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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:54,185 --> 00:02:57,388 [POSED TO DEATH PLAYING] 2 00:03:17,909 --> 00:03:20,711 ♪ I feel a warm resistance ♪ 3 00:03:20,744 --> 00:03:23,614 ♪ Beneath the outer layer ♪ 4 00:03:23,648 --> 00:03:26,651 [MUTED MUSIC] 5 00:03:30,788 --> 00:03:33,348 That's too goddamn elegant not to be true. 6 00:03:36,401 --> 00:03:38,202 BOY: Oh, yeah, that's a full load. 7 00:03:38,236 --> 00:03:39,771 That is a full load. 8 00:03:40,572 --> 00:03:42,907 [COUGHING] 9 00:03:42,941 --> 00:03:44,109 Wow. 10 00:03:44,843 --> 00:03:45,810 Next! 11 00:03:45,843 --> 00:03:47,579 No, no, no. I can do one more. 12 00:03:47,612 --> 00:03:49,614 Dude, can you, like, OD on pot? 13 00:03:49,648 --> 00:03:51,716 I guess we're about to find out. 14 00:03:51,750 --> 00:03:54,152 [COUPLE MOANING] 15 00:03:56,254 --> 00:03:57,723 [SCOFFS] 16 00:04:00,959 --> 00:04:02,527 Oh, my God. 17 00:04:02,561 --> 00:04:04,329 [MOANING CONTINUES] 18 00:04:05,297 --> 00:04:06,631 How can I even think? 19 00:04:06,664 --> 00:04:09,868 [SCARLET BEGONIAS PLAYING] 20 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:19,061 ♪ As I was walking 'Round Grosvenor Square ♪ 21 00:04:20,812 --> 00:04:23,982 ♪ Not a chill to the winter But a nip to the air ♪ 22 00:04:24,015 --> 00:04:25,416 Wanna dance? 23 00:04:25,450 --> 00:04:26,719 Yes! 24 00:04:28,953 --> 00:04:30,102 With me? 25 00:04:30,622 --> 00:04:32,615 [LAUGHS] Dude, denied! 26 00:04:32,878 --> 00:04:37,749 ♪ It could be an illusion But I might as well try ♪ 27 00:04:37,796 --> 00:04:40,265 ♪ Might as well try... ♪ 28 00:04:42,768 --> 00:04:45,236 [PHONE RINGING] 29 00:04:45,269 --> 00:04:46,371 [BEEPS] 30 00:04:46,404 --> 00:04:48,973 [ON ANSWERING MACHINE] Hello, Bickford. It's Dad. 31 00:04:49,006 --> 00:04:50,341 I'm still trying to reach you. 32 00:04:50,375 --> 00:04:52,810 It's been a couple of weeks already. 33 00:04:52,844 --> 00:04:55,447 I hope no news is good news, but call, okay? 34 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:58,050 I don't want to have to send another search party. 35 00:05:00,518 --> 00:05:02,354 [BEEPS] 36 00:05:06,642 --> 00:05:07,926 [LAUGHS] 37 00:05:07,959 --> 00:05:09,627 Busted robbing a fridge. 38 00:05:09,660 --> 00:05:11,930 How embarrassing. 39 00:05:12,597 --> 00:05:14,068 Attractive, uh... 40 00:05:15,701 --> 00:05:18,294 - Toga. - Thank you, it's very me. 41 00:05:18,703 --> 00:05:20,585 So when they say "Toga Party," 42 00:05:20,625 --> 00:05:23,508 it means you have to actually wear a toga to the party. 43 00:05:23,542 --> 00:05:25,676 Duh! What did you think it was? 44 00:05:26,132 --> 00:05:29,565 I don't know, a state of mind, like, "Come prepared to Toga." 45 00:05:29,947 --> 00:05:32,984 To Toga, or not to Toga. 46 00:05:33,018 --> 00:05:36,120 Shakespeare, right? That's a good imitation. 47 00:05:36,153 --> 00:05:38,022 Shh. 48 00:05:38,055 --> 00:05:40,178 I'm going to steal this H2O. 49 00:05:46,664 --> 00:05:49,492 So are you having fun at the... 50 00:05:50,106 --> 00:05:52,139 you know, party? 51 00:05:52,337 --> 00:05:54,238 Oh, yeah, mad fun. You? 52 00:05:54,272 --> 00:05:56,174 Uh... [LAUGHS] 53 00:05:56,207 --> 00:05:57,609 Not yet. 54 00:05:57,642 --> 00:05:59,377 I've just been on my own so far, 55 00:05:59,410 --> 00:06:02,276 banging my head against a brick wall metaphorically. 56 00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:05,850 So then your head must metaphorically hurt. 57 00:06:05,884 --> 00:06:07,252 Some days, yes. 58 00:06:07,285 --> 00:06:09,535 But Zeus had a headache, and out popped Athena, right? 59 00:06:09,754 --> 00:06:11,042 Goddess of wisdom. 60 00:06:11,456 --> 00:06:12,522 Oh, my God. 61 00:06:13,558 --> 00:06:14,826 Space-out. 62 00:06:14,859 --> 00:06:16,728 I... I used to know mythology. 63 00:06:16,761 --> 00:06:18,864 I totally loved that class. 64 00:06:19,730 --> 00:06:20,798 What... 65 00:06:20,832 --> 00:06:22,570 Oh, paranoia. 66 00:06:23,134 --> 00:06:24,344 Paranoia. 67 00:06:25,103 --> 00:06:26,504 Whoa... 68 00:06:26,650 --> 00:06:27,873 All right. 69 00:06:32,476 --> 00:06:34,058 Huh, banzai. 70 00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:40,952 ♪ You can't hurry love ♪ 71 00:06:44,889 --> 00:06:47,793 ♪ You can't hurry love ♪ 72 00:06:51,930 --> 00:06:56,371 ♪ You can't hurry love ♪ 73 00:07:03,007 --> 00:07:04,608 MALE VOICE: You shall not pass. 74 00:07:04,642 --> 00:07:05,689 Yow! 75 00:07:09,326 --> 00:07:11,228 You shall not pass! 76 00:07:15,253 --> 00:07:17,105 You shall not pass! 77 00:07:17,761 --> 00:07:19,775 Fucking righteous! 78 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:31,403 [UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC] 79 00:07:34,138 --> 00:07:36,976 ♪ Have you got A light for me? ♪ 80 00:07:37,876 --> 00:07:41,045 ♪ If so, can you get me Out of this place? ♪ 81 00:07:41,078 --> 00:07:43,481 [MUSIC CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY] 82 00:07:46,689 --> 00:07:48,215 Fuck this noise. 83 00:07:48,462 --> 00:07:49,509 What? 84 00:07:49,789 --> 00:07:51,149 Fuck this noise. 85 00:07:51,217 --> 00:07:52,241 Fuck what? 86 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:54,471 "This noise," it's a fairly common saying. 87 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:31,829 [ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC] 88 00:08:31,862 --> 00:08:35,066 ♪ Elevation far below you ♪ 89 00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:50,197 MAN 1: Hey, look at that guy! 90 00:08:50,801 --> 00:08:52,872 MAN 2: Oh, come on. Jump, dude! 91 00:08:53,404 --> 00:08:54,712 GIRL: Yeah, go! 92 00:08:55,707 --> 00:08:58,277 Isn't that the whack-job that lives in the basement? 93 00:08:58,576 --> 00:08:59,744 Jesus, yeah. 94 00:08:59,769 --> 00:09:01,739 Hey, uh, Bickford! 95 00:09:01,873 --> 00:09:05,382 You want to hang with us man? Away from the ledge there? 96 00:09:05,415 --> 00:09:06,817 BICKFORD: No can do, pal. 97 00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:08,385 I'm not in conversational mode. 98 00:09:08,419 --> 00:09:10,956 I thought I was, but fuck it. 99 00:09:11,388 --> 00:09:12,529 What's he saying? 100 00:09:13,517 --> 00:09:15,920 Uh, what you talking about, Bick? 101 00:09:16,327 --> 00:09:17,466 The problem. 102 00:09:18,302 --> 00:09:20,864 I thought I could forget about it for a while 103 00:09:20,898 --> 00:09:23,968 and mingle, toga, whatever, but no. 104 00:09:24,001 --> 00:09:25,124 No dice. 105 00:09:26,001 --> 00:09:27,405 I'm lobe-locked. 106 00:09:27,438 --> 00:09:30,674 Bro, what's up with the term paper, all right? 107 00:09:30,708 --> 00:09:32,342 You're making us all look bad. 108 00:09:32,376 --> 00:09:33,711 It's not for class. 109 00:09:34,912 --> 00:09:36,644 The problem is just a cool idea. 110 00:09:37,337 --> 00:09:39,950 What... What is it? What's your cool idea? 111 00:09:39,983 --> 00:09:42,641 A unified theory of everything. 112 00:09:44,495 --> 00:09:45,814 It's not a big deal. 113 00:09:47,625 --> 00:09:50,975 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 114 00:09:59,037 --> 00:10:01,173 Holy God, wow! 115 00:10:04,106 --> 00:10:05,250 Damn! 116 00:10:09,804 --> 00:10:11,791 Proof that we don't exist, one: 117 00:10:11,822 --> 00:10:12,982 Cosmologically. 118 00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:15,926 Black holes contain only matter without mass, 119 00:10:15,943 --> 00:10:19,193 Anything containing mass in a black hole is antimatter. 120 00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:22,613 So if we're living in an unimaginably giant black hole, 121 00:10:22,666 --> 00:10:23,763 We're antimatter. 122 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:27,675 And antimatter negates existence. 123 00:10:27,956 --> 00:10:29,691 I'm definitely matter, Einstein. 124 00:10:29,771 --> 00:10:30,839 Check out the gut. 125 00:10:30,953 --> 00:10:32,054 [ALL LAUGHING] All right... 126 00:10:32,691 --> 00:10:36,511 Proof two: Sub-atomically, 99.999% of you... 127 00:10:36,591 --> 00:10:38,711 - Is empty space. - No, no, I heard this it's like... 128 00:10:39,086 --> 00:10:43,384 When you compare, the size of a nucleus of an atom to the size of an actual atom, 129 00:10:43,487 --> 00:10:46,707 It's like comparing the size of a golf ball to the size of the Earth. 130 00:10:46,736 --> 00:10:50,376 Exactly, exactly, so how you can assert your existence with basic physics? 131 00:10:50,482 --> 00:10:56,702 Proves that you're overwhelmingly composed of a preponderance of empty space. 132 00:10:56,910 --> 00:10:59,971 But thinking, I mean the fact that I can think... 133 00:11:00,304 --> 00:11:02,736 How can you think if you don't exist? You know I think... 134 00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:06,256 Therefore, I am. That works for me, man. 135 00:11:06,643 --> 00:11:09,463 Even Descartes believed that he was incorrect. 136 00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:14,244 At the end of his life he re-wrote his flawed theory removing Therefore... 137 00:11:14,839 --> 00:11:16,677 from the equation. You know what changed his mind? 138 00:11:16,733 --> 00:11:19,216 Uh, did he hit the monster bong? 139 00:11:19,250 --> 00:11:20,290 [LAUGHING] 140 00:11:20,623 --> 00:11:22,990 No, Descartes did not hit the monster bong. 141 00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:26,633 Better, the invention of metaphysics blew his mind. 142 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,425 The idea that everybody 143 00:11:28,465 --> 00:11:33,324 experiences life solely, uniquely, impenetrably, from their own point of view. 144 00:11:33,350 --> 00:11:37,694 And no matter how hard anyone tries, they can never see completely, 145 00:11:37,741 --> 00:11:39,137 from another persons point of view. 146 00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:40,224 No offense, bro, 147 00:11:40,432 --> 00:11:43,168 but all these ideas are just paradoxes. 148 00:11:43,195 --> 00:11:45,462 I've had deeper thoughts watching Oprah. 149 00:11:47,911 --> 00:11:48,996 Not that I do. 150 00:11:49,141 --> 00:11:52,047 All right well that's because everything I've said is oversimplified... 151 00:11:52,562 --> 00:11:53,330 All right, this... 152 00:11:53,403 --> 00:11:57,937 existence issue is only a fraction of the problem I've been wrestling. 153 00:11:58,062 --> 00:12:01,128 The equation is made up of fractions that have to be described in 154 00:12:01,215 --> 00:12:03,995 four dimensional space-time to even make them even comprehensible. 155 00:12:04,105 --> 00:12:05,725 How else would you describe it? 156 00:12:05,849 --> 00:12:07,969 We exist in four dimensional space-time! 157 00:12:08,582 --> 00:12:09,589 Or do we? 158 00:12:12,110 --> 00:12:13,445 TRENT: Who is it? 159 00:12:13,478 --> 00:12:14,642 It's me, Trent. 160 00:12:15,059 --> 00:12:16,428 Jennifer? 161 00:12:17,702 --> 00:12:19,095 It's Sara. 162 00:12:21,312 --> 00:12:22,412 Hey. 163 00:12:23,441 --> 00:12:24,465 Hi. 164 00:12:24,890 --> 00:12:25,973 Hi. 165 00:12:34,532 --> 00:12:38,203 Look what I liberated. 166 00:12:38,937 --> 00:12:39,934 What is this? 167 00:12:40,151 --> 00:12:41,214 Rocket fuel. 168 00:12:42,821 --> 00:12:43,981 Rocket fuel? 169 00:12:45,410 --> 00:12:49,614 [MUSIC PLAYING IN THE DISTANCE] 170 00:12:53,919 --> 00:12:54,947 No. 171 00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:59,458 [SCREAMING] No! 172 00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:02,800 Is that Bick? 173 00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:06,034 Which one of you callous, spineless worms stole The Book? 174 00:13:06,765 --> 00:13:08,333 Yo, Bick, what's wrong, man? 175 00:13:08,448 --> 00:13:10,701 What's wrong is, some cretin at this party stole The Book. 176 00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:11,836 What book? 177 00:13:11,870 --> 00:13:13,071 Did someone steal his Bible? 178 00:13:13,104 --> 00:13:15,740 No, not some generic Bible, you little toga hussy. 179 00:13:15,773 --> 00:13:17,408 My book of cool ideas, Ralph. 180 00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:18,998 Hey, geek boy. 181 00:13:19,019 --> 00:13:20,446 Go cry somewhere else, will ya? 182 00:13:20,459 --> 00:13:21,579 I'm no geek, you knave. 183 00:13:21,612 --> 00:13:23,948 And I'm not shutting up until I get The Book back. 184 00:13:23,982 --> 00:13:25,349 Have it your way, buzz-kill. 185 00:13:25,383 --> 00:13:27,052 Oh, check it out. Fight, fight! 186 00:13:27,085 --> 00:13:28,520 RALPH: Come on! 187 00:13:28,553 --> 00:13:29,916 This is my house, man! 188 00:13:33,758 --> 00:13:34,822 Ya! 189 00:13:35,460 --> 00:13:36,523 Fucking creep! 