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1
00:00:54,821 --> 00:00:56,199
Now for our first caller.
2
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:57,634
You're on the air, sir.
3
00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:59,702
I want to complain
about that new factory
4
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,538
they've put up over
on Central Avenue.
5
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,640
Now, that's an ugly
building and an eyesore,
6
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:05,175
and among other things,
7
00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:07,244
it's going to create parking
problems and traffic jams,
8
00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:08,711
and for crying out loud,
9
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,647
haven't we got
enough smog already?
10
00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:12,982
Oh! Did you hear that?
11
00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:15,218
Oh, yeah, yeah... and
now for some music.
12
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:17,120
Oh, Lamont, don't you care
13
00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:19,589
about what's happening
in your community?
14
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:21,758
Of course I care what's
happening in the community,
15
00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:24,627
more specifically, the block,
16
00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:26,796
narrowing it down, this house,
17
00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:29,966
pinpointing it, this sofa,
18
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:33,892
and hitting it on the
head, this cushion.
19
00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:37,006
Lamont, that factory
20
00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:38,875
is right here in
this neighborhood.
21
00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:39,876
As a matter of fact,
22
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:41,511
it's right down the street
23
00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:43,780
on this very block.
24
00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:45,848
Yeah, I know all about
that factory, Denise,
25
00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:47,884
and that's terrific and
everything, but see, like,
26
00:01:47,908 --> 00:01:50,587
there's a time and a
place for everything,
27
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,689
and this is the
time and the place.
28
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:54,257
Oh, Lamont,
29
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,582
you're a shallow,
uninvolved person.
30
00:01:58,051 --> 00:01:59,296
I am not.
31
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:01,064
Look, if I wanted to, I
could call that station
32
00:02:01,088 --> 00:02:03,100
and tell them a few
things, if I wanted to.
33
00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:05,135
Well, so, go right ahead,
34
00:02:05,159 --> 00:02:06,970
go on, tell them right now.
35
00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:08,371
Oh, there's no way in the world
36
00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:10,740
you're going to get me
to call up that radio station
37
00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:12,942
and talk to them people
and make a fool of myself.
38
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,211
Lamont...
39
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:16,913
Ain't no way you're
going to get me to do that.
40
00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:19,549
I would only give myself totally
41
00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:24,876
to a man that gets
involved, really involved.
42
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,625
What's the number
of that station?
43
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,549
555-3211.
44
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:33,296
You want involvement?
45
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,465
I'll give you involvement...
46
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:38,390
Some involvement.
47
00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:46,243
Hello, is this the
"Talk Back Show"?
48
00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:49,479
Well, this is "Involved"
Sanford calling.
49
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:50,847
Am I on the air?
50
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:52,415
Good.
51
00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:54,817
Well, I just want to say, I
want to make a comment
52
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:56,486
about that guy that
called about the factory.
53
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,221
Now, that factory
might be an ugly building
54
00:02:58,245 --> 00:02:59,956
and an eyesore and everything,
55
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:01,391
but it takes millions of people
56
00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:05,384
off unemployment and welfare
and gives them steady jobs.
57
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,193
In fact...
58
00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:21,044
I would do all that I could
59
00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:23,735
to encourage more
trade in the area...
60
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:31,020
To make jobs available
for people who want to work,
61
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,690
and give them steady
employment and pride and dignity
62
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,847
so they can hold
their heads up high.
63
00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:42,765
It's one thing to have
trouble breathing,
64
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:45,202
and it's another thing
to have trouble eating!
65
00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:48,159
That's all I want to say.
Thank you very much.
66
00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:50,895
Come here!
67
00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:07,023
Hi, son.
68
00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:09,125
Hey, Pop, what
are you doing here?
69
00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:11,394
I thought you and Grady
went to the drive-in movie.
70
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,530
We did, son, but
see, after the movie
71
00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:15,365
they were going
to raffle off a turkey.
72
00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:16,499
So?
73
00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:18,857
So a lady left early
and backed over him.
74
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:24,541
Yeah, it was terrible.
75
00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:28,645
They even took him to
the vet, but it was too late.
76
00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:31,303
The poor thing was DOA.
77
00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:35,240
That's Drumstick on Arrival.
