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1
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,750
- [muttering sleepily]
Sandwich.
2
00:00:15,798 --> 00:00:18,148
Get over there and
let me get it.
3
00:00:18,192 --> 00:00:20,322
Can't nobody save me now.
4
00:00:20,368 --> 00:00:22,458
KEVIN: You know, when you're a big-time Hollywood star
5
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:26,160
like me, the two things you value most are
6
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,160
your friends and your sleep.
7
00:00:27,201 --> 00:00:29,641
[doorbell ringing]
8
00:00:29,681 --> 00:00:31,341
- Go away!
9
00:00:31,379 --> 00:00:33,509
[doorbell ringing]
10
00:00:33,555 --> 00:00:34,815
- [groaning] Wait.
11
00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:36,650
- [doorbell ringing repeatedly]
12
00:00:38,386 --> 00:00:39,776
- KEVIN: But with Duane,
13
00:00:39,822 --> 00:00:42,132
you wish you could just have
your friends put to sleep.
14
00:00:42,172 --> 00:00:44,782
♪ This is the life This is the life ♪
15
00:00:44,827 --> 00:00:46,217
♪ We got the life We got the life ♪
16
00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:48,273
♪ This is the city Where we party ♪
17
00:00:48,309 --> 00:00:50,269
♪ Every night Party every night ♪
18
00:00:50,311 --> 00:00:53,441
♪ You and me Down and to go ♪
19
00:00:53,488 --> 00:00:58,798
♪ Welcome to Hollywood Welcome to Hollywood ♪
20
00:00:58,841 --> 00:01:00,191
[doorbell ringing]
21
00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:02,244
- Come on, dawg.
Whaddup, baby?
22
00:01:02,279 --> 00:01:03,759
Y'all, I so
am so glad you're up.
23
00:01:03,802 --> 00:01:06,242
Listen, I need a huge
favor from you.
24
00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:08,333
- Shank, it's 3:00 in
the [bleep] damn morning and you
25
00:01:08,372 --> 00:01:10,942
come here dressed like you
[bleep] doin' Wild Wild West 2.
26
00:01:10,983 --> 00:01:13,293
I don't know what's goin' on.
27
00:01:13,334 --> 00:01:15,164
Let me guess-Tisha
done kicked you out again.
28
00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:15,895
- No, no, no.
- Is that what it is?
29
00:01:15,945 --> 00:01:16,545
- No, I got-
30
00:01:19,644 --> 00:01:21,394
- Oh, my God, you're
sellin' Mane 'n Tail.
31
00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:23,469
- Yes. I mean, no.
- What?
32
00:01:23,518 --> 00:01:24,948
- It's a long story, Kevin.
33
00:01:24,997 --> 00:01:26,557
I just need somewhere to stash
my new client, Camilo,
34
00:01:26,608 --> 00:01:27,828
for the night.
35
00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:29,260
- Hola, Señor Ride Along.
36
00:01:29,306 --> 00:01:31,266
- Are you out of
your head, Duane?
37
00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:33,438
- Oh!
38
00:01:33,484 --> 00:01:36,494
This kid right here throws
a 106-mile-an-hour fastball.
39
00:01:36,531 --> 00:01:38,661
Once I get Earvin to see him,
the Dodgers are gonna sign him
40
00:01:38,707 --> 00:01:40,137
to a multimillion dollar deal.
41
00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:42,317
- And that means that he can
afford his own room, Duane.
42
00:01:42,363 --> 00:01:43,323
- No, no, but let me tell you-
- Don't stand here-
43
00:01:43,364 --> 00:01:44,714
Get off!
44
00:01:44,756 --> 00:01:46,886
- BOTH: [straining]
45
00:01:46,932 --> 00:01:47,982
- Stop hittin' me up, man.
46
00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:49,720
- Tonight's Tisha's sex night.
47
00:01:49,761 --> 00:01:52,631
- [sharp slap]
48
00:01:52,677 --> 00:01:53,637
Don't you ever say no [bleep]
like that to me again.
49
00:01:53,678 --> 00:01:54,898
- Just for the night.
50
00:01:54,940 --> 00:01:56,200
A half a night.
51
00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:58,246
- Did you steal him off of
a baseball field, Duane?
52
00:01:58,292 --> 00:02:01,252
- [laughing]
That's exactly what I did.
53
00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:02,765
Took him right out the bullpen.
54
00:02:02,818 --> 00:02:06,428
Then I snuck him out of Cuba
in a blow-up raft into Cancun.
55
00:02:06,474 --> 00:02:08,694
But the only snag in the whole
trip was payin' off the
56
00:02:08,737 --> 00:02:10,087
Mexican cartel.
57
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,830
They tried to cut off my ar-
charge an arm and a leg.
58
00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:12,960
But you know me.
59
00:02:13,002 --> 00:02:16,482
I had a back-up plan, baby.
60
00:02:16,527 --> 00:02:18,617
- [cash register tings]
61
00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:19,920
- Okay look, man, just let
me think about it, Duane.
62
00:02:19,965 --> 00:02:21,835
I'll get back to you, okay?
63
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,270
- When?
64
00:02:23,317 --> 00:02:24,267
- Never.
65
00:02:24,318 --> 00:02:26,758
[laughing]
66
00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:27,968
- Dilo por el pecho.
67
00:02:29,627 --> 00:02:30,367
- What the...?
68
00:02:31,455 --> 00:02:33,405
You know what? I don't even care.
69
00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:34,847
So what, Bridgette
blew up my Porsche.
70
00:02:34,893 --> 00:02:36,503
You don't know nothin' about
that 'cause you wasn't
71
00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:38,027
even there.
72
00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:39,330
- What I do know is you've
still got a Bridgette explosion
73
00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:41,466
goin' off in your
pocket every month.
