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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,724 --> 00:00:03,524 ♪ This is the life 2 00:00:03,517 --> 00:00:05,277 ♪ We've got the life 3 00:00:05,275 --> 00:00:06,325 ♪ This is the city 4 00:00:06,327 --> 00:00:07,117 ♪ Where we party every night 5 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:07,840 ♪ Party every night 6 00:00:07,844 --> 00:00:08,984 ♪ We do indeed 7 00:00:08,982 --> 00:00:10,742 ♪ Now let's go 8 00:00:10,741 --> 00:00:16,691 ♪ Welcome to Hollywood ♪ 9 00:00:16,689 --> 00:00:18,339 ♪ I'm Mrs. Popular 10 00:00:18,344 --> 00:00:20,474 ♪ When I walk in they all stir 11 00:00:20,465 --> 00:00:22,235 ♪ Driving 'em wild no chauffer 12 00:00:22,241 --> 00:00:23,661 ♪ Flashy shoes, exotic furs ♪ 13 00:00:23,655 --> 00:00:24,515 Tisha? 14 00:00:24,517 --> 00:00:25,207 Nicole! 15 00:00:25,206 --> 00:00:26,306 What's up, baby? 16 00:00:26,310 --> 00:00:27,410 Hi, did Xen start his music 17 00:00:27,413 --> 00:00:28,073 class? 18 00:00:28,068 --> 00:00:28,788 Oh, please. 19 00:00:28,793 --> 00:00:29,533 He got kicked out. 20 00:00:29,534 --> 00:00:30,214 I don't even want to talk 21 00:00:30,206 --> 00:00:30,786 about it. 22 00:00:30,793 --> 00:00:31,713 What are you doing here? 23 00:00:31,706 --> 00:00:33,756 Well, Duane has me hosting 24 00:00:33,758 --> 00:00:34,998 Selita's baby shower. 25 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:35,660 Really? 26 00:00:35,655 --> 00:00:36,715 Yeah. 27 00:00:36,724 --> 00:00:38,104 That's really odd, because 28 00:00:38,103 --> 00:00:39,033 he told me you weren't 29 00:00:39,034 --> 00:00:40,414 interested, and that he needed 30 00:00:40,413 --> 00:00:42,523 me to host the baby shower. 31 00:00:42,517 --> 00:00:43,447 No, Duane didn't tell you 32 00:00:43,448 --> 00:00:44,238 that, Nicole. 33 00:00:44,241 --> 00:00:44,971 That was Shake. 34 00:00:44,965 --> 00:00:45,565 Shake, his alter-ego. 35 00:00:45,568 --> 00:00:48,688 The lying one that uses my ATM 36 00:00:48,689 --> 00:00:49,089 too much. 37 00:00:49,086 --> 00:00:50,586 Well, which one of us is 38 00:00:50,586 --> 00:00:51,086 Shake lying to? 39 00:00:51,086 --> 00:00:52,896 Both of you. 40 00:00:52,896 --> 00:00:54,236 ♪ 41 00:00:54,241 --> 00:00:54,781 Who are you? 42 00:00:54,775 --> 00:00:57,405 Eva Marcille. 43 00:00:57,413 --> 00:00:58,413 [both] Oh! 44 00:00:58,413 --> 00:01:01,003 You're the, um, the girl with 45 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,100 the boy body that won the 46 00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:03,343 modeling show, right? 47 00:01:03,344 --> 00:01:04,034 Yeah! 48 00:01:04,034 --> 00:01:04,974 You change your name or 49 00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:05,615 something? 50 00:01:05,620 --> 00:01:06,450 Yeah, she's French now. 51 00:01:06,448 --> 00:01:07,138 Right, okay. 52 00:01:07,137 --> 00:01:08,527 So, hey, I'm Tisha, girl-- 53 00:01:08,534 --> 00:01:09,484 I know exactly who you are, 54 00:01:09,482 --> 00:01:10,142 girl. 55 00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:11,597 Look, when I was 12, I grew up 56 00:01:11,603 --> 00:01:12,213 watching your reruns. 57 00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:13,236 I had a "Martin" lunch pail and 58 00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:13,931 everything. 59 00:01:13,931 --> 00:01:15,031 I used to love you. 60 00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:17,024 Huh-- You used to... 61 00:01:17,017 --> 00:01:17,897 Strike one. 62 00:01:17,896 --> 00:01:19,256 Hi, I'm Nicole. 63 00:01:19,258 --> 00:01:20,168 I know who you are, too. 64 00:01:20,172 --> 00:01:20,672 Oh, really? 65 00:01:20,672 --> 00:01:22,072 Who am I? 66 00:01:22,068 --> 00:01:23,098 Well, now that I get a really 67 00:01:23,103 --> 00:01:26,903 good look at you, I'd say lucky. 68 00:01:26,896 --> 00:01:28,206 I mean, I guess Boris really 69 00:01:28,206 --> 00:01:29,686 needed that green card, huh? 70 00:01:29,689 --> 00:01:30,789 ♪ 71 00:01:30,793 --> 00:01:31,593 Oh! 72 00:01:31,586 --> 00:01:33,786 Oh, she's crazy. 73 00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:35,003 Strike two. 74 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:36,900 Oh, she crazy all right. 75 00:01:36,896 --> 00:01:41,236 And crazy [bleep] get stitches. 76 00:01:41,241 --> 00:01:42,171 Yeah, you know what it is, 77 00:01:42,172 --> 00:01:42,862 Nicole? 78 00:01:42,862 --> 00:01:43,522 Help me. 79 00:01:43,517 --> 00:01:44,657 They're models and they're 80 00:01:44,655 --> 00:01:45,305 [both] Hungry. 81 00:01:45,310 --> 00:01:46,340 'Cause she needs to be skinny 82 00:01:46,344 --> 00:01:47,794 to wear bull[bleep] like that. 83 00:01:47,793 --> 00:01:48,933 That's what it must be. 84 00:01:48,931 --> 00:01:49,661 So, it goes to their head? 85 00:01:49,655 --> 00:01:50,235 Whatever. 86 00:01:50,241 --> 00:01:50,931 Excuse me, excuse me. 87 00:01:50,931 --> 00:01:52,001 What the hell? 88 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:52,930 Oh, my God. 89 00:01:52,931 --> 00:01:54,831 Oh, Jesus, thank you. 90 00:01:54,827 --> 00:01:57,657 I swear, they do not make $3,000 91 00:01:57,655 --> 00:01:58,785 "Manilla Blankos" like they 92 00:01:58,793 --> 00:01:59,453 used to. 93 00:01:59,448 --> 00:02:00,098 [chuckling] 94 00:02:00,103 --> 00:02:01,863 You mean Manolo Blahniks? 95 00:02:01,862 --> 00:02:03,452 [cackling] 96 00:02:03,448 --> 00:02:04,758 [chuckling sarcastically] 97 00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:07,068 No, I mean, Blankos. 98 00:02:07,068 --> 00:02:08,188 Well, you two wouldn't know that 99 00:02:08,189 --> 00:02:08,879 because you guys are old 100 00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:10,309 Negroes. 101 00:02:10,310 --> 00:02:11,210 [both] Strike three. 102 00:02:11,206 --> 00:02:11,896 [bleep], you're out. 103 00:02:11,896 --> 00:02:12,656 First of all, let me tell you 104 00:02:12,655 --> 00:02:13,275 something, little girl-- 105 00:02:13,275 --> 00:02:13,995 [Nadine] Excuse me, ladies. 106 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:14,640 Um, excuse me, sorry. 107 00:02:14,637 --> 00:02:15,467 I'm looking for Selita Ebanks? 108 00:02:15,465 --> 00:02:20,135 Nadine? 109 00:02:20,137 --> 00:02:20,897 Eva! 110 00:02:20,896 --> 00:02:21,716 Hey, girl! 111 00:02:21,724 --> 00:02:22,384 Hey! 112 00:02:22,379 --> 00:02:24,169 You are giving me life. 113 00:02:24,172 --> 00:02:24,932 How are you? 114 00:02:24,931 --> 00:02:25,591 Yeah! 115 00:02:25,586 --> 00:02:26,656 [both] Mwah, mwah! 116 00:02:26,655 --> 00:02:27,335 Of course these two know 117 00:02:27,344 --> 00:02:28,004 each other. 