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1
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- MALE NARRATOR: Previously on,
"Real Husbands of Hollywood"...
2
00:00:14,882 --> 00:00:16,482
- Unless we find him
a kidney donor,
3
00:00:16,584 --> 00:00:17,794
he's gonna die
within a week.
4
00:00:17,885 --> 00:00:19,915
- It's you.
You are a match.
5
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,460
- Ain't nobody
gettin' my kidneys.
6
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:22,915
Coleman, hurry up with my bag.
7
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,593
I gotta get
the hell outta here!
8
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:25,632
What are you doin' here?
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- ♪
10
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- * This is the life,
this is the life *
11
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* We got the life,
we got the life *
12
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:35,003
* This is the city
where we party every night *
13
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* Party every night
14
00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:38,307
* Just you and me
15
00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:40,006
* Down and to go
16
00:00:40,108 --> 00:00:42,038
* Welcome to Hollywood,
welcome to Hollywood *
17
00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:44,553
* Welcome to Hollywood *
18
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,945
- [panicked] Come on, man!
19
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,917
Stop! I'm afraid of the dark!
20
00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:51,416
Ah. I'm afraid of the light.
21
00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:52,419
Put it back on.
22
00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:53,950
- [lion roaring]
23
00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:58,933
- Terry? What the hell is your
"Brooklyn 99" ass doin' here?
24
00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:00,856
Why you dressed in
a damn prison suit?
25
00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:02,661
- Paula picked it out!
26
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:04,233
- Oh, that's Robin.
27
00:01:04,332 --> 00:01:06,132
You know I haven't heard from
this fake-ass wannabe superstar
28
00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:07,904
since white people started
buying his music
29
00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:10,141
and he dumped the
"Real Husbands of Hollywood."
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Help!
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Help! Hey!
32
00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:16,544
Hey, you, call 9-1-1.
33
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- They ain't real, Kevin!
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- Just like your
damn album sales.
35
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- [lion roaring]
- Ah!
36
00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:22,448
- MALE HOST: Live from
beautiful downtown Sherman Oaks
37
00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:26,350
California, it's Arsenioooo--
- What's goin' on?
38
00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:28,224
Who's that?
39
00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:29,262
Do something, Robin.
40
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- --oooooooo--
- What's happening?
41
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What's happening?
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- [pounds with fist]
- --Hall .
43
00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:38,570
- Welcome to the show.
44
00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:41,066
Thank you for being here.
45
00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:42,499
Terry...where's Robin Thicke?
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- Ah, that is Robin.
47
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You [bleep] up is what you did.
48
00:01:46,174 --> 00:01:48,584
I suggest you pop a Snicker
in his mouth and calm him down.
49
00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:50,536
- I like Skittles.
I'm in beast mode!
50
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:52,414
- Ooh.
- [lion roaring]
51
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:54,053
- Ah!
- Ah!
52
00:01:54,148 --> 00:01:56,018
- Stop it! I don't want
Paula to hear us.
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- Paula!
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Did she hear the album?
55
00:01:58,652 --> 00:01:59,552
- Not that Paula, man.
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- Paula!
57
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[sobbing] Paula...
- Arsenio, listen to me.
58
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:04,826
Now Robin can't say it,
but I can.
59
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:06,985
- Uh-huh.
- What's goin' on?
60
00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:09,634
- You're gonna find out exactly
what's goin' on, Kevin Hart.
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00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:12,070
Thank you and welcome
to " The Arsenio Hall Show ."
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00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:14,566
I'm sure you all heard the one
about the late-night legend
63
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:15,998
that came back to television.
64
00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:17,213
- [ audience applause ]
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- It was beautiful.
Until them Jimmys got me.
66
00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:20,206
- [ audience gasps ]
67
00:02:20,308 --> 00:02:21,608
- Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel,
Jimmy Beam.
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- KEVIN: Come on, man.
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What are you drinkin'
for, Arsenio?
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- So anyway,
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00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:28,019
CBS wanted to pick me up
for a second season.
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We're gonna have
a big announcement
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00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:30,917
so everyone would know.
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Jay Leno did a surprise walk-on.