74
00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:42,549
$30 grand.
75
00:02:42,597 --> 00:02:43,547
- KEVIN: I don't care.
76
00:02:43,598 --> 00:02:44,818
- Boom.
77
00:02:44,860 --> 00:02:46,300
- KEVIN: Do you know why
divorce is expensive?
78
00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:47,340
- Why?
79
00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:48,654
- Because it's worth it-
that's why.
80
00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:49,690
- FAIZON: Well, you know what?
81
00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:50,694
Riddle me this.
Check this out.
82
00:02:50,735 --> 00:02:52,425
How do you divorce a girlfriend?
83
00:02:52,476 --> 00:02:53,776
- What?
84
00:02:53,825 --> 00:02:54,865
- FAIZON: Yeah, okay,
I'm dating this girl, right?
85
00:02:54,913 --> 00:02:56,393
She done moved her sisters in.
86
00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:57,697
They're not
even her real sisters.
87
00:02:57,742 --> 00:02:58,832
They're her sorors.
88
00:02:58,874 --> 00:03:01,404
They're walkin' around "Soror!"
Right?
89
00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:02,792
They're mean five mean.
90
00:03:02,834 --> 00:03:04,184
I don't even like goin' home.
91
00:03:04,227 --> 00:03:05,967
I pretend like I'm on tour,
just so I don't go home.
92
00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:07,401
- Wow.
93
00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:08,838
- FAIZON: Matter of fact,
if she calls here, y'all saw
94
00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:09,844
me headlinin' in Vegas.
95
00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:11,315
You got that?
96
00:03:11,365 --> 00:03:12,755
- Oh, you know I'd lie for you.
I got you all day, Faiz.
97
00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:14,151
- That's right.
98
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,674
- GARY: Well, I can't wait to
get home to my queen.
99
00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:17,547
I mean, I'm gonna run her
a bubble bath and give her like
100
00:03:17,588 --> 00:03:18,848
a full-body massage.
101
00:03:18,894 --> 00:03:20,334
I might even braid her hair.
102
00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:21,384
- What?
103
00:03:21,418 --> 00:03:22,988
- You know, she's part Indian.
104
00:03:23,028 --> 00:03:23,808
Like a lot of Black girls say
it, but she really has Cherokee
105
00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:25,415
in her family.
106
00:03:25,466 --> 00:03:26,766
It doesn't look like Celie
of "The Color Purple."
107
00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:28,945
When I do it, it looks like
Wall-A's head,
108
00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:29,951
in a feminine way.
109
00:03:29,992 --> 00:03:31,822
[laughing]
110
00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:34,343
Oh, you guys don't do that?
111
00:03:34,388 --> 00:03:35,348
- No.
112
00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:36,349
- It's weird.
113
00:03:36,390 --> 00:03:37,960
- KEVIN: Very.
114
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,870
- Now, look, Faizon, you gotta
show your girl that there's
115
00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:40,915
a king in that castle.
116
00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:42,609
- You're Faizon Love.
117
00:03:42,657 --> 00:03:45,487
Come on, man, you were the token
Black guy in "Couples Retreat."
118
00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:46,489
You hear me?
119
00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:47,790
You're on the damn poster.
120
00:03:47,836 --> 00:03:50,266
I saw you. Right on the end.
121
00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:52,097
Wait, they cropped you out
of the international one,
122
00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:53,104
though.
123
00:03:53,145 --> 00:03:54,095
They cut you right on off that.
124
00:03:54,146 --> 00:03:55,576
That pissed me off.
125
00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:57,106
That's real-the point that
I'm makin', Faiz, she can be
126
00:03:57,149 --> 00:03:58,759
cropped out, too.
127
00:03:58,803 --> 00:04:00,943
She ain't got to be in your
picture, man.
128
00:04:00,979 --> 00:04:02,809
Crop her ass right on out.
129
00:04:02,851 --> 00:04:05,681
- Listen to him, if you want to
be in a miserable relationship.
130
00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:07,733
I'ma give you guys some free
advice on how to deal with
131
00:04:07,769 --> 00:04:09,509
a Black woman.
132
00:04:12,426 --> 00:04:14,466
- Gary thinks that just because
he's married to a Black woman,
133
00:04:14,515 --> 00:04:16,165
he's mastered the
art of sisters.
134
00:04:16,212 --> 00:04:19,482
Hell, just because I eat a pizza
don't make me Italian, capisce?
135
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,570
- Look, you wouldn't have any
of these problems, if you
136
00:04:21,609 --> 00:04:23,519
started putting your Black
women on a pedestal.
137
00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:24,567
- Put her on a pedestal?
138
00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:25,662
I can't get her off.
139
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:27,750
- All right, Gary,
give it to me.
140
00:04:27,789 --> 00:04:29,359
Give it to me.
141
00:04:29,399 --> 00:04:30,789
I want the crack pipe, the meth,
whatever it is that you White
142
00:04:30,835 --> 00:04:32,485
boys do, gimme some of it.
143
00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:34,753
- You should write a book and
call it "Fifty Shades of Gary."
144
00:04:34,796 --> 00:04:37,146
- ALL: [laughing]
145
00:04:37,189 --> 00:04:38,759
- Keep laughing, guys.
146
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,500
Listen, cynicism isn't gonna get
you anywhere, so I'm gonna let
147
00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:42,722
you in on a little secret.
148
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,980
The key to keeping a
Black woman happy...
149
00:04:46,024 --> 00:04:50,594
Hint: You have to be
a cunning linguist.
150
00:04:50,638 --> 00:04:52,728
[laughing]
151
00:04:52,770 --> 00:04:54,290
I know you guys think it's
some White boy stuff, I do.
