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♪ This is the life
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♪ We've got the life
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♪ This is the city
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♪ Where we party every night
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♪ Party every night
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♪ We do indeed
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♪ Now let's go
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♪ Welcome to Hollywood ♪
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[overlapping chatter]
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Do you know if it's a boy
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or a girl?
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I can't tell.
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[man] Who's the dress by?
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It's couture.
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[woman] Eva, who's hosting?
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I'm hosting.
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It's at Tisha's though.
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Thank you, thank you.
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Hey.
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What's up, Eva?
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Oh, I see you went ahead
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and got that facelift I
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suggested-- It's cute.
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Now is not the time, now is
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not the time.
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Okay, I'm just messing with
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you, girl-- Calm down.
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Oh, God.
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All right, so where's Nicole?
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You didn't hear?
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She had to check herself into
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a hospital.
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What?
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Yeah, apparently she has this
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nut allergy
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and somebody sent her an
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almond butter cookie bouquet.
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Hmm, who would do that?
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She knew I was allergic to
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nuts.
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I'ma kill you, Tisha.
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I swear before God I'm gonna
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[bleep] you up.
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All right, I'll be back.
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All right.
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Hey, do you have any
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allergies, by the way?
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What?
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Never mind-- Do your
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interview-- It's okay.
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[overlapping chatter]
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Hi, I'm Roshumba Williams for
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the NCredible Network
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reporting live from the
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social event of the year,
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the baby shower of
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Hollywood's newest power couple
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Kevlita.
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And I just happen to be
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standing here
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with the man without whom
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none of this would be possible,
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the Kev in Kevlita, Kevin
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Hart.
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Thank you, Robitussin.
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Hey, what's going on, America?
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How's everybody doing?
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Kevlita Baby Food is good eating
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from the birth till they lay
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you down in the earth.
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That's what I'm talkin' about.
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You wanna try some?
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No.
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No, I know how you models
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are-- You need to eat.
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No, no, no.
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Don't you try to throw it up.
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Here.
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No, I'm cool.
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So Kevin, what do you say to
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your detractors who claim
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that this pregnancy is nothing
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but a brazen money grab?
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Well, I don't think my
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contract has ever said that
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because I haven't talked to them
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since I gave them money for the
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job they did.
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And as far as a money grab,
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let me tell you something.
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What y'all need to be grabbing
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is these Kevlita Baby Bonds,
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okay?
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And that's good at Penn State
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and the state pen!
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We out here doing it, baby.
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Yeah, I'm sure they'll mature
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faster than you will.
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Okay, Rwanda.
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My name is Roshumba, idiot.
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What kind of last name is
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that?
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Why would you do that?
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[man] Kevin! Hey!
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Hey.
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What's happening, man?
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What's going on?
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Yo, yo, why the hell are we
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here?
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First of all, I'm thinkin'
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the same damn thing.
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Why aren't you wearin' the
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Armani suits that I sent you?
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Listen, that is a major
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sponsor of mine.
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Y'all are costing me a lot of
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money right now.
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What money are you talking
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about?
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I didn't get no damn check.
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I got my own clothing line.
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How am I gonna wear Armani?
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World of Alpha.com, you know it.
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Okay, Boris, that is the last
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time you're gonna plug that.
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Yo, besides all that, man,
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this ain't no wedding, this
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is a baby shower.
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So, then why the hell you
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come dressed like you live
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in Gotham City, Batman?
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Hey, look, baby shower,
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funeral, same attire, Joker.
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Joker?
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[overlapping chatter]
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This is a tie-dyed sponsor
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with a light linen pant.
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You are ridiculous.
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What's up, [bleep] monster?
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This is some straight mitch
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[bleep].
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Four men and a baby shower.
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[overlapping chatter]
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Hi, Kevin.
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Oh, my God.
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Okay, listen, listen.
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Uh-uh.
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What is that?
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[man] Nadine, come, mija.
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Why does it taste like guava?
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Ooh-wee! Yo, you know what?
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I don't know about the baby
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shower, but I do see my future
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baby mama.
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Trouble, trouble.
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Trouble?
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Trouble.
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I like trouble.
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No, you don't.
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Kevin, I need to talk to you
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right now.
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What you need to do is lower
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your tone in front
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of all of these people.
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Listen, come on.
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Ow! Trina-- Ow!
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Damn you-- Ow!
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Stop it, Trina, you hurting me!
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This is nothing compared to
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what Selita is going to
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do to you.
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Did you get the pre-bump
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agreement?
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Did you get her to sign it?
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I'm not going to ask no black
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woman to sign no pre-bump.
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What, are you trying to get me
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a pre-bump on the head?
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No, I'm not.
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I'm tryin' to look out for you.
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I am the only one trying to
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look out-- Look around you.
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Will you stop overreacting,
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Trina?
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It is not that serious.
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We are just havin' a baby.
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It's not like we getting
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married.
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No, but you are cohabitating
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and--
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Let me stop you right there.
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Let me stop you right there
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'cause you sound ignorant.
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Cohabitating is when a bear and
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a lion take a walk and go
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take a nap in a cave.
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That's what cohabitating is.
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Okay.
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I think you're referring to the
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word "hibernate."
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I think you're wrong again.
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But that is not between a
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bear and a lion--
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Hibernate-- hibernate is when
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it's one animal.
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It's when it's one.
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Co is when it's two.
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What, did you go to school?
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Did you?
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Okay, fine, fine.
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You are cohibernating in
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California
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and this is a palimony state,
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which means that when things go
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south, you are going to
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have to pay, pal.
