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1
00:00:02,140 --> 00:00:04,490
- So, I just got off the phone
with Warner Bros.,
2
00:00:04,590 --> 00:00:06,560
and, unfortunately,
3
00:00:06,661 --> 00:00:07,941
they are gonna pull
the plug on "Get Harder."
4
00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:09,352
- Are you kidding
me right now?
5
00:00:09,457 --> 00:00:11,867
- Look, it doesn't matter
because, unlike my legal fees,
6
00:00:11,977 --> 00:00:14,637
you are still
gonna get paid, hm?
7
00:00:14,738 --> 00:00:16,018
- Are you kidding me?
- Yeah.
8
00:00:16,119 --> 00:00:18,089
- That's why I almost
pay you the big bucks.
9
00:00:18,190 --> 00:00:20,120
- You have a lot of
time on your hands now.
10
00:00:20,227 --> 00:00:22,467
You're looking at three
months of free time.
11
00:00:22,574 --> 00:00:24,164
What are you gonna do?
- Man, I don't know.
12
00:00:24,265 --> 00:00:25,985
- I'm thinking you should
probably relax, rejuvenate,
13
00:00:26,095 --> 00:00:28,055
maybe read a book, hm?
- I'm not doin' that.
14
00:00:28,166 --> 00:00:31,026
Reading's for dummies.
Nobody does that.
15
00:00:31,134 --> 00:00:32,244
I'ma go back to school.
16
00:00:32,342 --> 00:00:33,482
I told my mom, I said
when I had some free time
17
00:00:33,585 --> 00:00:34,925
on my hands, that
I would go ahead back
18
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,995
and I would finish up,
so, that's what I'ma do.
19
00:00:37,106 --> 00:00:38,516
- It's just I coulda
swore that you told me
20
00:00:38,624 --> 00:00:39,874
that you'd finished college.
21
00:00:39,970 --> 00:00:42,280
- I'm not talking
about college, Trina.
22
00:00:42,387 --> 00:00:43,767
I'm talking about high school.
23
00:00:43,871 --> 00:00:45,601
- Aha!
- What the hell?
24
00:00:45,700 --> 00:00:47,630
- You owe me a hundred
dollars, Trina.
25
00:00:47,737 --> 00:00:52,157
I told you there was no way
Kevin got into college.
26
00:00:52,259 --> 00:00:53,469
- Wayne Brady.
27
00:00:53,570 --> 00:00:55,640
You know, Wayne,
why don't you do me a favor
28
00:00:55,745 --> 00:00:57,915
and explain to me why
people call you a "star."
29
00:00:58,023 --> 00:00:59,613
- Because I graduated
from high school.
30
00:00:59,714 --> 00:01:01,724
[laughs]
Spell GED, Kevin.
31
00:01:01,820 --> 00:01:03,270
- What, right now?
- Now.
32
00:01:03,373 --> 00:01:04,443
- Uh...
[clears throat]
33
00:01:04,547 --> 00:01:06,167
All right, uh, "J"...
- WAYNE: Hm.
34
00:01:06,273 --> 00:01:09,033
- Uh...use it in a sentence.
Give me one sentence.
35
00:01:09,138 --> 00:01:11,758
- Kevin, hurry your ass
up and spell GED.
36
00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:13,834
- "J"..."J"..."A"...
- TRINA: Oh.
37
00:01:13,935 --> 00:01:15,935
- KEVIN: "J-A-I."
- WAYNE: Hm.
38
00:01:16,041 --> 00:01:17,911
- [bleep]. I don't need...
I'm not doin' this.
39
00:01:18,008 --> 00:01:19,908
Forget you, man.
Forget both--
40
00:01:20,010 --> 00:01:22,190
I'm not...whatever, Wayne.
[slams door]
41
00:01:22,289 --> 00:01:24,009
- WAYNE: [laughing]
- Why?
42
00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:25,458
Why do you have to
pick on him like that?
43
00:01:25,568 --> 00:01:27,498
- Because he's so pickable--
like a booger.
44
00:01:27,604 --> 00:01:28,924
- BOTH:
[laughing]
45
00:01:29,019 --> 00:01:30,779
- Oh, gross.
- So, what's this, uh...
46
00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:33,823
important news?
- Oh, it's not important.
47
00:01:33,921 --> 00:01:35,541
It's, you know,
I'm having a day.
48
00:01:35,647 --> 00:01:37,237
The lease is up on the Mercedes.
- Okay.
49
00:01:37,338 --> 00:01:39,198
- I can't decide what
to do with my hair next,
50
00:01:39,306 --> 00:01:41,336
and, Kevin, you know,
fill in the blanks.
51
00:01:41,446 --> 00:01:43,276
- Mmm.
- And I wanna have a baby.
52
00:01:43,379 --> 00:01:45,169
- [dramatic music]
53
00:01:45,277 --> 00:01:46,927
- [sighs]
Us?
54
00:01:47,037 --> 00:01:48,687
- ♪ This is the life,
this is the life ♪
55
00:01:48,798 --> 00:01:50,628
♪ We got the life,
we got the life ♪
56
00:01:50,731 --> 00:01:52,601
♪ This is the city
where we party every night ♪
57
00:01:52,698 --> 00:01:54,528
♪ Party every night
58
00:01:54,631 --> 00:01:58,011
♪ Just you and me,
down and to go ♪
59
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,188
♪ Welcome to Hollywood,
welcome to Hollywood ♪
60
00:02:00,292 --> 00:02:02,292
♪ Welcome to Hollywood ♪
61
00:02:03,675 --> 00:02:06,605
- Oh, wow. Baby, baby, um...
- Mm-hm?
62
00:02:06,712 --> 00:02:09,682
- Look, uh...you know...
63
00:02:09,784 --> 00:02:12,864
that I don't want
another baby right now.
64
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:15,170
- Oh, you--
- Oh, no.