190 00:13:37,262 --> 00:13:38,297 What? 191 00:13:43,601 --> 00:13:45,103 [SIGHS] 192 00:13:46,664 --> 00:13:47,836 Shit. 193 00:13:48,506 --> 00:13:49,556 Help! 194 00:13:49,953 --> 00:13:50,996 Police! 195 00:13:53,096 --> 00:13:54,710 Officers, I've been raped. 196 00:13:55,404 --> 00:13:57,131 - You what? - I've been raped. 197 00:13:57,415 --> 00:13:58,433 - Geez. - Raped? Where did it happen? 198 00:13:58,467 --> 00:14:00,952 Oh, God... Oh, God. 199 00:14:00,985 --> 00:14:03,287 No, no, no, no, not raped like sexually raped. 200 00:14:03,321 --> 00:14:05,056 Raped like the Earth has been raped. 201 00:14:05,089 --> 00:14:07,359 My cool ideas, they're in this book. 202 00:14:07,392 --> 00:14:08,793 A notebook. 203 00:14:08,827 --> 00:14:10,261 Kid, kid, kid... 204 00:14:10,295 --> 00:14:11,396 I live in a basement. 205 00:14:11,429 --> 00:14:13,930 So, what, you were not raped? 206 00:14:14,099 --> 00:14:16,534 RALPH: Hey, hey! 207 00:14:16,567 --> 00:14:17,783 Sorry. Yeah. 208 00:14:18,443 --> 00:14:19,671 Hail, Caesar. 209 00:14:19,704 --> 00:14:20,805 [LAUGHS] 210 00:14:20,839 --> 00:14:22,340 Toga party, officer. 211 00:14:22,573 --> 00:14:23,687 No shit. 212 00:14:24,303 --> 00:14:25,410 You been drinking tonight, son? 213 00:14:25,530 --> 00:14:26,912 Absolutely not. No, sir. 214 00:14:26,945 --> 00:14:28,280 [CLEARS THROAT] 215 00:14:30,748 --> 00:14:31,824 Smoke a little weed? 216 00:14:32,483 --> 00:14:33,530 No. 217 00:14:33,951 --> 00:14:35,019 So if I were to pat you down, 218 00:14:35,052 --> 00:14:36,388 I wouldn't find any weed on you? 219 00:14:36,421 --> 00:14:37,452 No, sir. 220 00:14:38,203 --> 00:14:40,438 Not even, like, a small bud? 221 00:14:41,258 --> 00:14:42,191 Nope. 222 00:14:42,352 --> 00:14:43,566 A little roach or something? 223 00:14:44,336 --> 00:14:45,367 No. 224 00:14:46,978 --> 00:14:48,032 - Shit. - Damn. 225 00:14:48,065 --> 00:14:49,834 Hey, we found your book, man. 226 00:14:49,867 --> 00:14:51,802 - [SIGHING] Oh. - Yeah. 227 00:14:51,836 --> 00:14:53,137 BICKFORD: Where? Who? How? 228 00:14:53,171 --> 00:14:54,672 I don't know. Some dumb jerk brought it 229 00:14:54,705 --> 00:14:56,207 and read it on the toilet. I don't know. 230 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:58,109 Somebody found it there, like, right after you left. 231 00:14:58,142 --> 00:14:59,810 - The toilet? - Yeah. 232 00:14:59,844 --> 00:15:01,412 That ignorant scum. 233 00:15:01,445 --> 00:15:03,581 RALPH: So thank you, officers. 234 00:15:03,615 --> 00:15:05,150 Seriously, really. Please, thank you. 235 00:15:05,183 --> 00:15:07,351 Uh, but I think we're okay now. 236 00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:08,515 You're all right, yeah? 237 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:10,695 Okay, get him home, Brutus. 238 00:15:11,708 --> 00:15:14,735 Freaking college kids with their frickin' books. 239 00:15:15,226 --> 00:15:17,348 It's Saturday night, for Pete's sake. 240 00:15:19,130 --> 00:15:20,732 [LAUGHS] 241 00:15:21,733 --> 00:15:22,868 Shit. 242 00:15:25,715 --> 00:15:26,756 Ralph, 243 00:15:27,317 --> 00:15:30,063 the shattered cosmos once again align. 244 00:15:30,775 --> 00:15:32,543 You saved my life. 245 00:15:32,577 --> 00:15:33,693 Thank you. 246 00:15:34,018 --> 00:15:35,286 Yeah, Bick, I... 247 00:15:36,208 --> 00:15:38,076 I lied, man. 248 00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:40,117 I mean, I didn't find your book. 249 00:15:40,151 --> 00:15:41,286 I just... 250 00:15:41,319 --> 00:15:42,787 What do you mean, you lied? 251 00:15:43,688 --> 00:15:46,658 You lied about the... You lied lied? 252 00:15:46,691 --> 00:15:47,525 Yeah, Bick, I mean... 253 00:15:47,559 --> 00:15:48,726 You lied about The Book, Ralph? 254 00:15:48,759 --> 00:15:50,728 - You lied about The Book. - I had to, Bick. 255 00:15:50,761 --> 00:15:53,732 We... We can't have cops around the house with that rager. 256 00:15:53,765 --> 00:15:57,735 Everyone's drinking, drunk, and I mean, God, even worse. 257 00:15:57,769 --> 00:16:00,705 I mean, seriously, we could get... fined. 258 00:16:01,039 --> 00:16:02,440 Oh. 259 00:16:03,982 --> 00:16:05,229 Are you okay? 260 00:16:06,244 --> 00:16:08,103 Oh, holy shit. Shit. 261 00:16:08,404 --> 00:16:10,770 Holy shit! You don't have some kind of condition do you? 262 00:16:10,816 --> 00:16:13,689 I literally feel like my heart is going to burst out of my chest right now. 263 00:16:13,769 --> 00:16:17,343 Man, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry about this we're gonna find your book OK? 264 00:16:17,373 --> 00:16:19,546 - We'll find it, I swear. - Oh God, get away from me! 265 00:16:19,844 --> 00:16:21,803 Fucking fibster! 266 00:16:22,934 --> 00:16:24,639 You don't care, you don't even know me! 267 00:16:24,666 --> 00:16:27,146 I'm just some loser who lives in the basement to you. 268 00:16:28,567 --> 00:16:32,179 I feel like I know you, I mean I think I get where you're coming from- 269 00:16:32,207 --> 00:16:33,240 Leave! 270 00:16:36,612 --> 00:16:38,531 DAD ON PHONE: It's not the end of the worlds, Bick. 271 00:16:39,297 --> 00:16:40,969 Maybe it's a blessing in disguise. 272 00:16:41,016 --> 00:16:44,208 Maybe this will get you to stop thinking so much and 273 00:16:44,283 --> 00:16:45,688 get out there and do. 274 00:16:45,721 --> 00:16:46,655 Out there? In there? 275 00:16:46,688 --> 00:16:48,657 It's all the same, and nobody gets it. 276 00:16:48,691 --> 00:16:51,927 I mean, I talk, and I can see it in their faces. 277 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:53,699 People think I'm a lunatic. 278 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:55,564 At least with The Book, I... 279 00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:58,100 I've had enough of the same conversation 280 00:16:58,293 --> 00:17:00,673 over and over and over. 281 00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:04,681 I think I just need to come home. I don't think I'm ready for school. 282 00:17:04,741 --> 00:17:07,268 We all agreed. You, me, the doctor 283 00:17:07,295 --> 00:17:09,201 that school would be the best next step. 284 00:17:09,248 --> 00:17:11,480 I know, but that decision was based on a set of facts 285 00:17:11,514 --> 00:17:14,757 that have changed materially, Dad. Entirely! 286 00:17:15,290 --> 00:17:19,320 I mean, I think I just need to come home until The Book is finished. 287 00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:23,225 Solve the thing, start from scratch. And I can't do that here, 288 00:17:23,258 --> 00:17:25,561 wallowing in this cesspool of... 289 00:17:25,748 --> 00:17:27,935 soon-to-be-Deltas of the brave new world. 290 00:17:28,014 --> 00:17:30,759 Coming home won't bring back Mom, Bickford. 291 00:17:33,752 --> 00:17:35,245 [PHONE BEEPS] 292 00:17:40,375 --> 00:17:43,593 "Every physical structure in the universe, including ourselves," 293 00:17:43,627 --> 00:17:45,414 "and in a constant state of flux," 294 00:17:45,555 --> 00:17:49,218 "minimally and maximally, continuously, continuously." 295 00:17:49,290 --> 00:17:53,789 "Yet, our lives are lived in ever-flowing still frames of reality," 296 00:17:53,903 --> 00:17:57,310 "sanity being the delusion of a comfortable continuity" 297 00:17:57,390 --> 00:18:00,229 "within the vortex of infinite chaos." 298 00:18:01,230 --> 00:18:03,271 "Vortex of infinite chaos"? 299 00:18:03,305 --> 00:18:05,204 Come on, you've got to admit, that rules! 300 00:18:06,768 --> 00:18:07,869 I get it. 301 00:18:08,323 --> 00:18:09,429 Well, okay. 302 00:18:09,503 --> 00:18:12,008 Then he goes on to talk about how we're all sub-atomically in flux 303 00:18:12,041 --> 00:18:15,358 and emotionally in flux and consciously and mentally in flux. 304 00:18:15,424 --> 00:18:17,471 I mean, even our flux is in flux. 305 00:18:17,584 --> 00:18:18,624 So what? 306 00:18:19,256 --> 00:18:23,076 It's just that when you put all these ideas and theories and facts together 307 00:18:23,130 --> 00:18:24,380 and think about them all at the same time, 308 00:18:24,426 --> 00:18:27,522 interconnected, your brain kind of orgasms. 309 00:18:27,725 --> 00:18:29,572 You must be stoned off your head. 310 00:18:29,637 --> 00:18:33,310 No, I am telling you. This book actually made me feel these ideas. 311 00:18:33,341 --> 00:18:35,290 I mean, like, tingly in my toes. 312 00:18:35,390 --> 00:18:37,565 'Cause you were on a stoner safari when you found it. 313 00:18:38,378 --> 00:18:40,495 Like the time you watched The Seventh Seal stoned 314 00:18:40,548 --> 00:18:41,803 and we didn't do anything for the next month 315 00:18:41,837 --> 00:18:43,721 but stay in and watch stupid Swedish movies. 316 00:18:44,188 --> 00:18:46,409 Ingmar Bergman isn't stupid. 317 00:18:46,809 --> 00:18:48,044 Ha! 318 00:18:50,050 --> 00:18:52,161 I should just go sleep with this guy. 319 00:18:54,530 --> 00:18:57,470 "Copyright Bickford Shmeckler." 320 00:18:57,630 --> 00:18:59,876 [SCOFFS] What kind of sick, twistoid parents 321 00:18:59,903 --> 00:19:01,657 would name their kid Bickford Shmeckler? 322 00:19:02,953 --> 00:19:05,061 - I'll ask him. - [SIGHS] 323 00:19:05,627 --> 00:19:06,787 Okay. 324 00:19:07,281 --> 00:19:08,620 You win. I'll read it. 325 00:19:09,945 --> 00:19:11,700 Shit, I got to get to practice. 326 00:19:11,852 --> 00:19:14,669 9:00 a.m. on a Sunday morning? 327 00:19:14,703 --> 00:19:17,172 That is so not rock and roll. 328 00:19:17,302 --> 00:19:19,741 Yeah, well, we are not rock and roll. 329 00:19:19,801 --> 00:19:20,909 We're adult contemporary. 330 00:19:21,008 --> 00:19:22,115 There's a difference. 331 00:19:25,052 --> 00:19:26,349 So you really think this book is that good 332 00:19:26,375 --> 00:19:27,965 that you would actually bang the guy who wrote it? 333 00:19:28,255 --> 00:19:30,864 Yeah. But I'm a nymphomaniac. 334 00:19:32,117 --> 00:19:33,243 And a klepto. 335 00:19:33,777 --> 00:19:35,410 Hey, quit knocking my hobbies. 336 00:19:35,476 --> 00:19:37,259 You're their prime beneficiary. 337 00:19:37,293 --> 00:19:40,863 [BICKFORD SCREAMING] 338 00:19:44,060 --> 00:19:46,420 Fucking Tarzan wanna-be motherfucker! 339 00:19:47,569 --> 00:19:51,039 I hope he's not down there slitting his wrists or... 340 00:19:51,345 --> 00:19:55,059 hanging himself, you know, OD'ing on pills, something horrible like that. 341 00:19:55,244 --> 00:19:57,473 Dude, why are you so uptight about Dickford? 342 00:19:57,853 --> 00:19:58,887 He doesn't even like us. 343 00:19:58,910 --> 00:20:01,183 Yeah, quit being such a fag. 344 00:20:01,216 --> 00:20:03,218 [LAUGHS] Pole smoker. 345 00:20:03,251 --> 00:20:04,686 Butt pirate. 346 00:20:04,719 --> 00:20:06,922 - Fudge packer. - Ass bandit. 347 00:20:07,015 --> 00:20:08,076 Ha-ha. 348 00:20:08,603 --> 00:20:09,869 Jizz guzzler. 349 00:20:11,319 --> 00:20:12,395 Yuck! 350 00:20:12,428 --> 00:20:14,196 - Dude, verbal violation. - Dude, that was all net. 351 00:20:14,230 --> 00:20:15,331 All net, man. 352 00:20:15,364 --> 00:20:16,831 No, you don't throw "jizz" out like... 353 00:20:16,865 --> 00:20:17,888 Gentlemen. 354 00:20:18,441 --> 00:20:20,870 I found this most telltale object 355 00:20:20,903 --> 00:20:24,122 adjacent to the location my Tootsie Pops formerly occupied. 356 00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:26,432 Huh? 357 00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:29,611 There was an exceedingly bodacious blonde at the party last night. 358 00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:32,580 She had a wreath-type flower thing in her hair. 359 00:20:32,614 --> 00:20:33,782 We conversed in the kitchen. 360 00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:37,152 I think she may be it, the one, the culprit. 361 00:20:37,412 --> 00:20:38,464 That was Sara Witt. 362 00:20:38,697 --> 00:20:39,701 Sara Witt? 363 00:20:40,122 --> 00:20:41,323 She is pretty. 364 00:20:41,357 --> 00:20:44,057 Sara Witt is a stone-cold fox, bro. 365 00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:45,300 Amen. 366 00:20:45,380 --> 00:20:47,068 And she's all for free. 367 00:20:47,769 --> 00:20:48,783 All for free? 368 00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:50,966 Yeah, you know. Alpha Zeta G? 369 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,034 It's a sorority. 370 00:20:54,041 --> 00:20:55,430 Down on Washington Street? 371 00:20:56,231 --> 00:20:57,628 Alpha Zeta G. 372 00:20:58,243 --> 00:20:59,396 Washington Street. 