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1
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Now, if you'll step this way,
2
00:00:57,691 --> 00:01:00,392
you'll see Antwerp's
famous... Ah!
3
00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:08,945
You'll see Antwerp's
famous painting,
4
00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:11,415
called "Man with a Nose in Ear."
5
00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:12,815
One might say it reflects
6
00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:15,052
how the author sees a
man plagued with worries.
7
00:01:15,076 --> 00:01:16,653
I can see that, listen,
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00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:20,990
if I had my nose in my
ear, I'd be worried too.
9
00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:21,991
See, I could sneeze...
10
00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:23,060
No, I ain't kidding you...
11
00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:25,044
I could sneeze and
blow my head off.
12
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:29,466
Be quiet. I'd like to
absorb this lecture.
13
00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:31,901
How'd you like to absorb this?
14
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,303
Oh, don't you tell me, tell him.
15
00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:34,337
We've come here for art.
16
00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:37,307
I come here for
art... Over here.
17
00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:38,442
Over here is what's called,
18
00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:39,876
"Assemblage Art."
19
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:41,711
Now, does anybody
here have an idea
20
00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:43,280
what the author's trying to say?
21
00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:44,936
Yeah. Stay off the freeway.
22
00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:47,951
Ladies and gentlemen,
23
00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:49,686
that concludes
our tour for the day.
24
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,921
Thank you very much
and please come again.
25
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,056
You're free to browse.
26
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:54,857
Browse. I'm getting out of here.
27
00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:56,393
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
28
00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:57,994
Grab a hold of
me. I don't stay...
29
00:01:58,018 --> 00:01:59,596
Hey, that was a real
nice lecture, Sandra.
30
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:00,597
You really know your work.
31
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:01,831
Well, thank you, Lamont.
32
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:03,633
I'm glad you and your
father could make it.
33
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:05,235
Mr. Sanford, so nice
to meet you again.
34
00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:06,236
Thank you.
35
00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:09,973
Say, listen, how
much is this pile of art?
36
00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:10,997
$40,000.
37
00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:15,645
Mr. Sanford,
38
00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:18,081
art can't be measured in
terms of dollars and cents.
39
00:02:18,105 --> 00:02:19,583
You see, art is a legacy.
40
00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:21,651
Something left
behind by its creators.
41
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:24,187
Well, I got a legacy!
42
00:02:24,211 --> 00:02:25,188
What?
43
00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:27,790
My unpaid bills.
44
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:30,227
Mr. Sanford,
45
00:02:30,251 --> 00:02:32,496
the artist's whole
life is in this art.
46
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:35,432
Each piece here
represents a part of him.
47
00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:37,434
What you see before you is...
48
00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:40,303
well, what's... What's
inside the artist.
49
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:43,228
Well, maybe he needed a physic.
50
00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:05,695
Hello?
51
00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:07,830
Oh, hey, Rollo.
52
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,232
Yeah, I know I
sound terrible, man.
53
00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:10,667
I got the world's
worst headache.
54
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,937
Some fool has been outside
hammering and banging
55
00:03:14,961 --> 00:03:16,706
all night long.
56
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,744
No, man, I don't know who it is,
57
00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:23,146
and, look, I like
what those circulars
58
00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:24,481
that you had printed up said,
59
00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:27,484
you know, "Sanford and
Son's Clearance Sale,"
60
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,286
with the dates
printed on the bottom.
61
00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:30,654
Yeah, that was hip,
62
00:03:30,678 --> 00:03:32,855
and you sure that guy's
going to have them printed up
63
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,157
by tomorrow morning, right?
64
00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:37,260
Good. What?
65
00:03:37,284 --> 00:03:40,297
No, Rollo, I don't need
any original $10 bills
66
00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:43,355
with Marvin Gaye's
pictures on them.
67
00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:51,208
All right, I'll
talk to you later.
68
00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:52,742
All right.
69
00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:57,437
Hey!
70
00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:05,388
Pop... Huh?
71
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:06,989
Don't tell that that
was you out here
72
00:04:07,013 --> 00:04:08,458
hammering and
banging all last night?
73
00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:09,459
What?
74
00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:10,694
I said, don't tell me that
75
00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:11,994
that was you out here
76
00:04:12,018 --> 00:04:13,296
hammering and
banging all night long?
77
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,997
Speak right up, son.
78
00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:17,033
I can't hear, my ears are numb.
