All language subtitles for eru901 swe2 000

- Go away!
- You'd better get out of here!

I mean it, I don't want to...

What'll we do?

Go away! Go away!

Irwin. Irwin!

Here, Ray.

You fellas all right?

Now they show up.
Where were you when we needed you?

- Writing parking tickets, I suppose.
- Yeah.

They're still alive.

? Got a baby who can give me 31 flavors ?

? And we like tutti-frutti best ?

? I call him "Ice Cream Joe" ?
? He is the most delicious boy I know ?

Go, baby, go!

? ...his tasty lips are kissing mine ?
? He gives me 31 flavors ?

? And we like tutti-frutti best ?

? I just love him so ?

? He's my confectionery Ice Cream Joe ?

? Every time I kiss him, I feel mighty fine ?

? I love his 31 flavors ?

? And we like tutti-frutti best ?

? Pineapple, peach, coconut and banana ?
? Some of each, chocolate too ?

? I'm telling you that when we kiss ?

? He really does want bum bum ?
Don't stop! Go!

? And we like tutti-frutti best ?

? I want the world to know ?

He's got to be home.

He never gets up this early.
Why doesn't he answer?

I hope you won't mind my asking,
but what sort of chap...

is this brother-in-law of yours?

He's a nut. Why?

I hope he's nothing like
my brother-in-law. Peculiar chap.

Secretary of a golf club
out near Pangbourne.

So what about him?

I was thinking that if Reggie,
my brother-in-law...

If Reggie got hold of information
like this information,

it's likely that would be the last time...

anyone would ever see or hear
of dear old Reggie.

I doubt very much whether old Reggie
will be waiting for us in Santa Rosita.

Cheers.

- We're wasting too much time.
- But, Russell, he's about to be there.

Come on, let's get going.

Wait a minute!

Are you against calling Sylvester?

- Me? Against Sylvester?
- Mother!

- Now please, let's be reasonable.
- Reasonable? We're gonna sell it right now!

Now look, this doesn't make sense.

We were back there and we had a conversation and
we straightened out the whole thing, Mr. Hawthorne and I.

You mean that you two...
You mean that you suggested that my son...?

No, Madam, I hastened to...

You think I'll sit still
while some un-american foreigner...

makes accusations about
my own flesh and blood?

We'll see about that. Stop this car!

- Really, madam.
- Mother, this is awful!

- So we'll see!
- Mother, what are you doing?

You don't trust your own brother-in-law?
Well, let me tell you something.

If my boy is out, then everybody is out.
So we'll see.

We don't even own the car
and you have no right to do what you do.

Rights? You talk to me about rights?

- Mother!
- You address me on the subject of rights?

Trouble? Having any trouble?

Yes! And we don't need any help from you.

Well...

- Mother, please.
- With all due respect, this is too much.

Give Mr. Hawthorne the keys
or we'll never get there.

Too bad.

Madam, I must say I find your attitude
somewhat less than helpful.

And what's all this got to do with you,
if you don't mind telling me?

If we have quite decided
to withdraw from this affair,

you might be expected to hand me back
my keys so that I could press on.

You keep out of this!
Are we calling Sylvester or not?

No!

We are not. And I'll tell you why.
Because your son Sylvester...

is an irresponsible, unreliable,
big loudmouth, no-good bum,

who, if he isn't a crook,
it's only because...

he hasn't got the brains or ambition
even to become a crook.

Good show!

If you want to come, you can.
If you don't want to, you don't have to.

But you've got to give us those keys or
you'll force us to take them from you!

Hear, hear.

Give us those keys. Give us those keys.

I don't care where you have them.
I'll get them.

- How dare you.
- Give us those keys.

- You take one more step towards me...
- I'll take another step.

I'm warning you. You're gonna be sorry!

- Give me the keys.
- You're gonna get it, but good!

- Emeline!
- Emeline, stay in the car!

Grab her!

Russell, don't! Mother!

- Put me down!
- Must be stuck.

Russell, you wouldn't.
You couldn't! You shouldn't!

Let me go! Let me get out of here!

I got 'em! Here they are.

We really didn't want to do it.
But that was the only way. Upsy-daisy.

Don't hit him. Ow!

Madam, please! Please!

You forced us. You forced us.

I'm willing to say I'm sorry,
but you forced us.

- Do us a favor and get back in the car.
- Get away from me! Don't you touch me!

- We had to do it. You saw it, honey.
- Russell, let me go.

Just wait.
You can't manhandle a decent woman.

You're going to jail!
You'll be arrested for assault.

I'm going to sue for everything you've got.
Take your hands off my daughter!

I say, if we are going,
we really must get cracking.

Russell, how could you?

- You know we had to...
- Mr. Finch!

Please don't go. We'll be right with you.
See, she made us do it.

Let's forget the whole thing
and be reasonable.

- Please get back in the car.
- Not me!

We are wasting so much time.
Give me the keys.

Please, honey, please.
If she don't wanna come, then you got to come.

I can't leave you here.
You gotta make this choice yourself.

You gotta stay on my side.
Your place is with me. You understand?

- Mama!
- No, wait!

Alright, go ahead, you big stupid hooligan!
Just wait and see what will happen!

Really, old man, I just have to say: Tataa!

Emeline! Emeline!

The cars are going faster than we are.
Can't you make this thing go a little faster?

Wide open, I can.
But wide open eats up a lot of gas.

Then open up wide. I'll pay for the gas.

- It'll cost you about $50.
- Okay, I'll pay when we land.

- Now!
- I got to pay now?

- Now!
- All right, I'll pay you now.

- Melville...
- What?

A bug! Get him off!

Get him off! There he is! Get him!

- You're breaking up the airplane!
- Is it down there?

Now you're breaking the floor!

- Help!
- Melville!

Help!

Everything's okay, everything's fine.

Everything's just okay.
Everything is all right.

Gonna be okay.

None of these 10 people
have any record at all.

And yet we're ready to book 'em
for withholding information,

causing accidents,
failing to report accidents,

reckless driving, theft, at least
three cases of assault and battery...