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Listen, we're shacking up in
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California.
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And?
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It's a palimony state.
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Which means that I'm going to
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make a pile of money!
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I'ma keep you.
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You know what I'm saying?
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You know I get a percentage.
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All right, so I'm going to
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need you two to sign right here
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and right here
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and the baby shower of the
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century will officially
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be on the NCredible Network.
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Nick.
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Love the doing business with
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you, Nick.
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Who gets the check?
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Oh, I'll take-- Hey!
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That would be me-- Thank you.
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$4.5 million.
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Yeah.
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I would have preferred cash,
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Nick.
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[laughing]
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Remember when we broke up
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and I said I wish you would die?
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I do.
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Yeah, um, I'm glad you
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didn't.
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Didn't I tell you don't
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use my bathroom upstairs?
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Oh, what in the Fudgsicle is
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going on in here?
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♪
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Why you in there hugging
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Nick?
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It was a friendly hug.
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That didn't look like no
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friendly hug.
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It looked like a nasty hug.
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Oh, don't be ridiculous.
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I'm carrying your babies.
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I don't like it and that's
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how I feel.
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Baby.
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What?
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If I see you doing it again,
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I'ma get a blood test.
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[laughing]
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You're so cute when you're
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jealous, honey.
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Come on.
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Oh.
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Uh, what kind of freaky baby
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shower is this?
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It's performance art,
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darling.
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It's called Labor Pains.
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She gonna have a bunch of
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pain with her thong in her ass
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if that's the case.
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♪
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I don't like none of this.
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All this, look like a--
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Oh, Lord, that's the only thing
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going good in here.
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Trouble, trouble.
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Can I offer you fellas a
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vagatini?
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I sure will take one.
289
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:32,794
Wet.
290
00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:33,663
Always.
291
00:06:33,655 --> 00:06:34,475
Always?
292
00:06:34,482 --> 00:06:35,172
Mm-hmm.
293
00:06:35,172 --> 00:06:35,902
My wife's a vegetarian.
294
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:36,546
Did she say always?
295
00:06:36,551 --> 00:06:37,241
To my wife Shahida.
296
00:06:37,241 --> 00:06:37,931
Oh, please.
297
00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:38,661
Close your mouths-- You're
298
00:06:38,655 --> 00:06:39,275
about to catch something
299
00:06:39,275 --> 00:06:39,925
you don't want.
300
00:06:39,931 --> 00:06:40,591
What?
301
00:06:40,586 --> 00:06:41,446
An ass whooping.
302
00:06:41,448 --> 00:06:43,238
Oh, Lord. Oh!
303
00:06:43,241 --> 00:06:44,381
See, that's why I don't even
304
00:06:44,379 --> 00:06:45,069
look.
305
00:06:45,068 --> 00:06:46,588
Ti-Ti, it was them-- I wasn't
306
00:06:46,586 --> 00:06:47,276
looking.
307
00:06:47,275 --> 00:06:47,995
Nothing's going on over here.
308
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:48,660
I call her Visa.
309
00:06:48,655 --> 00:06:49,755
Why?
310
00:06:49,758 --> 00:06:50,548
Because she's everywhere you
311
00:06:50,551 --> 00:06:51,241
wanna be.
312
00:06:51,241 --> 00:06:52,001
Oh, [bleep], you need to
313
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,660
start carrying cash.
314
00:06:53,655 --> 00:06:54,615
[Selita] Whoo!
315
00:06:54,620 --> 00:06:56,480
Oh, baby, this my song.
316
00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:57,622
What-- What are you doing?
317
00:06:57,620 --> 00:06:59,000
Come on, Kev.
318
00:06:59,000 --> 00:06:59,790
Selita?
319
00:06:59,793 --> 00:07:01,343
Come get some of this, baby--
320
00:07:01,344 --> 00:07:02,244
Come get some of this.
321
00:07:02,241 --> 00:07:03,101
What are you doing?
322
00:07:03,103 --> 00:07:05,793
No! What you-- What you-- No!
323
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:06,693
Look at me.
324
00:07:06,689 --> 00:07:07,689
What, I'm dancing.
325
00:07:07,689 --> 00:07:09,379
No, you're not dan-- Girl,
326
00:07:09,379 --> 00:07:10,409
you are twerking.
327
00:07:10,413 --> 00:07:11,073
Uh-huh.
328
00:07:11,068 --> 00:07:11,998
Stop, baby, you'll tweak the
329
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:12,790
babies.
330
00:07:12,793 --> 00:07:13,483
Oh, honey, please-- These
331
00:07:13,482 --> 00:07:14,212
Ebanks babies.
332
00:07:14,206 --> 00:07:14,996
I'm sorry-- what?
333
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:15,660
They're tough.
334
00:07:15,655 --> 00:07:16,475
No, no, those are Hart
335
00:07:16,482 --> 00:07:17,522
babies, okay?
336
00:07:17,517 --> 00:07:18,687
Okay, you right.
337
00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:19,929
So that makes them baby mitches,
338
00:07:19,931 --> 00:07:20,591
right?
339
00:07:20,586 --> 00:07:21,336
I'm sorry, what did you just
340
00:07:21,344 --> 00:07:21,974
call my babies?
341
00:07:21,965 --> 00:07:23,305
Oh, relax, Kevin.
342
00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:25,210
Have fun.
343
00:07:25,206 --> 00:07:26,616
Oh, I'm sorry.
344
00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:30,170
Is fun bad for the babies too?