78
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:40,823
Hey, it's getting
pretty late, you know?
79
00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:44,961
You haven't introduced
us to your lady friend.
80
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:47,397
Denise, this is my
father, Fred Sanford,
81
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:48,398
and his friend Grady.
82
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:49,399
How do you do?
83
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:51,668
Hi. Hello, Dolly.
84
00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:53,303
Yeah, it is getting
late, though.
85
00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:54,671
Fred, I'll see you.
86
00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:55,838
Lamont, take it...
87
00:04:55,862 --> 00:04:57,274
Oh, and it's nice
meeting you, Dennis.
88
00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:59,442
Denise.
89
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,645
Yeah, Denise.
90
00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:03,568
Denise the Menise.
91
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:07,005
Hey, listen, man...
92
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,222
Denise, can I get you something?
93
00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:14,391
Oh, no, thank you.
94
00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:15,992
Well, would you
excuse us for a minute?
95
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:16,993
Sure.
96
00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:19,763
Can I see you in
the kitchen, father?
97
00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:21,931
Excuse us.
98
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:24,668
I just want to have a little
involvement with my dad.
99
00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:26,803
Hey, man, what's
the matter with you?
100
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,638
Listen, son, I know
everything that's going on here,
101
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,106
and that's your business.
102
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,474
I was hoping you'd understand.
103
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,777
I mean, if you want to stay
down here, with that girl,
104
00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:35,111
that's your business. Thank you.
105
00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:37,314
If you want to be hugging
and kissing her all night,
106
00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:38,615
that's your business.
I appreciate it.
107
00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:41,017
But when she smacks your
face and the police come here
108
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:43,620
and arrest me for
harboring a sex maniac,
109
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:45,087
then that's my business,
110
00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:48,925
so you get her
the hell out of here!
111
00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:50,515
Hey, man, I'm not...
112
00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:11,348
Would you knock
off the whistling?
113
00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:12,372
It's bothering me.
114
00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,288
Will you stop it?
115
00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:21,424
I can't, son.
116
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,693
It's the theme song from
the movie I saw last night.
117
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,995
See, it was a science
fiction western.
118
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:28,587
It was called
Blazing Werewolves.
119
00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:33,302
See, it's all about
this werewolf
120
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:36,094
that hid his six-shooter
up under a wide flea collar.
121
00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:42,579
Come in.
122
00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:44,381
Hey, Mr. Sanford.
123
00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:45,648
Hey, Lamont.
124
00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:46,883
Listen, I've only got a second.
125
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:49,352
Yeah, your time is up.
126
00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:52,088
Would you dig yourself, Pop?
127
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:53,757
Listen, as Confucius once said,
128
00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:57,093
"If you don't want an order
of knuckles in your face,
129
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,350
then get your poking
noodles out of my place."
130
00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:07,103
Hey, man, ignore him.
131
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:09,227
Ignore who?
132
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:12,642
Listen, man, I've
got to tell you,
133
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:16,880
I listened to you last night,
and it sounded fantastic.
134
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:19,838
I thought I told you to
get that girl out of here.
135
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,219
That's not what he's
talking about, Pop.
136
00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:25,588
See, I called up the
"Talk Back Show"
137
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,223
and I said a few
things, that's all.
138
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:28,858
That's all?
139
00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:30,727
Listen, I'm telling
you, it was terrific, man.
140
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:33,262
The whole neighborhood
is talking about it.
141
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,464
What did you say?
142
00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:35,565
Well, I just, you know...
143
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:36,933
Oh, he was, like, angry.
144
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,769
He talked about old
people and unemployment
145
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:40,970
and ugly buildings...
146
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:43,640
Listen, son, if you
don't like it here,
147
00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:45,430
why didn't you tell me?
148
00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:50,346
I just wish everybody
would leave me alone, man.
149
00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:51,948
I've got some work
to do around here.
150
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,550
I'll get this, son.
Don't worry about it.
151
00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:55,952
I'll make them leave you alone.
Don't you worry about a thing.
152
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:59,155
You're Lamont Sanford...
153
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:00,857
Yes, I am. Who are you?
154
00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:03,225
And you're perfect,
absolutely perfect!
155
00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:05,795
Hey, wait a minute. I know you.
156
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:08,465
I saw you on television
at the last election.
