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1
00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:03,430
Like I said, this is not a
spa, it's a rehab facility.
2
00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:05,270
What were you doing in
Green Park in the night?
3
00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:07,480
- Ow! - I'll unmatch
you on Find My Phone
4
00:00:07,530 --> 00:00:10,130
if you don't stop stalking me,
you're like a creepy uncle!
5
00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:11,950
'Archway Psychotherapy.'
6
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,390
I just shoplifted a smoothie,
so I'm feeling a bit...
7
00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:17,110
Actually, can I speak to Helen
about this, rather than you?
8
00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:20,430
- What are you doing?
- Just be here! Be here!
9
00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:23,230
- She's with her friends, she's
making friends. - I AM here!
10
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:25,470
I don't wanna bore you
with my personal life.
11
00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:28,070
Please! I spend most of the
day on my own, eating noodles!
12
00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:30,710
Yeah? Is that your cat's name?
13
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:33,670
I'm trying to fucking
respect you here, you mug!
14
00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:36,120
Could you not have respected
me after we had sex?
15
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,510
- Oh, hi!
- Morning.
16
00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:45,390
- Oh, hello! - Hello! - Two for the
price of one this morning, was it?
17
00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:47,270
You should join us, save us all on water.
18
00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:49,670
Ah, no, I'd demand a rent discount
19
00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:51,270
for the sort of work I put in, Emma.
20
00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:53,870
At school I was a very fast and...
21
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,670
soup eater, so you'd both
have a very good time.
22
00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,750
Well, erm, might just, erm...
23
00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:00,790
Slip in like a little bit of soap.
24
00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:02,260
Oh, it's steamy, guys!
25
00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:05,550
Mentaler.
26
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,430
Actually, babes, just
don't say "mentaler".
27
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:09,880
Because my dad was mental,
so it's a bit offensive.
28
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,160
Sorry.
29
00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:29,750
- Hiya, Pat.
- I have to walk to the doctor's now.
30
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:31,790
They had me on hold then just... hung up.
31
00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:33,310
Oh, right, God love you, yeah.
32
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,830
And I found this on my chest.
33
00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:38,070
Oh, God, that's a rash, Pat.
34
00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:40,590
- Looks like a bit of eczema,
or something. - Yeah.
35
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,030
Me with diabetes,
36
00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:45,310
and you know, the asthma, from the...
37
00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:46,430
Yeah, I know, you told me,
38
00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:48,550
but you shouldn't buy
cigarettes on the street.
39
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,070
- Never ask directions.
- No.
40
00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:52,990
Irish...
41
00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:55,270
Now all I have is memories.
42
00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,190
Well, give you a rash too, I suppose.
43
00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:00,070
Asylum seekers. Ruin, now.
44
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:03,710
We're all immigrants, Pat, why
did your mother move over here?
45
00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:05,470
Ah, she was having a terrible time.
46
00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:07,230
Unmarried.
47
00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:08,630
Pregnant.
48
00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:11,070
- I tried to kill her.
- Well, there you have it.
49
00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:13,950
Plus, she was white, so she fit in.
50
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,440
Fuck me, right, bye, Pat,
good luck with your rash!
51
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:25,230
Lovely, here we go, OK.
52
00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:27,390
So, welcome to the cafe.
53
00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:29,270
Or as we say in English...
54
00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:31,110
- Cafe.
- Cafe, Exactly.
55
00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:33,390
Can I have... a can of Coke...
56
00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:34,950
- Mm-hm.
- .. and chips, please.
57
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,070
Yeah, I mean, we're
more of an upmarket cafe,
58
00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:39,350
but yeah, go on, grand,
there are some chips for you.
59
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,230
And also, it's "may", not "can".
60
00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,310
Uh... May of Coke?
61
00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:44,350
What?
62
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:45,550
Oh, no, no.
63
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:49,110
It's "may I have a can of Coke",
not "can I have a may of Coke?"
64
00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:51,750
Ah, may! Ha, May, yeah.
65
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,310
Theresa May!
66
00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:57,830
Theresa May. We definitely
don't sell her at the cafe.
67
00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:00,230
And that is L30, please!
68
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:01,630
Lovely.
69
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:03,110
Right, who's next?
70
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:04,720
Victor. Come on.
71
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:08,280
What can I get you?