152
00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:56,557
But if you don't wake up in
the morning like you just ate a
153
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,080
glazed donut, a little
marmalade on your face...
154
00:04:58,123 --> 00:04:59,913
I do it every night.
There's a reason I look young.
155
00:04:59,951 --> 00:05:01,341
I'm 65 years old.
156
00:05:01,388 --> 00:05:02,818
You know, White people, we age
terribly-like a banana.
157
00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:05,777
[laughing]
158
00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:07,567
Bottom line is-you got to keep
the nappy happy.
159
00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:09,401
- Did Gary just use
the "n" word?
160
00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:11,439
I just told this [bleep]
not to use that.
161
00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:13,525
- Kevin, how old is
your son now?
162
00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:15,534
- Seven.
Just turned seven, actually.
163
00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:17,616
- So, yes, you are not
the daddy.
164
00:05:17,665 --> 00:05:19,185
- OTHERS: [laughing]
165
00:05:19,231 --> 00:05:20,671
- KEVIN: What are you
talking about?
166
00:05:20,711 --> 00:05:21,841
Unless you know something
I don't know, I am the daddy.
167
00:05:21,886 --> 00:05:23,016
- FAIZON: Well...
168
00:05:23,061 --> 00:05:24,891
- Hey, man, what
did I tell you?
169
00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:26,113
Stay your ass in the back.
170
00:05:26,151 --> 00:05:27,631
- Tengo mucho hambre.
171
00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:29,195
- Well, ain't nobody got time
to tangle with you, hombre.
172
00:05:29,241 --> 00:05:30,631
What do you think this is?
173
00:05:30,678 --> 00:05:32,548
- He's hungry, Kevin.
174
00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:36,119
¿Te gusta pizza?
175
00:05:36,161 --> 00:05:38,381
- Sí, gracias, Roberto
de Cosbey Show.
176
00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:39,635
¿Hablas español?
177
00:05:39,687 --> 00:05:42,037
- Sí, sí, un poquito
pero suficiente.
178
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:43,560
- ¿Le toca?
179
00:05:43,604 --> 00:05:45,004
- Little boy that Shake found.
180
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,740
He's supposed to be a good
pitcher, so Shake think he's
181
00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:49,651
gonna get millions
of dollars for him.
182
00:05:49,697 --> 00:05:50,957
Boy don't look like he's worth
a damn quarter to me.
183
00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:52,482
I'm just bein' honest.
- Camilo Campaneris?
184
00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:54,086
I've heard of this kid, man.
185
00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:55,526
This boy is a legend in Cuba.
186
00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:58,232
He's got like
115-mile-an-hour fastball.
187
00:05:58,270 --> 00:06:00,660
- If he's so good, then
why's he with Shake?
188
00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:01,928
Because he's not good.
189
00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:03,710
- Kev.
- Want me to prove it to you?
190
00:06:03,754 --> 00:06:05,844
- I just so happen to have
a glove and a ball.
191
00:06:05,887 --> 00:06:07,847
Ce-lo, heads up!
- What?
192
00:06:07,889 --> 00:06:09,149
- Watch out.
193
00:06:09,194 --> 00:06:10,814
- Kev, listen, I wouldn't do
that, if I were you.
194
00:06:10,848 --> 00:06:13,588
- First of all, you don't tell
me what to do or what not to do
195
00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:15,074
in my house, back-up Boris.
196
00:06:15,113 --> 00:06:18,163
What you need to do is stop
usin' Salli's razor 'cause
197
00:06:18,203 --> 00:06:19,603
you're startin' to get those
vagina bumps on the front of
198
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:20,640
your head.
199
00:06:20,684 --> 00:06:22,124
- Did you just call me
back-up Boris?
200
00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:23,644
- Carmilo, sí.
201
00:06:23,687 --> 00:06:25,037
- Tira la pelota con fuerza.
202
00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,040
- ¿Con fuerza?
203
00:06:26,081 --> 00:06:27,601
- DONDRE: Sí.
204
00:06:27,648 --> 00:06:29,558
- Oh, you ain't cookin' no
chitlins in my house.
205
00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:31,866
So you'd better go to your home
and cook that stinky [bleep].
206
00:06:31,913 --> 00:06:34,183
Hey, bring it. Wait.
207
00:06:34,219 --> 00:06:35,179
- ¿Listo?
208
00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:39,790
- Just throw the
damn ball, boy.
209
00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:41,714
[heavy thwack]
- OTHERS: Oh!
210
00:06:41,749 --> 00:06:43,189
- Damn!
211
00:06:47,058 --> 00:06:50,578
- Uh, Corn Flakes is
gonna make me a lotta money.
212
00:06:55,371 --> 00:06:56,851
- Come on, Gary, around
the block one more time, man.
213
00:06:56,894 --> 00:06:57,904
Be a pal.
214
00:06:57,939 --> 00:06:59,769
- No, I've gotta get
home to my wife.
215
00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:02,470
Listen, just go upstairs,
take a deep breath,
216
00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:03,899
and open the door.
217
00:07:03,945 --> 00:07:05,375
- No. I'm telling you.
218
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,725
I'ma go in there and the first
thing they're gonna say is
219
00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:11,905
"Where's my eggs, [bleep]?"
I'm telling you.
220
00:07:11,953 --> 00:07:12,953
You don't know what it's like.
221
00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:14,957
I gotta cook for her
and her sorors-
222
00:07:14,999 --> 00:07:16,089
I can't even say it.
223
00:07:16,131 --> 00:07:17,391
her sorority girls.
224
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:20,657
- Embrace the bossiness,
then flip it on 'em.
225
00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:23,831
Don't make her breakfast,
make her the breakfast.
226
00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:26,448
Don't make her pancakes,
make her mancakes.
227
00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,319
[laughing]
- Yeah, right.