79
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:19,991
You see, I've been out here
hammering and banging all night.
80
00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:24,407
Hey, man, what are you doing?
81
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:25,742
What am I doing?
82
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:28,010
I'm building a legacy.
83
00:04:28,034 --> 00:04:29,112
A legacy, see.
84
00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:31,948
When people see this,
they'll remember me
85
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:34,906
and that will make me immoral...
86
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:38,588
That's immortal.
87
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,123
Have you forgotten, Pop?
88
00:04:40,147 --> 00:04:42,225
We borrowed $400
from the bank, man,
89
00:04:42,249 --> 00:04:43,826
and the sale is
only two days away,
90
00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:45,328
and if it's not 100% successful,
91
00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:47,330
we gonna be in
hock up to our ears.
92
00:04:47,354 --> 00:04:48,331
We'll be ready.
93
00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:49,499
Okay.
94
00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:52,068
I've gotta go make some
pickups with the truck.
95
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,271
Now, when I get back,
I'm gonna be gone all day...
96
00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:55,672
And when I get
back here tonight,
97
00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:57,106
I expect this thing
to be finished.
98
00:04:57,130 --> 00:05:01,511
Finished. Son, you cannot
put a time limit on creativity.
99
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:03,480
Did Mrs. Bell say,
"Hurry up, man,
100
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:07,484
and invent the telephone,
I've gotta call my mother?"
101
00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:08,851
And did Mrs. Edison say,
102
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:10,853
"Hurry up, man, will you
get that light bulb finished,
103
00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:13,445
because it's
getting dark in here."
104
00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:24,015
Hey, Pop, I'm home!
105
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:27,337
Oh, hey, Grady. How you doing?
106
00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:29,306
Hi, Lamont. I'm tired, man.
107
00:05:29,330 --> 00:05:30,507
I must've put over 200 miles
108
00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:31,641
on that truck today.
109
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,976
Stop, bargain, make
a deal, load the truck.
110
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,446
Stop, bargain, make
a deal, load the truck.
111
00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:37,647
Yeah, I know the feeling.
112
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,382
I'm tired too.
113
00:05:39,406 --> 00:05:43,586
I must've played over
200 games of solitaire.
114
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:47,624
Shuffle, make a
deal, cheat myself.
115
00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:50,760
Shuffle, deal, cheat.
116
00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:52,161
It's almost 6:00, man.
117
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,930
Where's my pop. I'm starving.
118
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:55,164
Who?
119
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,567
My father, Grady, Fred Sanford.
120
00:05:57,591 --> 00:06:00,169
Lamont, don't ever mention
my ex-best friend's name
121
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,871
in this house again.
122
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:03,840
What are you
talking about, Grady.
123
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,909
If a certain party who
shall remain nameless
124
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:08,878
wants to treat
his ex-best friend
125
00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:11,448
the way that this
nameless person is doing,
126
00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:13,115
then his ex-best friend
127
00:06:13,139 --> 00:06:16,886
shall refrain from naming
this nameless person's name
128
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,711
ever again.
129
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:27,864
What are you
talking about, Grady?
130
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,633
Lamont, your father
can take his art
131
00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:34,704
and shove it up his nose.
132
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,506
Grady, what are
you trying to say?
133
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:40,176
Who needs Nameless?
I don't need Nameless.
134
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,379
I'm Swinging Grady.
135
00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:49,118
Gregarious Grady,
Groovy Graceful Grady.
136
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:50,152
Will you please tell me
137
00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:52,088
what you're trying to say?
138
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:56,860
Lamont... I'm lonely.
139
00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:58,561
I'm so lonely.
140
00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:01,030
Your father, he
won't talk to me.
141
00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:02,832
He says he's all
wrapped up in his art!
142
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,434
You mean to tell
me he hasn't finished
143
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:05,435
that monstrosity yet?
144
00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:06,969
No.
145
00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:09,372
All right, well, I'm gonna
put a stop to this right now.
146
00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:10,573
This sale is two days away,
147
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:13,376
and he's out here
fooling around.
148
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,199
I tell you, I...
149
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:21,618
What is it?
150
00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:22,952
Damn if I know,
151
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:24,454
but all the dogs in
the neighborhood
152
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:26,923
is just tickled to death.
153
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,867
Hey, Pop, would
you come down here?
154
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:42,727
Ah... comme t'allez vous?