72
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:11,710
A vodka Coke.
73
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,230
Who would sell this at a cafe, Victor?
74
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:17,950
No, it's "May I have
vodka and Coke, please?"
75
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,270
Right, so I'm the teacher here.
76
00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:21,470
Thank you very much.
77
00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:23,600
So, may I have...
78
00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:26,240
May I have...
79
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,320
Vodka and Coke.
80
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:33,070
A vodka and Coke.
81
00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:34,360
And...
82
00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:38,430
- Please.
- Please. Yes.
83
00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:40,350
Very good. Thank you.
84
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:41,760
That'll be L40, please.
85
00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:45,600
London prices.
86
00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,990
Thank you. I'm making it rain here!
87
00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:51,320
Fantastic.
88
00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:55,480
- You rang, your highness?
- Thank you, you may sit.
89
00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,830
So. What's the craic, as you say?
90
00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:02,470
Ho ho! Your Jamaican
accent's coming along well.
91
00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:04,310
That doesn't work, actually, I'm Jamaican.
92
00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:08,470
Well... Ja-making me crazy with
your terrible Irish accent.
93
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:10,150
Seriously, though.
94
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:13,030
One of the guys has pulled out
of a job with this French kid.
95
00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:16,680
- Do you speak French?
- Oui, monsieur. Je parle plus q'un peu.
96
00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,030
Is that a yes? I don't speak French.
97
00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:23,830
Don't be... croissant with me
for making you feel inferior.
98
00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:25,920
No wonder you're single.
99
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,670
Wow. Zing.
100
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:30,990
No, no, I'm sorry...
101
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:32,550
- Yeah.
- It was... banter?
102
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:34,470
No, no, no. It's fine. It's fine.
103
00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:35,830
Yeah, what were you saying?
104
00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:38,670
Yeah, no, so... I'd love you to do it,
105
00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:39,870
um, but...
106
00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:43,670
- Mm-hm? - Do you think you could
call round for a quick hello now?
107
00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:46,630
- Now?! - Yeah, the father
wants to meet you first.
108
00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:48,230
So you'd be starting tomorrow,
109
00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:50,710
but it would be some nice dollar.
110
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:52,750
Um... I mean, yeah.
111
00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:54,990
Sterling would be nicer. But, er...
112
00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:57,590
- Yeah, yeah, of course I'll do it.
- Perfect.
113
00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:00,150
- Yeah, that's... grand.
- Address on the top.
114
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,230
Genuinely, thanks, I need the work.
115
00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:04,190
- So...
- Aine.
116
00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:06,630
Um... I'm sorry about that joke.
117
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:08,230
Oh, no, God, no, don't be silly!
118
00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:10,510
Don't be silly, just banter between mates.
119
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:13,000
I have no soul, James, you know that.
120
00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,680
- But I will be reporting you to Ofsted.
- No, please don't.
121
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:30,350
- Hi.
- Hi.
122
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,110
Oh, hi. I'm Aine.
123
00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:33,670
Right, yeah.
124
00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:35,070
Richard. Come on in.
125
00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:36,560
Oh, you're English.
126
00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:39,310
Uh, yeah.
127
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:40,510
So?
128
00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,710
Well, I just thought you might be French.
129
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:44,430
No. No.
130
00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:45,640
No, I'm not French.
131
00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:48,660
Well, let me know if you change your mind!
132
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:55,630
It's actually my...
133
00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:57,190
my...
134
00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:59,910
well, son, I suppose, yeah.
135
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:02,150
Yeah, son, that... who needs tutoring.
136
00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:04,800
Oh, right, so you don't need
help with your English, then?
137
00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,910
That is what we call in the
tutoring business... a joke.
138
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:10,720
Right. Yeah. Um...
139
00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,870
- He's 12. - Mm-hm. - He's
just moved here from France.
140
00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,350
I think his English is...
141
00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,950
is probably better than he lets on.
142
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,360
God, he sounds shifty.
143
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:24,830
Yeah, that's about it, really.
144
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:26,910
Uh, he has brown hair.
145
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,390
Then I am outta here!
146
00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:34,070
- Another one of your jokes?
- It was, yeah.
147
00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:36,720
Oh, and, er, his mother died recently.
148
00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:40,230
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
149
00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:41,280
Oh, it's OK.
