Original subtitles

Previously on "Real Husbands

of Hollywood..."

So tell me what you think

about this-- George Lopez and

Kevin Hart together, starring in

"47 1/2 Hours."

I'm already committed to a

project with my friends.

Oh!

And you can forget about me

doing that movie

"Flopping Legend."

You still want me to do

"47 1/2 Hours"?

Hell, yeah.

I knew you'd see things my way.

[screams]

♪ [upbeat music]

♪ This is the life

♪ Look at the life

♪ This is the city

♪ Where we party every night

♪ Party every night

♪ We do it big

♪ Diamonds and gold

♪ Welcome to Hollywood ♪

To research for our upcoming

movie, George and I decided to

take a little trip to the

Eastside.

Man, you sure you want to do

this?

I was born to do this.

I'm about to get my super black

detective on.

Well, I'd leave your super

black detective at the door.

Give me the badge, cakes.

I'm about to show you how I

bull[bleep].

I'm looking for a guy that goes

by the name of Build-A-Bear.

Never heard of him.

Oh, you've never heard of

him, huh?

Well, maybe you've heard of my

friend Jose Cuervo.

Oh, [bleep].

Ahh!

Oh, [bleep].

You know what?

That's what you deserve.

You should have left two drinks

ago.

That's what I gotta do to get a

little respect around here?

Guess I got to [bleep]!

Let me help you out there,

Poitier.

What are you talking about?

I don't need your help, man.

Okay, if you let me get my third

stroke, I would have broke it.

Okay, go ahead.

Yeah, I will go.

Yeah, Shaft. Go ahead.

Hush.

I... am a cop!

That don't fly in here.

Say you're from the INS.

What the hell do taxes got to

do with what I'm doing right

now?

Just say it-- INS.

I am from the INS!

[record scratches]

Listen!

Y'all pissing me off.

What the hell?

You got white guys running.

Probably Canadian.

An illegal Canadian.

A whiteback.

You know what?

There's a new deputy in town,

people.

Give me the hat-- shut up before

I knock your [bleep] damn nose

loose.

Give me a reason.

I'll break it good.

This deputy's name is

Reggie Hampton.

And Reggie Hampton don't play

no games!

Tell them you hate soccer.

And let me tell you something

about soccer!

That game ain't [bleep].

[speaking Spanish]

You just [bleep] up, esé.

Okay, hold on.

The jig is up, George! Run!

Run!

Not for me, I love soccer!

Get that negro!

Man.

Kev, Kev, Kev-- Kev, Kev.

You're late. I don't--

John, John, this ain't the

time, John.

Before you start coming to me

about me being late, listen.

I was going, I was preparing for

the role.

Now, you don't need to worry

about me being late.

You need to worry about George

getting here.

George is here.

George is not here.

George is here.

The producer is always early.

Oh, you want some watermelon

with some habanero?

Oh, you dirty mother--

really, soccer?

What's this about you getting

your ass whipped in a bar?

What?

It's all on Twitter.

Everywhere.

Am I trending,

or is it just--

Listen, look me in the eyes,

I'm telling you.

You just got put on, okay?

You can be replaced.

One phone call.

Tyrese.

Morris Chestnut.

We gotta make a switch, man.

You asked for this.

Just cool out, all right?

Take the afternoon off.

Take your boat out.

We can't, we gotta work.

Can I have my phone?

No, be professional.

Listen, did you see that?

He must think that I'm one of

the boys from the hood.

Listen to me.

[bleep] John.

[bleep] him.

Wait a minute, what?

You think he talks to other

actors like that?

Laurence Fishburne?

Ice Cube?

No.

No one can replace

Kevin Hart.

No.

Actually, just about anyone

can replace Kevin Hart.

Sinbad, Meshach Taylor, Sommore.

Ah.

[exhaling sharply]

You all right?

Rice, peas, carrots.

Yeah, just method.

[both] All right.

And... rolling!

Action!

This place is dangerous, so

let's just get in and out.

No bull[bleep].

Why don't you just give me

your badge, Cakes?