155
00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:47,510
I thought I told you when
I left here this morning
156
00:07:47,534 --> 00:07:49,679
that I wanted you to
get this thing outta here.
157
00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:51,247
Listen, I'm going
to try and forget
158
00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:52,982
that you called this a thing.
159
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,484
And I'm going to try and forget
160
00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:55,985
that you look like
the fruit section
161
00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:57,987
out at the supermarket.
162
00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:00,389
That's all right. Go on
and insult me. See if I care.
163
00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:01,791
Great artists all
down through the ages
164
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,159
have always been insulted.
165
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:05,995
So if you want to call it a
thing, go and call it a thing.
166
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:07,299
It's a thing.
167
00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:10,867
I... If you want to
call it junk, call it junk.
168
00:08:10,891 --> 00:08:12,669
It's junk.
169
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:14,737
If you want to call
it ugly, call it ugly.
170
00:08:14,761 --> 00:08:16,041
It's ugly!
171
00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:20,343
If you want to call the
hospital and get a room ready,
172
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,244
now's your time,
173
00:08:22,268 --> 00:08:23,646
because I'm tired
of talking to you...
174
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:26,538
See you, Lamont, and
goodbye, Nameless.
175
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,191
Well, son, I'll get
on back to work.
176
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:36,593
Hey, wait a minute,
wait a minute,
177
00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:37,861
wait a minute, wait a minute.
178
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,462
Now, we've got over
$200 worth of inventory
179
00:08:39,486 --> 00:08:40,897
out there in the truck, Pop,
180
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:43,065
and I can't even bring it
in here, because of this...
181
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:44,066
Tower. Tower?
182
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:45,535
That's right.
183
00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:47,904
They got the Watts
Tower, the Eiffel Tower,
184
00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:51,875
and now, the Fred G.
Sanford Memorial Tower,
185
00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:55,077
and private park,
and historic landmark,
186
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:57,981
and forest.
187
00:08:58,005 --> 00:09:00,416
You're really serious
about this, aren't you?
188
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:01,450
That's right.
189
00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:03,185
Well, I'm going to
level with you, Pop.
190
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:05,788
In my opinion, you've
created a shapeless,
191
00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:08,212
formless, meaningless
piece of nothing.
192
00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:11,983
Son, don't be so
hard on yourself.
193
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:21,871
I'm expressing my true
feelings about your tower.
194
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,940
And I'm expressing
my true feelings.
195
00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:25,241
I know that, Pop, but...
196
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,610
Look, son, this is
more than an tower.
197
00:09:27,634 --> 00:09:29,078
This is part of my life.
198
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:31,280
Everything here means
something in my life.
199
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:32,281
Look at it.
200
00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:33,282
I mean, just look around,
201
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:34,283
pick out something,
202
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:36,318
it has something
to do with my life.
203
00:09:36,342 --> 00:09:37,386
All right, a water pistol
204
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,821
with a flower
sticking out of it...
205
00:09:38,845 --> 00:09:40,122
What is that?
206
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:41,424
That means something in my life.
207
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:44,594
That reminds me of the
first job I had in Los Angeles.
208
00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:47,229
A water pistol with a
flower sticking out of it?
209
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:48,665
Well, you were too
young to remember
210
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:53,036
when I was a night watchman
at the Carnation Milk Company.
211
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:55,271
Look, Pop, I realize
that you're serious
212
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:57,173
about this project, man,
213
00:09:57,197 --> 00:09:59,075
but you're gonna
have to tear it down.
214
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,944
The clearance sale
is only two days away.
215
00:10:00,968 --> 00:10:02,812
Tear this down?
216
00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:06,382
I'd rather spend three nights
and two days in Las Vegas
217
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:10,720
with your Aunt Esther...
in a cheap room...
218
00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:14,290
with the door locked...
from the outside.
219
00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:15,792
Look, I realize you're
serious about it,
220
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:16,993
but this is, uh,
221
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:19,428
this is a ugly mess that
you've made, here, man.
222
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,497
You don't know nothing
about judging art.
223
00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:22,932
You were the only
one in kindergarten
224
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:26,402
that flunked clay.
225
00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:28,037
All right, I'm gonna
tell what I'm gonna do.
226
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:29,105
I'm gonna call the museum,
227
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,907
and I'm gonna ask
Sandra to fall by here,
228
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:33,109
and we'll let her decide
if this is art or not.
