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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:59,500 --> 00:01:03,500 www.titlovi.com 2 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:10,698 On display this evening, a pastiche of painting from oddball-land. 3 00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:14,605 The poet Sir Max Beerbohm reflected that no one ever died of laughter. 4 00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:17,474 Object of brush and palette: the rebuttal. 5 00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:20,741 The clown is Jackie Slater. His occupation, a comedian. 6 00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:24,751 His aspiration is to collect funny bones and hang them on the walls of his life... 7 00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:27,287 to hide the cracked plaster and yellowed wallpaper... 8 00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:30,790 that is part of the interior decoration of failure. 9 00:01:30,857 --> 00:01:35,488 Poor Jackie Slater:A bad joke told in a foreign language in an empty hall. 10 00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:37,496 The comic unable to coax laughter. 11 00:01:37,564 --> 00:01:39,862 The painting is called Make Me Laugh. 12 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,959 And this lightless limbo is called the Night Gallery. 13 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:02,214 Hi, folks. I wanna tell you you're a wonderful audience to work for. I get a lot of love out of you. 14 00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:05,418 That's what I dig about you. Hey, one of the troops. Good to see you, marine. 15 00:02:05,492 --> 00:02:07,859 I tell you, man, supporting the country, it's beautiful. 16 00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:10,454 I did one of those veterans hospitals shows, you know, to help the boys. 17 00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:12,658 Got hit with a crutch. [Laughs] 18 00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:15,998 [ Nervous Laugh] Hey, uh, folks, uh, 19 00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:18,868 do you wanna hear the one about the astronaut who got stuck up in space? 20 00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:22,840 He says, "'How long am l gonna be up here?'" 'Cause he called mission control They said "A millennium or so.'" 21 00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:25,879 He says, "'Where am lgonna stay?'" He says, "'There's a hotel'" He goes to the hotel 22 00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:29,177 The guy says, "'How long will you need the room?'" And he says, "'Ch, about a millennium.'" 23 00:02:29,249 --> 00:02:32,913 The guy says, "'That'll cost you eight cents.'" He says, "'Eight cents for a millennium? I'm a little hungry'" 24 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:36,547 He says, "'I'm gonna have a sandwich.'" Then the guy says, "'Okay that'll cost you $800.'" 25 00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:41,060 He says, ""Eight cents for a room for a millennium and $800 for a sandwich?" 26 00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:44,154 He says, ""Yeah, in this hotel, we get you by the sandwich." [Phone Ringing] 27 00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:48,663 Uh, do you know how to make a venetian blind? 28 00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:51,204 Poke your finger in his eye. 29 00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:54,707 My wife went to the West Indies. 30 00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:57,403 Jamaica? She went of her own accord. 31 00:02:57,477 --> 00:03:02,005 [ Laughs] Hey, how do you like this suit, huh? Sort of a chopped liver gray, huh? 32 00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:04,016 The wife, uh-- Well, it's a nice fit,you know. 33 00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:06,678 But the wife says it looks more like a convulsion, huh? 34 00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:12,656 Hey, uh, folks, uh,you know, I was standing out in front of the Plaza Hotel talking to my friends. 35 00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:15,388 Uh, matter of fact, that's where I was living-- 36 00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:17,794 [Together] In front of the Plaza Hotel. Yeah. 37 00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:21,391 Well, I know you're out there, folks. Uh,yeah. Uh-huh. And I'm up here, folks. 38 00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:24,665 Of course, if the lighting is bad in here and you can't find me, just listen for the sound. 39 00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:27,469 [Siren Wailing] 40 00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:31,500 Well, ladies and gentlemen, I want to present to you... 41 00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:36,209 four of the loveliest girls you've ever seen in your life, The Rocky Mountain Rockettes. 42 00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:39,184 [Drum Beating] [Man] Yeah.! 43 00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:45,819 [Swing] 44 00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:57,501 [Sighs] How did it go, booby? 