373 00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:01,643 [HOLD ON LOOSELY PLAYING] 374 00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:04,613 ♪ You see it all around you ♪ 375 00:21:05,314 --> 00:21:07,783 ♪ Good lovin' gone bad ♪ 376 00:21:09,251 --> 00:21:11,386 ♪ And usually it's too late ♪ 377 00:21:11,420 --> 00:21:15,491 ♪ When you realize What you had ♪ 378 00:21:16,725 --> 00:21:19,161 ♪ So hold on loosely ♪ 379 00:21:20,462 --> 00:21:22,731 ♪ But don't let go ♪ 380 00:21:23,898 --> 00:21:27,285 ♪ If you cling Too tightly... ♪ 381 00:21:27,699 --> 00:21:29,653 ♪ You're gonna lose it ♪ 382 00:21:39,915 --> 00:21:41,442 You, Trent! 383 00:21:42,775 --> 00:21:44,920 My man is gonna be late for practice again. 384 00:21:46,001 --> 00:21:48,054 Hey, Herbie. Question. 385 00:21:51,821 --> 00:21:53,094 You think I write good lyrics? 386 00:21:55,352 --> 00:21:56,359 Why? 387 00:21:56,743 --> 00:21:58,483 That Sara thing you're bouncin' dissin' ya? 388 00:21:58,569 --> 00:21:59,676 Dissin' me? 389 00:22:00,282 --> 00:22:02,402 The chick worships the ground I walk on. 390 00:22:03,066 --> 00:22:04,233 Yeah right, bro. 391 00:22:04,873 --> 00:22:05,893 Peace. 392 00:22:10,483 --> 00:22:14,121 I am ten times more socially relevant than this geek. 393 00:22:47,972 --> 00:22:49,014 Sara Witt? 394 00:22:50,009 --> 00:22:51,420 Yeah, all right. 395 00:22:52,298 --> 00:22:56,144 I stopped by that sorority house thing of yours, and your friends, "sisters," 396 00:22:56,408 --> 00:22:58,892 droogies, whatever you call them, told me I could find you here. 397 00:22:58,951 --> 00:23:02,380 Look, I want my book back now, all right? 398 00:23:06,225 --> 00:23:08,604 You are the girl who stole my book, are you not? 399 00:23:10,129 --> 00:23:12,086 You're Bickford Shmeckler, 400 00:23:12,798 --> 00:23:14,953 the man with the metaphorical headache. 401 00:23:18,497 --> 00:23:21,133 And thank you, so much! 402 00:23:21,574 --> 00:23:22,629 Oh! 403 00:23:22,667 --> 00:23:24,742 - For what? For what? God! - Inspiration. 404 00:23:24,775 --> 00:23:28,699 God, I read your words, and look what exploded out of me. 405 00:23:28,739 --> 00:23:31,033 I think this is my best work ever. 406 00:23:31,922 --> 00:23:34,092 What's the black spot in the middle mean? 407 00:23:34,487 --> 00:23:35,965 That's my clitoris. 408 00:23:36,563 --> 00:23:39,798 It's a motif. I always put it somewhere in each of my paintings. 409 00:23:41,486 --> 00:23:42,595 Do you like it? 410 00:23:43,584 --> 00:23:44,657 Your clitoris? 411 00:23:45,036 --> 00:23:47,366 No, the painting, silly. 412 00:23:48,173 --> 00:23:49,485 It's, uh... 413 00:23:51,744 --> 00:23:55,226 Look, Sara, I want my fucking book back, all right? 414 00:23:55,729 --> 00:23:58,497 I'm sorry. I'm just a little too distracted right now 415 00:23:58,531 --> 00:24:00,600 to do superficial stuff like look at art. 416 00:24:00,659 --> 00:24:03,762 Mmm, well, distraction is a vibration 417 00:24:03,809 --> 00:24:06,875 felt in the conscious mind, sent by the subconscious, 418 00:24:06,913 --> 00:24:08,823 begging it, to pay attention. 419 00:24:08,887 --> 00:24:13,555 It is a whisper from the mother of invention. 420 00:24:15,527 --> 00:24:16,573 That's... 421 00:24:16,641 --> 00:24:18,945 One of your cool ideas? 422 00:24:20,378 --> 00:24:24,273 It's very bizarre to hear you say that. 423 00:24:29,908 --> 00:24:30,988 Trent. 424 00:24:31,409 --> 00:24:33,115 Meet my new friend, Bickford. 425 00:24:34,613 --> 00:24:36,859 Craptastic. 426 00:24:38,750 --> 00:24:39,851 SARA: How could you throw it away 427 00:24:39,885 --> 00:24:41,628 after how much I told you it meant to me? 428 00:24:41,707 --> 00:24:43,607 - I thought it sucked. - Oh, bullshit. 429 00:24:43,656 --> 00:24:44,894 You're just jealous. 430 00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,907 What did you expect when you told me you'd fuck the guy who wrote it? 431 00:24:47,980 --> 00:24:49,747 - Fuck? - I didn't say it like that. 432 00:24:49,855 --> 00:24:51,490 TRENT: Yeah, you did, as a matter of fact. 433 00:24:51,509 --> 00:24:53,740 "Ooh, ooh, his words are so orgasmic." 434 00:24:53,792 --> 00:24:55,084 "My toes are just tingling." 435 00:24:55,128 --> 00:24:56,696 Excuse him, he's an asshole. 436 00:24:56,862 --> 00:24:59,331 Hey, asshole man! It's not here. 437 00:24:59,384 --> 00:25:00,831 You positive this is the right can? 438 00:25:00,926 --> 00:25:02,005 Yeah, that's it. 439 00:25:02,088 --> 00:25:03,389 Then where's The Book? 440 00:25:03,868 --> 00:25:06,204 Hey, I already apologized, like, a billion times. 441 00:25:06,278 --> 00:25:08,490 - What do you want? - Justice! Come here. 442 00:25:08,527 --> 00:25:09,590 Whoa, whoa, hey! 443 00:25:09,801 --> 00:25:13,117 Wait. Hold on, man. Look, look, I got 200 bucks, okay? 444 00:25:13,692 --> 00:25:15,460 Oh, Trent, don't go there. 445 00:25:15,500 --> 00:25:16,579 That's mine? 446 00:25:18,190 --> 00:25:20,192 Take it. Just, you know, buy another notebook 447 00:25:20,366 --> 00:25:21,633 or diary or whatever and rewrite it. 448 00:25:23,769 --> 00:25:24,864 Whoa, Bick! 449 00:25:25,197 --> 00:25:27,424 Bick, hey, just... Wait. 450 00:25:27,639 --> 00:25:29,274 Ooh! 451 00:25:31,810 --> 00:25:33,278 [GROANS] 452 00:25:33,439 --> 00:25:36,241 This isn't about money, you smug, pretentious lemming. 453 00:25:36,301 --> 00:25:38,136 [GRUNTING] 454 00:25:38,364 --> 00:25:39,771 I think I'm ruptured. 455 00:25:41,117 --> 00:25:43,124 Well I got no more use for you. 456 00:25:43,746 --> 00:25:44,972 Oh, Bick... 457 00:25:45,258 --> 00:25:47,766 Come on, Bick. I didn't know he was going to throw it away. 458 00:25:47,799 --> 00:25:49,364 It's not even really my fault. 459 00:25:49,670 --> 00:25:50,689 Let me make it up to you. 460 00:25:50,736 --> 00:25:52,730 Make it up to me! How? 461 00:25:52,985 --> 00:25:54,370 You've destroyed my life. 462 00:25:55,360 --> 00:25:58,023 You can't make it up to me. The Book is gone. 463 00:25:59,230 --> 00:26:00,275 It's gone! 464 00:26:00,619 --> 00:26:01,753 Gone! 465 00:26:02,281 --> 00:26:05,620 ♪ I'm going back Where I come from ♪ 466 00:26:06,732 --> 00:26:10,765 ♪ I'm going back Where I come from ♪ 467 00:26:11,337 --> 00:26:15,369 ♪ I'm going back To Jive County ♪ 468 00:26:16,208 --> 00:26:19,879 ♪ I'm going back To Jive County ♪ 469 00:26:19,912 --> 00:26:23,382 [PHONE RINGING] 470 00:26:26,718 --> 00:26:27,734 Hello? 471 00:26:27,987 --> 00:26:29,033 BICKFORD: Ralph? 472 00:26:29,828 --> 00:26:30,847 Hey, Bick. 473 00:26:31,457 --> 00:26:33,001 Where are you? Out partying? 474 00:26:33,225 --> 00:26:35,581 [SIGHS] I'm in the basement. 475 00:26:35,786 --> 00:26:39,438 That's 30 feet away. Why... Why are you calling me? 476 00:26:40,098 --> 00:26:41,975 I just didn't feel like the hike is all. 477 00:26:42,778 --> 00:26:44,725 I just want to express my gratitude, Ralph. 478 00:26:45,271 --> 00:26:46,913 Hmm? For what? 479 00:26:47,405 --> 00:26:48,661 I know you don't know me. 480 00:26:49,108 --> 00:26:50,643 I've only been here a couple weeks. 481 00:26:50,676 --> 00:26:53,646 But I... I appreciate the honest attempt you've made 482 00:26:53,679 --> 00:26:54,914 to be kind to me. 483 00:26:57,015 --> 00:26:58,092 But... 484 00:26:59,265 --> 00:27:00,900 I'm going away... 485 00:27:02,033 --> 00:27:03,115 For good. 486 00:27:04,389 --> 00:27:05,834 What do you mean, "for good," Bick? 487 00:27:06,202 --> 00:27:08,554 Bitch of it all is that I was almost finished. 488 00:27:09,695 --> 00:27:12,265 Just looking for a way to tie it all together. 489 00:27:13,632 --> 00:27:14,466 [SIGHS] 490 00:27:14,500 --> 00:27:18,003 A summation, a final chapter, an end. 491 00:27:18,125 --> 00:27:20,259 But now I just, I feel... 492 00:27:21,065 --> 00:27:23,425 like I'm trapped in a Moebius strip. 493 00:27:23,529 --> 00:27:26,113 What, what's a Moebius strip, Bick? 494 00:27:27,206 --> 00:27:29,363 An infinite looping figure eight, Ralph. 495 00:27:30,515 --> 00:27:36,422 Doomed to repeat the same things over and over throughout time indefinitely. 496 00:27:37,608 --> 00:27:39,878 It's cool, actually, if you... 497 00:27:41,299 --> 00:27:42,437 Never mind. 498 00:27:43,048 --> 00:27:44,429 I'm going away, Ralph. 499 00:27:46,390 --> 00:27:47,430 I'm gone. 500 00:27:48,599 --> 00:27:49,571 So long, pal. 501 00:27:50,462 --> 00:27:51,863 Bick, hey... [DIAL TONE] 502 00:27:52,109 --> 00:27:53,945 Bick. Bick. 503 00:27:58,878 --> 00:28:00,680 [DIALING] 504 00:28:15,995 --> 00:28:17,697 [DOORBELL RINGS] 505 00:28:20,326 --> 00:28:21,727 [KNOCKING] 506 00:28:22,275 --> 00:28:23,643 One second! 507 00:28:31,884 --> 00:28:33,486 Are you Bickford Shmeckler? 508 00:28:34,214 --> 00:28:37,088 I'd like to speak to Sheldon Shmeckler, please. 509 00:28:37,316 --> 00:28:38,843 WOMAN: Who may I tell him who's calling? 510 00:28:39,243 --> 00:28:40,263 His son. 511 00:28:40,332 --> 00:28:41,433 [KNOCKING AT DOOR] 512 00:28:41,994 --> 00:28:45,257 RALPH: Hey, Bick, someone's here to see you. 513 00:28:45,290 --> 00:28:47,692 He says... He says he knows about The Book. 514 00:28:47,726 --> 00:28:49,428 - DAD: Hello, Bickford. - He says he found it. 515 00:28:49,461 --> 00:28:51,030 - Bickford? - Uh... 516 00:28:51,102 --> 00:28:52,202 Bickford, hello? 517 00:28:52,249 --> 00:28:53,475 RALPH: Come on, Bick. 518 00:28:55,367 --> 00:28:57,110 RALPH: His name's Spaceman. 519 00:28:57,502 --> 00:29:01,063 He's a homeless guy who hangs out in the quad and begs for quarters. 520 00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:02,739 Everyone knows him. 521 00:29:03,121 --> 00:29:05,557 He's a great Frisbee player. 522 00:29:06,812 --> 00:29:08,013 Thank you. 523 00:29:08,046 --> 00:29:09,715 We're Frisbee communicators. 524 00:29:09,748 --> 00:29:11,617 Right, and you have The Book? 525 00:29:11,817 --> 00:29:12,968 Just... 526 00:29:19,785 --> 00:29:20,798 What's this? 527 00:29:23,068 --> 00:29:24,937 You ripped out the first page? 528 00:29:25,029 --> 00:29:26,110 Help us. 529 00:29:27,466 --> 00:29:28,934 Help us, Bickford Shmeckler. 530 00:29:28,967 --> 00:29:33,104 Only you could understand an extra-dimensional ship... 531 00:29:33,406 --> 00:29:36,816 crashed into our temporal lobes, co-opting our sight, 532 00:29:37,123 --> 00:29:41,963 sound perception, our motor skills, our most basic fundaments. 533 00:29:42,220 --> 00:29:46,658 They give us horrible, horrible migraines. 534 00:29:47,438 --> 00:29:49,998 He sounds a bit like you. 535 00:29:50,589 --> 00:29:53,325 He's a severely delusional schizophrenic, Ralph. 536 00:29:53,359 --> 00:29:55,194 He is? How do you know that? 537 00:29:55,227 --> 00:29:56,333 [SCOFFS] 538 00:29:58,144 --> 00:30:00,276 Listen, Spaceman. 539 00:30:00,566 --> 00:30:02,201 If you have my book, I want it back. 540 00:30:02,301 --> 00:30:03,418 After. 541 00:30:03,735 --> 00:30:04,770 First. 542 00:30:07,658 --> 00:30:08,751 Listen. 543 00:30:10,309 --> 00:30:12,777 [RADIO STATIC] 544 00:30:12,811 --> 00:30:15,243 That's free digital acoustic waves. 545 00:30:16,328 --> 00:30:18,764 Is that some funky shit or what? 546 00:30:19,585 --> 00:30:21,154 I'm lost, man. 547 00:30:21,273 --> 00:30:25,243 SPACEMAN: Bickford Shmeckler, science and reason. 548 00:30:25,303 --> 00:30:26,765 You understand. 549 00:30:27,819 --> 00:30:29,260 To the stars... 550 00:30:30,359 --> 00:30:31,500 we'll go. 551 00:30:32,992 --> 00:30:34,273 They'll go. 552 00:30:36,274 --> 00:30:37,334 Home. 553 00:30:38,804 --> 00:30:41,986 I believe this deranged person wants me to get aliens out of his head. 554 00:30:42,088 --> 00:30:43,113 That's it! 555 00:30:43,294 --> 00:30:45,562 With your help, I can expurgate 556 00:30:45,677 --> 00:30:48,280 - these extra-dimensionals. - Who? 557 00:30:48,314 --> 00:30:50,482 The aliens in his head are extra-dimensionals. 558 00:30:50,515 --> 00:30:52,395 Oh, no, no, okay. Yeah. 559 00:30:53,197 --> 00:30:54,888 Spaceman, uh... 560 00:30:56,268 --> 00:30:58,725 just give me The Book back. 561 00:30:58,923 --> 00:31:00,505 - Then I'll help you. - No. 562 00:31:01,894 --> 00:31:04,833 Fine, no help, and you're going to give me The Book back anyway. 563 00:31:05,051 --> 00:31:06,370 Help us, or we'll burn it. 564 00:31:06,811 --> 00:31:07,890 You wouldn't dare. 565 00:31:08,166 --> 00:31:09,258 Try us. 566 00:31:09,605 --> 00:31:11,451 - You wouldn't like us. - I'll call the police. 567 00:31:11,488 --> 00:31:12,968 That won't save The Book. 568 00:31:15,801 --> 00:31:16,866 God! 569 00:31:16,908 --> 00:31:18,766 I'd say it's schizo's ball game. 570 00:31:21,112 --> 00:31:23,949 [FAINT ROCK MUSIC] 571 00:31:32,558 --> 00:31:33,692 Rob. Wait, Rob. 572 00:31:33,725 --> 00:31:36,595 Let's... Let's... Let's talk. 573 00:31:36,628 --> 00:31:38,430 Let's share some thoughts. 