Original subtitles

- NARRATOR: Previously on "Real Husbands of Hollywood"--

- * Country for life, country for life *

* Ye-e-eah *

- All y'all my [bleep]. - [crowd gasps]

- I can't really be seen with yo' ass.

You got problems.

- TRINA: People think that G-Twang is a racist.

- NELLY: Oh. Now what you need to be worried about

is Kevin "I smoked the TV Mama" Hart.

- Where you get that from?

- I got it from my man, Bobby Shmurda.

- ALL: Bobby Shmurda?

- TRINA: Kevin, you've been behaving rather erratically.

- [indistinct chatter]

- I'm not an addict!

- * This is life, this is the life *

* We got the life, we got the life *

* This is the city where we party every night *

* Party every night

* Just you and me

* Down and to go

* Welcome to Hollywood, welcome to Hollywood *

* Welcome to Hollywood *

- ♪

- Hey. Kev, man, what's up?

- Chris, hey.

- You all right? - KEVIN: Damn.

I was rooting for you this time.

- And I'm rooting for you too, Kevin.

- Why you rooting for me?

Oh, you think I'm one of them.

No, man, I ain't on no drugs.

Some of my friends just threw me up in this bull [bleep].

Dude, what did you do?

Why are you back in here?

- I'm just giving back, man.

- Well you ain't gotta do it like this.

We can give turkeys, we can do a lot of stuff.

- Okay. It was court ordered.

It was either this or go to jail.

What was I gonna do?

I like jump offs, I don't like orange jumpsuits.

Hello, everyone. I'm Chris Brown.

You know, Grammy-award winner, money on top of money,

women on top of women.

But, today, I'm your counselor.

- ALL: Hi, Chris.

- KEVIN: [whisper] Counselor?

Somebody back on that happy juice, aren't they?

- Come on, guys, let's clap it up.

- ALL: * Ain't no party like a rehab party *

* 'Cause a rehab party makes us stop **

- One more time.

- ALL: * Ain't no party like a rehab party *

* 'Cause a rehab party makes us stop **

- What the [bleep] is going on here?

- That's how we do this here at Restore.

And I'd just like to welcome our newest member, Mr. Kevin Hart.

- ALL: Hi, Kevin.

- I want to tell you that this is bull [bleep].

I think it's all bull [bleep].

I don't wanna be here.

and I didn't like your last single.

I couldn't dance to it.

- Kevin you're wearing a paper skirt

with yesterday's headlines.

And you know what those headlines read?

- No. - Kevin's an angry person.

Kevin's always about himself.

- KEVIN: Bull [bleep].

- Kevin needs help.

- Well, that must be underneath my balls

'cause I didn't read that.

- See, Kevin, you can let your guard down.

This is a safe place. It's open, man.

Come on, give me your hands.

- Oh you wanna play hot hands?

That's all you had to say.

You looking at a hot hands Jedi, baby.

Good luck.

This is like the "Matrix"...

except with hands.

Oh.

Get him out!

- ALL: Ooh.

- Good luck hitting me.

I'm like a mongoose.

You ever see a mon--[bleep] damn!

Damn it, that hurt.

- You know what else hurts, Kevin?

- [knuckles cracking] - Drugs.

Cocaine.

Methamphetamine.

- What is that? - Weed.

- What? - Heroin.

- What? - I've done it all...for free!

You know how hard it is to get off drugs

when you can get it for free?

- [bleep] yeah, yeah. No, but I get it.

- Now go sit your black ass down.

- All right.

Feel like you need a hug or something.

You ain't gotta do it, brother.

- Now, everyone, right now, I want you to turn to the person

next to you and restore them with a great big hug...

and share your stories.

- Oh, [bleep], you got her?

- Yeah. - I'm sorry. I didn't know.

I wanted her too.

I ain't got nobody. What the--

Bobby Shmurda, what the hell are you doing here?

- Man, they caught me on the DUI, man.

Judge says like my eighth time, and he says I'm gonna do

a year in jail or I'm gonna do three months here.

I told him get my year in jail.

But they said it's full What you doing here?

You hittin' 'em narcotics again?

- You gave me the narcotics. You're the reason why I'm here.

- Got some left? - No, I ain't got none left.

- CHRIS: Okay, now, everyone, the person you just hugged...

is gonna be your new roommate for the next three months.

- No, that's not gonna work for me.

He can't be in my roommate. Not for three months.

- Look, Kevin.

We ain't even gonna be roommates,

'cause we goin' bust up out of here, man. Just chill.

- Okay, first of all, he can hear you.

- Shhh.

- That plan was right in front of the boss.

- He ain't hear nothing.

Just be easy and follow my lead.