118 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,380 And, girl, no you did not get 119 00:02:29,379 --> 00:02:29,999 the last pair of 120 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:30,830 seven-and-a-halfs in those 121 00:02:30,827 --> 00:02:31,997 Manolo Blankos. 122 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,690 Excuse me, excuse me. 123 00:02:33,689 --> 00:02:34,659 Blank-hos? 124 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:35,475 Hi. 125 00:02:35,482 --> 00:02:36,522 Who are you? 126 00:02:36,517 --> 00:02:40,097 Oh, my goodness. 127 00:02:40,103 --> 00:02:41,173 Pam! 128 00:02:41,172 --> 00:02:43,282 I still have my "Martin" 129 00:02:43,275 --> 00:02:44,235 lunch pail! 130 00:02:44,241 --> 00:02:44,931 Wow. 131 00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:45,901 Oh, my-- that's so sweet. 132 00:02:45,896 --> 00:02:47,096 Is it your baby shower, too? 133 00:02:47,103 --> 00:02:48,003 What the hell? 134 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:48,970 Is there a strike four in 135 00:02:48,965 --> 00:02:49,615 baseball? 136 00:02:49,620 --> 00:02:50,280 No, but you can hit the 137 00:02:50,275 --> 00:02:50,965 batter. 138 00:02:50,965 --> 00:02:52,135 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 139 00:02:52,137 --> 00:02:53,097 Ladies, I don't mean any 140 00:02:53,103 --> 00:02:54,693 disrespect at all, but I swear 141 00:02:54,689 --> 00:02:55,759 to God, I became an actress 142 00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:56,548 because of you. 143 00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:57,721 I was like, if she can do it, 144 00:02:57,724 --> 00:02:58,934 I can do it. 145 00:02:58,931 --> 00:03:02,141 And Nicole Ari-Parkinson. 146 00:03:02,137 --> 00:03:02,967 Wow. 147 00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:03,715 This is so amazing. 148 00:03:03,724 --> 00:03:04,624 This is like the house that the 149 00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:05,480 '90s built. 150 00:03:05,482 --> 00:03:07,002 Oh, did she just insult me? 151 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:08,340 Just walk away. 152 00:03:08,344 --> 00:03:09,384 Why are you here? 153 00:03:09,379 --> 00:03:11,859 Um, because Duaney called me. 154 00:03:11,862 --> 00:03:13,312 ♪ 155 00:03:13,310 --> 00:03:14,970 He wanted me to host this baby 156 00:03:14,965 --> 00:03:16,585 shower for Selita, and your baby 157 00:03:16,586 --> 00:03:17,236 shower too-- 158 00:03:17,241 --> 00:03:19,071 My-- I'm not having no baby! 159 00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:19,788 That's number one. 160 00:03:19,793 --> 00:03:21,973 Number two, why is my husband, 161 00:03:21,965 --> 00:03:23,615 "Duaney," calling you in the 162 00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:24,310 first place? 163 00:03:24,310 --> 00:03:25,550 He only called me because 164 00:03:25,551 --> 00:03:26,211 I'm Kevin's friend. 165 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,236 That's it. 166 00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:28,001 [Bridgette] Girl, that's 167 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:28,330 a lie. 168 00:03:28,327 --> 00:03:29,617 Kevin don't have no friends, 169 00:03:29,620 --> 00:03:30,380 just [bleep] buddies. 170 00:03:30,379 --> 00:03:31,759 I know, I used to be one 171 00:03:31,758 --> 00:03:32,548 before we got married. 172 00:03:32,551 --> 00:03:33,211 Hey, Girl. 173 00:03:33,206 --> 00:03:33,776 Hey, Bridgette. 174 00:03:33,775 --> 00:03:35,095 What's going on? 175 00:03:35,103 --> 00:03:35,793 Hey, sis. 176 00:03:35,793 --> 00:03:36,453 I can't call him. 177 00:03:36,448 --> 00:03:37,168 Hey. 178 00:03:37,172 --> 00:03:38,002 I'm gonna need a ride later, 179 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:38,690 y'all. 180 00:03:38,689 --> 00:03:39,519 You know I got dropped off. 181 00:03:39,517 --> 00:03:40,207 Again? 182 00:03:40,206 --> 00:03:41,546 My [bleep] broke down. 183 00:03:41,551 --> 00:03:42,971 Oh! 184 00:03:42,965 --> 00:03:44,755 Look at what reality TV 185 00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:45,828 dragged in. 186 00:03:45,827 --> 00:03:47,587 If it isn't Evaline! 187 00:03:47,586 --> 00:03:49,166 Actually, reality TV drove me 188 00:03:49,172 --> 00:03:51,172 here in that Mercedes out front. 189 00:03:51,172 --> 00:03:51,902 Look. 190 00:03:51,896 --> 00:03:53,716 Oh, I see a little "C" class. 191 00:03:53,724 --> 00:03:54,454 "S." 192 00:03:54,448 --> 00:03:55,098 "E." 193 00:03:55,103 --> 00:03:55,863 Hmm. 194 00:03:55,862 --> 00:03:56,792 And I like your little dress. 195 00:03:56,793 --> 00:03:57,623 I wouldn't do it, but it's cute 196 00:03:57,620 --> 00:03:58,280 for you. 197 00:03:58,275 --> 00:03:58,995 Whatever. 198 00:03:59,000 --> 00:03:59,720 So what, did Duane invite you 199 00:03:59,724 --> 00:04:01,524 here to host, too? 200 00:04:01,517 --> 00:04:02,167 ♪ 201 00:04:02,172 --> 00:04:03,692 Actually, Duane told me to 202 00:04:03,689 --> 00:04:04,589 come down here and do what I do 203 00:04:04,586 --> 00:04:07,066 best-- [bleep] [bleep] up. 204 00:04:07,068 --> 00:04:08,378 And for that fat check, I'm 205 00:04:08,379 --> 00:04:10,139 gonna [bleep] up, down, 206 00:04:10,137 --> 00:04:13,067 sideways, you name it. 207 00:04:13,068 --> 00:04:14,118 What you wanna do? 208 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:15,380 Hi, ladies. 209 00:04:15,379 --> 00:04:16,739 Hi, "mommy"! 210 00:04:16,741 --> 00:04:18,101 [all] Hi! 211 00:04:18,103 --> 00:04:18,863 Air kisses. 212 00:04:18,862 --> 00:04:19,692 [Nadine] This is Selita? 213 00:04:19,689 --> 00:04:20,339 This is her? 214 00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:21,034 That's Selita. 215 00:04:21,034 --> 00:04:21,724 You look beautiful. 216 00:04:21,724 --> 00:04:22,484 Yes, hi, gorgeous. 217 00:04:22,482 --> 00:04:23,142 Hi. 218 00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:24,207 Listen, ladies, I just really 219 00:04:24,206 --> 00:04:25,516 wanted to thank you all for 220 00:04:25,517 --> 00:04:26,307 for helping me with my baby 221 00:04:26,310 --> 00:04:27,410 shower. 222 00:04:27,413 --> 00:04:28,973 I know Tisha and-- what's your 223 00:04:28,965 --> 00:04:30,135 name again? 224 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:30,857 Nicole. 225 00:04:30,862 --> 00:04:32,172 Oh, that's right-- Nicole. 