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Previously on
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"Real Husbands of Hollywood".
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Nick Cannon for
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Beverly Hills mayor.
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I would love it if you hosted
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my fundraiser.
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Yes.
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Wayne and I started dating
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about a year ago.
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In doing so, I violated
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one of my cardinal rules.
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Never date a game show host.
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You can forget about me
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endorsing you as mayor.
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Unless you running for the mayor
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of the crack of my ass.
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* This is the life
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♪ This is the life
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♪ Look at the life
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♪ This is the city where we
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♪ Party every night
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♪ We do it big
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♪ Diamonds and gold
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♪ Welcome to Hollywood ♪
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♪
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First and foremost, I would
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like to thank the LGBT
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Political Freedom committee
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And its chairman,
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Mr. George Takei.
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(cheering and applause)
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I wanna say thank you for your
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support for my upcoming
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fundraiser and my campaign for
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the mayor of Beverly Hills.
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We're all in this together,
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brother-- After all,
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gay is the new black.
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Uh... no, no, black's
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the same old black.
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Uh, and speaking of the same old
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black, give it up for your host,
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black-ass Kevin Hart.
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(cheering and applause)
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Imagine my surprise when
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Kevin contributed $25,000
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to my campaign and agreed
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to host the fundraiser.
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All of this after he swore to
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never support me running
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for anything.
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He's a good guy.
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Why you got
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so many microphones?
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You got these all up high.
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How am I supposed to talk
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like that?
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You don't need this many.
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All right, all right.
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Stop it, mindless sheep.
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(crowd gasping)
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Nick...
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I'm not doing your
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little stupid fundraiser
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on Saturday.
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(crowd groaning)
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Bomb, dropped it,
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boom.
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Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
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It's not gonna happen, man.
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I cut a check just to come all
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the way down here to say that
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to your face.
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Hey, I stopped that (bleep),
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though, didn't I?
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(laughing)
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Just like I'm about to stop
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payment on this whole
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endorsement.
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(crowd jeering)
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Jackie, box!
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♪
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Whoo!
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(crowd jeering)
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(boom box blasting music)
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(crowd booing)
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Oh, okay, you wanna boo me?
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Yo, then... boo this.
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This for you!
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For you!
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I've got two words for you,
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Kevin Hart:
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manscape.
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So now I don't have Kevin
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or the 25 grand.
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Wonder if Mariah would come
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out and support me.
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I'm already supporting him.
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♪
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Look at this, they got
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your ass trending worldwide.
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(laughing)
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(doorbell chiming)
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Oh, you need to manscape
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your ass, man.
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You need to manscape.
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Unh-unh.
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For real, man,
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this is nasty (bleep).
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Braid it.
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Here's your dry-cleaning,
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Mr. Hart.
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Oh, thank you, man.
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What the hell y'all
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do to my shirt?
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Oh, I'm sorry.
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I thought you wanted your
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clothes... fringed.
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I must be sick in the head.
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Sick in the head?
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What the hell does that--
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What's that supposed to mean,
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Jackie?
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Look what he did to my shirt.
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Damn.
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Look like Wolverine grabbed
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me just now.
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Hey, hey-hey!
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Hey, push the button, man.
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Don't you let it go down!
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Hold on!
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Darn it, mother--
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Come on, Kev.
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No, I-- no!
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♪
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Move on into...
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Russell, Russell.
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What's up?
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Dude, I've been calling
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you all day.
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You hear the phone ring?
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I didn't hear anything.
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I didn't hear the phone ring.
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What you mean, you didn't
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hear the phone.
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Russell, you ain't deaf... jam.
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(laughing)
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You stupid.
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You stupid knowing I'm stupid.
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Kev, Kev, I can't (bleep)
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right now, I'm busy, man.
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Hold on, let me get this
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straight.
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So you're telling me that
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you're too busy to deal with
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the hottest thing in Hollywood
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right now.
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Let me just do what
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I'm doing, I'm with my agent
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right now...
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Your agent?
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Yeah, we're having a meeting.
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Oh, my timing couldn't
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be better.
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I got a pitch, I'm gonna drop it
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on you right now.
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Here's the bomb, boom,
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it's about to blow up.
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"Krush Groove", Part Two,
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Russell's Revenge.
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Ask me who's gonna play Russell?
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Stop-- me.
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Sold already, but I'm gonna
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keep going.
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Listen, guess who I got
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to play Run?
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Kendrick Lamar.
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Course, he gonna cut
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the hair off, box don't work.
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And it ain't a good grade.
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I told you, that grade
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ain't good.
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Yeezy, we got him coming in
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to be Jam Master Jay.
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Wow.
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That's gonna be crazy.
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Rihanna, she's gonna
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be Sheila E.
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♪ Bad (bleep) on deck
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♪ Let me get low
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(laughing)
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Best part, Rick Ross gonna play
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all the Fat Boys.
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All of them!
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That mean you only gotta cast
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one-- Lunch Box.
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That's what he's going by
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in the movie.
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Yeah, Kev, it sounds like
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a great idea.