65
00:02:15,273 --> 00:02:16,313
No, I'm sorry.
66
00:02:16,412 --> 00:02:18,032
- No, you don't have
to be sorry.
67
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,658
No, no. I'm sorry,
there was a little confusion.
68
00:02:20,761 --> 00:02:22,281
Probably a miscommunication over it.
69
00:02:22,383 --> 00:02:24,943
The, uh, the thing is that
I am gonna have a baby...
70
00:02:25,041 --> 00:02:26,591
- Mmmmm...
71
00:02:26,698 --> 00:02:28,488
- But not with you.
72
00:02:28,596 --> 00:02:31,736
- Uh...
73
00:02:31,841 --> 00:02:34,461
Well, who...?
[laughing]
74
00:02:34,568 --> 00:02:36,228
It better not be with
that little ignorant
75
00:02:36,328 --> 00:02:39,158
booger-picker.
- Oh? Kevin?
76
00:02:39,262 --> 00:02:40,472
- Yeah.
- No!
77
00:02:40,574 --> 00:02:42,164
- No?
- No, no, no!
78
00:02:42,265 --> 00:02:44,715
I would rip my tubes out first.
- I'd help.
79
00:02:44,819 --> 00:02:46,609
- Okay, yeah.
- WAYNE: [laughs]
80
00:02:46,718 --> 00:02:50,408
- No. No. I'm gonna get
artificial insemination.
81
00:02:50,515 --> 00:02:52,305
- Oh!
82
00:02:52,413 --> 00:02:54,213
- Are you okay?
83
00:02:56,486 --> 00:02:58,896
- KEVIN: Today I returned
to Morning Star High School
84
00:02:59,006 --> 00:03:00,556
to finally get my diploma.
85
00:03:00,663 --> 00:03:02,083
You see, during
my senior year,
86
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:05,252
I accidentally killed the school
mascot and I got expelled.
87
00:03:05,357 --> 00:03:08,287
That's right, I became the most
hated man in school history.
88
00:03:08,395 --> 00:03:09,425
But it wasn't my fault.
89
00:03:09,534 --> 00:03:10,984
I mean, nobody told
that albino goat
90
00:03:11,087 --> 00:03:12,707
to eat that grass in
front of that cannon.
91
00:03:12,813 --> 00:03:15,263
Blew that goat's head
clean off, sure did.
92
00:03:15,367 --> 00:03:17,227
But it turns out, it made
for some good eatin',
93
00:03:17,335 --> 00:03:18,645
I'll tell ya that.
94
00:03:18,750 --> 00:03:20,990
Yeah, grandma straight
Steph Curried that goat.
95
00:03:21,097 --> 00:03:22,747
[laughing]
We at the shit out that goat.
96
00:03:22,857 --> 00:03:25,407
Anyway, the school lost
every game since then.
97
00:03:25,515 --> 00:03:26,715
But that was 20 years ago.
98
00:03:26,827 --> 00:03:28,347
But now I'm a big star
and I can't wait to
99
00:03:28,449 --> 00:03:30,279
feel the love from
my almost mater.
100
00:03:30,382 --> 00:03:32,282
- WOMAN: Goat killer!
- MAN: Kevin Hart, right?
101
00:03:32,384 --> 00:03:33,324
- KEVIN: Hey, hey...oh!
102
00:03:33,420 --> 00:03:36,110
Hey, listen now, I had--
103
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,666
Uh-oh!
Coleman!
104
00:03:38,770 --> 00:03:40,600
Coleman, move!
105
00:03:40,703 --> 00:03:42,503
- STUDENTS:
[shouting mixed comments]
106
00:03:42,601 --> 00:03:44,781
- I don't think they
care for you, sir.
107
00:03:44,879 --> 00:03:46,669
- KEVIN:
Shut up.
108
00:03:46,778 --> 00:03:48,468
I don't give a damn
if they care for me.
109
00:03:48,573 --> 00:03:49,953
Let's go over the schedule.
- Yes.
110
00:03:50,057 --> 00:03:53,367
Oh, they gave you a very, very
difficult schedule, sir.
111
00:03:53,474 --> 00:03:54,964
Let me see. Oh...
112
00:03:55,062 --> 00:03:58,822
We have got geometry,
we've got biology,
113
00:03:58,928 --> 00:04:00,338
chemistry--
- Stop, stop, stop.
114
00:04:00,447 --> 00:04:01,787
You're makin' my head hurt.
115
00:04:01,896 --> 00:04:04,826
We're not here to learn,
we're here to graduate, Coleman.
116
00:04:04,934 --> 00:04:06,974
- Don't you want
a good education, sir?
117
00:04:07,074 --> 00:04:08,184
- You got a good education,
didn't you?
118
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:09,732
- I had an excellent
education, sir.
119
00:04:09,835 --> 00:04:11,795
I studied at Oxford.
120
00:04:11,906 --> 00:04:13,836
- Well, listen, unless
they had a class there
121
00:04:13,943 --> 00:04:16,463
called "Carry a Little
[bleep]'s Bags 101,"
122
00:04:16,566 --> 00:04:18,566
I suggest you ask
for your money back.
123
00:04:18,672 --> 00:04:19,912
Now shut your ass up.
124
00:04:20,018 --> 00:04:21,918
Let's go buy some grades.
125
00:04:22,020 --> 00:04:26,270
I ace an "A", Mr. Siraki,
here's your stacky.
126
00:04:26,369 --> 00:04:30,369
Don't you go spendin'
all that at the strip club.
127
00:04:30,477 --> 00:04:32,617
Thank you, man.
128
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:35,210
Okay, look,
that's five down.
129
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:38,239
We need one more to
graduate, okay? Let's go.
130
00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:44,943
Oh, listen, man,
Keysha Turner.