- Capt. Culpeper?
- Yeah.

- That my home?
- Yes, sir.

Uh, Sheriff, excuse me. Another call.

Take the Sheriff. I'll take it in here.

Freddy, transfer Mrs. Culpeper
to Culpeper's office.

- Hello, Ginger?
- Daddy, it's Billie Sue.

Oh. Let me speak with
your mother, sweetheart.

Well?

Ah, dear.

Tell me something, Ginger.
How does it feel being married...

to the most brilliant personality
in the law enforcement industry?

Are you referring to yourself?

Ginger, I want you to prepare yourself
for a little shock.

When I tell you what has happened...

So tell me. I've got this biscuit dough...

The Smiler Grogan case is solved.

The what?

What the hell is the Smiler Grogan case?

The tuna factory robbery.

The case I've been talking about
for the last 15 years.

All I want you to do
is make all the preparations...

for a little flight to Hawaii,
Sunday morning.

- So what's the gag?
- It is no gag.

Are you serious about flying to Hawaii?

Flight 7, Sunday morning.

- Are we taking Billie Sue?
- No!

Just the two of us for about three weeks.
Now, we're going to celebrate, Ginger.

My feeling is that after 27 years...

we've earned it.

What's the matter?

- I need help. Can you give me a lift?
- What?

My wife is sick.
The doc sent me out for some medicine.

All right. Come on.

- I just ran out of gas.
- Get in!

What's wrong with your wife?

That's the trouble. The doc's not sure.
He says, whatever it is,

she's too sick, even to be moved.
He needs a special stuff...

and we haven't got a phone, so I want to get it,
and that's when I ran out of... Slow down a little.

- The turning is just up here on the right.
- Turning? You mean, it's off the road?

- Only a mile...
- Oh, pal, I'm in a hurry. I got my...

Hold it!

Stop the car!

Now listen, buddy!

I'm sorry about your problems,

but the dark side of the hurry,
this is my wife.

- Now, come on, we turn right here.
- There isn't even a road...

Listen! Don't force me to get rough!

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bust up your car.

It's all right.

You said, a mile?

Well, I'm asking too much.

- You?
- You?

Wait a minute. We're in trouble.

Everybody's in trouble. Get out of the way.

You think we wanted to leave you back there?

- It was my son-in-law and that Englishman.
- What Englishman? Get out of the way.

You leave us here,
and you know what you're going to get?

Nothing! We'll get it all.

How will you do that?

I'll call my son. He lives
about 10 miles from Rosita Beach.

He'll drive there and get the money
and we're going to have it. That's how!

I was going to offer you a share
for taking us to a phone.

But because you're not interested,
we'll wait for another car.

Is that true? You really
got a brother already down there?

Yes, it's true. Well, that's true.

Alright, but just remember:
You said that I get a share.

You get a share. You get a share.

- Come on, Emeline, get in the truck!
- Mother, for the last time: Why don't we go to the police?

I'm glad it's the last time.

Say, where did you get this truck?

Let's just say I bargained it, okay?

Ah, I bet you did. I bet you did.

I'm sorry. The nearest place
you could get a wheel for this thing...

would be in Canyon City, about 45 miles.

Excuse me.

45 miles. This bloody machine
will never do it.

I was just...
We're making a terrible mistake.

We better go back and get my mother-in-law.

- Go back?
- Yes.

- You couldn't be serious.
- Don't you understand?

All she has to do is get to a telephone,
my brother-in-law will get there first.

They'll get all and we won't get a dime.
You can believe that.

But look here.

Even if she does get all the money,
this won't make any difference...

to our agreement.
She wouldn't break her word.

I mean to say, I'd still be entitled
to 10 percent as agreed. Surely.

Surely. Come on, let's go.

- Operator.
- Santa Rosita 7-1-9-6-5.

I'm ringing this Santa Rosita number.

If Russell would really care about me,
he never would left me the way he did.

- But he'll come back for me.
- Now, listen.

You think everybody's been acting
like a bunch of nut-heads or something.

I sure do.

Then let me tell you something.

Back there, when this whole thing started,

I was gonna string along with everybody,

just to get an equal share, my share.

Understand?

You know what I wanted the money for?

I want to be in a position
to do something for Miss Jenkins,

this little old lady, that runs
a boarding house where I live.

I want to get her, like...
well, maybe a wheelchair with a motor on it,

bring her some fresh flowers every day,

in exchange for looking after me
ever since I was 15 years old.

That's what I wanted the money for.

And what happens next?

Now, I tell you what happens.

Then they all decide that I'm supposed
to get a smaller share,

like I'm somebody
extra-special stupid or something.

They don't even care what's a democracy,
and in a democracy,

no matter how stupid you are,
you still get a equal share.

I don't think that you're stupid.

And then that dirty, rotten,
slimy bum that double-crossed me.

When I get a hold of that smart aleck,
what I'm going to do him...

If you're there, I hope you just turn away,

that's all,
that you just look the other way.

Did you get him?

Maybe he went out
for the papers or something.

We can keep on trying.

Just supposing we never do get him?
We might be the last ones there.

Just a minute. Down there?

You're kidding. It's too steep.

I drive my jeep down here every day.
Let's go!

Yeah, let's go. Let's...

You can turn around here.
I sure appreciate this, mister. Thanks.

Yeah, swell, yeah.

Hi, Eddie.

- Is this Santa Rosita?
- Yep, we're landing in about 12 minutes.

At least we won. We got here first.
We are the first ones. Oh, boy!

Honey, the first thing we will do:
We gonna get a pick and a shovel.

No, no, no. First thing, we get a taxi...

- and then we get a pick and a shovel.
- I can't believe it, Melville.

I think, way back I was willing to share
and share alike with them all, you know?

But not now. Now we get it all!

- Hey, where is the pilot?
- Tyler's probably still in the shower.

Tyler! There he is!

- Tyler! Hey, Tyler!
- Hey, you promised!

Hey! I'll wake him up. Tyler!