229
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,310
Is that fair enough?
230
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:35,979
That's fair enough. That's fair.
231
00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:37,981
Now, listen here, now,
you get out of my way,
232
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:39,181
because you're
standing in the light.
233
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:42,184
What light? It's 7:00 at night.
234
00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:43,185
Sure it is.
235
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:44,220
Well, get out the way,
236
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:46,377
you standing in my dark.
237
00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:59,357
Beautiful... beautiful.
238
00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:07,365
Stay, art. Stay, art.
239
00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:16,285
Thanks for coming over. Sandra.
240
00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:17,553
I really appreciate it.
241
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:19,155
Hey, you're welcome,
Lamont, but I can't stay
242
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,957
but a few minutes,
because I have another tour.
243
00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:21,958
Okay.
244
00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:22,959
Hey, Pop, Sandra's here!
245
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:24,160
Hi, honey.
246
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,261
Hi, Mr. Sanford.
247
00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:26,295
Where is it?
248
00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:27,964
Where is it?
249
00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:29,065
Here it is.
250
00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:32,301
My art, my
masterpiece, my legacy.
251
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:33,435
You love it, don't you?
252
00:11:33,459 --> 00:11:35,237
Uh, Pop, I think it
would be only fair
253
00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:37,640
for you to go in the house
and let Sandra judged this,
254
00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:38,641
you know, without being around.
255
00:11:38,665 --> 00:11:39,776
This is it?
256
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,377
That's it. That's it,
257
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:42,779
and you're right, son.
258
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:45,514
What's fair is fair,
and I wanna be fair,
259
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,850
and you're gonna be fair,
because you love it, don't you?
260
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:48,951
I know you love it.
261
00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:51,375
She gotta be a
fool not to love it.
262
00:11:52,913 --> 00:11:54,190
Well?
263
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,825
You want the truth?
264
00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:56,849
The truth.
265
00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:02,364
Lamont, it's incredible.
266
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:07,369
It's shocking.
It's... It's worthless.
267
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:08,537
I mean, there's no unity.
268
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:09,538
There's no theme.
269
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:10,873
It's just a
conglomeration of items
270
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,942
without any social significance.
271
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:14,210
Yeah, I kinda figured that too.
272
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,611
Look, I wouldn't even
have bothered you
273
00:12:15,635 --> 00:12:17,613
to come over here, except
for, see, I'm desperate, man.
274
00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:19,615
If my father doesn't
get this out of the way,
275
00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:21,084
I'm gonna have
to... call the sale off.
276
00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:23,853
I understand, and I'm
sorry, but I've got to go.
277
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:25,654
All right, I'll tell my
father what you said,
278
00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:27,289
and, hey, thanks a
lot for coming over.
279
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:28,691
You're welcome. I'll
see you Friday night.
280
00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:30,193
You sure will.
281
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:35,220
Hey, Pop... Pop...
Yeah, coming, son.
282
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,267
Look here, son.
283
00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:39,568
I got this book over here.
284
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:40,970
Yeah, I got it from the library.
285
00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:42,105
Yeah, see, but...
286
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:43,305
And it's all about famous people
287
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:44,573
who left legacies.
288
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:45,975
I mean, it's called Who's Who.
289
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,176
Yeah, right, I know that, but...
290
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,346
And your father,
Fred G. Sanford,
291
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:51,347
is going right here,
292
00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:52,681
with the gynecologists,
293
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:56,052
and the biologists, and
all them dermatologists.
294
00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:58,320
See, right here
in the capital J's
295
00:12:58,344 --> 00:13:00,311
for Junkologists.
296
00:13:01,782 --> 00:13:03,559
Yeah, look, see, I've
got something to tell you...
297
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:05,027
You know, son,
298
00:13:05,051 --> 00:13:06,662
I just don't remember
when I've been this happy.
299
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:08,064
Oh yeah?
300
00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:11,367
Yeah, see, working on my art
has given my life a new meaning,
301
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:13,202
you know, something
to look forward to.
302
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:16,072
You know, because when
I leave this work of art,
303
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:18,374
I'll leave something that
people will remember,
304
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:21,277
and when I go, and
have that big one,
305
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,779
that real big one,
306
00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:27,683
and head for that
large easel in the sky,
307
00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:29,451
I'll leave part of my life here,
308
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,087
something people will
know and remember.