131
00:04:45,043 --> 00:04:46,183
You see, back in the day,
132
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:47,796
Keysha used to have
a little thing for me,
133
00:04:47,908 --> 00:04:49,528
and I used to have
a big thing for her.
134
00:04:49,634 --> 00:04:51,124
She was gonna be
my homecoming date,
135
00:04:51,221 --> 00:04:53,091
but I got expelled,
so I couldn't do it.
136
00:04:53,189 --> 00:04:55,329
I'm one of the best.
She hasn't gotten over me.
137
00:04:55,433 --> 00:04:56,813
I know she hasn't.
138
00:04:56,917 --> 00:04:59,057
Would you get over this?
139
00:05:00,576 --> 00:05:01,956
Keysha!
140
00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:03,440
Girl!
141
00:05:03,544 --> 00:05:04,964
Look at you.
Gimme a hug.
142
00:05:05,063 --> 00:05:07,513
- Who do you think you are
buying off teachers?
143
00:05:07,617 --> 00:05:09,447
- The biggest comedian
in the world.
144
00:05:09,550 --> 00:05:11,970
A man that you used to be in
love with back in high school.
145
00:05:12,070 --> 00:05:14,140
- [laughing] Oh, see,
if you had told that joke
146
00:05:14,244 --> 00:05:15,974
on your "What Now?" tour,
someone mighta laughed.
147
00:05:16,074 --> 00:05:17,834
- That's funny.
How about this, baby?
148
00:05:17,938 --> 00:05:20,008
How about we patch all
this up over dinner?
149
00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:22,082
Let's discuss you
giving me an "A,"
150
00:05:22,183 --> 00:05:25,843
and me givin' you the "D."
[chuckling]
151
00:05:25,946 --> 00:05:27,286
Hm? You know what I mean.
152
00:05:27,396 --> 00:05:29,396
- Uh, yeah, I...I got that.
I already got the "D."
153
00:05:29,501 --> 00:05:31,711
I'm, uh, disgusted.
154
00:05:31,814 --> 00:05:33,684
Look, Kevin,
I can't be bought.
155
00:05:33,781 --> 00:05:36,091
Keep your money
and your "Get Hard" posters.
156
00:05:36,197 --> 00:05:39,887
I used to love Will Ferrell.
You've ruined him for me.
157
00:05:39,994 --> 00:05:42,514
- Just like good grades,
she's playin' hard to get.
158
00:05:42,618 --> 00:05:46,138
But I'm about to impress her
with some extra credits.
159
00:05:46,242 --> 00:05:48,622
Mmm!
160
00:05:48,727 --> 00:05:50,627
Coleman, I can't eat
none of this shit!
161
00:05:50,729 --> 00:05:51,829
- I'll see what I can
rustle up, sir.
162
00:05:51,937 --> 00:05:53,587
- Okay, gluten-free, Coleman.
- Yes, sir.
163
00:05:53,698 --> 00:05:55,078
- I'm not tryin'
to have no gas.
164
00:05:55,182 --> 00:05:56,842
- Where you goin',
Bernie Sanders?
165
00:05:56,942 --> 00:05:58,462
- I'm acting on orders
from my employer, madam.
166
00:05:58,565 --> 00:06:00,325
- Who?
- My employer, madam...
167
00:06:00,429 --> 00:06:02,949
Mr. Kevin Hart.
168
00:06:03,052 --> 00:06:05,852
- Well, well, well...
169
00:06:05,951 --> 00:06:08,891
if it ain't the man
that ruined my life!
170
00:06:08,989 --> 00:06:10,509
- What the hell
are you talkin' about?
171
00:06:10,611 --> 00:06:13,031
- It's Tasha Grigsby.
172
00:06:13,131 --> 00:06:15,241
- Okay, now, was that a boom
or was that your footstep?
173
00:06:15,340 --> 00:06:18,240
- Oh, don't make me
[bleep] you up, Kevin.
174
00:06:18,343 --> 00:06:20,523
You left me dateless
at the homecoming.
175
00:06:20,621 --> 00:06:22,211
- What you need to
be worried about
176
00:06:22,312 --> 00:06:23,902
is who the hell
left you toothless?
177
00:06:24,004 --> 00:06:25,874
- You--!
- KEVIN: [choking]
178
00:06:25,971 --> 00:06:28,181
Coleman, take Tasha down!
Coleman, take her down!
179
00:06:28,284 --> 00:06:29,874
Help me!
- Madam. Madam, please.
180
00:06:29,975 --> 00:06:31,105
- KEVIN: I didn't ask
you to no damn prom!
181
00:06:31,218 --> 00:06:33,568
- I didn't always
look like this--
182
00:06:33,669 --> 00:06:35,219
tired and worn out.
183
00:06:35,325 --> 00:06:38,975
Back in the day, before
Kevin Hart broke my heart,
184
00:06:39,088 --> 00:06:41,498
I actually looked like this...
185
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,923
- KEVIN: [grunts]
Oh!
186
00:06:45,025 --> 00:06:47,195
- You're gon' take me to
the homecoming this year,
187
00:06:47,303 --> 00:06:50,133
or you're gonna lose
your tater tots, you hear me?!
188
00:06:50,237 --> 00:06:51,447
You hear me?!
- KEVIN: [sobbing]
189
00:06:51,549 --> 00:06:53,759
Ow! Ow! Okay!
190
00:06:53,861 --> 00:06:57,971
- And Gollum here,
gon' take Mildred.
191
00:06:59,384 --> 00:07:01,904
- Oh, goody.
192
00:07:05,148 --> 00:07:06,838
- ♪ Hey you know
what time it is ♪
193
00:07:06,943 --> 00:07:08,153
- Burn 'n turn. Boom.
194
00:07:08,255 --> 00:07:10,395
- Oh, turn that shit back.
195
00:07:10,499 --> 00:07:12,289
- So, gentlemen, when's
Kevin gettin' back
196
00:07:12,397 --> 00:07:14,017
with his high school diploma?