- Tyler!
- Huh? Huh?!

Wake up! Come on now!

Tyler, wake up! Wake up now!

- Get out of here!
- Wait!

Mr. Fitzgerald!

He's out again, Benjy!

Listen, I got to get out of here.

Will you ask your father to show me?
There must be some other way out!

Come on! Hurry up!

I could show you a way out.
There's another way to the road.

You know another way to the road?
Good. Come on in. Don't stand there.

If you show me the way out,
I'll give you $1.

- Hm... $3.
- $3? Why, you...

Yeah, all right. I'll give you $3.

But don't stand there, hop in the car.
Hurry kid, I got to get out of here!

Come on, hop in there! All right.

- Now, which way is it?
- The other way.

- That way?
- What happened to your door?

Never mind my door. This is the way, eh?

You're a... good little boy.

- They're not here, they're gone.
- Probably got a lift.

But we only passed six or seven cars
and they weren't in any of them.

Somebody must have picked them up
and taken the other way.

I think we better go back
to that place we phoned from.

What? That's miles in the wrong direction.

Besides, we can't be certain
they'll be there.

I don't know, I must find my wife.
And I don't know what to do.

Wherever they are,

surely the most sensible thing
is for the two of us to press on.

For all we know, your brother-in-law
may be out or away somewhere.

Even if he were the first there,
he still has to find the money.

I earnestly recommend
we forget your good ladies...

and press on with all possible dispatch.

All right. We'll press on
with all possible dispatch.

And I don't really think
that personal rancor...

is going to help the situation,
if I may say so.

Okay, come on, honey. Let's go. We're here.

We got here first. Let's go.
Come on. I got you.

Attaboy, baby.

We made it. We're here first.

Take care of my car
until we get back, right?

Come on, let's go. Will you go? Come on!

Over there?

There?

Down there?

That'll be $2.90.

$2.90? Here's $3.00.
Keep the change, but wait for us, okay?

Oh, sure.

Wise guy. Come on, let's go.

- No, we're closed. It's 12:00.
- It's 12:00. They're closed.

Wait a minute!
All we want is a pick and a shovel!

Mr. Dinkler's inside.

Dinkler. That's it.
We'll get Dinkler. Come on.

TOOLS
GARDEN IMPLEMENTS

Downstairs. Come on.

They must be here someplace.
Down here, yeah.

Look for a pick and a shovel, all right?

Pick and a shovel, must be someplace around.

That's all I need.

That's all I need, boy.
That's all I need, a pick and a shovel.

I found it!

Got it!

- But there...
- I got it! I found it!

I've no wish to quarrel with you, Finch,
but speaking as a representative...

of Her Majesty's Armed Forces,
I take the most particular exception...

You want me to tell you something?
As far as I'm concerned,

the whole British race
is practically finished.

If it hadn't been for land and lease
we hadn't kept your whole country afloat...

by giving you billions,
that you never even said thank you for,

the whole phony outfit would be
sunk under the Atlantic years ago.

- Hey, what are you stopping for?
- Get out of this machine.

Get out? You're crazy!

It's my machine.
I'll do as I bloody well please. Out!

I'm awfully sorry.
I've been very edgy today.

If I said anything about England,
I apologize.

I'm glad to hear you say so.

I must say, if I had the grievous misfortune...

to be a citizen of this benighted country,

I should be most hesitant in offering
any criticism whatever of any other.

Wait a minute. Are you mocking this country?

Are you saying something against America?

Against it?

I'd be positively astounded to hear
anything said for it.

The whole bloody place
is the most unspeakable matriarchy...

in the whole history of civilization.

Look at yourself, the way your wife
and her strumpet of a mother...

push you through the hoop.

As far as I can see, American men
have been totally emasculated.

They're like slaves.

They die like flies
from coronary thrombosis...

while their women sit under
hair dryers eating chocolates...

and arranging for every second
Tuesday to be some sort of Mother's Day.

And this positively infantile
preoccupation with bosoms.

In all my time in this wretched country,

the one thing that has appalled me
most is this preoccupation with bosoms.

They've become the dominant theme
in American culture:

In literature, in advertising,
in entertainment, in everything.

I'll wager you anything you like,

if American women
stopped wearing brassieres,

your whole national economy
would collapse overnight.

F-7 to Central. The Crumps are locked...

in the hardware store basement.
Shall I let them out? Over.

How the hell could they get themselves
locked in a basement?

- We better let them out.
- That ain't fair.

- It ain't fair? What ain't fair?
- They got themselves in there.

They ought to be able to get themselves out.

Uh, after all, if you help them,
you're not being fair to the others.

But the moment anybody
gets to where they're going,

we'll pick them up.

So, what difference does it make
who gets there first?

It's a race, ain't it?

Why do you want to help that dentist for?

Me? I've been pulling for that guy Pike
with the furniture van.

The rules should be the same for everybody.

Otherwise, it just ain't fair.

Central to F-7.

No. We'll leave them where they are.
See what happens.

Watch all the exits,
but render no assistance. Over.

Are you happy?

Can't you do it, Melville?

Don't you think I would, if I could?

I'm trying. I'm trying very hard.

I need a drink.

There's some ice and stuff back there.
Make us all some Old Fashioneds.

You think you ought to drink
while you're flying?

Stop kidding and make us some drinks.

Just press the button back there
marked "booze."

It's the only way to fly.

Estimated speed: 175.

We'll never be able to keep up with him.

Better have some of the other units
intercept. Over.

Hello, Ginger? What's the matter now?

It's Billie Sue. Her new boyfriend Oscar...

was supposed to come down
from Pomona just to meet us.

So now she told him we were going away.

What? What's the matter?

You keep forgetting.
If a girl is 6 feet 5 inches tall,

she's bound to have special problems.

- But, Ginger...
- They had some argument...

Get out!

...screaming at each other
and now the whole engagement's off...

and she says she's leaving.

Leaving what? Leaving home?

Let me talk to her. Get her to the phone.

I'll try. Just a minute.
Talk to your father.