157
00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:10,500
You were on the
mayor's platform.
158
00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:12,101
Correct.
159
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:15,071
Will you hold this
for me, please?
160
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:19,909
James Montgomery
Cambridge, mover of men,
161
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:25,214
past holder of public
office, servant to the people.
162
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:27,183
And who are you?
163
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:31,187
Fred G. Sanford, mover of junk,
164
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:35,492
present holder of
this stinking cigar,
165
00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,949
and servant to this dummy.
166
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,668
Say, why don't you have a
seat there, Mr. Cambridge?
167
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,103
All right, thank you.
168
00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:49,572
Say, you're the District
Committee Chairman, aren't you?
169
00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:52,709
Correct, and we've learned
170
00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:58,781
that the radio station reported
public opinion to your call
171
00:08:58,805 --> 00:09:02,986
at 90% positive,
and all morning long,
172
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:07,256
my office has been having
phone calls, telegrams.
173
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,625
It's incredible.
174
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:10,793
Well, that's nice and
everything, but, you know...
175
00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:11,861
"Nice"?
176
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,531
What do you think of
that, Mr. Sanford, huh?
177
00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:15,987
Hold this.
178
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:20,825
Now, shove it up your nose.
179
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,581
Lamont, I'll get to the point.
180
00:09:31,605 --> 00:09:35,018
You are the perfect
candidate to run for the office
181
00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:37,319
of State Assemblyman
in this district.
182
00:09:37,343 --> 00:09:40,222
Assemblyman? Me?
183
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:42,425
Hey, man, I didn't even
graduate from high school.
184
00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:44,126
Oh, Lamont, that doesn't matter.
185
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:46,095
You're down to earth, young...
186
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:47,897
You're a breath of fresh air.
187
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:50,589
Maybe you should
run for deodorant.
188
00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:57,206
Look, I appreciate
189
00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:59,909
all the nice flowery speeches
you're making, Mr. Cambridge,
190
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,211
but I'm just not interested.
191
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:04,647
Now, Lamont, I beg
you to reconsider.
192
00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:06,182
Your state is calling you.
193
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:08,250
No, man, definitely not.
194
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:11,754
Well, all right, I guess
195
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:14,857
I'll just have to cancel
your fund-raising dinner.
196
00:10:14,881 --> 00:10:17,894
Uh, fund-raising?
Fund-raising...
197
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:20,096
Listen, son, your
state is calling you.
198
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,700
Now, hurry up and
answer before they hang up.
199
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:26,268
Lamont, by the
way, just in passing,
200
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:30,439
an assemblyman does
earn about 20,000 a year.
201
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:35,177
My son, serving his country
with honesty and youth,
202
00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:38,815
serving his voters
with integrity and pride,
203
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,249
and serving his father
204
00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:42,793
with a new truck and a color TV.
205
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,099
Come right in. Welcome
to the black caucus.
206
00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:51,628
Hey, everybody.
207
00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:53,529
Say, Lamont, you mind
signing these postcards?
208
00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:55,732
I promised the fellows
down at the barber shop
209
00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,366
that I'd get your autograph.
210
00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:58,434
Do you hear that, Lamont?
211
00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:00,603
Why, every one
of those autographs
212
00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:01,604
represents a vote.
213
00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:02,905
And a dime.
214
00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:06,743
You're charging a dime
for Lamont's autograph?
215
00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:08,310
No, Fred.
216
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,312
That's what they offered.
The dime was their idea.
217
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,248
Why, that's magnificent.
218
00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:14,483
I wanted a dollar.
219
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,218
Say, look, wait a minute.
220
00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:18,587
Now, this whole thing
is getting all out of hand,
221
00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:21,290
me being assemblyman
and signing autographs...
222
00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:23,225
You're running for the assembly?
223
00:11:23,249 --> 00:11:26,095
Hey, that's terrific, Lamont.
You can make a fortune.
224
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,764
You can make a fortune,
225
00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:30,266
plus you get
$20,000-a-year salary.
226
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:34,937
Hey, Pop, would you
stop it? Now, just stop it.
227
00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:37,339
Mr. Cambridge, the point is,
228
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:39,308
I'm just not
qualified for the job.
229
00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:41,811
Qualified? What do
you mean, qualified?
