Original subtitles

♪

[jaunty music playing]

WARM FEMALE VOICE: Your husband saw them

take a baby out of there.

And now he needs help.

[R&B music playing]

Side effects may include dry mouth,

fatigue, headaches, rage, melancholy...

Go to your assigned fulfillment center

-to receive your family's EGG. -[jaunty music playing]

Bring it home,

and let us take care of the rest.

The EGG will make everything okay again,

and this time it will be okay forever.

[whooshing]

-[birds chirping] -[electronic warbling]

[clock ticking]

[gasps]

♪

[sighs]

Goddamn it.

[soft electrical buzzing]

[sniffing]

[sniffs, gasps]

-[birds chirping] -[clock ticking]

[sniffing]

[sniffing]

[doorbell rings]

MRS. JONES: What do you mean, you're losing time?

You, like, blacking out completely or--

I don't know-- browning out?

You don't think it could be odorless, do you?

Or could you be, like-- I don't know-- fainting?

I used to faint kind of all the time in college.

No, no, no, I'm whooshing lightly.

Fainting is down.

This is up, like a-a floating.

A... a whooshing floating.

And it's happened more than once?

It happens at regular intervals.

I'll just be going about my day,and then I hear this music,

a short sequence of chords,

and then a kind of lightness, a whooshing.

And then, all of a sudden,

the next thing I know, I'm waking up.

Up there.

Up in my bedroom.

I used to think your kitchen got better light than mine,

but now I don't think it does.

And you chose these countertops

on purpose or...?

[scoffs] God, if I could strike a match

and burn the whole place down, I would.

Start all over again.

Would be something to do. Right?

Unless you think it's a brain tumor.

You don't think?

Well, did you call someone to take a look at it?

You know, a handyman or whatever his name is.

What is he gonna look at? What is there to see?

It could be odorless andcolorless.

Oh, well, what did your phone say about it?

I just...

I need you to be here when it happens,

to watch and tell me what happens.

Can you do that?

My allotted fulfillment hour is at 1:00.

Oh. Right.

Do you think I should go to my assigned fulfillment center

at 12:30 or 12:00?

They'll probably put us in a line, I guess.

Is yours earlier? Yours isn't earlier.

No, I-I'm not until 4:00.

4:00? [scoffs]

How do you even begin to wait?

You don't seem excited. Are you excited?

No. I am. I am.

But you do still want it, don't you?

Yes, I... No.

More than anything.

Yeah.

It'll be just like the commercials say.

"Your family's EGGwill make everything okay again,

and this time, it'll make everything okay forever."

Don't you just wish they'd show it to us?

You know, a peek at this thing

that's supposed to change our lives.

Mm, it'll be so great if it somehow helps

with Xerxes' babysitting anxietyor Xander's biting thing.

Oh. Oh, did Rex end up

liking his medication, or not so much?

Shh!

[clock ticking]

Hold on.

I think it might...

♪

Submitted for your approval:

Mrs. Janet Warren,

a woman who would seem to have everything.

Every... thing.

But possessions have weight.

We can't carry them all at the same time,

especially when taking an unscheduled trip

into The Twilight Zone.

[electronic chords playing]

[deep whoosh, click]

[The Twilight Zonetheme playing]

NARRATOR: You're traveling through another dimension,

a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind.

It is the middle ground between light and shadow,

between science and superstition.

And it lies between the pit of one's fears

and the summit of one's knowledge.

You are now traveling through a dimension of imagination.

You've just crossed over into The Twilight Zone.

[birds chirping]

[sighs]: Ah.

Dad, what's "immolation" mean?

Well...

that's certainly a big word.

But I'll tell you.

You remember our neighbor Don Parker?

Well, instead of having a garage sale,

he just lit a match to his house

and burned everything and everyone to the ground.

And that was that--

a fresh, clean start for Don Parker.

But why do you ask, Billy?

Is there something or someone you want to immolate?

Mm. I get it.

I really do.

But we can't all be Don Parker, son.

But, you know, there is a place we can go.

WARM FEMALE VOICE: Come on over to

the Immolation Station, where you get to play with matches,

-and you get to watch it all burn. -[fire roars]

-[laughs] -MAN: Fire.

-WOMAN: Hey. -WARM FEMALE VOICE: Don't forget,

every Wednesday, kids eat free.

[piano playing gentle melody]

It'syour EGG,

and you want it more than anything.

-[birds chirping] -[clock ticking]

[dog barking in distance]

What happened?

Is this... is this what's happening?

Did you hear the music?

Is this your bedroom?

I like the patterning. It's brave.

-How did we get up here? -Join the club.

Did I faint?

Did I hit my head? Did we hit our heads?

[gasps] What time is it?

Did we...? [gasps]

I really ought to

get out of here-- I-I mean, oh, get going.