150
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:45,150
- I actually didn't know her that well.
- Yeah, but, like...
151
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:46,790
for Etienne.
152
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,150
- Yeah.
- Wow. God.
153
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,590
That's...
154
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:51,990
And so you didn't know her?
155
00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:53,590
No, not really, uh...
156
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:55,950
No, we used to see each other once a year.
157
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,550
And now he lives with you?
158
00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:59,270
I'm, I'm his legal guardian.
159
00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:00,470
His father?
160
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,480
Yup, yup.
161
00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:05,920
- That too.
- Mm...
162
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,350
God, there's such different
consequences having sex
163
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:11,600
when you've got a penis
compared to a vagina.
164
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,350
I could have kept that
one in my mouth, actually.
165
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,430
Instead of letting it come out.
166
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:20,150
Uh, he's, uh, waiting upstairs.
167
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:21,400
If you, uh...
168
00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,200
.. if you want to go up.
169
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,470
- Maybe... now?
- Oh, yeah.
170
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:34,750
Hello, Etienne!
171
00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,390
I'm Aine, the English tutor.
172
00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:37,710
Bonjour.
173
00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:40,550
Oh -- no. Nous allons
commencer maintenant.
174
00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:42,720
Let's, er, let's start now.
175
00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:44,710
Hello.
176
00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:47,030
- Hello.
- You're a genius already!
177
00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:48,280
I can't believe it!
178
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:50,710
What are you playing?
179
00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:52,110
Mario Party.
180
00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:53,790
My favourite kind of party.
181
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:57,030
I used to know those guys back in
the day. Before they got famous.
182
00:07:57,080 --> 00:07:58,430
Erm...
183
00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:00,150
How long have you lived here for?
184
00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:01,550
Un mois.
185
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:02,910
Ah... English?
186
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,230
- Months.
- Ah, one month, yeah.
187
00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:06,750
Did your dad, eh...
188
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:10,110
Erm... Sorry, do you say
"Dad", or do you say, "Papa"?
189
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,710
- What does he do?
- He's selling books.
190
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:14,560
And he gives me this.
191
00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:18,480
Ooh, God.
192
00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:23,190
He's a bit, eh, he's a little bit like...
193
00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:25,150
"Hullo, hullo", isn't he?
194
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,510
Yeah, he's quite.
195
00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:28,590
Yeah.
196
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:31,400
- Do you have friends
here? Les amis? - Non.
197
00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:34,000
Well, you have one now.
198
00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:36,710
Me. I mean me, yeah.
199
00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:38,430
I mean, if you want to
be my friend, that is.
200
00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:39,990
- Non.
- No, you don't?
201
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:41,510
Oh, my God! That's...
202
00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:43,270
I mean... That's awful!
203
00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:44,630
Joking!
204
00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:47,430
You were joking? Well,
you absolutely had me.
205
00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:49,030
You big old joker.
206
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:51,470
So can we officially be friends, please?
207
00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:53,270
- OK.
- Yeah?
208
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:54,590
Amazing.
209
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:56,990
Vous aimez jouer avec moi?
210
00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:59,990
All the French has completely
gone out of my head, Etienne.
211
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,710
You want to play with me?
212
00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,390
I has another...
213
00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:05,510
Oh, well, not now.
214
00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:07,430
But, if your dad doesn't hate me,
215
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,270
and there's a strong chance that he might,
216
00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:11,910
I'll come back again,
217
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:13,920
probably tomorrow, maybe?
218
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:17,800
You won't come back.
219
00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:22,310
Now. Etienne, excusez-moi.
220
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:25,510
I will come back and I will tell you why.
221
00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:28,550
I am actually a champion...
222
00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:31,950
tiny Italian plumber's party... player.
223
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,590
And I bet you five...
224
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:37,120
cinq... pounds...
225
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:41,030
And I promise you that I'm
going to come back tomorrow
226
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,310
and beat you at the game.
227
00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:43,830
What?! Yes.
228
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:46,350
- OK. - Yeah? - Five
pounds. - Five pounds.
229
00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:47,640
It's a promise.
230
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:53,030
- Right. - Yes. - So...
231
00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:54,390
er, tomorrow at five?
232
00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:58,120
Yes, yes, for more of our
hilarious, quick-witted banter.
233
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:02,710
Erm... So, when you
guys are hanging out...