45 00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:03,105 Not so bad for a first shot. 46 00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:06,476 I'm gonna rework it a little before the next show. 47 00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:19,249 So say it! 48 00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:22,327 Say what? What do you wanna hear? 49 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:34,207 It would have been nice to hear you out there, pushing a couple of yocks over forme. 50 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:38,840 Beating your hands together a couple of times. 51 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:43,211 I'm playing Forest Lawn. 52 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,411 I got the only agent who makes it like it's a federal act:. 53 00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:48,079 That say she's got to be horizontal after sunset. 54 00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:51,955 Hmm. Didn't goover so good, huh, booby? 55 00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:55,290 The only tomb with a stage in it. 56 00:04:55,362 --> 00:04:57,694 That's the only stage with a corpse on it. 57 00:04:57,764 --> 00:05:00,096 He warms up slow, Mr. Mishkin. 58 00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:03,294 It's 102 out there. The stiff couldn't warm up in a boiler room. 59 00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:06,135 Tough audience, Mr. Mishkin. You'll give me that,won't you? 60 00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:10,200 Tell you what I'll give you, papers to walk. Do the next show, then cut. 61 00:05:10,277 --> 00:05:12,746 But you said three weekends. 62 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,303 That was before I heard him. 63 00:05:15,382 --> 00:05:18,044 Look.You are his agent. Isn't that the idea? 64 00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:20,177 Six teen years, Mr. Mishkin. 65 00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:23,188 Then book him in the Air Force Museum. 66 00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:26,920 This guy doesn't tell jokes. He goes on bombing missions. 67 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:30,520 Hey,you can't ace me out after one lousy show, Mr. Mishkin. 68 00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:35,434 I can't? Read your contract. 69 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:39,632 Gimme a break. What do you got to lose? 70 00:05:39,706 --> 00:05:42,732 I mean, an act's gotta build. I-I mean, a couple of weeks for the word of mouth. 71 00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:45,471 Tell him,Julie. Tell him,Julie. 72 00:05:45,545 --> 00:05:48,845 Tell him about that gig in Buffalo. Six weeks held over! 73 00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:52,374 Capacity audience in a tough room! 74 00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:55,888 I mean,when I start to grow, man, I-I zoom. 75 00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:58,823 I can fill the Hollywood Bowl 76 00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:02,624 Unasked, the following opinion: 77 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:06,028 You couldn't fill a men's room with free shoe shines. 78 00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:38,054 Wanna know something? 79 00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:44,102 I was a fat... 80 00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:48,140 ugly little kid. 81 00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:53,136 And when I used to go to boy's camp... 82 00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:58,517 all the kids used to... 83 00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,519 push me off the dock. 84 00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:06,790 And everybody used to laugh. 85 00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:11,757 So I decided that's what I'd do with my life. 86 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:17,027 I'd make people laugh. 87 00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:28,810 You made some people laugh, booby. 88 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:36,218 Jules, 89 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:39,122 my loyal, 90 00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:43,857 steadfast friend and artist's representative. 91 00:07:45,432 --> 00:07:49,060 I'm a second-rate schlep going nowhere. 92 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:55,973 Sixteen years we scratched each other's backs. 93 00:07:56,042 --> 00:08:00,673 I was still digging around in garbage dumps for one-nighters. 94 00:08:01,948 --> 00:08:04,076 Well,what does he know? 95 00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:07,415 I-I mean, can you picture that creep laughing at anything, huh? 96 00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,923 [Chuckles] 97 00:08:13,793 --> 00:08:15,887 I got a funny bit. 98 00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:24,234 Now that's funny, me thinking I'm funny. 