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It could probably make millions,
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no doubt, uh, only problem is
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I don't wanna work with you.
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Why?
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I guess that makes me
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sick in the head, right?
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What is with all this
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sick in the head stuff, man?
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Is everybody in here
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sick in the head?
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Yes!
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Oh.
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Let me sit my ass...
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Okay, sit down for a second.
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No, don't sit, don't sit.
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I'm glad he left.
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Look, you don't--
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Look, Kev, Kev.
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You don't get it.
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What don't I get, Russell?
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You done pissed everybody
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off, man.
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What are you talking about?>
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The rainbow community, man.
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You know what, Russell?
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Go tell Jesse Jackson, I don't
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give a (bleep) about them.
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I don't, man.
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The LGBT community.
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That's what you wanna talk
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about, the ladies that got big
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titties, huh?
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Look here, do me a favor,
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man, lose my number.
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'Cause I like LGBT's?
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Lose my number.
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So you don't like LGBT's?
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I'm not (bleep) fooling with
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you no more, go ahead, man.
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What is going on with you?
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Be happy.
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Well, somebody's RushCard
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bounced.
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(laughing)
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* This is the city
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♪ Where we party every night
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♪
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Can you make, uh,
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Saturday at the ArcLight?
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No, I'm busy on Saturday.
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What about Sunday,
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can we go Sunday?
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I... just sent you
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a confirmation.
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And I just received it, hmm.
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Hey, you know, as much as I love
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scheduling foreplay...
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(chuckling)
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Maybe we should share calendars.
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I'll show you mind
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if you show me yours.
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Nah... come here, girl.
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(chuckling)
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(door opening)
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Oh, I didn't know you kiss
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your dog in the mouth.
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Ah.
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Baby, I'm gonna let you get back
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to your pro-bono work.
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I'm black, I don't look like
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Sonny Bono, so somebody
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told you wrong.
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Oh, God.
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That's good, that's real good,
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Wayne.
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(chuckling)
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Yeah, I swear, I don't like him!
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I don't see what you see in him.
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He makes me laugh.
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Look, I ain't in no laughing
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mood right now, Trina.
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(Trina sighing)
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I just ran into Russell Simmons.
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You know what he told me?
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What?
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He told me I got
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the LBJ's on my ass.
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The what?
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Nick Cannon's goons.
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The LBJ's.
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Uh, the LBGT's, yes, I know,
292
00:06:56,300 --> 00:06:57,100
Nick told me about it.
293
00:06:57,100 --> 00:06:57,900
Look, I can't do anything
294
00:06:57,900 --> 00:06:58,700
for you, Kevin.
295
00:06:58,700 --> 00:06:59,530
What?
296
00:06:59,533 --> 00:07:00,373
You showed your ass to some
297
00:07:00,367 --> 00:07:01,267
of Hollywood's most important
298
00:07:01,267 --> 00:07:02,367
deal makers so right now,
299
00:07:02,367 --> 00:07:03,527
you're poison.
300
00:07:03,533 --> 00:07:04,673
If I were you,
301
00:07:04,667 --> 00:07:06,727
I'd take precaution.
302
00:07:06,733 --> 00:07:07,603
Okay, Trina, I ain't
303
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:08,430
got time for you to be showing
304
00:07:08,433 --> 00:07:09,503
your damn age.
305
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:10,600
That is a classic song.
306
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:11,400
Okay--
307
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:12,200
It's a classic group,
308
00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:13,070
and it will never be dated.
309
00:07:13,067 --> 00:07:13,797
Trina, what you did
310
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:14,630
in the '70s is your
311
00:07:14,633 --> 00:07:15,903
business, okay?
312
00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:17,330
This ain't about the BVD's.
313
00:07:17,333 --> 00:07:18,503
It's about the L-M-N-O-P's.
314
00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:20,400
And right now, I'm mad because
315
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:21,430
it's not like I mooned
316
00:07:21,433 --> 00:07:22,573
the damn DMV.
317
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:25,627
I mooned that N-I-C-K-A...
318
00:07:25,633 --> 00:07:27,433
Nick!
319
00:07:27,433 --> 00:07:28,233
That's who's behind
320
00:07:28,233 --> 00:07:29,603
this C-H-I-T.
321
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,070
Look, LGBT stands for
322
00:07:31,067 --> 00:07:32,297
lesbian, gay, bisexual,
323
00:07:32,300 --> 00:07:34,500
transgender, okay?
324
00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:35,470
So you're telling me that my
325
00:07:35,467 --> 00:07:36,397
apology to Roger Odell
326
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:37,470
didn't mean anything?
327
00:07:37,467 --> 00:07:39,067
You listen and you listen good.
328
00:07:39,067 --> 00:07:40,067
You call your goons off or I'm
329
00:07:40,067 --> 00:07:40,827
gonna whoop your ass.
330
00:07:40,833 --> 00:07:41,633
Whoop my ass?
331
00:07:41,633 --> 00:07:42,433
I'll move this table
332
00:07:42,433 --> 00:07:43,233
and whoop your ass right now.
