Original subtitles

Previously on "Real Husbands

of Hollywood"...

You're under arrest for real

estate fraud and tax evasion.

No... oh, wait!

From an ongoing investigation

into the Church of

the Beautiful.

Wait, Nick Cannon for

Beverly Hills mayor?

You told me I was the only

one who could sing that song,

Nelly.

I'm the star

of "Falling Legend."

They hired me to be

a better you.

George Lopez and Kevin Hart,

together, starring in

"47 1/2 Hours."

Action!

♪ This is the life

♪ Look at the life

♪ This is the city where we

♪ Party every night

♪ We do it big

♪ Diamonds and gold

♪ Welcome to Hollywood ♪

Let me tell you something,

people, I have been to a lot of

premieres but I have never seen

two premieres at the same damn

multiplex.

I am with superstar rapper

Nelly and Grammy nominee

Elle Varner.

Now, seriously, you guys just

collaborated on "Ignored Me,"

a monster megahit on the

soundtrack to "Falling Legend."

How does that make you feel?

Oh, it's amazing.

It's amazing for all those

long, long hours in the studio

to finally pay off.

Wow, what about you, Nelly?

I mean, I feel the same way.

I mean, working with Elle is...

Um... it's great.

It was really great, uh,

something special.

Well, you guys obviously had

a really good time, so there's

gotta be another collabo coming

down the line, right?

Oh, absolutely.

Yeah... uh, yeah.

Yes.

First, you wanna give away

my song.

Then the song blows up to be the

number one hit of the year.

Then you wanna cozy up with your

little beige protege

on the red carpet.

Well, guess what, Nelly?

Your song is not gonna be the

only thing blowing up this year.

[flicking lighter]

I think need a refill.

Now, Nick, you are making

history, as usual.

Tonight, you'll be receiving

results from the box office...

Right.

And your election in the same

evening-- it's incredible.

But I have to ask the

question that's on everybody's

mind: Where's Mariah?

Boris, Boris, hi.

Hi there, hey.

Do you have any comments

about the recent shutdown and

investigation of your

Church of the Beautiful?

Oh, you know, I will continue

my spiritual and philanthropic

pursuit on a more personal

level, one-on-one, if you will.

One-on-one, like

Michael Jackson, you know, I'm

gonna take a look at the man

in the mirror.

That's what I'm gonna do.

And I like what I see.

Well, what do you say to the

accusations...

Thank you.

That your church has more to

do with sheltering taxes than it

does with actually saving souls?

Oh, that's funny.

See, like the Almighty said from

the beginning of time...

Speak to his lawyer.

Hi!

Hi, how are you?

Hi.

Thank you, hi.

Whoa, babe, babe.

Yo, this thing is busted.

[buzzing]

Babe, I thought you said--

No, I thought you said we had 20

miles before this thing goes...

No, we got a whole nother

mile-- you're inside the space.

It'll never happen.

We got a mile to go.

Why is it hot?

I'm not going, babe.

Take me home.

I'm not going back to jail

for one of your straight-to-

video movies-- that's it.

No, we ain't going.

Well, thank you for your

support.

Hey, that's your career, I--

Babe, we're already here.

I mean, what could they really

do to you?

All right.

It shouldn't be so hot.

Come on.

All right.

[bracelet zapping]

[whimpering]

Hey, you okay, huh?

Oh! [blabbering]

[screaming]

[gasping]

They're electrocuting me.

We almost died.

You all right, baby?

I wanna go home.

Why don't you just stay right

here, I'm gonna go in.

What you mean, stay here?

You need some chips?

I can't cross the line.

You gonna leave me?!

[scoffs] Hey, poor Tisha.

[chuckling]

Tisha goes to movie premieres

all the time.

I haven't been to one in almost

ten years.

Shoot, I'm not gonna let her

criminal act ruin this for me.

A rainy night in Hollywood,

but star-studded as Kevin Hart

and George Lopez are starring

together on the big screen for

the first time.