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Robin Thicke was
gonna do my music.
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00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:38,559
And the great Kevin Hart
was gonna co-host.
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Jay Leno showed up.
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Guess who didn't show up?
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- I have a good excuse!
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You know " Blurred Lines "?
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Yeah, I snorted all of 'em!
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- Honesty.
I appreciate your honesty.
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- He lyin'.
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That's the same thing he said
about Marvin Gaye.
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00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:52,969
"I was high,
Pharrell did that."
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- Let me set the record
straight.
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I didn't steal those songs.
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I took 'em!
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I'm outta here!
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- [lion roaring]
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- Ah! Ah!
92
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,687
- Well I'm outta here too!
93
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Ah!
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00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:10,156
Ah! Ah!
95
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Are you puttin' your back
into it? What are you doin'?
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00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:13,230
[grunting]
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You wanna give me
a hand, man?
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00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:18,195
- Yeah.
I'll help ya out.
99
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- [sobbing]
100
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- We'll come right back
and we'll talk about
101
00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:26,414
Kevin's new movie,
" Man on Fire ."
102
00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:28,137
- I ain't got no movie called
" Man on Fire ."
103
00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:29,882
- Not yet [bleep],
but you about to.
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- What you doin'?
Arsenio.
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Arsenio. Arsenio!
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- Hall.
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- [knocking]
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- Kevin!
- Kevin Hartless!
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- Where you at, boy?
- Kevin Hartless, where you at?
110
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,256
- Why the hell has this
boy got a flipper?
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Come out here, punk!
- Yo, Jack, is he back there?
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- He not back there, fellas.
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- Yo, yo, yo, you know what?
He's with Arsenio.
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00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:51,571
- Why would he be with Arsenio?
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- Because I knew that the
little munchkin might bounce.
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So I told Arsenio to wait around
just in case he shows up.
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- That's smart.
- I like that.
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I like that.
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- Yo, yo, yo, yo.
Coleman.
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00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:03,275
Have you seen Kevin?
- Oh, yes, sir.
121
00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:07,147
I was just downstairs,
and I saw him leave with...
122
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you know, woof, woof, woof.
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00:04:09,517 --> 00:04:11,387
- Ah. See? I told you.
He's with Arsenio.
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They're probably gettin'
something to eat.
125
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:13,916
- Oh, okay.
126
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:15,291
Arsenio. I thought
he was with a pitbull.
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00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:16,689
- That's cool.
That's cool.
128
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:17,860
- [phone ringing]
- ARSENIO: Hello?
129
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- Yo. Arsenio.
This is Duane.
130
00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:22,327
I'm here with the guys.
Do you have Kevin with you?
131
00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:24,370
- KEVIN: [over phone] Oh, God,
no, no, don't do it .
132
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- That's Kevin, that's Kevin.
- [liquid splashes]
133
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- KEVIN: Help!
134
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,741
- ARSENIO: Nope, haven't seen
him. I gotta go.
135
00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:31,807
- Hey!
136
00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:33,265
- Does anybody know
where Paula Abdul lives?
137
00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:34,314
- Why?
138
00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:35,738
- He's still messin'
with Paula Abdul?
139
00:04:35,843 --> 00:04:36,983
- No.
He's rentin' a room.
140
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:38,707
- Let's go, let's go, let's go.
141
00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:40,552
- Paula Abdul?
Are you for real?
142
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She's sexy as hell.
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- ♪
144
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:46,415
- [brakes screech]
- You know what?
145
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,020
I bet ya you sputter
in bed, too,
146
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,261
that's why Serena left your ass.
147
00:04:50,358 --> 00:04:51,488
- What?
148
00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:53,232
Whose idea was this to take
Jackie's mama's car?
149
00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:54,397
- It wasn't my idea.
That's for sure.
150
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:55,655
- Look, look, look.
All right.
151
00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:58,403
Nobody volunteered so please
[bleep] off right now.
152
00:04:58,499 --> 00:04:59,969
- Jackie, what are you playin'
on the radio?
153
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:03,037
Change it.
- No, don't change it!
154
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,336
Uh-oh.
- What happened?