333
00:07:43,233 --> 00:07:44,203
Would you move the table
334
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:45,400
Whoop the ass?
335
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:46,800
Yeah, uh-huh, exactly.
336
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:47,600
You ain't whooping nothing
337
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,170
and I ain't calling off nothing.
338
00:07:49,167 --> 00:07:50,267
Matter of fact, my goons are
339
00:07:50,267 --> 00:07:51,497
just getting started.
340
00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:52,300
What?
341
00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:53,200
Yeah, I'm calling everybody.
342
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:54,070
Call 'em.
343
00:07:54,067 --> 00:07:55,097
Anderson Cooper, Don Lemon,
344
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,230
Rachel Maddow.
345
00:07:56,233 --> 00:07:57,173
Wait a minute.
346
00:07:57,167 --> 00:07:58,567
Shaun T from "Hip Hop Abs."
347
00:07:58,567 --> 00:07:59,567
Now, it's too much.
348
00:07:59,567 --> 00:08:00,697
Ay, I'm even calling the big
349
00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:01,930
dude from "Modern Family."
350
00:08:01,933 --> 00:08:02,833
Now that's where you're
351
00:08:02,833 --> 00:08:03,673
drawing the line.
352
00:08:03,667 --> 00:08:05,067
'Cause he's straight.
353
00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:05,967
I did a show with him.
354
00:08:05,967 --> 00:08:06,767
I was on "Modern Family."
355
00:08:06,767 --> 00:08:07,697
We hung out.
356
00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:08,700
Hit strip clubs.
357
00:08:08,700 --> 00:08:09,570
Strip clubs?
358
00:08:09,567 --> 00:08:10,497
Well, you gonna be striping on
359
00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:11,470
Santa Monica Boulevard for lunch
360
00:08:11,467 --> 00:08:13,597
money if you don't make amends.
361
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:15,770
Strange for some change.
362
00:08:15,767 --> 00:08:16,627
All right, Nick-wad,
363
00:08:16,633 --> 00:08:18,233
You know what?
364
00:08:18,233 --> 00:08:19,073
I'm gonna do you a little
365
00:08:19,067 --> 00:08:20,367
fundraiser, Nick.
366
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,067
But it's not to make amends.
367
00:08:22,067 --> 00:08:23,097
'Cause everyone knows that
368
00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:25,800
I like... a womans.
369
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:28,200
Everybody.
370
00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:29,270
Put it in your mouth.
371
00:08:29,267 --> 00:08:30,567
I shoulda got a glass.
372
00:08:30,567 --> 00:08:31,867
All right, chocolate drop.
373
00:08:31,867 --> 00:08:33,327
Yeah, all right.
374
00:08:33,333 --> 00:08:34,603
I like you!
375
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,630
♪
376
00:08:37,633 --> 00:08:43,173
(chatter)
377
00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:52,130
You know the wonderful thing
378
00:08:52,133 --> 00:08:53,373
about being in a...
379
00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:54,497
grown-up relationship...
380
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:55,370
Mmm.
381
00:08:55,367 --> 00:08:56,627
... is you know who you are
382
00:08:56,633 --> 00:08:58,103
and where you're going.
383
00:08:58,100 --> 00:08:59,300
Yup, you're secure
384
00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:00,970
in your relationship.
385
00:09:00,967 --> 00:09:03,467
Not threatened by silly things
386
00:09:03,467 --> 00:09:05,127
that less secure couples
387
00:09:05,133 --> 00:09:06,803
are threatened by.
388
00:09:12,233 --> 00:09:13,173
You must be out
389
00:09:13,167 --> 00:09:14,167
of our damn mind.
390
00:09:14,167 --> 00:09:15,467
First off, whose lie is it
391
00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:16,697
anyway, huh?
392
00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:17,900
I thought you were busy.
393
00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:18,830
Kevin needs me and...
394
00:09:18,833 --> 00:09:19,803
Look at you.
395
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:21,500
I am busy, as are you.
396
00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:22,330
What the--
397
00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:23,333
this is a red carpet date.
398
00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:24,303
Red carpet.
399
00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:25,170
OH, I'm so sorry.
400
00:09:25,167 --> 00:09:26,427
You shouldn't have heard that.
401
00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:27,333
Yeah, well,
402
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:28,373
I'm on a business date.
403
00:09:28,367 --> 00:09:31,727
And we do share calendars.
404
00:09:31,733 --> 00:09:33,173
Personal calendars.
405
00:09:33,167 --> 00:09:34,067
Where'd you come from?
406
00:09:34,067 --> 00:09:35,397
Come on.
407
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:36,730
Yeah, yeah, well, we share
408
00:09:36,733 --> 00:09:39,373
Marie Callender's.
409
00:09:39,367 --> 00:09:40,267
Yeah.
410
00:09:40,267 --> 00:09:41,197
Pie? That's what you got?
411
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:42,300
Exactly.