345
00:07:30,172 --> 00:07:31,102
I can't deal with your little
346
00:07:31,103 --> 00:07:32,003
ass.
347
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:32,900
Selita, I didn't say that--
348
00:07:32,896 --> 00:07:35,966
Selita!
349
00:07:35,965 --> 00:07:37,405
Don't you leave me on this damn
350
00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:39,623
floor by myself.
351
00:07:39,620 --> 00:07:40,970
Yeah, it's cool 'cause I'm just
352
00:07:40,965 --> 00:07:42,205
gonna pop that thing
353
00:07:42,206 --> 00:07:44,026
and make you jealous.
354
00:07:44,034 --> 00:07:45,284
Pop it.
355
00:07:45,275 --> 00:07:47,275
And I'm popped.
356
00:07:47,275 --> 00:07:48,065
Hi, Kevin.
357
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:48,968
Hey.
358
00:07:48,965 --> 00:07:49,925
Dance with me, Kevin.
359
00:07:49,931 --> 00:07:50,831
Hey, Nadine, I don't really
360
00:07:50,827 --> 00:07:52,277
think that's a good idea.
361
00:07:52,275 --> 00:07:53,065
Why?
362
00:07:53,068 --> 00:07:54,998
You know why, Nadine.
363
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,030
You mean, you don't want to
364
00:07:56,034 --> 00:07:58,284
join me in the bedroom?
365
00:07:58,275 --> 00:08:00,685
No, I just don't feel like
366
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:01,619
that's a-- that's a--
367
00:08:01,620 --> 00:08:02,860
I don't think that's a wise
368
00:08:02,862 --> 00:08:03,662
decision.
369
00:08:03,655 --> 00:08:05,165
Come on, Kevin.
370
00:08:05,172 --> 00:08:08,382
This may change your life.
371
00:08:08,379 --> 00:08:09,969
♪
372
00:08:09,965 --> 00:08:11,375
Uh...
373
00:08:11,379 --> 00:08:13,069
♪
374
00:08:13,068 --> 00:08:14,858
Hey, hey, hey, hey, you guys
375
00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:15,692
see that?
376
00:08:15,689 --> 00:08:16,589
See what?
377
00:08:16,586 --> 00:08:18,926
What are you seeing, JB?
378
00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:20,311
Know what? Nothing.
379
00:08:20,310 --> 00:08:21,520
Don't worry about it.
380
00:08:21,517 --> 00:08:22,997
[overlapping chatter]
381
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,660
Maybe he's using the head.
382
00:08:24,655 --> 00:08:26,165
♪
383
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:27,932
[laughing]
384
00:08:27,931 --> 00:08:29,241
I know you saw that.
385
00:08:29,241 --> 00:08:30,721
JB, see what?
386
00:08:30,724 --> 00:08:31,594
What are you talking about?
387
00:08:31,586 --> 00:08:32,616
What are you seeing, JB?
388
00:08:32,620 --> 00:08:34,240
Let's just say this baby
389
00:08:34,241 --> 00:08:35,761
shower about to turn into a
390
00:08:35,758 --> 00:08:37,378
tsunami.
391
00:08:37,379 --> 00:08:40,719
♪
392
00:08:40,724 --> 00:08:41,934
[quiet chatter]
393
00:08:41,931 --> 00:08:43,411
[Nadine] I was out of
394
00:08:43,413 --> 00:08:44,143
contact.
395
00:08:44,137 --> 00:08:46,857
Only in intensity can we stand.
396
00:08:46,862 --> 00:08:48,342
This is a spiritual technique
397
00:08:48,344 --> 00:08:49,004
that will reach you to
398
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:49,690
the stars--
399
00:08:49,689 --> 00:08:50,519
What kind of freaky [bleep]
400
00:08:50,517 --> 00:08:51,377
is going on here?
401
00:08:51,379 --> 00:08:52,339
Oh, Bridgette, thank God
402
00:08:52,344 --> 00:08:53,174
you're here!
403
00:08:53,172 --> 00:08:54,972
This here is Scientology stuff.
404
00:08:54,965 --> 00:08:56,305
And I'm talking about our God,
405
00:08:56,310 --> 00:08:57,660
not your God.
406
00:08:57,655 --> 00:08:59,025
That's close enough.
407
00:08:59,034 --> 00:09:00,104
Stop it.
408
00:09:00,103 --> 00:09:01,383
Bridgette, put him down.
409
00:09:01,379 --> 00:09:02,519
I will not.
410
00:09:02,517 --> 00:09:03,517
I got you, baby.
411
00:09:03,517 --> 00:09:04,167
Thank you.
412
00:09:04,172 --> 00:09:05,282
Nothing is going on here.
413
00:09:05,275 --> 00:09:06,165
We're having a spiritual
414
00:09:06,172 --> 00:09:06,902
clearing, that's all.
415
00:09:06,896 --> 00:09:07,786
Don't look her in the eye--
416
00:09:07,793 --> 00:09:08,453
Don't look her in the eye.
417
00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:09,618
I'm not joining nothing.
418
00:09:09,620 --> 00:09:10,760
Don't put that in my face.
419
00:09:10,758 --> 00:09:11,968
That's my book.
420
00:09:11,965 --> 00:09:12,925
You listen to me.
421
00:09:12,931 --> 00:09:14,001
We gonna get out of here.
422
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,100
And if you follow us, I'ma have
423
00:09:16,103 --> 00:09:17,593
seven Jehovah's Witnesses
424
00:09:17,586 --> 00:09:19,826
at your doorstep by 4 a.m.