226 00:04:32,172 --> 00:04:33,282 I know you guys are so busy 227 00:04:33,275 --> 00:04:34,965 with your mommy scheduling and, 228 00:04:34,965 --> 00:04:36,475 of course, Eva and Nadine, 229 00:04:36,482 --> 00:04:37,282 I know you guys are in the 230 00:04:37,275 --> 00:04:38,475 middle of production. 231 00:04:38,482 --> 00:04:40,382 And, Bridgette. [sighs] 232 00:04:40,379 --> 00:04:41,449 Honey, I know you were doing 233 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:42,308 something with Kevin's money, 234 00:04:42,310 --> 00:04:43,930 but I can't figure out what. 235 00:04:43,931 --> 00:04:44,761 Don't act like you're not 236 00:04:44,758 --> 00:04:45,548 doing the same thing. 237 00:04:45,551 --> 00:04:46,761 Let's just get this paper. 238 00:04:46,758 --> 00:04:47,408 You know what? 239 00:04:47,413 --> 00:04:48,903 Speaking of paper, ladies... 240 00:04:48,896 --> 00:04:49,546 Yes! 241 00:04:49,551 --> 00:04:50,211 What-- what's that? 242 00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:51,686 I have your contracts here... 243 00:04:51,689 --> 00:04:52,339 Oh, yeah. 244 00:04:52,344 --> 00:04:53,104 For you to sign, okay? 245 00:04:53,103 --> 00:04:53,793 How about that? 246 00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:54,453 Wait. 247 00:04:54,448 --> 00:04:55,098 Thank you, honey. 248 00:04:55,103 --> 00:04:55,793 Hey, how you doing? 249 00:04:55,793 --> 00:04:56,483 I'm gonna give this to you. 250 00:04:56,482 --> 00:04:57,102 Absolutely. 251 00:04:57,103 --> 00:04:58,313 Contracts. 252 00:04:58,310 --> 00:04:59,550 My name is Trina Shaw. 253 00:04:59,551 --> 00:05:01,381 I'm representing Kevin and 254 00:05:01,379 --> 00:05:03,519 Selita in this venture. 255 00:05:03,517 --> 00:05:04,757 Go ahead, please read over 256 00:05:04,758 --> 00:05:05,718 the agreement. 257 00:05:05,724 --> 00:05:06,454 And just as soon as you get it 258 00:05:06,448 --> 00:05:07,898 signed, we can go ahead and get 259 00:05:07,896 --> 00:05:09,136 you your checks. 260 00:05:09,137 --> 00:05:10,167 Oh wait, it looks good to me. 261 00:05:10,172 --> 00:05:11,312 Just hand me a pen. 262 00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:12,450 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 263 00:05:12,448 --> 00:05:13,548 Wait, wait, wait, Trina, before 264 00:05:13,551 --> 00:05:15,551 we sign, can one of you tell us 265 00:05:15,551 --> 00:05:16,341 who's hosting this baby shower? 266 00:05:16,344 --> 00:05:17,384 Yes, yes. 267 00:05:17,379 --> 00:05:18,409 Uh, who gives a [bleep]? 268 00:05:18,413 --> 00:05:19,863 Let's just get paid. 269 00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:21,072 Listen, ladies, I really 270 00:05:21,068 --> 00:05:22,308 don't care who hosts. 271 00:05:22,310 --> 00:05:23,590 My suggestion is, it's the 272 00:05:23,586 --> 00:05:24,236 prettier one. 273 00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:24,931 OH, I'm hosting? 274 00:05:24,931 --> 00:05:25,591 No, that would be me. 275 00:05:25,586 --> 00:05:26,236 That's me. 276 00:05:26,241 --> 00:05:26,931 By the way... 277 00:05:26,931 --> 00:05:27,591 [laughing] 278 00:05:27,586 --> 00:05:29,306 Listen, I don't like pastels. 279 00:05:29,310 --> 00:05:31,620 I despise cheap lighting. 280 00:05:31,620 --> 00:05:32,340 [coughing] Diva! 281 00:05:32,344 --> 00:05:33,004 Excuse me. 282 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:33,970 Well, not all of us can 283 00:05:33,965 --> 00:05:34,755 be it. 284 00:05:34,758 --> 00:05:36,308 And I don't like satin. 285 00:05:36,310 --> 00:05:37,000 No satin. 286 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:37,930 Ladies, more importantly, 287 00:05:37,931 --> 00:05:39,001 I don't eat shellfish. 288 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:39,660 I'm allergic. 289 00:05:39,655 --> 00:05:40,855 Oh, you have nothing to worry 290 00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:42,002 about with that, okay? 291 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,100 'Cause I am allergic to 292 00:05:43,103 --> 00:05:44,173 shellfish, too. 293 00:05:44,172 --> 00:05:46,102 I would never serve it. 294 00:05:46,103 --> 00:05:47,103 Oh. 295 00:05:47,103 --> 00:05:48,003 One would think you would never 296 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,830 wear cobalt blue. 297 00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:53,207 But there you are. 298 00:05:53,206 --> 00:05:54,306 What's cobalt blue have to do 299 00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:55,000 with anything? 300 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:55,660 I don't know. 301 00:05:55,655 --> 00:05:56,615 Anyway, ladies, ta-ta. 302 00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:57,340 I don't get it. 303 00:05:57,344 --> 00:05:58,284 "Access Hollywood" is 304 00:05:58,275 --> 00:05:59,065 calling. 305 00:05:59,068 --> 00:05:59,758 [mockingly] "Access 306 00:05:59,758 --> 00:06:00,478 Hollywood" is calling. 307 00:06:00,482 --> 00:06:01,972 Ciao. 308 00:06:01,965 --> 00:06:03,445 All right, ladies. 309 00:06:03,448 --> 00:06:04,378 I just want to call your 310 00:06:04,379 --> 00:06:06,449 attention to some points in the 311 00:06:06,448 --> 00:06:08,168 baby shower agreement. 312 00:06:08,172 --> 00:06:09,692 First of all, there will be 313 00:06:09,689 --> 00:06:10,759 interviews, and in each one of 314 00:06:10,758 --> 00:06:11,788 these interviews, you will be 315 00:06:11,793 --> 00:06:14,413 referring to Selita as, quote, 316 00:06:14,413 --> 00:06:16,073 "Your best friend for life." 317 00:06:16,068 --> 00:06:16,788 Okay, that's very important. 318 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:17,483 Well, I don't even know who 319 00:06:17,482 --> 00:06:18,072 the [bleep] is. 320 00:06:18,068 --> 00:06:18,828 I just met the girl. 321 00:06:18,827 --> 00:06:19,547 'Cause I come from the old 322 00:06:19,551 --> 00:06:20,171 school, okay? 323 00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:20,862 I have no idea. 324 00:06:20,862 --> 00:06:21,522 I don't even-- 325 00:06:21,517 --> 00:06:22,167 I'm her best friend. 326 00:06:22,172 --> 00:06:22,862 I'm just saying. 327 00:06:22,862 --> 00:06:23,552 Nonetheless, nonetheless, 328 00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:24,241 that is the verbiage that we 329 00:06:24,241 --> 00:06:25,101 will be going with. 330 00:06:25,103 --> 00:06:25,903 It is "best friends for life"... 331 00:06:25,896 --> 00:06:26,896 Actresses, girls. 332 00:06:26,896 --> 00:06:27,616 Okay? Thank you. 333 00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:28,340 Let's play our parts. 334 00:06:28,344 --> 00:06:29,004 [Nicole] Trina? 