230
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:45,948
The man is talking about
politics, not brain surgery.
231
00:11:45,972 --> 00:11:48,151
Through one of my connections
232
00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:49,952
at the Department
of Motor Vehicles,
233
00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:51,453
I took the liberty
234
00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:54,123
of having your
driver's license photo
235
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:56,881
put onto this poster.
236
00:11:58,484 --> 00:12:00,296
Hey, Lamont, look at that.
237
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:01,998
It's just a picture.
238
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:04,767
Lamont, if you decide to
run, we'll put them up all over.
239
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:06,202
Why, every person
in this district
240
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,871
will have your face
embedded in their memory.
241
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,306
Well, it is a nice likeness...
242
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:11,708
A very good likeness.
243
00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:13,642
Now, why don't you
reconsider it, huh?
244
00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:15,144
Come on.
245
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:17,180
Yeah, come on,
Lamont. Yeah, son.
246
00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:18,181
It's good for this district.
247
00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:19,582
All right, I'll do it.
248
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:21,650
So you have decided to
answer the call, huh, son?
249
00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:22,985
Yeah.
250
00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:25,387
Mr. Cambridge, my son
is going to take the call.
251
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:29,680
Would you kindly
deposit $20,000, please?
252
00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:41,104
Hey, son, it sure is
good to have you home.
253
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:43,439
You haven't been
home for dinner in weeks.
254
00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:44,473
Mm-hmm.
255
00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:46,342
Sure has been
lonesome around here.
256
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:47,777
Yeah.
257
00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:51,614
You know, I fixed your favorite
dinner tonight, to celebrate.
258
00:12:51,638 --> 00:12:57,475
I got steak, and onion rings,
and French fried potatoes.
259
00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:00,389
You love all that.
260
00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:03,681
Yeah, the French
fries, and the...
261
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:10,354
I got pig feet and chicken eyes.
262
00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:18,908
I've got the favorite
stuff you like here...
263
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:22,378
Peach cobbler and grits,
264
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:26,916
and Grady's knees
and bended fleas.
265
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:29,908
Here you are, son, right there.
266
00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:37,115
Gee, you finished already, huh?
267
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,969
I guess you were
so busy writing,
268
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:49,338
you didn't realize that
you had two helpings.
269
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:51,307
Oh, I'm sorry, Pop.
270
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:52,708
Listen, when we
move to Sacramento,
271
00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:55,344
I'm going to get you a cook
to make it easier on you.
272
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:57,680
Move? Move where, move?
273
00:13:57,704 --> 00:13:59,548
Well, if I become
an assemblyman,
274
00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:01,050
we'll have to move
to Sacramento, Pop,
275
00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:03,452
because the state
legislature is in the capital.
276
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:04,687
Move?
277
00:14:04,711 --> 00:14:06,889
I ain't moving
nowhere. I like it here.
278
00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:08,925
Then you can fly up and
see me every now and then.
279
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:11,294
Fly up? You mean,
you'd leave me here?
280
00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:12,528
Fly up?
281
00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:15,731
You'd like to fly
up? I'll fly you up.
282
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:19,190
I'll fly you up on
knuckle airline...
283
00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:26,164
And I'll fly you up, fist class.
284
00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:32,949
Oh, wow, look at the time.
I've got to get out of here.
285
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,217
You mean you're
going somewhere again?
286
00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:36,418
Listen, son, you don't never
stay home like you used to.
287
00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:37,653
Why don't you stay
home sometimes
288
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:39,322
so we can talk like we used to
289
00:14:39,346 --> 00:14:41,991
and sit on the couch and
watch television and stuff?
290
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:43,192
We could stay home tonight
291
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,660
and watch a good
horror or something...
292
00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:48,331
There's a monster picture
on tonight, your favorite.
293
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:49,665
It's called
294
00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:52,423
Teenage Frankenstein
Meets the Acne Doctor.
295
00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:56,739
Hey, Pop, look, man,
296
00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:59,041
I got that debate
tonight on television
297
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,042
with Harriet Radner.
298
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:01,110
How could you forget that?
299
00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:03,479
Well, if you can
forget your father,
300
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:05,848
I can forget a
television debate.