- Okay, Bobby, when I want to talk to you--

- Come on. - Hey, what are you--

He's looking at--Bobby!

- BOBBY: Hey, come on, [bleep]. - Bobby!

- NIA: Let me go!

Let--stop it!

You guys cannot take me in here.

I have an early call in the morning!

- * Bad girl

* She don't follow no rules * - Let me go!

- That's Nia Long!

Ever since I saw her in "Boyz in the Hood,"

I been trying to get under her hood,

because this boy in the hood is always hard.

- Come on, Kevin, let's go.

- No, you go. I'm staying, Bobby.

Oh [bleep].

- ♪

- This is worse than I thought, man.

Russell won't do a deal with us,

Suge Knight won't do a deal with us.

Trina was right, man, you gotta apologize.

I booked us on Tom Orange show to help this go away.

- Man, I don't have to apologize for saying [bleep].

- [record scratches]

- Okay, look, bruv, we cool, all right?

But you can't just be running around

yelling that word out like that.

- Why not?

My pops is black.

- [bleep] please.

- I'm serious.

- And who else know about this?

- My moms.

- I guess she would, huh?

All right, don't mention this to nobody,

and you still gonna go on the show and apologize.

All right, my [bleep], my--br--

you got it?

- Yeah, man. I got it.

- All right.

Okay, look, I know what you thinking, America.

But it's like Jay-Z said, I'm a business man

and a black country rapper is totally useless to me.

Unless it's me.

- ♪

- It got so bad, I sold my daughter's Barbie collection

to buy a few rocks of crack, [bleep].

And then I lied to her about it.

I told her that Barbie ran away with Ken.

I'm so ashamed.

[sobbing]

- CHRIS: Thanks for sharing, Todd.

Would anyone else like to share?

- KEVIN: Pick me! You want to get me?

- Would anyone like to share?

- Pick me! Pick me, man!

- CHRIS: Someone else? - Pick me, pick me.

Pick, pick, pick, pick, pick! - What, Kevin?

- After hearing that man, I don't know,

it just kind of opened up the floodgates

for all this emotion I got in me.

But I just don't know if I want to tell you guys my story

because it's, uh-- it's a tragic one.

- And so unbelievable.

Rarely has anyone with that little bit of talent

and that little bit of hype,

been able to fool so many people.

I mean, wow. Great.

But, like I said, man. We're here for you.

This is a safe place where you friends are your family.

Share.

- Well, as you guys all know, my name is Kevin.

- ALL: Hi, Kevin.

- What you don't know is that I was an alcoholic as a baby.

That's right.

I was drinking Jack Daniels

right out my Mama's titty.

- Aww.

- I didn't want the nipple, I wanted the ripple.

At the age 16, I found myself on heroin,

herorine, black smack,

vein juice, whatever [bleep] you want to call it, I did it.

I started to sell my seed at the sperm bank,

just to support my habit. - [gasps]

- Once Philadelphia, everybody started calling me Actopop.

I decided to do a geographic to California

hoping that things would get better.

- NIA: Yeah.

- It didn't.

As you would know, old habits caught up to me soon.

[sniffing]

Ah!

I started started selling man tail--

- Aww.

- --for arthritis medicine at a senior citizen home.

And, uh, I knew I hit rock bottom--

I knew I was under that rock. I knew I was under it.

It was me and a worm.

When I woke up next to that old [bleep]

all wrinkled up with veins [bleep] showing--

I'm so ashamed of my past.

I'm sorry.

I told you.

[sniffing]

- Oh!

Come here, sweetie.

I'm sorry.

- [applause]

- Ah.

- Let me tell you something. - Tell me.

- You have nothing to be ashamed of, honey.

- Okay.

- Hearing your story is like hearing my own.

I've done so many things I'm ashamed of.

So many. - Oh.

- Hi, everyone.

My name is Nia.

- ALL: Hi, Nia.

- And I'm a sex addict.

- [applause]

- Oh, yeah.

Nia Long is a sex addict.

I'm about to restore it.

- Uh, hey, wait. Where your pants at?

- Don't worry about my pants. - I'm not.

- You know what I like about you?

- Tell me. - There are no secrets.

- Girl, I'm like a fishbowl.

Okay, you can see right through this.

- You're not like the other men.

- No.

- When they find out that I'm a sex addict

they just want to jump on me,

and they just want to hump me.

- Mmhm.

- I want to hump too. - Mmhm.

- But only once. - Oh.

- Because then I get angry. - Yeah.

I don't want to be like the other guys.

- You don't?

- I'm different. No, no.

- Choke me. - No, no. Wait stop.

- Choke me harder! - I'm not choking you.