Congratulations, guys.

The movie, "47 1/2 Hours."

What can you tell me about how

it came together?

Well, Ben, it's simple.

I mean, Kevin Hart is hot.

George Lopez is hot.

It's a no brainer, you know,

refried beans and collard greens

together.

[both laughing]

Kevin, this is a big night

for you.

I've covered so many premieres.

Never have I come to two

premieres at one place.

[chuckling]

You're starring in one film

and another film about you,

"Falling Legend."

What's going on?

Uh, well, first of all, I can

tell you that that movie is full

of a bunch of D-list actors.

[both laughing]

Listen, you tell me, would you

spend $14 to go see

Boris Kodjoe, Nick Cannon,

Duane Martin, and Nelly?

What is Nelly's last name?

I think it's Smith.

Yeah, I don't even know.

Nelly Smith.

Nobody knows who he is.

They're not even on YouTube.

I mean, come on, those guys

don't even show up on

surveillance tapes.

[both laughing]

Wow, strong words from Lopez.

In your film that you're

starring in now, "47 1/2 Hours,"

you play a sheriff.

Yeah.

A real career stretch for

you-- was it tough?

Oh, no, you know what, man,

as an actor, you gotta

learn to...

Hey, yo, Kev!

There's a new sheriff in town!

Tell him what his name is.

Yeah, his name

is Spoken Reasons.

[both laughing]

Come on over, Nick Cannon.

Good to see you as always.

How is the family, good?

What's up, man?

Spoken Reasons,

looking sharp.

You guys know each other,

of course.

Spoken Reasons.

Yeah, you know what, Kev,

bust this fool-- give him some

reasons why he shouldn't have

spoken.

Uh, I can give you about 10

million Twitter reasons why you

shouldn't have spoken.

Oh, really, Kevin?

You know, it's so funny, I just

uploaded this picture on

Instagram, and it got over 15

million likes for me clowning yo

ass.

When the hell you take that?

I think George is one

of them likes.

Oh, man, come on.

[laughter]

Hit him with your Instagram

numbers.

5 million.

30 million.

Facebook that mother.

11 million.

50 million.

I got about 25 million

on YouTube.

I own YouTube.

17 million, Myspace.

You still got a Myspace, dog?

[laughter]

Everybody's on Myspace.

Myspace and BlackPlanet.

You guys not on BlackPlanet

either?

Face it, Kev, you just got

crushed like the little patent

leather roach that you are.

You know what, [bleep], Nick?

Why don't you and this fake-ass

David Copperfield go somewhere

and kill yourself?

Walk away before they take

your name off the poster.

No, no, no, does a bird come

out that hat?

Where's the pigeon, stupid?

Why don't you and the monopoly

man go [bleep] yourselves.

Don't be talking about

my friend, you little California

raisin!

[bleep].

Just drop dead, Nick!

No, you go ahead--

You drop dead.

I don't give a [bleep].

[crowd gasps]

He-- uh--

Guys, we'll be right back.

More from the premiere

of "Falling Legend"

and "47 1/2 Hours."

What'd you do?!

Don't mock me!

No, no, you mocked me!

'Cause you mocked me!

No, you mocking me.

[loud explosion]

[crowd screaming]

Bridgette blew up my bus!

♪

What y'all talk about

last night?

How damn Bridgette blew up

Nelly's tour bus?

I told you she was crazy.

I bet that tour over now-- what?

No, what I wanna talk about

is how you told Nick to drop

dead, and then he did.

Nick is dead?

Who taking Mariah to the

funeral?

Please say nobody.

This is serious.

I'm being serious.

Okay, you just being dramatic.

Stop... feeding into that mess.

Ain't nothing wrong with Nick.

The man is in the hospital.

No, he's not.

Yes.

That's what Nick does.

He wants attention so he goes

and gets hurt.

"Oh, uh-oh, kidney failure.

Help, help me."

That is low for even you.