335 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:29,690 Yes? 336 00:06:29,689 --> 00:06:30,549 What's up with the NDA? 337 00:06:30,551 --> 00:06:31,211 [Eva] NDA? 338 00:06:31,206 --> 00:06:32,896 Um, an NDA-- oh, that's a 339 00:06:32,896 --> 00:06:34,686 non-disclosure agreement. 340 00:06:34,689 --> 00:06:35,829 I'm sorry, for all the models at 341 00:06:35,827 --> 00:06:36,617 the table. 342 00:06:36,620 --> 00:06:37,280 Ha! 343 00:06:37,275 --> 00:06:38,545 No, no, no, I do daytime TV. 344 00:06:38,551 --> 00:06:39,281 Not too much. 345 00:06:39,275 --> 00:06:40,335 You must want to get punched 346 00:06:40,344 --> 00:06:41,144 in the face. 347 00:06:41,137 --> 00:06:42,097 I'm sorry, that's just a 348 00:06:42,103 --> 00:06:42,793 compliment. 349 00:06:42,793 --> 00:06:43,623 Sweetheart, you're gorgeous, 350 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:44,280 wonderful frame. 351 00:06:44,275 --> 00:06:45,025 Don't-- don't worry about it. 352 00:06:45,034 --> 00:06:45,794 All right, moving on to the 353 00:06:45,793 --> 00:06:46,593 next section, 354 00:06:46,586 --> 00:06:48,166 This is a very key point. 355 00:06:48,172 --> 00:06:49,312 At no time, and I mean 356 00:06:49,310 --> 00:06:51,210 absolutely no time, will any of 357 00:06:51,206 --> 00:06:52,896 you look better than Selita. 358 00:06:52,896 --> 00:06:53,786 [all scoffing] 359 00:06:53,793 --> 00:06:54,723 Baby, you can go ahead and 360 00:06:54,724 --> 00:06:55,794 sue me now. 361 00:06:55,793 --> 00:06:56,593 Impossible. 362 00:06:56,586 --> 00:06:59,236 [laughter] 363 00:06:59,241 --> 00:07:00,281 Oh. 364 00:07:00,275 --> 00:07:01,615 Oh, is it impossible? 365 00:07:01,620 --> 00:07:02,590 Look at me. 366 00:07:02,586 --> 00:07:03,336 I'm gonna think you wanna 367 00:07:03,344 --> 00:07:04,524 look that over just one more 368 00:07:04,517 --> 00:07:05,687 time, 'cause it is a $20,000 369 00:07:05,689 --> 00:07:06,339 check. 370 00:07:06,344 --> 00:07:07,384 ♪ 371 00:07:07,379 --> 00:07:08,339 I could have a bad hair day, 372 00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:09,004 though, run that back. 373 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,210 Wow, that was quick. 374 00:07:10,206 --> 00:07:10,896 There you go. 375 00:07:10,896 --> 00:07:12,376 I said-- let me see-- 376 00:07:12,379 --> 00:07:13,029 Just give it a little-- 377 00:07:13,034 --> 00:07:13,724 a second-- 378 00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:14,384 That's all right. 379 00:07:14,379 --> 00:07:15,099 I'm gonna let my attorney look 380 00:07:15,103 --> 00:07:15,723 at it. 381 00:07:15,724 --> 00:07:16,384 I don't do legal stuff. 382 00:07:16,379 --> 00:07:17,029 Fantastic. 383 00:07:17,034 --> 00:07:17,834 There's a pen, just in case you 384 00:07:17,827 --> 00:07:18,547 decide to sign it while you're 385 00:07:18,551 --> 00:07:19,031 here. 386 00:07:19,034 --> 00:07:19,764 Okay, great. 387 00:07:19,758 --> 00:07:21,478 Thank you so much, ladies. 388 00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:22,242 I said my lawyer. 389 00:07:22,241 --> 00:07:23,071 I'm not signing this right now. 390 00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:23,858 Girl, it was good to see you! 391 00:07:23,862 --> 00:07:25,452 Thank you, eager beaver. 392 00:07:25,448 --> 00:07:26,548 They say you can never be too 393 00:07:26,551 --> 00:07:27,761 skinny or too rich. 394 00:07:27,758 --> 00:07:29,098 Well, with an ass like mine and 395 00:07:29,103 --> 00:07:31,313 a jackass like Kevin, I gots to 396 00:07:31,310 --> 00:07:33,620 go for rich. 397 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:34,660 ♪ 398 00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:36,065 Anyway, ladies, ta-ta. 399 00:07:36,068 --> 00:07:37,828 "Access Hollywood" is calling. 400 00:07:37,827 --> 00:07:38,477 [mockingly] "Access 401 00:07:38,482 --> 00:07:39,282 Hollywood" is calling. 402 00:07:39,275 --> 00:07:40,925 Ciao. 403 00:07:40,931 --> 00:07:41,661 Okay, okay, look. 404 00:07:41,655 --> 00:07:42,965 Who am I, who am I? 405 00:07:42,965 --> 00:07:46,305 ♪ 406 00:07:46,310 --> 00:07:49,310 "Okay, um, but most importantly, 407 00:07:49,310 --> 00:07:51,240 I'm allergic to shellfish. 408 00:07:51,241 --> 00:07:52,281 Okay?" 409 00:07:52,275 --> 00:07:52,995 Well, I'll tell you what she's 410 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,450 not allergic to is bull[bleep]. 411 00:07:54,448 --> 00:07:55,518 Yeah, and how can she be 412 00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:56,617 allergic to shellfish when she's 413 00:07:56,620 --> 00:07:58,100 pregnant by a shrimp? 414 00:07:58,103 --> 00:07:59,523 [Nadine] Hello, Kevin's no 415 00:07:59,517 --> 00:08:00,167 shrimp. 416 00:08:00,172 --> 00:08:00,932 Wait, what? 417 00:08:00,931 --> 00:08:01,591 No, he's not. 418 00:08:01,586 --> 00:08:02,236 He's like this big, girl. 419 00:08:02,241 --> 00:08:03,241 That's my baby's daddy, 420 00:08:03,241 --> 00:08:03,931 [bleep]. 421 00:08:03,931 --> 00:08:04,691 You better watch your mouth. 422 00:08:04,689 --> 00:08:05,479 [overlapping shouting] 423 00:08:05,482 --> 00:08:07,172 [Tisha] Ladies, ladies, 424 00:08:07,172 --> 00:08:08,522 hello! 425 00:08:08,517 --> 00:08:09,547 Let's not fall for the 426 00:08:09,551 --> 00:08:10,691 okey-doke, okay? 427 00:08:10,689 --> 00:08:13,659 This is orchestrated by Duane. 428 00:08:13,655 --> 00:08:15,305 He wants there to be conflict 429 00:08:15,310 --> 00:08:16,690 at this party, okay? 430 00:08:16,689 --> 00:08:18,689 So let's just play our roles 431 00:08:18,689 --> 00:08:20,029 and get paid. 432 00:08:20,034 --> 00:08:20,794 That's the only reason why 433 00:08:20,793 --> 00:08:21,383 I'm here. 434 00:08:21,379 --> 00:08:22,899 Well, Tisha, what are our 435 00:08:22,896 --> 00:08:23,586 roles? 436 00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:25,136 Well, you are obviously a gay 437 00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:26,407 man in a woman's body. 438 00:08:26,413 --> 00:08:27,593 [scoffing] No you didn't. 439 00:08:27,586 --> 00:08:28,856 Nicole, you're playing the 440 00:08:28,862 --> 00:08:30,662 role of the older, mature, 441 00:08:30,655 --> 00:08:31,965 mother-hen-type character. 442 00:08:31,965 --> 00:08:33,335 Older? Older? 443 00:08:33,344 --> 00:08:34,074 Yes. 444 00:08:34,068 --> 00:08:35,618 And, Bridgette, yeah, you're 445 00:08:35,620 --> 00:08:36,450 just ratchet. 446 00:08:36,448 --> 00:08:38,138 Girl, I ain't ratchet. 