425
00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:20,997
I put that on Kwanzaa-- Don't
426
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:21,930
you try me.
427
00:09:21,931 --> 00:09:22,761
Not her.
428
00:09:22,758 --> 00:09:23,588
Come on, baby.
429
00:09:23,586 --> 00:09:24,826
Kevin, come with me to the
430
00:09:24,827 --> 00:09:25,827
celebrity center.
431
00:09:25,827 --> 00:09:27,237
You come with you to hell!
432
00:09:27,241 --> 00:09:28,281
Kevin, if you start listening
433
00:09:28,275 --> 00:09:29,445
to me, I wouldn't have to
434
00:09:29,448 --> 00:09:30,138
save you from situations--
435
00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:32,827
Well, she-- I thought she was
436
00:09:32,827 --> 00:09:36,237
gonna go up there and get nasty.
437
00:09:36,241 --> 00:09:37,481
[overlapping chatter]
438
00:09:37,482 --> 00:09:38,832
[Tisha] Everybody, gather
439
00:09:38,827 --> 00:09:39,827
'round.
440
00:09:39,827 --> 00:09:40,927
Come on, you guys-- It's shower
441
00:09:40,931 --> 00:09:42,141
game time.
442
00:09:42,137 --> 00:09:44,307
[cheering, clapping]
443
00:09:44,310 --> 00:09:46,410
And our game master will be Mr.
444
00:09:46,413 --> 00:09:47,693
Eloquence!
445
00:09:47,689 --> 00:09:48,659
[cheers and applause]
446
00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:50,715
Thank you, Miss Tisha.
447
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:51,524
You're welcome.
448
00:09:51,517 --> 00:09:52,897
Well, hello, my children.
449
00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:54,826
It's time to play some baby
450
00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:56,207
shower games.
451
00:09:56,206 --> 00:09:57,406
[cheers and applause]
452
00:09:57,413 --> 00:09:58,973
Yes, are you excited?
453
00:09:58,965 --> 00:09:59,715
Yes!
454
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,104
Everybody excited?
455
00:10:01,103 --> 00:10:01,903
[cheering]
456
00:10:01,896 --> 00:10:02,926
Okay, that's what I wanted to
457
00:10:02,931 --> 00:10:03,761
hear.
458
00:10:03,758 --> 00:10:04,478
But, you know, I have news for
459
00:10:04,482 --> 00:10:06,282
you-- These shower games are
460
00:10:06,275 --> 00:10:08,995
not for babies.
461
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,340
What good is having a shower
462
00:10:10,344 --> 00:10:11,554
if you're not willing to get
463
00:10:11,551 --> 00:10:13,001
dirty, am I right, people?
464
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,030
[hooting and hollering]
465
00:10:14,034 --> 00:10:15,034
Okay.
466
00:10:15,034 --> 00:10:17,864
Our first game is called "A Hole
467
00:10:17,862 --> 00:10:19,032
in One."
468
00:10:19,034 --> 00:10:21,214
♪ See what type of games
469
00:10:21,206 --> 00:10:22,096
♪ You playing now
470
00:10:22,103 --> 00:10:23,213
♪ See what type of games
471
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:24,236
♪ You playing now
472
00:10:24,241 --> 00:10:25,171
♪ See what type of games
473
00:10:25,172 --> 00:10:26,212
♪ You playing now
474
00:10:26,206 --> 00:10:27,996
♪ Gotta make my next move
475
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,690
[Tisha] Stick it in the hole,
476
00:10:29,689 --> 00:10:30,449
yes!
477
00:10:30,448 --> 00:10:32,168
That's what I'm talking about.
478
00:10:32,172 --> 00:10:33,412
You gotta put it there!
479
00:10:33,413 --> 00:10:34,213
I can't get it in!
480
00:10:34,206 --> 00:10:35,066
Put it in!
481
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:35,898
Go, go!
482
00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:37,586
Get it, y'all.
483
00:10:37,586 --> 00:10:45,136
♪
484
00:10:45,137 --> 00:10:46,477
Everybody move!
485
00:10:46,482 --> 00:10:48,282
She pregnant-- Move!
486
00:10:48,275 --> 00:10:49,925
She pregnant!
487
00:10:49,931 --> 00:10:52,621
Yeah!
488
00:10:52,620 --> 00:10:54,970
[laughter]
489
00:10:54,965 --> 00:10:56,375
Yeah!
490
00:10:56,379 --> 00:10:58,479
We the winners!
491
00:10:58,482 --> 00:10:59,312
Yes!
492
00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:02,030
In your face!
493
00:11:02,034 --> 00:11:04,414
♪ You just got played
494
00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:06,413
♪ Checkmate
495
00:11:06,413 --> 00:11:07,663
♪ Check
496
00:11:07,655 --> 00:11:09,405
Now this game is called "Grab
497
00:11:09,413 --> 00:11:11,243
Some, Get Some."
498
00:11:11,241 --> 00:11:13,591
[cheers and applause]
499
00:11:13,586 --> 00:11:15,066
I see my guys have their
500
00:11:15,068 --> 00:11:16,068
blindfolds on.
501
00:11:16,068 --> 00:11:18,238
Now I need my ladies to mix it
502
00:11:18,241 --> 00:11:19,481
up.
503
00:11:19,482 --> 00:11:21,032
This is all about grabbing some
504
00:11:21,034 --> 00:11:23,484
new stuff.