155
00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:06,408
Is that an uh-oh or is that
* uh-oh
156
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:08,307
- Nelly, are you tryin'
to collect royalties again?
157
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:10,309
Is that why you always--
- Why you knockin' my hustle?
158
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:13,251
- That's the only station
the car works on.
159
00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:15,417
- Get out!
- Let's go.
160
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:18,516
- See, Duane?
Look what you've done, Duane!
161
00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:21,359
- I'm sitting with Kevin Hart,
the hottest man in Hollywood.
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00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:25,025
Or should I say
the most flammable?
163
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,825
- PAULA: Arsenio?
164
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:28,357
- Y'all about to eat me,
ain't you?
165
00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:29,862
There's some gingerbread...
- Hey, hey, hey.
166
00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:32,803
[bleep] I need you to be quiet,
or else I'll set your ass.
167
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,840
Kevin, don't [bleep] with me.
Be quiet.
168
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:35,835
Stop blowin' my [bleep] out.
169
00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:39,006
I'm a--
I need a better lighter.
170
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:42,714
- You're about to put my black
ass in the pot, ain't you?
171
00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:45,250
- Arsenio?
172
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,505
- What?
173
00:05:46,614 --> 00:05:47,854
- What?
174
00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:50,078
I know this non-syndicated
mother [bleep] isn't talking
175
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,453
to me like he's all crazy.
176
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:54,693
You would think somebody who's
been living in my pool house
177
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:58,228
for a year would have
a little bit more respect.
178
00:05:58,325 --> 00:05:59,725
Look, Negro.
- Hm?
179
00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:01,087
- I'm leaving for Australia.
180
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,504
And I want my God [bleep] rent
when I get back.
181
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,027
- Is that what you called
me in here for?
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00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:07,302
Paula, I'm out here
doin' a show.
183
00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:09,871
- Your show's been
canceled, Arsenio.
184
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:12,910
See, honey, they told you what
Donald Trump should've told you.
185
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:14,536
You're fired.
186
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,676
- Ah, ah.
187
00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:19,308
- Crazy bitch [bleep].
188
00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:21,383
See, now you
understand my fury?
189
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:23,152
- I don't understand
nothin' about you.
190
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:24,350
I damn sure don't know
why the hell you got
191
00:06:24,452 --> 00:06:26,952
Paula's stockin' on your head.
192
00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:28,124
- Ladies and gentlemen,
193
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:31,561
it's time for the clip
section of the show.
194
00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:32,789
Move your foot, Kevin!
195
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,063
- If you wanna shoot me,
you're gonna have to shoot
196
00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:36,061
my foot first,
you mother [bleep].
197
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:41,872
- Move your feet, Kevin.
- Hey, you want TV, huh?
198
00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:43,099
You just want some TV?
199
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:46,013
Look, look at that camera.
Okay, that's my show.
200
00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:49,436
" Real Husbands of Hollywood ."
I can get you on that, man.
201
00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:54,623
It did amazing things for Boris,
for Robin, even Jackie Long!
202
00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:57,885
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
Jackie Long is workin'?
203
00:06:57,985 --> 00:06:59,485
- Yes, he's workin'.
204
00:06:59,587 --> 00:07:02,357
Arsenio, I will call BET right
now and get this done.
205
00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:04,486
- Okay, but who would
I replace?
206
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:05,592
- Duane.
207
00:07:05,693 --> 00:07:06,863
- Yeah, Duane is bringin'
this show down.
208
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,060
- Yeah, he is.
209
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:10,401
- CELL PHONE: [rap music plays]
- Wait, hold on.
210
00:07:10,498 --> 00:07:11,668
It's Donald Trump.
211
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,365
[bleep], BET.
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.
212
00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:14,967
- Shut up, Kevin,
I'm about to get
213
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:16,738
some of that
peacock, brother.
214
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:18,237
Mr. Trump.
215
00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:19,608
How are you, man?
I've been lookin' for you.
216
00:07:19,707 --> 00:07:21,577
You don't call a brother back.
217
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,105
Look, I heard that
you all are doin'
218
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:24,850
a nude " Celebrity Apprentice ."
219
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:26,145
I want in, man.