Oh, my DVD, "Wild 'N Out's"

coming out, and nobody wants it.

That means my kidney hurts.

Uh, uh-oh.

Didn't you guest star on

"Wild 'N Out"? I think you did.

"I need attention!

Nobody's looking at me!"

This is ridiculous, I don't

understand-- the thing that I'm

trying to tell you is that he

actually is in the hospital!

Yeah, he is sick and people feel

badly about it.

Oh, let me try to find that

give-a-[bleep].

'Cause I don't have it.

Well, you know what?

You should.

Because your ill-timed comment

has affected the success

of your movie.

Why? Why is that?

Yeah, "47 1/2 Hours"?

Lucky if it'll do $47 1/2,

'cause people didn't like seeing

you tell somebody to die.

It went viral.

Because I said "drop dead."

You know, I'm tired of saying

something and it always going

viral.

I'm getting sick of it.

I'm really getting sick of it,

Trina.

What-- that went viral too.

What I just said went viral?

Yes.

♪

Who's doing it?

Who-- you sending my stuff out?

No, no, no, it can't be you,

'cause you're white.

You got on a bad shirt.

No, black people are usually

the mole.

Why would you say--

It's you.

It's you, man.

Ohh.

I'm trying to stop

inappropriate things from going

viral and-- oh, gosh.

No, no, that's it.

Move it!

I don't know how to--

I can't-- I can't contain...

[door closing]

... this-- this is, he did not

mean any of that.

God, we've come to you today

to ask for a blessing for our

friend, Nick.

He's here in the hospital with

us and in need of a blessing

like the ones you've given me so

plentiful all the time.

Like my outlandish handsomeness

and my strength.

My beautiful, hot wife.

My-- my kids.

Thank you for my body,

my six-pack.

Amen, these German pastors,

my God.

Look, Nick, these headlines

right there are the best

publicity that our movie could

ask for.

It says I'm dead.

Exactly, this is a good

thing.

Will you break it down to him,

Nelly?

Hmm... Shake is right, Nick.

I mean, think about it.

You want a hit in movies

and music?

Die-- worked for Tupac, Biggie,

Bruce Lee.

Hell, Michael Jackson had

a hit record and a movie

at the same time.

And a movie.

And now Nick Cannon.

What?

Don't you wanna be on that

list, Nick, huh?

Oh, yeah.

That is the dream team of

dead people.

All you gotta do is die.

I mean, you will never make

that list while you're alive.

What are you talking about,

guys?

Are you ridiculous, really?

What?

Now you're talking about him

dying?

What?

I mean, come on.

He's in the hospital.

But he's going anyway.

What do you mean,

he's going anyway?

I'm not gonna die for y'all

movie to be a hit.

You know why, Nick?

'Cause you're not a team player,

Nick, you're not...

You're selfish, Nick.

I'd die for you.

Selfish, how is he selfish?

Hey, Doc.

Well, I got some good news.

You are the new mayor of

Beverly Hills.

Congratulations.

Hey!

Hey-hey-hey, man.

That's good news.

See that?

See what I mean?

See how fast He works.

Man, incredible!

Unfortunately, you won't

serve a day in office.

If you don't get a kidney

transplant within a week,

you're gonna die.

Damn!

Sorry.

Whew, [bleep].

I guess the wake is back on.

If you don't get a kidney

transplant within a week,

you're gonna die.

Damn!

Sorry.

So you gonna die, so what?

People die every day, Nick.

Life goes on-- hell, I had one

bad album that died.

I say we call some girls,

pop some bottles,

and get the party started.

Know what?

I'm with [bleep] you, man.

You know what I'm saying?

Girls? Pop bottles?

I'm about to pop a kidney.

You know what I would like to

hear from my friends?

"Hey, let's all go get tested to

see if we could have a kidney

that matches Nick's."

Why would I say that?

I wouldn't-- I wouldn't say

that.

Me and Nick cool... but we ain't

give-up-a-kidney cool.