505
00:11:23,482 --> 00:11:25,552
Now the idea of this game is to
506
00:11:25,551 --> 00:11:26,451
grab some
507
00:11:26,448 --> 00:11:28,828
and if you're lucky, get some.
508
00:11:28,827 --> 00:11:30,997
[cheers and applause]
509
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,860
Now I want you to grab as many
510
00:11:32,862 --> 00:11:34,692
clothespins as you can in
511
00:11:34,689 --> 00:11:37,449
30 seconds, so on my count--
512
00:11:37,448 --> 00:11:39,068
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No.
513
00:11:39,068 --> 00:11:39,998
Bridgette, you gotta move.
514
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:40,760
Well, Eloquence said we're
515
00:11:40,758 --> 00:11:41,338
supposed to mix it up.
516
00:11:41,344 --> 00:11:42,104
Move your thick ass outta the
517
00:11:42,103 --> 00:11:42,723
way!
518
00:11:42,724 --> 00:11:43,484
I don't want you in front of my
519
00:11:43,482 --> 00:11:44,032
man-- Move.
520
00:11:44,034 --> 00:11:44,724
Don't want nobody want
521
00:11:44,724 --> 00:11:45,384
Dwayne.
522
00:11:45,379 --> 00:11:46,589
Dwayne, you don't want to be
523
00:11:46,586 --> 00:11:48,856
in front of nobody else, right?
524
00:11:48,862 --> 00:11:50,382
I mean, I just want to go
525
00:11:50,379 --> 00:11:51,099
with what the rules are--
526
00:11:51,103 --> 00:11:52,033
Dwayne!
527
00:11:52,034 --> 00:11:52,834
I said no.
528
00:11:52,827 --> 00:11:53,717
She ain't in front of me, is
529
00:11:53,724 --> 00:11:54,384
she?
530
00:11:54,379 --> 00:11:55,099
Nelly, shut your ass up.
531
00:11:55,103 --> 00:11:55,863
Everybody, here we go,
532
00:11:55,862 --> 00:11:57,622
ready... Set....
533
00:11:57,620 --> 00:11:59,930
30 seconds and go!
534
00:11:59,931 --> 00:12:01,281
[cheering]
535
00:12:01,275 --> 00:12:03,095
Kevin, stay away from me!
536
00:12:03,103 --> 00:12:04,623
No, right here-- Not my face,
537
00:12:04,620 --> 00:12:05,830
fool-- You ain't got--
538
00:12:05,827 --> 00:12:07,307
What the hell are you doing?
539
00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:08,240
I don't think she got no
540
00:12:08,241 --> 00:12:09,031
clips on!
541
00:12:09,034 --> 00:12:10,724
No, get it, get it, get it,
542
00:12:10,724 --> 00:12:12,694
baby.
543
00:12:12,689 --> 00:12:14,279
Get it, baby, get it, baby!
544
00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:15,375
Get it, baby!
545
00:12:15,379 --> 00:12:18,339
I got it-- I got it!
546
00:12:18,344 --> 00:12:19,594
Yo, yo, yo, yo!
547
00:12:19,586 --> 00:12:21,786
[cheers and applause]
548
00:12:21,793 --> 00:12:23,173
♪ What I really want is
549
00:12:23,172 --> 00:12:24,312
♪ Cash and cars
550
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,340
♪ What I really want is
551
00:12:25,344 --> 00:12:26,594
♪ Diamond rings
552
00:12:26,586 --> 00:12:27,686
♪ And what I really want is
553
00:12:27,689 --> 00:12:28,719
♪ Somebody who can trust it
554
00:12:28,724 --> 00:12:29,414
♪ And never be--
555
00:12:29,413 --> 00:12:30,593
[Mr. Eloquence] [whistling]
556
00:12:30,586 --> 00:12:32,826
Oye!
557
00:12:32,827 --> 00:12:34,617
Gracias.
558
00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:36,830
Well, everyone, it's time to
559
00:12:36,827 --> 00:12:37,617
open gifts.
560
00:12:37,620 --> 00:12:40,380
[cheering]
561
00:12:40,379 --> 00:12:41,969
So I'd like to bring up our
562
00:12:41,965 --> 00:12:43,445
guest of honor here,
563
00:12:43,448 --> 00:12:44,408
Miss Selita.
564
00:12:44,413 --> 00:12:45,213
Would you come and take your
565
00:12:45,206 --> 00:12:46,586
seat here?
566
00:12:46,586 --> 00:12:51,336
[cheers and applause]
567
00:12:51,344 --> 00:12:52,834
[Kevin] That's mine.
568
00:12:52,827 --> 00:12:54,097
That's mine.
569
00:12:54,103 --> 00:12:55,413
[laughing]
570
00:12:55,413 --> 00:12:57,003
Okay, Miss Tisha, I think
571
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,280
we're ready for our first gift.
572
00:12:58,275 --> 00:12:59,065
Okay, let's--
573
00:12:59,068 --> 00:12:59,718
Hey, Tisha, let me
574
00:12:59,724 --> 00:13:00,484
stop you for a second, baby.
575
00:13:00,482 --> 00:13:01,172
I'ma start it off a little
576
00:13:01,172 --> 00:13:01,932
different.
577
00:13:01,931 --> 00:13:02,971
Uh, you know what?
578
00:13:02,965 --> 00:13:03,685
I think the first gift should be
579
00:13:03,689 --> 00:13:04,519
my gift.
580
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:05,757
Yeah, yeah.
581
00:13:05,758 --> 00:13:06,858
That's what I'm gonna do, babe.