197
00:07:14,123 --> 00:07:16,643
- Ha. My guess is
about five years.
198
00:07:16,746 --> 00:07:18,846
- I'll see your five
and raise you eight.
199
00:07:18,955 --> 00:07:20,295
- ALL:
[laughing]
200
00:07:20,405 --> 00:07:21,815
- Well, I'ma go
ahead and say...
201
00:07:21,924 --> 00:07:23,554
I bet a lifetime,
202
00:07:23,650 --> 00:07:26,140
'cause I done moved
all my stuff in.
203
00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:27,588
- Sure, boss.
204
00:07:27,688 --> 00:07:29,518
- WAYNE: I wanna ask
you a serious question.
205
00:07:29,621 --> 00:07:33,111
What would you do if your
woman was gonna have a baby
206
00:07:33,211 --> 00:07:36,421
through, uh,
artificial insemination?
207
00:07:36,525 --> 00:07:39,455
- Wait, is she gonna
use a robot?
208
00:07:39,562 --> 00:07:42,502
- Jackie! Jackie!
- What?
209
00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:45,600
- Jesus...that's...
that's artificial intelligence.
210
00:07:45,706 --> 00:07:47,806
Let me see your
high school diploma.
211
00:07:47,915 --> 00:07:50,395
- You ain't gotta worry
about that. I got that.
212
00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:52,894
I got mine right there.
- He's got it.
213
00:07:52,989 --> 00:07:56,099
- All right, listen, this sounds
like some serious shit, okay?
214
00:07:56,199 --> 00:07:59,509
So, who are we talking
about? Trina?
215
00:07:59,617 --> 00:08:01,377
- If we are, I'd like to
make a special donation
216
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,171
to that cause, ooh!
217
00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:04,825
- Come on, man,
this is serious.
218
00:08:04,932 --> 00:08:06,242
- Okay. Okay.
219
00:08:06,347 --> 00:08:07,757
- Well, it sounds to me
that she doesn't want
220
00:08:07,866 --> 00:08:09,896
a game show host leavin'
his own prizes in her womb.
221
00:08:10,006 --> 00:08:11,346
- OTHERS:
[laughing]
222
00:08:11,456 --> 00:08:14,696
- Or a tap-dancing baby
jumpin' out with jazz hands.
223
00:08:14,804 --> 00:08:17,264
- It sounds like she wants
to go with door #2.
224
00:08:17,358 --> 00:08:18,668
- OTHERS:
[laughing]
225
00:08:18,774 --> 00:08:21,364
- I see what your
problem is, Wayne--
226
00:08:21,466 --> 00:08:22,986
you're in a relationship
with a woman
227
00:08:23,088 --> 00:08:25,228
who's more
successful than you.
228
00:08:25,332 --> 00:08:26,922
- That's everybody
you ever dated.
229
00:08:27,023 --> 00:08:28,093
- That's not true.
230
00:08:28,197 --> 00:08:29,367
- What about the girl
in the car wash?
231
00:08:29,474 --> 00:08:30,544
- What about her?
232
00:08:30,648 --> 00:08:31,818
- Yeah, and the bathroom
attendant.
233
00:08:31,925 --> 00:08:33,265
How'd you meet her?
234
00:08:33,374 --> 00:08:35,344
- It was dark.
Went in the wrong door.
235
00:08:35,445 --> 00:08:37,655
- WAYNE: Oh, Jackie,
come on.
236
00:08:37,758 --> 00:08:38,618
The one night I need
the real husbands,
237
00:08:38,725 --> 00:08:41,175
I get stuck with
the real losers.
238
00:08:41,279 --> 00:08:42,899
These mitches are bitches.
[chuckles]
239
00:08:43,005 --> 00:08:45,725
- [mixed comments]
240
00:08:45,835 --> 00:08:47,765
- KEVIN:
Hey.
241
00:08:49,287 --> 00:08:50,667
- What's that you
got there?
242
00:08:50,771 --> 00:08:52,571
- Uh, these are the books
that you told me to read.
243
00:08:52,670 --> 00:08:54,640
- No, um, that.
- [goat bleats]
244
00:08:54,741 --> 00:08:55,951
- Oh, you're talking
about "Trinidad."
245
00:08:56,052 --> 00:08:57,262
- Yeah.
246
00:08:57,364 --> 00:08:59,164
- Oh, my God, I'm glad
you just said that.
247
00:08:59,262 --> 00:09:00,192
Wait, I gotta do this.
248
00:09:00,298 --> 00:09:01,818
Come here. Come here.
249
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:05,650
Okay, give me a second.
[clears throat]
250
00:09:05,752 --> 00:09:07,412
Excuse me!
[claps hands]
251
00:09:07,512 --> 00:09:09,172
Can I have everybody's
attention, please?
252
00:09:09,272 --> 00:09:10,522
- [Trinidad bleats]
253
00:09:10,619 --> 00:09:13,069
- Um, 20 years ago,
a goat was killed here
254
00:09:13,173 --> 00:09:14,863
by a stray cannonball.
255
00:09:14,968 --> 00:09:17,178
Me being the
[unintelligible] that I am,
256
00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:19,210
I decided to let
bygoats be bygoats.
257
00:09:19,317 --> 00:09:20,387
- [Trinidad bleats]
258
00:09:20,490 --> 00:09:23,360
- So, I'm bringing
you your new mascot.
259
00:09:23,459 --> 00:09:27,049
I would to introduce
you all to Trinidad II.
260
00:09:27,152 --> 00:09:30,092
As of today,
the curse is over,
261
00:09:30,190 --> 00:09:34,160
and we are ba-a-a-a-a-ck!
262
00:09:34,263 --> 00:09:36,993
- CROWD:
[cheering, applauding]
263
00:09:37,093 --> 00:09:38,203
- Better get us free tickets.