I saw the EGG.

Huh?

The EGG.

I'm telling you, I saw it.

Oh, well, no.

[chuckles] You couldn't have.

No, you didn't.

What do you mean you just saw it?

Just now? Where? Was I there?

I don't know. It was like I saw it in a commercial,

like a commercial in my head, I guess.

I don't know. I just know that I've seen one.

It's ugly.

Ugly, no.

[chuckles softly]

Yeah, I doubt that very much.

They wouldn't go to all the trouble

to design and make something

that's, you know, that's for all of us,

that will be the centerpiece for every American home,

and then make it ugly.

No.

But don't you see

that none of us even knows what it is or what it does?

Don't you think it's strange

that all we know is that we have to have one,

everyone has to have one?

Strange? What makes it so strange?

What if it has something to dowith whatever's happening to me?

The EGG.

What if it has something to dowith whatever's happening to us?

Oh, no.

[laughs] No, no, no.

Don't include me in whatever is happening here with you.

I just came over here as a good neighbor to see

if there's anything I can do to help you.

We might have a lotof the same things,

but we don't have the same problems.

We just woke up on my bed

with our shoes on.

I have a twig in my hair.

That wasn't there when you came in

and we were talking earlier, was it?

I-I don't know if it was there or if it wasn't.

I just know that

my hour of fulfillment is gonna be here before I know it,

and I really ought to be home, so...

Thank you.

Okay.

-No! Wait! -[laughs]

Are you touching me?

What if they're connected?

The EGG and the... the rushing, rising whooshing?

Ow! You're hurting me.

Something is happening here,

and you don't know what it is, either, do you, Mrs. Jones?

I just want to be at my fulfillment center

at my fulfillment hour to collect my family's EGG

-like a normal person. -No!

[yelling]

-No! -[yelling]

[groans]

We do nothave the same problems!

[cries]

[sighs]

[door opens, closes]

[sniffles]

-[line ringing] -MEGHAN: Dick Warren's office.

This is Meghan.

Hi, Meghan. It's Jane.

Is my husband there?

Hi there, Mrs. Warren. I'm so sorry.

Mr. Warren is in a meeting.

Is there a message you'd like me to give him?

Oh, honestly, Meghan, I can't imagine.

He did want to make sure

that I remind you that your allotted hour

of fulfillment is 4:00 p.m....

Uh-huh. Yeah, I know.

You don't seem excited, Mrs. Warren.

-Aren't you excited? -[cabinet door closes]

Tell me something, Meghan.

Why do you want your family's EGG?

Uh... because

it's coming out?

Of course, but...

But you don't have a family.

Do you?

No, but I do want everything to be okay again.

And this time for it to be okay forever.

Because things aren't okay for you.

Oh, for me? Things are cool.

But, like, for theworld world out there, outside of me?

Outside of you, sure.

Um, Mrs. Warren, things are really, definitelynot,

like, in theworld world.

So definitelynot okay.

Like, not at all, not at all.

I mean, have you seen what all these human beings are doing?

Interesting.

So you think it's something for the whole planet?

Don't you think it'd better be, Mrs. Warren?

Um, Mrs. Warren?

Hmm.

AUTOMATED FEMALE VOICE: Welcome to the EGG Customer Service Center.

Operator.

Please listen to the following options.

-Operator. -If you'd like to confirm

your hour of fulfillment, please press one.

-Human being. -If you've lost your registration card,

-please press two. -Real human being.

If you need to change the pickup location

-of your EGG... -Supervisor.

Okay. Supervisor. Hello. How may we help you?

Yes, yes, hello.

Hi. Thank you.

Uh, yes, uh, well, I was hoping

I could talk to someone about, you know, the EGG.

I was hoping there might be someone there

that could tell me just a little bit more about,

you know, what it is, what it does.

What it is.

[musical tones sounding]

Okay, I'll transfer you now.

No, no, I don't want to be tra...

[Muzak playing over phone]

♪

[tires screeching]

Marge.

God, everything's gonna be okaythis time.

It's gonna be okay forever.

Oh.

Marge Stevens.

What? What?

[gasping]

You got your EGG.

[nervous chuckle]

Can I take a look at it?

No. Huh.

Are you out of your mind? I have to--

I have to get it inside. Inside.

[line ringing]

WARM FEMALE VOICE: This is Meghan.

How may we assist you?

Meghan?

Um... Oh, uh, hello.

Hmm. Uh...

this is Jane Warren

of 13182 Teacup Road.

And... well,

I know this might sound strange,

but I was just wondering if it's still possible

to cancel my family's EGG.

Cancel?

Yes.

I-I mean, you know...

Well-well, you see, the thing is, I-I just,

I don't, I don't know, you know,what-what it is, exactly,

or, you know, what it's supposed to do...