- Kevin, you're just trying to choke me.

- No, what the [bleep]? Wait.

- Oh, Kevin.

- You back? - I'm back.

- Okay.

- I am looking for someone that I can trust.

- Yeah.

- I want someone that I can do it over [bleep]

and over, over again. - Yeah!

- Are you that someone?

I want to [bleep]. - Wait.

Ooh!

You know what they say.

Fake it until you [bleep] it.

Listen, I know it is really, really hard

and sometimes painful-- - It's hard?

Is it? Ooh!

- [bleep] but you can't let the devil in.

- Oh, baby, you are just turning me on.

- Listen, listen. - Do you feel this?

- No. - Feel this.

They're real. - No, no. Look at me.

- No, you feel them right now.

- Nia, now I know this is difficult.

I know it is, but if we come together--

- Ooh! Can we come together, Kevin?

- What? - Please, can we come together.

- What are--ah! No.

- You like the floor? - No, no.

- Oh, Kevin Hart, you dirty little [bleep]...

nasty, rotten bird.

- No, no, no. You're recovering!

Not gonna let you do something you're gonna regret!

- Oh! Ah! Oh!

- What just--what the [bleep] is going on?

Nia, hey!

You're gonna regret it.

Now, hold it in.

Hold it in.

- Okay.

- All right, now we can talk for--wait a minute, Nia.

Wait, Nia! Nia.

What the--

What was that?

What am I doing?

- ♪

- Welcome to the newsroom, I'm Tom Orange.

The hot topic in Hollywood this week, the N word.

For years hip-hop artists have used the word freely.

But does that mean it's okay for a white rapper

to use the word too?

Tonight, we have multi-platinum recording artist Nelly

and his new rapper,

who's at the center of this controversy G-Twang.

- What's up, ya'll?

- Thanks for being here, fellas.

G-Twang, why did you think it was appropriate

to use the N word when you are clearly not an N?

Are you a racist?

- Hell, no, I'm not a racist.

- Oh, hey. Come on, Tom.

Take it easy on my man, okay?

G-Twang is sorry if his comments offended anybody.

- [bleep] but I ain't sorry if I offended him.

- Hey, come on, come on.

Hey, hey, look. Say you're sorry, boy.

- No, I won't. - Say you're sorry.

- I don't want to say-- - Boy, say you're sorry.

- I'm real sorry, man. - See? There it is.

He apologized to everybody, all right?

Let's talk about some music.

He's got a lot of-- - Well, Nelly,

maybe you can answer my question.

Is G-Twang a racist?

He seems like one. - Hmm.

And you seem like you can't take a punch,

but we all known you've taken a few, right?

- You still haven't answered my question, Cornell.

- You want to use the Government name.

Okay, well check this out, Uncle Tom,

why would I sign a racist to my label?

- I don't know.

Why would you continually use misogynistic lyrics

in your songs?

- Don't get them big-ass words

stuffed down your [bleep] throat, man.

- Calm down, Nelly. We're on live TV.

- I don't give a [bleep]. I'm calm.

And what the [bleep] you goin' do about it?

- Look, I'm just trying to get some honest answers, Cornell.

- Damn this [bleep] is tripping.

- What? Did you just call me--

See? That's what I'm talking--

Did we get that? Did we get that on tape?

Welcome to YouTube, G-Twang. - Didn't I tell you--

Hey, hey, chill, chill. You want some honesty?

- Please. - Okay you want honesty?

Which one of these is mine? - Go ahead. Feel free.

- This one? Me? Right here? - TOM: Please.

- All right, check this out. He's black, people.

- Come on now, son.

You know this cracker ain't black.

- What? What the [bleep]?

He got his black on a timer?

Where'd that come from?

- KEVIN: All the rehab stories I've heard from friends have

always been about the terrible time they had there.

Well, they obviously didn't go to this one.

- ♪

- KEVIN: I didn't think it would but my plan is actually working.

The more I told Nia no, the more she wanted me.

FYI, ladies, when I say no, it can mean yes.

Oh, no, no. No, no, Nia, Nia.

- ♪

- Nia, no.

Stop it right now. No, Nia.

Anyway, it's been two weeks and the supportive good guy act

is getting me closer to tasting her soul food.

Nia, don't do that. - Oh.

- Nia. Stop it.

- Oh!

Just give me one kiss.

- No, we can't. You're so strong. Ow!

- ♪

- We just want to thank you for believing in our son.

- Yes, you were the first one who did what he said

he was gonna do and was not full of hot air.

- 'Cause of you, I'm ready to go out there

and take the hick hop world by storm.

- Yeah.

- Uh, only thing gonna be storming is me

the hell up out of here. Okay?