I won't. I don't want to talk to him ever.

Don't be ridiculous.
Whatever else he is, he is your father.

Captain, there is a captive report.
Just came in.

All right! All right! Can you wait a minute?

- Talk to your father.
- No! No! No!

- She won't come to the phone.
- She... what?

- She won't come to the phone.
- Look, you are her mother! Get her to the phone!

- Mel are you all right?
- I'm fine. I'm okay.

Look at this: Just another storeroom.

Dynamite!

Dynamite.

We could blow our way out.

Melville, you don't know anything about dynamite
and you know how I hate explosions.

Look, I've seen many people blowing tree stumps out
with just a little dynamite.

It's simple:
You just light it and it goes boom.

That's all. It's...

EMERGENCY ALARM The burglar alarm.

We just throw it on, people hear it,
they come and we're out.

Now, don't be frightened,
if it makes a big bell noise, you know.

All right? Here we go.

- I don't hear anything.
- Neither do I. There's no bell.

Look at it. It just stands there.

Wait a minute.

Stand by.

Burglar alarm. Burglar alarm!

The stupidest burglar in the world
could come in here...

and walk away with everything.
And we can't even get out!

I was just thinking.

Melville. Mel!

Even if you do get the bell to ring
and somebody comes,

what about the damage?

Won't they make you pay for the damage?

Damage?

Make us pay for the damage?

They're the ones who locked us in!

This thing is gotta work!

Help me! Help me, please!

Please, help me!

I love you! Please, help me! I'm frying!

Please, help me! Oh...

Melville!

You hear bells, baby?

Yes?

- Who is that? Who is that?
- Who's that?

I want my son! Hey!

Who is that?
I want to speak to Sylvester Marcus.

- Sylvester?
- Yeah, baby?

It's your mom.

Ah! Good old Mom. Hello!

- Sylvester? Sylvester?
- Is that you, Mom?

Of course it's me.
I've been trying to get to you all morning.

I've been a little busy.

I've been working
and I didn't hear the phone.

Hold on a minute, will you, Mom?

Baby, how about a beer or something?
Man, I feel like...

Will you listen? Something's happened.

There was an accident this morning.
A man got killed!

Who got killed?

- Now, listen!
- You all right?

- Pay attention!
- Sis all right?

- Will you listen?
- What's wrong?

Can you hear me?

There's a whole fortune in cash.

You can get it before anybody else,
but you've got to hurry!

What's the matter? What's going on
there? Are you all right?

Of course I'm all right. Sylvester!

Are Russell and Emeline with you?

Forget about Russell.
Will you shut up and let me talk?

What's going on? Where's Russell?

Don't even mention Russell!

- When I tell you what Russell did...
- Just tell him about the dough.

Keep out of this! Shut up!

- Don't talk. Just listen.
- What did Russell do?

He assaulted me, if you wanna know!
He grabbed me beside the road.

He and this Englishman I don't even know!

Who's with you and where are you?

I'm with this truck driver
in Peterson's Garage in Plaster City.

Will you shut up a minute
so I can tell you what happened?

Listen to me close! Stay there,
'cause I'm coming to get you right now.

- Shut up and listen!
- Everything's going to be all right.

Your baby's coming to get you.

- Sit there. Relax. Take it easy.
- Sylvester!

I'm coming to get you, mom.
Everything's going to be all right.

It' my mom. She's going crazy or something.

Maybe raped! Oh!

Well?

So he's coming here.
And I'm not to worry about a thing,

because "everything is going to be all right".

Exactly like your father:
A big, stupid, muscle-headed moron!

- I tell you, he's exactly like your father!
- Oh, mother, how can you say a thing like that about your own...

What are you just standing there for? Come on!
What we're waiting for? Let's get going!

- What do you thing you're doing?
- I gotta pick your car.

You can't take my car!

- It's my mother!
- It's my husband's!

- What will my husband say?
- He's going to leave you!

- Sylvester!
- I'm coming, mama!

Sylvester!

You better make up a story,
something to tell them.

If they see this damage, you're done!

Come on!

Look, I was here first!
I got here first, ahead of all of 'em!

I got the plane! I had the whole thing
right in the palm of my hand.

And all I needed was a pick and a shovel.

What are you staring at?

A blowtorch.

I could burn our way outta here.

I could burn the lock
right out of that door.

Don't make them so sweet this time.

You've had two already.
Can't you wait till we're on the ground?

What are you talking about?
I'll make the next batch.

You take the controls.

- I don't know how to fly an airplane.
- There's really nothing to it.

- But Benjy can't fly!
- Nonsense. Anybody can fly a plane.

I'll check you out.
Put your little hands on the wheel.

That's it. Now you have it.
Now the feet on the rudder.

There you are, feet on the rudder.

Who says this boy can't fly a plane?
There you go.

I'm making an Old Fashioned
the old-fashioned way...

the way dear old Dad used to.

What if something happens?

What can happen
to an Old Fashioned, all right?

Hey, Benjy, I know you don't know what to do,
so don't do nothing.

- I won't do nothing.
- That boy's a natural-born flyer.

Wait a minute. Benjy! Benjy!
Ease back on her!

- I'm easing.
- Ease back a little!

- I'm trying my best.
- All kidding aside...

I'm not kidding any longer.
It's making me...

nervous!
Hey! We've got an accident back here!

- What happened?
- I don't know!

- Whatever, I'll find out!
- What happened? - Wait a minute!

Mr. Fitzgerald! Mr. Fitzgerald!

- Ey, Benjy!
- What?

You won't believe it, but he hit his head!
He's knocked himself cold!

- Do something! Do something!
- What can I do?

- Throw water on him!
- Throw water!

Yeah! Yeah!

Not on me!

It's good that truck pulled over.
I can't stand this anymore.

In the name of reason,
pull yourself together.

You were 10 feet over the line.

Oh! So it's fisticuffs you want, is it?
Right. Stick them up!

- No! No!
- Come here, you coward!

- Come here!
- No! Don't hit me!