[chuckles] ...exactly.

I mean, you know...

I just changed my mind.

And what is the reason

for the change in your mind?

Well...

I don't want it anymore.

I do-- I don't want any EGG... anymore.

Uh... thank you, though.

Thank you.

Is there anything else we can help you with today?

No. Um...

so you did it?

You canceled my order? You-you canceled my family's EGG?

We are processing your request.

Okay. I see. Um...

so you'll just... confirm

and let me know?

Or... send a confirmation to my...

[line clicks]

[birds chirping]

[lawnmower running nearby]

[door creaks]

♪

♪

♪

♪

[jaunty music playing]

WARM FEMALE VOICE: You've suffered some tough losses,

and no one blames you for crying in the kitchen

in the middle of the day.

You're heartbroken,

but you know how to choose your paper towels.

Now with 43% more clean-up power.

[gasps]

[hissing]

♪

[gasps]

[birds singing]

[line ringing]

[phone chiming]

[dog barking]

[woman clears throat]

Aquarian Portal, where we're not happy until

the planets revolve around you.

Shaman-ess Chantal Stargazer speaking.

How can I better align you with your cosmic purpose?

Ah, Chantal, thank God. It's Jane.

Oh... don't aggravate the marinade.

Jane Warren.

Yes. Yes, yes, oh...

Oh, how magical.

Can we talk for a minute, I mean, really talk?

-Like real human beings. -[slurping]

Knock yourself out.

I don't want to say this out loud, but

I think I might have been, you know, taken.

[whispers]: Abducted.

-Abducted? By who? -Do my planets say

anything about any of this or anything?

The planets say,

"Today all well-worn and trusty paths are covered over,

"and a new map is drawn.

"Only you have the power to reroute

"the flow of the river of space-time.

"Don't let yourself be swept up by anyone else's dreams.

"Untether yourself.

Resist gravity and fly away."

Resist gravity.

Of course.

Let's see you beam me up now, Scotty,

or whoever you are.

[breathing deeply]

♪

♪

ALL [in unison]: Well, what do we...?

Well... what do...?

KANAMIT 1: Well, what do we do now?

KANAMIT 2: Its leg is stuck.

KANAMIT 1: We could take it without its leg.

KANAMIT 3: Its leg is its best piece.

KANAMIT 1: Mmm, all of this leg talk is making me hungry.

KANAMIT 2: Mmm, are we thinking original recipe or extra crispy?

ALL: Original recipe it is.

KANAMIT 1: But we should take a vote.

KANAMIT 3: What is it about a single shared mind

that he doesn't understand?

KANAMIT 1: Let's be careful with our pronouns.

KANAMIT 2: He understands everything that you understand.

KANAMIT 1: We understand everything thatwe understand.

KANAMIT 2: I love us.

KANAMIT 3: I also love us. That is not...

KANAMIT 1: We love us.

ALL: Yes, that really is best.

Well, what do we do now about the madwoman

in the oxygen tower?

KANAMIT 3: The transfer ray will wear off soon.

Whatever we do, we don't want it to wake up.

KANAMIT 1: We are afraid of them waking up.

KANAMIT 3: Because they have their own mind.

KANAMIT 2: Their own terrible desires and wishes.

KANAMIT 3: Their own horrifying lack of this

-and that. -Hey!

I said "Hey!"

You can't just pull us out of our lives, you know.

What, exactly, are you doing with me, anyway?

ALL: We don't know. We only work here.

Is there someone I can talk to?

Uh, your... your leader.

Your supervisor.

Take me to your supervisor.

♪

My name is Janet Warren, born Janet Davey,

July 7, 1974.

Five-six, 137 pounds.

When I was a little girl, I got lost in an amusement park

for two hours, but really I was hiding

in one of the backstage areas

with the mascot character costumes.

When I was a junior in high school,

I wanted to be an Olympic ice skater

or a country-western singer.

But then I was none of those things.

I'm married. I have two children.

Two sons.

Two years ago I delivered

a stillborn baby girl.

The light in the room was very harsh.

Very hard.

Very hard.

I hate the paint colors I chose when we remodeled,

and I hate the living room drapes.

I hate our cars.

I wish that I didn't have all of the things that I have

and instead had different things.

I'm afraid of spiders and horses.

WARM FEMALE VOICE: Yes, we know.

Where am I?

WARM FEMALE VOICE: Are you comfortable?

Yes. Thank you.

Please do not make any individualized,

threatening movements.

Threatening?

You're not afraid of me, are you?

Are you comfortable?

Yes. Thank you.

But why are you afraid of me?

WARM FEMALE VOICE: We are afraid of how often

you change your minds, and so unexpectedly.

But surely you change your mind sometimes.