You watch my bull[bleep].

[clears throat]

Listen up!

Especially you.

I'm looking for a guy that goes

by the name of Build-A-Bear.

And before you open your mouth,

understand that you are dealing

with the-- pass that to me.

I'm sorry.

Hey, cut, cut, cut.

Kev, Kev, Kev, Kev.

It's taking us 47 1/2 hours

to get this one scene.

You're burning money.

It's the way he's handing me

the wallet.

Can we look at the monitor?

Let's check the gate.

I want to check the gate.

Let's check the gate.

I want to check the gate on

that.

How am I doing, John?

You're fine, man.

No.

Listen, John, he took the

wallet out, he gave it to me--

Kev, Kev, Kev, Kev.

You cannot add [bleep] to the

script.

What are you-- John, first

of all, stop.

Okay, Build-A-Bear was comedic

genius.

That's childish.

Yes, that bull[bleep] is not

genius, Kevin.

It's not comedic.

Only someone with a

Build-A-Bear for brains would

think that bull[bleep] was

genius.

Hello, John.

Everybody stop doing what

you're doing.

Make some noise right now for

Miss Regina Hall, everybody.

Come on now.

Oh, my girl.

Your ears must be burning.

We were just talking about you

'cause I said, hey--

No, Kevin, Kevin.

I got the part.

Let me finish.

What I was saying was that they

need to get you.

They hire you.

Kevin!

Who said that?

Kevin! Kevin!

You told me that I was going

to play Chicle.

Okay, uh--

We're never gonna make these

days.

When did I say that?

You told me last night when I

came to your house at 3:00 in

the morning butt-ass naked.

That's when you said it to me.

Listen to me.

You need to pay attention,

sweetie.

I said George Clooney movie,

not Lopez, babe.

Oh, hi!

Oh, papi, I love

George Clooney Lopez.

I know you do.

You can't put two last names

on it like that.

It's just-- look, okay, forget

it, doesn't matter.

Babe, say hi to Regina, please.

Oh, my God, Kevin, that is

Regina King!

Hi, Regina!

Come here, come here.

Uh, Regina--

Papi, you don't tell me.

Okay, I know, I know.

Listen-- 'cause you're doing

such a great job right now,

I want you to go to my trailer.

I've got a case of moscato--

Oh, no, Papi, I already drank

the moscato.

I need more.

You drank the whole damn--

I drank the whole case of the

moscato, you know I drink

moscato.

Okay, baby, I don't want to

fight with you 'cause you look

good, you look so good today.

Okay, Papi.

[both moaning]

You remember last night?

[both moaning]

[both laugh]

Uh-- [clears throat]

She-- she's some stiff

competition, that's...

I can see how stiff by your

pants.

[both laugh]

I'm sorry 'bout that.

All right, I'll see you later,

Regina.

Bye, Kevin.

Uh...

You bust that piñata yet?

Charmagne?

Let me tell you something.

I've been busting that piñata

for damn near three years.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

When Chicle was kissing you,

man, Regina was jealous.

That's all I'm saying.

Oh-- oh, wait, you-- you were

talking about Regina.

Kevin Hart is just one sexual

harassment charge away from

Charlie Murphy getting this

part.

[bell rings]

Mm, that was fun.

Yeah, it was, baby.

Can't wait to do it again in

six months when I get out.

Mm, I can't wait either.

[both laugh]

Mm-mm.

Girl, what you--

Cut!

Hey, hey--

What is he doing?

What's the problem?

There's no kiss in the

script, and he is sticking his

tongue like I'm a lollipop.

Why are you complaining about

it when you done kiss in

"About Last Night" all the time?

And they paid me extra for

that.

You need to slow it down.

You need to slow it down.

You talking to the star.

Save our energy for this love

scene that's coming up.

Wha-- wait.

What love scene?

You didn't get the pages?

No, Kevin, I didn't get the

love scene pages.

What?

What is he talking about,

John?

I am not aware of this.

We have a script, okay?

You have to understand.