- Stop, you!
- Don't hit me!

- Blood.
- It certainly is.

Come back here, you blimey...

You want to play dirty, huh? Okay!

Foul! Foul!

You're not much good...

without that horrible
mother-in-law of yours, are you?

Come on. Fight!

You thought you had me, didn't you?

I'll kill you. I swear!

No, stop, please! No, please.

- Hello. Hello there.
- Don't shut the motor off!

I'm not shutting anything off!
Hello, anybody! Can anybody hear me?

- I can hear you!
- I don't care if you hear me!

Look, I wanna be...

- I don't know whether we're on the air.
- Mayday. Call mayday!

Mayday! Mayday, we're up here!
Can you hear us? Help!

- Benjy, say something.
- Help! Help!

Your daughter, Sir, she's on the other line.

I think there's something wrong.

Hello? Billie Sue?

- Billie Sue, where are you?
- I'm at the bus station.

I only called
because Mommy said I absolutely...

Now, Billie Sue, sweetie,
what are you doing in the bus station?

I'm waiting for the bus.

Oh, now, sweetie, would you just
listen to me for a minute?

Billie Sue, now try to understand:

When this things start... em...
now, honestly, I don't know what happened,

but all I wanted to do is to celebrate.

Well, I don't gonna see
what this has to do with that.

No, well, never mind that, because
what I want you to do is just turn in your ticket...

and then get in a cab and go home right away
and just wait till I can get there.

Now, will you do that for me, sweetheart?

Oh, please, will you, please,
do that one little thing for me?

Your wife's on the other phone.

- Ginger? - Yeah?
- I've got Billie Sue on the other line.

Billie Sue, wait one minute, will you?

- Ginger?
- I'm here.

Ginger, can you hear Billie Sue?
She's crying.

Billie Sue!

She's in the bus station and she's crying,

but she's waiting for you to tell her.

- Billie Sue!
- Billie Sue, are you listening?

Billie?

- Are you listening to your mother?
- Billie Sue, your mother is speaking.

- Listen to your mother, sweetie.
- Billie Sue!

Billie Sue! Listen to your mother!

Listen, let me tell you something: Everything
that's happened to my daughter and me today...

only happened for one reason
and that was because you were too stupid...

to look where you were going
and wrecked our car in the first place!

Oh, yeah?

You either get out of that truck
or I'm going to throw you out.

Oh, please, Mr. Pike, don't get upset.

You're not going to do anything.
Drive on, you big, stupid idiot.

I'll bet you anything
it was her idea right back there

to pass me by on that bicycle. Now what?

Yeah, I'm beginning to realize
what your husbands been going through.

Well, I've had it just about up to here.
Come on, lady, I'm talking to you. Get out of the truck!

Well, I'm getting though. Excuse me.

I'm not! I'm not even moving!

I've got as much right as you got
to be in this truck,

because you stole it and
that's the first thing I'm gonna tell the police,

if you don't get back in this truck
and drive us to Rosita Beach State Park!

Mommy, don't worry.
Your baby's coming to save you!

Oh! Mr. Pike! Mr. Pike, please!

- Let me go! Get away from me!
- That isn't nice a bit!

- Mother!
- That isn't a nice way to pick up a shoe!

Please, help me!

- Ouuh!
- Stop the car!

That's what I'm here for.
That's why you had me, Mama, to save you.

Help me! Ah!

Emeline! Ah!

Yeah, yeah.

It's practically burned through.

Just a couple blows
with the sledgehammer and we're out.

Stand back!

Hey! Wait a minute!

I can't cross here!

You said the main road.
This is Niagara Falls.

All right, look. You're a little boy.

If you want to be a big boy,
which way to the main road?

Don't! Don't!

Get off!

- Let go!
- I won't let you go!

- Get me out of here!
- Take your own pension!

That's enough!

You thought you had me, uh?

You thought you had me! Come on!

Captain! I'm sorry.
The Chief wants to see you.

- You wouldn't believe it. You couldn't believe it!
- What?

I'll tell you,
I've never been so disgusted in my whole life.

It's no! The answer is no.

He won't back any increase in pensions.
He won't even talk about it.

And there won't be any increase in pensions.
And do you know why?

Because they got a solid majority...

of both Republicans and Democrats
who've agreed...

that if anything is said about pensions,
they'll actually reduce your pension!

Why? Because they know
that you personally...

were more responsible than anybody
else for closing down the houses.

And could I do anything?
Would he listen to me?

All right, so you're an honest cop...

and you've spent a lifetime
being an honest cop.

And you've got that,
and that's all you've got!

It's no good saying I'm sorry.

I'm too angry and sick at my stomach
to be sorry.

You're not even listening to what I'm saying
and that's the trouble with this whole family,

with you, with daddy and granny and
uncle Michael... everybody, but nobody ever listens!

- Billie!
- They don't listen a minute to anything...

- or to anybody else...
- Billie Sue! Billie Sue!

Melville, I smell something burning.

We're on fire! Come over here.

Come on. This way. Go down. Now. Go.

Hurry up!

Put it out!

I don't know how! Get something!

- The extinguishers.
- Get one!

- What'll I do?
- Use it!

Not on me! On the fire!

It's too deep!

This is a car, not a canoe!

Come on! It's easy!

If I don't get out of here... Why? Why?

All right! Here I come!

It's too deep!

It's too deep, you little rat fink!

Why didn't you tell me it was...
What do I...

Don't stand there! Get somebody! Don't...

This is no place for a convertible!

I'll get you! I'll get you!

I'm bleeding, Emeline! Look! I'm bleeding!

Mama! What did they do to my Mama?

Benjy!

THE PAUSE THAT REFRESHES

It's your father's fault.

- The whole thing is your father's fault.
- Oh, Mommy.

Everything is your father's fault.

What's the matter, Chief? Something wrong?

- You know as well as I do...
- Mommy, will you listen and stop yelling!

Stop it, Billie.

Billie, you're not listening.

? Well, step into the lobby ?

? For whatever is your hobby ?