I would, but, you know,

I actually promised mine to

somebody.

Who did you promise your

kidney to?

DMV.

DMV?

Yeah, I'm an organ donor.

You know how the DMV is.

Are you serious?

Man, they can take you out.

They can trans-- they can take--

You know what, you ought to

just shut-- just shut up.

Shut up, Duane, shut up.

No way, no... way.

We supposed to be friends.

You're supposed to

look out for each other.

Guess you never know who your

friends are until you have to

ask for a kidney.

That's why it pays to have

a loving, loyal wife.

[sighs]

Hey, babe.

Yeah, they said no.

So I'm gonna need that kidney

after all.

Your kidney.

We talked about this, 'member?

You know, the vows and-- hello?

Mariah!

I'm dead.

[hairdryer blowing]

[sighs]

Over Nick's dead body.

You-- you-- you are gonna go

to heaven and--

Hey, hey, hey!

Hey, stop!

Fellas!

Do you have any respect?

Mother[bleep] is on his way

out soon.

Come on, guys.

Hey, guys, are y'all getting

this or no?

I'm on the cameras.

You just-- you just focus

on that.

Are you out of your mind?

Would you shut up?

You can't bring photographers

in here.

Just shut up, shut up-- I'm

gonna finish my presentation.

Don't call it a presentation.

It doesn't read sincere.

No, I got it, okay?

Give me a second.

Look how they got my friend up

in here.

[cameras clicking]

Really, Kevin?

Don't be mad at me 'cause

I'm a better actor than you.

What?

That's what this is.

Absolutely disgusting.

This is not disgusting.

I'm heart-- I'm heartbroke.

[feigning sobbing]

Oh, God.

Aah! Get the strength.

Get the strength.

God, man, they got you in here

wrapped up like a damned

baked potato.

Like you ain't worth nothing!

Listen, if you don't make it,

I just want you to know Mariah's

gonna be okay.

We'll get married again.

And we'll put those two--

those two kids of yours up for

adoption 'cause I already have

two, and we don't need four.

That's too many.

Nick, I just wanna say I'm

sorry, man, for those, uh...

for those heartless comments I

made about you dropping dead.

I didn't mean it, man.

It wasn't for you.

It was for Spoken Reasons.

That's another lucky [bleep]

I can't stand, little skinny

[bleep].

I bet you probably got a lot you

wanna say, man.

Yeah... God, get that...

He wants you to lean in.

Yeah, what's up, man?

What do you gotta say, buddy?

Yeah, talk to me, Nick.

[crunch]

[screaming]

Get him, Nick!

He's biting him!

I got him, I got him, go!

Damn!

Oww!

Damn!

Hey, hey!

What are you doing?

[glass shatters]

What are you doing?

Aah!

He Tysoned me!

God, I'm taking my gift back!

Hey!

You stupid-- get off of me!

Listen to me, listen to me.

The reason he's so upset is

because he just found out that

unless we find him a kidney

donor, he's gonna die within

a week.

So we're all gonna get tested.

And you, too.

Boris must have bumped his

big-ass kidney-shaped head.

I mean, why would I do that?

It makes no sense.

Nick's got my woman.

Now he want my kidney too?

I'll see you in the next life,

Nick.

[Kevin laughing]

This is serious, guys.

Nick is gonna die unless we help

him out.

Ain't nobody giving Nick no

damn kidney.

You know what?

Tell Mariah to step up for one.

Oh, hey.

I'm glad you're here.

I was gonna write you

a note, but...

How you get in here?

I have keys.

Look, I'm actually glad that

you're all here, okay?

I need to talk to you.

What's up?

Word got out that you were

all considering getting tested

to help Nick find a kidney.

Uh, how'd that word get out?

I don't know, maybe it was

all the paparazzi in the room?

Actually, the headlines were

about to read, "Friends Tell

Nick Cannon to Drop Dead,"

until I spun it to make you all

look like heroes.