234
00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:04,880
Er... Hanging out?
235
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,590
Yes. Like, hanging out.
236
00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:11,070
Erm, it's really good
if you can read to him.
237
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,760
- That sort of stuff really helps.
- Right, er...
238
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:19,230
Is that something that, er,
maybe you could do with him?
239
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:20,950
Er, yeah.
240
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,990
OK, well, I have to go, cos
we're having a night in, so...
241
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,510
You and your husband?
242
00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:28,550
Ha! Husband! Very good. No, um...
243
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,150
My sister.
244
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,710
- Right. - I mean, she's a
bit like my husband, but...
245
00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:33,910
Do you have a wife?
246
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:34,990
No.
247
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:37,070
I'm just...
248
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:38,760
Just a son suddenly, so...
249
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:40,800
Right, well.
250
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,630
Your jacket's very, er...
251
00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:45,000
um, John Motson.
252
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,630
I don't know who... that...
Is that a compliment?
253
00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:51,600
Er, football reference.
254
00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:53,840
OK.
255
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:57,950
Oh, is that...
256
00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,110
Ah.
257
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:01,040
Christ on a bike.
258
00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:06,990
It's a good gag actually, cos, look.
259
00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:08,830
That's John Motson.
260
00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:12,510
This is him with the sheepskin.
261
00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:13,550
Oh, shit.
262
00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:15,430
We should have got the ones with the...
263
00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:18,390
Can we not take them off now,
my cacking neck is killing me?
264
00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:20,350
No, you've got to leave
it on for 20 minutes.
265
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:22,910
- Oh... - That's the point. And
that's tension, by the way. - What?!
266
00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:25,550
- It's where you hold your sadness.
- Better than my arse, I suppose.
267
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,830
It's just cos I didn't
sleep again last night.
268
00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:31,190
- Well, you should talk to your
therapist... - Let me finish.
269
00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:33,310
Because Bradley and Emma
were having sex so loudly.
270
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,870
Honestly, like two alley cats
punching each other in the face.
271
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:39,830
- Why are you still seeing your
therapist? - Oh! - Seriously...
272
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:42,550
Hey, tell me about your one Charlotte.
273
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,350
Just, what does she look like?
274
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:45,550
What does she look like?
275
00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:47,590
- Paint me a picture.
- I'll show you a picture.
276
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,030
- Oh, do, yeah.
- She's got this mad long neck...
277
00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:51,710
- Urgh!
- Looks like a giraffe.
278
00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:53,390
- Oh, my God!
- But, like, in a good way!
279
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:56,030
- A pretty giraffe!
- And it's like her skin is nuts.
280
00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:58,070
You can't even tell from
that photo, it's just...
281
00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:00,710
- Is she wearing make up?
- No! She doesn't wear make up.
282
00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:01,950
- Oh, my God.
- Stupid cow.
283
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,470
Natural beauty, what a bitch.
284
00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:06,550
She's great, though. She feels
the same way as me about work
285
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,430
at the moment, just that
it's destroying her soul.
286
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:10,990
You have a brilliant job!
287
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,670
- Really? - Yeah. - What is my job?
288
00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:16,470
What... What do I do? What's my job?
289
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,630
What do I do? What is my job?
290
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:21,150
You do money! I don't know!
291
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,430
Stocks! Shares! Nasdaq.
292
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:26,470
Calculators. I don't know,
nobody understands the economy,
293
00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:29,230
that's why people blame everything
on immigrants. It's easier.
294
00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,910
- Oh my God, her website has music.
- I know, it's great, isn't it?
295
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,910
Gonna meet her tomorrow. Got
an idea I'm gonna pitch to her.
296
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:35,890
Ah!
297
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:37,920
OK!
298
00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:39,990
- Stocks!
- Wealth!
299
00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:41,190
- Shares!
- Money!
300
00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:42,670
Banking!
301
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:43,920
- Calculators!
- Funds!
302
00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:48,350
I'm going to eat you
like a little piece of...
303
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,550
- I can't remember...
- What an amazing impression!
304
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:51,710
It's Hannibal Lecter!
305
00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:55,720
I'm going to eat you
like a little chicken...
306
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:07,110
Hello, everybody.
307
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:11,590
Good morning, I am so
sorry I am late, everybody.