574 00:31:38,463 --> 00:31:40,032 You mean, like, talk talk? 575 00:31:40,065 --> 00:31:41,957 Yeah, yeah. Blow my mind. 576 00:31:42,013 --> 00:31:43,180 Okay, cool. 577 00:31:43,254 --> 00:31:45,104 - I can do that. - Okay. 578 00:31:46,044 --> 00:31:49,184 Sara, you're so sexy. 579 00:31:49,274 --> 00:31:51,825 You're on. 580 00:31:52,203 --> 00:31:55,406 You're fuckably fuckalicious. 581 00:31:56,073 --> 00:31:57,929 You got me hot as fuck. 582 00:31:58,783 --> 00:32:00,664 You like talking dirty, don't you? 583 00:32:01,253 --> 00:32:02,454 Oh, sweet tits. 584 00:32:02,487 --> 00:32:04,776 No, no, no, Rob, no. 585 00:32:05,162 --> 00:32:07,665 Talk, I mean, like a conversation. 586 00:32:07,926 --> 00:32:10,081 I'll still be sexy later, I promise. 587 00:32:10,895 --> 00:32:12,798 I thought you said you and Trent broke up. 588 00:32:13,392 --> 00:32:14,453 Yeah. 589 00:32:15,059 --> 00:32:16,250 Yeah, I... 590 00:32:16,802 --> 00:32:19,438 Rob, I... This doesn't feel right anymore. 591 00:32:19,471 --> 00:32:20,831 I can't do this. 592 00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:24,088 Sara, you're the one that wanted to make out in the first place. 593 00:32:24,769 --> 00:32:26,137 You seduced me. 594 00:32:26,224 --> 00:32:27,459 Yeah. 595 00:32:27,940 --> 00:32:29,271 Yeah, I guess I did. 596 00:32:29,795 --> 00:32:30,855 I just... 597 00:32:31,917 --> 00:32:35,660 I guess it's 'cause you're kind of hunky, and I thought this would be fun, but... 598 00:32:36,421 --> 00:32:38,524 But what? 599 00:32:39,143 --> 00:32:40,344 You're not fun. 600 00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:43,161 I'm not fun? 601 00:32:43,195 --> 00:32:45,264 No, no, not at all. 602 00:32:46,699 --> 00:32:49,868 What do you mean? Like, my technique? 603 00:32:49,902 --> 00:32:53,755 Yeah, that, and also you're just... 604 00:32:54,072 --> 00:32:57,741 You make my skin crawl just being you. 605 00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:03,565 That's devastating. 606 00:33:04,102 --> 00:33:05,239 Yeah. 607 00:33:05,617 --> 00:33:06,795 Well... 608 00:33:09,341 --> 00:33:10,455 sorry. 609 00:33:13,558 --> 00:33:14,827 BICKFORD: Spaceman, regardless 610 00:33:14,860 --> 00:33:17,426 of how I help you interpret this random collection 611 00:33:17,479 --> 00:33:21,266 of scientific gobbledygook... 612 00:33:21,300 --> 00:33:22,400 Gobbledygook. 613 00:33:22,434 --> 00:33:24,703 Yeah, regardless of what we do... 614 00:33:24,736 --> 00:33:26,605 Build a rocket ship, a time machine, 615 00:33:26,638 --> 00:33:28,807 an atomic plasma-powered slingshot... 616 00:33:28,841 --> 00:33:31,576 Good. That's good, atomic plasma... 617 00:33:31,609 --> 00:33:33,011 That's excellent. 618 00:33:33,045 --> 00:33:34,012 All right, whatever. 619 00:33:34,046 --> 00:33:35,780 Those aliens are never going to leave your head, 620 00:33:35,814 --> 00:33:38,236 because you're sick, mentally. 621 00:33:39,625 --> 00:33:40,826 All right? 622 00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:42,688 You need medication. 623 00:33:42,721 --> 00:33:43,956 Do you mean drugs? 624 00:33:44,823 --> 00:33:47,560 Yes, powerful psychiatric drugs. 625 00:33:48,861 --> 00:33:50,153 Have you ever tried them? 626 00:33:50,695 --> 00:33:52,659 Peridol, Zolam, lithium, 627 00:33:52,764 --> 00:33:54,232 LSD, peyote. 628 00:33:54,466 --> 00:33:57,236 Pretty girl. Pretty girl in a doily right behind you. 629 00:34:00,251 --> 00:34:01,371 You. 630 00:34:01,786 --> 00:34:02,844 Bick. 631 00:34:03,275 --> 00:34:04,142 [CLEARS THROAT] 632 00:34:04,176 --> 00:34:06,178 Contrary to what you obviously believe, 633 00:34:06,211 --> 00:34:07,780 I am not void of emotions. 634 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:11,212 I've been feeling like crap for days. 635 00:34:11,884 --> 00:34:16,794 And Ralph told me about The Book and Spaceman 636 00:34:16,861 --> 00:34:18,441 - and this whole... - Expedition. 637 00:34:18,791 --> 00:34:20,946 It's... This is an expedition. 638 00:34:21,013 --> 00:34:22,027 Right. 639 00:34:23,161 --> 00:34:26,196 So I just want you to know that I... 640 00:34:26,711 --> 00:34:29,014 I can't express how sorry I am... 641 00:34:30,388 --> 00:34:32,124 Not with words. 642 00:34:34,065 --> 00:34:35,395 Draw us a diagram. 643 00:34:36,341 --> 00:34:37,510 [SIGHS] 644 00:34:37,556 --> 00:34:40,423 I'm involved in a Herculean struggle for sanity here, Sara. 645 00:34:40,470 --> 00:34:42,913 I don't have time to deal with your pithy... 646 00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:45,620 pith. 647 00:34:47,052 --> 00:34:50,011 Quit punishing yourself for being a virgin. 648 00:34:50,255 --> 00:34:51,556 It's the human condition. 649 00:34:51,589 --> 00:34:54,759 We were all born virgins, and maybe you're just a late bloomer. 650 00:34:54,793 --> 00:34:56,290 I was too, you know. 651 00:34:56,523 --> 00:34:58,329 So that's my problem now, lack of sex? 652 00:34:58,363 --> 00:35:00,799 That's it? Great. Great. 653 00:35:00,825 --> 00:35:03,138 Thank you so much, Dr. Klepto. 654 00:35:03,568 --> 00:35:05,737 That's his problem, definitely, sex. 655 00:35:05,771 --> 00:35:06,838 Who asked you? 656 00:35:07,885 --> 00:35:09,831 Bob, you dickfor. 657 00:35:09,925 --> 00:35:11,971 It took me 20 minutes to set that dungeon. 658 00:35:12,144 --> 00:35:14,079 You guys are not going to believe this. 659 00:35:14,472 --> 00:35:15,640 You know Spaceman? 660 00:35:15,804 --> 00:35:17,562 Yeah, that dude who hangs out in the dyad? 661 00:35:17,649 --> 00:35:19,236 - Talks to aliens. - Plays Frisbee. 662 00:35:19,271 --> 00:35:20,706 Yes, him. Okay. 663 00:35:20,853 --> 00:35:22,955 He comes by the shack sometimes when I'm working, okay? 664 00:35:22,988 --> 00:35:24,555 I give him, you know, broken stuff 665 00:35:24,589 --> 00:35:26,986 like keyboards, remote controls. 666 00:35:27,292 --> 00:35:29,661 Anyway, he knows me, and he trusts me, right? 667 00:35:29,694 --> 00:35:31,530 DOUG: Bob, we're mid-battle 668 00:35:31,563 --> 00:35:33,498 with a lich, two Medusa, 669 00:35:33,531 --> 00:35:34,799 and 40 skeleton warriors. 670 00:35:34,833 --> 00:35:35,815 Thirty-one skeletons. 671 00:35:35,860 --> 00:35:37,729 My sorceress destroyed nine with a fireball spell. 672 00:35:37,790 --> 00:35:38,895 Listen to me. 673 00:35:38,990 --> 00:35:41,935 Yesterday Spaceman comes into the shack with this book. 674 00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:43,208 He says he wants me to hold on to it 675 00:35:43,241 --> 00:35:44,809 for safekeeping, that people are after him. 676 00:35:44,843 --> 00:35:46,133 You know, he'll come back for it. 677 00:35:46,391 --> 00:35:48,426 I ask him if it's his diary. 678 00:35:48,519 --> 00:35:50,454 He says, no, he found it in a garbage can. 679 00:35:50,799 --> 00:35:54,046 Doesn't want to have it on him in case Interpol comes and shakes him down, right? 680 00:35:56,374 --> 00:35:57,653 I had to have a peek. 681 00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:02,901 It's unbelievable. 682 00:36:03,895 --> 00:36:05,730 It's brain-melting, poetic... 683 00:36:05,764 --> 00:36:08,606 It is the Communist Manifesto of cool ideas. 684 00:36:08,900 --> 00:36:11,403 And, therefore, what? 685 00:36:12,604 --> 00:36:13,880 I'm quitting the game. 686 00:36:13,919 --> 00:36:16,054 Quitting? Why? 687 00:36:16,141 --> 00:36:17,642 Wait, for good? 688 00:36:17,842 --> 00:36:19,340 For the foreseeable future. 689 00:36:20,078 --> 00:36:21,814 You know, after reading The Book, 690 00:36:22,914 --> 00:36:25,665 Dungeons & Dragons just seems like a bunch of people, you know, 691 00:36:26,390 --> 00:36:28,192 taking on imaginary roles. 692 00:36:29,187 --> 00:36:31,923 - That's what it is. - BOB: Yeah. 693 00:36:31,950 --> 00:36:36,937 But The Book, it makes life seem more interesting than D&D. 694 00:36:37,002 --> 00:36:38,299 [ALL DISAGREEING] 695 00:36:38,512 --> 00:36:39,733 You can't quit. 696 00:36:39,864 --> 00:36:41,233 Without your Elfin rogue-illusionist, 697 00:36:41,266 --> 00:36:43,268 we're never going to make it to the next level. 698 00:36:43,301 --> 00:36:46,450 You're... He's carrying the Wand of the Crimson Magi. 699 00:36:46,517 --> 00:36:47,906 If you're out, I'm stealing that wand. 700 00:36:47,940 --> 00:36:49,040 You cannot grave rob. 701 00:36:49,073 --> 00:36:50,909 Yes, he can. He's chaotic neutral. 702 00:36:51,462 --> 00:36:52,823 BOB: Read The Book, people. 703 00:36:53,278 --> 00:36:56,120 If you don't agree that it is a veritable classic that, 704 00:36:56,174 --> 00:36:58,084 but for the grace of God, whose... 705 00:36:58,224 --> 00:37:00,185 existence The Book debates rather interestingly, 706 00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:03,687 was saved from oblivion by Spaceman picking garbage, 707 00:37:03,709 --> 00:37:05,277 I will... I will... 708 00:37:06,792 --> 00:37:09,390 I'll buy you, each one of you, a ticket 709 00:37:10,395 --> 00:37:12,704 for next week's Buffy and Xena convention. 710 00:37:13,131 --> 00:37:14,694 I'm reading The Book. 711 00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:16,134 Dibs on Buffy. 712 00:37:16,167 --> 00:37:17,836 - Xena. - I'll get both of them. 713 00:37:17,870 --> 00:37:19,238 - Let's do it. - You totally wish. 714 00:37:19,271 --> 00:37:20,669 Just read The Book. 715 00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:26,646 BICKFORD: The Moon is 238,857 miles from Earth. 716 00:37:28,172 --> 00:37:31,205 With the right lens, it looks like you could just reach out and touch it. 717 00:37:33,385 --> 00:37:34,642 What I want you to do 718 00:37:34,805 --> 00:37:36,662 is turn that telescopic view 719 00:37:36,948 --> 00:37:38,275 inside your mind. 720 00:37:39,257 --> 00:37:41,580 I want you to get a good beat on those aliens. 721 00:37:41,786 --> 00:37:42,993 I want you to see them 722 00:37:43,401 --> 00:37:46,597 and that extra-dimensional spaceship of theirs. 723 00:37:47,666 --> 00:37:49,808 I want... I want you to reach in 724 00:37:50,435 --> 00:37:52,036 and flick them. 725 00:37:52,203 --> 00:37:53,805 You can't just flick a spaceship. 726 00:37:53,838 --> 00:37:55,038 It's too heavy. 727 00:37:55,465 --> 00:37:57,302 And the trajection wouldn't even be accurate. 728 00:37:57,342 --> 00:38:01,087 The theory of meta-lunar clairvoyant projection is bunk. 729 00:38:03,787 --> 00:38:07,714 Spaceman, I have been uber-patient with you, all right? 730 00:38:08,887 --> 00:38:10,015 But I've had it. 731 00:38:11,523 --> 00:38:15,527 I've had it! Had it, had it, had it, had it, all right? 732 00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:18,997 And I've come to a decision that as far as I can see 733 00:38:19,030 --> 00:38:21,528 is the only cogent way out of this predicament for me. 734 00:38:21,900 --> 00:38:24,469 I want my book returned now, or I will kill you. 735 00:38:24,502 --> 00:38:25,708 Do you understand that? 736 00:38:26,138 --> 00:38:28,674 Even your strange brain can surely access 737 00:38:28,707 --> 00:38:30,469 the instinct of self-preservation, man. 738 00:38:30,648 --> 00:38:31,720 Use it. 739 00:38:33,178 --> 00:38:35,947 If I give you your book back, you'll abandon us, 740 00:38:35,980 --> 00:38:38,083 like everyone else has abandoned us. 741 00:38:38,116 --> 00:38:40,818 Fine! Fine! Fine, fine! 742 00:38:40,852 --> 00:38:41,940 All right, that's fine. 743 00:38:42,254 --> 00:38:43,267 That's okay. 744 00:38:44,115 --> 00:38:45,127 That's that, then. 745 00:38:45,791 --> 00:38:46,958 The next time you see me, 746 00:38:46,991 --> 00:38:49,153 I'll be stabbing you to death, all right? 747 00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:50,620 All of you. 748 00:38:53,398 --> 00:38:56,000 [OVER BULLHORN] Bickford Shmeckler, we need your help. 749 00:38:56,074 --> 00:38:58,810 You have to help us! Please don't leave us, Bickford! 750 00:38:59,337 --> 00:39:02,841 Tired of thinking the same old shit? 751 00:39:02,874 --> 00:39:04,208 Read The Book. 752 00:39:04,234 --> 00:39:06,153 Are you looking for a new adventure? 753 00:39:06,578 --> 00:39:07,714 Read The Book. 754 00:39:08,019 --> 00:39:10,362 Look your mind's eye right in the face. 755 00:39:10,695 --> 00:39:12,829 Get inspired. It's free. 756 00:39:13,798 --> 00:39:15,433 Tired of the same old shit? 757 00:39:15,567 --> 00:39:16,834 Take a copy, comrade. 758 00:39:16,922 --> 00:39:19,481 The revolution begins in your imagination. 759 00:39:19,631 --> 00:39:20,866 You don't say? 760 00:39:21,492 --> 00:39:22,573 I do. 761 00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:24,322 Get inspired. 762 00:39:24,715 --> 00:39:26,889 Are you looking for a new adventure? 763 00:39:27,232 --> 00:39:29,925 Are you tired of thinking the same old shit? 764 00:39:30,134 --> 00:39:32,399 Oh, take a copy, brother. 