447 00:08:38,137 --> 00:08:39,237 Yeah. 448 00:08:39,241 --> 00:08:39,931 Yes? 449 00:08:39,931 --> 00:08:41,031 What about me? 450 00:08:41,034 --> 00:08:43,174 Oh, you play that spicy 451 00:08:43,172 --> 00:08:44,072 Mexican role. 452 00:08:44,068 --> 00:08:44,858 I'm not Mexican. 453 00:08:44,862 --> 00:08:45,692 I'm Puerto Rican. 454 00:08:45,689 --> 00:08:46,689 Not in L.A., you're not. 455 00:08:46,689 --> 00:08:47,519 [all laughing] 456 00:08:47,517 --> 00:08:48,687 You know what, Pam, you look 457 00:08:48,689 --> 00:08:50,069 more Mexican than I do. 458 00:08:50,068 --> 00:08:50,788 Pam? 459 00:08:50,793 --> 00:08:51,413 Mexicana Pam. 460 00:08:51,413 --> 00:08:52,073 Listen, let me tell you 461 00:08:52,068 --> 00:08:52,758 something-- 462 00:08:52,758 --> 00:08:53,408 Pamela. 463 00:08:53,413 --> 00:08:54,173 Okay, I just want to know who 464 00:08:54,172 --> 00:08:55,382 died and made you the head 465 00:08:55,379 --> 00:08:56,069 [bleep] in charge? 466 00:08:56,068 --> 00:08:56,778 [Bridgette] Who cares? 467 00:08:56,775 --> 00:08:59,925 Let's just get this paper! 468 00:08:59,931 --> 00:09:02,911 [all shouting] 469 00:09:02,913 --> 00:09:04,283 [Nicole] Ladies, ladies! 470 00:09:04,275 --> 00:09:04,995 Guys! 471 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,480 Listen! 472 00:09:06,482 --> 00:09:07,722 Can't we just take a minute 473 00:09:07,724 --> 00:09:09,484 and breathe? 474 00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:10,792 Oh, it's gonna be real hard for 475 00:09:10,793 --> 00:09:12,173 Tisha to breathe with my Blankos 476 00:09:12,172 --> 00:09:13,032 in her mouth. 477 00:09:13,034 --> 00:09:15,624 ♪ 478 00:09:15,620 --> 00:09:16,340 Now, let's go over a couple 479 00:09:16,344 --> 00:09:17,344 of things. 480 00:09:17,344 --> 00:09:18,104 First of all, they're gonna ask 481 00:09:18,103 --> 00:09:19,453 me all the questions, babe. 482 00:09:19,448 --> 00:09:20,378 It's just the nature of the 483 00:09:20,379 --> 00:09:21,379 business and how it goes, 484 00:09:21,379 --> 00:09:22,309 all right? 485 00:09:22,310 --> 00:09:23,170 I'm sure they're gonna want 486 00:09:23,172 --> 00:09:24,932 to talk to me too, considering 487 00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:26,281 I am the one that's pregnant. 488 00:09:26,275 --> 00:09:27,375 Yeah, but you got that way by 489 00:09:27,379 --> 00:09:28,759 a big star. 490 00:09:28,758 --> 00:09:29,548 Big, Kevin? 491 00:09:29,551 --> 00:09:30,341 I'm just trying to prepare you, 492 00:09:30,344 --> 00:09:31,104 babe, all right? 493 00:09:31,103 --> 00:09:31,833 Right. 494 00:09:31,827 --> 00:09:32,587 I don't want you to get upset 495 00:09:32,586 --> 00:09:33,826 on TV and mess with-- drop this 496 00:09:33,827 --> 00:09:35,137 little Hart, okay? 497 00:09:35,137 --> 00:09:35,807 Because that's my heart. 498 00:09:35,810 --> 00:09:36,760 Selita! 499 00:09:36,758 --> 00:09:37,408 Hey! 500 00:09:37,413 --> 00:09:37,953 Hey, Selita! 501 00:09:37,948 --> 00:09:39,448 Billy! 502 00:09:39,448 --> 00:09:40,098 Oh, my gosh. 503 00:09:40,103 --> 00:09:40,793 How are you? 504 00:09:40,793 --> 00:09:41,453 You are a sight for 505 00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:42,098 sore eyes. 506 00:09:42,103 --> 00:09:43,483 Look at that little bump! 507 00:09:43,482 --> 00:09:44,522 Hey, listen, this is great. 508 00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:45,167 This is gonna be harmless. 509 00:09:45,172 --> 00:09:45,862 Mm-hmm. 510 00:09:45,862 --> 00:09:46,622 Get you mic'd up over here-- 511 00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:47,830 Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy. 512 00:09:47,827 --> 00:09:48,477 Hey. 513 00:09:48,482 --> 00:09:49,172 Hey, I want to go over a 514 00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:49,932 couple things with you, too. 515 00:09:49,931 --> 00:09:50,621 Hey, what's up? 516 00:09:50,620 --> 00:09:51,550 I-- who are you? 517 00:09:51,551 --> 00:09:52,211 ♪ 518 00:09:52,206 --> 00:09:52,926 [scoffing] 519 00:09:52,931 --> 00:09:54,591 I'm Kevin Hart, I'm your star. 520 00:09:54,586 --> 00:09:56,276 That's my seed, son. 521 00:09:56,275 --> 00:09:57,305 A-ha. 522 00:09:57,310 --> 00:09:58,070 You brought your buddy. 523 00:09:58,068 --> 00:09:59,898 This is-- he's cute! 524 00:09:59,896 --> 00:10:00,996 Listen, we got a green room 525 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:01,660 around the corner. 526 00:10:01,655 --> 00:10:03,065 We got cookies back there. 527 00:10:03,068 --> 00:10:03,758 You like licorice? 528 00:10:03,758 --> 00:10:04,408 I don't want no damn 529 00:10:04,413 --> 00:10:05,073 licorice. 530 00:10:05,068 --> 00:10:05,788 They got licorice-- yeah. 531 00:10:05,793 --> 00:10:06,453 No, I don't want that. 532 00:10:06,448 --> 00:10:07,168 Okay, we'll talk to you in a 533 00:10:07,172 --> 00:10:07,902 minute, all right? 534 00:10:07,896 --> 00:10:08,546 Listen... 535 00:10:08,551 --> 00:10:09,211 Hold on. 536 00:10:09,206 --> 00:10:09,896 This is gonna be easy, 537 00:10:09,896 --> 00:10:11,026 harmless little thing, okay? 538 00:10:11,034 --> 00:10:11,764 Okay. 539 00:10:11,758 --> 00:10:12,518 I'll ask you a few questions 540 00:10:12,517 --> 00:10:14,067 about the baby shower, the due 541 00:10:14,068 --> 00:10:14,758 date-- 542 00:10:14,758 --> 00:10:15,408 Uh-huh. 543 00:10:15,413 --> 00:10:16,073 Why Kevin? 544 00:10:16,068 --> 00:10:16,968 Oh. [chuckling] 545 00:10:16,965 --> 00:10:17,785 And then we're going to take 546 00:10:17,793 --> 00:10:18,763 a little commercial break. 547 00:10:18,758 --> 00:10:19,408 We'll come back... 548 00:10:19,413 --> 00:10:20,073 Mm-hmm. 549 00:10:20,068 --> 00:10:20,828 And we'll do the live 550 00:10:20,827 --> 00:10:21,477 sonogram. 551 00:10:21,482 --> 00:10:22,142 This is Blake. 552 00:10:22,137 --> 00:10:22,897 He'll put a mic on you right-- 553 00:10:22,896 --> 00:10:23,996 Wait, hold up, Blake. 554 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,280 Uh, the what? 555 00:10:26,275 --> 00:10:28,475 ♪ 556 00:10:28,482 --> 00:10:31,692 [Kevin] Selita! 557 00:10:31,689 --> 00:10:36,619 Selita! 558 00:10:36,620 --> 00:10:37,720 Yo. 559 00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:38,414 What did you just say to my 560 00:10:38,413 --> 00:10:39,033 girl, Billy? 561 00:10:39,034 --> 00:10:39,724 Nothing. 562 00:10:39,724 --> 00:10:40,454 I told her we were gonna give 563 00:10:40,448 --> 00:10:42,658 her a sonogram. 