301
00:15:05,872 --> 00:15:07,816
Oh, man, hey, look, I'm sorry.
302
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:10,019
Look, I know we haven't been
spending any time together,
303
00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:13,389
but look, I promise you, Pop,
as soon as all of this is over,
304
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,157
we'll spend a lot of
time together, okay?
305
00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:16,359
Hey, I got a good idea.
306
00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:18,827
Why don't you come to
the station and watch me?
307
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:20,496
No, that's all right.
You go ahead.
308
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,964
I'll just stay
home and I'll wait
309
00:15:21,988 --> 00:15:24,466
in case somebody calls,
you know, taking a poll
310
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:28,670
to find out who's the
lonesomest old man in town.
311
00:15:28,694 --> 00:15:30,139
Well, I gotta be
running off, Pop.
312
00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:31,829
Take care, now.
313
00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:38,236
I ain't going nowhere.
Move to Sacramento...
314
00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:01,792
Come on in.
315
00:16:04,064 --> 00:16:05,041
Hey, Fred.
316
00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:06,342
Hey, Grady.
317
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:07,609
Hey, listen, Fred...
318
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,011
Grady, I don't know what to do.
319
00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:10,479
I'm gonna miss Lamont so much.
320
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:11,747
Yeah, but listen, Fred...
321
00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:13,149
When he moves up to Sacramento,
322
00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:14,783
I'll be in this
house all by myself.
323
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,252
Yeah, but listen, Fred.
324
00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:17,886
I feel so low... Listen, Fred...
325
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:20,156
And despondent. Fred!
326
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:22,624
I mean, geez, I'm
just depressed.
327
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,093
Well, listen, Fred,
328
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:26,996
the swinging Sandler sisters
are on their way over here.
329
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:28,940
I ain't never felt
this good. What?
330
00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:32,468
The Sandler sisters
are coming over here?
331
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:33,602
Yeah.
332
00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:35,204
When they coming over?
Well, any minute now.
333
00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:37,139
Well, let's get together, get
some party stuff together.
334
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:38,441
Well, I got the party stuff.
335
00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:41,043
I went out and got
some potato chips,
336
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:43,079
and a bag of pretzels,
337
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:46,315
and a whole bottle
of Silver Satin,
338
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:49,051
and I even got us some cigars
339
00:16:49,075 --> 00:16:52,243
so that we can offer
the ladies our Tipparillos.
340
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:57,994
What we'll do,
341
00:16:58,018 --> 00:16:59,795
we'll sit down and
pour us a little drink
342
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:01,697
so when they get here
we'll be looking cool.
343
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:02,698
Yeah, and suavé.
344
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:05,667
Yeah. Yeah, and swave.
345
00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:08,337
There they are.
Our little pigeons.
346
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:09,405
Right on time.
347
00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:12,841
Two little pretty
pigeons. Come in...
348
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,478
Come in, pretty pigeons.
349
00:17:15,502 --> 00:17:17,035
Welcome.
350
00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:30,292
Hey, Grady, it must be magic.
351
00:17:30,316 --> 00:17:33,817
Our two pretty pigeons
turned into an ugly buzzard.
352
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:39,402
Just as I thought...
Drinking, smoking,
353
00:17:39,426 --> 00:17:42,371
and wallowing in
a snake-pit of evil.
354
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:47,876
Listen, cobra-face, what
are you doing here, anyway?
355
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,978
That's all right.
Don't tell me. I know.
356
00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:52,214
You came here to
tell me and Grady
357
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:56,452
that you came in first at the
King Kong look-alike contest.
358
00:17:56,476 --> 00:18:02,124
Fred Sanford, I am here
in my official capacity
359
00:18:02,148 --> 00:18:05,227
to tell you that
Lamont has made me
360
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,229
Chairman of his Committee...
361
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:10,066
On Morality and Virtue.
362
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:13,069
Hey! Shut up, Grady.
363
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:18,107
Your son, as a politician,
cannot afford to associate
364
00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:23,345
with an evil-doing father
and his heathenish friends,
365
00:18:23,369 --> 00:18:27,616
so from now on, in this house,
366
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:32,020
there will be no more
drinking and no smoking.
367
00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:33,422
Praise the Lord.
368
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,746
And pass the ammunition.