412
00:09:42,300 --> 00:09:43,230
All right, Nick, stop wasting
413
00:09:43,233 --> 00:09:44,733
time, man, you here, I'm here.
414
00:09:44,733 --> 00:09:45,633
Time to get this thing started.
415
00:09:45,633 --> 00:09:46,433
I don't even need you
416
00:09:46,433 --> 00:09:47,233
no more, Kev.
417
00:09:47,233 --> 00:09:48,073
What are you talking about,
418
00:09:48,067 --> 00:09:48,927
you don't need me?
419
00:09:48,933 --> 00:09:49,833
I got Wayne Brady.
420
00:09:49,833 --> 00:09:50,633
What you mean you got
421
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:51,433
Wayne Brady?
422
00:09:51,433 --> 00:09:52,233
(whispering) Wayne Brady.
423
00:09:52,233 --> 00:09:53,203
What the hell's
424
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:54,070
Arsenio Hall, Jr. gonna do
425
00:09:54,067 --> 00:09:54,827
that I can't?
426
00:09:54,833 --> 00:09:55,633
Are you replacing me?
427
00:09:55,633 --> 00:09:56,433
Kev, I got something better
428
00:09:56,433 --> 00:09:57,433
for you.
429
00:09:57,433 --> 00:09:58,403
Well, what is it?
430
00:09:58,400 --> 00:09:59,470
Stop beating around the bush,
431
00:09:59,467 --> 00:10:00,267
Nick, just tell me what's
432
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,067
going on.
433
00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:01,867
You ever heard of
434
00:10:01,867 --> 00:10:02,667
"12 Years a Slave"?
435
00:10:02,667 --> 00:10:03,867
Yeah, Yeah, I heard of that.
436
00:10:03,867 --> 00:10:04,997
Highest bidder gets 12 hours
437
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,170
with Kevin Hart.
438
00:10:07,167 --> 00:10:08,227
I don't get it.
439
00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:11,033
I'm selling your ass.
440
00:10:11,033 --> 00:10:13,403
Are you auctioning me off?
441
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:14,500
You on the Cannon plantation,
442
00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:15,500
baby.
443
00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:16,830
What is that.
444
00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:18,303
What does that mean, Nick, you--
445
00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:19,470
Nick, you're auctioning me?
446
00:10:19,467 --> 00:10:20,827
I's a free man!
447
00:10:24,367 --> 00:10:27,427
♪
448
00:10:27,433 --> 00:10:28,973
Okay, that's it.
449
00:10:28,967 --> 00:10:30,097
I want you to take this.
450
00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:31,600
Whoa, good looking, Kev,
451
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,130
I was not expecting this today.
452
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,103
Jackie, they about to auction
453
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:35,130
me off in here.
454
00:10:35,133 --> 00:10:36,103
That's $5,000.
455
00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:37,170
I want you to take that money,
456
00:10:37,167 --> 00:10:38,267
I want you to bid on me,
457
00:10:38,267 --> 00:10:39,297
and I want you to buy me.
458
00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:40,200
You sure you might
459
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,100
not go for ten?
460
00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:42,770
Come on, you K. Hart, baby,
461
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:44,027
you K. Hart.
462
00:10:44,033 --> 00:10:44,903
You know what?
463
00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:46,600
Take the Black Card.
464
00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:47,500
All right?
465
00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:48,300
See that?
466
00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:49,070
Yeah, that way you keep up.
467
00:10:49,067 --> 00:10:49,967
There you go.
468
00:10:49,967 --> 00:10:50,767
Let me go find a position
469
00:10:50,767 --> 00:10:51,997
and get on this.
470
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,170
Yeah, hey, don't let them
471
00:10:53,167 --> 00:10:54,197
get me.
472
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:55,570
I got you.
473
00:10:55,567 --> 00:10:56,397
All right.
474
00:11:03,433 --> 00:11:06,333
Care to dance?
475
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:07,273
I'm waiting for
476
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:09,327
a Michael Jackson song.
477
00:11:09,333 --> 00:11:10,333
(applause)
478
00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:11,273
All right.
479
00:11:11,267 --> 00:11:12,427
Ready everybody, now.
480
00:11:12,433 --> 00:11:13,433
Before we auction off
481
00:11:13,433 --> 00:11:14,733
Kevin Hart, I would like to
482
00:11:14,733 --> 00:11:17,803
auction off my heart to a very
483
00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:22,070
special lady, Miss Trina Shaw.