582
00:13:06,862 --> 00:13:08,002
Babe, I just want to tell you
583
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,620
that having this baby
584
00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:11,000
is the securest decision that
585
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,590
you've made because I take care
586
00:13:12,586 --> 00:13:13,686
of mine, people, you hear me?
587
00:13:13,689 --> 00:13:14,449
[crowd] Aw...
588
00:13:14,448 --> 00:13:16,028
That's bottom line, guys.
589
00:13:16,034 --> 00:13:17,214
I want to say that I've already
590
00:13:17,206 --> 00:13:18,026
given you the biggest gift of
591
00:13:18,034 --> 00:13:19,764
all, which is my sperm.
592
00:13:19,758 --> 00:13:20,758
Ew!
593
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:23,068
But my second gift is just as
594
00:13:23,068 --> 00:13:24,278
amazing as the first.
595
00:13:24,275 --> 00:13:25,205
Ladies and gentlemen, make some
596
00:13:25,206 --> 00:13:26,066
noise for my gift.
597
00:13:26,068 --> 00:13:35,718
Erykah Badu!
598
00:13:35,724 --> 00:13:37,524
[cheering and applauding]
599
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:38,547
Hey, go sit down.
600
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:39,621
Go sit down!
601
00:13:39,620 --> 00:13:40,690
Sit.
602
00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:41,759
Sit your drunk ass down,
603
00:13:41,758 --> 00:13:42,408
Bridget.
604
00:13:42,413 --> 00:13:43,413
Sit down.
605
00:13:43,413 --> 00:13:44,903
Mother Earth is so pleased
606
00:13:44,896 --> 00:13:45,926
with your creation.
607
00:13:45,931 --> 00:13:47,001
Oh, thank you.
608
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,100
I just want you to know that.
609
00:13:48,103 --> 00:13:49,283
Thank you so much.
610
00:13:49,275 --> 00:13:50,275
Do you know what song I would
611
00:13:50,275 --> 00:13:51,205
love for you to sing for me?
612
00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:52,616
Oh, I'm not here to sing,
613
00:13:52,620 --> 00:13:53,280
sweetheart.
614
00:13:53,275 --> 00:13:54,235
You gotta pay for that.
615
00:13:54,241 --> 00:13:55,171
Pbbt!
616
00:13:55,172 --> 00:13:56,002
Excuse me?
617
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,000
Yeah, uh, that wasn't in the
618
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:57,690
budget, baby.
619
00:13:57,689 --> 00:13:58,759
What Erykah's gonna do is read
620
00:13:58,758 --> 00:13:59,448
our babies.
621
00:13:59,448 --> 00:14:00,098
Right.
622
00:14:00,103 --> 00:14:01,623
So much better than a song.
623
00:14:01,620 --> 00:14:02,310
Mm-hmm.
624
00:14:02,310 --> 00:14:03,860
How you gonna read our babies
625
00:14:03,862 --> 00:14:04,862
if they're not born yet?
626
00:14:04,862 --> 00:14:06,072
Oh, it's just simple.
627
00:14:06,068 --> 00:14:07,658
I just put my hand on your tummy
628
00:14:07,655 --> 00:14:09,925
and I feel their vibe.
629
00:14:09,931 --> 00:14:15,001
[spitting]
630
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:15,720
Hold up, how you gonna read
631
00:14:15,724 --> 00:14:16,724
our babies if they're not born
632
00:14:16,724 --> 00:14:17,484
yet?
633
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:18,482
Oh, it's just simple.
634
00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:20,072
I just put my hand on your tummy
635
00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:23,308
and I feel their vibe.
636
00:14:23,310 --> 00:14:24,760
[spitting]
637
00:14:24,758 --> 00:14:27,828
I need everybody to be quiet.
638
00:14:27,827 --> 00:14:28,587
You know what?
639
00:14:28,586 --> 00:14:29,446
[clearing her throat]
640
00:14:29,448 --> 00:14:30,758
I don't think today is a good
641
00:14:30,758 --> 00:14:32,068
day for a reading, actually.
642
00:14:32,068 --> 00:14:33,378
I'm really not feeling well.
643
00:14:33,379 --> 00:14:34,169
Baby, it's already been paid
644
00:14:34,172 --> 00:14:35,242
for-- Let her do it.
645
00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:36,381
[overlapping chatter]
646
00:14:36,379 --> 00:14:37,899
Selita, sit down-- Let her read.
647
00:14:37,896 --> 00:14:38,896
- No, no, I really gotta go.
648
00:14:38,896 --> 00:14:40,166
Please.
649
00:14:40,172 --> 00:14:41,102
Mercury is just out of
650
00:14:41,103 --> 00:14:41,973
retrograde.
651
00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:42,785
It's the best day for a reading.
652
00:14:42,793 --> 00:14:43,693
Please, I already cut the
653
00:14:43,689 --> 00:14:44,379
check.
654
00:14:44,379 --> 00:14:45,169
Please, have a seat.
655
00:14:45,172 --> 00:14:46,482
Please-- It's your day.
656
00:14:46,482 --> 00:14:48,482
Sit back and relax, okay?
657
00:14:48,482 --> 00:14:49,312
Okay.
658
00:14:49,310 --> 00:14:50,070
So, can I have some water?
659
00:14:50,068 --> 00:14:50,898
Yes.
660
00:14:50,896 --> 00:14:51,546
[J.B.] Her water broke!
661
00:14:51,551 --> 00:14:52,791
Her water broke, everybody!