264
00:09:38,301 --> 00:09:40,171
- Hey, that's tough love.
265
00:09:40,269 --> 00:09:44,409
- CROWD: [shouting
mixed comments]
266
00:09:50,313 --> 00:09:52,013
- KEVIN:
[clears throat]
267
00:09:52,108 --> 00:09:53,488
[laughs]
268
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,603
So...are you impressed?
269
00:09:56,699 --> 00:09:57,769
- No.
270
00:09:57,873 --> 00:09:59,503
You really do think
that you can buy your way
271
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,909
out of anything, don't you?
272
00:10:01,014 --> 00:10:02,294
- Yes. Yes, I do.
273
00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:05,474
Why else be rich
and famous, know that?
274
00:10:05,570 --> 00:10:07,540
- Who read those books,
you or Coleman?
275
00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:09,061
- Who do you
think read them?
276
00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:10,130
- Coleman.
277
00:10:10,230 --> 00:10:11,990
- So, how did he do?
Did I pass?
278
00:10:12,094 --> 00:10:15,104
- No. No, you don't pass
until you pass the final,
279
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,750
which I doubt you will do.
280
00:10:16,857 --> 00:10:18,197
- Okay, well, I'll
make a deal with you.
281
00:10:18,307 --> 00:10:20,617
If and when I do
pass this final,
282
00:10:20,723 --> 00:10:24,383
you have to let me take
you to the homecoming dance.
283
00:10:24,485 --> 00:10:27,105
- [laughs] You really
are cocky, aren't you?
284
00:10:27,212 --> 00:10:28,282
- I've been told that.
285
00:10:28,386 --> 00:10:31,286
- I'll tell you what.
It's a bet.
286
00:10:31,389 --> 00:10:33,179
If you fail...
- Okay.
287
00:10:33,287 --> 00:10:36,357
- ...then you have to build a
new computer lab for the school.
288
00:10:36,463 --> 00:10:38,403
- Oh, Miss Turner's
about to go down.
289
00:10:38,499 --> 00:10:39,569
See, what she doesn't
know is that
290
00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:41,473
I'm wearin' these
special glasses,
291
00:10:41,571 --> 00:10:44,301
and what I see,
Coleman can see.
292
00:10:44,402 --> 00:10:47,302
And what Coleman says,
I can hear.
293
00:10:47,405 --> 00:10:48,715
Oh...
294
00:10:48,820 --> 00:10:50,410
did I mention that
I can see her underwear
295
00:10:50,511 --> 00:10:53,551
with these things on?
[chuckling]
296
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,343
They're blue.
[chuckling]
297
00:10:55,447 --> 00:10:56,897
We about you.
- [Trinidad bleating]
298
00:10:57,001 --> 00:10:58,381
- Good.
299
00:11:02,351 --> 00:11:06,561
- ♪
300
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,356
- There he is--Tony Rock!
301
00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:10,120
You're one of the funniest
men in the country.
302
00:11:10,221 --> 00:11:11,501
My man.
- Wayne Brady.
303
00:11:11,601 --> 00:11:12,711
What's up, sir?
- You know me.
304
00:11:12,810 --> 00:11:15,020
Just makin' deals.
- I feel you. I feel you.
305
00:11:15,122 --> 00:11:16,472
So, how's Trina doin'?
306
00:11:16,572 --> 00:11:19,642
- That's right, the two
of you used to date.
307
00:11:19,748 --> 00:11:21,918
- Yeah, you put an end
to that, though.
308
00:11:22,026 --> 00:11:23,476
- Tony, Tony, Tony,
309
00:11:23,579 --> 00:11:26,029
uh, did Trina ever talk
to you about, uh...
310
00:11:26,133 --> 00:11:29,173
artificial insemination?
311
00:11:29,274 --> 00:11:31,454
- [laughing]
312
00:11:31,552 --> 00:11:33,212
Trina, Trina, Trina.
313
00:11:33,313 --> 00:11:34,733
Things must be gettin'
close between you two.
314
00:11:34,832 --> 00:11:36,632
- Close? Close like what?
315
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:38,320
- A real relationship.
316
00:11:38,421 --> 00:11:40,871
See, Trina likes to act
like she doesn't play games,
317
00:11:40,976 --> 00:11:42,906
but she's a [bleep]
puppet master, okay?
318
00:11:43,012 --> 00:11:44,432
Take it from
a former puppet.
319
00:11:44,531 --> 00:11:46,841
When she gets real,
a little too close,
320
00:11:46,947 --> 00:11:48,977
she gets scared
and starts to pull away.
321
00:11:49,087 --> 00:11:50,607
But she can't woman up
and tell you that.
322
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:51,990
She'll manipulate you
323
00:11:52,090 --> 00:11:53,440
and make you shoot
yourself in the foot.
324
00:11:53,540 --> 00:11:56,580
With me it was, "Hey, let's take
a year and see the world...
325
00:11:56,681 --> 00:11:58,371
and other people."
- Who does that?
326
00:11:58,476 --> 00:11:59,786
- A woman tryin' to get
rid of your Black ass,
327
00:11:59,891 --> 00:12:01,031
that's who does it.
328
00:12:01,134 --> 00:12:02,724
- So, did you take
the year off?
329
00:12:02,825 --> 00:12:03,925
- Yeah, I had no choice.
330
00:12:04,033 --> 00:12:05,623
She bought an around
the world ticket for one.
331
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,065
- What happened?
332
00:12:07,174 --> 00:12:09,944
- She met you, asshole.
- Ha, uh...
333
00:12:10,039 --> 00:12:11,279
- ♪ You're hot
334
00:12:11,385 --> 00:12:12,555
♪ You're hot
335
00:12:12,662 --> 00:12:13,842
♪ You're hot
336
00:12:13,940 --> 00:12:15,010
♪ You're hot
337
00:12:15,113 --> 00:12:16,743
♪ You're hot
338
00:12:16,839 --> 00:12:18,119
♪ You're hot ♪
339
00:12:18,220 --> 00:12:19,910
- I can't believe it.