564 00:10:42,655 --> 00:10:43,445 You just offered the mother 565 00:10:43,448 --> 00:10:45,828 of my child drugs, man? 566 00:10:45,827 --> 00:10:47,167 Ho-- hold on. 567 00:10:47,172 --> 00:10:48,482 You don't know what a sonogram 568 00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:50,552 is, do you? 569 00:10:50,551 --> 00:10:52,241 I know if it comes in a gram 570 00:10:52,241 --> 00:10:53,071 that you don't give it to a 571 00:10:53,068 --> 00:10:53,758 pregnant woman. 572 00:10:53,758 --> 00:10:54,408 Hey, back up, man. 573 00:10:54,413 --> 00:10:55,213 Billy, don't put your hands 574 00:10:55,206 --> 00:10:55,896 on me! 575 00:10:55,896 --> 00:10:56,586 What? 576 00:10:56,586 --> 00:10:57,376 Yo, you don't want this type 577 00:10:57,379 --> 00:10:58,209 of access, because this is not 578 00:10:58,206 --> 00:10:59,546 Hollywood, baby. 579 00:10:59,551 --> 00:11:01,861 Oh! Oh! [groaning] 580 00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:03,072 Who taught you that, Billy? 581 00:11:03,068 --> 00:11:04,168 The Rock was here yesterday 582 00:11:04,172 --> 00:11:05,862 and he showed me. 583 00:11:05,862 --> 00:11:06,722 You got round one, 584 00:11:06,724 --> 00:11:08,244 Billy Bushwick. 585 00:11:08,241 --> 00:11:08,931 Understand something. 586 00:11:08,931 --> 00:11:10,831 There's 33 rounds in boxing. 587 00:11:10,827 --> 00:11:12,207 I'll be back, baby. 588 00:11:12,206 --> 00:11:13,756 And I could have had this job, 589 00:11:13,758 --> 00:11:16,788 but I turned it down 'cause 590 00:11:16,793 --> 00:11:19,453 I don't work with white walls! 591 00:11:19,448 --> 00:11:20,378 ♪ 592 00:11:20,379 --> 00:11:21,789 Hey, Selita! 593 00:11:21,793 --> 00:11:23,003 [bleep], Selita! 594 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,000 [groaning] 595 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,830 Hey, girl. 596 00:11:25,827 --> 00:11:26,857 Would you stop it? 597 00:11:26,862 --> 00:11:27,972 Hey. 598 00:11:27,965 --> 00:11:28,825 What is going on? What-- 599 00:11:28,827 --> 00:11:30,787 Hi, honey, I didn't hear you. 600 00:11:30,793 --> 00:11:32,383 Um, it's nothing, I just-- you 601 00:11:32,379 --> 00:11:33,969 know, I have a surprise for you 602 00:11:33,965 --> 00:11:34,925 and I just didn't want to freak 603 00:11:34,931 --> 00:11:37,001 you out on national television. 604 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,380 What is it? 605 00:11:39,379 --> 00:11:42,309 Well, Kevin, we're not just 606 00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:43,280 having one baby. 607 00:11:43,275 --> 00:11:46,275 We're having two! 608 00:11:46,275 --> 00:11:47,375 Surprise! 609 00:11:47,379 --> 00:11:48,409 That-- that can't be right. 610 00:11:48,413 --> 00:11:49,173 We only did it once. 611 00:11:49,172 --> 00:11:50,412 Well, maybe you did it once 612 00:11:50,413 --> 00:11:51,283 because you were asleep half the 613 00:11:51,275 --> 00:11:52,405 time, but I did all the work. 614 00:11:52,413 --> 00:11:53,313 But, hey, that doesn't matter. 615 00:11:53,310 --> 00:11:55,310 It's done, we're having twins. 616 00:11:55,310 --> 00:11:57,620 [squeaking] 617 00:11:57,620 --> 00:11:58,280 I know it! 618 00:11:58,275 --> 00:11:59,615 I was speechless at first, too. 619 00:11:59,620 --> 00:12:00,590 It's amazing. 620 00:12:00,586 --> 00:12:01,326 No-- 621 00:12:01,327 --> 00:12:02,017 Listen... I'll see you 622 00:12:02,017 --> 00:12:02,587 at home. 623 00:12:02,586 --> 00:12:03,276 Make sure you bring me home 624 00:12:03,275 --> 00:12:03,925 some diamonds. 625 00:12:03,931 --> 00:12:04,721 Okay, great. 626 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,384 Twins? 627 00:12:06,379 --> 00:12:08,549 How I'm supposed to have twins? 628 00:12:08,551 --> 00:12:10,621 Ahh! 629 00:12:10,620 --> 00:12:11,660 ♪ 630 00:12:11,655 --> 00:12:12,335 [Tisha] I reconvened the 631 00:12:12,344 --> 00:12:13,454 ladies today at Kevin's house. 632 00:12:13,448 --> 00:12:14,548 I wanted to see who took their 633 00:12:14,551 --> 00:12:15,691 party-planning duties that 634 00:12:15,689 --> 00:12:17,239 I assigned seriously. 635 00:12:17,241 --> 00:12:18,621 And, of course, who has taste 636 00:12:18,620 --> 00:12:19,690 and who doesn't. 637 00:12:19,689 --> 00:12:20,589 Judging by their dress and 638 00:12:20,586 --> 00:12:22,516 behavior the first time we met, 639 00:12:22,517 --> 00:12:23,717 I already have a pretty good 640 00:12:23,724 --> 00:12:24,524 idea. 641 00:12:24,517 --> 00:12:25,207 Like, so many times-- 642 00:12:25,206 --> 00:12:25,856 [Tisha] Ladies, ladies, 643 00:12:25,862 --> 00:12:26,522 ladies, ladies! 644 00:12:26,517 --> 00:12:28,897 So, what ya got? 645 00:12:28,896 --> 00:12:29,516 Huh? Come on. 646 00:12:29,517 --> 00:12:30,207 Well, Ti-Ti... 647 00:12:30,206 --> 00:12:31,206 Yes? 648 00:12:31,206 --> 00:12:32,586 Unfortunately, we don't have 649 00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:33,236 anything. 650 00:12:33,241 --> 00:12:34,001 Yeah, nothing. 651 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:34,690 Zero. 652 00:12:34,689 --> 00:12:35,379 Nada. 653 00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:36,029 [whistling] 654 00:12:36,034 --> 00:12:36,904 Okay, all right. 655 00:12:36,896 --> 00:12:39,546 I figured as much, so I'm glad 656 00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:40,861 that I did everything. 657 00:12:40,862 --> 00:12:42,212 So if you will all follow me to 658 00:12:42,206 --> 00:12:42,896 my truck-- 659 00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:44,996 Slow your roll, black 660 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,240 Martha Stewart. 661 00:12:46,241 --> 00:12:49,281 I reached out and contacted the 662 00:12:49,275 --> 00:12:51,135 man who has everything. 663 00:12:51,137 --> 00:12:52,897 Yes, the man who did my wedding. 664 00:12:52,896 --> 00:12:53,546 No! 665 00:12:53,551 --> 00:12:54,211 [gasping] No! 666 00:12:54,206 --> 00:12:54,896 No, that guy! 667 00:12:54,896 --> 00:12:55,826 He tried to steal my husband 668 00:12:55,827 --> 00:12:56,477 afterward. 669 00:12:56,482 --> 00:12:58,692 The man we all know and love as 670 00:12:58,689 --> 00:12:59,339 my bestie... 671 00:12:59,344 --> 00:13:01,004 No, you did not bring that 672 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:01,660 fool up in here. 673 00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:02,655 Party planner extraordinaire, 674 00:13:02,655 --> 00:13:04,205 Mr. Eloquence. 675 00:13:04,206 --> 00:13:04,776 Oh, I knew it! 676 00:13:04,775 --> 00:13:08,825 [screaming] 677 00:13:08,827 --> 00:13:10,877 DiGiorno, ladies! 678 00:13:10,879 --> 00:13:12,929 DiGiorno, Mr. Eloquence! 679 00:13:12,931 --> 00:13:16,101 [all shouting] 680 00:13:16,103 --> 00:13:18,283 [Eva] Yes, yes. 681 00:13:18,275 --> 00:13:19,065 Mwah, mwah! 682 00:13:19,068 --> 00:13:20,618 Gorgeous. 