484
00:11:22,067 --> 00:11:24,067
(music starts)
485
00:11:24,067 --> 00:11:28,627
♪ You
486
00:11:28,633 --> 00:11:31,073
♪ I'm talking to you Trina
487
00:11:31,067 --> 00:11:32,667
♪ Get your hands off of her
488
00:11:32,667 --> 00:11:35,227
♪ Light skin is so '93
489
00:11:35,233 --> 00:11:38,073
♪ Listen to me baby Trina
490
00:11:38,067 --> 00:11:40,897
♪ I just want you to know
491
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,830
♪ That I love you
492
00:11:42,833 --> 00:11:44,703
♪ And I need you baby
493
00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:45,870
♪ I'm sorry that
494
00:11:45,867 --> 00:11:47,727
♪ I showed up with her
495
00:11:47,733 --> 00:11:49,433
♪ No offense to you
496
00:11:49,433 --> 00:11:51,133
♪ He's a good dude too
497
00:11:51,133 --> 00:11:53,203
♪ Baby listen to me
498
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:54,400
♪ There's one thing
499
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,270
♪ That's been on my mind
500
00:11:56,267 --> 00:11:58,667
♪ And I've gotta let you know
501
00:11:58,667 --> 00:12:01,697
♪ It's my duty, it's my duty
502
00:12:01,700 --> 00:12:03,530
♪ It's my duty
503
00:12:03,533 --> 00:12:06,703
♪ To get on the busy booty
504
00:12:06,700 --> 00:12:09,730
♪ What yeah what yeah what unh
505
00:12:09,733 --> 00:12:11,973
♪ 2 Wayne coming right at you
506
00:12:11,967 --> 00:12:12,927
♪ Not a gangster
507
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:14,133
♪ So I never got you
508
00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:15,433
♪ Let me turn around girl
509
00:12:15,433 --> 00:12:16,603
♪ Look at them cheeks
510
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:17,900
♪ I'll be on every day
511
00:12:17,900 --> 00:12:19,470
♪ Of the week my myself
512
00:12:19,467 --> 00:12:20,727
♪ I don't have to explain
513
00:12:20,733 --> 00:12:22,303
♪ You can keep that chick out
514
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:23,300
♪ I'm 2 Wayne
515
00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:24,700
(microphone thudding)
516
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:27,270
(moaning)
517
00:12:27,267 --> 00:12:28,167
Come on, let's go, let's go,
518
00:12:28,167 --> 00:12:29,097
let's go, let's go, let's go,
519
00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:30,230
let's go, let's go.
520
00:12:30,233 --> 00:12:31,303
Y'all have a good night.
521
00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:32,270
Y'all look like each other.
522
00:12:32,267 --> 00:12:33,127
Vote for Nick.
523
00:12:33,133 --> 00:12:34,073
I know you're thinking, why
524
00:12:34,067 --> 00:12:35,097
would someone as together as
525
00:12:35,100 --> 00:12:36,400
Trina Shaw associate with
526
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:37,300
someone who has two
527
00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:38,730
personalities?
528
00:12:38,733 --> 00:12:40,273
One man can't handle me.
529
00:12:40,267 --> 00:12:41,567
2 Waynes.
530
00:12:41,567 --> 00:12:43,467
Wasn't that romantic?
531
00:12:43,467 --> 00:12:46,497
Anyone can use "2 Waynes."
532
00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:47,500
(chuckling)
533
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:48,430
Nasty.
534
00:12:48,433 --> 00:12:49,533
So we're gonna start off
535
00:12:49,533 --> 00:12:51,073
the auction with a very
536
00:12:51,067 --> 00:12:53,927
special item.
537
00:12:53,933 --> 00:12:55,573
It's called
538
00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:59,427
12 hours with Kevin Hart.
539
00:12:59,433 --> 00:13:00,733
Come on up, Kevin.
540
00:13:00,733 --> 00:13:02,573
Take center stage.
541
00:13:02,567 --> 00:13:04,197
(minimal applause)
542
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:08,100
The starting bid is $1,000
543
00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:11,500
for 12 hours with Kevin Hart.
544
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:14,770
Do I hear $1,000?
545
00:13:14,767 --> 00:13:15,697
Jackie?
546
00:13:15,700 --> 00:13:16,570
$1,000.
547
00:13:16,567 --> 00:13:17,667
Where you at, Jackie?
548
00:13:17,667 --> 00:13:19,067
Ooh!
549
00:13:19,067 --> 00:13:21,667
♪
550
00:13:21,667 --> 00:13:24,497
Rooms and drinks on me!
551
00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:25,570
Ha-ha!
552
00:13:25,567 --> 00:13:28,127
Now you ride, now you ride.
553
00:13:28,133 --> 00:13:32,203
Do I hear $100?
554
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:33,170
Okay, give me
555
00:13:33,167 --> 00:13:34,427
the microphone, man.
556
00:13:34,433 --> 00:13:35,403
Let me get everybody's attention
557
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:36,900
for a second, okay?
558
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:38,430
I know right now that you all
559
00:13:38,433 --> 00:13:39,673
are mad at me because you think
560
00:13:39,667 --> 00:13:41,227
I said something.
561
00:13:41,233 --> 00:13:42,303
When I said sick in the head,
562
00:13:42,300 --> 00:13:43,930
I wasn't talking about you.
563
00:13:43,933 --> 00:13:45,433
I don't care who you marry.
564
00:13:45,433 --> 00:13:46,273
That's-- that's you're
565
00:13:46,267 --> 00:13:48,797
prerogative, okay?
566
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:50,330
That's Bobby Brown, homie.