Look...look at this.
340
00:12:20,015 --> 00:12:21,495
Wow.
[laughs]
341
00:12:21,602 --> 00:12:23,542
Hey, you didn't think I was
gonna pass that exam, did you?
342
00:12:23,639 --> 00:12:24,709
- No.
343
00:12:24,813 --> 00:12:26,093
- You'd better be lucky
you didn't bet
344
00:12:26,193 --> 00:12:27,713
those blue panties
that you were wearin'.
345
00:12:27,816 --> 00:12:29,846
- Huh?
- Not that I would know.
346
00:12:29,956 --> 00:12:31,366
Let's get on a new
topic, now.
347
00:12:31,474 --> 00:12:33,794
You're not gonna start
cheerin' my name.
348
00:12:33,891 --> 00:12:36,581
- STUDENTS:
[chanting "Kevin!"]
349
00:12:41,657 --> 00:12:43,617
- Yes!
- [cheering stops]
350
00:12:43,728 --> 00:12:45,138
- Now listen to me.
351
00:12:45,247 --> 00:12:47,007
I told y'all I was gonna make
this school great again
352
00:12:47,111 --> 00:12:50,081
and that's exactly
what I did, people.
353
00:12:50,183 --> 00:12:52,743
- STUDENTS & STAFF:
[cheering, applauding]
354
00:12:52,841 --> 00:12:54,331
- KEVIN:
Okay?
355
00:12:54,428 --> 00:12:58,258
For the first time in
20 years, we won! We won!
356
00:12:58,363 --> 00:13:00,923
- STUDENTS & STAFF:
[cheering, applauding]
357
00:13:01,021 --> 00:13:02,401
- Now that I made
the school great again,
358
00:13:02,505 --> 00:13:04,155
you guys can be
just as great as me.
359
00:13:04,266 --> 00:13:06,366
Wait a minute, that's not right,
that's not right.
360
00:13:06,475 --> 00:13:07,985
Not as great as me,
361
00:13:08,097 --> 00:13:09,747
but you guys can be
somewhat successful
362
00:13:09,858 --> 00:13:13,378
with a new computer lab that
I'm donating to the school.
363
00:13:13,482 --> 00:13:15,692
- STUDENTS & STAFF:
[cheering, applauding]
364
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:19,135
- Now, without further badu,
let's get this party started!
365
00:13:19,246 --> 00:13:21,146
- STUDENTS & STAFF:
[cheering, applauding]
366
00:13:21,248 --> 00:13:25,358
- ♪ The lights are
turned down low ♪
367
00:13:25,459 --> 00:13:28,639
♪ And I'm here to show
you how to flow ♪
368
00:13:28,738 --> 00:13:30,258
♪ When I know
the song's on ♪
369
00:13:30,361 --> 00:13:31,811
♪ Watch me get
my wind on ♪
370
00:13:31,914 --> 00:13:33,784
♪ Watch me get mine on
371
00:13:33,882 --> 00:13:35,402
♪ Get down low
372
00:13:35,504 --> 00:13:37,064
♪ Sittin' in my
cool clothes ♪
373
00:13:37,161 --> 00:13:38,441
♪ I ask her where she go
374
00:13:38,541 --> 00:13:40,131
♪ Makes no difference
now though ♪
375
00:13:40,233 --> 00:13:42,613
♪ Meet me every day
376
00:13:42,718 --> 00:13:43,718
♪ Meet me with spirit
377
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,103
♪ Every day we wake up
378
00:13:45,203 --> 00:13:47,383
♪ Every day we
got business ♪
379
00:13:47,481 --> 00:13:50,551
[music tempo slows]
380
00:13:50,657 --> 00:13:53,417
♪ Yeah
381
00:13:53,522 --> 00:13:55,942
♪ Oh oh oh oh I...
382
00:13:56,042 --> 00:13:57,152
- WOMAN:
[screams]
383
00:13:57,250 --> 00:13:58,560
- MAN: What is that?
- WOMAN: Oh, my God!
384
00:13:58,665 --> 00:14:00,005
- TASHA:
Hey!
385
00:14:00,115 --> 00:14:01,665
- WOMAN:
[screams]
386
00:14:01,771 --> 00:14:02,981
- ALL:
[screaming]
387
00:14:03,083 --> 00:14:05,153
- You forgot
to pick me up!
388
00:14:05,258 --> 00:14:08,468
Guess what I'm servin'
with tater tots.
389
00:14:08,571 --> 00:14:10,301
[kisses]
390
00:14:10,401 --> 00:14:13,061
- Uh, this light-
thighed tater tot
391
00:14:13,162 --> 00:14:15,342
done lost her
goat-damn mind.
392
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:19,310
Um...yeah ...tried...
I tried calling your, um...
393
00:14:19,410 --> 00:14:21,860
your cell phone and your
number's, I think, 818--
394
00:14:21,964 --> 00:14:23,554
You crazy [bleep]!
395
00:14:23,655 --> 00:14:26,935
- [cackling laughter]
396
00:14:30,524 --> 00:14:33,604
[cackling continues]
397
00:14:37,704 --> 00:14:39,714
- WAYNE: Everybody, welcome
back to "Let's Make a Deal."
398
00:14:39,809 --> 00:14:41,399
I need a lady, I need
a single lady right now
399
00:14:41,501 --> 00:14:43,091
to make a deal with me.
400
00:14:43,192 --> 00:14:44,472
I need a single lady.
401
00:14:44,573 --> 00:14:46,513
You! You, right here,
come with me.
402
00:14:46,609 --> 00:14:47,989
Trina.
