:08,483 At least the son of a bitch left me breakfast. 1494 01:39:11,070 --> 01:39:14,823 You have to respect the ballplayer who's just trying to finish the season. 1495 01:39:15,241 --> 01:39:17,409 Least, that's what I told myself. 1496 01:39:18,411 --> 01:39:21,622 Baseball may be a religion full of magic, cosmic truth, 1497 01:39:21,706 --> 01:39:25,000 and the fundamental ontological riddles of our time, 1498 01:39:25,084 --> 01:39:27,127 but it's also a job. 1499 01:39:28,755 --> 01:39:32,341 Come on, Meat. Throw me that weak-ass shit. 1500 01:39:33,343 --> 01:39:35,636 Come on. Ain't gettin' that cheese by me. 1501 01:39:35,720 --> 01:39:37,971 Bring it. Bring it. 1502 01:39:38,056 --> 01:39:39,181 Bring it. 1503 01:39:40,683 --> 01:39:45,604 When Crash hit his 247th home run, I knew the moment it happened, 1504 01:39:45,688 --> 01:39:47,939 but I'm sure nobody else did, 1505 01:39:48,024 --> 01:39:50,901 and The Sporting News didn't say anything about it. 1506 01:39:52,737 --> 01:39:55,947 "Full many a flower's born to blush unseen 1507 01:39:56,032 --> 01:39:58,700 and waste its sweetness on the desert air." 1508 01:39:58,785 --> 01:40:00,494 Thomas Gray. 1509 01:40:01,037 --> 01:40:04,581 Or William Cullen Bryant. I don't know. I get 'em mixed up. 1510 01:40:04,666 --> 01:40:08,543 Anyway, my attempts at housekeeping were feeble as usual. 1511 01:40:08,628 --> 01:40:11,213 I sometimes get easily distracted. 1512 01:40:11,756 --> 01:40:14,966 Funny thing was, I stopped worrying about Nuke. 1513 01:40:15,051 --> 01:40:17,761 Somehow I knew nothing would stop him. 1514 01:40:17,845 --> 01:40:21,723 The world is made for people who aren't cursed with self-awareness. 1515 01:40:22,058 --> 01:40:25,102 Crash was right. Nuke had a gift. 1516 01:40:25,186 --> 01:40:28,563 I'm just happy to be here, and I hope I can help the ball club. 1517 01:40:29,357 --> 01:40:33,360 I just want to give it my best shot, and good Lord willing, things will work out. 1518 01:40:33,444 --> 01:40:35,696 You got to play 'em one day at a time though. 1519 01:40:35,780 --> 01:40:37,823 Raye Anne, right? That's a beautiful name. 1520 01:40:37,907 --> 01:40:39,616 Is that Greek? Raye Anne? 1521 01:40:39,701 --> 01:40:41,201 It's a beautiful name though. 1522 01:40:41,285 --> 01:40:43,704 There's a great song by Mötley Crüe. Do you know it? 1523 01:40:43,788 --> 01:40:45,539 ♪ Raye Anne, she's a-stayin' ♪ 1524 01:40:45,623 --> 01:40:48,417 No? Anyway, a good friend of mine used to say, 1525 01:40:48,501 --> 01:40:50,168 "This is a very simple game. 1526 01:40:50,253 --> 01:40:53,004 You throw the ball. You catch the ball. You hit the ball. 1527 01:40:53,089 --> 01:40:56,299 Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. 1528 01:40:56,384 --> 01:40:59,052 Sometimes it rains." 1529 01:40:59,137 --> 01:41:01,054 Think about that for a while. 1530 01:42:33,856 --> 01:42:35,607 What happened? 1531 01:42:37,068 --> 01:42:38,652 I quit. 1532 01:42:40,863 --> 01:42:43,031 Hit my dinger and I hung 'em up. 1533 01:42:50,081 --> 01:42:51,623 I'm quitting too. 1534 01:42:52,041 --> 01:42:54,543 I mean boys, not baseball. 1535 01:42:56,796 --> 01:43:00,674 You know, there might be an opening for a manager in Visalia next spring. 1536 01:43:05,513 --> 01:43:08,431 Think I could make it to the show as a manager? 1537 01:43:10,184 --> 01:43:12,018 You'd be great. 1538 01:43:14,438 --> 01:43:16,356 You'd be great. 1539 01:43:17,650 --> 01:43:21,862 I mean, because you understand about nonlinear thinking and – 1540 01:43:21,946 --> 01:43:25,782 I mean, baseball seems like a linear game with all those lines and the box scores and all – 1541 01:43:25,867 --> 01:43:29,035 -Annie. -But the fact is, it's a spacious non-time – 1542 01:43:29,120 --> 01:43:30,537 Annie. 