308
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,470
And also, I haven't had breakfast,
309
00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:16,390
so if my tummy grumbles, I... aaarghh!
310
00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:19,710
And please, just be polite
and pretend you don't hear.
311
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:23,030
I'm going to waste away, like
a leaf at the end of autumn.
312
00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:24,400
What's that?
313
00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:28,320
Oh, my God!
314
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:31,710
Jesus! Victor...
315
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:33,510
What happened to you?
316
00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:36,190
He won't speak to us.
We think racist attack.
317
00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:40,150
Oh my God, Victor, let me
see your eye, lovey. Jesus.
318
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:43,230
God, did somebody attack
you cos you're Bulgarian?
319
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:44,430
Yes, I'm Bulgarian.
320
00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:46,270
Brick hit me.
321
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,390
We're going to have to get that seen to.
322
00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:50,310
James, come on!
323
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,790
Some racist clocked the poor guy.
324
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:56,350
And I'm foreign, so an attack
on him is an attack on me.
325
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:59,190
- All right, Erin Brockovich.
- That's not fair.
326
00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:00,550
Fucking racism.
327
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:01,880
Bad, is it?
328
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:04,750
Yes, I do realise I'm a bit of a dickhead,
329
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,910
but James, he's very vulnerable.
330
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:09,230
And he barely has a word of English.
331
00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:12,590
So I would really appreciate you
just taking him to the hospital.
332
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:14,150
These aren't kids, Aine.
333
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,190
And if you feel so
strongly, you can take him.
334
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,990
No, I can't, cos I have to
tutor that French kid at five.
335
00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:20,910
- Yes, you do.
- Yes, I do. For you!
336
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,520
- No, you're being paid.
- Fair point.
337
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:27,960
- You defo can't take him?
- No!
338
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:36,350
Thanks so much for coming
with me, by the way.
339
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,350
God, I've got so much on today.
340
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:40,510
Of course. We are family.
341
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:42,910
Aw! That's so sweet.
342
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:46,230
I hate the way men don't talk
about their feelings, or pain.
343
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:48,990
Victor... He's a big man.
344
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:51,030
He don't fight racists.
345
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:52,830
So now he ashamed.
346
00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:54,550
Life can be hard for men, too.
347
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:57,230
But I think that vulnerability
is seen as a weakness.
348
00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:59,030
Do you know what vulnerab...
349
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:01,390
Vulnerability is like... Ughhh...
350
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:03,790
Life is hard for men.
Can't do anything now.
351
00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:06,520
Give a woman a hug in a bar,
suddenly you're a rapist.
352
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:09,760
Well, maybe if you don't
know her, don't hug her.
353
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,510
Gone too far, the whole thing.
354
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:14,830
Yeah, the whole thing, yeah.
355
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:16,200
Whole thing.
356
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,590
No, no.
357
00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:23,030
No police.
358
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:25,350
Fine, fine, Victor.
359
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,990
But you know, it's awful
how many racist attacks
360
00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:29,750
have been happening since Brexit.
361
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:32,430
Immigrants, just like us.
362
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:34,630
Too scared to call the police.
363
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:35,750
Hmph.
364
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,310
We're all just trying to
better our lives, you know?
365
00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:40,070
Feed our children.
366
00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:41,910
You have children, Aine?
367
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:43,200
Not that I know of, no.
368
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:45,230
Mm.
369
00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:48,390
You know these girls
from train? Shout at me.
370
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:50,950
"Fuck off, Brexit".
371
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:54,590
They Indian. Indian people, very racist.
372
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:57,910
Well, I mean, Jen, that in
itself is... I mean, that's...
373
00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,550
racist, because my sister's
boyfriend is Indian, so...
374
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:04,230
I laugh. I say to them,
"You stupid bitches."
375
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:07,390
I Chinese. So Brexit, I stay here.
376
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:11,150
I mean... I'll be honest with you, Jen.
377
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:14,830
While your views on Indian people
are at best, er, problematic,
378
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:17,030
that's a really good comeback.
379
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:19,510
Right, you can stay here with
him, because I have to go, so...
380
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,870
- No, I have to go.
- What? - Beat traffic.
381
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:23,400
Sorry.
382
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:25,880
Ah.
383
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:29,960
Oh, shiteballs!
384
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:40,750
Sorry, excuse me, hiya.