220
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:28,076
Yeah, I show mine.
221
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,221
You want Kevin Hart?
222
00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:31,216
- [whoosh]
223
00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:32,448
- Yeah, no, I'm not insulted.
224
00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:33,693
As long as I--am I in it?
225
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,487
As long as I'm in it,
I can get you Kevin Hart.
226
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:38,559
As a matter of fact, Kevin Hart
is here with me right now.
227
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:40,129
[bleep] I gotta go, Donald.
228
00:07:40,227 --> 00:07:41,387
Kevin!
229
00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:44,565
Bring your ass back here, Kevin!
230
00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:45,595
- Help!
231
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,501
He's tryin' to kill me! Wait!
232
00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:52,137
Please stop!
233
00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:55,079
Stop! Arsenio's tryin'
to kill me.
234
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:56,205
Help!
235
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,149
- We don't carry any cash.
Please.
236
00:07:58,245 --> 00:07:59,305
Just get your drugs
somewhere else.
237
00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:00,282
- What the hell
are you talkin' about?
238
00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:01,550
- Chris Tucker!
239
00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:04,249
- [unintelligible yelling]
240
00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:05,921
- I ain't no damn Chris Tucker.
241
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:10,559
Get your ass out of the God
[bleep] truck [bleep].
242
00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:11,688
Y'all better buckle up.
243
00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:14,432
'Cause we about to go
on a ride along.
244
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:17,226
'Cause it's " Rush Hour "!
245
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,970
- [cheering]
246
00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:25,707
- Tell your mama to throw
this [bleep] away. It's dead.
247
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:27,436
- I'm not tellin' her that.
248
00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:29,211
She givin' me this
when she get the new one.
249
00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:31,179
- You know what, I'm sick of
you guys, I'm callin' an Uber.
250
00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:32,608
- I prefer Lyft, sir.
251
00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:35,053
- No, Uber's much cheaper and--
- Lyft is--
252
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:37,718
- We don't have time for all
that, we need a car now!
253
00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:41,518
- Nick Nolte actually thought
about movin' here and didn't.
254
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:44,022
That's another person
I'm very close to.
255
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:44,994
- Oh, Uber X.
256
00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:46,162
Uber, hey...
257
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:48,459
- Oh, my God!
258
00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:50,362
- Duane Martin!
" Above the Rim "!
259
00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:52,303
- [cheering]
- Holy [bleep]!
260
00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:54,229
Oh, my God.
- That's Kevin?
261
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:55,204
- Hey! Kevin!
262
00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:56,302
- No!
263
00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:58,373
- [unintelligible chatter]
264
00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:01,611
- I'm Chris Tucker!
Chris Tucker!
265
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:03,679
- ♪
266
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:08,019
- [unintelligible chatter]
267
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,022
- Hey, that's Faith.
268
00:09:14,121 --> 00:09:15,191
That's Faith Evans.
269
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:17,018
- * But I know
that you're headin'... *
270
00:09:17,124 --> 00:09:18,964
- Now that means either
somebody's show got canceled
271
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,089
or somebody died.
272
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:21,463
- The network's sayin'
we got 13 episodes.
273
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:22,661
- Nelly...
274
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:23,633
what's goin' on with
" Nellyville "?
275
00:09:23,731 --> 00:09:24,801
- NELLY:
Um, Debra said I'm cool.
276
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,198
- Somebody--
277
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:30,799
- * This life's trials
I'm sorry to see you go *
278
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:37,954
* But I know
that you're headin' home *
279
00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:39,275
- [flatline tone]
280
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:42,349
- Gentlemen, I'm sorry.
But your friend Nick is dead.
281
00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:44,449
- No, no, no.
No.
282
00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:46,121
[sobbing]
283
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:47,219
- Ho, ho, ho, ho.
Whoa, whoa.
284
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:48,320
Wait a minute.
285
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:52,561
- [sobbing] Oh, God.
286
00:09:52,660 --> 00:09:55,160
- It's all right.
287
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,162
- It's all right.
288
00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,474
- I am so happy right now.
289
00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:01,096
- What?
- What?
290
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:03,101
- I got so much emotion in me.