228
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,150
- Then hit her with the
satin hummingbird.
229
00:07:30,188 --> 00:07:31,838
You know what a
hummingbird is, right?
230
00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:32,886
Flies real fast.
231
00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:34,240
- Right.
232
00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:36,849
- Now imagine that bird
on the tongue while it's
233
00:07:36,891 --> 00:07:40,371
touchin' your girl's nest.
234
00:07:40,416 --> 00:07:44,766
[lips wobbling]
Do it with me.
235
00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:49,032
- BOTH: [lips wobbling]
- [beat boxing]
236
00:07:49,077 --> 00:07:51,377
♪ Skiddlee dee do
237
00:07:51,427 --> 00:07:53,297
I'm gonna try it because
the hummingbird is my favorite
238
00:07:53,342 --> 00:07:56,822
animal and Gary's
just a nasty mother [bleep].
239
00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:01,126
Dondre, I'm telling you.
240
00:08:01,176 --> 00:08:02,346
Gary knows what the [bleep]
he's talking about.
241
00:08:02,394 --> 00:08:03,664
- What are you talkin' about?
242
00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:05,920
- Look, I wake up with nectar
all over my face,
243
00:08:05,963 --> 00:08:07,013
just like he said.
244
00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:08,441
- Nectar?
245
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:11,058
- Before I know it, my girl
and her sorors went crazy
246
00:08:11,099 --> 00:08:13,669
and just gave me a butt-naked
step show, partner.
247
00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:15,280
You know what the
[bleep] you doin'.
248
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,020
- [palm slap]
- [laughing]
249
00:08:17,061 --> 00:08:18,191
That hurt.
250
00:08:18,236 --> 00:08:19,586
I don't know much, but
I know Black women.
251
00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:21,109
It's a gift.
252
00:08:21,152 --> 00:08:22,682
- Hello!
253
00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:24,849
I'm gonna need your best bottle
of champagne for me.
254
00:08:24,895 --> 00:08:27,325
I'll need a glass of milk for
this guy right here 'cause
255
00:08:27,376 --> 00:08:29,986
tomorrow he'll be
playin' for the Dodgers.
256
00:08:30,031 --> 00:08:30,991
We are celebratin'.
257
00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:32,642
Yes.
258
00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:34,336
- Did you say Dodgers?
259
00:08:34,383 --> 00:08:36,953
I love football.
260
00:08:36,994 --> 00:08:38,954
- Ay, dios mío, coño.
261
00:08:38,996 --> 00:08:41,126
- Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, sweetie.
262
00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:43,002
It's way too soon in his
career for a White woman.
263
00:08:43,044 --> 00:08:44,924
Get your gold diggin'
ass outta here.
264
00:08:44,959 --> 00:08:46,479
Thank you. Turn it around.
265
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:49,216
He ain't even made
the damn team yet.
266
00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:50,437
- Oh. He hasn't made it yet?
267
00:08:50,486 --> 00:08:52,876
- Me gusta.
- No, ain't no "Me gusta."
268
00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:54,663
"Me gusta" your ass right here
and drink that milk.
269
00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:56,408
- Yo, Kev!
- Get your strength together.
270
00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:57,448
- What you doin'?
271
00:08:57,493 --> 00:08:59,413
- Hey-o. There they go.
272
00:08:59,451 --> 00:09:01,241
- Where's who?
- What's up?
273
00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:03,329
- You got a rock in your
shoe or something?
274
00:09:03,368 --> 00:09:05,368
- Okay, I don't know what that
walk was, but don't touch me
275
00:09:05,414 --> 00:09:06,634
while you do it.
276
00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:08,366
- Oh, stop-
- Where you been?
277
00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:09,977
We've been waitin' on you.
- For what?
278
00:09:10,027 --> 00:09:10,987
Why you waitin' on me?
279
00:09:11,028 --> 00:09:12,548
- Poker.
- What?
280
00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:14,285
Y'all didn't get
my text message?
281
00:09:14,336 --> 00:09:15,946
- You didn't send it to us.
- I sent y'all a text.
282
00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:17,510
I cancelled that.
- No, we didn't get it.
283
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,037
- Will you stop it, guys.
284
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:20,040
Y'all bein' ridiculous.
285
00:09:20,081 --> 00:09:21,391
I know when I sent a text.
286
00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:22,690
You tellin' me I ain't sent you
all no damn text.
287
00:09:22,736 --> 00:09:24,426
- [cell phones bleeping]
288
00:09:24,476 --> 00:09:25,906
- Really?
- What?
289
00:09:25,956 --> 00:09:27,386
- Like we didn't see you just
send that message.
290
00:09:27,436 --> 00:09:28,656
- You guys have a delay.
291
00:09:28,698 --> 00:09:29,738
- Kevin, listen-
- Yo, yo, Kev.
292
00:09:29,786 --> 00:09:31,476
What's the emergency, man?
Camilo okay?
293
00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:32,527
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
294
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,622
Our client is fine.
295
00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:34,790
Come here, I wanna talk to you.
296
00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:36,445
- Wait, wait, wait, what
do you mean our cli-
297
00:09:36,488 --> 00:09:37,928
- KEVIN: Listen-
298
00:09:37,968 --> 00:09:39,138
- Did you hurt your
Achilles or something?
299
00:09:39,187 --> 00:09:40,407
- No.
300
00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:41,449
- Why are you
walkin' like that?
301
00:09:41,493 --> 00:09:43,023
- 'Cause I have on slacks.
302
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:46,150
Listen, I know that he has
a rocket for an arm.
303
00:09:46,194 --> 00:09:47,334
- Yeah, I told you that.
304
00:09:47,369 --> 00:09:49,459
- Well, I didn't believe you.
305
00:09:49,501 --> 00:09:51,201
That meeting that you
have with Earvin?
306
00:09:51,242 --> 00:09:52,592
- Yeah.
- I want in.
307
00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:54,415
- We all want in.
- What? What?
308
00:09:54,463 --> 00:09:56,473
- Wait, we?
- This is a Shake down.
309
00:09:56,508 --> 00:09:59,208
- Oh, I shoulda said that.
310
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:01,040
- Who wouldn't wanna be
in a deal like this?
311
00:10:01,078 --> 00:10:03,168
But $50 grand a
head-that's nothing.
312
00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:04,521
This deal is a home run.
313
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:06,650
Now in the event that
it's only a base hit...
314
00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:09,043
[laughs]
I got my bases covered.
315
00:10:09,086 --> 00:10:11,256
I get paid either way.
316
00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:12,386
[cash register tings]
317
00:10:12,437 --> 00:10:13,697
- I want some of those slacks.
318
00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:21,749
- Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
319
00:10:21,795 --> 00:10:23,745
Slow down, Corona, all right?
320
00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:25,147
There's more.
321
00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:26,539
Well, I know what products
to get you endorse, huh?
322
00:10:26,582 --> 00:10:29,892
- Sí, sí, me gusta hot dog.
323
00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:31,763
- Look, I wanna
talk to you, man.
324
00:10:31,805 --> 00:10:34,195
So, I'ma ...ma Spanish-ize
this for you.
325
00:10:34,242 --> 00:10:36,292
Duane.
326
00:10:36,331 --> 00:10:38,771
Duane is no good, though,
for el-you-o.
327
00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:43,512
Which means, what you need is
el-me-o to come in so I can
328
00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:45,295
make you more money-o.
329
00:10:45,340 --> 00:10:46,470
- Oh, sí, sí.
330
00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:48,035
- Understand-o?
331
00:10:48,082 --> 00:10:50,482
- Me encanta,
me encanta mucho dólares.
332
00:10:50,519 --> 00:10:51,909
Me gustas, primo.
333
00:10:51,955 --> 00:10:53,775
Me recuerdas de Tyron
de Game of Thrones, ¿tú sabes?
334
00:10:53,827 --> 00:10:55,607
- I don't watch that. I don't.
335
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:56,605
But I get it, though.
336
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:57,786
If you watch it, I watch it.
337
00:10:57,831 --> 00:10:59,051
You know what?
338
00:10:59,093 --> 00:11:00,093
This is what I wanna do.
339
00:11:00,137 --> 00:11:01,567
Sign this piece
of paper for me.
340
00:11:01,617 --> 00:11:03,227
- ¿Firma?
341
00:11:03,271 --> 00:11:04,231
- Yeah. No.
342
00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:05,232
No, I don't play soccer.
343
00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:06,453
- Sí. Sí.
344
00:11:06,491 --> 00:11:09,411
- Look, here, sign this
right...right there.
345
00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:17,370
Hey! Hey! Hey, my friend.
346
00:11:17,415 --> 00:11:18,625
My friend.
347
00:11:21,028 --> 00:11:22,418
Stay here and eat 'em.
Get some more hot dogs.
348
00:11:22,464 --> 00:11:23,684
I'll figure it out.
349
00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:25,636
- Somebody tell you to
eat all of those meals.
350
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,555
- Come on.
- Don't set me apart.
351
00:11:27,599 --> 00:11:29,249
- Something terrible.
Whaddup?
352
00:11:29,297 --> 00:11:30,557
- You seen Gary?
353
00:11:30,602 --> 00:11:31,782
- Yeah, he, uh, he had
like a cramp in his tongue
354
00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:32,781
or something like that.
355
00:11:32,822 --> 00:11:34,002
He couldn't make it.
356
00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:35,431
- A what?
- Yeah, the same thing I said.
357
00:11:35,477 --> 00:11:37,347
I said, what?
- I know why.
358
00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:39,832
I did that stupid hummingbird
trick he was tellin' me.
359
00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:41,743
My girl's puttin' her flower in
my face every morning, noon,
360
00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:43,308
and night, man-it's stupid.
361
00:11:43,354 --> 00:11:45,274
- I tried to tell you not to do
that, but you don't listen.
362
00:11:45,313 --> 00:11:46,583
- You got, uh...
363
00:11:46,618 --> 00:11:48,398
You got a little situation
on your nose, Faizon.
364
00:11:48,446 --> 00:11:50,136
- DONDRE: The stuff I was
telling you about in the truck.
365
00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:51,447
- DONDRE & KEVIN: Oh!!
366
00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:52,843
- Now, man, no.
367
00:11:52,886 --> 00:11:54,666
- It's glazed donut, man.
368
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,634
I'ma kill that damn Gary.
369
00:11:56,672 --> 00:11:58,942
I almost blew a lip out
this morning.
370
00:11:58,979 --> 00:12:01,369
- Wait, how are you eatin'
a donut, Faizon?
371
00:12:01,416 --> 00:12:03,846
Are you-is it a
smash technique?
372
00:12:03,897 --> 00:12:04,847
What are you doin'?
373
00:12:04,898 --> 00:12:05,858
- You just find Gary.
374
00:12:05,899 --> 00:12:07,249
- Hey, I'm just the messenger.
375
00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:10,731
If you sisters agree with me-
keepthenappyhappy
376
00:12:10,773 --> 00:12:12,913
and let me know how you feel.
377
00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:13,989
[ding]
378
00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:15,387
- Hey, Kev, what
are we doin' here?
379
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:16,910
- Okay, look, this is what
Duane said it with me and
380
00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:18,043
Earvin Johnson at.
381
00:12:18,085 --> 00:12:19,865
- You mean "Magic?"
- There's only one
382
00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:21,743
Earvin Johnson, Faizon.
383
00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:23,264
Stop. Now keep up. Okay?
384
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:24,527
- Okay.
385
00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:26,269
Now I got y'all alone,
I wanna talk to y'all.
386
00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:27,180
I don't know about this whole
Canseco thing, man.
387
00:12:27,224 --> 00:12:28,274
- Camilo.
388
00:12:28,312 --> 00:12:29,272
- Canseco, yes.
389
00:12:29,313 --> 00:12:30,403
I'm not feelin' good about it.
390
00:12:30,445 --> 00:12:32,315
I'm really havin'
second thoughts, man.
391
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:33,670
- Why?
392
00:12:33,709 --> 00:12:34,709
- I feel like Duane might
be up to his old tricks.
393
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:35,894
- What?
394
00:12:35,929 --> 00:12:37,579
- Like a Ponzi scheme or
something like that?
395
00:12:37,626 --> 00:12:39,536
- Why...why would Duane
have a top prospect?
396
00:12:39,584 --> 00:12:40,544
- He's an agent.
397
00:12:40,585 --> 00:12:41,625
- Stop it.
398
00:12:41,673 --> 00:12:43,503
He can't even marry
a top prospect.
399
00:12:43,545 --> 00:12:44,495
- He's got a point.
400
00:12:44,546 --> 00:12:45,716
- Okay, both of you stop.
401
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,195
Tisha's a beautiful person.
402
00:12:47,244 --> 00:12:50,164
- Agh. Mmm ......
403
00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:51,164
- Okay.
404
00:12:51,205 --> 00:12:52,335
- If you Tisha, speak to me.
405
00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:53,340
Unh...
406
00:12:53,381 --> 00:12:54,341
- What's your point?
407
00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:55,912
- Here's the thing.
408
00:12:55,949 --> 00:12:58,469
I don't want you guys gettin'
caught up in a bunch of mess.
409
00:12:58,516 --> 00:13:00,686
Right now, I'm in a position
where I can get y'all out of
410
00:13:00,736 --> 00:13:01,736
a mess.
411
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,001
- Hm?
412
00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:04,613
- Yeah, right now my
career is going great.
413
00:13:04,653 --> 00:13:05,613
You guys know that.
414
00:13:05,654 --> 00:13:06,614
I got money comin' in.
415
00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:07,605
It's like tons of it.
416
00:13:07,656 --> 00:13:08,696
- All right, man.
417
00:13:08,744 --> 00:13:10,224
- People are dumpin'
off bags of money.
418
00:13:10,267 --> 00:13:11,617
- Kevin-
- Money. Money.
419
00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:13,310
I just keep gettin'-
- We get the money.
420
00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:14,787
How...how are you
gonna take care of us?
421
00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:16,317
How are you gonna relieve us?
422
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:17,710
- Well, what I wanna do for
you guys is basically I have
423
00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:19,623
these two checks, right?
424
00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:21,058
What I wanna do.
425
00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:22,714
The money that you guys are
investing, I wanna give it
426
00:13:22,758 --> 00:13:23,718
to you now.
427
00:13:23,759 --> 00:13:24,719
Give you guys a way out.
428
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,240
Gary took his. Gary was smart.
429
00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:27,423
He said, "You know what, Kev?
430
00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:28,418
"I don't need to take the risk.
431
00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:29,979
I gotta take care of my woman-"
432
00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:31,286
- No, no, no, no, no,
hold on, hold on.
433
00:13:31,332 --> 00:13:32,902
- I got these
hair-brained kids.
434
00:13:32,942 --> 00:13:34,252
- Hold it, hold it.
- Deal.
435
00:13:34,291 --> 00:13:35,291
- No, no, no deal, Faizon.
436
00:13:35,336 --> 00:13:36,726
No, no, no, no, no, no.
- What?
437
00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:38,172
- No, we don't want a deal.
438
00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:39,248
You think...when did you get
generous all of a sudden?
439
00:13:39,296 --> 00:13:40,686
- What are you talking about?
440
00:13:40,732 --> 00:13:42,082
- Why are you so generous?
- I've always been generous.
441
00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:43,255
- The only person you ever
cared about is Kevin Hart.
442
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:44,260
- That's not true.
443
00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:45,961
- Right!
444
00:13:45,999 --> 00:13:46,699
You're tryin' to get us to sell
out before we meet Magic Johnson
445
00:13:46,738 --> 00:13:49,258
and make millions?
446
00:13:49,306 --> 00:13:50,476
- [bleep].
447
00:13:50,525 --> 00:13:52,085
Okay, that's not-
- Fellas, I found Earvin.
448
00:13:52,135 --> 00:13:53,135
- Hello, mitches.
449
00:13:56,531 --> 00:13:57,751
- Gimme that.
- Wait! Wait!
450
00:13:57,793 --> 00:13:59,623
- I'm gone!
- Wait a minute. Wait. Faizon!
451
00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:02,064
Dondre! Don't spend that!
452
00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:05,535
- It's so nice to meet you.
453
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:07,673
You're very funny.
- Hey, you know what?
454
00:14:07,716 --> 00:14:08,716
Duane is funny, too, because he
had me thinking I was coming
455
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:09,720
here to meet your dad.
456
00:14:09,761 --> 00:14:10,631
- No, no, no, I did not.
457
00:14:10,675 --> 00:14:12,715
I said Earvin Johnson.
458
00:14:12,764 --> 00:14:13,774
This is Earvin Johnson.
459
00:14:13,809 --> 00:14:14,979
- It's not the same thing!
460
00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:16,028
You know what?
461
00:14:16,072 --> 00:14:17,682
What the [bleep] cameras
doin' here?
462
00:14:17,726 --> 00:14:19,206
- They're filming my show.
463
00:14:19,249 --> 00:14:21,339
Where is this phenom you've
been raving about?
464
00:14:21,382 --> 00:14:23,122
- Okay, I-
- Stop!
465
00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:24,686
We're not gonna waste any time
here.
466
00:14:24,733 --> 00:14:26,523
What I want you to do is call
your dad and tell your dad to
467
00:14:26,561 --> 00:14:28,351
get down here so I can meet him,
'cause we're here
468
00:14:28,389 --> 00:14:29,689
to talk baseball.
469
00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:32,348
- Listen, sweetie, don't let
this Firkin fool you.
470
00:14:32,393 --> 00:14:34,573
I know everything about
baseball.
471
00:14:34,612 --> 00:14:36,572
- Let's just put that little
knowledge of yours to the test,
472
00:14:36,614 --> 00:14:37,574
why don't we?
473
00:14:37,615 --> 00:14:38,965
- Please.
474
00:14:39,008 --> 00:14:40,438
- Who had the most strike ups
in the major leagues?
475
00:14:40,488 --> 00:14:43,448
- I think you mean "strike
outs" and it was Tom Cheney,
476
00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:46,061
Washington Senators, 1962.
477
00:14:46,102 --> 00:14:47,542
Check that.
[snapping fingers]
478
00:14:47,582 --> 00:14:48,712
- Well, what I'm
gonna check is you
479
00:14:48,757 --> 00:14:50,407
because that's your
first strike out.
480
00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:52,464
The answer is Michael Jordan.
481
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:53,500
Let's just continue the test.
482
00:14:53,544 --> 00:14:55,854
- So, where is this young man?
483
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,375
- Oh, y'all, Camilo.
484
00:14:59,855 --> 00:15:01,335
- Hola, primos.
485
00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:03,598
[regurgitating, belching]
- Oh, God...
486
00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:05,431
- Camilo Campaneris.
487
00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:07,819
[regurgitating, belching]
488
00:15:07,863 --> 00:15:09,873
- Oh, did he just say
Camilo Campaneris?
489
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,779
I've been following his
fastballs for the past
490
00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:13,223
two years.
491
00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:15,390
Yes, this is the one I've been
telling you about, Dad.
492
00:15:15,436 --> 00:15:17,086
Mm-hm.
493
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:18,793
Okay, hold on.
494
00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:21,790
So, he wants to offer him
a deal-sight unseen.
495
00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:23,713
Six years, $30 million.
496
00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:25,528
- Yes! Sounds good.
497
00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:28,486
- Tell your dad he can take
that $30 million and go buy
498
00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:30,446
a team that's actually gonna
make the playoffs.
499
00:15:30,494 --> 00:15:32,024
- Excuse me?
500
00:15:32,061 --> 00:15:33,541
- Tell your dad we're gonna
need $300 million, ain't that
501
00:15:33,584 --> 00:15:34,594
right, Duane?
502
00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:35,799
- That's ridiculous.
503
00:15:35,847 --> 00:15:38,497
- $300 million! What?
504
00:15:38,546 --> 00:15:40,766
- They want $300 million.
505
00:15:40,809 --> 00:15:41,939
- I'll tell you what I'm doin'.
506
00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:43,684
I'm doin' what you
shoulda been doin'.
507
00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:45,115
I'm playin' hardball.
508
00:15:45,161 --> 00:15:50,651
- Okay, I can't even believe
this, but you have a deal.
509
00:15:50,688 --> 00:15:51,908
- What?
510
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,131
- Yeah! He said we got a deal!
511
00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:58,130
- BOTH: [laughing]
- Yeah!
512
00:15:58,174 --> 00:16:00,134
- But my dad wants
to see him pitch.
513
00:16:00,176 --> 00:16:01,866
- All right.
- Yeah. That...that's fair.
514
00:16:01,917 --> 00:16:04,527
- After I see him pitch.
515
00:16:04,572 --> 00:16:06,362
- Hold, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
516
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,100
But...but you've already seen
him pitch.
517
00:16:08,141 --> 00:16:09,661
You've been watchin' him for
the last two years.
518
00:16:09,707 --> 00:16:12,147
- That's true, but this was
all before I discovered
519
00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:14,578
that Kevin is an
asshole with no taste.
520
00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:16,405
Dondre, you used to play.
521
00:16:16,453 --> 00:16:17,453
Do you mind catching?
522
00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:18,798
- No, I...I guess I could-
523
00:16:18,847 --> 00:16:19,937
- Dondre, why hesitate?
524
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,759
Why not show us why
you never made it.
525
00:16:21,806 --> 00:16:23,326
- Oh, shut up.
526
00:16:23,373 --> 00:16:25,383
- Now, Camilo, this is what
we've been talking about, okay?
527
00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:27,199
- Okay.
- Now this is for the money.
528
00:16:27,247 --> 00:16:29,157
Now if you can throw the ball
the way that I know you can
529
00:16:29,205 --> 00:16:31,205
throw the ball, we're
about to get paid.
530
00:16:31,251 --> 00:16:32,861
- Correction, "we"
are about to get paid.
531
00:16:32,904 --> 00:16:34,174
- Kevin, what are
you talking about?
532
00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:35,260
- What are you talking about?
533
00:16:35,298 --> 00:16:37,038
- What are you talking about?
- Nothing.
534
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:38,613
- Why are you talking
to my client?
535
00:16:38,649 --> 00:16:40,039
- Your client, my client,
it doesn't matter.
536
00:16:40,086 --> 00:16:41,606
He's somebody's client.
- Hm? Hm?
537
00:16:41,652 --> 00:16:42,612
- All right, let's go.
538
00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:43,793
- El niño pesos. You and me.
539
00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:44,828
- Let's go.