385
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,990
Erm, we have been here
for about four... hours,
386
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:46,550
and that is totally fine, because
obviously, this is all free,
387
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,270
so zero pressure, but, erm...
388
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:50,950
how many people are ahead of us?
389
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,910
There are four people ahead of you.
390
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,030
Hmm, interesting.
391
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,430
OK, hurry up, hurry up.
392
00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:58,510
Not you. Obviously, sorry, just...
393
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,270
Life. Life.
394
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:01,310
Life.
395
00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:03,630
My promise, my promise,
sorry, running late,
396
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:05,990
oh no! Shit, shit, shit.
397
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:07,390
Shit, shit.
398
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:08,870
- I'm so late.
- OK?
399
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:09,960
Yes...
400
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,160
Yes.
401
00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:18,830
You get so worried about gym class,
402
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:20,430
because you're just such a...
403
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:21,640
quiet man.
404
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:26,150
I mean, I find it hard to talk
about my feelings, and I'm, like...
405
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,480
chatty, with OK English, but...
406
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:33,870
Sorry. Excuse me...
407
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,190
Hiya. Me again!
408
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:37,670
Erm...
409
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:38,990
Could I just ask you...
410
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:40,670
Where are you from, originally?
411
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,630
I have worked for the NHS for nine years.
412
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,710
Oh! No, no, no, no, no.
413
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:46,350
No, I'm not asking in that way...
414
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,430
Oh, God, no, no, no. No. Erm...
415
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:51,750
- I'm Irish. So I'm not...
Sorry. You know what... - OK.
416
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:55,390
- I'm Bulgarian. - Fuck off,
you're not, are you? Oh, my lads.
417
00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:57,320
Hm, that is.
418
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:02,990
My... Bulgarian student
419
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,990
was attacked, in an attack.
420
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:07,870
Would you talk to him?
421
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:11,070
- Yes. - Oh, my God, you're
an angel, you're an angel.
422
00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:12,440
Jesus.
423
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:16,840
Oh.
424
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:51,840
Brexit.
425
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:57,190
What I wanna do is, I
wanna set up a kind of...
426
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:58,910
client networking event.
427
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:01,790
So exactly like the lads have,
just for women. But a good one.
428
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,950
You know, like, encourage
female investors,
429
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,710
and just try to push
for... ethical investments
430
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,270
and even simple stuff, like...
431
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:11,350
this client would be perfect for you,
432
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,470
- this one's a bit of a molester.
- Right.
433
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,150
- You might have to change that
for the press release. - Really?
434
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,550
You don't think "less
molesters" is catchy?
435
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:19,950
Sure!
436
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,630
What would you want me to do?
437
00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:23,230
Um...
438
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:26,310
Just set it up with me. I just
feel like I want to do some good.
439
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:29,190
So... Me and you, like...
440
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:32,150
Two sexy Yodas, passing on wisdom?
441
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:34,470
Yes. Exactly. Sexy Yo...
Actually, that is...
442
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:36,630
That's catchy, isn't it?
443
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:38,390
Sorry, I'm going to...
444
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:40,630
- No, go for it, take it.
- It's my... - Your sister? - Yeah.
445
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:41,950
Sorry.
446
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,070
Hey, I, um, I can't talk...
447
00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:45,270
but what's up?
448
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:47,150
Nothing, only I'm a giant stupid eejit.
449
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:51,150
- Yeah, no news there, then.
- I brought a man to the hospital
450
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,350
assuming that he'd been
involved in a racist attack
451
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:54,590
against Bulgarian people...
452
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:57,470
That's xenophobic, Aine.
That's not racist.
453
00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,190
Fantastic, even my terminology
is wrong, God, I'm such an idiot.
454
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:02,310
What's the problem? Sounds
like a nice thing to do.
455
00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:05,190
I never properly asked him what
had gone wrong, I just assumed.
456
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,270
- Well, that's idiotic.
- Eat my arse, Shona.
457
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:09,350
Eat MY arse! Eat my...
458
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,390
I've had no food today, just coffee.
459
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:12,790
- What?
- Who are you laughing with?
460
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:15,590
Erm, I'm with Charlotte.
I'm being rude, anyway.
461
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,430
Sorry, sir, could you
just pull in over here?
462
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:19,710
Just on the corner. Thank
you for the charger.