? To drink or smoke or repeat some joke ?

? From the mad, mad, mad, mad world ?

POLICE RADIO CALLS

Central to all units.

Central to all units.

Report, all units. Over.

2-1-6-8-2-1-5-4.
Finch and the Englishman stopped fighting.

They're back on the road and they're getting
right in the beer truck. Over.

F7 to Central.
There's a fire in the basement...

and a lot of smoke's coming out
of the ventilator. Over.

4-2-7-Echo to Central.
We can see the man Otto Meyer now.

He found a shallow spot in the creek
but that kid is throwing rocks at him.

Over.

2-1-7-6-2-1-5-3.
The man Pike is down by the breakdown truck now.

Mrs. Marcus is still inside it.

She's crying but she just hit him again.
Over.

3-8-9-Daisy to Central.
There's something wrong in that plane.

They've been flying upside down
for four minutes. Over.

2-1-8-4-2-1-4-9.
Sylvester Marcus is still moving east on Highway 94.

He's hitting over a hundred now.
It's all we can do to stay with him.

Over.

F7 to Central.
We think they've put the fire out now.

It's all quiet in the basement. Over.

Central to all units. Come in, all units.

Over.

F7 to Central.
There's some pounding in the basement now.

He's using the sledgehammer again. Over.

2-1-6-8-2-1-5-4.
The beer truck with Finch and the Englishman...

has stopped outside the Avis rent-a-car agency
in Canyon City.

They're going inside. Over.

2-1-7-6-2-1-5-3.
Pike and Mrs. Marcus and her daughter are back in the tow truck...

and proceeding west on Highway 80, doing 70.
Over.

3-8-9-Daisy to Central.
The plane's still in the air,

but they just bust a state highway
and caused a four-car-smash-up. Over.

F7 to Central.
He has stopped pounding with the sledgehammer now.

It's all quiet in the basement again. Over.

Central to all units.

Come in, all units. Over.

2-1-7-6-2-1-5-3. Pike and the two women are now
proceeding west on Highway 94. Over.

2-1-8-4-2-1-4-9.
Sylvester Marcus is still moving east on 94.

Looks like he may be meeting his mother
pretty soon. Over.

2-1-6-8-2-1-5-4.

Finch and the Englishman rented a blue Chevy
and are on their way again. Over.

4-2-7-Echo to Central. The man Meyer
is still sitting on a rock in the middle of the creek.

He's shouting at the kid,
but the kid's been gone for 20 minutes.

Over.

F7 to Central.
We can hear the moving in the basement again.

They must be trying something else. Over.

ENTR'ACTE

Now stop it. Stop it, Monica!

It's only a couple of pieces of small dynamite,

and they're 70 feet away in the other room,

and this is a strong counter.
We can't possibly get hurt from there.

FIREWORKS HIGHLY INFLAMMABLE
HANDLE WITH CARE

Please, Melville, go and stop it.
Stamp on it or something.

- You know I hate explosions.
- Look, it's perfectly all right.

All I wanna do is to blow a little hole
in the wall, and then we'll be out of here.

Something's happened to the fuse.

- What could possibly...
- Hold it. Sh!

Listen.

The fuse has gone out.
I can't hear it anymore.

- Stay down. Don't get up.
- I just wanna take a look, okay?

Huh! Now I see.

It's the fire extinguisher stuff.

The fire extinguisher stuff got
all over the fuse and put it out.

Melville, don't you go in there!
You'll be killed!

- You'll be blown to bits!
- Monica, for heaven's sake!

I just wanna go in there to take a look!

Why do you always imagine
I can't do things for myself?

Don't you think I got any sense at all?

Why can't you have
a little confidence in me?

- I'll never be bad again!
- Whoever said you could fly?

What do ya want from me?
How long I been flying?

- Keep it going!
- Can't you talk to that radio?

Hello, anybody on the ground!
On the ground, anybody!

We're up here! Can you hear us?

- Stand back!
- Everybody, stand back!

Stand back, folks! Folks, stand back!

This is Rancho Conejo Tower. Do you hear me?

- We don't know who they are.
- This is Rancho Conejo Tower.

Aircraft calling Rancho Conejo Tower.

This is Rancho Conejo Tower.

Hey, Benjy, I got 'em!

I got 'em! I got 'em!
Hello, down there on the ground.

This is us up in the air. We're in trouble!

We're in an awful jam. Listen. Hello?

Oh, Benjy, I think I lost them.

Wait a minute.
You're not using the set the right way.

You press your switch in to transmit.
And when it's released, you're on receive.

Can you understand me?
This is Rancho Conejo Tower.

- Where are you and who are you? Over.
- I know how to work it, Benjy boy!

I know how to work it. Watch it!
Hello, down on the ground.

This is us up in the air.

We're in this fella's plane.

He knocked himself out,

because he drank a whole case
of bourbon and he felt down and hit his head.

What do we do?

The switch, let go of the switch!

If you can, give us your position.

Who's flying the plane? Over.

What do you mean, "Who's flying the plane?"

Nobody's flying the plane!

Can't you understand? We're in real trouble.

There it is! Let me.

Rancho Conejo Tower, listen.
We've got you spotted, we can see you.

Now you've got to hold that course.

You think you can hold that plane on course long enough
for us to get something organized?

Rancho Conejo, over.

No, listen, I keep telling you:
We can't do anything.

You gotta get somebody else to do something!

Can we parachute?

Sir? Tower here. Emergency.
We have contact...

Tell him it's a full emergency.
We'll try and talk 'em down.

Full emergency. We'll try and talk 'em down.

It's a Twin Beech.
I saw one here this morning.

Who's got a Twin Beech?
It's that colonel, Col. Wilberforce.

He was at maintenance.
If he's still there, get him over here.

Now listen. Don't talk, just listen.

We're getting things under control,
so you can take it easy.

We know what kind of a plane you're in.

We're making necessary preparations
to talk you down.

Rancho Conejo. Over.

Rancho Conejo tower, listen,
we can't land this thing!