309
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:34,323
Yeah, Pop, but, see,
I... You know, son,
310
00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:40,930
I feel 10... No, 15...
No, 20 years younger.
311
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,420
You want to play some stickball?
312
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:46,502
Uh, Pop, see, Sandra said...
313
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:48,237
Oh yeah, Sandra. Sandra.
314
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:50,173
Hey, hey, she
loved it, didn't she?
315
00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:53,375
Well... She was impressed.
316
00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:56,679
She said it was
shocking and incredible.
317
00:13:56,703 --> 00:13:58,547
Shocking and incredible.
318
00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:00,983
Son, I could cry.
319
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:05,143
Get me some of those
Handy Wipes, will you?
320
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:08,490
What else did she say?
321
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:09,525
Well, she mentioned things
322
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:10,827
like unity and theme
323
00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:12,228
and social significance.
324
00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:14,363
Social significance!
325
00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:17,166
Now I know I'm gonna cry, son.
326
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:20,691
Social significance...
327
00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:23,840
Yeah, I think I'm gonna cry too.
328
00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:25,074
He's going in the Who's Who,
329
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:27,531
and I'm going into Who's Broke.
330
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:34,783
Fred Sanford... you a heathen!
331
00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:36,719
The first time you
been on your knees
332
00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:38,687
in the history of
your miserable life,
333
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:43,259
and you kneel to a pagan idol!
334
00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:45,228
Listen, Esther, this
ain't no pagan idol,
335
00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:46,762
it's a legacy.
336
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:48,430
That's what it is, a legacy,
337
00:14:48,454 --> 00:14:50,266
and I wasn't kneeling
down praying,
338
00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:51,290
I was working.
339
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,770
Work?
340
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:56,761
Don't make me laugh.
341
00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:00,343
Let me tell you
something, Esther,
342
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:02,345
every time I see you,
you make me wish
343
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:05,403
that birth control
was retroactive.
344
00:15:16,816 --> 00:15:19,595
What you come here
for to bug me, anyway?
345
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:23,966
I didn't even want to
see your old weasel face.
346
00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:25,523
I came to see Lamont.
347
00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:30,472
What's this ugly mess?
348
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:31,473
Ugly mess?
349
00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:32,641
Ugly mess.
350
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:35,411
What's the name
of this ugly mess?
351
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:37,368
I call it..."Esther."
352
00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:48,490
Watch it, sucker.
353
00:15:48,514 --> 00:15:49,525
Listen, Esther,
354
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:50,927
I don't want to make you mad,
355
00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:54,163
because when you get
mad, your bottom lip looks like
356
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:57,956
you wearing a brown
turtleneck sweater.
357
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,571
Now, let me tell
you this, Esther,
358
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:03,772
now, you can look at this,
359
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:04,974
and you can look at that,
360
00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:06,375
but if you look at my tower,
361
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:09,412
you're going to put
50 cents in the hat.
362
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:11,414
You ain't getting no money
outta me, Fred Sanford!
363
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:12,415
Oh no?
364
00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:13,416
Oh, no!
365
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:14,417
Yes, I will.
366
00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:15,418
Oh, no, you won't!
367
00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:16,552
Throw your hands up.
368
00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:17,553
Throw them up. That's it.
369
00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:18,687
Throw your hands up.
370
00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:21,890
I'll show you. I'll
get my money.
371
00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:24,026
Hey, would you stop it.
372
00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:25,027
I'll give you some more...
373
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:26,062
What are you doing, Pop?
374
00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:27,463
Go ahead and beg me for it.
375
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,465
I'll knock you out.
376
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:30,532
Would you stop it.
377
00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:32,134
I can't leave you
alone for two minutes
378
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:33,169
without you starting trouble.
379
00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:35,071
I'll uppercut her to death.
380
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,505
Lamont!
381
00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:38,407
This old heathen
wants me to pay him
382
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:39,675
for coming in here!
383
00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:41,739
You ought to tip me
just to look at you!
384
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:45,681
Now, that's enough.
385
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:47,249
That's enough, now.
386
00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:50,019
Lamont, will you drive me over
to Pastor Stackhouse's church?
387
00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:52,221
I'd love to, Aunt Esther,
but I don't have the truck.
388
00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:53,422
Dummy, you mean to tell me
389
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:54,823
you loaned the truck
to somebody else?
390
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,625
No, I didn't loan the
truck to somebody else.