765 00:39:33,038 --> 00:39:35,117 Oh, you look a lost soul who could use it. 766 00:39:35,271 --> 00:39:36,762 I'm busy. Move. 767 00:39:37,008 --> 00:39:38,276 Take a copy. It's free. 768 00:39:38,310 --> 00:39:39,748 It tickles the frontal lobe. 769 00:39:41,108 --> 00:39:42,075 Dude, dude. 770 00:39:42,100 --> 00:39:43,608 - Damn it. - Dude! 771 00:39:43,748 --> 00:39:47,018 The world doesn't need any more self-important student poets. 772 00:39:47,052 --> 00:39:49,988 Ha-ha, that's fucking... Cock. 773 00:39:51,361 --> 00:39:53,466 Ah, I don't know. 774 00:39:53,518 --> 00:39:55,431 - You were strong. - Yeah. 775 00:39:56,137 --> 00:39:57,168 Good one. 776 00:39:58,322 --> 00:39:59,874 Watch this special move. 777 00:40:01,079 --> 00:40:02,904 [CRASHING] 778 00:40:03,301 --> 00:40:04,770 BICKFORD: What's that doing there, P.J.? 779 00:40:04,803 --> 00:40:06,457 Jesus Christ, clean your shit up. 780 00:40:08,086 --> 00:40:10,155 [CLATTERING] 781 00:40:15,967 --> 00:40:17,729 Where are the butcher knives? 782 00:40:19,150 --> 00:40:20,463 I don't think we have any. 783 00:40:20,511 --> 00:40:22,012 [BICKFORD SCREAMS] 784 00:40:22,220 --> 00:40:24,443 There's some steak knives in the drawer. 785 00:40:24,548 --> 00:40:26,384 Steak knives are too small! 786 00:40:32,397 --> 00:40:33,832 [TRIUMPHANTLY] Ha! 787 00:40:33,865 --> 00:40:35,500 This is perfect, it's fearsome. 788 00:40:35,534 --> 00:40:38,236 Wait, wait, wait. Bick, you're not thinking of... 789 00:40:38,937 --> 00:40:40,238 What are you thinking? 790 00:40:40,271 --> 00:40:41,855 You wouldn't know it to look at me, Ralph, 791 00:40:42,013 --> 00:40:44,676 but I'm a murderer, a cold-blooded ax-man. 792 00:40:45,043 --> 00:40:46,782 Desperate times call for desperate measures. 793 00:40:46,908 --> 00:40:48,946 If Spaceman doesn't give me The Book back, I swear to God... 794 00:40:48,980 --> 00:40:50,982 Okay, whoa, whoa, Bick! Bick, whoa! 795 00:40:51,342 --> 00:40:53,345 Slow, slow. 796 00:40:54,251 --> 00:40:55,987 Do the math, all right? 797 00:40:56,020 --> 00:40:57,722 - Now... - Ha! 798 00:40:57,756 --> 00:41:02,393 You threaten Spaceman with that turkey fork, right? 799 00:41:02,427 --> 00:41:04,529 You ask him for The Book, and he refuses. 800 00:41:04,563 --> 00:41:06,407 And he will refuse, because he's... 801 00:41:07,307 --> 00:41:09,147 deranged, what then? 802 00:41:10,502 --> 00:41:12,003 Then he gets a free tracheotomy. 803 00:41:12,036 --> 00:41:14,472 And The Book? What about The Book? What about The Book? 804 00:41:14,505 --> 00:41:17,209 He's the only person who knows where it is. 805 00:41:17,881 --> 00:41:19,317 You'll never find it again. 806 00:41:20,651 --> 00:41:21,890 And you'll go to jail. 807 00:41:23,968 --> 00:41:25,902 It's a credible threat, Ralph. 808 00:41:25,930 --> 00:41:28,252 Mutual assured destruction. 809 00:41:28,687 --> 00:41:31,356 If it helped to stop a nuclear war with the Soviet Union, 810 00:41:31,390 --> 00:41:34,106 surely Spaceman's going to understand that... 811 00:41:37,195 --> 00:41:39,216 Spaceman isn't going to understand shit. 812 00:41:41,253 --> 00:41:42,456 No, he won't. 813 00:41:46,371 --> 00:41:48,068 Goddamn tyranny of logic. 814 00:41:56,982 --> 00:41:58,517 [DOORBELL RINGS] 815 00:42:00,219 --> 00:42:01,439 Hello. 816 00:42:01,478 --> 00:42:02,572 Hi. 817 00:42:02,954 --> 00:42:04,967 I'm Trent Masterton to see Sara Witt. 818 00:42:05,123 --> 00:42:06,824 Hmm. 819 00:42:05,123 --> 00:42:06,824 You're Trent. 820 00:42:06,858 --> 00:42:08,260 The poser boyfriend. 821 00:42:09,234 --> 00:42:10,307 She called me a poser? 822 00:42:10,374 --> 00:42:11,474 Among other things. 823 00:42:11,529 --> 00:42:12,594 Also a four-letter word for... 824 00:42:12,629 --> 00:42:13,741 [BOTH] Penis. 825 00:42:14,365 --> 00:42:17,202 Okay, all right. Is Sara in or not? 826 00:42:17,589 --> 00:42:18,749 [BOTH] Maybe. 827 00:42:19,264 --> 00:42:21,465 Okay, well, could you at least make sure she gets this? 828 00:42:21,505 --> 00:42:22,929 - Please? - What's in it? 829 00:42:23,302 --> 00:42:24,776 None of your beeswax. 830 00:42:24,809 --> 00:42:26,077 Is it expensive? 831 00:42:26,110 --> 00:42:27,470 Looks good. Let me see. 832 00:42:27,930 --> 00:42:30,314 Hey, can you give the box to Sara, please? 833 00:42:30,648 --> 00:42:31,750 Sure. 834 00:42:31,783 --> 00:42:32,850 We'll get it to her. 835 00:42:32,950 --> 00:42:34,490 Take care. Bye-bye. 836 00:42:34,533 --> 00:42:35,617 Hey! 837 00:42:36,307 --> 00:42:37,520 She better get that! 838 00:42:59,908 --> 00:43:01,818 Did you know that the Sun... 839 00:43:02,045 --> 00:43:05,452 is going to implode and take out the entire solar system... 840 00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:08,853 and all of humanity with it? 841 00:43:08,979 --> 00:43:10,605 - I heard that. - Yeah. 842 00:43:11,434 --> 00:43:12,867 Doesn't that bother you? 843 00:43:13,605 --> 00:43:16,031 Makes everything seem so futile. 844 00:43:17,677 --> 00:43:19,570 Not really, no. 845 00:43:20,636 --> 00:43:23,250 That's existentialism. 846 00:43:24,684 --> 00:43:27,337 That's like your essence over existence. 847 00:43:27,916 --> 00:43:30,549 Ideas like that make me feel sexy. 848 00:43:31,992 --> 00:43:33,506 Then you gotta read this book. 849 00:43:33,599 --> 00:43:36,526 [LIVELY ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC] 850 00:43:41,664 --> 00:43:43,533 [BEEPING] 851 00:44:00,082 --> 00:44:01,858 [CLEARS THROAT] Excuse me. 852 00:44:02,412 --> 00:44:05,232 Does one use a withdrawal, 853 00:44:05,438 --> 00:44:08,124 a deferment, or an incomplete form if one is flipping out 854 00:44:08,158 --> 00:44:09,992 and one needs some time to get one's head together 855 00:44:10,025 --> 00:44:14,312 and one doesn't want to stick his dad with a useless tuition bill? 856 00:44:14,764 --> 00:44:16,399 You mean you need a medical leave? 857 00:44:17,779 --> 00:44:18,779 Maybe. 858 00:44:19,536 --> 00:44:22,505 [VELVETY PLAYING] 859 00:44:32,820 --> 00:44:36,318 ♪ Out on the Eisenhower Where I lost my speed ♪ 860 00:44:36,352 --> 00:44:40,222 ♪ Just a little bit south Of a town called Weed ♪ 861 00:44:40,255 --> 00:44:43,526 ♪ I heard a voice And I had to stop ♪ 862 00:44:43,559 --> 00:44:46,262 ♪ She called me Over that mountain top ♪ 863 00:44:46,295 --> 00:44:49,766 ♪ I was a poor soul lost In the shady trees ♪ 864 00:44:49,799 --> 00:44:53,936 ♪ I was going to die I was going to freeze ♪ 865 00:44:53,970 --> 00:44:56,996 ♪ Then she touched me ♪ 866 00:44:57,239 --> 00:44:59,242 ♪ She was velvety ♪ 867 00:45:02,415 --> 00:45:03,980 [COUGHING] 868 00:45:04,601 --> 00:45:08,021 ♪ She'll never tell ♪ 869 00:45:08,051 --> 00:45:12,655 ♪ She made the strangest sounds 870 00:45:12,688 --> 00:45:14,557 [LAUGHS] 871 00:45:22,745 --> 00:45:23,867 Mmm. 872 00:45:25,001 --> 00:45:26,235 BOB: Read The Book. 873 00:45:26,269 --> 00:45:28,604 Take it. Put it in your cranium. 874 00:45:28,933 --> 00:45:32,242 Look your mind's eye right in the face, huh? 875 00:45:32,388 --> 00:45:33,953 What does it mean? Read The Book. 876 00:45:34,210 --> 00:45:36,466 Read The Book, buddy. Read The Book. 877 00:45:37,846 --> 00:45:40,283 Come on, people. Read it. 878 00:45:41,284 --> 00:45:42,885 Hey, read The Book! 879 00:45:42,918 --> 00:45:44,253 The Book? No. 880 00:45:44,287 --> 00:45:45,726 MAN: May I help you? 881 00:45:46,390 --> 00:45:47,590 Popsicle? 882 00:45:47,623 --> 00:45:48,863 Malt cup? 883 00:45:49,404 --> 00:45:50,777 Frog on a stick? 884 00:45:58,594 --> 00:45:59,614 Laced! 885 00:45:59,634 --> 00:46:02,260 That asshole laced my stuff! 886 00:46:05,796 --> 00:46:06,834 Help! 887 00:46:07,262 --> 00:46:10,070 Hey, I need help. I am hallucinating. 888 00:46:12,614 --> 00:46:13,810 Call 911. 889 00:46:17,034 --> 00:46:19,470 Our senses work in spectrums, all right? 890 00:46:19,623 --> 00:46:20,895 Take sight, for example. 891 00:46:21,057 --> 00:46:24,140 Your eyes can only see energy in the visible light spectrum. 892 00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:27,073 Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet. 893 00:46:27,175 --> 00:46:28,935 Yeah like a prism, I understand. 894 00:46:28,987 --> 00:46:33,580 All right. Those colors you can see are only an infinitesimal fraction 895 00:46:33,606 --> 00:46:36,575 of the energy spectrums that actually exist. 896 00:46:36,794 --> 00:46:40,038 It's the same with sound, taste, smell, touch, everything. 897 00:46:40,246 --> 00:46:44,484 We exist in this narrow band of perception. 898 00:46:44,568 --> 00:46:47,988 All right? It makes something as simple as just thinking clearly, 899 00:46:48,053 --> 00:46:50,623 frankly, impossible. 900 00:46:50,710 --> 00:46:54,319 And that's why you're withdrawing from school, 901 00:46:54,399 --> 00:47:00,499 because of this, what, cosmic intruding stuff? 902 00:47:00,759 --> 00:47:05,229 Well, I mean, there are other mitigating factors, 903 00:47:05,263 --> 00:47:08,032 but those are harder to explain. 904 00:47:08,822 --> 00:47:10,316 [SIGHS] 905 00:47:10,341 --> 00:47:11,642 Okay. 906 00:47:14,333 --> 00:47:15,412 Bickford. 907 00:47:17,713 --> 00:47:19,966 I think I know why you're upset and... 908 00:47:22,033 --> 00:47:24,651 it's got nothing to do with your book. 909 00:47:25,471 --> 00:47:26,622 Enlighten me. 910 00:47:27,732 --> 00:47:29,401 [SIGHS] 911 00:47:30,763 --> 00:47:31,787 I mean, 912 00:47:33,369 --> 00:47:35,769 I've had feelings of loneliness too... 913 00:47:36,454 --> 00:47:37,634 you know, and... 914 00:47:38,507 --> 00:47:40,260 anxiety, or... 915 00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:42,620 [SIGHS] 916 00:47:43,312 --> 00:47:44,994 - Hate. I mean... - Hate? 917 00:47:45,104 --> 00:47:48,941 And I have to tell you. I feel safe in telling you, okay, that... 918 00:47:50,909 --> 00:47:54,468 You look at yourself in the mirror, okay? Really look closely. 919 00:47:55,481 --> 00:47:56,507 I bet... 920 00:47:57,331 --> 00:47:59,401 I bet you see someone who looks... 921 00:48:00,744 --> 00:48:01,797 a lot, 922 00:48:02,985 --> 00:48:06,987 emotionally... like me. 923 00:48:10,674 --> 00:48:12,042 Someone who's gay. 924 00:48:20,301 --> 00:48:21,737 [SIGHS] 925 00:48:24,143 --> 00:48:25,344 You're gay? 926 00:48:27,352 --> 00:48:28,529 Oh, yeah. 927 00:48:30,943 --> 00:48:32,946 Haven't you ever noticed that... 928 00:48:33,565 --> 00:48:35,607 some guys just 929 00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:36,883 look really... 930 00:48:38,025 --> 00:48:39,338 really good? 931 00:48:43,155 --> 00:48:44,871 You think that I'm... 932 00:48:45,917 --> 00:48:46,992 Like you? 933 00:48:47,025 --> 00:48:48,260 Why not? 934 00:48:48,654 --> 00:48:49,721 There's millions of us. 935 00:48:49,774 --> 00:48:51,713 Come on. No, there are millions. 936 00:48:52,031 --> 00:48:53,633 We're not alone. 937 00:48:55,367 --> 00:48:56,770 Ralph, uh... 938 00:48:56,822 --> 00:48:58,156 [PHONE RINGING] 939 00:49:01,403 --> 00:49:06,441 I wasn't... born in the way that I would have to be born 940 00:49:06,500 --> 00:49:10,983 to do the things that you're, uh... proposing. 941 00:49:11,214 --> 00:49:12,697 [ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS] 942 00:49:12,916 --> 00:49:14,635 SARA: Bick, it's Sara... 943 00:49:15,351 --> 00:49:16,622 - the klepto. - I should... 944 00:49:16,648 --> 00:49:17,895 You're not going to believe this, but... 945 00:49:19,522 --> 00:49:20,714 I found your book. 946 00:49:20,768 --> 00:49:21,775 [SCOFFS] 947 00:49:21,825 --> 00:49:24,304 Oh, I'm sorry, Ralph. I've got to get that. 948 00:49:24,774 --> 00:49:26,376 Sara? It's Bick. 949 00:49:27,357 --> 00:49:29,110 You've, she found the book. 950 00:49:30,183 --> 00:49:31,347 Where are you? 951 00:49:32,042 --> 00:49:33,075 Really? 952 00:49:34,013 --> 00:49:35,074 Oh. 953 00:49:35,468 --> 00:49:40,139 Uh, can we use your car to go pick Sara up from the hospital? 954 00:49:40,573 --> 00:49:41,841 The hospital? 955 00:49:42,573 --> 00:49:46,446 Yeah, apparently she got some sort of drug-induced psychotic episode. 956 00:49:46,718 --> 00:49:48,518 Yeah, okay I'll drive. 