662
00:14:52,793 --> 00:14:54,143
Get a hot towel.
663
00:14:54,137 --> 00:14:55,547
No, I just need some water
664
00:14:55,551 --> 00:14:56,971
for her to drink.
665
00:14:56,965 --> 00:14:58,135
That's-- Move, girl.
666
00:14:58,137 --> 00:14:59,097
Good, good, good-- Thank you.
667
00:14:59,103 --> 00:15:00,603
She can't drink that.
668
00:15:00,603 --> 00:15:01,383
And don't worry about
669
00:15:01,379 --> 00:15:02,409
anything-- I'm a doula.
670
00:15:02,413 --> 00:15:03,863
Oh, oh, don't touch me, then.
671
00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:05,102
Oh, I mean-- I'm sorry.
672
00:15:05,103 --> 00:15:06,053
I don't mean that.
673
00:15:06,051 --> 00:15:07,101
What I mean is that maybe if you
674
00:15:07,103 --> 00:15:08,553
sang me a song
675
00:15:08,551 --> 00:15:10,001
that I would feel better.
676
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:10,830
Yes, song!
677
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:11,657
Singer, sing!
678
00:15:11,655 --> 00:15:13,405
Hey, hey, hey, don't nobody
679
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,623
else use the word "song."
680
00:15:14,620 --> 00:15:16,240
Just drink your water, sit
681
00:15:16,241 --> 00:15:17,481
back and relax.
682
00:15:17,482 --> 00:15:18,482
Close your eyes like you're
683
00:15:18,482 --> 00:15:19,552
meditating.
684
00:15:19,551 --> 00:15:22,831
Good.
685
00:15:22,827 --> 00:15:32,927
Oh, [bleep].
686
00:15:32,931 --> 00:15:39,451
♪
687
00:15:39,448 --> 00:15:42,758
I feel...
688
00:15:42,758 --> 00:15:46,138
Hmm, I feel...
689
00:15:46,137 --> 00:15:51,657
Two strong babies in here.
690
00:15:51,655 --> 00:15:52,895
And one just kicked.
691
00:15:52,896 --> 00:15:53,716
What?
692
00:15:53,724 --> 00:15:54,724
I mean--
693
00:15:54,724 --> 00:15:55,524
Yes, one just kicked.
694
00:15:55,517 --> 00:15:56,857
Feet-- They got feet.
695
00:15:56,862 --> 00:15:58,312
Oh, these babies are strong.
696
00:15:58,310 --> 00:15:59,590
But they're short.
697
00:15:59,586 --> 00:16:00,996
Like their daddy.
698
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,210
Mm-hmm.
699
00:16:02,206 --> 00:16:04,066
And they are vivacious.
700
00:16:04,068 --> 00:16:05,168
One dark-skinned, one
701
00:16:05,172 --> 00:16:06,172
light-skinned.
702
00:16:06,172 --> 00:16:07,552
My hands.
703
00:16:07,551 --> 00:16:09,411
That's 'cause of the way my
704
00:16:09,413 --> 00:16:10,343
hands are.
705
00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:11,724
Oh, they have really strong
706
00:16:11,724 --> 00:16:12,834
auras.
707
00:16:12,827 --> 00:16:14,377
They're going to be brilliant.
708
00:16:14,379 --> 00:16:17,169
Born under the Capricorn moon.
709
00:16:17,172 --> 00:16:18,312
Yes.
710
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:19,550
That's horses, ain't it?
711
00:16:19,551 --> 00:16:20,591
That is special.
712
00:16:20,586 --> 00:16:21,336
Yes.
713
00:16:21,344 --> 00:16:23,074
Yes, congratulations.
714
00:16:23,068 --> 00:16:24,518
Everyone, give them a hand.
715
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:29,477
[applauding]
716
00:16:29,482 --> 00:16:31,622
Yo, this Erykah is scamming
717
00:16:31,620 --> 00:16:33,140
harder than we are.
718
00:16:33,137 --> 00:16:34,307
She almost had me believe that
719
00:16:34,310 --> 00:16:35,900
there's some babies in there.
720
00:16:35,896 --> 00:16:37,716
Talking about a six-pound piece
721
00:16:37,724 --> 00:16:38,764
of silicone.
722
00:16:38,758 --> 00:16:40,688
"Will be born under"-- this is
723
00:16:40,689 --> 00:16:41,519
her hair--
724
00:16:41,517 --> 00:16:43,717
"Underneath the Capricorn moon"
725
00:16:43,724 --> 00:16:44,794
and it moves, too, while she's
726
00:16:44,793 --> 00:16:45,663
talking.
727
00:16:45,655 --> 00:16:46,825
Let me tell you what sign
728
00:16:46,827 --> 00:16:47,927
those babies are going to be
729
00:16:47,931 --> 00:16:49,241
born under, all right?
730
00:16:49,241 --> 00:16:49,971
These babies are going to be
731
00:16:49,965 --> 00:16:51,375
born under a dollar sign.
732
00:16:51,379 --> 00:16:52,899
And if you don't believe me,
733
00:16:52,896 --> 00:16:55,896
Erykah, you better call Tyrone.
734
00:16:55,896 --> 00:16:57,546
All right, this next gift--
735
00:16:57,551 --> 00:16:58,281
Why do you have to yell all
736
00:16:58,275 --> 00:16:58,895
the time?
737
00:16:58,896 --> 00:16:59,546
Shut up!
738
00:16:59,551 --> 00:17:01,141
God.