We're in real trouble. Over!

You'll be perfectly all right
as long as you follow instructions.

The man at the controls should
also be the man on the radio.

- Here. Put 'em on.
- No. I don't want to!

Put 'em on!

He said the fella flying
should be talking on this thing.

Am I supposed to do everything?
You want me to fly, work the radio?

What are you? The hostess?

No, he's got to take charge of this situation!
What's the matter with him anyway?

He's just sitting there, rigid-like.

If he catches you at that keyhole,
you'll be rigid-like.

- He didn't want to be disturbed.
- He keeps looking at the wall.

He'll have to be disturbed
if any of this develops further.

I bet you any amount of money that
we could get on the ball and get...

Everything's under control, Chief.

- You okay, Chief?
- Yes. Why?

- How's it going?
- Something's bound to happen sooner or later.

Oh, take a look at this.

Those two in the basement
first of all started a fire,

then set off a lot of fireworks.
They still didn't get out.

Those two characters in the airplane
had a little accident...

knocked the pilot unconscious.

The control tower
is trying to talk them down.

The others...

Aerial report that the man,
Otto Meyer, had an accident.

He tried to cross a river
and he lost his car.

Now he's on foot,
walking back to the main road.

This fella Pike, he's here,

coming in on 94 with Mrs. Marcus
and her daughter, Mrs. Finch.

Mr. Finch and this Algernon,
whatever his name is, the Limey,

they're about five or six miles behind,

in an Avis Chevrolet they rented
in Canyon City.

And this Sylvester Marcus,
the one the old lady called,

he's about here,
going in the other direction.

They all ought to be meeting up
in about five or ten minutes.

You know what I believe I'd like?

A Chocolate Fudge Sundae
with whipped cream and a cherry on top.

Nothing will happen here for five minutes.

Mrs. Culpeper's on the phone.

No calls. No more calls.

No more calls.

Wow! What's with him?

- Something's wrong.
- Why? Something's gotta be wrong?

He feels like, uh...
a Chocolate Fudge Sundae.

So, what? He has a Chocolate Fudge Sundae.

- Hey, Benjy! Benjy! Don't hit those trees!
- That part is a saw up. - Pull up!

Dingy, don't let this worry you:
We're gonna get killed.

Men, this is Col. Wilberforce speaking.

These gentlemen here have asked me
to take charge of this situation,

so, I immediately said
that I'd be glad to take charge of it.

Now, before I say anything else...

I don't think he's gonna help us, Dingy.

Yes, he is, Benjy. He'll help us.

Now, just have confidence in him.
He's a colonel. Listen to him.

Steady, men.

I'm told that neither of you
has had flying experience.

Before I say anything else,

I want to congratulate you
on having done so well...

uh, so far.

Now, first of all, men,
I'll explain what we intend to do.

You can't land the airplane
until you've made your approach.

And you can't make your approach until
you've made a long slow turnaround...

down to the south.

And we've got to be clear on a few things
before you can start that long slow turn.

Now, the stick that you're holding there...
that is... I assume, that...

Men, are you holding that stick?

Is somebody holding that stick? Over!

What stick? Oh, the wheel. I'm holding it.

- We're both holding it.
- Oh, good.

For a second there, I was afraid...
Never mind that.

Now I'll explain the controls. It's very important
that you understand the controls.

Because if you don't,
I'm afraid what might...

- Hello?
- I was afraid you weren't gonna be at home, Jimmy.

Hey, is this who I think it is?
Is this Captain Culpeper?

What are you calling me for?

Why? I was wondering
how that 'Natalie Anders' is these days.

Well, she's fine. But why?

Well, I was thinking about a little trip, Jimmy.

You?

You mean, with me?

I thought we could just slip quietly out
on a sort of cruise to the south.

You know, Jimmy?

You mean a round trip or just one-way?

Just one-way, Jimmy.

- Could we go right away?
- Oh, sure.

Uh, but wait.

Is there something in it for me?

There's something in it for everybody, Jimmy.

Listen, if you are throwing me a curve...

No, I wouldn't do a thing like that.

I won't be long. Thanks a lot, Jimmy.

- You want a lift?
- Yes, thank you very much.

It's awful nice of you to stop.

- I'm going as far as Santa Rosita Park.
- That's out of my way.

- We're blocking traffic.
- We are?

Let's move it. Move it.

There we go. All right.

You hide behind the counter.
I'll light up a fuse.

Melville, will you just do one thing
for me before you use the dynamite?

Try hitting the door just once more.

Honey, I broke my back on that door.
That's a hard door. I mean...

Okay.

Where's the sledgehammer?

This staircase isn't safe.
The fire burned it all out.

Please?

All right.

You're going to...

Melville, for God...

Melville!

Monica,

now let's forget about the door, huh?

Look out!

- What?
- They've spotted us.

- Who have?
- Don't stop. Keep going.

- What is this?
- That helicopter. They've seen us.

What helicopter?

- That's a police helicopter.
- That's what it looks like. They always use them.

- Who?
- Who do you think? Look...

I don't want to talk about this,
but they got me hemmed in.

- Who?
- Will you shut up and listen?

I'm going to break a rule that says
we must never reveal our true identity.

This is a matter of life or death,
a desperate situation.

- What is?
- Will you shut up and listen?

Look, I haven't got much time,
so if you love your country,

if you're a patriot,
you'll listen and you'll listen hard.

You gotta get to a phone and make a call.

- I don't got...
- You got to call Intelligence.

Central Intelligence Agency
in Washington, D.C.

- What on earth...
- Now, listen!

You tell 'em you heard from X-27.
You got it? X-27.

X-27 told you to tell them they've made
three attempts on my life today.

They tried to drown me.

Can you handle a gun? Now, look... Oh!

There's a cafe. Pull right in there.
You'll use that phone.

- I don't think I wanna get to a phone...
- Shut up! You're in no danger.

They've never seen ya. Now, pull in.

All right, good. Get to a phone.

Tell the operator "emergency priority,"
then ask for the CIA.