369
00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:43,265
You go ahead on
and break that, honey.
370
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,534
Because you won't be
needing that no more,
371
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:47,970
because I just saw
the Sandler sisters
372
00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:49,138
and sent them away.
373
00:18:49,162 --> 00:18:50,339
No, you didn't. You did what?
374
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:53,041
You heard me... Oh, no.
375
00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:56,479
Now, hear this... Repent.
376
00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:58,314
Listen to the Lord.
377
00:18:58,338 --> 00:19:00,583
Let me put some
salvation in your ear.
378
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:03,285
You're right, Esther.
I've been wrong.
379
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:06,422
I've listened to you, and I'm
gonna make a deal with you.
380
00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:08,157
It's about time.
381
00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:12,928
I'm gonna let you put
some salvation in my ear...
382
00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:15,453
and I'm gonna put
some lead in yours.
383
00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:25,741
And federally funded,
low-cost housing
384
00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:28,810
deteriorates in a few years,
385
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:31,480
and we have yet another ghetto.
386
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:46,350
Thank you, thank you.
387
00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:55,959
In reply to my honorable
and distinguished opponent...
388
00:19:57,997 --> 00:20:00,176
All I will say about
the housing problem
389
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:04,202
- is that it is a problem...
- Wow.
390
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,851
But I assure you that
myself and my staff
391
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,587
will look into the subject
392
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:14,323
with all the diligence
at our command.
393
00:20:14,347 --> 00:20:17,025
Thank you.
394
00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:23,499
Now that the two
candidates have had a chance
395
00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:24,933
to meet each other face to face,
396
00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:26,302
we'll take a one-minute break
397
00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:28,504
and then come
back for the debate.
398
00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:31,139
Hey, Fred, Lamont's doing great.
399
00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:34,109
He's gonna win by a landslide.
400
00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:36,878
Yeah, and I'll be under it.
401
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,614
Lamont don't care
about me no more.
402
00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:40,182
Aw, come on, Fred.
403
00:20:40,206 --> 00:20:41,950
I mean, he moves to Sacramento,
404
00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:43,819
and leave me in that
house all by myself.
405
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:45,053
Aw, don't say that.
406
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,922
I'm gonna leave. No, don't.
407
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:49,024
Sir, sir, excuse me, sir. I
couldn't help overhearing.
408
00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:51,093
Did you have something to say?
409
00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:53,529
Something to say?
What, something to say?
410
00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:55,264
Well, yes, sir, you
were standing here
411
00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:57,266
and I, well, I thought
you might have a question
412
00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:59,435
or something to say to
one of the candidates.
413
00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:00,802
You see, we're newsmen
414
00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:02,404
and we'd like to hear
something that's newsworthy.
415
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:03,539
Oh, you're
newsmen. That's right.
416
00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:06,007
Yeah, I got something
to say to the candidate.
417
00:21:06,031 --> 00:21:08,477
I got something to say
418
00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:10,412
to this honorable and
distinguished dummy, here.
419
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:11,413
You go right ahead, sir.
420
00:21:11,437 --> 00:21:12,648
Lamont Sandford, that's him.
421
00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:13,649
Yes, sir.
422
00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:15,150
Son, come on home, will you?
423
00:21:15,174 --> 00:21:17,152
If you come on home, I swear
424
00:21:17,176 --> 00:21:18,987
I'll stop drinking
and give up smoking
425
00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:21,171
and won't fool around
with those nice girls...
426
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:25,227
And if you want to have a
girl downstairs on the couch
427
00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:27,829
every night, I don't care.
428
00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:29,164
That's you,
429
00:21:29,188 --> 00:21:30,799
because you're
younger than I am.
430
00:21:30,823 --> 00:21:32,601
Hey, come on back,
son. I'm not kidding you.
431
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:34,536
Just be careful when
you're down there
432
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,860
and don't make me no
grandfather before my time.
433
00:21:39,399 --> 00:21:42,811
I know I asked you to be an
assemblyman for the money,
434
00:21:42,835 --> 00:21:45,147
but I don't want you to be an
assemblyman for the money.
435
00:21:45,171 --> 00:21:47,716
Come home. You
make a better junk man.
436
00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:51,720
Sir, are you related
to Mr. Sanford?