683 00:13:20,620 --> 00:13:21,280 Hello. 684 00:13:21,275 --> 00:13:21,965 Caliente! 685 00:13:21,965 --> 00:13:23,475 Oh, yes, very much. 686 00:13:23,482 --> 00:13:24,142 Pleasure. 687 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:24,897 Pretty dress, how are you? 688 00:13:24,896 --> 00:13:25,476 Thank you. 689 00:13:25,482 --> 00:13:26,522 Hello, honey. 690 00:13:26,517 --> 00:13:27,237 Oh. 691 00:13:27,241 --> 00:13:28,381 He is so fabulous. 692 00:13:28,379 --> 00:13:29,929 So it's like that, huh? 693 00:13:29,931 --> 00:13:31,001 Like what? 694 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:31,860 [mockingly] Like what? 695 00:13:31,862 --> 00:13:33,102 Like what? 696 00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:34,483 It's one thing for Tisha to 697 00:13:34,482 --> 00:13:35,452 try to control other people, 698 00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:36,138 but it's another thing for 699 00:13:36,137 --> 00:13:37,377 Tisha to try to control me. 700 00:13:37,379 --> 00:13:38,619 Ask Boris. 701 00:13:38,620 --> 00:13:40,790 I'm not having it. 702 00:13:40,793 --> 00:13:42,763 My goodness, Miss Nicole. 703 00:13:42,758 --> 00:13:44,548 What kind of ragtag group have 704 00:13:44,551 --> 00:13:46,451 you assembled for me here today? 705 00:13:46,448 --> 00:13:47,548 [stammering] Who are you 706 00:13:47,551 --> 00:13:48,481 calling ragtag? 707 00:13:48,482 --> 00:13:49,692 Wait, what do ragtag mean? 708 00:13:49,689 --> 00:13:50,409 Is he insulting us? 709 00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:51,763 Girl, he just insulting you. 710 00:13:51,758 --> 00:13:53,408 I am wearing Gautier on the 711 00:13:53,413 --> 00:13:56,313 top, Cartier on my wrist, and 712 00:13:56,310 --> 00:13:58,340 La Perla underneath, baby, okay? 713 00:13:58,344 --> 00:13:59,934 How do you like those ragtags? 714 00:13:59,931 --> 00:14:00,661 [bleep] 715 00:14:00,655 --> 00:14:01,615 Ooh, really? 716 00:14:01,620 --> 00:14:03,450 That's so nice, mija, but you 717 00:14:03,448 --> 00:14:04,168 know what? 718 00:14:04,172 --> 00:14:05,862 I doubt they're La Perla because 719 00:14:05,862 --> 00:14:06,902 you look like someone who 720 00:14:06,896 --> 00:14:08,476 doesn't wear any panties, okay? 721 00:14:08,482 --> 00:14:09,552 Psychic! 722 00:14:09,551 --> 00:14:10,931 And you look like someone who 723 00:14:10,931 --> 00:14:12,281 does wear panties. 724 00:14:12,275 --> 00:14:13,655 Oh, really? 725 00:14:13,655 --> 00:14:14,375 Well, you know what? 726 00:14:14,379 --> 00:14:15,969 You can't go wrong with that 727 00:14:15,965 --> 00:14:16,615 thong. 728 00:14:16,620 --> 00:14:17,280 [imitating whipping] 729 00:14:17,275 --> 00:14:17,995 Okay, okay, okay. 730 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,240 I love him! 731 00:14:19,241 --> 00:14:19,931 Telemundo-- 732 00:14:19,931 --> 00:14:21,521 All right, mijas, listen up. 733 00:14:21,517 --> 00:14:23,307 On your feet. 734 00:14:23,310 --> 00:14:26,240 In order to have a great party, 735 00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:28,591 you have to know how to party. 736 00:14:28,586 --> 00:14:29,336 Amen. 737 00:14:29,344 --> 00:14:30,104 So guess what? 738 00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:32,593 Let's limbo on out of here, and 739 00:14:32,586 --> 00:14:33,546 follow me to the next room, 740 00:14:33,551 --> 00:14:34,341 mijas, come on. 741 00:14:34,344 --> 00:14:35,864 Andale. Whoo! 742 00:14:35,862 --> 00:14:37,102 I can't believe Nicole did 743 00:14:37,103 --> 00:14:37,793 this to me. 744 00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:40,173 I mean, come on, what did I do? 745 00:14:40,172 --> 00:14:42,102 And if you have any questions, 746 00:14:42,103 --> 00:14:45,663 don't ask me [bleep]. 747 00:14:45,655 --> 00:14:48,235 Welcome to the ultimate 748 00:14:48,241 --> 00:14:49,551 indulgence. 749 00:14:49,551 --> 00:14:57,101 [cane banging] 750 00:14:57,103 --> 00:15:03,663 ♪ 751 00:15:03,655 --> 00:15:04,755 [record scratching] 752 00:15:04,758 --> 00:15:07,068 This [bleep] brought a moose. 753 00:15:07,068 --> 00:15:08,658 My Gosh! 754 00:15:08,655 --> 00:15:09,305 Oh, my God. 755 00:15:09,310 --> 00:15:10,340 [Eva] Oh, this is good. 756 00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:12,484 This is good. 757 00:15:12,482 --> 00:15:13,722 ♪ 758 00:15:13,724 --> 00:15:16,524 [phone clicking] 759 00:15:16,517 --> 00:15:17,307 I mean, it's all right. 760 00:15:17,310 --> 00:15:18,030 I mean, I could have put a 761 00:15:18,034 --> 00:15:19,414 couple of extra candles in there 762 00:15:19,413 --> 00:15:20,723 and stuff. 763 00:15:20,724 --> 00:15:21,864 ♪ 764 00:15:21,862 --> 00:15:27,282 [indistinct chattering] 765 00:15:27,275 --> 00:15:34,615 [laughing] 766 00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:38,860 [laughter] 767 00:15:38,862 --> 00:15:40,552 Finish, finish, finish. 768 00:15:40,551 --> 00:15:43,211 So I said, "That's not a ski 769 00:15:43,206 --> 00:15:43,926 pole. 770 00:15:43,931 --> 00:15:45,551 That's a baseball bat, mija." 771 00:15:45,551 --> 00:15:49,761 [laughter] 772 00:15:49,758 --> 00:15:50,618 My mother told me that when 773 00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:51,280 I was five years old. 774 00:15:51,275 --> 00:15:52,305 That's a Puerto Rican mom 775 00:15:52,310 --> 00:15:53,310 for you. 776 00:15:53,310 --> 00:15:55,860 [chatting, laughter] 777 00:15:55,862 --> 00:15:56,522 Nicole, I wanted to say 778 00:15:56,517 --> 00:15:57,167 something to you. 779 00:15:57,172 --> 00:15:57,862 Yeah? 780 00:15:57,862 --> 00:15:58,972 I think that this is really 781 00:15:58,965 --> 00:15:59,615 fantastic. 782 00:15:59,620 --> 00:16:00,340 I couldn't have planned 783 00:16:00,344 --> 00:16:01,004 something this great. 784 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:01,690 And you know what? 785 00:16:01,689 --> 00:16:03,139 I can be a little difficult, 786 00:16:03,137 --> 00:16:04,547 a little hard to work with and-- 787 00:16:04,551 --> 00:16:06,101 and controlling, but can you 788 00:16:06,103 --> 00:16:07,693 please say something, because 789 00:16:07,689 --> 00:16:09,339 I am sitting here confessing 790 00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:10,214 myself to you? 791 00:16:10,206 --> 00:16:11,306 I've never admitted anything 792 00:16:11,310 --> 00:16:12,000 like this before... 