957 00:49:48,612 --> 00:49:51,711 [LAZY FLIES PLAYING] 958 00:49:58,351 --> 00:50:02,822 ♪ Lazy flies All hovering above ♪ 959 00:50:02,855 --> 00:50:07,560 ♪ The magistrate He puts on his gloves ♪ 960 00:50:07,593 --> 00:50:10,096 ♪ And he looks to the clouds ♪ 961 00:50:10,129 --> 00:50:12,665 ♪ All pink and disheveled ♪ 962 00:50:12,698 --> 00:50:15,134 ♪ There must be Some blueprints ♪ 963 00:50:15,168 --> 00:50:20,173 ♪ Some creed of the devil Inscribed in our minds ♪ 964 00:50:20,206 --> 00:50:22,609 ♪ A hideous game ♪ 965 00:50:22,642 --> 00:50:27,680 ♪ Vanishes in thin air The vanity of slaves ♪ 966 00:50:27,713 --> 00:50:32,352 ♪ Who wants to be there To sweep the debris ♪ 967 00:50:32,385 --> 00:50:37,290 ♪ To harness dead horses To ride in the sun? ♪ 968 00:50:37,323 --> 00:50:43,463 ♪ A life of confessions Written in the dust ♪ 969 00:50:48,668 --> 00:50:53,139 ♪ Out in the mangroves The myna birds cry ♪ 970 00:50:53,172 --> 00:50:58,077 ♪ In the shadows of sulfur The trawlers drift by ♪ 971 00:50:58,110 --> 00:51:03,349 ♪ They're chewing dried meat In a house of disrepute ♪ 972 00:51:03,382 --> 00:51:08,254 ♪ The dust of opiates And syphilis patients ♪ 973 00:51:08,287 --> 00:51:11,057 ♪ On brochure vacations ♪ 974 00:51:11,090 --> 00:51:12,892 ♪ Fear has a glare ♪ 975 00:51:12,925 --> 00:51:15,628 ♪ That traps you Like searchlights ♪ 976 00:51:15,662 --> 00:51:18,064 ♪ The puritans stare ♪ 977 00:51:18,097 --> 00:51:20,532 ♪ Their souls are fluorescent ♪ 978 00:51:20,566 --> 00:51:25,571 ♪ The skin of a robot vibrates With pleasure ♪ 979 00:51:25,604 --> 00:51:30,476 ♪ Matrons and gigolos carouse In the parlor ♪ 980 00:51:30,509 --> 00:51:33,145 ♪ Their hand-grenade eyes... ♪ 981 00:51:33,392 --> 00:51:36,462 Look, if it's any consolation, 982 00:51:36,582 --> 00:51:39,508 I haven't stolen anything in days. 983 00:51:40,129 --> 00:51:41,843 Well, only one thing, but that was for art. 984 00:51:41,987 --> 00:51:44,854 And I'm giving up pot too. 985 00:51:45,557 --> 00:51:46,857 For a while... 986 00:51:47,072 --> 00:51:49,237 at least until the end of the semester. 987 00:51:50,930 --> 00:51:52,241 And then maybe I'll try it again. 988 00:51:52,497 --> 00:51:53,535 Well... 989 00:51:54,572 --> 00:51:57,715 I'm glad my misery has had such a positive effect on your life. 990 00:52:10,134 --> 00:52:11,473 You're my hero. 991 00:52:17,757 --> 00:52:19,258 [DOOR CLOSES] 992 00:52:32,296 --> 00:52:33,621 It seems all here. 993 00:52:34,819 --> 00:52:36,271 You like her, don't you? 994 00:52:36,716 --> 00:52:37,731 Sara? 995 00:52:39,712 --> 00:52:41,947 I mean, she's... she's a knockout. 996 00:52:42,541 --> 00:52:43,655 You should go for it. 997 00:52:44,150 --> 00:52:45,808 I mean, that. You should... 998 00:52:46,919 --> 00:52:48,718 She totally violated me, Ralph. 999 00:52:48,854 --> 00:52:52,199 I mean, she utterly destroyed any confidence I could ever have in her... 1000 00:52:52,858 --> 00:52:54,752 although she does keep kissing me. 1001 00:52:55,727 --> 00:52:57,254 Which is, frankly, pretty cool. 1002 00:52:57,307 --> 00:52:59,026 "Keeps"? What do you mean, "keep"? Like... 1003 00:52:59,220 --> 00:53:02,869 Like, she kissed you like that, like what I just saw, before? 1004 00:53:03,649 --> 00:53:05,166 Yes, once. 1005 00:53:05,426 --> 00:53:07,619 Only this time, it was more lingering, 1006 00:53:07,705 --> 00:53:09,374 and she threw in some tongue. 1007 00:53:10,249 --> 00:53:11,484 Pleasant surprise. 1008 00:53:11,577 --> 00:53:13,146 Her body is astounding. 1009 00:53:16,248 --> 00:53:19,191 Her mind is, like, perky, you know? 1010 00:53:21,126 --> 00:53:25,029 Listen, Ralph, I'm sorry I'm not, like you said, one of the millions. 1011 00:53:25,124 --> 00:53:27,193 Don't... Stop... Please... I... 1012 00:53:27,626 --> 00:53:28,949 [NERVOUSLY LAUGHS] 1013 00:53:30,649 --> 00:53:33,161 I would have just broken your heart anyway, Bickford. 1014 00:53:45,654 --> 00:53:46,948 Oh, that's great. 1015 00:53:47,665 --> 00:53:48,845 Really great. 1016 00:53:50,691 --> 00:53:52,184 Just what the doctor ordered. 1017 00:53:53,214 --> 00:53:56,854 Now, if you'll excuse me. I'm gonna go kick some motherfucking ass. 1018 00:54:01,683 --> 00:54:03,090 See you later tiger. 1019 00:54:05,066 --> 00:54:07,335 [WALKIN' DOWN THE LINE PLAYING] 1020 00:54:12,440 --> 00:54:14,409 ♪ Well, I'm walkin' Down the line ♪ 1021 00:54:14,442 --> 00:54:17,045 ♪ Yeah, I'm walkin' Down the line ♪ 1022 00:54:17,078 --> 00:54:18,546 ♪ Well, I'm walkin' Down the line ♪ 1023 00:54:18,579 --> 00:54:19,814 ♪ My feet'll be a-flyin' ♪ 1024 00:54:19,847 --> 00:54:20,982 ♪ To tell you 'Bout my troubled mind ♪ 1025 00:54:21,015 --> 00:54:22,850 ♪ On the corner was a man ♪ 1026 00:54:22,883 --> 00:54:25,086 ♪ On the corner was a man ♪ 1027 00:54:25,120 --> 00:54:27,255 ♪ On the corner was a man A shotgun in his hand ♪ 1028 00:54:27,288 --> 00:54:28,857 ♪ And I really didn't Understand ♪ 1029 00:54:28,890 --> 00:54:30,959 ♪ That's why I'm walkin' down the line ♪ 1030 00:54:30,992 --> 00:54:33,294 ♪ Well, I'm walkin' Down the line ♪ 1031 00:54:33,327 --> 00:54:34,830 ♪ Well, I'm walkin' Down the line ♪ 1032 00:54:34,863 --> 00:54:36,197 ♪ My feet'll be a-flyin'... ♪ 1033 00:54:36,230 --> 00:54:37,358 [SCOFFS] 1034 00:54:37,511 --> 00:54:38,518 Hello? 1035 00:54:40,702 --> 00:54:41,920 Excuse me? 1036 00:54:49,590 --> 00:54:51,292 May I have your attention, please? 1037 00:54:51,920 --> 00:54:53,354 Uh, you got it. 1038 00:54:53,448 --> 00:54:55,951 Look, I'm Bickford Shmeckler. 1039 00:54:56,384 --> 00:54:57,473 I'm "Anonymous." 1040 00:54:57,573 --> 00:54:59,120 I know this guy. I know this guy. 1041 00:54:59,153 --> 00:55:00,269 You're the uh... 1042 00:55:00,822 --> 00:55:03,942 You're the poet-hater guy who hangs out in the quad with Spaceman, right? 1043 00:55:04,082 --> 00:55:06,588 Poet-hater, no. I'm a poet fan, believe you me. 1044 00:55:06,655 --> 00:55:10,451 But I'm the author of this book you scofflaws have been distributing. 1045 00:55:10,584 --> 00:55:11,731 You wrote The Book? 1046 00:55:11,779 --> 00:55:12,925 He wishes. 1047 00:55:12,967 --> 00:55:15,559 Yes, I wrote The Book. I can prove it. 1048 00:55:15,736 --> 00:55:19,049 I believe the book in your possession is missing its first page. 1049 00:55:27,494 --> 00:55:29,096 Let me see that. 1050 00:55:32,726 --> 00:55:34,100 It's the same handwriting. 1051 00:55:38,092 --> 00:55:39,212 Whoa. 1052 00:55:40,128 --> 00:55:42,830 Bickford Shmeckler? You're him? 1053 00:55:42,863 --> 00:55:44,682 You're the guy. You're the guy! 1054 00:55:44,759 --> 00:55:46,442 I thought you'd be more... 1055 00:55:46,814 --> 00:55:48,672 - Abbie Hoffman. - Yeah. 1056 00:55:49,070 --> 00:55:52,474 Want to hear some of our cool ideas? We got about nine pag... No? Okay. 1057 00:55:52,507 --> 00:55:54,724 They're not, you know, as cool as yours, but... 1058 00:55:54,802 --> 00:55:57,231 They're still fairly intensely thought-provoking and... 1059 00:55:58,218 --> 00:55:59,757 and mildly pleasurable. 1060 00:55:59,861 --> 00:56:01,237 BOB: We're more... 1061 00:56:01,402 --> 00:56:02,904 Socio-political, I guess. 1062 00:56:03,151 --> 00:56:06,287 But, you know, in the tradition of the great book. 1063 00:56:06,320 --> 00:56:09,524 If I could just lay this on you, if I may. 1064 00:56:10,559 --> 00:56:13,194 "Governments derive their power from the masses," 1065 00:56:13,227 --> 00:56:16,631 "but when disenfranchised voters turn against the institutions," 1066 00:56:16,664 --> 00:56:18,287 "which vest power in authority..." 1067 00:56:18,327 --> 00:56:21,435 Listen, numbskull. That sort of "we, the people" rap went out with Ben Franklin. 1068 00:56:21,469 --> 00:56:22,872 And I'm the one with the cool ideas here, 1069 00:56:22,917 --> 00:56:24,719 and you people are infringing on my copyrights. 1070 00:56:24,765 --> 00:56:26,089 I want my book back, now. 1071 00:56:26,356 --> 00:56:28,943 Plus, I insist you dimwits cease and desist 1072 00:56:28,983 --> 00:56:30,484 distributing my book immediately. 1073 00:56:30,512 --> 00:56:32,592 Anything less, and I'll return to your little shop here with a... 1074 00:56:33,085 --> 00:56:34,636 with a gas can and a box of matches. 1075 00:56:34,695 --> 00:56:37,055 Listen, you don't understand. 1076 00:56:37,301 --> 00:56:38,520 We're your biggest fans. 1077 00:56:38,553 --> 00:56:39,596 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1078 00:56:39,647 --> 00:56:43,049 This shop is ground zero for the reality revolution. 1079 00:56:43,117 --> 00:56:44,189 Reality... 1080 00:56:47,595 --> 00:56:49,998 All right, all right. That's it. I'm taking all this stuff. 1081 00:56:50,031 --> 00:56:51,833 Hats and T-shirts. 1082 00:56:51,866 --> 00:56:52,980 What the hell are those? 1083 00:56:54,054 --> 00:56:56,438 "Reality isn't" shot glasses. 1084 00:56:56,471 --> 00:56:57,838 Shot glasses? 1085 00:56:58,345 --> 00:57:00,199 You people are hopeless. 1086 00:57:00,647 --> 00:57:03,704 You know what? Here. You're not even cool. 1087 00:57:03,771 --> 00:57:06,874 Yeah, you're just some arrogant loser 1088 00:57:07,021 --> 00:57:08,240 who doesn't even comprehend merchandising. 1089 00:57:08,267 --> 00:57:09,334 Get this guy a box! 1090 00:57:09,817 --> 00:57:11,285 Take all this crap out of here. 1091 00:57:11,319 --> 00:57:13,521 I can't believe I quit D&D for you, man. 1092 00:57:13,703 --> 00:57:14,756 D&D? 1093 00:57:14,789 --> 00:57:16,610 I had the Wand of the Crimson Magi, but it doesn't matter. 1094 00:57:16,656 --> 00:57:18,433 Hey, Slim, hand me those mugs. 1095 00:57:18,486 --> 00:57:20,128 Gave it up for you, but whatever. 1096 00:57:20,161 --> 00:57:21,392 Why don't you get out? 1097 00:57:21,709 --> 00:57:23,092 Take it. Take it and get out. 1098 00:57:23,150 --> 00:57:24,752 Why don't you leave the store? How about that? 1099 00:57:27,567 --> 00:57:28,649 Whoa. 1100 00:57:28,849 --> 00:57:31,485 [I'M NOTHING PLAYING] 1101 00:57:31,688 --> 00:57:32,741 Dork. 1102 00:57:33,174 --> 00:57:35,744 ♪ I-M-N-O-T-H-I-N ♪ 1103 00:57:35,777 --> 00:57:37,879 ♪ I-M-N-O-T-H-I-N ♪ 1104 00:57:37,912 --> 00:57:41,616 ♪ I'm nothing I'm nothing ♪ 1105 00:57:42,784 --> 00:57:45,153 ♪ Are you a Republican Or a Democrat ♪ 1106 00:57:45,186 --> 00:57:47,288 ♪ A liberal fascist Full of crap? ♪ 1107 00:57:47,322 --> 00:57:52,360 ♪ I'm nothing I'm nothing ♪ 1108 00:57:52,393 --> 00:57:54,795 ♪ Somebody somewhere Might be something ♪ 1109 00:57:54,829 --> 00:57:58,433 ♪ But everybody everywhere Knows that I'm nothing ♪ 1110 00:58:02,370 --> 00:58:03,537 ♪ Politics and dirty tricks ♪ 1111 00:58:03,571 --> 00:58:04,939 ♪ I got no time For stones and sticks ♪ 1112 00:58:04,973 --> 00:58:06,107 ♪ Politics and dirty tricks ♪ 1113 00:58:06,140 --> 00:58:07,375 ♪ I got no time I'm chasing chicks ♪ 1114 00:58:07,408 --> 00:58:11,980 ♪ I'm nothing I'm nothing ♪ 1115 00:58:12,013 --> 00:58:14,281 ♪ Somebody somewhere Might be something ♪ 1116 00:58:14,315 --> 00:58:18,119 ♪ But everybody everywhere Knows that I'm nothing ♪ 1117 00:58:21,488 --> 00:58:26,494 ♪ I'm nothing I'm like a cloud ♪ 1118 00:58:26,528 --> 00:58:32,534 ♪ I'm free to be alone In a crowd ♪ 1119 00:58:32,567 --> 00:58:35,036 ♪ What's your reality? ♪ 1120 00:58:35,069 --> 00:58:37,605 ♪ It's not real to me ♪ 1121 00:58:37,638 --> 00:58:39,941 ♪ What's your anomaly? ♪ 1122 00:58:39,974 --> 00:58:47,015 ♪ It is my destiny ♪ 1123 00:58:49,951 --> 00:58:52,120 ♪ I-M-N-O-T-H-I-N ♪ 1124 00:58:52,153 --> 00:58:54,755 ♪ I'm nothing ♪ 1125 00:58:54,789 --> 00:58:57,025 ♪ Nothing ♪ 1126 00:58:57,058 --> 00:58:58,293 ♪ Nothin' ♪ 1127 00:58:59,193 --> 00:59:00,313 Wrong. 1128 00:59:00,715 --> 00:59:03,017 Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! 1129 00:59:05,693 --> 00:59:06,896 Wrong. 1130 00:59:07,702 --> 00:59:10,171 [MAKE IT GOOD TO ME PLAYING] 1131 00:59:12,707 --> 00:59:14,008 ♪ Let 'em talk ♪ 1132 00:59:14,042 --> 00:59:15,243 [MOANING] 1133 00:59:15,276 --> 00:59:17,011 ♪ I don't care if it's right ♪ 1134 00:59:17,045 --> 00:59:19,447 ♪ You see The hour's getting late ♪ 1135 00:59:23,117 --> 00:59:28,523 ♪ If those two lips Are gonna resist me ♪ 1136 00:59:28,556 --> 00:59:33,260 ♪ You better come on, boy Come on over here ♪ 1137 00:59:33,294 --> 00:59:34,695 ♪ And kiss me, yeah... ♪ 1138 00:59:34,729 --> 00:59:36,464 [CLEARS THROAT] 1139 00:59:37,532 --> 00:59:40,097 Before we get started, is... 1140 00:59:40,517 --> 00:59:43,391 Bickford Shmeckler in class today? 1141 00:59:44,238 --> 00:59:46,671 Bickford Shmeckler, are you here? 1142 00:59:46,771 --> 00:59:47,804 BOY: [LAUGHING] Bickford Shmeckler. 1143 00:59:48,022 --> 00:59:49,084 Present. 1144 00:59:49,977 --> 00:59:52,349 Will you please come see me after the lecture? 1145 00:59:52,647 --> 00:59:54,482 [STUDENTS GIGGLING] 1146 00:59:54,569 --> 00:59:55,595 Okay. 1147 00:59:56,924 --> 00:59:57,955 Great. 1148 01:00:01,656 --> 01:00:03,306 Where are you off to now? 1149 01:00:04,152 --> 01:00:05,926 All right, I'll see you over there. 1150 01:00:08,903 --> 01:00:10,022 Professor Adams. 1151 01:00:10,498 --> 01:00:12,100 Bickford Shmeckler. 1152 01:00:12,940 --> 01:00:18,349 I did some research and discovered the anonymous young man who wrote this 1153 01:00:18,443 --> 01:00:23,084 remarkable book was none other than one of my very own students. 