You're welcome.

Well, you know the show,

"The Doctors"?

Yes.

I happen to represent one of

the producers on the show,

so you guys are all going to go

on, you'll get tested, and the

results are gonna be announced

live on air.

That's a great idea.

Wait, is it like STDs and

stuff or...

For the kidney, Kevin,

for the kidney.

My kidneys are no good.

Why?

[both] Steroids.

Allegedly.

Of course... Duane?

Hemorrhoids.

Kevin?

Fibroids.

Okay, this is ridiculous.

I don't know why you're doing

this-- working so hard to come

up with excuses.

The chances of you guys being a

match, like one in a bazillion,

okay?

But the chances that your

careers will be ruined because

everyone will hate you, well,

that is pretty much a guarantee,

gentlemen, so I suggest you

strap up, get it together, put

on your big boy pants, and go do

the test, okay?

Bye.

A bunch of [bleep].

I should went with something

else bedsides fibroids.

I shoulda said herniated disc.

[cheering and applause]

Nick Cannon has it all.

A wonderful family, an amazing

career, but right now, as you've

seen in the headlines, Nick is

in need of a kidney transplant

as his life hangs

in the balance.

But his four best friends,

they've all offered to be tested

to see if they're a match.

So please welcome Boris Kodjoe,

Duane Martin, Nelly,

and Kevin Hart to the show!

[cheering and applause]

Good to see you, Boris.

Thanks for coming.

What's up, Duane?

Welcome, my friend.

Thank you, thank you.

Kevin, hey, great to meet

you.

You too.

[cheering and applause]

Yes, I mean, this is

a serious deal.

I commend you.

These gentlemen right here

actually went to Cedars-Sinai

in the hopes that one of them

would be a match for Nick,

so big round of applause.

[cheering and applause]

Whose idea was it...

to throw your hat in the ring?

You know, we're all friends,

so it wasn't even anything to

think about, so we just did it.

Yeah.

[cheering and applause]

The beautiful thing, as in

bountiful, universal truth,

inspiring faith, understanding

and love, is that this act of

kindness inspires my ministry

of selfish giving, where you

give to receive.

[cheering and applause]

Um...

Please, uh, go to

www.borisbeautiful--

one word-- .com.

I knew Boris didn't care

about Nick and his kidney.

He just wanted to promote his

damn cult.

Kevin, you-- you-- you must

be super tight...

Oh.

... with-- with Nick to do

this.

[sighs] Well, you know what?

Dr. Shark, oh, at the end of

the day, you know,

I made a commitment to Nick, and

I'm gonna stand by it, you know?

And if this thing happen to go

bad, you know what, I will step

up and I will take care of his

family.

[cheering and applause]

I'm that type of guy.

You know what?

Wow.

Uh, Mimi, Mimi, if you're

listening right now, if this

thing were to go bad, understand

that you may lose a Cannon,

but you will gain a Hart.

[cheering and applause]

That's beautiful.

So you guys, you've moved me.

Yeah, thank you.

You know, I've seen a lot,

but I've never seen this kind of

attitude for a friend in need.

I know you were hoping that one

of you will be a match.

Just hoping.

[applause]

We did find a match!

One of the four of you can be

a donor.

[bleep].

And the results are in

this envelope.

Oh, are you sure, are you--

One of us?

One of the four of you are

going to be able to donate

a kidney to your friend...

Out of a bazillion?

... and save his life.

Didn't you Google this?

I coulda swore the odds were

different-- this is weird...

Gentlemen, are you ready?

Yeah.

[chuckling]

Kevin is a match!

Yeah!

Kevin is a match!

[cheering and applause]

Yes! Yes! That's me!

[shouting]

Whoo!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

[cheering and applause]

Hey, he said Boris.

He said Boris.

Boris gotta give his kidney up!

It's you.

It's you, Kev.

It's you.

[laughing] It's you.

You are a match.

He's doesn't-- it's you, Kev. ♪