The same way that they make

sure I get my pages, your people

need to make sure that you get

the pages, bottom line.

You know what?

Kevin, these miraculous miracle

pages that have you kissing and

groping me--

I'm not gonna do this.

You deal with her.

I don't have--

He needs to deal with you.

Give me a second, man.

Hey, you some type of set perv?

What the hell are you doing,

man? Hey!

What the-- Hey, John!

Stop. Stop!

What the hell are you doing,

man?

Why are you around here looking

at me like this?

You didn't know who I am?

No, I don't know who you are.

I'm Spoken Reasons.

I'm shadowing you.

Man, what the hell are you

talking about shadowing me?

I'm the star of

"Falling Legend."

You know, the movie that you

were supposed to do with your

friends, but you sold out and

wanted to do it with a stranger.

So they hired me to be

a better you.

First of all, there is no

such thing as being a better me.

First of all, there is no

such thing as a better me.

I need to go higher, right?

Stop.

Listen, you're gonna make--

Listen, you're gonna make me

mad.

Okay, I'm not playing.

You think I'm--

You-- you--

Stop it!

You got--

Kev.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

John, don't hate me, hate

him.

We have to work.

Kevin, we gotta work!

We don't have time for this

[bleep].

It's him!

Him!

We gotta work.

We gotta work, come on.

John, I need five.

I need five.

He's your protégé?

[growls]

Where are you going?

Get outta here!

All right, so this is the money

right here.

We're doing the nude scene.

Then, we're gonna do coverage.

We're gonna do different angles,

like, in bed--

What nude scene?

Kevin on top,

Regina on the bottom.

Regina on top,

Kev on the bottom.

John, I am not doing a

nude scene!

It is not in my contract,

and I'm not doing a nude scene.

Hang on a second-- can we get

Regina the new pages that have

the nude scene in it?

Since I'm Adonis, I'll go

ahead and go first.

Watch out, John.

I'll go first.

And it's out.

We're halfway--

we're halfway there.

It's nothing.

Here it is.

I didn't know it was that

cold in here.

Oh, that's just 'cause the AC

on-- once you turn this off,

this thing gonna flow.

Regina, listen.

This is ridiculous.

We're not even shooting.

We got a limited budget,

okay?

John, John, John.

She gotta get it together, man.

She's getting it.

Look at me! Look, look.

I'm ready.

You go get oiled up.

Come on-- makeup!

Go-- go-- go stand over here.

I don't want to touch you.

Just go get oiled up.

Can everybody just calm down?

Call Vincent Cirrincione,

and get 15 black girls down

here that'll take their clothes

off for five minutes, okay?

That is so disrespectful--

Everybody needs to calm down.

That is so disrespectful.

I got you.

I ain't trying to be a

[bleep].

Give me two minutes.

Hey, tell them to cut the air

off... so it can get real

around here.

Can I talk to you for a

second?

What's up?

Listen, man.

This is your chance to get

Regina.

Stick up for her.

Get in John's ass.

All right, to get into those

chones, you got to have

cojones.

Huh?

Cojones, balls.

I understood everything until

those last "C" words.

Cojones-- come on.

Get John in here, and get back

in his ass.

Get in his ass.

Regina. Regina.

Look at me.

Hang up the phone.

Hey, uh-- hey, John, can I talk

to you for a second?

Get in his ass.

What? Come on.

Did y'all solve this, or what?

Hey, John!

I said, "Can I talk to you?"

Why are you raising your

voice?

Because I ain't no baby boy.

We about to get into some higher

learning around here.

Real fast and furious.

Here's the deal.

And take it as I put it.

You fire her, you fire me!

You understand that?

Do you really think you're

irreplaceable?

Irresistible.

That's what I am.

Look at me.

And I'm talking about all of me.

You know what?

Look at it.

Surprise, mitches.

Surprise what?

Surprise.

Surprise me?

I got a surprise for you,

big man.

I got a surprise- what?

Surprise, mitches.

Hey, Regina.

Oh, you dirty mother--

What's up, Kev?