291
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,443
I thought I was gonna have
to give up a kidney.
292
00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:09,208
I dodged that bullet!
[chuckles] Oh.
293
00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:10,639
Who do you love?
- Kevin!
294
00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:12,214
- Coleman, give me some.
295
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:13,382
Huh?
296
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:14,850
That's my God.
What's dead is dead.
297
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,378
Ain't no sense in
lookin' at it.
298
00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:19,024
Faith, let's talk funeral.
299
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,449
Ain't no sense
in you ridin' that hearse.
300
00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:22,223
That'd be scary.
I got a Sprinter.
301
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:24,762
You could come with me, comfort.
Have a couple of drinks.
302
00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:25,988
Me and you figure it out.
303
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:28,603
- You a ass [bleep], Kevin.
My friend is dead.
304
00:10:28,696 --> 00:10:30,756
- Listen, at the end of the day,
Nick woulda wanted this.
305
00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:33,234
Okay? I know Nick better
than anyone.
306
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:35,803
- You killed
my best friend, you--
307
00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:36,673
[bleep].
308
00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:38,240
- Okay.
Boys, boys.
309
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,508
- [unintelligible yelling]
310
00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:41,877
- Security.
311
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,835
Security!
312
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:47,314
- Oh. Whoa!
313
00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:48,684
Look at his shoes!
314
00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:50,722
They're diamond shoes!
315
00:10:50,818 --> 00:10:52,618
Dorothy, you're goin' home.
316
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:53,620
Give me these God
[bleep] shoes.
317
00:10:53,721 --> 00:10:54,691
- What the hell?
318
00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:56,018
- We got to pay
for the funeral.
319
00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:57,933
- DUANE: Kevin, he's dead!
- Are you gonna pay for it?
320
00:10:58,025 --> 00:11:00,055
We know Mariah ain't
chippin' in.
321
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:09,397
- Hey, Kev, who you think
I should call--
322
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:10,702
- Kevin, Kevin, really quick.
323
00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:12,044
I know it's a really bad time.
- It's a bad time.
324
00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:14,169
- No, come on, Kevin, please
just give me one statement
325
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,414
about Nick's untimely death.
- Rocsi, listen...
326
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,009
unfortunately, there was
nothing that I could do.
327
00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:19,481
I wish there was,
but there wasn't.
328
00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:20,679
All right?
329
00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:22,281
I came to the hospital,
we held hands.
330
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:24,522
I mean, he even said that we
were brothers back there.
331
00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:25,617
- A lot of people are upset.
332
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:26,789
They're saying
that you ran out on Nick.
333
00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:27,987
That you would not donate
your kidney to him.
334
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,018
- No, no.
That is not true, okay?
335
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:32,433
I practically begged Nick
to take my kidney.
336
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,555
- You're a liar!
- What?
337
00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:35,960
- You killed Nick.
You killed Nick.
338
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:37,203
[chanting] You killed Nick!
339
00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:39,567
You killed Nick!
- You need to get off the meds.
340
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:40,566
- [chanting]
You killed Nick!
341
00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:42,537
- Hey!
Shut the cameras off.
342
00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:43,995
You're all sick!
- You killed Nick!
343
00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:45,714
- You're all sick!
- You killed Nick!
344
00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:47,236
- You're all sick!
- You killed Nick!
345
00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:48,680
- You're all sick!
- You killed Nick!
346
00:11:48,776 --> 00:11:49,806
- Did you record that?
347
00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:51,010
Get that off.
348
00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:53,981
- [chanting]
You killed Nick!
349
00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:55,551
- I don't know why
they hatin' on me.
350
00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:57,078
I need my three kidneys.
351
00:11:57,184 --> 00:11:59,754
Wasn't like I was born
with four like everybody else.
352
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:01,053
Blame God.
353
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:03,564
Ow!
- You killed Nick!
354
00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:04,826
- Trina stop.
355
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:06,655
You need to stop it right now.
356
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,030
Now I don't know what you want
me to do, Trina, I really don't.
357
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:11,299
- What you could've done was
give him a kidney.
358
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,628
You could've saved his life,
but you didn't do that.