- AUDIENCE: [cheering]
403
00:14:48,094 --> 00:14:49,684
- What are you
doing, Wayne?
404
00:14:49,785 --> 00:14:51,125
- Listen...
405
00:14:51,235 --> 00:14:53,265
All right, Trina.
- This isn't funny.
406
00:14:53,375 --> 00:14:54,575
- Neither is artificial
insemination.
407
00:14:54,686 --> 00:14:57,166
All right, welcome
to the show, Trina.
408
00:14:57,275 --> 00:14:59,345
So, Trina, what are
you dressed as?
409
00:14:59,450 --> 00:15:00,830
- I'm not playing, Wayne.
410
00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:02,564
- Oh, I get it--
an angry, Black woman.
411
00:15:02,660 --> 00:15:04,420
Good choice.
- AUDIENCE: [laughs]
412
00:15:04,524 --> 00:15:06,284
- No, I'm just kiddin'.
Just kiddin'.
413
00:15:06,388 --> 00:15:07,348
Maybe this will soften
it a little bit.
414
00:15:07,458 --> 00:15:11,388
How about a check
for $500?
415
00:15:11,496 --> 00:15:12,946
- AUDIENCE:
[cheering, applauding]
416
00:15:13,050 --> 00:15:14,980
- Mm-hm, but you look
really successful.
417
00:15:15,086 --> 00:15:16,326
You may not want this check.
418
00:15:16,432 --> 00:15:17,992
I think I know
what you want.
419
00:15:18,089 --> 00:15:19,019
You can have the check,
420
00:15:19,125 --> 00:15:22,815
or whatever is inside
this envelope.
421
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,162
Check or the envelope?
422
00:15:24,268 --> 00:15:26,788
- AUDIENCE: [shouting
mixed comments]
423
00:15:26,891 --> 00:15:28,651
- Wayne, you know I don't
like playing games.
424
00:15:28,755 --> 00:15:29,885
- That's not what I heard.
425
00:15:29,998 --> 00:15:31,898
What'd you say?
You don't want the money?
426
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,590
You don't need my money.
I've heard that before.
427
00:15:34,692 --> 00:15:38,702
What's in the envelope?
It is...
428
00:15:38,799 --> 00:15:42,289
an all-expense paid
trip around the world
429
00:15:42,389 --> 00:15:45,249
on an airline for one!
- AUDIENCE: [cheering]
430
00:15:45,358 --> 00:15:47,048
- Look at that! This...
431
00:15:47,153 --> 00:15:51,923
this would be a great trip for
someone who loves to fly solo.
432
00:15:52,020 --> 00:15:55,610
What? What you--
Oh, this isn't good enough?
433
00:15:55,713 --> 00:15:58,163
You want something else?
I got you.
434
00:15:58,267 --> 00:15:59,957
What's in the big box?
Tiffany?
435
00:16:00,062 --> 00:16:04,242
- [game show music]
- AUDIENCE: [cheering]
436
00:16:04,342 --> 00:16:06,212
- WAYNE: It's a brand
new baby boy.
437
00:16:06,310 --> 00:16:07,310
Bring that little
bundle of joy
438
00:16:07,414 --> 00:16:10,314
on over here, Tiffany.
439
00:16:10,417 --> 00:16:12,177
Go ahead and hold him.
440
00:16:12,281 --> 00:16:13,211
Oh, he's got my hair.
441
00:16:13,317 --> 00:16:15,457
Look at him. So cute.
442
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,290
Yep, this little
bundle of joy
443
00:16:17,390 --> 00:16:19,740
pees, cries and, uh...
[sniffing]
444
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:21,950
yep, even does that, too.
- AUDIENCE: [laughing]
445
00:16:22,050 --> 00:16:23,470
- And you know, the best part
about this little baby--
446
00:16:23,568 --> 00:16:26,048
he don't need no daddy.
[laughing]
447
00:16:26,157 --> 00:16:27,497
- [baby doll cries]
- Yep!
448
00:16:27,607 --> 00:16:29,917
Look at that--those
were two great prizes
449
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:33,163
for the woman who can
do it all on her own,
450
00:16:33,268 --> 00:16:38,508
unless you are willing to take
a chance on true happiness.
451
00:16:38,618 --> 00:16:39,718
Jonathan...huh?
452
00:16:39,826 --> 00:16:41,616
- Wayne, why are you
doing this?
453
00:16:41,724 --> 00:16:44,494
- Why are you so afraid?
454
00:16:44,589 --> 00:16:46,629
So?
- Fine!
455
00:16:46,729 --> 00:16:48,459
I'll play your game, Wayne.
- AUDIENCE: [cheering]
456
00:16:48,559 --> 00:16:49,659
- I'll take the box.
457
00:16:49,767 --> 00:16:51,177
- WAYNE: She's goin'
for the box!
458
00:16:51,286 --> 00:16:55,386
Oh, you've won two
brand new keys.
459
00:16:55,497 --> 00:16:58,187
- AUDIENCE:
[cheering, applauding]
460
00:16:58,293 --> 00:17:00,433
- Wow.
- To my house.
461
00:17:00,536 --> 00:17:02,806
- What?
- AUDIENCE: [cheering]
462
00:17:02,918 --> 00:17:06,228
- Yes, I...
463
00:17:06,335 --> 00:17:08,055
Hold on, folks,
hold on, hold on.
464
00:17:08,165 --> 00:17:09,855
Look, I'm tired of
playing games, Trina.
465
00:17:09,959 --> 00:17:11,689
If we're really gonna
make this work,
466
00:17:11,789 --> 00:17:13,519
let's make it work,
or let's just stop
467
00:17:13,618 --> 00:17:15,548
this relationship, okay?
468
00:17:15,655 --> 00:17:17,205
Now I'm not trying
to force anything.
469
00:17:17,312 --> 00:17:18,592
Baby steps, baby steps.