1154 01:00:25,913 --> 01:00:28,116 [EXHALES] Bickford. 1155 01:00:30,718 --> 01:00:34,421 I had no idea anyone was paying attention... 1156 01:00:34,455 --> 01:00:37,401 Not in an undergraduate class, anyway. 1157 01:00:37,624 --> 01:00:40,594 Not at a level so penetrating, 1158 01:00:40,655 --> 01:00:44,057 profound, dare I say passionate? 1159 01:00:44,084 --> 01:00:45,663 Uh, Professor Adams. 1160 01:00:46,233 --> 01:00:49,904 Your class has nothing to do with why I wrote The Book. 1161 01:00:50,057 --> 01:00:53,125 I know all this fundamental stuff already. 1162 01:00:53,307 --> 01:00:54,764 I need the credits to graduate. 1163 01:00:55,022 --> 01:00:56,824 [CHUCKLING] I know. 1164 01:00:57,244 --> 01:00:58,824 I'm pulling your leg. 1165 01:01:01,109 --> 01:01:05,705 I enjoyed your work so much, I took the liberty of passing it on 1166 01:01:05,833 --> 01:01:08,002 to a publisher friend of mine in New York. 1167 01:01:08,222 --> 01:01:10,257 What? No, you didn't. 1168 01:01:10,290 --> 01:01:11,773 - Yes, I did. - No. 1169 01:01:11,805 --> 01:01:14,416 Yeah, he loves it, and he wants to fly out here to meet you. 1170 01:01:14,456 --> 01:01:16,163 I think he wants to publish you. 1171 01:01:16,197 --> 01:01:17,540 And what exactly does that mean? 1172 01:01:17,666 --> 01:01:24,614 Well, it means that you owe me a very, very big favor. 1173 01:01:26,633 --> 01:01:28,455 You fascinate me. 1174 01:01:30,463 --> 01:01:33,466 [TROPICAL MUSIC PLAYING] 1175 01:01:39,487 --> 01:01:41,589 All right, there it is. There it is. 1176 01:01:41,622 --> 01:01:42,523 Yup, there it is. 1177 01:01:42,556 --> 01:01:43,498 Oh, yeah. Get a good one. 1178 01:01:43,538 --> 01:01:45,026 Tip it. Did you get one? 1179 01:01:45,059 --> 01:01:46,104 - Ooh, yeah. - Yeah? 1180 01:01:46,146 --> 01:01:47,217 - Yeah. - Taste the juice? 1181 01:01:47,257 --> 01:01:48,324 - Pineapple. - Citrusy. 1182 01:01:48,402 --> 01:01:49,904 That's it. Hold it in. 1183 01:01:49,963 --> 01:01:52,136 Hey, Bick, want to join the party? 1184 01:01:52,216 --> 01:01:53,301 Eh. 1185 01:01:53,434 --> 01:01:54,503 "Eh." 1186 01:01:55,163 --> 01:01:56,430 The genie's out of the bottle. 1187 01:01:56,603 --> 01:01:58,706 The Book's out there, way out there. 1188 01:01:58,746 --> 01:02:01,815 Everything is becoming extremely tight, closing in. 1189 01:02:01,820 --> 01:02:03,334 You know Professor Adams? You're not going to believe... 1190 01:02:03,361 --> 01:02:04,380 Bick. 1191 01:02:05,479 --> 01:02:07,215 I'm all tapped out of compassion. 1192 01:02:07,834 --> 01:02:09,511 You got your book back, man. 1193 01:02:09,649 --> 01:02:11,318 Your nightmare, it's over. 1194 01:02:12,059 --> 01:02:13,453 Move on, please. 1195 01:02:14,254 --> 01:02:17,091 But you, I thought, were my friend. 1196 01:02:17,125 --> 01:02:19,069 Yeah, yeah, and as your friend, 1197 01:02:19,116 --> 01:02:21,501 I'm telling you, just be happy. 1198 01:02:21,768 --> 01:02:25,172 But happiness isn't just a switch in your head 1199 01:02:25,199 --> 01:02:26,622 that you can flip on at will. 1200 01:02:27,715 --> 01:02:28,862 Yes, it is. 1201 01:02:31,773 --> 01:02:34,544 Happiness is a switch? That's so uh... 1202 01:02:35,352 --> 01:02:36,626 Masturbatory. 1203 01:02:37,078 --> 01:02:40,754 Well, isn't masturbation one of the greatest inventions of all time? 1204 01:02:41,362 --> 01:02:43,364 Ralph, come on. I'm in crisis mode here. 1205 01:02:44,485 --> 01:02:47,130 All right. What's masturbatory... 1206 01:02:47,355 --> 01:02:51,068 is thinking all those heavy thoughts all day long. 1207 01:02:51,459 --> 01:02:55,501 There is no need to be so intense about everything, Bick. 1208 01:02:56,536 --> 01:02:58,787 You're living your book too much. 1209 01:02:59,359 --> 01:03:03,533 No, you just got to flip that switch and take some time and just... 1210 01:03:04,479 --> 01:03:05,572 Just chill. 1211 01:03:06,123 --> 01:03:07,441 [SIGHS] 1212 01:03:07,474 --> 01:03:09,489 Believe me, you need it, pal. 1213 01:03:13,787 --> 01:03:15,026 I'll catch you later. 1214 01:04:02,271 --> 01:04:03,826 You disappeared on us. 1215 01:04:08,256 --> 01:04:12,398 Uh, I constantly disappear and reappear. 1216 01:04:12,426 --> 01:04:14,028 It's a thing I do sub-atomically. 1217 01:04:14,202 --> 01:04:15,227 Yeah. 1218 01:04:15,263 --> 01:04:17,207 It's happened several times in this conversation already, 1219 01:04:17,238 --> 01:04:19,927 but it happened so fast, you couldn't perceive it. 1220 01:04:23,214 --> 01:04:26,827 My daughter disappeared similarly when she was four. 1221 01:04:29,023 --> 01:04:30,923 However, indefinitely. 1222 01:04:32,369 --> 01:04:33,502 You have a daughter? 1223 01:04:33,873 --> 01:04:35,473 I had a wife too... 1224 01:04:35,861 --> 01:04:37,261 they're both gone. 1225 01:04:39,246 --> 01:04:41,860 Science and reason, you understand, but they couldn't. 1226 01:04:44,370 --> 01:04:46,303 They can never understand this. 1227 01:04:48,366 --> 01:04:50,913 I don't understand shit, Spaceman. 1228 01:04:58,879 --> 01:05:02,183 How are the extra-dimensionals? 1229 01:05:03,284 --> 01:05:05,019 The extra-dimensionals need you back. 1230 01:05:06,520 --> 01:05:08,756 They want us to rescue them from the misery. 1231 01:05:10,958 --> 01:05:12,093 You can save us. 1232 01:05:14,995 --> 01:05:17,116 We need you to solve the problem. 1233 01:05:39,787 --> 01:05:41,455 You never call. You never write. 1234 01:05:41,489 --> 01:05:43,521 And then you just show up out of the blue. 1235 01:05:44,634 --> 01:05:47,740 You really are cultivating that whole mysterious guy thing, aren't you? 1236 01:05:47,802 --> 01:05:48,973 I just... 1237 01:05:49,974 --> 01:05:51,404 need to talk to someone. 1238 01:05:52,233 --> 01:05:55,069 [WOMEN GIGGLING] 1239 01:06:06,146 --> 01:06:09,285 Okay, Secret Agent man. What's the rumpus? 1240 01:06:10,763 --> 01:06:11,968 I, uh... 1241 01:06:13,086 --> 01:06:14,955 I think a publishing company in New York 1242 01:06:14,989 --> 01:06:16,723 wants to buy The Book as-is. 1243 01:06:16,756 --> 01:06:18,122 Wait, wait, wait, rewind. 1244 01:06:18,192 --> 01:06:20,722 Buy it? You mean publish The Book? 1245 01:06:21,047 --> 01:06:22,682 Yeah, I don't know... 1246 01:06:22,862 --> 01:06:24,713 I don't know all the details. 1247 01:06:25,413 --> 01:06:27,686 Some guy wants to meet me. He's flying out from New York. 1248 01:06:27,826 --> 01:06:30,053 Bick, that is so cool! 1249 01:06:31,305 --> 01:06:32,365 Yeah. 1250 01:06:33,266 --> 01:06:34,868 That is cool, isn't it? 1251 01:06:40,020 --> 01:06:41,906 I'm sorry. I need to go. 1252 01:06:42,339 --> 01:06:43,466 Bick, what is wrong? 1253 01:06:43,506 --> 01:06:45,742 Why did you even come here in the first place? 1254 01:06:47,487 --> 01:06:48,662 I, uh... 1255 01:06:56,363 --> 01:06:58,072 [SOBBING] 1256 01:06:58,272 --> 01:07:01,016 Whatever it is, it can't be that bad, can it? 1257 01:07:01,649 --> 01:07:03,516 I killed my mom, Sara. 1258 01:07:05,204 --> 01:07:06,572 What, honey? 1259 01:07:06,694 --> 01:07:09,663 I can't sell The Book. I only started it because of my mom. 1260 01:07:09,997 --> 01:07:11,323 You killed her? 1261 01:07:11,772 --> 01:07:13,908 No. How? 1262 01:07:14,281 --> 01:07:15,839 With a butcher's knife? 1263 01:07:16,163 --> 01:07:17,231 A butcher's knife? 1264 01:07:18,119 --> 01:07:21,088 Ralph told me about your episode with the turkey fork, and... 1265 01:07:21,121 --> 01:07:22,906 I killed my mom with a car, Sara. 1266 01:07:25,560 --> 01:07:27,647 It was like being in a blender. 1267 01:07:29,313 --> 01:07:31,133 The car flipped four times. 1268 01:07:33,640 --> 01:07:36,400 My mom died the next day at the hospital... 1269 01:07:37,465 --> 01:07:39,171 the other driver instantly. 1270 01:07:39,668 --> 01:07:40,995 And uh... 1271 01:07:41,572 --> 01:07:42,741 [SNIFFLES] 1272 01:07:43,556 --> 01:07:45,210 I didn't suffer a scratch. 1273 01:07:46,058 --> 01:07:50,281 It sounds like that accident wasn't even close to being your fault. 1274 01:07:52,514 --> 01:07:54,016 That's what I told myself. 1275 01:07:55,485 --> 01:07:57,387 I was stoic to the bone. 1276 01:08:00,274 --> 01:08:01,594 At her funeral... 1277 01:08:02,309 --> 01:08:04,495 I told my grandfather that 1278 01:08:04,742 --> 01:08:08,695 her death was proof of the old axiom, when your numbers up, your numbers up. 1279 01:08:10,318 --> 01:08:12,278 He looked at me like I was a ghost. 1280 01:08:18,582 --> 01:08:20,296 After a while... 1281 01:08:20,792 --> 01:08:22,718 I guess you could say... 1282 01:08:23,851 --> 01:08:25,415 I got deluded. 1283 01:08:27,999 --> 01:08:31,087 I thought that people thought I was speaking gibberish, 1284 01:08:31,702 --> 01:08:33,589 and when I heard them speak, 1285 01:08:33,791 --> 01:08:36,027 they just sounded like shallow, petty idiots. 1286 01:08:37,348 --> 01:08:39,228 Well, that wasn't your imagination, Bick. 1287 01:08:39,450 --> 01:08:43,898 People can be shallow, petty idiots. 1288 01:08:46,230 --> 01:08:49,136 It got so bad, I couldn't leave my apartment. 1289 01:08:50,210 --> 01:08:51,230 My... 1290 01:08:52,597 --> 01:08:56,430 textbooks would talk and sing to me. 1291 01:08:58,662 --> 01:08:59,936 And uh... 1292 01:09:00,862 --> 01:09:04,823 food in the refrigerator would become these, like, wild cartoons. 1293 01:09:06,017 --> 01:09:07,438 Trip out. 1294 01:09:09,660 --> 01:09:11,829 And there was a knock at the door. 1295 01:09:12,623 --> 01:09:13,844 It was my dad... 1296 01:09:15,478 --> 01:09:20,629 and some doctor guy from a mental institution. 1297 01:09:22,173 --> 01:09:28,736 And a cop... trained in the handling of psychotic individuals. 1298 01:09:29,179 --> 01:09:30,605 They forced you... 1299 01:09:30,849 --> 01:09:32,892 To a loony bin. 1300 01:09:34,310 --> 01:09:35,379 Yeah. 1301 01:09:37,180 --> 01:09:40,059 And that, Sara, 1302 01:09:41,578 --> 01:09:43,267 I have never told anyone. 1303 01:09:45,815 --> 01:09:47,514 And they gave me a notebook, 1304 01:09:48,585 --> 01:09:49,814 so I wrote. 1305 01:09:50,715 --> 01:09:55,119 And the more I wrote, the more refined my thoughts became. 1306 01:09:57,240 --> 01:09:58,542 [SIGHS] 1307 01:09:58,622 --> 01:10:00,505 Six weeks later, they let me out. 1308 01:10:01,312 --> 01:10:06,801 And a month after that, I showed up to school relaxed, rested, 1309 01:10:08,236 --> 01:10:09,856 and ready for action. 1310 01:10:10,201 --> 01:10:11,869 [SIGHS DEEPLY] 1311 01:10:12,976 --> 01:10:14,578 And then you stole my book. 1312 01:10:16,827 --> 01:10:18,329 I'm so sorry. 1313 01:10:19,175 --> 01:10:22,057 I just... I loved it. 1314 01:10:24,543 --> 01:10:26,844 And I'm so glad you got it back. 1315 01:10:36,526 --> 01:10:38,146 I'm going to end up like Spaceman. 1316 01:10:38,239 --> 01:10:39,273 [LAUGHS] 1317 01:10:39,308 --> 01:10:41,483 No, I am. 1318 01:10:42,298 --> 01:10:45,601 Like Spaceman, homeless on some college campus, 1319 01:10:45,634 --> 01:10:47,702 collecting recyclables, begging for quarters, 1320 01:10:47,728 --> 01:10:50,561 and trying to expurgate extra-dimensionals from my head. 1321 01:10:50,951 --> 01:10:53,088 No, you're not mentally ill, Bick. 1322 01:10:53,794 --> 01:10:55,930 Not like that, not even close. 1323 01:10:56,938 --> 01:10:58,090 You're just... 1324 01:10:58,880 --> 01:11:02,822 An anxious, self-absorbed perfectionist. 1325 01:11:03,825 --> 01:11:06,273 All good qualities under different circumstances. 1326 01:11:07,938 --> 01:11:09,311 I don't know about that. 1327 01:11:11,890 --> 01:11:13,526 You know what you need? 1328 01:11:17,138 --> 01:11:18,398 An end to The Book? 1329 01:11:19,498 --> 01:11:20,561 No. 1330 01:11:23,775 --> 01:11:24,854 A new beginning. 1331 01:11:52,391 --> 01:11:53,893 PUBLISHER: ♪ Da-da-da-dum ♪ 1332 01:11:54,395 --> 01:11:57,822 This contract contains the terms we're willing to offer, 1333 01:11:57,902 --> 01:12:00,992 including a $20,000 advance against royalties, 1334 01:12:01,065 --> 01:12:03,236 a 10,000-copy first printing, 1335 01:12:03,436 --> 01:12:06,243 and a guarantee to market the book accordingly. 1336 01:12:06,790 --> 01:12:10,543 There's an awful lot of fine print. 1337 01:12:10,821 --> 01:12:12,517 [LAUGHS] 1338 01:12:12,705 --> 01:12:14,444 Well, that's because we mean business. 1339 01:12:14,521 --> 01:12:15,608 Sir... 1340 01:12:16,534 --> 01:12:20,414 the only reason that I'm here is because... 1341 01:12:21,684 --> 01:12:26,250 Well, there's this girl who thought I would be a fool not to meet you. 1342 01:12:26,559 --> 01:12:27,826 He has a girlfriend. 1343 01:12:27,947 --> 01:12:29,729 Yeah, he's informed me. 1344 01:12:31,976 --> 01:12:36,301 [CLEARS THROAT] Well, I just want to say, from the start... 