99 00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:27,873 That's funny. 100 00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,602 [Chuckling] 101 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:33,668 I wish I could make somebody laugh. 102 00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:36,614 I'd give up everything l got. 103 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:39,414 Everything I got... 104 00:08:40,987 --> 00:08:45,948 just to make somebody laugh. 105 00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:50,094 [Man] Hey barkeep, doesn't this thing ever pay off? 106 00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:53,031 [Clanging] 107 00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:02,074 -Jackie Slater? - Hmm? 108 00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:05,440 Your agent called Jackie. 109 00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:09,608 Loyal, steadfast and true. 110 00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:14,882 Bankrupt, dispossessed and on his way to Philadelphia with a steel guitar band. 111 00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:17,048 Without me? 112 00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:19,091 I gather you didn't kill them in Perth Amboy. 113 00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:22,060 They were dead already in Perth Amboy. 114 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,831 I give you Perth Amboy. 115 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,594 I give you Michigan's Palladium. 116 00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:31,933 Six tables with a pallbearer at each one of them. 117 00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:49,347 We have not met, yefendi. 118 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:53,620 Chatterje is the name. Miracles by profession. 119 00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:58,293 Miracles. Miracles. 120 00:09:58,364 --> 00:10:00,298 [Pinball Machine Clanging] 121 00:10:00,366 --> 00:10:03,165 That's just what I need, Mr. Chatterje. 122 00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:08,804 You are now face-to-face with Mr. Unlucky. 123 00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:11,867 Forgiveness, Mr. Slater, but compared to me, 124 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:14,505 you are the winner of the Irish Sweepstakes. 125 00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:18,347 You are the owner of the 1969 New York Mets. 126 00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:22,855 And on the day they repealed prohibition,you are the Little Old Winemaker. 127 00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:27,052 Your indulgence, Mr. Chatterje, but I am a-a ship maker in the desert. 128 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,822 I am a diamond cutter with the palsy. 129 00:10:29,896 --> 00:10:33,264 I am an opera singer with laryngitis. 130 00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:38,669 Reflect if you will, Mr. Slater, on this undersized guru who sits beside you; 131 00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:41,070 this child of adversity. 132 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:44,541 They booked me in a Democratic dinner in New Rochelle. 133 00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:47,670 They wanted to replace me with William F. Buckley. 134 00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:50,375 180,000 guys roaming the streets, looking for a bar. 135 00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:52,475 And what do I get? The formaldehyde twins. 136 00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:55,317 Now for laughs, why don't you two guys go out in the park and get mugged, huh? 137 00:10:55,388 --> 00:11:00,383 Preferable. Decidedly preferable to what is in store for me-- 138 00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:02,485 death, certainly before dishonor. 139 00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:06,260 You, Mr. Slater, are yet a young man with much ahead of you. 140 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:09,358 It need not always be Perth Amboy. 141 00:11:09,435 --> 00:11:12,530 You could yet make it on The Andy Williams Show 142 00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:17,702 I, on the other hand, am fingering the tassels at the far end of my rope. 143 00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:20,678 By midnight tonight, if I do not perform a miracle, 144 00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:25,012 I am relieved of my powers and I have dishonored my ancestors. 145 00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:27,212 So work a miracle. Who's stopping you? 146 00:11:28,454 --> 00:11:30,684 There is no willing recipient. 147 00:11:30,757 --> 00:11:35,285 No soul trusting enough to allow this poor guru to conjure up a blessing. 148 00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,296 I am without hope. 149 00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:41,800 I am a dispossessed soul, tiptoeing in agony... 150 00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:44,563 across the wasteland of my shattered dreams. 