739
00:17:01,137 --> 00:17:03,237
This next gift is from
740
00:17:03,241 --> 00:17:07,101
Babymart and it is a brand-new
741
00:17:07,103 --> 00:17:09,413
nursery complete with a crib,
742
00:17:09,413 --> 00:17:11,173
a changing table, a rocking
743
00:17:11,172 --> 00:17:13,662
chair, swing, playpen, and free
744
00:17:13,655 --> 00:17:14,615
two-year diaper cleaning
745
00:17:14,620 --> 00:17:15,620
service.
746
00:17:15,620 --> 00:17:17,000
Girl, they hooked you up!
747
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,830
[cheering, applauding]
748
00:17:18,827 --> 00:17:20,167
[Eva] I love those sponsors,
749
00:17:20,172 --> 00:17:20,972
honey.
750
00:17:20,965 --> 00:17:21,965
That's what they gave me, the
751
00:17:21,965 --> 00:17:22,925
same thing.
752
00:17:22,931 --> 00:17:23,721
[Kevin] I love it.
753
00:17:23,724 --> 00:17:24,834
Whoo! Okay.
754
00:17:24,827 --> 00:17:26,857
This next gift is from Eva.
755
00:17:26,862 --> 00:17:27,722
Yes, it's from me.
756
00:17:27,724 --> 00:17:29,244
Oh, ain't this cute.
757
00:17:29,241 --> 00:17:30,001
Mm-hmm.
758
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,760
We'll open it later.
759
00:17:31,758 --> 00:17:32,758
Let's focus on the sponsored
760
00:17:32,758 --> 00:17:33,518
gifts.
761
00:17:33,517 --> 00:17:34,307
That's a good idea.
762
00:17:34,310 --> 00:17:35,140
Sit your ass down, Eva.
763
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:36,407
Just-- So you don't mix that
764
00:17:36,413 --> 00:17:37,103
up with anything else,
765
00:17:37,103 --> 00:17:37,793
just put that in the bag.
766
00:17:37,793 --> 00:17:39,103
All right.
767
00:17:39,103 --> 00:17:40,523
Rude.
768
00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:42,337
We all know who this gift is
769
00:17:42,344 --> 00:17:43,864
from, don't we?
770
00:17:43,862 --> 00:17:44,902
You know they give good gifts,
771
00:17:44,896 --> 00:17:45,656
honey.
772
00:17:45,655 --> 00:17:46,995
They give good gifts!
773
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:50,240
All right, next we have a custom
774
00:17:50,241 --> 00:17:51,341
baby car seat from Aston
775
00:17:51,344 --> 00:17:53,594
Martin-- That's cute.
776
00:17:53,586 --> 00:17:56,236
Nice!
777
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,211
That also comes with a brand-new
778
00:17:58,206 --> 00:17:59,686
Aston Martin parked right out
779
00:17:59,689 --> 00:18:08,589
front!
780
00:18:08,586 --> 00:18:09,586
[excited screaming]
781
00:18:09,586 --> 00:18:17,616
[overlapping chatter]
782
00:18:17,620 --> 00:18:18,860
That's right!
783
00:18:18,862 --> 00:18:22,762
[cheers and applause]
784
00:18:22,758 --> 00:18:24,138
You look good in it!
785
00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:25,657
Thank you, darling, thank
786
00:18:25,655 --> 00:18:26,895
you, thank you.
787
00:18:26,896 --> 00:18:27,966
You sure know how to throw a
788
00:18:27,965 --> 00:18:28,785
shower.
789
00:18:28,793 --> 00:18:29,523
This is pretty amazing.
790
00:18:29,517 --> 00:18:30,477
This is real sweet of you.
791
00:18:30,482 --> 00:18:31,412
You have a good heart, Kevin.
792
00:18:31,413 --> 00:18:32,073
Thank you, thank you.
793
00:18:32,068 --> 00:18:32,788
You do.
794
00:18:32,793 --> 00:18:33,623
Hey, listen, Erykah.
795
00:18:33,620 --> 00:18:35,830
Uh, I know you do readings and
796
00:18:35,827 --> 00:18:36,687
I know you just did it for
797
00:18:36,689 --> 00:18:37,519
Selita.
798
00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:41,277
Do you mind doing my reading?
799
00:18:41,275 --> 00:18:42,615
Okay.
800
00:18:42,620 --> 00:18:43,860
Do I close my eyes or just...
801
00:18:43,862 --> 00:18:44,622
You just...
802
00:18:44,620 --> 00:18:45,280
Stand here?
803
00:18:45,275 --> 00:18:45,965
Yeah.
804
00:18:45,965 --> 00:18:46,825
Okay.
805
00:18:46,827 --> 00:18:50,547
Let's see.
806
00:18:50,551 --> 00:18:54,721
You are not the father.
807
00:18:54,724 --> 00:18:56,344
You're not.
808
00:18:56,344 --> 00:19:00,344
You mean that somebody else
809
00:19:00,344 --> 00:19:01,554
is having my babies or like--?
810
00:19:01,551 --> 00:19:04,721
Nobody's having your babies.
811
00:19:04,724 --> 00:19:06,344
Kevin, I didn't want to
812
00:19:06,344 --> 00:19:07,174
embarrass you in front of
813
00:19:07,172 --> 00:19:08,692
everybody, but she's
814
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:09,859
not pregnant.
815
00:19:09,862 --> 00:19:15,552
♪
816
00:19:15,551 --> 00:19:24,481
I'm sorry.
♪
48615
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