You got some nerve showing up

on my set trying to replace me,

Mike?

You been jealous of me

from the start.

Is that right?

Yeah, that is right, Mike.

You must think that this is

another day day.

Kevin, you done got cute,

man.

Hey, Mike, don't touch my

face.

I'm still trying to figure

out-- how did you get this much

success?

'Cause you a overnight

Internet sensation.

All these movies that you're

doing look like one straight

sheet of [bleep].

You wanna be me, Kevin.

I wanna be you?

Now, you're doing a movie

with Ice Cube.

I did a movie with Regina.

You're doing a movie

with Regina.

We cannot count

"The Honeymooners" as a movie.

That was a long-winded play.

You know what you just did?

What? What?

You just lost your daughter's

friend.

Your daughter and my daughter's

days of hanging out are done.

Every time my daughter come

over to your house, she gets a

cold.

'Cause your daughter don't

ever have no socks!

You are a turtle without a

shell.

You better save all your money--

Regina, sit down!

[bleep] damn it!

I seen you in a Nix Check

Cashing commercial the other

day.

That was a favor.

It was a favor.

Your whole career is a favor.

Guess what you just did.

You just bailed John Singleton

out because this is his last

favor.

Me doing "47 1/2 Hours" was a

[bleep] favor.

Regina, get up!

I didn't ask for you.

You shut up.

George wanted you in this--

Regina, let's go, get up.

Why you getting dressed?

We storming out!

I'm [bleep] saving you!

Get your ass on.

Bye, Mike.

Yep, Kevin, there's a new

sheriff in town.

That's lunch.

♪ [soft piano]

I don't know, maybe I should

have just gotten naked.

I mean, I've been naked.

A lot.

Listen, stop.

That's your body.

That's your body, that's

your temple, and if you don't

feel comfortable, then don't do

it.

I know, but I'm just--

I'm remodeling my kitchen,

and I could have used the money

to stay in a nice hotel room,

and...

Well--

Pamper myself, and--

I'mma throw this out there.

You can receive it, or you can

reject it, but I actually

live in a hotel, right?

And rather than you going and

spending money on a hotel,

what you can do is come stay

with me in my little penthouse.

It's a little decked-out, plush

thing.

Literally, some have called it

"somewhat amazing."

Put you up right.

I can do that if you want me to.

Oh, yeah?

Yes, what?

Wait.

I'm being serious.

You can stay at my place.

Wow, Kevin, I don't--

I guess I had you pegged wrong.

What does that mean?

I mean, I thought of you

always as, like, a silly, you

know, self-centered simpleton.

Okay, now-- all right now,

hold on.

Let's hurry up and clean it up.

But I was wrong.

And you really are just a

kind...

Yes, I am.

I am kind.

Generous...

I'm very gener-ish.

Gener-- generous.

Generous.

Gener-ish?

Gener-ish.

And the way you stood up

for me today...

[laughs]

Those are my muscles.

Ah!

[both laugh]

Courageous.

I'm courageous.

I really want to get on top

of you right now.

What are you-- what are

you-- what are you talking

about?

Wait.

You-- you joking, or are you

serious?

I'm serious.

[laughs]

I can't believe I'm saying it.

What is that?

[chuckles]

Let me-- let me get the check!

Get it.

You about to get it.

[knocking on door]

Give it to me.

Let's stop playing games.

Don't-- don't motorboat.

[knocking on door]

Oh, I'm about to get up in

that hole.

Who is it?

Kev!

Wait, let me-- let me get it.

No, no, no.

Just let me go get it.

Let me go get it.

No, get this.

Okay, don't motorboat.

Don't motorboat.

Oh...

Mm-mm!

I'm gonna get it.

Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm!

No! Oh.

Oh, God.

Hold on!

Wait a second.

What the hell are you doing

here, George?

What am I doing here?

Is that any way to thank me?

Thank you for what? Blocking?

No, blocking.

You know why you're here?

Because the guy that y'all hired

to replace me is doing what

Kevin Hart does.

Listen, man, that dude

snapped and went off on John,

man.