470
00:17:18,692 --> 00:17:20,322
I get it. I don't want
you to be scared.
471
00:17:20,418 --> 00:17:22,698
But we've gotta
start someplace, right?
472
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:26,320
So, my cards are
on the table.
473
00:17:26,424 --> 00:17:31,264
And they're all hearts.
- AUDIENCE: Aw...
474
00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:34,050
[shouting mixed comments]
475
00:17:37,297 --> 00:17:39,847
- Come on, baby,
I need an answer--
476
00:17:39,955 --> 00:17:42,575
because we've gotta
go to commercial.
477
00:17:42,682 --> 00:17:45,552
- Is Trina gonna have to
move in with the mitch?
478
00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:47,200
- AUDIENCE:
[cheering, applauding]
479
00:17:47,307 --> 00:17:49,587
- [game show music]
480
00:17:49,689 --> 00:17:51,479
- KEVIN:
Don't do it, Trina.
481
00:17:51,587 --> 00:17:52,517
- WAYNE: She took
the big deal, y'all.
482
00:17:52,623 --> 00:17:54,453
- KEVIN: You better
not listen--
483
00:17:54,556 --> 00:17:56,316
Wayne's lyin', man.
His house is in foreclosure.
484
00:17:56,420 --> 00:17:58,940
Wayne is a dog.
- AUDIENCE: [cheering]
485
00:17:59,043 --> 00:18:03,463
- Hey ...leman!
- [doorbell rings]
486
00:18:03,565 --> 00:18:05,735
- Hey, Coleman,
get the door!
487
00:18:05,843 --> 00:18:07,403
I shoulda left Coleman
in Philadelphia.
488
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:08,980
Where's he at?
489
00:18:10,951 --> 00:18:12,021
Hey.
- Hi.
490
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:14,225
- What are you doing here?
- You forgot this.
491
00:18:14,334 --> 00:18:16,134
- Forgot this?
- Mm-hm.
492
00:18:16,233 --> 00:18:17,583
What is this?
493
00:18:17,682 --> 00:18:20,862
- On behalf of Morning
Star High School,
494
00:18:20,961 --> 00:18:23,411
I present you...
495
00:18:23,516 --> 00:18:26,276
with...
496
00:18:26,381 --> 00:18:27,691
- Mmm!
497
00:18:27,796 --> 00:18:30,936
- BOTH:
[laughing]
498
00:18:32,041 --> 00:18:33,181
- Oh, we've gotta
get to the bed.
499
00:18:33,284 --> 00:18:34,394
- Wait, wait, wait.
- What?
500
00:18:34,492 --> 00:18:37,392
First, I am gonna
slip into something
501
00:18:37,495 --> 00:18:40,565
a little more...naked...
502
00:18:40,671 --> 00:18:42,571
and when I come
back, baby,
503
00:18:42,673 --> 00:18:44,783
I'm gonna give you
a real education.
504
00:18:44,882 --> 00:18:47,712
- Oh! Oh!
505
00:18:49,887 --> 00:18:51,367
Mmm! Mmm!
506
00:18:51,475 --> 00:18:53,265
[sighs]
507
00:18:53,373 --> 00:18:55,243
Girl, I'm so hype!
508
00:18:55,341 --> 00:18:56,861
Go like this.
Okay. Girl?
509
00:18:56,963 --> 00:18:59,173
You got me out here
all twistin' and turning,
510
00:18:59,276 --> 00:19:00,656
I'm so ready for you.
511
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:02,870
I've been waiting for
this for like 20 years!
512
00:19:02,969 --> 00:19:04,829
- FEMALE VOICE:
So have I!
513
00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:07,656
- What? She drinkin' some
water from the city?
514
00:19:07,767 --> 00:19:09,107
Why her voice sound
like that?
515
00:19:09,217 --> 00:19:11,667
Sounds like mine.
What are you talkin' about?
516
00:19:11,771 --> 00:19:13,841
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey!
517
00:19:13,945 --> 00:19:16,665
- Shut up and take
it like a man.
518
00:19:16,776 --> 00:19:18,666
- Take what? What you
tryin' to get me like a man?
519
00:19:18,778 --> 00:19:19,708
Ain't nobody tryin' to get--
520
00:19:19,813 --> 00:19:21,683
No, no, no!
I don't need those.
521
00:19:21,781 --> 00:19:23,441
No, I don't like it.
522
00:19:23,541 --> 00:19:24,541
Yes, I do.
523
00:19:24,646 --> 00:19:26,226
No, get it off me.
524
00:19:26,337 --> 00:19:28,817
Oh, stop it. Move.
Okay, Okay.
525
00:19:28,926 --> 00:19:31,516
Look, if we gon' do this,
let's do it right.
526
00:19:31,618 --> 00:19:34,068
- What's that?
- Let me get on top.
527
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,313
Let me filet your mignon.
528
00:19:36,416 --> 00:19:39,446
- Oh...yes.
529
00:19:39,557 --> 00:19:42,487
- BOTH:
[laughing]
530
00:19:42,595 --> 00:19:45,455
- Come here. Relax.
Relax, girl.
531
00:19:45,563 --> 00:19:46,913
I've been waitin'
for this.
532
00:19:47,013 --> 00:19:48,743
Die! Die!
533
00:19:48,842 --> 00:19:49,982
- [muffled screams]
534
00:19:50,085 --> 00:19:51,595
- Oh, you a strong
mother [bleep]!
535
00:19:51,707 --> 00:19:55,187
- [muffled screams
continue]
536
00:19:55,297 --> 00:19:57,367
- KEVIN:
[yelping]
537
00:19:57,472 --> 00:20:00,342
You killed her!
you killed her!
538
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:01,990
- [cackling laughter]
539
00:20:03,892 --> 00:20:05,892
- [cackling laughter]
540
00:20:05,997 --> 00:20:21,977
- ♪
39351
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