Original subtitles

Pop quiz.

Why did Evie Grayson become the King's point killer?

Any takers?

"Oh, she was evil. She was deranged".

It's a question I've thought a lot about,

and the answer is so freaking simple.

She was sick of being treated like a dog.

- Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -

Hola, muchachos.

It's me, the Roarcat.

Roarcat.

Hola, muchachos.

Work it for the thumbnail!

Welcome to the Rory story.

If you couldn't guess, today is all about those beautiful pores.

I have an oatmeal mask on and if you want...

Oh, no, no.

No, no, no...

No, no, no...

No, no.

Rory! Living room, now!

Yes, violets.

It's says for the boys in blue. Right, blue everything.

Everything has to be blue, Beth.

I don't want some DJ. This is a soiree.

I want to have ambiance and jazz.

Hey, cake. Money is over there.

Mom, I need to talk to you.

About that bomb that went off on your face?

I told you not to post that stupid photo.

They're trolling me again.

Cause some kids think that you like mayonnaise, Rory?

Officers are being slaughtered in the streets.

Go.

Oh, Beth. Help me. I'm drowning in hormones here.

They think I'm a joke.

Rory, it's just high school. Just breathe.

Hi, Beth. Sorry.

Uh, yeah, go ahead and order some...

Not... Not today.

I mean, really. Do those even qualify as shorts?

Rory, think about it.

What would your father say?

I don't know.

Dad, thoughts?

Right.

♪ Ice cream, ice cream ♪

♪ Ice cream, ice cream ♪

Uh, ladies and gentlemen,

we've got mayonnaise Mary rolling through.

Hey, Moses.

No mayo for me.

Do you have my mom's cake?

Do you mean, the sickest cake ever made?

Grab a sit.

Wow. Rory, you look so cute.

What do you call this trailblazing look?

Your fans need to know.

The kids have one condiment on the brain,

and it is mayonnaise.

Here we go. For our fallen heroes.

I don't think I've ever known a celebrity before.

Um, I've peed next to Conan once.

Not all gingers are Conan, Raz.

Could you take a photo with me?

Um, yeah.

I mean, why?

Cause you're like internet famous.

No thirst-trapping.

Do the "Mayo Mary" face from the meme.

Um, my name's not Mary.

We all know you look good.

It's just a joke.

It's cool.

Yeah, people can't hate it if you own it.

Look, it's Mayonnaise Mary.

"Cause crime rates are like roach infestations.

You have to be swift and mercenary

in stomping out the bad guys".

- I like it. - Right?

And then I'll switch to talking about these...

Are you making dinner tonight?

These awful critics. There's quick mac in the pantry.

And then I'll start talking about the fundraiser and,

oh, that reminds me. I need to... people...

So you want to join the old speech for Gave, Ror?

Um, I get that you're compensating,

but that outfit screams prostitute

in bright neon letters.

I know. My tricks love it.

I bet they do.

Birchwood.

Stupid.

Dumb.

Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Hola, muchachos.

Welcome to the Rory story.

Pop quiz.

Why did Evie Grayson become the King's point killer?

Any takers?

"Um, she was evil. She was deranged".

It's a question I've thought a lot about.

And the answer is so freaking simple.

She was sick of being treated like a dog.

So...

who here believes in the stories about the woods

and those things that go bumpity bump in the night?

Since Evie went missing a year ago,

I've dived into research.

The newspaper articles, blogs,

my mom's fiancé's old case files.

And, you know what? I found some instructions.

Notes on how to conjure up a certain companion of Evie's.

A protector.

To quote my findings, "I will gift her my blood.

I will gift her the possessions of those who scarred me deepest.

And in return,

I will receive her loving protection

against their awful stench".

Oh, I hope you enjoyed kicking me Brian Moses.

Because just like Evie Grayson,

I'm done being treated like a dog.

No.

- Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -