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1
00:00:13,665 --> 00:00:16,145
♪
2
00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:17,060
- KEVIN: Yo, stop
holding up the game.
3
00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:17,934
Where's the action, man?
4
00:00:17,974 --> 00:00:18,934
Check or bet, Duane.
5
00:00:18,975 --> 00:00:20,145
[doorbell rings]
6
00:00:20,194 --> 00:00:21,464
- I'm in.
- Is that the door?
7
00:00:21,499 --> 00:00:22,019
- Yeah, that's the door.
- Wait, watch Faizon.
8
00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:23,105
Don't cheat.
9
00:00:23,153 --> 00:00:24,553
- Okay, I'm watching.
- Watch him.
10
00:00:24,589 --> 00:00:26,679
- Why you call me out?
- 'Cause you got fat hands.
11
00:00:28,637 --> 00:00:29,637
You're late, snack boy.
12
00:00:29,681 --> 00:00:30,641
- Snack man.
13
00:00:30,682 --> 00:00:31,642
- Call it what you want.
14
00:00:31,683 --> 00:00:32,643
- Hey, fellas.
15
00:00:32,684 --> 00:00:33,644
- Wayne!
- What up, Wayne?
16
00:00:33,685 --> 00:00:35,075
What up, what up?
17
00:00:35,122 --> 00:00:36,472
- I'm sorry I'm late, man.
My table read ran long.
18
00:00:36,514 --> 00:00:37,734
- You have a table read for
"Let's Make a Deal"?
19
00:00:37,776 --> 00:00:40,476
I thought you just said,
"Let's make a deal."
20
00:00:40,518 --> 00:00:42,128
- [laughs]
- Why is he here?
21
00:00:42,172 --> 00:00:43,132
Where's Boris?
22
00:00:43,173 --> 00:00:44,133
- Boris had to watch the kids.
23
00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:45,574
You know Nicole don't play that.
24
00:00:45,610 --> 00:00:47,480
So we needed a fish,
told Faizon to come.
25
00:00:47,525 --> 00:00:50,435
- Speaking of fish,
look who showed up?
26
00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:54,225
Moby Dick, mother [bleep].
27
00:00:54,271 --> 00:00:55,581
- See what happens,
Wayne, when you late?
28
00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:57,540
The whole mojo
table just goes off.
29
00:00:57,579 --> 00:00:59,099
- Now, listen, man,
how you doing, man?
30
00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:00,536
- What up, what up, what up?
31
00:01:00,582 --> 00:01:02,062
- What was the table read for?
32
00:01:02,105 --> 00:01:04,925
- This new movie I'm doing
called "Fast Black is Back"
33
00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:05,887
with Morgan Freeman.
34
00:01:05,935 --> 00:01:07,065
- Oh, yeah, from
back in the day.
35
00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:08,160
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
36
00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:09,418
I read for that.
37
00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:10,290
- They want me to play
the brother for that.
38
00:01:10,331 --> 00:01:11,771
- Which brother?
Fat black?
39
00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:13,510
[laughing]
Ah!
40
00:01:13,551 --> 00:01:15,251
- Oh, damn!
41
00:01:15,292 --> 00:01:17,082
♪ This is the life
This is the life ♪
42
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:19,080
♪ We've got the life
We've got the life ♪
43
00:01:19,122 --> 00:01:21,432
♪ This is the city
Where we party every night ♪
44
00:01:21,472 --> 00:01:24,612
♪ Party every night
Just you and me ♪
45
00:01:24,649 --> 00:01:27,609
♪ Down and to go
Welcome to Hollywood ♪
46
00:01:27,652 --> 00:01:30,702
♪ Welcome to Hollywood
Welcome to Hollywood ♪
47
00:01:30,742 --> 00:01:34,362
♪
48
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:35,698
- Yo, they wanted me to
read for the brother, too,
49
00:01:35,747 --> 00:01:37,137
but I passed.
50
00:01:37,184 --> 00:01:38,714
- I'm playing the grandson.
51
00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:40,230
- But the grandson is like 30.
52
00:01:40,274 --> 00:01:41,544
- And you were born
in the '30s.
53
00:01:41,579 --> 00:01:43,449
- [laughing]
54
00:01:43,494 --> 00:01:44,934
- I used to be
just like you all.
55
00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:47,894
I used to be at home feeling
miserable and bad myself.
56
00:01:47,933 --> 00:01:50,553
And now, I book everything
they don't give to Kevin.
57
00:01:50,588 --> 00:01:52,018
- That's impossible,
because I don't leave
58
00:01:52,068 --> 00:01:53,028
no jobs on the table.
59
00:01:53,069 --> 00:01:54,029
- You got a new agent?
60
00:01:54,070 --> 00:01:55,030
What are you saying?
61
00:01:55,071 --> 00:01:56,461
You're talking a lot of [bleep].
62
00:01:56,507 --> 00:01:58,727
- Not a new agent,
a new age, gents.
63
00:01:58,770 --> 00:01:59,950
- What?
64
00:01:59,989 --> 00:02:01,379
You get plastic surgery
or something?
65
00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:02,505
- He didn't get no
damn plastic surgery.
66
00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:03,557
He looks exactly the same.
67
00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:04,601
- Do I?
68
00:02:04,646 --> 00:02:05,856
- Yes.
- Do I?
69
00:02:05,908 --> 00:02:07,168
- What, I'm looking-
- Do I?
70
00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:08,224
- First of all, don't
look at me like that.
71
00:02:08,258 --> 00:02:09,218
- Hold on, hold on, hold on.
72
00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:12,129
Let me-let me see.
73
00:02:12,175 --> 00:02:13,175
- KEVIN: What you see, Faizon?
74
00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:18,010
- This [bleep] smooth.
75
00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:20,100
- Yo, it's like a dolphin.
76
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,230
- I'm not touching it.
77
00:02:21,271 --> 00:02:22,931
- Wait, what you-what
you have done?
78
00:02:22,968 --> 00:02:24,448
- Nothing much, man.
79
00:02:24,492 --> 00:02:27,802
You know, just some Botox,
chemical peal, dermabrasion.
80
00:02:27,843 --> 00:02:29,893
You know, Duane,
you could use that.
81
00:02:29,932 --> 00:02:31,542
You got about ten layers of
rusty Negro covering up your
82
00:02:31,586 --> 00:02:32,586
inner beauty.
83
00:02:32,630 --> 00:02:33,810
- Listen, listen.
84
00:02:33,849 --> 00:02:34,589
The last thing that I
need is some work.
85
00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:35,592
- That's right.
86
00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:36,593
Teesha does all that for you.
87
00:02:36,634 --> 00:02:37,684
- Well, you know what they say.
88
00:02:37,722 --> 00:02:39,332
If she ain't broke,
don't fix it.
89
00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:41,116
- Hey, hey, that's
a way to come out.
90
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,641
Hey, that's a way to come back.
91
00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:45,034
- Speaking of facelifts,
Hollywood Boulevard is about to
92
00:02:45,077 --> 00:02:46,297
get a facelift.
93
00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:48,990
Getting a star on the
Walk of Fame, baby.
94
00:02:49,038 --> 00:02:50,608
Word!
Southeast.
95
00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:51,608
Ugh!
96
00:02:51,649 --> 00:02:52,609
- Congratulations, brother.
97
00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:53,520
I gotta give that to you.
98
00:02:53,564 --> 00:02:54,614
- Good job, man.
99
00:02:54,652 --> 00:02:55,962
- No.
100
00:02:56,001 --> 00:02:57,001
No, I will not.
101
00:02:57,046 --> 00:02:57,826
Why is he getting a star?
102
00:02:57,873 --> 00:02:59,093
- Two decades.
103
00:02:59,135 --> 00:03:00,695
- Two decades of what?
104
00:03:00,745 --> 00:03:02,005
Just because he hosts a show and
tells people they got talent
105
00:03:02,051 --> 00:03:03,571
doesn't mean he has any.
106
00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:04,878
- Oh, come on.
107
00:03:04,923 --> 00:03:07,063
- Kick him again.
- No, don't you-no, stop it!
108
00:03:07,099 --> 00:03:08,799
How in the hell does Nick get
a star on the Walk of Fame
109
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:09,840
before me?
110
00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:11,185
I'll tell you what
he should get.
111
00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:13,634
A mop to clean up his act.
112
00:03:13,671 --> 00:03:14,631
You saw the special.
113
00:03:14,672 --> 00:03:15,982
It was dirty.
114
00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:18,461
♪
115
00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:21,640
- Hey, you wanna
explain to me how
116
00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:23,249
in the hell Nick got a
star on the Walk of Fame?
117
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,120
- Well, he technically
hasn't gotten the star yet.
118
00:03:25,161 --> 00:03:26,291
His fan club has just
nominated him for it.
119
00:03:26,336 --> 00:03:27,286
- That's impossible.
120
00:03:27,337 --> 00:03:29,117
Nick doesn't have a fan club.
121
00:03:29,165 --> 00:03:30,645
He's divorcing the only
fan that he had left.
122
00:03:30,688 --> 00:03:31,908
- I'm pretty sure
he has a fan club.
123
00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:32,910
I set it up for him.
124
00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:34,561
- You set it up for him,
Trina?
125
00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:35,735
- That's what I do?
126
00:03:35,780 --> 00:03:36,830
- Do I not get your biggest
star star?
127
00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:38,348
Me, huh?
128
00:03:38,392 --> 00:03:40,832
- [chuckles] My biggest star is
the Wolf of Wall Street.
129
00:03:40,872 --> 00:03:42,742
- So now you represent animals.
130
00:03:42,787 --> 00:03:45,177
I don't even-I'm lost for words
right now.
131
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,695
- Kevin, they only give out ten
stars a year.
132
00:03:46,748 --> 00:03:48,658
And they're giving the last one
to Nick.
133
00:03:48,706 --> 00:03:49,926
So I don't even understand the
point of having this
134
00:03:49,968 --> 00:03:51,098
conversation.
135
00:03:51,143 --> 00:03:53,063
- The point is-you
don't get me a star-
136
00:03:53,102 --> 00:03:54,232
- Mm-hmm.
137
00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:55,667
- you're gonna lose a star.
138
00:03:55,713 --> 00:03:57,283
- [chuckles] I'd be losing a
star who doesn't pay me,
139
00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:59,804
so it's been a pleasure
working with you.
140
00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:01,068
- You know what?
141
00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:02,980
You must think I'm stupid.
142
00:04:03,025 --> 00:04:04,935
Where else am I gonna
find legal advice for free?
143
00:04:04,983 --> 00:04:05,943
- It's not free.
144
00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:06,944
- It is free.
145
00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:08,375
- No, it isn't free, actually.
146
00:04:08,422 --> 00:04:09,732
There is a charge associated
with the services that
147
00:04:09,771 --> 00:04:10,731
I provide!
148
00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:11,862
You've just never paid for them.
149
00:04:11,903 --> 00:04:12,733
- There's not,
and you know it's not.
150
00:04:12,774 --> 00:04:14,434
So let's just stop.
151
00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:16,341
Bottom line, you think that I'm
gonna let Nick Cannon outshine
152
00:04:16,386 --> 00:04:17,776
me, you got
another thing coming.
153
00:04:17,822 --> 00:04:19,612
I'm gonna go get me a damn star.
154
00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:20,830
- Okay.
155
00:04:20,869 --> 00:04:23,919
- So I'll see you on
Hollywood Boulevard.
156
00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:26,959
And thank you for
another free session.
157
00:04:27,005 --> 00:04:28,135
- What's new?
158
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:31,840
♪
159
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:32,840
- All right.
160
00:04:32,881 --> 00:04:34,801
- [clapping]
161
00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:35,799
- I call to order the
Kevin Hart fan club.
162
00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:37,800
Everybody present say I.
163
00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:39,372
- BOTH: I.
164
00:04:39,409 --> 00:04:40,799
- KEVIN: Coleman?
165
00:04:40,845 --> 00:04:41,845
Are you here?
166
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:42,850
- I, sir.
167
00:04:42,891 --> 00:04:44,501
- Thank you.
168
00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:46,805
First order of business on the
agenda is getting me a star on
169
00:04:46,851 --> 00:04:48,031
the Walk of Fame.
170
00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,330
Jackie, tell me what it is I
need to do.
171
00:04:49,376 --> 00:04:51,376
- First you need that
$30,000 application fee.
172
00:04:51,421 --> 00:04:53,641
- Stop you right there,
because I got that.
173
00:04:53,684 --> 00:04:55,254
- You got that?
- Yes, I do.
174
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,855
It's 10, 20, 30.
175
00:04:56,905 --> 00:04:58,115
- Give me it.
176
00:04:58,167 --> 00:04:59,727
- What are you doing?
- Okay.
177
00:04:59,777 --> 00:05:01,687
Then next you need a letter
stating why you want the star
178
00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:02,906
and making sure you show
up to the ceremony.
179
00:05:02,954 --> 00:05:04,174
That's all.
180
00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:05,436
- Coleman?
- Sir.
181
00:05:05,479 --> 00:05:06,259
- Did you type of that
letter that I wrote?
182
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,566
- I have, sir.
183
00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:10,831
Are you sure you want to
send this letter, sir?
184
00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:12,085
It reeks of plagiarism.
185
00:05:12,137 --> 00:05:13,747
- Oh, now, hold on.
186
00:05:13,791 --> 00:05:15,881
You tell me how I got a disease,
because I had a condom on when
187
00:05:15,924 --> 00:05:17,804
I wrote it.
188
00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:18,799
Coleman, read the letter.
189
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:19,880
Let me hear it.
190
00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:21,968
- "To whom it may concern.
191
00:05:22,017 --> 00:05:25,017
"Four score and
seven years ago."
192
00:05:25,063 --> 00:05:26,413
- Mm-hmm, I like that.
193
00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:27,976
- "I had a dream."
194
00:05:28,023 --> 00:05:28,983
- Oooh!
195
00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:29,984
Stop right there.
196
00:05:30,025 --> 00:05:31,235
I don't need to hear no more.
197
00:05:31,287 --> 00:05:32,897
I'm gonna [bleep] up with that.
198
00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:35,071
Hey, one of the best
writers in the world.
199
00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:36,987
- What can I say?
200
00:05:37,032 --> 00:05:38,732
It's a living.
201
00:05:38,773 --> 00:05:41,083
- For once, I am
going to beat Nick.
202
00:05:41,123 --> 00:05:42,783
I'm depending on you to deliver
this $30,000 along with my
203
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:44,780
application down to the
Walk of Fame committee.
204
00:05:44,822 --> 00:05:46,132
- I got you.
- You got it?
205
00:05:46,171 --> 00:05:47,261
- A'ight, I got you.
Don't worry about nothing.
206
00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:48,443
Can I use the Jag?
207
00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:50,308
- Jackie, I'm giving you
$30,000's trust.
208
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,870
Not $130,000's trust, okay?
209
00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:54,267
You're looking at
about $40,000 difference.
210
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:55,960
Am I right?
- Yeah.
211
00:05:56,007 --> 00:05:56,967
[laughs]
212
00:05:57,008 --> 00:05:57,968
- KEVIN: It's all right, man.
213
00:05:58,009 --> 00:05:59,179
Go ahead.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
214
00:05:59,228 --> 00:06:00,188
- What's up?
215
00:06:00,229 --> 00:06:01,839
- There's $20.
216
00:06:01,883 --> 00:06:03,063
You're gonna be doing
a lot of walking.
217
00:06:03,101 --> 00:06:04,801
I want you to go get
some arch supports.
218
00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:06,152
You got something
on your nose, man.
219
00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:07,061
- What's on my nose?
- The door.
220
00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:08,055
See ya later.
221
00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:09,366
♪
222
00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:17,810
at an audition with
Danny Glover, James L. Jones,
223
00:06:17,855 --> 00:06:20,945
and Sir Mix-A-Lot, we
decided to take Wayne's advice.
224
00:06:20,989 --> 00:06:23,029
- So how did you guys
find out about us?
225
00:06:23,078 --> 00:06:24,378
The couple's Groupon?
226
00:06:24,427 --> 00:06:28,207
- Uh, yeah, yes, that and,
uh, Wayne Brady.
227
00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:30,347
- Oh, Wayne, of course.
228
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,170
What do you guys
wanna have done?
229
00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:34,997
- Well, maybe I should go
because I have the least to do.
230
00:06:35,046 --> 00:06:36,126
- Oh, okay, cool, yeah.
231
00:06:36,178 --> 00:06:37,658
- Look, I'm going to
Cabo next week.
232
00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:38,791
I wanna be beach ready, okay?
233
00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:40,443
So I was thinking
a couple of abs.
234
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:42,487
I don't need all six.
235
00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:44,712
Maybe just three or four.
236
00:06:44,752 --> 00:06:47,022
- That's a little unrealistic.
237
00:06:47,058 --> 00:06:48,188
- Two?
238
00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:49,283
- Okay, uh...
239
00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:50,631
- Listen.
240
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:52,541
We don't know what we want.
241
00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:54,236
Okay?
242
00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:56,153
But we're-we're trying to make
a decision, and we really wanna
243
00:06:56,198 --> 00:06:58,978
know what-what can you do here?
244
00:06:59,027 --> 00:07:02,467
- We can do just about anything
from a skin peel to Botox
245
00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:06,639
to augmentation to total
molecular rejuvenation.
246
00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:08,647
- I don't wanna be messing
with my molecules,
247
00:07:08,689 --> 00:07:10,169
because I'm lactose intolerant.
248
00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:11,472
- Um, let-let me show you.
249
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:14,128
It's a simple procedure.
250
00:07:14,172 --> 00:07:15,652
- FAIZON: No [bleep] oh.
- DOCTOR: Uh-huh.
251
00:07:15,696 --> 00:07:17,306
- Whoa!
252
00:07:17,349 --> 00:07:19,049
- DOCTOR: A little of that.
- Oh, snap.
253
00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:20,400
- Yes!
254
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,570
That's what I'm talking about.
255
00:07:21,615 --> 00:07:22,565
- Wow.
256
00:07:22,616 --> 00:07:23,566
- Get that ghetto love.
257
00:07:23,617 --> 00:07:24,567
You know what I'm saying?
258
00:07:24,618 --> 00:07:26,048
- Okay, okay, listen here.
259
00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:27,057
Look here, doc.
260
00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:29,058
Uh, we don't need all of that.
261
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:30,450
- FAIZON: Well-
262
00:07:30,493 --> 00:07:33,063
- What we want is-we
want what you did for Wayne.
263
00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:34,454
- Oh.
- Yes.
264
00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:36,187
- And we don't wanna be
different, we just wanna
265
00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:37,328
look better.
266
00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:38,459
You know what I mean?
- Yeah, fancy.
267
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:40,941
♪
268
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:45,164
[doorbell rings]
269
00:07:45,203 --> 00:07:46,423
- Coming.
270
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:47,416
- NICK: Open the damn door.
271
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,417
- Who is that?
272
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,598
Nick?
273
00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:51,043
I don't have the time, Nick.
274
00:07:51,079 --> 00:07:53,519
I'm in here writing my
acceptance speech right now.
275
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,610
- Look, it's why I came over
here, man.
276
00:07:55,649 --> 00:07:57,429
Trina told me that you got
stars in your eyes.
277
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,647
Why does everything gotta be a
competition with us, man?
278
00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:01,216
- Wh-wh-wh-wh.
279
00:08:01,263 --> 00:08:02,483
Competition?
280
00:08:02,525 --> 00:08:04,005
What are you saying competition
for, Nick?
281
00:08:04,048 --> 00:08:06,048
When you use words like
competition, it makes me think
282
00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:07,404
that you think we're on
the same level.
283
00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:08,583
We're not.
284
00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:11,228
Okay?
Here's me.
285
00:08:11,273 --> 00:08:12,583
Boop, I'm in a penthouse.
286
00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:13,582
I'm way up here, okay?
287
00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:14,673
- That's where you're at?
288
00:08:14,711 --> 00:08:15,581
- Let me show
you where you are.
289
00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:16,755
You're down here.
290
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,110
You've got an
apartment with Satan.
291
00:08:18,149 --> 00:08:19,279
That's where you are.
292
00:08:19,324 --> 00:08:21,464
- Kevin!
You're wasting your time, okay?
293
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,371
The star's good as mine.
294
00:08:23,415 --> 00:08:26,285
- Boy, you got some nerve to
come over here with this
295
00:08:26,331 --> 00:08:27,941
cocky attitude.
296
00:08:27,985 --> 00:08:30,285
- Now, I know in your mind it
may be tough following credits
297
00:08:30,335 --> 00:08:32,505
like "Roll Bounce" and
"The Parkers."
298
00:08:32,555 --> 00:08:33,245
- I was good in "The Parkers."
299
00:08:33,295 --> 00:08:34,595
- Yeah.
300
00:08:34,644 --> 00:08:36,084
But let me hit you with a little
newsflash, Nick.
301
00:08:36,124 --> 00:08:39,434
I've done projects with actors
like De Niro.
302
00:08:39,475 --> 00:08:43,775
You on the other hand, you just
divorce your dinero.
303
00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:47,267
[laughs] Burn.
304
00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:49,179
Why you come in here storming
in here like you crazy?
305
00:08:49,224 --> 00:08:51,494
- I got good news,
and I got bad news.
306
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,181
- What are you talking about?
307
00:08:53,228 --> 00:08:55,188
- Look, Kev, I didn't feel safe
having your money in my pocket
308
00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:56,270
in the neighborhood like that.
309
00:08:56,318 --> 00:08:57,278
Just didn't do it.
310
00:08:57,319 --> 00:08:58,889
- Get to the point, Jackie.
311
00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:01,279
- See, what I did was, being
genius, I put your money in my
312
00:09:01,323 --> 00:09:03,193
bank account, so I can write a
check.
313
00:09:03,238 --> 00:09:04,198
A'ight?
314
00:09:04,239 --> 00:09:05,589
And would you believe it?
315
00:09:05,632 --> 00:09:09,982
Pff, the IRS garnished all your
money out my account.
316
00:09:10,027 --> 00:09:12,157
- [laughing]
- Nick, Nick, stop.
317
00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:13,513
This ain't the time, Nick.
318
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,823
- Sounds like you not working
with any dineros.
319
00:09:15,859 --> 00:09:17,209
- There's a time and a place
for jokes.
320
00:09:17,252 --> 00:09:18,822
This ain't the time.
321
00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:20,172
Jackie-Jackie, what-are you
saying that you don't have my
322
00:09:20,211 --> 00:09:21,821
money?
323
00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:23,075
So where's the good news?
324
00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:26,037
- The good news is I'm
$30,000 out of debt.
325
00:09:26,087 --> 00:09:29,257
- [laughing]
- Nick, it ain't the time!
326
00:09:29,307 --> 00:09:31,437
- But I do got your $20.
327
00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:32,753
- Gosh.
328
00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:34,659
Need something done,
you can't go to nobody.
329
00:09:34,704 --> 00:09:35,664
Did I ask him to do that?
330
00:09:35,705 --> 00:09:37,265
No.
331
00:09:37,315 --> 00:09:38,795
Tell you what, count these three
racks, and I'm gonna walk it
332
00:09:38,839 --> 00:09:40,319
down there.
333
00:09:40,362 --> 00:09:42,362
Mm, since I can't find help.
334
00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:44,237
- Hey, uh, Kev?
335
00:09:44,279 --> 00:09:45,369
Are we playing poker or what?
336
00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:46,370
Oh!
337
00:09:46,411 --> 00:09:48,281
- What the-wait!
338
00:09:48,326 --> 00:09:49,366
Close the door, dummy!
339
00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:50,374
No!
340
00:09:50,415 --> 00:09:57,855
- [laughing]
- No!
341
00:09:57,901 --> 00:09:59,251
[bleep].
342
00:09:59,294 --> 00:10:01,474
- [laughing]
- Hey, Wayne!
343
00:10:01,513 --> 00:10:03,823
Wayne, you better put
that money down!
344
00:10:03,864 --> 00:10:06,304
I see you!
345
00:10:06,344 --> 00:10:08,004
Nick, stop that.
346
00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:10,912
♪ Try for that
Money, money, money, money ♪
347
00:10:14,918 --> 00:10:16,828
- Tonight's the night that I
extinguished Nick Cannon's star.
348
00:10:16,877 --> 00:10:18,877
I've invited the entire Walk of
Fame committee to come party
349
00:10:18,922 --> 00:10:20,662
with a real star.
350
00:10:20,707 --> 00:10:22,837
Me.
351
00:10:22,883 --> 00:10:24,843
- Wonderful news, sir!
352
00:10:24,885 --> 00:10:31,805
Your ten-foot long philly mignon
cheesesteak has finally arrived
353
00:10:31,848 --> 00:10:33,938
from Philadelphia, sir.
354
00:10:33,981 --> 00:10:37,851
Your party is a
guaranteed success.
355
00:10:37,898 --> 00:10:39,548
- This is big, Coleman.
This is really big.
356
00:10:39,595 --> 00:10:40,935
Well, here's what
I want you to do.
357
00:10:40,988 --> 00:10:42,078
I want you to cut this in half.
358
00:10:42,119 --> 00:10:43,509
Half of this will be
for this party.
359
00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:44,855
I want you to freeze the
other half, save it for the
360
00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:45,855
Super Bowl.
361
00:10:45,906 --> 00:10:46,856
- Very provident, sir.
362
00:10:46,907 --> 00:10:47,857
- KEVIN: Okay?
363
00:10:47,908 --> 00:10:48,948
- Will do.
- I'm incredible.
364
00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:50,736
I'm so fresh.
365
00:10:50,780 --> 00:10:51,780
I'm incredible.
366
00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:52,695
I say cool.
367
00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:54,519
I'm so incredible.
368
00:10:54,566 --> 00:10:55,516
I say cool.
369
00:10:55,567 --> 00:10:56,917
I'm so incredible.
370
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:57,870
I say cool-
371
00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:03,750
- Why you in here dressed like
a fake-ass Jermaine Jackson?
372
00:11:03,793 --> 00:11:04,843
Where you at, Jackie?
373
00:11:04,881 --> 00:11:06,671
- At Nick's party
at the S-T-U-V.
374
00:11:06,709 --> 00:11:07,669
You didn't hear about it?
375
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:08,890
- No, I didn't hear about it.
376
00:11:08,929 --> 00:11:09,709
What-what the hell's
going on over there?
377
00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:11,186
- It's off the chain.
378
00:11:11,235 --> 00:11:12,755
You gotta learn how to throw
some parties like this-
379
00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:13,982
- Off the chain how, Jackie?
380
00:11:14,021 --> 00:11:15,331
What's going on?
381
00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:16,720
- He got Nicki
Minaj doing a set.
382
00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:18,723
I was up close and
personal with the ass.
383
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:19,975
I was right there.
384
00:11:20,027 --> 00:11:21,677
It was popping.
I was loving it.
385
00:11:21,724 --> 00:11:22,814
I was looking all at it.
386
00:11:22,856 --> 00:11:24,676
Oooh my God!
387
00:11:24,727 --> 00:11:26,557
And let me tell you
something else.
388
00:11:26,598 --> 00:11:27,948
I don't need your cars
no more, Kevin.
389
00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:28,951
- Why's that?
390
00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:30,692
- This [bleep] giving out cars!
391
00:11:30,733 --> 00:11:31,693
Okay?
392
00:11:31,734 --> 00:11:33,744
[bleep]...just got real!
393
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:34,960
- Okay.
394
00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:37,778
Disloyal, disrespectful
son of a Mich.
395
00:11:37,827 --> 00:11:39,867
He's gonna throw a
party in my house?
396
00:11:39,916 --> 00:11:40,696
You know what I've done?
397
00:11:40,743 --> 00:11:41,883
- What?
398
00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:43,008
- Take a look at this
damn sandwich.
399
00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:45,230
- That's a big sandwich.
400
00:11:45,269 --> 00:11:46,009
You know where that
sandwich came from?
401
00:11:46,053 --> 00:11:47,013
Philadelphia, Jackie.
402
00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:47,844
This ain't damn lettuce.
403
00:11:47,881 --> 00:11:49,581
- You had the
sandwich flown in?
404
00:11:49,621 --> 00:11:50,581
- This is the field, Jackie.
405
00:11:50,622 --> 00:11:52,022
I done got all the CDs pressed.
406
00:11:52,059 --> 00:11:53,019
That's not free!
407
00:11:53,060 --> 00:11:54,370
I got to pay for this!
408
00:11:54,409 --> 00:11:56,319
All types of liquor and [bleep]
I done bought!
409
00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:57,757
- I'm gonna tell you what the
problem is.
410
00:11:57,804 --> 00:11:58,984
- What's the problem, Jackie?
- Look at me.
411
00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:00,852
He's giving out
clothes and stuff.
412
00:12:00,894 --> 00:12:02,034
Balling!
413
00:12:02,069 --> 00:12:03,719
- One more time.
- Ball-turn around.
414
00:12:03,766 --> 00:12:04,896
- Go back to his place!
415
00:12:04,941 --> 00:12:07,811
- [dish crashes]
416
00:12:07,857 --> 00:12:08,817
- JACKIE: You know what, Kev?
417
00:12:08,858 --> 00:12:10,428
That was your plate.
418
00:12:10,468 --> 00:12:13,728
[laughs] Mine's right here,
'cause I know you like Teriyaki.
419
00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:14,776
I like original.
420
00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:18,781
[laughing]
[singing]
421
00:12:18,825 --> 00:12:20,995
♪
422
00:12:21,044 --> 00:12:23,004
- See, when you get
Nick Cannon,
423
00:12:23,046 --> 00:12:24,736
you get much more than a star.
424
00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:25,957
You get a star mayor.
425
00:12:26,006 --> 00:12:28,836
I will do more than just
beautify your street.
426
00:12:28,878 --> 00:12:31,838
I will bring tourism and
business deals to the city of
427
00:12:31,881 --> 00:12:33,881
Hollywood and Beverly Hills.
428
00:12:33,927 --> 00:12:36,967
Two great cities brought
together by one great man.
429
00:12:37,017 --> 00:12:39,717
[audience cheering]
430
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:40,889
- Please!
431
00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:43,074
Jesus, you're so full of
[bleep], man.
432
00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:44,980
- Only man that can
wear a strong blouse.
433
00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:46,715
Kevin Hart, ladies and
gentlemen.
434
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,066
[light applause]
435
00:12:48,115 --> 00:12:49,935
- Stop!
I need no introduction, Nick.
436
00:12:49,986 --> 00:12:51,806
I'm amongst fans.
437
00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:54,988
Hey, shouldn't you be somewhere
wilding out or something? Huh?
438
00:12:55,035 --> 00:12:56,985
Don't you got
something else to do?
439
00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:58,907
See, Nick, this here
is my house, man.
440
00:12:58,952 --> 00:13:01,082
- Actually, it's
a hotel, Kevin.
441
00:13:01,128 --> 00:13:02,738
- Oh, you mean that same one
you been living in for the last
442
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:03,742
two years?
443
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,793
[crowd oohs]
- Ooh.
444
00:13:05,828 --> 00:13:07,258
Burn.
445
00:13:07,308 --> 00:13:08,918
- If I wasn't a Christian man,
I'd be kicking your ass.
446
00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:10,792
- Answer him.
447
00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:12,143
Answer him, Kev.
448
00:13:12,182 --> 00:13:14,012
- What-what the [bleep] are
you talking about?
449
00:13:14,054 --> 00:13:16,934
Stop it.
450
00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:20,060
Well...look who's still
doing Richard Pryor.
451
00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:21,933
- You didn't get that role.
452
00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:23,015
You know why, Nick?
453
00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:24,983
Because you sucked, that's why.
454
00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:26,721
[crowd boos]
- Read him, wrote him.
455
00:13:26,762 --> 00:13:28,762
And then after that,
told everybody.
456
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,978
Burn.
Give me some, lady.
457
00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:34,027
- Oh you [bleep] now,
mother [bleep].
458
00:13:34,074 --> 00:13:36,424
- What the hell is going-
Get off.
459
00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:39,777
Get your hands-hey, you better
your fake ass-oh, you stop.
460
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,469
No, that's it!
That's it!
461
00:13:41,516 --> 00:13:43,076
Get your hands-
That's it, Nick!
462
00:13:43,126 --> 00:13:43,816
Back your ass up!
463
00:13:52,744 --> 00:13:55,884
[dog whimpers]
- Oooh!
464
00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:59,142
I just put the paws
on them paws.
465
00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:00,796
Who knocked the dog out?
466
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,930
Me, me, me, me, me.
467
00:14:03,973 --> 00:14:05,933
It was by accident though.
468
00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:08,755
I can still be excited.
It's one of my first knockouts.
469
00:14:08,804 --> 00:14:09,544
♪
470
00:14:14,810 --> 00:14:15,200
What in the hell is so damn
important that you need to see
471
00:14:15,245 --> 00:14:16,455
me right now?
472
00:14:16,507 --> 00:14:20,077
You know what traffic
is like out there?
473
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,030
God, Tri-I know.
474
00:14:21,077 --> 00:14:22,767
Fine, here.
475
00:14:22,818 --> 00:14:24,038
Do you want it to you
or to a relative?
476
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,950
- [chuckles]
- "To Trina.
477
00:14:26,996 --> 00:14:28,036
Stay in school."
478
00:14:28,084 --> 00:14:29,044
Boom-bay-yah.
479
00:14:29,085 --> 00:14:30,515
- Keep on, sign that.
480
00:14:30,565 --> 00:14:33,045
I'm gonna use that for some
checks that I need your
481
00:14:33,089 --> 00:14:34,309
signature for.
482
00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:37,091
You are really in
your own world.
483
00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:39,397
And yet it astounds me how
things continue to work out in
484
00:14:39,443 --> 00:14:41,183
your favor.
485
00:14:41,228 --> 00:14:42,748
- What are you talking about?
486
00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:44,104
- The Walk of Fame committee is
going to give you their
487
00:14:44,144 --> 00:14:46,194
last star.
488
00:14:46,233 --> 00:14:47,193
- Trina, don't play with me.
489
00:14:47,234 --> 00:14:48,284
Trina, are you serious right
now?
490
00:14:48,322 --> 00:14:49,932
I got it?
- [laughs] Yes.
491
00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:53,276
- Oh!
[laughs] I got a star!
492
00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:54,937
Wait.
How? How?
493
00:14:54,981 --> 00:14:56,501
How'd I get that?
There wasn't nobody at my party.
494
00:14:56,547 --> 00:14:58,027
- Look, my sources tell me that
the dog that you punched.
495
00:14:58,071 --> 00:14:59,331
- Yeah.
496
00:14:59,376 --> 00:15:00,376
- It actually belongs to the
chairwoman of the
497
00:15:00,421 --> 00:15:02,121
Walk of Fame committee.
498
00:15:02,162 --> 00:15:03,512
And it apparently had bitten
every other member of the
499
00:15:03,554 --> 00:15:05,304
committee, so
they all hated him.
500
00:15:05,339 --> 00:15:07,169
- That ain't
nothing but the Lord.
501
00:15:07,210 --> 00:15:08,300
Trina, that ain't nothing
but God, man!
502
00:15:08,342 --> 00:15:09,732
Hey, look, do me a favor.
503
00:15:09,778 --> 00:15:11,298
Find out the chairman of the
wax museum got a dog.
504
00:15:11,345 --> 00:15:14,035
And if he does, I will slap the
[bleep] out that dog, too.
505
00:15:14,087 --> 00:15:15,087
This is crazy!
506
00:15:15,131 --> 00:15:16,181
Oh my God!
507
00:15:16,219 --> 00:15:18,349
Hey, I got a star.
508
00:15:18,395 --> 00:15:20,005
- I can't even be mad at you.
509
00:15:20,049 --> 00:15:22,099
- Listen, I'm gonna pay
you for this session.
510
00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:23,268
Just for this one.
511
00:15:23,313 --> 00:15:24,533
I'm not gonna-I'm not
gonna backtrack.
512
00:15:24,575 --> 00:15:29,095
♪
513
00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:30,535
[audience applause]
514
00:15:30,581 --> 00:15:31,971
- WAYNE: We're here to
celebrate my man Kevin Hart.
515
00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:33,848
Last time I saw Kevin on
Hollywood Boulevard, he was
516
00:15:33,889 --> 00:15:36,069
dressed as Elmo and was tap
dancing for change.
517
00:15:36,109 --> 00:15:37,849
[laughs]
518
00:15:37,893 --> 00:15:38,333
You know, but he made
a lot of money.
519
00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:40,032
You know why?
520
00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:42,119
[imitating Elmo] Because
he said it with his chest.
521
00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:43,248
Ha, ha, ha.
522
00:15:43,290 --> 00:15:44,120
[normal voice]
That's Elmo, sir.
523
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:45,510
I'm wonderful at voices.
524
00:15:45,553 --> 00:15:46,253
- JACKIE: Yo, hold up, hold up.
525
00:15:46,293 --> 00:15:47,513
- Hey, hey, hey.
526
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:48,335
Why are you signing autographs,
Jackie?
527
00:15:48,382 --> 00:15:49,342
- Huh?
528
00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:51,123
- I'm getting the
star, not you.
529
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:52,127
- I'm signing
your name, Kevin.
530
00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:53,038
- Oh.
- Kevin Hart.
531
00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:54,212
I'm helping you out.
532
00:15:54,257 --> 00:15:55,037
- Well, thank you, you didn't
say that.
533
00:15:55,084 --> 00:15:56,044
- JACKIE: Damn.
534
00:15:56,085 --> 00:15:56,995
- KEVIN: Thank you.
All right.
535
00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:59,133
- Thank you.
536
00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:00,175
- Stay in school.
Know that.
537
00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:03,050
- Would you get your
own damn sayings?
538
00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:05,182
- You all be black
and beautiful.
539
00:16:05,225 --> 00:16:06,525
[laughs]
- Yo, Kev, Kev.
540
00:16:06,574 --> 00:16:08,054
- KEVIN: Everybody,
one at a time.
541
00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:09,057
- Yo.
542
00:16:09,098 --> 00:16:12,188
- Oh, [bleep].
543
00:16:12,232 --> 00:16:13,022
Hey, ah...
544
00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:15,019
What?
545
00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:16,581
Hey, man, what the
hell did you all do?
546
00:16:16,627 --> 00:16:20,147
- We've taken it
to another level.
547
00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:22,016
And we got a big audition.
548
00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:23,288
- Yeah, man, they
remaking "Friday."
549
00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:26,990
So what you think, huh?
550
00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:29,339
- They need to go put some
damn ice cubes on their face.
551
00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:31,429
Walking around here looking
like two sabretooth tigers
552
00:16:31,468 --> 00:16:32,598
with Ebola.
553
00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:34,083
Whoa!
554
00:16:34,123 --> 00:16:35,123
Where do I get 'em?
555
00:16:35,168 --> 00:16:37,258
Hey, man, I think
you all did that.
556
00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:38,910
I think-
- I know what you think.
557
00:16:38,954 --> 00:16:40,914
You think on I'm Boris'
ass right now.
558
00:16:40,956 --> 00:16:42,436
- Hey, Dwayne,
I'm gonna be honest.
559
00:16:42,479 --> 00:16:44,179
I don't think you should use
the letter B for a minute.
560
00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:45,400
- What?
561
00:16:45,439 --> 00:16:46,309
- You know, let's get-let's
get seated.
562
00:16:46,353 --> 00:16:47,053
- Yeah, yeah.
Can we-hey.
563
00:16:47,093 --> 00:16:48,273
- Go right here.
564
00:16:48,311 --> 00:16:49,401
- DUANE: Look, I got
one more treatment.
565
00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:51,273
After that one,
you'll really see it.
566
00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:52,454
- I told you we look good.
567
00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:53,359
- People are shocked.
568
00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:55,063
Look at 'em.
569
00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:59,021
- WAYNE: Ladies and gentlemen,
let's have a warm welcome and a
570
00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:01,411
highchair for the man of the
hour, Kevin Hart.
571
00:17:01,455 --> 00:17:10,245
[audience cheering]
572
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:11,200
- Oh my God.
573
00:17:11,247 --> 00:17:13,947
Uh, I so wasn't prepared
for this moment.
574
00:17:13,989 --> 00:17:19,209
Um, I got so many people that
I feel like I should thank.
575
00:17:19,255 --> 00:17:21,165
I don't know where to begin.
I don't.
576
00:17:21,214 --> 00:17:22,524
How 'bout we start with
the people that I don't
577
00:17:22,563 --> 00:17:24,003
need to thank.
578
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,963
Leading that group
is Trina Shaw.
579
00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:27,441
Don't need to thank you, Trina.
580
00:17:27,481 --> 00:17:29,221
'Cause you didn't believe in me.
581
00:17:29,265 --> 00:17:31,005
Nick Cannon, guess what?
582
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,310
You're not getting a thank you.
583
00:17:32,355 --> 00:17:33,965
Nope.
584
00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:36,489
Um, I wanna give the doctor that
worked on my friend Duane and
585
00:17:36,533 --> 00:17:39,233
Faizon's face a big [bleep] you.
586
00:17:39,275 --> 00:17:40,615
Duane, Bill Bellamy called.
587
00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:42,578
He wants his lips back.
588
00:17:42,626 --> 00:17:45,326
And-and Faizon, why the hell do
you look like the bad guy from
589
00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:46,538
"Despicable Me"?
590
00:17:46,587 --> 00:17:49,197
Jesus [bleep].
591
00:17:49,242 --> 00:17:52,382
Last but not least, I wanna talk
to the people that helped me
592
00:17:52,419 --> 00:17:53,459
make this day possible.
593
00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:54,857
The people who believed in me.
594
00:17:54,899 --> 00:17:56,549
The people that took the
extra step to get me here.
595
00:17:56,597 --> 00:17:59,337
Oh, wait, no one did that.
596
00:17:59,382 --> 00:18:01,342
That's right!
I did this by myself!
597
00:18:01,384 --> 00:18:03,604
All of this [bleep] was
because I did it!
598
00:18:03,647 --> 00:18:04,997
Me.
599
00:18:06,302 --> 00:18:08,522
I wrote this acceptance
speech myself.
600
00:18:08,565 --> 00:18:10,125
Thank you.
601
00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:14,696
[audience applause]
602
00:18:14,745 --> 00:18:16,355
- Hey, I just wanna
say one thing.
603
00:18:16,399 --> 00:18:19,319
Me getting this star proves
that I am way better than
604
00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:20,319
Nick Cannon, okay?
605
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:21,400
That's right.
606
00:18:21,448 --> 00:18:23,538
- It also proves
you're a dog abuser!
607
00:18:23,580 --> 00:18:25,540
Look what he did to my
little Franklin.
608
00:18:25,582 --> 00:18:28,192
[audience booing]
609
00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:29,407
- KEVIN: No, stop it!
610
00:18:29,456 --> 00:18:30,536
Hey!
611
00:18:30,587 --> 00:18:33,417
First of all, everybody,
I love dogs!
612
00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:35,200
That was an accident!
613
00:18:35,244 --> 00:18:37,294
Listen, I was going
for Nick Cannon!
614
00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:38,333
That dog was in the way!
615
00:18:38,378 --> 00:18:41,288
- [dog barking]
- I love dogs!
616
00:18:41,337 --> 00:18:44,037
My girlfriend looks
like a German Shepard!
617
00:18:44,079 --> 00:18:46,299
Doggie style's my
favorite position!
618
00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:48,172
Ow!
Ow!
619
00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:53,314
- [indistinct yelling]
- Watch the lips!
620
00:18:53,349 --> 00:18:54,569
- Faizon, block it
with your nose!
621
00:18:54,611 --> 00:18:56,441
Oh [bleep]!
622
00:18:56,483 --> 00:18:57,223
Go!
623
00:18:57,266 --> 00:19:01,306
- [unintelligible]
- You suck!
624
00:19:01,357 --> 00:19:02,317
- So what I got booed?
625
00:19:02,358 --> 00:19:03,318
I don't care.
626
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:04,529
I got a star, and Nick doesn't.
627
00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:06,228
Let me tell you something.
628
00:19:06,275 --> 00:19:09,235
Unlike Michael Vick, I ain't
doing no jail time.
629
00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:11,188
So PETA can kiss my ass.
630
00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:13,497
♪
631
00:19:13,543 --> 00:19:15,423
- KEVIN: Oh, you gotta be
[bleep] kidding me.
632
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:17,418
Is this pig blood?
633
00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:19,420
Well who's wrong
around here, PETA?
634
00:19:19,462 --> 00:19:33,132
♪
43920
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