463
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,190
Thank you, no, keep the change.
464
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:24,190
Thank you. Anyway, so he was
basically on a building site,
465
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:25,990
and oh God, you know if I say this,
466
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,990
I would laugh, but it's so serious
-- like, James might fire me, Shona.
467
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:32,150
Anyways, I thought he said a prick
hit him. It was actually a brick.
468
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:33,350
I'm really sorry.
469
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,190
No, no need to apologise. Oh
my God, Shona, I actually feel
470
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:37,670
physically embarrassed by myself,
471
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:40,070
like I'm actually cringing
in my soul at the moment.
472
00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:41,950
I hate being a guilty
Catholic white woman,
473
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:44,190
I wish I was one of those
that voted for Trump. Also...
474
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:46,870
Aine, will you just calm
down? Just calm down.
475
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:49,790
I'm going now, I have to go into
this job, my Dad's gonna hate me,
476
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:51,670
my battery went dead
before I could text him
477
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,870
- and I made a promise to the French boy.
- Are you on drugs?
478
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,840
- Shut up, Shona, you're on
drugs, fuck off! - Yeah, OK, bye!
479
00:20:58,840 --> 00:20:59,990
You all right?
480
00:21:01,540 --> 00:21:02,270
Yeah.
481
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:04,230
Yeah. Yeah, she's great.
482
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,550
She's great. She just gets a bit...
483
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:10,070
She gets a bit overwhelmed,
you know. So, sorry.
484
00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:12,190
Maybe rule number one of our new club
485
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:14,830
is that we have to take a
shot every time we say "sorry".
486
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:18,230
- OK. - Sorry, could we
get two sambucas, please?
487
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:19,510
Hang on, are you... You're in.
488
00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:20,790
Yeah, fuck it.
489
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,790
- Let's change the world, baby!
- OK! Let's change the world!
490
00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:26,150
Can I not have a sambuca,
though, sorry, just the...
491
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,680
it makes me barf. Just a tequila, sorry.
492
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,550
Just so you know, I did turn up.
493
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,150
Right, well, he's asleep now.
494
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,230
Yeah, and I am so, so sorry.
495
00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:38,910
Like, I genuinely am. And I
know it's so unprofessional.
496
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:41,310
Just, I, I had to take
someone to the hospital.
497
00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:43,710
My phone died, I mean...
498
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:46,230
But I will just say, I'm so good at my job
499
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:48,950
and in terms of him, English learning,
500
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,070
and all of that, for him...
501
00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:52,590
obviously, not a good example.
502
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:55,350
- He needs people he can rely on.
- Absolutely.
503
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,390
- And I am...
- Aine!
504
00:21:57,440 --> 00:21:59,630
- Hi, Etienne!
- Vous etes en retard!
505
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:02,390
Etienne, it's not polite
to call someone a retard.
506
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:04,390
That's... That's French for "late".
507
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:06,870
- Yeah.
- Right, of course. Jokes.
508
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:09,070
I mean, I'm just jokes, Richard.
509
00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:10,790
Well, your timekeeping is a joke.
510
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:12,880
The joker has become the jokee.
511
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,470
I'm... Je suis desolee, Etienne.
512
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:19,030
- I forgive you. - Ah!
- For the five pound.
513
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,510
See. More English than he lets on.
514
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:23,790
Yes, but in fairness, clever move.
515
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:25,470
Here you go.
516
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:26,710
What?
517
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:30,040
But I did also get you something,
in case you felt left out.
518
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,000
It's the new John Grisham.
519
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:38,640
Please.
520
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:45,390
- Can you do tomorrow at 5pm?
- I can!
521
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:48,030
- I can. - Are you sure
there won't be any...
522
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,990
dragons you have to slay en route, or...
523
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:53,030
There's no guarantees,
Richard. No, there is!
524
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:54,950
- There is a guarantee.
- There is.
525
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,710
- 5pm. - 5pm. - OK. - Absolutely.
526
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:57,990
OK.
527
00:22:58,040 --> 00:22:59,390
Good night.
528
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:00,640
Bonne nuit.
529
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:05,190
Oh, God.
530
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:06,400
Agh.
531
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:19,830
d I am going home
532
00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:23,550
d So leave me alone
533
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:27,960
d I am going home... d
534
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:34,960
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