I thought you wanted some good

news.

I saved your job.

'Cause you saved my job.

Tell me how.

I had to cuss John

Singleton's ass out.

Talking about I can't say

"Build-A-Bear."

Who the hell he think he is?

Spike Lee or some-damn-body?

Pssh.

George, are you saying that

you got our jobs back?

You guys got your jobs back.

Come on, we gotta go.

Why are your nipples hard?

I was-- I was in the

refrigerator with my shirt--

Can we go now?

Do you have your car?

My car's out front.

This is amazing.

Hold on, Regina-- no, no, no.

Wait, I want to show you

something.

And I was gonna say no.

I was faking, no, no--

No!

I was!

Listen, I gotta go!

No-- [sighs]

Listen, man, what's with all

the aggressive behavior?

You need to...

you were so close.

That's two Viagra pills down

the drain.

I can probably get them back.

[retching]

You know, I was serious about

staying at your place during my

remodel, right?

Yes, I was serious too.

[laughs]

You are so sweet.

Mm.

[both chuckle]

Go ahead, Kev.

All right, let's do this.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Come on, enough of that.

Save it for the trailer,

lunchtime.

This is what's happening

in this scene.

Kev, you're gonna jump in the

car, and you're gonna start

to take off.

Regina.

Crazy, distraught.

You're gonna come in.

You're gonna try to stop him.

You're gonna jump in the front,

causing you to slam on the

brakes.

And you can relax, we're gonna

get the master shot with the

stunt-person.

Oh, boy, hang on.

Tom Cruise don't have a

stuntman, he does his own

stunts.

Come on.

Hey, John, you know what,

man?

I don't need no stunt guy

for this.

Yeah, I can do this.

Let the professionals do th--

Look, John, as a producer,

I think Kevin can handle it.

Kevin, your feet do touch the

gas pedal, right?

I mean, it's a stretch, but--

It is a stretch.

We'll get an apple box.

He'll push the box.

Wait, wait, wait a minute.

John, no, no, no, no, wait,

wait, wa-- wait.

We gotta get the shot.

We're losing light, come on.

Come on, let's go, let's go.

Is somebody gonna at least

get him an apple box?

Yeah, let's go.

Yeah-- hold this for me?

Hey, John, make sure Regina

hits her mark!

George, watch out 'cause I

gotta stretch down.

And John, let's not go with the

apple box for the first one,

okay?

Okay, we'll do it

on the second.

Oh!

Where's the--

all right, I'm ready.

John, this is gonna be good,

man!

Hold it-- hey!

Get me in position here.

Let's make it happen.

Just give me a second to get

my head right, John.

Take your time, Kevin.

Come on!

Come on, Kevin.

Come on, you can do this.

You can do this.

Yeah, that's what I want

to see.

I want to see that face.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah.

Come on!

All right, hold.

You ready, Kev?

And--

Stunt life.

Action! Come on!

[tires screeching]

Bring it, bring it, bring it,

bring it.

So what's it like doing your

own stunts?

Man, what the hell you doing

in my car, man?

Hey, the dude looks just like

you!

Who the hell is that guy?

Oh, this is my stunt

double.

You shoulda got you one too.

Watch out! Watch out!

[screaming]

[thud!]

Ahh! Ahh-- oh!

Oh!

Oh, my God!

Regina?

Oh, God.

Regina!

Oh!

Regina!

9-1-1!

Call a medic!

I told you we should have got

the apple box, George.

I got your hair.

Was it on your chin?

I don't know where it was.

No, God, don't take her.

[sobs]

Don't you take her, God!

I want to lay in the casket

with her, George.

Are you all right?

Please say you're okay.

Are you okay?

I can't-- I can't move

my legs.

Can't feel your-- George,

she can't feel her legs!

Get a medic!

Your arms, what about your

arms? Are your arms okay?

Are they all right?

Oh, God!

Right in the throat.

[screams]

You know what? If we can

find someone who fits this

shoe, I think we should just

recast.

[bell rings]

That's lunch. ♪ [upbeat music]