Jump out. Come on, come on.

You're in no danger. They don't know you.

You're all right.
I'll duck the car and I'll come back for you.

For God's sake, don't stand in the street.

They'll see you. They'll spot you!

Move it! Go! Yahaa! Go!

But I still say:
When we get to Santa Rosita,

we're to go straight to the police.

No. First we go out to that park,

and if we find that the others
have already been there and gone,

then we go straight to the police,

because for all we know,
there may be a reward.

And... Sylvester! It's Sylvester!

Turn around, you idiot!

What do you want to stop him for?
He's going the wrong way.

It's my son. Do as you're told, stupid.

They're nuts.

Tell them the tow truck turned around
and is following the Dodge.

2-1-7-1-2-1-5-9.

This is stupid.

You call me a stupid idiot.

Let me tell you something.
You're a stupid idiot.

- He'll go all the way to Plaster City.
- So he goes to Plaster City.

I don't know about you,
but I'm turning this thing around.

Now, you want to catch him,
you get out and run.

Let's stop arguing, please.

The only reason we're together
is because they only had one car.

Let's get there, even if we are last.

Whatever the outcome of the day,
I shall never forget that you hit me...

when I wasn't even looking.

Yeah.

Hey, Russell! Russell!

- How can you possibly be so slow?
- I've had just about enough out of you.

If you've been quicker turning around
we could've caught him!

- Why don't you shut up?
- Russell! There!

It's Russell and Mr. Hawthorne!

Stop them! Catch them!

We gonna start that again?

Faster! Step on it!
Blow the horn, you big dope!

What do you want them for anyway?

Keep up with them. You're falling behind.

Sylvester! Mother! Sylvester!

Stop him! Don't let him get away!

I say, what's that chap
honking his hooter for?

It's probably some road hog
who thinks he owns...

- What?
- What?

I got to ask you something about Mama!
Russell, wait a minute!

It's my brother-in-law. What's he doing?

Be careful of him. He's not normal.

You're getting me...
Boy, are you bugging me, man!

I'm going to nail...
I'm getting bugged now! Whoa, man.

Russell, if you don't pull over, I'll kill you!
I'm warning you! Pull over and stop!

I said stop!

You asked for it.

Russell, when I get my hands on you...

What are you doing?

- I said stop!
- Are you crazy?

- We'll get killed!
- Pull over!

Don't you know what I mean?
I said stop that car!

When I get my hands on you, Russell,
I will kill you!

Are you crazy?

I've never seen anything like this bunch.

He ran right into them,
ran them right off the road.

- You guys, come on out of there!
- Fellow's absolutely beside himself.

- Sylvester, what are you trying to do?
- Come on, let's go!

- What did you do to my mother?
- We wouldn't do any to your sweet little mother!

Move! Move!

- What did you do to my mother?
- I didn't do anything! Let me explain.

Look here.

She called me. She phoned me.

What she told me was so horrible,
I thought she'd gone nuts!

- It was true, wasn't it?
- It's not true.

Whoever told you that, she was a liar.
It's not true.

- It is true!
- Now, look here!

Are you English? Just answer me!

Yes. As a matter of fact, I am.
Don't you like the English?

She said, there was an Englishman.

She said that you and this Englishman...
I'll kill you!

What did you do to my Mama?

- Emeline! Emeline!
- Sylvester! - Mama!

Why couldn't you listen?
Why couldn't you shut up...

when I was trying to tell you to listen?

Have a care!
That chap's run absolutely amok!

But how come... you... I thought that...

Mama, you told me when you called me
on the telephone, you told me that he...

Why do I wanna say a thing like that?
Say, what is this?

What's going on here?
Will somebody please tell me?

Oh, shut up, will you?
You should've had sense enough to listen!

Sweety, I couldn't help it.
You know that, honeybunch.

Russell, you shouldn't have done
what you did!

What? What did he do?
Tell me what he did. I will rip his ugly head off!

No, no, please. Let's stop it. We're wasting
too much time. We're wasting too much time!

Okay, okay, I've had enough.
I'll see you around, okay?

You stay right where you are! You admitted that you
stole that truck. We can have you picked up in 2 minutes.

Listen, will somebody tell me what's going on?
Somebody give me one word of information!

I told you what!
There was an accident this morning!

- Yeah... I mean, it's true! What about the money being buried?
- That's true. It's true!

And while the others are there already,
we're standing here arguing.

Well, let's get moving, before the others...
What others? Who are the others?

Nobody! But that we will explain it all on the way!

- I say, we don't appear to have a motorcar.
- Yeah, I won't be able to get mine out either.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Just let me tell you something.

You go your way and I'll go my way.

Okay? I'll see you around.

Hold it, buster. Looks like we're all gonna use
this truck. You know this neighborhood?

- No.
- But I do. So, I'll drive.

Mama, make up your mind! What you wanna do?
You wanna take them with us or not?

We'll have to take them with us!
Otherwise they're gonna call the police!

All right! You two guys jump
in the back of the truck!

You too! Sis and Mom are right up front with me!

Come on, Mama, let's go!
Everybody in the truck! Everybody in!

Now, in a couple of minutes
we'll have them in position, Colonel.

In another couple of minutes, men,
we'll have you in position.

- You're doing a great job, Colonel.
- Thank you.

Why don't we just shoot 'em down
and be through with it?

- Oh oh.
- Oh oh, man!

- He's gonna pull up, isn't he?
- Why don't you pull up? Aren't you, man?

None of these people must suspect...

that they have ever been under observation.

Now, none of them have ever seen me.

None of them know me,

so I'll be moving in alone.

The minute I move in,
I'll give you the word.

And when you pass the word,

I don't want to have another
policeman within miles of me.

- Right?
- Right.

I, uh...

I won't like it if I see another policeman.

And I give you my word.

I wanted to stop for you.
My wife and he wanted to stop for you.

Tell him how my mother-in-law
made us drive by him.

Anything you have to say
about your mother-in-law...

you don't have to explain to me.

You know what I mean?