359
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,373
- Trina, it ain't like there's
just a bunch of kidneys
360
00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:16,638
out here growin' on people.
361
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,066
I can't just go snatch one.
362
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:22,741
- Once again, I have to ask you
to make some big gesture.
363
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,483
- I am not gonna be
a court jester.
364
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:25,607
I am not wearin' that hat.
365
00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:27,282
- [growling]
- I don't like the hats.
366
00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:28,450
- No!
- What?
367
00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:29,478
- Not a court jester!
368
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,252
- You need to make
a gesture, a show,
369
00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:32,651
a demonstration
of good will.
370
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,992
And if you don't, there is not
gonna be a studio or network
371
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,718
in town that will touch you.
372
00:12:36,824 --> 00:12:37,964
- You're bein' ridic--
- [whack]
373
00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:39,158
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, Trina.
374
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:42,229
- Don't touch me, Trina!
Stop it!
375
00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:44,699
- You're going to have to show
people that you are sorry
376
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:46,428
about what you've done to Nick.
- I--
377
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:48,473
- And you're gonna do it
by doing something heartfelt.
378
00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:50,268
- You want me to go do another
" HartFelt " album?
379
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,470
- No one wants you to make
another " HartFelt " album.
380
00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:54,512
What I am saying is that that's
not gonna make people
381
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:55,977
like you more, it probably
will make them hate you.
382
00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:57,706
- Everyone loves me.
383
00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:59,851
And they love me from all
directions, Trina.
384
00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:01,347
Ping, ping, ping, ping.
385
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:02,648
Love, love, love.
386
00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:03,779
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Catch it. Love.
387
00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:04,754
I caught it again.
Love.
388
00:13:04,852 --> 00:13:06,392
- Kev, Kev, Kevin.
389
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:08,586
Either you got the measles
or somebody playin'
390
00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:10,058
missile command with
your forehead.
391
00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:11,557
- What are you talkin' about?
- Get down!
392
00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:13,058
Get down.
Get down, get down.
393
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,660
- [rap music playing]
- Hey.
394
00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:16,801
- Kevin!
Get on the floor now!
395
00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:18,597
- I thought you told me to
start dancin'.
396
00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:19,698
- No!
397
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,329
- There's a dot on your head.
398
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:22,974
- BOTH: [screaming]
399
00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:25,440
- Okay. Clearly everybody
does not love you.
400
00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:28,208
Now look, I know an organization
that matches donors
401
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,508
with people who need kidneys.
402
00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:32,309
You are going to make a big
donation, all right?
403
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:33,812
And then I'm gonna get you back
on " The Doctors ,"
404
00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:35,054
we're gonna do some
damage control,
405
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,778
we're gonna clean this whole
situation up, okay?
406
00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:37,894
All right. Deal?
407
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:39,815
- Deal.
Deal, deal, deal, deal.
408
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,450
- Okay. Now you two
get out of here.
409
00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:43,464
Now you go straight home
and you don't talk to anybody
410
00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:45,926
until you hear from me.
- Wait, what about Jackie?
411
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:48,156
Valet guy, he got my keys.
The zoo.
412
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:49,261
- What happened at the zoo?
413
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:50,732
- I bought a giraffe.
- What?
414
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,000
That was--
- I saw it in a commercial.
415
00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:52,999
- I'm just saying we'll talk
about it later.
416
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:54,570
Go, go, go.
- Come on, Jackie.
417
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:55,967
Come on.
- [expels gas]
418
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:58,969
- Ah! Tear gas!
419
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:00,672
Ahhh!
- Sorry, Jackie.
420
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:01,743
I farted. I'm nervous.
421
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,641
- Ah, I can't see.
I can't see.
422
00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:06,514
Kevin, Kevin, Kevin!
423
00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:08,153
- ♪
424
00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:13,087
- [audience applause]
425
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,386
- Our next guest found
out his kidney
426
00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:17,257
was a perfect match
for a dying friend.
427
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,557
And right here
on this very stage,
428
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:23,199
he committed to giving
that friend the gift of life.
429
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:28,036
Unfortunately, he reneged,
and Nick Cannon passed away.