793 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:12,660 Come here! 794 00:16:12,655 --> 00:16:13,335 And you're staring at me 795 00:16:13,344 --> 00:16:15,174 like I got two heads-- 796 00:16:15,172 --> 00:16:19,522 [screaming] 797 00:16:19,517 --> 00:16:21,997 ♪ 798 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:22,660 Where is she? 799 00:16:22,655 --> 00:16:24,305 Oh God, there-- no. 800 00:16:24,310 --> 00:16:25,930 [gasping] 801 00:16:25,931 --> 00:16:33,481 Oh, there she is. 802 00:16:33,482 --> 00:16:34,412 [Nicole] What? 803 00:16:34,413 --> 00:16:35,483 I said I'm allergic to 804 00:16:35,482 --> 00:16:37,282 shellfish. 805 00:16:37,275 --> 00:16:38,965 Well, I told Eloquence that 806 00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:40,335 you were allergic to shellfish. 807 00:16:40,344 --> 00:16:42,074 Mija, relax, it's not that 808 00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:42,758 bad. 809 00:16:42,758 --> 00:16:43,518 Right, ladies, it's not that 810 00:16:43,517 --> 00:16:44,167 bad. 811 00:16:44,172 --> 00:16:44,972 Yes, it-- are you looking at 812 00:16:44,965 --> 00:16:45,515 her face? 813 00:16:45,517 --> 00:16:46,277 I mean, it looks really bad. 814 00:16:46,275 --> 00:16:46,995 If it makes you feel any 815 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:47,720 better, sweetheart, you really 816 00:16:47,724 --> 00:16:49,034 didn't look that much better 817 00:16:49,034 --> 00:16:50,904 before this all happened. 818 00:16:50,896 --> 00:16:53,066 [Bridgette] That's true. 819 00:16:53,068 --> 00:16:54,758 All you need is makeup and 820 00:16:54,758 --> 00:16:58,898 eyeliner. 821 00:16:58,896 --> 00:17:06,306 What did I do? 822 00:17:06,310 --> 00:17:07,970 Oh, don't worry about that, 823 00:17:07,965 --> 00:17:08,615 baby. 824 00:17:08,620 --> 00:17:10,000 You don't have to host the baby 825 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:10,900 shower. 826 00:17:10,896 --> 00:17:12,236 [crying] 827 00:17:12,241 --> 00:17:14,861 'Cause I am. 828 00:17:14,862 --> 00:17:21,792 ♪ 829 00:17:21,793 --> 00:17:24,213 Look, I did not poison Tisha. 830 00:17:24,206 --> 00:17:26,166 She is my girl, okay? 831 00:17:26,172 --> 00:17:27,522 But I will admit that I did not 832 00:17:27,517 --> 00:17:28,897 stop Eloquence when he said, 833 00:17:28,896 --> 00:17:29,996 "Once it's out of the shell, 834 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,210 darling, it's no longer 835 00:17:31,206 --> 00:17:32,546 shellfish." 836 00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:33,481 [scoffing] 837 00:17:33,482 --> 00:17:34,482 He's as dumb as that shirt 838 00:17:34,482 --> 00:17:35,452 he's wearing. 839 00:17:35,448 --> 00:17:36,378 But you gotta love him. 840 00:17:36,379 --> 00:17:37,619 Anyway, I'll see you at the 841 00:17:37,620 --> 00:17:39,590 baby shower, because now, I'll 842 00:17:39,586 --> 00:17:42,336 be hosting. 843 00:17:42,344 --> 00:17:43,834 [snickering] 844 00:17:43,827 --> 00:17:44,717 No, I did not. 845 00:17:44,724 --> 00:17:45,404 You are delusional, Tisha. 846 00:17:45,396 --> 00:17:47,656 I did not-- I did not do that. 847 00:17:47,655 --> 00:17:48,395 Actually, actually, that's 848 00:17:48,396 --> 00:17:49,686 not true. 849 00:17:49,689 --> 00:17:51,209 I remember, I overheard you tell 850 00:17:51,206 --> 00:17:52,706 Eloquence that Tisha liked her 851 00:17:52,706 --> 00:17:53,276 shrimp blended. 852 00:17:53,275 --> 00:17:53,965 You said that. 853 00:17:53,965 --> 00:17:56,525 Eva, I didn't say that. 854 00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:58,144 Tisha, we've been girls for 855 00:17:58,137 --> 00:17:59,407 16 years. 856 00:17:59,413 --> 00:18:00,343 Why are you gonna believe these 857 00:18:00,344 --> 00:18:01,864 ghetto Spice Girls over me? 858 00:18:01,862 --> 00:18:02,792 Oh! Oh! 859 00:18:02,793 --> 00:18:03,863 Did she call us ghetto 860 00:18:03,862 --> 00:18:04,622 Spice Girls? 861 00:18:04,620 --> 00:18:05,760 Oh, yes, you did, sweetheart. 862 00:18:05,758 --> 00:18:06,618 That's how I came up with the 863 00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:09,100 idea of shrimp margaritas, okay? 864 00:18:09,103 --> 00:18:11,283 No, senor... ita. 865 00:18:11,275 --> 00:18:11,965 Ooh! Ooh! 866 00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:14,585 I said camarones fresco. 867 00:18:14,586 --> 00:18:16,066 [bleep], that's shrimp. 868 00:18:16,068 --> 00:18:18,478 She speaks Spanish. 869 00:18:18,482 --> 00:18:19,282 I told you. I told you. 870 00:18:19,275 --> 00:18:22,685 [all screaming] 871 00:18:22,689 --> 00:18:24,139 Somebody help me! 872 00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:26,407 No, I don't do pee-pee! 873 00:18:26,413 --> 00:18:27,073 Oh, my God! 874 00:18:27,068 --> 00:18:29,308 Yes, she did! 875 00:18:29,310 --> 00:18:30,450 [all screaming] 876 00:18:30,448 --> 00:18:32,238 Nicole, no, no! 877 00:18:32,241 --> 00:18:32,971 Get off me! 878 00:18:32,965 --> 00:18:34,685 You get off me, [bleep]! 879 00:18:34,689 --> 00:18:35,519 Aah! 880 00:18:35,517 --> 00:18:36,337 [all shouting] 881 00:18:36,344 --> 00:18:37,664 Put it down! 882 00:18:37,655 --> 00:18:42,655 [all shouting] 883 00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:43,855 Control her! 884 00:18:43,862 --> 00:18:45,002 Ah! Back up! 885 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,410 [heart monitor beeping] 886 00:18:46,413 --> 00:18:49,283 [heart monitor flatlining] 887 00:18:49,275 --> 00:18:50,375 Oh, [bleep]. 888 00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:52,339 She's dead! 889 00:18:52,344 --> 00:18:53,004 Run! 890 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:53,690 Get the hell out of here! 891 00:18:53,689 --> 00:18:54,339 It's all right! 892 00:18:54,344 --> 00:18:55,104 Go, go, go! 893 00:18:55,103 --> 00:18:57,383 [all shouting] 894 00:18:57,379 --> 00:18:58,379 Eva, Eva! 895 00:18:58,379 --> 00:18:59,029 [choking] 896 00:18:59,034 --> 00:19:00,214 Get your black ass out 897 00:19:00,206 --> 00:19:00,896 of here! 898 00:19:00,896 --> 00:19:01,546 Wait! Wait! 899 00:19:01,551 --> 00:19:02,281 Get the-- get the Kleenex! 900 00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:02,895 Come on now! 901 00:19:02,896 --> 00:19:03,546 My hair! 902 00:19:03,551 --> 00:19:07,141 My clothes aren't cheap. 903 00:19:07,137 --> 00:19:12,097 [monitor continues beeping] 904 00:19:12,103 --> 00:19:13,623 Where are those "Whites Only" 905 00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:20,660 signs when you need 'em? 906 00:19:20,655 --> 00:19:26,965 ♪ 907 00:19:26,965 --> 00:19:30,895 [heart beating] 908 00:19:30,896 --> 00:19:34,966 ♪ ♪ 53438

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