437
00:21:51,744 --> 00:21:54,323
Damn right I'm related to him.
438
00:21:54,347 --> 00:21:56,258
I'm his long-lost father.
439
00:21:56,282 --> 00:21:57,693
I see.
440
00:21:57,717 --> 00:21:58,694
Come on home, son.
441
00:21:58,718 --> 00:21:59,795
Sir, sir, excuse me,
442
00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:02,298
you do realize that
we're on television?
443
00:22:02,322 --> 00:22:03,332
I didn't... Huh?
444
00:22:03,356 --> 00:22:05,301
We're on television, sir.
445
00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:06,635
We on television, now?
446
00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:08,637
Yes, sir, that
camera right there.
447
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,472
Everything we said
was on television?
448
00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:11,740
Yes, sir, everything.
449
00:22:11,764 --> 00:22:14,510
And it's live now?
Right there, sir.
450
00:22:14,534 --> 00:22:16,845
Y'all excuse me for
a minute. Yes, sir.
451
00:22:16,869 --> 00:22:18,647
Can you back up
a little bit? Yes, sir.
452
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:26,355
♪ If I didn't care More
than words can say ♪
453
00:22:26,379 --> 00:22:34,363
♪ If I didn't care
Would I feel this way? ♪
454
00:22:34,387 --> 00:22:36,554
♪ And now... ♪♪
455
00:22:49,669 --> 00:22:50,879
Where you going?
456
00:22:50,903 --> 00:22:52,548
Somewhere, anywhere, it
don't make no difference.
457
00:22:52,572 --> 00:22:53,549
You don't care.
458
00:22:53,573 --> 00:22:54,683
Aw, come on, Pop.
459
00:22:54,707 --> 00:22:55,818
That's right, you don't care.
460
00:22:55,842 --> 00:22:57,085
You're moving to Sacramento,
461
00:22:57,109 --> 00:22:58,954
and there ain't
nothing here for me.
462
00:22:58,978 --> 00:23:00,789
I might as well just
walk outside that door
463
00:23:00,813 --> 00:23:03,024
and fade on into the sunset.
464
00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:05,983
Pop, the sun went
down six hours ago.
465
00:23:07,353 --> 00:23:09,631
You don't care.
Look, I do care, man.
466
00:23:09,655 --> 00:23:12,300
I've withdrawn my
candidacy. I've quit.
467
00:23:12,324 --> 00:23:15,571
Yeah, you quit because
I embarrassed you.
468
00:23:15,595 --> 00:23:17,639
Yes, you embarrassed
me, but, look,
469
00:23:17,663 --> 00:23:19,508
I finally realized that I
wasn't qualified, man.
470
00:23:19,532 --> 00:23:21,142
What the people need is somebody
471
00:23:21,166 --> 00:23:23,245
that knows what's going
on in the community,
472
00:23:23,269 --> 00:23:25,180
and that person
is Harriet Radner.
473
00:23:25,204 --> 00:23:27,383
I think she'll make a
fine Assemblywoman...
474
00:23:27,407 --> 00:23:28,450
And it's not your fault.
475
00:23:28,474 --> 00:23:30,986
It is my fault, too.
It's all my fault.
476
00:23:31,010 --> 00:23:33,922
I feel like just walking
down the street,
477
00:23:33,946 --> 00:23:37,125
and just alone, contemplating
where I failed you.
478
00:23:37,149 --> 00:23:38,326
Aw, come on...
479
00:23:38,350 --> 00:23:41,062
I think I'll stop
by sanctified city
480
00:23:41,086 --> 00:23:44,266
and pour my soul
out to Reverend Spike.
481
00:23:44,290 --> 00:23:47,302
Well, if you think it will
make you feel better...
482
00:23:47,326 --> 00:23:48,637
It'll make me feel better, son.
483
00:23:49,896 --> 00:23:51,907
Hey, Fred, will you
please come on?
484
00:23:51,931 --> 00:23:53,776
Our pretty little pigeons
485
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:55,778
are waiting out
here in the truck.
486
00:23:55,802 --> 00:23:57,813
Uh, it will really
487
00:23:57,837 --> 00:24:00,671
make me feel better, son...
488
00:24:04,610 --> 00:24:05,743
Really.
35886
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