567
00:13:50,333 --> 00:13:51,633
Just to let you know, okay,
568
00:13:51,633 --> 00:13:53,203
I was really talking about
569
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,070
how dumb you guys are for voting
570
00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:56,297
for this (bleep).
571
00:13:56,300 --> 00:13:57,270
That's-- that's what I was
572
00:13:57,267 --> 00:13:58,467
really talking about.
573
00:13:58,467 --> 00:13:59,567
So if you guys are gonna be mad
574
00:13:59,567 --> 00:14:01,067
at me, be mad at me
575
00:14:01,067 --> 00:14:02,397
for the right reasons.
576
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:04,070
Not the wrong reasons.
577
00:14:04,067 --> 00:14:05,467
I just came out here to set the
578
00:14:05,467 --> 00:14:07,227
record straight.
579
00:14:07,233 --> 00:14:08,173
Not that the record
580
00:14:08,167 --> 00:14:10,067
can't be gay.
581
00:14:10,067 --> 00:14:13,767
'Cause it can.
582
00:14:13,767 --> 00:14:16,267
Do I hear $50?
583
00:14:16,267 --> 00:14:18,297
I bid five dollars.
584
00:14:18,300 --> 00:14:20,600
Sold!
585
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:22,630
To Lance Bass.
586
00:14:22,633 --> 00:14:24,733
(cheering and applause)
587
00:14:24,733 --> 00:14:27,173
Lance Bass?
588
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,070
I thought what you said about
589
00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:29,067
the 'N Sync performance at the
590
00:14:29,067 --> 00:14:30,727
VMA's was so funny,
591
00:14:30,733 --> 00:14:32,873
I just had to buy-buy-buy you,
592
00:14:32,867 --> 00:14:33,927
you're mine.
593
00:14:33,967 --> 00:14:34,967
Justin couldn't buy me?
594
00:14:34,967 --> 00:14:35,927
You're mine, Kevin,
595
00:14:35,933 --> 00:14:36,933
you're mine.
596
00:14:36,933 --> 00:14:38,073
Jackie!
597
00:14:40,733 --> 00:14:43,503
♪
598
00:14:49,633 --> 00:14:50,473
Where the hell you been,
599
00:14:50,467 --> 00:14:51,367
Jackie?
600
00:14:51,367 --> 00:14:52,497
Whoo, boy, the question is,
601
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:53,970
where were you at?
602
00:14:53,967 --> 00:14:56,127
That's all I wanna know... ha!
603
00:14:56,133 --> 00:14:57,073
You know what?
604
00:14:57,067 --> 00:14:57,927
Hey, Jackie, don't touch
605
00:14:57,933 --> 00:14:59,873
that, no.
606
00:14:59,867 --> 00:15:01,367
I thought you made it for me.
607
00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:02,327
I don't make it for you,
608
00:15:02,333 --> 00:15:03,133
and you don't live here.
609
00:15:03,133 --> 00:15:03,933
I don't know why you come here.
610
00:15:03,933 --> 00:15:04,733
Where's my money and where's my
611
00:15:04,733 --> 00:15:05,803
Black Card?
612
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:06,970
All right, Kevin, look man.
613
00:15:06,967 --> 00:15:09,667
Last night I was pumping bottles
614
00:15:09,667 --> 00:15:12,227
with all these models.
615
00:15:12,233 --> 00:15:14,073
Oh, man, you shoulda seen it.
616
00:15:14,067 --> 00:15:15,797
I don't know where...
617
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:17,270
I'm gonna find your stuff, man,
618
00:15:17,267 --> 00:15:18,167
I got it.
619
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,067
Yeah, well, you know what?
620
00:15:19,067 --> 00:15:20,067
I see it, I see where
621
00:15:20,067 --> 00:15:21,227
the $5,000 went.
622
00:15:21,233 --> 00:15:22,473
That's right here, so you can
623
00:15:22,467 --> 00:15:23,897
stop looking for that.
624
00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:24,800
Why don't you just look for my
625
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:25,900
Black Card?
626
00:15:25,900 --> 00:15:27,900
I'm looking in the pocket,
627
00:15:27,900 --> 00:15:28,730
now, I know she didn't go down
628
00:15:28,733 --> 00:15:31,473
that low.
629
00:15:31,467 --> 00:15:33,497
I ain't gonna lie to you, Kev.
630
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:34,830
That one in the red.
631
00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:36,433
She rolled me, man.
632
00:15:36,433 --> 00:15:37,333
You got rolled?
633
00:15:37,333 --> 00:15:38,273
Rolled.
634
00:15:38,267 --> 00:15:39,227
You know what, Jackie?
635
00:15:39,233 --> 00:15:40,133
I'm about to roll your ass
636
00:15:40,133 --> 00:15:41,303
myself, man.
637
00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:42,700
Thanks to you, I'm gonna miss my
638
00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:44,170
beloved Eagles kick the Raider's
639
00:15:44,167 --> 00:15:45,627
ass and on top of that...