I gotta drop you.

- Why? Your sales are down 100%.

Mother [bleep] are returning your downloads, man.

I didn't even know you could do that [bleep].

- Well, I do not care what [bleep] are doing.

Gerald is still a star.

Just like he was when he came into our lives 21 years ago.

- Mom, I'm not 21.

- I meant to say 23.

- I'm 24.

- Jesus, Gloria, will you just shut up.

- Well, I'm sorry.

But I think it is time that we told him the truth.

- It is not time.

- GLORIA: We talked about this.

- CALVIN: We didn't talk about it being tonight.

- Mom, Dad, what the hell is going on?

- Calvin, tell him.

- All right, look, son.

We didn't want you to find out like this.

But you're adopted.

- I knew it.

- Hold up. I'm not really black?

- No, son, you're not black.

- Yee-ha! [laughs]

Yes, yes, yeah!

No offense to you people, but it's hard being black, man.

- MALE SINGER: * Baby

* You are out of sight *

- KEV: Things were going great with me and Nia.

She was still horny and I was still resisting.

It was almost time for me to give in.

But then it happened-- family day.

Okay, Bridget, what the hell are you doing here?

It's family day. It's not she-devil day.

- I just wanted to see what kind of selfish mit

would leave his kids for three weeks

and come out to a resort.

- This is not a resort! I'm in recovery.

This is rehab, Bridget.

- There's no recovery for stupid, Kevin.

Don't you try to play me.

And, even if there was, I would still need you

to watch the kids tonight.

- Okay, now, right now, you sound high.

- No, I am not high. - You sound high.

- And neither are you 'cause you're scared of drugs

'cause of your daddy, you ain't fooling me.

- That is not true! - It is true.

I been with you, Kevin. I know how you are.

- Bridget, first of all, I do drugs all the time.

I just do it by myself. - Is that Nia Long?

- KEVIN: I sneaky do 'em like an addict does.

- Wait a--

- What are you doing? What are you doing?

- Mm-hmm. I smell what's going on here.

- What's going on?

- You in here chasing some [bleep].

- What did you just say?

- You got the pictures of Nia Long all up.

And what's the calendar? What's that marked up?

What's the countdown for? What's the countdown?

- Just shut up. - You make me.

- Okay, look, you're right.

And what I'm in here chasing it's a big deal.

There's a movie producer in here

and I'm trying to do a movie with him.

This is where everybody comes to network.

It's the new networking place, okay?

Rehab.

- You know what, I knew it. - You knew what?

- 'Cause that sounds just like some dumb [bleep] you would do.

Using this facility where people are coming to get healed--

- Will you shut up.

- --in their bodies and minds-- - Shut up!

- --for your own advantageousness.

- Shut up!

God, I didn't even close the damn deal yet.

You talking so loud, they find out about it,

they gonna kick me out, is that what you want?

- I need 5 Gs for a babysitter. - For what?

- It's expensive these days, childcare, Kevin.

Don't you want your children to be watched by the best?

- Are you trying to blackmail me?

- Absolutely not.

I'm just saying, if you want people to know

why you really here?

- All right, all right. - Keep your money.

- All right.

- Argh!

- All right.

- Argh!

Give me all of it!

- Now, just listen, just be quiet.

- Oh my God.

I am such a fan. Can I just--

- No, no. Just stop. Bridget.

- Shut up.

- Okay. - I love you, [bleep] you.

- Go. Just leave.

Baby mamas, right?

- No secrets my ass [bleep].

I heard everything, Kevin!

- Oh [bleep].

Nia. Nia!

- Chris! Chris, oh my God.

You have to get him out of here. He's a liar.

- Nia, it's not what you think. - There he is. There he is.

- Go get his ass. - Hey, wait a minute.

Hey, brother. No, ya'll got the wrong--no.

God! Oh, don't make me fight back.

Drugs ain't gonna stop this ass whopping I put on ya'll.

You want it.

Now get--get the [bleep] off.

- Thank you. - Don't worry about it.

You're safe here at Restore.

- Wait.

[grunting]

[bleep].

You gonna regret this!

God! Stop it.

Wait a minute. Hey!

Don't you close that door.

I've got a problem!

I'm an addict.

- Thanks, guys. Appreciate it.

- Okay, I'm gonna get back on drugs!

I'm gonna sniff this grass!

Ha! Is that what you want?

I'm sniffing grass.

You threw my clothes out?

- So, do you think your girl would mind if you weren't loyal?

- Lock her ass up.

- Chris, come on.

You know--now you know you want to hit this.

Kevin!

- Nia!

- ♪

- [crowd cheering] - [heart beating]

- ♪