430
00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:30,065
Please welcome Kevin Hart.
431
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:32,470
- [audience booing]
432
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:34,812
- Don't boo me!
Boo you!
433
00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:38,108
Everybody can kiss my ass.
434
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,311
Hey.
435
00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:40,912
- Kevin, you may be one
of the most hated men
436
00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:42,154
in America right now.
437
00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:43,579
Why did you want
to come on the show?
438
00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:45,253
- Well, first of all,
I didn't know that I was one
439
00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:46,622
of the most hated men in America
'til you just said somethin'.
440
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:47,649
- MAN IN AUDIENCE: You suck!
441
00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:48,824
- So let's just get that
out the way.
442
00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:49,922
Here's the thing, Tavis.
443
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,533
I came here--
- Uh, it's Travis.
444
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:55,325
- Look, Dr. Traffic,
I wanted to come on here
445
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:56,998
to basically tell
my side of the story.
446
00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:58,697
What I want people
to understand is that
447
00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:00,098
I tried to give Nick a kidney.
448
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:03,000
I was on my way to the hospital,
but at the same time
449
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:04,403
Obama had just got to town.
450
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:06,714
You know how it is when he's
in town, traffic is a mess.
451
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:08,036
So I couldn't get there.
452
00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:09,981
When I finally got to the
hospital, what nobody realizes
453
00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:12,207
is that it was too late.
454
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:13,852
[crying] I saw
Faith Evans singin'
455
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:16,117
and I knew that he was gone.
456
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:19,816
I knew that Hollywood had lost
one of the best C-List actors
457
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,119
that it has ever seen.
[sniffles]
458
00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:23,962
I mean, when you talk
about movies that went straight
459
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:26,057
to DVD, he's up there
with the best of 'em.
460
00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:27,689
Right? Am I lyin'?
461
00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:28,934
- I'm actually proud of you
462
00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:30,299
for being so brave
to talk about this.
463
00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:31,797
- Ah. [sniffles]
- I really am.
464
00:15:31,898 --> 00:15:33,168
- Yeah.
I know, I know.
465
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,596
Since I really couldn't help
Nick the way I wanted to,
466
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:37,071
I thought that it was best to
come here and show my courage,
467
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:39,510
my strength, my sex appeal.
468
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:40,836
- Kevin hold that thought
really quickly.
469
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:44,380
Because right now, I want
to introduce our other guest,
470
00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:49,117
America's favorite
" Apprentice ," Arsenio Hall!
471
00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:51,276
- [audience cheering]
472
00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:58,856
- Stop, stop, stop!
Everybody stop.
473
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,388
What the hell are you doin'
here, Arsenio?
474
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:02,463
- I know you have been
a little down in the dumps
475
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,302
since you killed
your friend Nick Cannon.
476
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,227
- I didn't kill Nick Cannon,
you sick bastard.
477
00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:07,773
- You did kill Nick
and you killed
478
00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:09,237
my damn late-night career too.
479
00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:11,336
- Oh, will you just stop it?
No, no.
480
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:14,608
Didn't nobody tell you to book
Farrakhan on a Jewish holiday.
481
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:16,977
- Hold on. I really don't want
our show to get canceled,
482
00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:18,607
so Arsenio, can you
get to the point?
483
00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:19,811
- Okay, Kev.
484
00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:21,512
I'm sure you want to know
why I'm here tonight.
485
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:22,724
- I do want to know
why you're here.
486
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:25,415
- Ladies and gentlemen,
a man who's made love
487
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:28,718
to almost every woman in
Hollywood, Mr. Nick Cannon!
488
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,621
- [audience cheering]
- Who?
489
00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:38,269
No!
490
00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:42,144
It's not real.
491
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:43,795
It's a hologram!
492
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:44,773
- Wait, wait.
493
00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:45,811
It's not a hologram.
494
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:46,935
- It's a hologram.
495
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,810
This isn't real.
- [bleep]
496
00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,978
- Please show him, Nick.
497
00:16:51,078 --> 00:16:52,878
- [whack]
- Ow!
498
00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:55,049
- ARSENIO: That hurt,
didn't it, Kevin?