640
00:15:45,633 --> 00:15:46,703
(doorbell chiming)
641
00:15:46,700 --> 00:15:47,800
...I gotta spend the whole day
642
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,200
with a dag-gone...
643
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,200
Raiders fan.
644
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,430
That's right.
645
00:15:52,433 --> 00:15:55,973
Oh-ho, an Eagles fan?
646
00:15:55,967 --> 00:15:57,327
I can tell by the panties.
647
00:15:57,333 --> 00:15:59,573
♪ About to be up in that ass
648
00:15:59,567 --> 00:16:02,397
♪
649
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:05,070
(loud chatter)
650
00:16:05,067 --> 00:16:06,267
Come on, tackle the mother
651
00:16:06,267 --> 00:16:07,267
(bleep)!
652
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:08,067
I mean, you're playing like
653
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:09,397
the Oakland (bleep).
654
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:10,870
Hey, hey, do you kiss your
655
00:16:10,867 --> 00:16:12,497
boyfriend with that mouth?
656
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:13,570
It's disgusting.
657
00:16:13,567 --> 00:16:14,497
Oakland fa--
658
00:16:14,500 --> 00:16:15,400
Uh, uh, uh, you say it,
659
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:16,200
I'll (bleep) you up.
660
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:17,070
Oh, really, you can say
661
00:16:17,067 --> 00:16:17,827
(bleep)...
662
00:16:17,833 --> 00:16:18,703
Yeah, I can, you can't,
663
00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:19,500
that's right.
664
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:20,300
That doesn't make any sense.
665
00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:21,400
Oh, yeah, my (bleep).
666
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:22,570
What did you just say?
667
00:16:22,567 --> 00:16:25,967
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
668
00:16:25,967 --> 00:16:27,067
Look, stop!
669
00:16:27,067 --> 00:16:28,927
Will you two queer (bleep)
670
00:16:28,933 --> 00:16:31,933
shut the (bleep) up, all right!
671
00:16:31,933 --> 00:16:32,833
I'm trying to watch the game
672
00:16:32,833 --> 00:16:33,773
too, damn!
673
00:16:33,767 --> 00:16:35,767
Ill... your breath.
674
00:16:35,767 --> 00:16:36,667
I'm gonna ill your ass.
675
00:16:36,667 --> 00:16:37,467
Ill.
676
00:16:37,467 --> 00:16:38,427
Yeah, ill, (bleep).
677
00:16:38,433 --> 00:16:39,333
Got it.
678
00:16:39,333 --> 00:16:40,333
Yeah!
679
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,633
Yes, yes!
680
00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:42,973
Hey!
681
00:16:42,967 --> 00:16:43,797
You either clean this (bleep)
682
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:44,870
off me or I'm gonna rip out your
683
00:16:44,867 --> 00:16:46,967
tongue and lick it off myself!
684
00:16:46,967 --> 00:16:47,867
Hey.
685
00:16:47,867 --> 00:16:49,067
You can actually do all that?
686
00:16:49,067 --> 00:16:49,927
Well, guess who's got
687
00:16:49,933 --> 00:16:51,203
bad timing?
688
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:52,130
You do!
689
00:16:52,133 --> 00:16:55,603
You do, you do, you do!
690
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:56,400
You're messing with a member of
691
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:57,500
the Money Team.
692
00:16:57,500 --> 00:16:58,630
I got Floyd Mayweather's
693
00:16:58,633 --> 00:17:00,073
personal lackey with me.
694
00:17:00,067 --> 00:17:01,767
You done stepped in it now.
695
00:17:01,767 --> 00:17:03,727
Jackie? Jackie!
696
00:17:03,733 --> 00:17:06,973
Jackie!
697
00:17:06,967 --> 00:17:08,297
He probably went to
698
00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:09,730
the bathroom, you better--
699
00:17:09,733 --> 00:17:10,703
Money Team, huh?
700
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:11,600
Yeah, the Money Team.
701
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:12,500
You about to cash out.
702
00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:13,430
What?
703
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:14,473
I'm gonna kick your ass!
704
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:15,397
Don't-- you get--
705
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,870
get your hands off of me.
706
00:17:18,867 --> 00:17:20,667
Wanna fight my friend?
707
00:17:20,667 --> 00:17:21,627
You gotta fight me.
708
00:17:21,633 --> 00:17:23,573
Yeah, you're gonna get it.
709
00:17:23,567 --> 00:17:25,067
Lance, you go low.
710
00:17:25,067 --> 00:17:26,067
What is that supposed to
711
00:17:26,067 --> 00:17:26,897
mean?
712
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:27,700
Everything isn't about
713
00:17:27,700 --> 00:17:28,500
being gay.
714
00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:29,830
(all shouting)
715
00:17:29,833 --> 00:17:31,133
(screaming)
716
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:34,673
♪
717
00:17:34,667 --> 00:17:35,467
What the hell were you
718
00:17:35,467 --> 00:17:36,867
thinking, man?
719
00:17:36,867 --> 00:17:38,067
I thought I could take him.