391
00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:58,627
I had to park it on
the street last night,
392
00:16:58,651 --> 00:16:59,928
and it got towed away.
393
00:16:59,952 --> 00:17:01,730
Well, why you let the
truck get towed away?
394
00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:03,732
Because there was no
place to park it in here.
395
00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:06,135
Now, do you have $25
so I can go get the truck?
396
00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:07,825
Do mice bark?
397
00:17:13,299 --> 00:17:15,677
I have some money at
the house I can loan you.
398
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,079
Thanks a lot, Aunt Esther.
399
00:17:17,103 --> 00:17:20,782
I was saving it to buy
me a new spring outfit.
400
00:17:20,806 --> 00:17:22,151
Esther, don't get
no spring outfit,
401
00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:25,087
just get a mattress and
cover your face with it.
402
00:17:25,111 --> 00:17:26,088
Oh, man, just stop it.
403
00:17:26,112 --> 00:17:27,123
Come on, Aunt Esther.
404
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,157
Oh, he makes me sick.
405
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:29,158
No, that's all right.
406
00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:30,192
Aunt Esther, no.
407
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:31,849
No, Aunt Esther...
408
00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:34,463
Knock on the door.
409
00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:39,090
Smitty... Hoppy...
410
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:43,539
Smitty!
411
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,341
Hey, Fred,
412
00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:46,942
we heard you're having
that big sale tomorrow,
413
00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:48,344
and we thought
we'd come by early
414
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:49,745
and see if you had any bargains!
415
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:50,746
Yeah.
416
00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:52,348
Yeah, we thought
417
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:54,150
we'd kind of get
the pick of the litter.
418
00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:55,617
You get it? Junk? Litter?
419
00:17:55,641 --> 00:17:57,186
Now, that's funny, isn't it?
420
00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:58,287
You have to admit.
421
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:04,393
Well... Well, maybe it isn't.
422
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,529
What's on your mind?
423
00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:09,365
Say... what is that?
424
00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:12,634
Well, some people
might say it's junk,
425
00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:14,870
and some might say it's art,
426
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,738
some might say it's a legacy.
427
00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:20,076
Well, put me down for the
one that might say it's junk.
428
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:22,278
Listen, what can I
do for you fellows?
429
00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:23,745
Well, Mr. Sanford,
430
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:25,181
I've recently been chosen
431
00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:26,715
Mr. Swinging Single
432
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:28,617
down at the Traffic Division...
433
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:29,952
You've been chosen
Mr. Swinging Single?
434
00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:32,754
Well, it was close between
me and Sgt. Kaminsky,
435
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,557
but then, you know,
he had to step down,
436
00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:36,392
because he moved
in with his mom,
437
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:38,727
and anyway, I was looking
for a few knick knacks,
438
00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:40,662
you know, a few
objects de chit chat,
439
00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:42,731
to decorate my new apartment,
440
00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:44,200
and price is no object.
441
00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:46,202
Oh, well, maybe you'd
like to pick a few things
442
00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:47,269
from over here in this stack.
443
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:48,504
I've got some nice stuff here.
444
00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:49,505
Say, that's interesting,
445
00:18:49,529 --> 00:18:50,672
that old brass boiler.
446
00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:52,975
No, no, I said pick some
stuff from over here,
447
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:54,443
not from over there.
448
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:55,811
Hey, that boiler is great.
449
00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:57,313
I could make
planter out of that.
450
00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:58,514
You know, Mr. Sanford,
451
00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,015
that would be just
the perfect thing
452
00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:03,219
to artistically set off my
connect-the-dots painting
453
00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:05,821
of Police Chief Davis.
454
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:07,055
Okay?
455
00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:08,624
Now, I'll give you
25 bucks for it.
456
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:09,658
No.
457
00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:10,659
Thirty-five.
458
00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:11,660
Not for sale.
459
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:12,661
I'll go 45.
460
00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:13,662
Absolutely not.
461
00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:14,663
I've gotta have that boiler.
462
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:15,864
Uh, 50 bucks. I'll go 50...
463
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:18,534
Sold to the man in
the blue uniform for 5-0.
464
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:20,002
N-O. It's not for sale.
465
00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:22,037
We only bought
this stuff for the sale!
466
00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:23,339
Son, this is not stuff.
467
00:19:23,363 --> 00:19:26,442
This is... a labor of love.