540
00:16:44,873 --> 00:16:46,443
- Dolor de estomago.
541
00:16:46,483 --> 00:16:47,573
- You're mine.
542
00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:49,395
- Dolor de estomago.
543
00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:54,062
- Okay, let's see what you got.
544
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,880
- Hey, star killer.
545
00:16:55,927 --> 00:16:57,627
- You're warmed up.
You're warmed up.
546
00:16:57,668 --> 00:16:59,888
- KEVIN: "Arribe", Iglesias.
547
00:16:59,931 --> 00:17:01,591
- DUANE: Let's go, Camilo!
548
00:17:01,629 --> 00:17:02,979
You got this one.
You got this one.
549
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,682
You're nice and warmed up.
550
00:17:04,719 --> 00:17:07,499
- [heavy thwack]
- Oh!
551
00:17:07,548 --> 00:17:09,028
- You all right, baby?
552
00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:10,201
- DUANE: You nice and
warmed up.
553
00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:11,196
You got it.
You got it.
554
00:17:11,247 --> 00:17:13,077
- Make up for it with this one.
555
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:15,509
- DUANE: You're nice
and warmed up.
556
00:17:15,556 --> 00:17:17,506
[baseball thuds car]
[car alarm blaring]
557
00:17:17,558 --> 00:17:20,948
- You just hit my [bleep]
car, mother [bleep]!
558
00:17:20,996 --> 00:17:22,646
I know how I can handle this.
559
00:17:22,693 --> 00:17:24,093
- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
560
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,090
- CAMILO: [vomiting]
- Is this a joke?
561
00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:27,092
He's terrible.
562
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:28,573
- He was better. I...
563
00:17:28,612 --> 00:17:31,922
- Kevin, cashiers'.
564
00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:33,663
Look, you're right again.
565
00:17:33,704 --> 00:17:36,584
- Yeah, you are a friend.
566
00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:39,010
- FAIZON: [laughing]
Come on now.
567
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,578
Come on, let's get outta here.
568
00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:43,015
- It's just money.
569
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:45,022
- EJ? EJ, listen, listen...
570
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,244
You know, why don't you go on
and give your dad a call and
571
00:17:47,283 --> 00:17:49,023
tell him I'll take that
$30 million.
572
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:49,808
- Go [bleep] yourself.
573
00:17:49,851 --> 00:17:51,421
- I'm sorry?
574
00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:55,121
Okay, EJ, EJ, look, reach in the
cheap-ass bag that you've been
575
00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:57,731
carryin' all day, take the phone
out, call your dad, and tell him
576
00:17:57,772 --> 00:17:58,902
that we've got a deal.
577
00:17:58,947 --> 00:18:00,167
- I am sick of your [bleep].
578
00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:04,779
[heavy thud]
- Asshole!
579
00:18:04,822 --> 00:18:06,562
I should have known getting
involved with Kevin Hart was
580
00:18:06,607 --> 00:18:07,907
gonna be a mistake.
581
00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:09,826
And for the record, Kevin,
this bag costs more than
582
00:18:09,871 --> 00:18:10,961
your house.
583
00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:12,572
Trust.
584
00:18:12,613 --> 00:18:15,793
- Primo! Primo! Okay?
585
00:18:15,833 --> 00:18:18,053
- Hey, Camero, do you remember
that bazillion dollar deal
586
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:18,787
I said I was gonna get you?
587
00:18:18,836 --> 00:18:20,096
- Sí.
588
00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:21,712
- Yeah, well, you can "Sí"
your way back to Cuba.
589
00:18:21,752 --> 00:18:23,322
- No.
590
00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:25,023
- You and that strong-ass arm
can swim your way right on back.
591
00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:26,540
I'm finished with you, man.
592
00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:29,673
Get your Mario Lopez-Van Peebles
lookin' ass on outta here.
593
00:18:29,717 --> 00:18:30,717
Go! I'm done!
594
00:18:30,761 --> 00:18:32,331
Go! Get outta here!
595
00:18:32,372 --> 00:18:34,902
- MALE ANNOUNCER: Starting tonight for the Dodgers is
596
00:18:34,939 --> 00:18:37,769
the rookie Cuban sensation with the bazillion dollar arm,
597
00:18:37,812 --> 00:18:39,072
Camilo Campaneris.
598
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,468
- What?!
599
00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:42,820
- Discovered by EJ Johnson in the parking lot of
600
00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:45,170
Chuck Bliss, Camilo signed the largest Dodger rookie
601
00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:48,691
contract ever-ten years, $300 million.
602
00:18:48,736 --> 00:18:51,036
- I did that!
That was my deal!
603
00:18:51,086 --> 00:18:53,996
- And to think the Dodgers
almost lost out on the phenom
604
00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:57,435
due to, get this, food poisoning caused by eating too many
605
00:18:57,484 --> 00:19:00,704
hot dogs-which ruined his initial try-out.
606
00:19:00,748 --> 00:19:03,138
I guess they don't have hot dogs in Cuba.
607
00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:04,835
- Actually, I'm not Cuban.
608
00:19:04,882 --> 00:19:05,932
I'm from East LA.
609
00:19:05,970 --> 00:19:07,060
I went to Garfield High.
610
00:19:07,102 --> 00:19:08,582
Go, Bulldogs! Woof!
611
00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:12,055
I figured my best chances of
making it to the league was to
612
00:19:12,107 --> 00:19:13,717
defect to Cuba and then defect
back to the States.
613
00:19:13,761 --> 00:19:14,761
What can I say?
614
00:19:14,805 --> 00:19:15,805
It's a defective system.
615
00:19:15,850 --> 00:19:16,850
Hot dog, anybody?
616
00:19:28,906 --> 00:19:33,866
♪
44394
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