720
00:17:38,067 --> 00:17:38,867
What you mean, you thought
721
00:17:38,867 --> 00:17:39,727
you could take him?
722
00:17:39,733 --> 00:17:40,673
You couldn't even take
723
00:17:40,667 --> 00:17:41,597
Joey Fatone and he's fat
724
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:42,570
and fat and not toned.
725
00:17:42,567 --> 00:17:43,927
Look, I bought you.
726
00:17:43,933 --> 00:17:44,833
I'm responsible for you.
727
00:17:44,833 --> 00:17:45,933
You bought me?
728
00:17:45,933 --> 00:17:46,733
Let me tell you something,
729
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:48,073
that is wrong on so many levels.
730
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,367
I'm just gonna ignore that.
731
00:17:49,367 --> 00:17:50,327
Newsflash, Lance.
732
00:17:50,333 --> 00:17:51,203
I wasn't even gonna fight
733
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,070
the guy.
734
00:17:52,067 --> 00:17:53,527
I was just talking (bleep), man.
735
00:17:53,533 --> 00:17:54,573
That's what I do.
736
00:17:54,567 --> 00:17:55,597
Everybody knows that.
737
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:56,870
I talk (bleep)!
738
00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,427
Real men talk (bleep).
739
00:17:58,433 --> 00:17:59,473
Are you trying to say because
740
00:17:59,467 --> 00:18:01,397
I'm gay, I'm not a real man?
741
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:02,530
I talk (bleep).
742
00:18:02,533 --> 00:18:03,373
Some people say I talk too
743
00:18:03,367 --> 00:18:04,127
much (bleep) you little piece
744
00:18:04,133 --> 00:18:04,933
of (bleep).
745
00:18:04,933 --> 00:18:05,903
What?
746
00:18:05,900 --> 00:18:08,300
Ask my boo, he'll tell you.
747
00:18:08,300 --> 00:18:09,830
Hi, Kev.
748
00:18:09,833 --> 00:18:10,673
Where you at?
749
00:18:10,667 --> 00:18:11,627
Turn that way.
750
00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:12,603
I got something to talk to
751
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:13,430
you about.
752
00:18:13,433 --> 00:18:14,333
Right here.
753
00:18:14,333 --> 00:18:15,203
On my swollen side?
754
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:16,170
I'm right here, Kevin,
755
00:18:16,167 --> 00:18:17,067
what are you talking about?
756
00:18:17,067 --> 00:18:17,967
Hey, you are about to get
757
00:18:17,967 --> 00:18:18,827
a piece of my mind.
758
00:18:18,833 --> 00:18:20,073
What happened to you, Jackie?
759
00:18:20,067 --> 00:18:20,967
No, no-no-no,
760
00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:22,227
what happened to y'all?
761
00:18:22,233 --> 00:18:23,133
What?
762
00:18:23,133 --> 00:18:24,203
This is bad.
763
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:25,530
Yeah, I bet it is, Jackie.
764
00:18:25,533 --> 00:18:26,373
Whoa.
765
00:18:26,367 --> 00:18:27,167
Where was you at?
766
00:18:27,167 --> 00:18:27,967
Look, man, y'all was making
767
00:18:27,967 --> 00:18:28,767
too much noise, okay?
768
00:18:28,767 --> 00:18:29,597
So I go up in the balcony
769
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:30,400
to get a tan.
770
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:31,300
A tan?
771
00:18:31,300 --> 00:18:32,100
Yes.
772
00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:32,930
Newsflash, that's
773
00:18:32,933 --> 00:18:33,803
not what we do,
774
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:34,700
that's what him people do.
775
00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:35,500
No-no-no, guys, I got one
776
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:37,700
word for you: counseling.
777
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:38,900
Look, I gotta go, all right?
778
00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:39,830
Kevin Hart, I have to say
779
00:18:39,833 --> 00:18:41,503
this is the best five dollars
780
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:42,800
I've ever spent.
781
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:43,870
Same time next week?
782
00:18:43,867 --> 00:18:44,827
There's no same time.
783
00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:45,773
Get your ass out.
784
00:18:45,767 --> 00:18:46,697
What, I thought we had fun.
785
00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:47,730
This wasn't fun.
786
00:18:47,733 --> 00:18:49,073
Let's go over the reasons why.
787
00:18:49,067 --> 00:18:50,867
I got $5,000 stolen from me.
788
00:18:50,867 --> 00:18:51,727
Don't know where
789
00:18:51,733 --> 00:18:52,803
my Black Card is.
790
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:53,970
On top of that, sniff some
791
00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:55,097
pennies, was left what seemed
792
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:57,070
to be a herpe on my lip.
793
00:18:57,067 --> 00:18:58,697
Now, if I go out with you again,
794
00:18:58,700 --> 00:18:59,770
Lance, that would mean that
795
00:18:59,767 --> 00:19:00,797
I would have to be
796
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:01,800
sick in the head.
797
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:02,970
Ha-ha!
798
00:19:02,967 --> 00:19:03,727
Huh?
799
00:19:04,467 --> 00:19:09,327
♪
47816
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