Don't you?

Ours is a single shared mind.

To change it would require the same energy needed

to reverse the flow of your so-called Mississippi River.

One mind. That doesn't sound very democratic.

In a democracy, half the population

wants something different than what they're getting.

We've seen how that can go.

You're talking about Earth.

What's left of it.

You've been watching us?

Yes.

Since first we heard your radios.

Nineteen hundred and forty-five,

the United States defeat Japan.

Nineteen hundred and sixty-five,

the Beatles defeat the son of your God, and so on.

Well, no, that's not exactly right.

And then, in your 1950s, when you started sending pictures,

we watched.

The trials of your kings, the collapse of your towers.

We studied the applause of studio audiences,

hoping it was evidence of a single, shared mind.

You can imagine our disappointment when we learned

it was artificial and canned, like your diet colas.

But more than anything else,

we studied your television commercials.

We struggled to understand

what was important to you, what you loved.

What you wanted, what you needed, and why, so often,

they weren't the same thing.

You have all of this unbelievable technology,

and all you've been doing is watching television?

Specifically, we have been watching

your television commercials, yes.

But we don't even watch ourtelevision commercials anymore.

We've, I don't know, evolved.

We skip right past them.

It's true, you have evolved.

Commercials now grow in the rich soil

of your unconscious minds.

And that matters to you?

It only matters that humans are stopped.

But...

Okay.

But what did I ever do?

I'm not in charge of anything, or...

any governments or countries or...

The Kanamit understands that a human being is most vulnerable

when it perceives a lack of something.

All you ever did is want something

other than what you already had.

But that's anyone.

That's anyone around here.

That's, that's Ellen Jones,

that's Marge Stevens from right next-door.

But your wanting is powered by grief.

Like the great glittering cities of your world,

we can see your wanting from space.

My grief doesn't make television commercials.

So you've been... monitoring us?

Watching our commercials so you can see...

what makes us weak?

So you can what?

Invade us or something?

[gasps]

The EGG.

You know what it is, don't you?

Of course I know what it is.

Who do you think laid it?

Who do you think laid all of them?

♪ Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows...♪

-Yeah! -The idea wasn't ours, of course.

The idea for the EGG was yours,

-Mrs. Warren. -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[whoops]

[tires screech]

♪ And I feel...♪

-[music stops] -[chuckles]

WARM FEMALE VOICE: So that everything could be okay again,

and this time okay forever.

And that's really all we're doing.

Everything will indeed be okay again.

-Uh-uh. Okay... -Especially because

there won't be any human beings around

to change their minds about it.

[snarling]

Uh-oh-- oh, that's not very nice.

-[crunching] -Oh, God!

[screaming]

[loud pop]

[birds chirping]

♪

Hello?

Excuse me?

I wonder if you can tell me what time it is on Earth.

I'd like to go back now, please.

I'd like to go home.

You won't be able to stop anything.

And here with us, you'll be safe.

I don't care about that, and I don't want to,

for God's sake, stay here with you.

I just want to be at my designated fulfillment center

at my allotted hour of fulfillment,

like a normal person.

You remember that you attempted to cancel your family's EGG.

It's true, I did.

But that was before I knew what it was.

It wasn't really canceled, was it?

You understand that your EGG is a spawn

designed to eradicate the human race?

Yes.

That doesn't matter to me, either.

You understand that your EGG is...

Yes.

I understand.

And I know.

I just...

...want to hold it.

Even for a little while.

Because it's...

Well, it's mine.

[sirens wailing, helicopter blades whirring]

[glass shattering]

[people screaming]

[explosion in distance]

-[explosion] -[screaming]

[glass shattering]

[explosion]

[woman shouting indistinctly]

[explosion]

[people screaming]

It would be much, much better

if it was you who was coming home with me today.

[glass shattering]

[screaming]

[alarm wailing]

["Since I Don't Have You" by The Skyliners playing]

[man shouting indistinctly over megaphone]

♪ I don't have plans and schemes♪

♪ And I don't have♪

♪ Hopes and dreams♪

♪ I don't have anything♪

♪ Since I don't have you...♪

MRS. DAVIES: Jane, oh, Jane, you're here!

Because if anyone deservesto have their own EGG, it's you.

Nine out of ten of us agree.

But it really does make everything okay again.

And this time it's gonna be okay forever. You'll see.

-Oh, you'll see! -♪ I don't have♪

♪ Happy hours♪

♪ I don't♪

♪ Have anything♪

[laughs]

♪ Since I don't have you♪

♪ You, you, you♪

♪ You...♪

Existential dread got you down?

Well, Mrs. Janet Warren finally found relief.

Albeit for a limited time only.

But buyer beware: all sales are final

here in The Twilight Zone.

Captioning sponsored by CBS

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org