468
00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:28,277
Oh, don't give that
labor of love stuff,
469
00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:30,279
I got... Hey, wait
a minute, Lamont.
470
00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:31,480
The sale is two days away!
471
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:32,714
Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!
472
00:19:32,738 --> 00:19:34,350
You don't scream
at me I'm your father!
473
00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:35,951
Fred, Lamont, look,
why don't we come back
474
00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:37,486
when you get this
all settled, man.
475
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:38,754
Yeah, you get together
476
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:40,156
and, you know,
knock to each other...
477
00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:42,424
No, no, hold it, that's
rap to each other.
478
00:19:42,448 --> 00:19:44,793
Oh, yeah, rap to each other.
479
00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:46,128
Just be honest, you know,
480
00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:47,396
let it all hang off.
481
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:48,464
Hang out!
482
00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:49,465
Hang out. Hang out.
483
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:50,466
Yeah, and, uh, so long?
484
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:51,467
Is "so long" right?
485
00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:52,468
Just get in the car!
486
00:19:52,492 --> 00:19:53,824
Get in the car!
487
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:04,079
Hey, look... Look at it, son.
488
00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:05,281
So stately.
489
00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:07,283
So majestic.
490
00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:10,085
Get off of there,
pigeon! Get off of there!
491
00:20:10,109 --> 00:20:11,487
All of you, shoo!
492
00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:12,921
Wait a minute,
wait a minute, Pop.
493
00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:14,190
Now, this tower of yours
494
00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,558
is costing us a fortune, man...
495
00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:18,627
All right, I'll be
right back, now.
496
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:21,797
Okay, son, I'll be up here.
497
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:23,521
Get away.
498
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:28,970
Oh. Hello, Mr. Sanford.
499
00:20:28,994 --> 00:20:30,706
Oh, hi, honey.
500
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,941
I was in the neighborhood,
so I thought I'd drop by.
501
00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:33,975
Is Lamont home?
502
00:20:33,999 --> 00:20:36,111
Yeah, he's inside.
503
00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:39,370
Say, listen... what
do you think of it now?
504
00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:43,018
Well, frankly, Mr. Sanford,
505
00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:44,453
my opinion hasn't
changed very much.
506
00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:45,754
Really?
507
00:20:45,778 --> 00:20:47,723
Really. I thought you'd
taken it down by now.
508
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:48,857
Taken it down?
509
00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:51,793
Why should I take
down something shocking
510
00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:52,961
and incredible,
511
00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:56,265
and a piece of socially
significant theme art?
512
00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:57,866
What?
513
00:20:57,890 --> 00:20:59,635
Well, that's what
Lamont said that you said,
514
00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:01,103
and, because you said that,
515
00:21:01,127 --> 00:21:03,339
that's why I'm not going to
charge you regular admission,
516
00:21:03,363 --> 00:21:04,707
This one's on me.
517
00:21:04,731 --> 00:21:07,042
Mr. Sanford, I'm afraid
there's been some mistake.
518
00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:09,311
Yes, it is, because it
turned out a lot better
519
00:21:09,335 --> 00:21:10,713
than you thought
it was, didn't it?
520
00:21:10,737 --> 00:21:11,714
Now, listen,
521
00:21:11,738 --> 00:21:13,849
tell me everything
that you told Lamont,
522
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:16,418
word for word.
523
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,153
Well, Mr. Sanford,
524
00:21:18,177 --> 00:21:20,617
I believe you better sit down.
525
00:21:21,648 --> 00:21:25,093
I know I owe you, Rollo.
526
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,763
I don't know when I'm going
to have the money, man.
527
00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:30,733
I owe the bank, I owe
you, I owe Aunt Esther.
528
00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:33,269
I don't print the
money, you know.
529
00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:34,570
I know you do.
530
00:21:40,232 --> 00:21:42,745
Hey...
531
00:21:42,769 --> 00:21:45,147
Hey, Rollo, I'm going to
have to call you back, all right?
532
00:21:45,171 --> 00:21:46,171
Okay.
533
00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:49,921
Hey, Pop?
534
00:21:51,744 --> 00:21:53,422
Yeah.
535
00:21:53,446 --> 00:21:54,490
Wh... what happened, man?
536
00:21:54,514 --> 00:21:55,524
What'd you do?
537
00:21:55,548 --> 00:21:56,825
I tore it down,
538
00:21:56,849 --> 00:21:59,395
because Sandra was by
here and told me everything.