151 00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:49,597 Wait a minute. What's with this miracle bit? 152 00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:52,644 Ah,you are now diddling with the essence,yefendi. 153 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:56,649 Every miracle-working guru must work a wonder at least once a month. 154 00:11:56,716 --> 00:12:00,346 I am in arrears, hence disaster. 155 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,354 What kind of miracle? 156 00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:04,356 Name it. 157 00:12:05,758 --> 00:12:08,125 Could you get me on The Dean Martin Show? 158 00:12:08,194 --> 00:12:10,526 You should only ask. 159 00:12:10,597 --> 00:12:13,895 Could you get me four weeks at The Sands in Las Vegas? 160 00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:15,901 With options. 161 00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:18,563 Could--Could you-- Could you-- 162 00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:20,800 Speak,yefendi, speak! 163 00:12:22,008 --> 00:12:26,775 Could you fix it so I can make people laugh? 164 00:12:26,846 --> 00:12:30,339 Hysterically. Uncontrollably. 165 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:33,078 Beyond your wildest dreams. 166 00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:35,246 So do it. 167 00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:39,586 Do it? Make a miracle. 168 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:42,594 Th-This moment? 169 00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:45,791 You got until midnight to make a miracle, so--so be my guest. 170 00:12:46,799 --> 00:12:48,733 I-It shall be done, but-- 171 00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:51,702 But what? But what? The payoff, huh? Huh? 172 00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:54,206 What? The small print, huh? 173 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:57,765 Candor dictates certain prior admissions, Mr. Slater. 174 00:12:57,844 --> 00:13:02,008 Before a miracle is wrought, it is necessary that I leave no truth unspoken. 175 00:13:02,081 --> 00:13:07,451 This is a cardinal rule amongst the Order of Working Miracle-making Gurus. 176 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,922 In the hierarchy of my art, how shall I say, 177 00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:13,357 I am something less than proficient. 178 00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:19,024 That is to say I am given to small imperfections in the miracles wrought. 179 00:13:19,098 --> 00:13:21,931 Which is why l find myself at this 11th hour: 180 00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:25,869 so precariously in the proximity of the proverbial creek. 181 00:13:25,938 --> 00:13:27,872 What imperfections? 182 00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:32,502 Insignificant imperfections. Small, itsy-bitsy. 183 00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:35,809 But it is necessary that I acquaint you with the fact that in the circle of my peers... 184 00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:38,544 I am known as-- as a klutz. 185 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:44,120 So l'm obliged to tell you of certain miracles wrought by me:. 186 00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,625 Where small ironies intruded, 187 00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:50,186 and the results were, how shall I say, unfortunate. 188 00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:53,096 I don't care. 189 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:57,296 There was a wrestler in Vero Beach, Florida, who wanted to visit Tibet. 190 00:13:57,370 --> 00:14:02,308 That was his dream. He awoke to find himself stranded atop Mount Everest, 191 00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:05,070 in the midst of an unmerciful blizzard. 192 00:14:05,144 --> 00:14:07,340 They finally had to fetch him down with a pair of ice tongs. 193 00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:10,348 I wanna make people laugh! 194 00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:12,851 I have in mind another ill-starred venture, 195 00:14:12,919 --> 00:14:16,820 having to do with a retired schoolteacher in Spokane,Washington. 196 00:14:16,889 --> 00:14:20,917 A Civil War buff. A passionate admirer of the Great Emancipator. 197 00:14:20,993 --> 00:14:25,487 Wanted only one thing: to be in Lincoln's shoes. 198 00:14:25,565 --> 00:14:29,227 Wound up in an insane asylum, claiming he was a woolen sock. 199 00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:33,739 Had to be restrained from sticking darning needles into his head 200 00:14:33,806 --> 00:14:36,207 Am l getting through to you, Mr Slater? 201 00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:39,438 There are miracles, and there are risks. 