1345 01:12:36,334 --> 01:12:37,657 The Book isn't finished. 1346 01:12:37,877 --> 01:12:39,290 Oh, of course. 1347 01:12:39,343 --> 01:12:41,040 No, it could use some editing. 1348 01:12:41,073 --> 01:12:43,704 But, Bickford, I want you to understand 1349 01:12:43,744 --> 01:12:45,811 I don't expect you to sign anything here and now. 1350 01:12:46,511 --> 01:12:47,946 Take the contract home. 1351 01:12:48,046 --> 01:12:50,716 Show it to your mom and dad, a lawyer. 1352 01:12:50,826 --> 01:12:54,153 You could even have a law student friend review it pro Bono. 1353 01:12:54,186 --> 01:12:56,385 [LAUGHING] 1354 01:12:56,773 --> 01:12:59,985 Ah, I find this collegiate atmosphere very invigorating. 1355 01:13:01,927 --> 01:13:05,244 I also think, if you'll forgive me for being so forward... 1356 01:13:05,344 --> 01:13:07,866 But, hey, that's why I'm paid the big bucks. 1357 01:13:07,900 --> 01:13:10,120 You may want to give some thought 1358 01:13:10,360 --> 01:13:13,830 to finding a title other than The Book for the book. 1359 01:13:13,872 --> 01:13:14,740 Yeah. 1360 01:13:14,773 --> 01:13:16,807 It's, well, it's a tad pretentious. 1361 01:13:16,901 --> 01:13:20,264 And I fear people may mistake it for some kind of religious text. 1362 01:13:21,157 --> 01:13:26,167 How about Bickford Shmeckler's Cool Ideas? 1363 01:13:28,032 --> 01:13:32,176 'Cause you're Bickford, and it's your cool ideas. 1364 01:13:32,232 --> 01:13:34,943 Bickford Shmeckler's Cool Ideas. 1365 01:13:36,387 --> 01:13:37,394 I like it. 1366 01:13:57,549 --> 01:13:59,652 [DOG BARKS] 1367 01:14:00,552 --> 01:14:02,054 [GROANS] 1368 01:14:08,247 --> 01:14:11,820 You know, Bick, if I'm reading this correctly, 1369 01:14:12,187 --> 01:14:13,899 when the book goes into second printing, 1370 01:14:13,932 --> 01:14:17,197 if it does, you could make out like a bandit. 1371 01:14:18,570 --> 01:14:20,139 [GROANS] 1372 01:14:20,380 --> 01:14:22,942 I just can't stop thinking this is a bad idea. 1373 01:14:24,122 --> 01:14:25,357 [SIGHS] 1374 01:14:28,147 --> 01:14:29,890 It'd be dedicated to your mother. 1375 01:14:31,107 --> 01:14:35,780 Yeah, and she's really, what, going to enjoy spending the royalty checks? 1376 01:14:36,487 --> 01:14:37,856 [SIGHS] 1377 01:14:39,358 --> 01:14:42,238 You know, Bick, you should put a warning label on your book. 1378 01:14:42,495 --> 01:14:46,765 "Author full of a shit and doesn't understand one word of what he wrote." 1379 01:14:46,930 --> 01:14:47,951 Where are you going? 1380 01:14:47,991 --> 01:14:50,879 Oh, does it matter? I'm not even in this dimension, right? 1381 01:14:51,861 --> 01:14:53,305 Are you breaking up with me? 1382 01:14:53,345 --> 01:14:56,937 [LAUGHS] After six days, it's not called "breaking up," Bick. 1383 01:14:56,998 --> 01:15:00,106 It's called using your head and steering clear. 1384 01:15:00,199 --> 01:15:04,091 You're dumping me because I won't sell out to the lemmings. 1385 01:15:04,777 --> 01:15:07,119 How could you, of all people, be that materialistic? 1386 01:15:07,152 --> 01:15:10,455 I couldn't care less about the money, Bick. 1387 01:15:10,489 --> 01:15:11,757 You've written The Book. 1388 01:15:11,790 --> 01:15:12,891 It's finished. 1389 01:15:12,924 --> 01:15:14,848 It has been since I met you. 1390 01:15:14,882 --> 01:15:15,928 So deal with it. 1391 01:15:21,673 --> 01:15:23,863 Misery may love company, but I don't. 1392 01:15:25,683 --> 01:15:26,845 I like fun. 1393 01:15:36,848 --> 01:15:38,275 "Author full of shit." 1394 01:15:41,053 --> 01:15:42,405 "Author full of shit." 1395 01:15:44,366 --> 01:15:46,959 "Warning. Warning. Author full of shit." 1396 01:15:47,192 --> 01:15:48,252 Huh? 1397 01:15:48,427 --> 01:15:49,500 Tell me, stranger, 1398 01:15:49,533 --> 01:15:52,164 do you doubt that you exist standing there, listening to my voice? 1399 01:15:52,497 --> 01:15:53,514 Uh... 1400 01:15:54,074 --> 01:15:55,643 - No? - Of course not. 1401 01:15:55,813 --> 01:15:58,195 Because, ultimately, that horny little artist girl is right. 1402 01:15:58,509 --> 01:16:01,228 I've been thinking my brain fried for two years, and now where am I? 1403 01:16:01,646 --> 01:16:02,681 Nowhere. 1404 01:16:04,310 --> 01:16:05,978 You hear that, God? 1405 01:16:06,011 --> 01:16:07,379 I've seen through your secret plan. 1406 01:16:07,413 --> 01:16:08,447 No matter how smart, 1407 01:16:08,480 --> 01:16:10,115 how clever we all think we are, 1408 01:16:10,148 --> 01:16:12,978 ultimately, we all know, I know nothing. 1409 01:16:13,687 --> 01:16:14,713 Shit! 1410 01:16:15,183 --> 01:16:17,790 There is no theory of everything. 1411 01:16:18,116 --> 01:16:19,158 We know nothing! 1412 01:16:19,351 --> 01:16:24,274 And anyone who thinks they need to know every single goddamn thing is a... 1413 01:16:24,861 --> 01:16:25,981 Dipshit. 1414 01:16:27,630 --> 01:16:29,335 If I let that girl walk out of my life... 1415 01:16:29,368 --> 01:16:30,402 You're the dipshit? 1416 01:16:31,237 --> 01:16:33,506 [STUDENTS LAUGHING] 1417 01:16:33,638 --> 01:16:34,746 I'm the dipshit. 1418 01:16:36,101 --> 01:16:38,971 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1419 01:16:50,512 --> 01:16:52,832 BOB: "Warning. Read at your own risk." 1420 01:16:53,387 --> 01:16:55,994 "The following ideas are dangerous and addictive." 1421 01:16:56,194 --> 01:17:00,599 "Repeated use can induce insomnia, delusional fantasy," 1422 01:17:00,633 --> 01:17:02,565 "fits of libidinous frustration," 1423 01:17:02,605 --> 01:17:04,825 - "and other psychiatric conditions." - Yeesh. 1424 01:17:04,896 --> 01:17:07,455 "When reading, place feet firm to the ground," 1425 01:17:07,773 --> 01:17:09,174 "tongue firm to cheek," 1426 01:17:09,208 --> 01:17:11,675 "and fasten your mental safety belt tightly." 1427 01:17:12,077 --> 01:17:14,412 "Above all, remember that as the fabric of reality" 1428 01:17:14,446 --> 01:17:16,382 "begins to rip around you" 1429 01:17:16,415 --> 01:17:19,885 "and uneasy feelings overtake your sense of self," 1430 01:17:21,620 --> 01:17:23,589 "breathe deep and have fun." 1431 01:17:26,791 --> 01:17:28,015 Having fun. 1432 01:17:28,555 --> 01:17:34,119 Pure, unadulterated, high-octane physical sensation. 1433 01:17:34,887 --> 01:17:37,636 It's, like, the most important thing, and I forgot that. 1434 01:17:37,669 --> 01:17:40,123 So you're just giving us The Book? 1435 01:17:40,191 --> 01:17:41,659 On one condition. 1436 01:17:41,943 --> 01:17:43,767 That you keep giving it away for free. 1437 01:17:44,481 --> 01:17:46,678 I don't want anybody to profit off of it. 1438 01:17:46,712 --> 01:17:48,255 That's not The Book. 1439 01:17:48,813 --> 01:17:51,350 Which means, no merchandising. 1440 01:17:51,376 --> 01:17:52,817 - Sorry, Bob. - Well, I don't know... 1441 01:17:52,851 --> 01:17:54,219 Douche bag. 1442 01:17:54,253 --> 01:17:55,954 You see, he's got a contract. 1443 01:17:56,065 --> 01:17:57,456 The guy's blowing 20 grand on us, so... 1444 01:17:57,489 --> 01:17:58,623 [WHISPERS] Zip it. 1445 01:17:58,749 --> 01:18:04,023 I don't get it. Why would you give us The Book when it is obviously your life's work? 1446 01:18:04,148 --> 01:18:05,183 Yeah. 1447 01:18:11,573 --> 01:18:14,932 All I can say is, in the last couple weeks, 1448 01:18:15,399 --> 01:18:19,592 I had a life-changing, quasi-psychedelic epiphany. 1449 01:18:19,878 --> 01:18:22,567 And I got my fun back. 1450 01:18:23,160 --> 01:18:25,870 I had one of those, uh... 1451 01:18:27,988 --> 01:18:30,421 I had one of those epiphanies reading The Book. 1452 01:18:30,888 --> 01:18:34,514 But if you had one of those epiphanies and you wrote the book... 1453 01:18:34,560 --> 01:18:37,061 Oh, oh, that's a good one. 1454 01:18:37,121 --> 01:18:38,194 Oh, yeah. 1455 01:18:38,360 --> 01:18:40,644 [BREATHES HEAVILY] 1456 01:18:40,889 --> 01:18:42,301 What's wrong with them? 1457 01:18:42,334 --> 01:18:44,404 Huh! Brain-gasm. 1458 01:18:44,471 --> 01:18:46,405 DOUG: That's the main reason right there 1459 01:18:46,438 --> 01:18:49,874 that The Reality Isn't Club was ten times more popular 1460 01:18:49,908 --> 01:18:52,711 than Advanced Dungeons & Dragons ever was. 1461 01:18:52,744 --> 01:18:55,113 This response actually happens 1462 01:18:55,153 --> 01:18:56,821 when people read The Book? 1463 01:18:56,849 --> 01:18:57,893 Ga! 1464 01:18:59,261 --> 01:19:01,221 Ha! Sometimes. 1465 01:19:01,754 --> 01:19:03,327 How utterly curious. 1466 01:19:03,374 --> 01:19:05,924 Just stop talking one moment, please. 1467 01:19:05,958 --> 01:19:08,242 You didn't know that happened? 1468 01:19:08,342 --> 01:19:09,748 BICKFORD: I had no idea. 1469 01:19:09,802 --> 01:19:12,264 I didn't intend for people to ever read The Book. 1470 01:19:12,731 --> 01:19:14,934 But it escaped. 1471 01:19:16,001 --> 01:19:17,769 It had a will of its own, I guess. 1472 01:19:17,803 --> 01:19:19,838 [ALL GASPING] 1473 01:19:19,871 --> 01:19:21,473 BOB: My God! 1474 01:19:21,506 --> 01:19:22,708 Whoa. 1475 01:19:25,663 --> 01:19:29,003 So do we have a deal or what? 1476 01:19:30,254 --> 01:19:31,391 You betcha. 1477 01:19:35,120 --> 01:19:38,324 [JUST ONCE MORE PLAYING] 1478 01:19:45,196 --> 01:19:47,833 ♪ My dear I've painted a picture ♪ 1479 01:19:47,866 --> 01:19:50,569 ♪ I've painted a picture For the questioned wall ♪ 1480 01:19:50,602 --> 01:19:53,472 ♪ I'll hang it up With the rest soon ♪ 1481 01:19:53,505 --> 01:19:56,408 ♪ Right up with the next few That come along ♪ 1482 01:19:56,441 --> 01:19:57,375 ♪ One more ♪ 1483 01:19:57,409 --> 01:20:01,680 ♪ There's room for just more ♪ 1484 01:20:01,714 --> 01:20:04,316 ♪ Once more, make room For just one more ♪ 1485 01:20:04,500 --> 01:20:06,985 Dad, it's Bick. I had sex. 1486 01:20:07,018 --> 01:20:08,954 DAD: You had sex. 1487 01:20:08,987 --> 01:20:10,556 Yeah, a bunch of times. 1488 01:20:12,637 --> 01:20:14,459 I never knew what I was missing. 1489 01:20:14,492 --> 01:20:15,583 Hmm. 1490 01:20:16,604 --> 01:20:20,012 The human body is the most marvelous thing. 1491 01:20:20,392 --> 01:20:22,701 Well, that's good news, I guess. 1492 01:20:22,734 --> 01:20:27,405 And you're being... What's the expression? Safe? 1493 01:20:27,438 --> 01:20:28,734 Uh, yeah. 1494 01:20:29,808 --> 01:20:31,474 And everything else is okay. 1495 01:20:31,760 --> 01:20:34,293 Everything's awesome. Fundamentally. 1496 01:20:34,393 --> 01:20:36,548 That's awesome that it's awesome. 1497 01:20:36,581 --> 01:20:37,682 I gotta go. 1498 01:20:37,716 --> 01:20:39,035 Okay. Bye, Bick. 1499 01:21:11,898 --> 01:21:13,334 SARA: What are you writing? 1500 01:21:16,249 --> 01:21:17,578 An epic poem. 1501 01:21:18,358 --> 01:21:20,717 An epic sex poem. 1502 01:21:20,874 --> 01:21:21,984 About you. 1503 01:21:22,423 --> 01:21:24,980 It's kind of a sequel to The Book. 1504 01:21:25,613 --> 01:21:26,881 Is it a porno? 1505 01:21:27,220 --> 01:21:29,556 [LAUGHS] 1506 01:21:31,472 --> 01:21:33,102 Actually now that you mention it... 1507 01:21:34,987 --> 01:21:36,014 yes. 1508 01:21:36,406 --> 01:21:38,413 [LAUGHS] 1509 01:21:39,557 --> 01:21:42,779 But it's going to be smart and crazy subversive. 1510 01:21:42,812 --> 01:21:45,705 Ooh, I like crazy subversive. 1511 01:21:45,729 --> 01:21:47,598 [THE 59TH STREET BRIDGE SONG (FEELIN' GROOVY) PLAYING] 1512 01:21:47,631 --> 01:21:50,701 ♪ Slow down You move too fast ♪ 1513 01:21:50,734 --> 01:21:53,370 ♪ You got to make The moment last ♪ 1514 01:21:53,403 --> 01:21:57,408 ♪ Just kicking down The cobblestones ♪ 1515 01:21:57,441 --> 01:22:03,047 ♪ Looking for fun and feeling groovy ♪ 1516 01:22:03,080 --> 01:22:07,885 ♪ Ba da-da da da da da Feeling groovy ♪ 1517 01:22:10,053 --> 01:22:11,722 ♪ Hello, lamp post ♪ 1518 01:22:11,755 --> 01:22:12,890 ♪ Whatcha knowing? ♪ 1519 01:22:12,923 --> 01:22:16,260 ♪ I've come to watch Your flowers growin' ♪ 1520 01:22:16,293 --> 01:22:19,428 ♪ Ain't ya got No rhymes for me? ♪ 1521 01:22:19,783 --> 01:22:22,535 [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING] 1522 01:22:22,865 --> 01:22:24,568 [GASPS] 1523 01:22:24,841 --> 01:22:27,774 ♪ Ba da-da da da da da Feeling groovy ♪ 1524 01:22:27,851 --> 01:22:29,920 Ah-hoo! 1525 01:22:31,034 --> 01:22:34,271 ♪ I got no deeds to do No promises to keep ♪ 1526 01:22:34,405 --> 01:22:36,672 ♪ I'm dappled and drowsy And ready to sleep ♪ 1527 01:22:36,734 --> 01:22:37,792 Bye! 1528 01:22:37,832 --> 01:22:41,218 ♪ Let the morning time drop All its petals on me ♪ 1529 01:22:41,251 --> 01:22:42,987 ♪ Life, I love you ♪ 1530 01:22:43,020 --> 01:22:46,290 ♪ All is groovy ♪ 1531 01:22:46,323 --> 01:22:50,394 ♪ Ba da da da Da da da da... ♪ 1532 01:22:50,428 --> 01:22:54,265 [SCATTING CONTINUES] 1533 01:23:21,792 --> 01:23:25,263 [GROOVY MUSIC PLAYING] 103847