1543 01:43:31,539 --> 01:43:32,581 What? 1544 01:43:33,332 --> 01:43:35,917 I got a lot of time to hear your theories, 1545 01:43:36,460 --> 01:43:39,004 and I want to hear every damn one of 'em, but. . . 1546 01:43:41,465 --> 01:43:44,718 now I'm tired, and I just – I don't want to think about baseball 1547 01:43:44,802 --> 01:43:47,137 and I don't want to think about quantum physics 1548 01:43:47,221 --> 01:43:50,098 and I don't want to think about nothing. I just – 1549 01:43:54,061 --> 01:43:55,854 I just want to be. 1550 01:43:58,107 --> 01:44:00,275 I can do that too. 1551 01:44:02,486 --> 01:44:04,571 Walt Whitman once said, 1552 01:44:04,655 --> 01:44:06,907 "I see great things in baseball. 1553 01:44:06,991 --> 01:44:10,076 It's our game, the American game. 1554 01:44:10,161 --> 01:44:13,747 It will repair our losses and be a blessing to us." 1555 01:44:14,165 --> 01:44:16,207 You could look it up. 1556 01:44:23,174 --> 01:44:25,008 ♪ Come on, honey baby ♪ 1557 01:44:25,092 --> 01:44:27,844 ♪ Take you downtown to the show ♪ 1558 01:44:29,847 --> 01:44:32,474 ♪ Sure is a heat scene ♪ 1559 01:44:32,558 --> 01:44:35,226 ♪ But a laugh, you know ♪ 1560 01:44:37,813 --> 01:44:42,317 ♪ Got to stop tryin' To figure everything all out ♪ 1561 01:44:44,528 --> 01:44:49,532 ♪ Don't nobody understand What I'm talkin' about ♪ 1562 01:44:52,036 --> 01:44:55,497 ♪ You know, love ain't no triple play ♪ 1563 01:44:55,581 --> 01:44:58,875 ♪ Just me and you all the way ♪ 1564 01:45:33,160 --> 01:45:37,288 ♪ Sometimes love can't explain ♪ 1565 01:45:38,624 --> 01:45:42,293 ♪ Each and every rule of the game ♪ 1566 01:45:43,671 --> 01:45:47,590 ♪ It still remains a mystery to me ♪ 1567 01:45:49,176 --> 01:45:51,803 ♪ By any other name ♪ 1568 01:45:53,681 --> 01:45:57,934 ♪ Why she can't make up her mind ♪ 1569 01:45:59,353 --> 01:46:02,105 ♪ Why he decides to stay ♪ 1570 01:46:04,525 --> 01:46:07,110 ♪ Why one surrenders ♪ 1571 01:46:07,194 --> 01:46:09,612 ♪ And the other runs away ♪ 1572 01:46:10,948 --> 01:46:15,702 ♪ But it's too much to understand ♪ 1573 01:46:16,829 --> 01:46:20,415 ♪ Still a man loves a woman ♪ 1574 01:46:20,499 --> 01:46:21,791 ♪ And ♪ 1575 01:46:21,876 --> 01:46:24,294 ♪ When a woman loves a man ♪ 1576 01:46:24,378 --> 01:46:26,796 ♪ A woman loves a man ♪ 1577 01:46:26,881 --> 01:46:29,340 ♪ She does what she can do ♪ 1578 01:46:29,425 --> 01:46:31,801 ♪ He does the best he can ♪ 1579 01:46:31,886 --> 01:46:34,512 ♪ When a woman loves a man ♪ 1580 01:46:34,597 --> 01:46:36,931 ♪ A woman loves a man ♪ 1581 01:46:37,016 --> 01:46:39,517 ♪ She does what she can do ♪ 1582 01:46:39,602 --> 01:46:42,687 ♪ He does the best he can ♪ 1583 01:46:42,772 --> 01:46:45,648 ♪ And I look into her eyes ♪ 1584 01:46:47,902 --> 01:46:50,570 ♪ When the world is out of hand ♪ 1585 01:46:51,030 --> 01:46:52,405 ♪ And I'm so happy ♪ 1586 01:46:52,490 --> 01:46:54,240 ♪ When a woman loves a man ♪ 1587 01:46:54,325 --> 01:46:57,118 ♪ When a woman loves a man ♪ 1588 01:46:57,203 --> 01:46:59,204 ♪ A woman loves a man ♪ 1589 01:47:00,498 --> 01:47:03,333 ♪ A woman loves a man ♪ 1590 01:47:03,417 --> 01:47:05,877 ♪ No moon tonight ♪ 1591 01:47:05,961 --> 01:47:08,505 ♪ No, nothin' to guide me ♪ 1592 01:47:08,589 --> 01:47:13,468 ♪ But still I will find her Standing beside me ♪ 1593 01:47:13,552 --> 01:47:16,054 ♪ No moon tonight ♪ 1594 01:47:16,138 --> 01:47:18,681 ♪ There's nothin' to guide me ♪ 1595 01:47:18,766 --> 01:47:24,395 ♪ But still I will find her Standing beside me ♪ 1596 01:47:24,480 --> 01:47:27,482 ♪ There's darkness everywhere ♪ 1597 01:47:28,567 --> 01:47:31,528 ♪ But still I'll find her ♪ 1598 01:47:31,612 --> 01:47:32,946 ♪ Standing beside me ♪ 1599 01:47:33,030 --> 01:47:35,698 ♪ Standing beside me ♪ 116763