202 00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:43,415 But I don't care. I'll take the risks. Just do it! 203 00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:51,817 It is done. It is done.!Done.! 204 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:54,053 What? Done. 205 00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:57,493 -What?Wh-What's done? - ""What's done?" 206 00:14:57,563 --> 00:15:00,430 What did you say? Did you say, ""What's done?" 207 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:04,232 What's done? What's done?What's done? 208 00:15:04,303 --> 00:15:07,102 [Laughing] What's done? 209 00:15:10,309 --> 00:15:13,176 I can't believe you said ""What's done?" 210 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:16,477 Ch, I can't believe it. He said "'What's done?'" 211 00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:19,177 [Continues Laughing] 212 00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:23,153 Come here. Come here. This guy has got the greatest routine. Say it again. ""What's done?" 213 00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:26,886 What's done? Come here. 214 00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:29,758 Do it. Do it. Give it to them. What's done? 215 00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:34,432 [All Laughing] 216 00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:39,705 What's done? 217 00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:50,749 Hey, guru, 218 00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:53,650 you done it. 219 00:15:53,719 --> 00:15:56,450 You made a miracle. 220 00:15:59,358 --> 00:16:02,851 Yes,yefendi. I'm afraid you're right. 221 00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:15,398 [Laughter] 222 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:24,673 [Jackie] You know how to make a venetian blind? Poke your finger in his eye. 223 00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:27,947 [Cheering;Applause] 224 00:16:30,356 --> 00:16:33,121 [Jazz] 225 00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:42,396 Hi, booby. 226 00:16:42,468 --> 00:16:47,338 Aw,you killed 'em. You were fantastic. I was listening. 227 00:16:47,406 --> 00:16:49,966 I mean, all you had to do was to open up your mouth. 228 00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:52,409 Yeah. 229 00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:54,640 I was, uh, 230 00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:57,079 I was really proud of you,Jackie. 231 00:16:58,584 --> 00:17:02,452 You should be. I done it all myself. 232 00:17:05,324 --> 00:17:09,659 I thought steel guitar bands was your current thing. 233 00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:13,791 Was, is right. They rusted out on me. 234 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:17,769 I got' em a fair date in Columbus, Ohio, and they got booed off the stage. 235 00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:23,100 I had no choice,Jackie. I had to take on somebody else or starve. 236 00:17:25,244 --> 00:17:27,770 Forget it. I understand. 237 00:17:30,149 --> 00:17:32,413 What I don't understand though... 238 00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:35,453 is how come I'm not getting any kicks. 239 00:17:35,521 --> 00:17:37,455 What do you mean? 240 00:17:37,523 --> 00:17:39,651 I mean I'm boffo wherever l am. 241 00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:44,458 I mean, every time I open up my mouth, everything I say, they scream. 242 00:17:44,530 --> 00:17:48,228 I mean, I tell old jokes,Julie. I don't mean just old, I mean with cobwebs on them. 243 00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:50,599 I mean antiques, and they roll all over the floor. 244 00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:52,762 Well, that's great. 245 00:17:52,838 --> 00:17:54,966 It should be great. 246 00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:59,569 But it isn't. It's... dull. 247 00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:02,444 But isn't that what you wanted, to make people laugh? 248 00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:04,779 Well isn't that what you'redoing? 249 00:18:05,851 --> 00:18:09,913 Look. I-I read the Variety reviews about the bit you did on the Skelton show, 250 00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:11,923 and they said you broke up the joint. 251 00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:17,254 I broke up the joint. You wanna know what I did? 252 00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:24,467 I put on my hat, walked on-camera. 253 00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:27,063 I took off my hat. 254 00:18:27,139 --> 00:18:30,302 They screamed all over the place. 255 00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:35,007 I finished my routine. I put back on my hat. I walked off.That's it. 256 00:18:36,082 --> 00:18:40,144 Big deal. I took off my hat. 257 00:18:40,219 --> 00:18:43,154 It's a wonder Skelton didn't fire his writers right on the spot. 258 00:18:43,222 --> 00:18:46,817 I mean, he's the guy who works months to work on a little piece of business... 259 00:18:46,892 --> 00:18:49,486 in a hope that it'll payoff in a couple of chuckles. 260 00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:55,023 And I walk on, take off my hat, and they scream. 261 00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:58,036 I mean, I haven't heard such laughs since they pushed me off the dock. 262 00:18:59,205 --> 00:19:02,106 -So? -Jules. 