539
00:21:59,419 --> 00:22:01,330
Hey, I'm sorry, man.
540
00:22:01,354 --> 00:22:02,364
Yeah, I'm sorry too, son.
541
00:22:02,388 --> 00:22:03,365
No, I'm really sorry.
542
00:22:03,389 --> 00:22:04,767
I mean, about
your legacy and all.
543
00:22:04,791 --> 00:22:05,934
Oh, that ain't nothing.
544
00:22:05,958 --> 00:22:07,403
Listen, son, after
talking with Sandra,
545
00:22:07,427 --> 00:22:09,538
I realized that I
already got a legacy,
546
00:22:09,562 --> 00:22:10,539
the best in the world.
547
00:22:10,563 --> 00:22:11,540
You.
548
00:22:11,564 --> 00:22:13,141
Me?
549
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,543
Yeah.
550
00:22:14,567 --> 00:22:16,878
I got a son that
loves me so much
551
00:22:16,902 --> 00:22:18,914
he's even afraid of
hurting my feelings
552
00:22:18,938 --> 00:22:22,818
by telling me my art is junk.
553
00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:26,488
Hey, man... You can call Hoppy
554
00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:28,624
and tell him to come over
and get that brass boiler
555
00:22:28,648 --> 00:22:30,759
if he want it, and
tell him your father...
556
00:22:30,783 --> 00:22:32,093
has been a fool.
557
00:22:32,117 --> 00:22:33,462
Hey, you're not a fool.
558
00:22:33,486 --> 00:22:34,930
You're my Pop. I love you, man.
559
00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:36,565
You're a groovy old dude.
560
00:22:36,589 --> 00:22:38,500
Yeah, but from now on,
561
00:22:38,524 --> 00:22:40,336
I'll leave all the
artwork to you.
562
00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:41,903
You know what?
563
00:22:41,927 --> 00:22:43,639
I just might do
something artistic.
564
00:22:43,663 --> 00:22:44,973
As a matter of fact,
565
00:22:44,997 --> 00:22:48,243
I might paint a portrait if
you would pose for me?
566
00:22:48,267 --> 00:22:49,845
You want me to pose for you?
567
00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:50,846
Would you?
568
00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:51,847
Sure.
569
00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:52,914
I'll pose for you,
570
00:22:52,938 --> 00:22:54,383
if we can pose right out here
571
00:22:54,407 --> 00:22:55,818
in front of my tower.
572
00:22:55,842 --> 00:22:57,118
Sure.
573
00:22:57,142 --> 00:22:58,520
Well, help me get
it back together.
574
00:22:58,544 --> 00:22:59,910
Here, give me a hand.
575
00:23:18,865 --> 00:23:19,842
Hiya, Pop.
576
00:23:19,866 --> 00:23:21,076
Hi, son.
577
00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:22,944
Hey, man, that sale
turned out great, didn't it?
578
00:23:22,968 --> 00:23:25,146
We made enough money
to pay the bank off and plus,
579
00:23:25,170 --> 00:23:26,715
we made $300. How about that?
580
00:23:26,739 --> 00:23:27,716
Hey, what's this?
581
00:23:27,740 --> 00:23:28,917
Oh, it's just a little present
582
00:23:28,941 --> 00:23:31,119
I bought you to show
you how much I love you.
583
00:23:31,143 --> 00:23:32,721
For me? Uh-huh. Go ahead,
584
00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:34,956
take the cover off of it.
585
00:23:34,980 --> 00:23:37,993
Oh, wow, Pop,
that's beautiful, man.
586
00:23:38,017 --> 00:23:40,028
How can I thank you?
587
00:23:40,052 --> 00:23:42,230
You can thank me by starting
painting my portrait right now.
588
00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:43,532
All right, I'll tell you what...
589
00:23:43,556 --> 00:23:45,333
You go out in the
yard and get ready,
590
00:23:45,357 --> 00:23:47,603
and I'll bring the painting
and easel out there,
591
00:23:47,627 --> 00:23:48,804
and I'll paint you, all right?
592
00:23:48,828 --> 00:23:50,205
Okay, I'll be ready in a minute.
593
00:23:50,229 --> 00:23:51,440
Now, come on out. All right.
594
00:23:51,464 --> 00:23:52,744
I'll be right out here in front.
41428
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