499
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:56,418
You know why it hurt, Kevin?
500
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:59,246
Because you've been tricked!
- What?
501
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:00,852
- You've been tricked!
- What?
502
00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:05,023
- Ladies and gentlemen, I give
you, Duane Martin, Boris Kodjoe,
503
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:09,555
Nelly, Trina Shaw,
Coleman, Rocsi Diaz,
504
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:12,472
Lola, Miss Faith Evans.
505
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:17,395
And yours truly, I'm the new
host, of " Trick'd ."
506
00:17:17,504 --> 00:17:20,674
- All right, this is--
this is crazy.
507
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:21,913
So were you all in on this?
508
00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:23,208
- Everybody.
- That's right.
509
00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:26,550
- We got you, man.
- You got played, playa.
510
00:17:26,646 --> 00:17:27,876
- Wait a minute?
511
00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:30,050
Is this your idea of a trick
you sick son of a [bleep].
512
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:31,980
- Hey, I got a network
that I gotta run.
513
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:33,115
- Oh, my God.
514
00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:34,220
- Kevin?
- Yeah?
515
00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:35,461
- Look at that camera
516
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,115
and tell America what
you've just been through.
517
00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:39,034
- America, I would
introduce myself,
518
00:17:39,126 --> 00:17:40,886
but you know me
because I'm famous.
519
00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:43,263
I'm Kevin Hart, and
I've been " Trick'd " again.
520
00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:46,373
- [audience applause]
521
00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:48,436
- Wow. That's why
I'm so shocked.
522
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:49,835
They went all out
for this one.
523
00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:53,136
Come on, with the--the torture
chamber, they had a sniper,
524
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,470
to top it off,
525
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,844
you all had me really think
I donated my kidney.
526
00:17:56,943 --> 00:17:57,913
That's what really
messed me up.
527
00:17:58,010 --> 00:17:59,050
- Wait.
- Wait, wait, wait.
528
00:17:59,146 --> 00:18:00,706
Hey, hey, hey.
- Hold on, hold on, hold on.
529
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:01,883
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
530
00:18:01,981 --> 00:18:03,281
- What is he talkin' about,
donated a kidney?
531
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:04,853
- Who told you to donate
a kidney?
532
00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:07,391
- What do you mean who told me
to don--Trina told me.
533
00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:08,687
- [unintelligible chatter]
534
00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:11,188
- No, no, no, no, no,
I said to make a donation--
535
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:12,761
as in write a check.
536
00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:15,159
- Okay, well then
what I did was check myself
537
00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:16,932
into the hospital and get
my [bleep] kidney cut out.
538
00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:18,099
- Why did you do that?
539
00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:19,498
- What do you mean?
Yes, you told me.
540
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,599
My kidney is right here
in this cooler.
541
00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:23,001
Okay. Look at this.
542
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,202
Hold on.
543
00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:25,614
Wait a minute,
this is beef liver.
544
00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:27,405
Jackie, where's my kidney at?
- It's not in there, Kevin?
545
00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:28,907
- No, it's not in there.
That's beef liver.
546
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:31,883
- Kev!
547
00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:33,948
You want some of this liver?
548
00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:35,276
Let me taste it for you, baby.
549
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,694
It's real delicious.
550
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,186
[gagging]
551
00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:44,388
- [audience laughing]
552
00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:45,661
- Oh!
553
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:49,926
Oh!
554
00:18:50,029 --> 00:18:52,569
Oh! That's so sad for you.
555
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,625
Look like you about to get
another show canceled.
556
00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:57,574
'Cause I'm about to put
the paws on you.
557
00:18:57,670 --> 00:18:59,040
- Freeze!
558
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,538
You know,
when J.B. Smoove
559
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:01,570
hosted this show,
560
00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:03,414
he got hit in the face
a lot, right?
561
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:07,380
Yes. But I'm not doin'
that [bleep].
562
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:08,720
Byclops!
563
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,586
Unfreeze.
- [grunts]
564
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:16,588
Mother [bleep]!
565
00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:23,695
- ♪
566
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:40,851
-[crowd cheering]
- [heart beating]
567
00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:42,217
- ♪
41357
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