263 00:19:02,174 --> 00:19:04,541 [Sighs] 264 00:19:04,610 --> 00:19:08,069 Don't you understand? I'm bored. 265 00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:15,111 I used to have to work forit. No, fight fo rit. 266 00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:18,623 And now it's all... 267 00:19:20,626 --> 00:19:22,594 Dullsville, U.S.A. 268 00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:25,425 What do you want? 269 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,092 I mean,you all the time wanted to make people laugh. 270 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:31,535 Well, look. Now it's happening. 271 00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:33,936 I mean, what else is there? 272 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:36,668 A comic wants to get laughs. 273 00:19:37,943 --> 00:19:41,140 There's gotta be something more. There's gotta be more to it than that. 274 00:19:41,213 --> 00:19:43,147 Anybody can get laughs. [Audience Clapping] 275 00:19:43,215 --> 00:19:47,243 A dum-dum takes a pratfall. A fat kid gets pushed off the dock. 276 00:19:47,319 --> 00:19:51,051 Hardy-har-har. Big deal! 277 00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:54,388 Look at this, man. I got-- I go ta telegram. Look at these telegrams. 278 00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:59,694 I got-- I got offers. I got deals. I got guarantees. 279 00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:04,134 But to be what? A rum-dum baggy pants schnook. Look here. 280 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,228 [Continues] 281 00:20:09,075 --> 00:20:11,009 Look at this. 282 00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:18,174 Well,who's David Garrick? 283 00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:22,983 Julie, get outta the tent shows. Forget the carnivals. 284 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:26,992 You wanna manage donnickers and ragbag operators all your life? 285 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,960 This is legit. This is Broadway. 286 00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:35,160 ""We'd like to discuss with you the possibility of your playing a straight dramatic role... 287 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,669 in play l have under option." 288 00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:42,400 Julie,you dig it? A straight dramatic role. 289 00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:44,807 Jackie Slater, an actor. 290 00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:47,938 Now look, booby. You never did no acting. 291 00:20:48,013 --> 00:20:50,914 You were never a straight man. You area comic. 292 00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:54,078 Was a comic. Was a clown. 293 00:20:54,153 --> 00:20:57,384 Was a dolt,was a dunce, was a klutz. 294 00:20:57,456 --> 00:21:01,086 No more, understand? An actor--Jackie Slater. 295 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,252 No, make that Jack Slater. 296 00:21:03,329 --> 00:21:06,355 No,John Slater. 297 00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:09,959 No...Jonathan Slater. 298 00:21:11,737 --> 00:21:15,901 For the best actor in a starring role-- 299 00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:17,909 the envelope, please. 300 00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:22,380 The winner... 301 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:28,712 Jonathan Slater. 302 00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:32,245 All right, Mr. Slater. I'd like your reading now. 303 00:21:32,324 --> 00:21:35,089 Page one. Of act two. From the top. 304 00:21:35,161 --> 00:21:38,493 Oh. Now just keep in mind that you're a circus clown. 305 00:21:38,564 --> 00:21:42,364 You've just discovered that your wife has left you. In fact,you've just read the note. 306 00:21:42,434 --> 00:21:45,893 And at this moment, there isn't a single thing in the world that you wanna live for 307 00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:47,905 Yeah, I got it. I got it. Right. 308 00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:51,876 Oh, uh, Miss Wilson. Would you read the girl acrobat, please? 309 00:22:03,422 --> 00:22:06,790 What's the matter, Bimbo? You look odd. 310 00:22:06,859 --> 00:22:10,760 Sure, odd. I'm a clown. 311 00:22:11,764 --> 00:22:13,926 A clown's supposed to look odd. 312 00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:16,900 A funny thing happened to me on the way to the big top. 313 00:22:18,404 --> 00:22:20,496 My life just got dissolved. 314 00:22:20,573 --> 00:22:22,507 [Giggling] 315 00:22:24,977 --> 00:22:28,277 A clown isn't supposed to cry! 316 00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:32,079 He's supposed to laugh. [All Laughing] 317 00:22:38,958 --> 00:22:42,451 But the smiles... 318 00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:44,462 are just painted on. 319 00:22:55,007 --> 00:22:58,807 I-I'm sorry, Mr. Garrick, but the guy's a comic. 320 00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:01,607 No matter what he reads, it comes out like a gag. 321 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:05,514 I thought he had what we needed. Something--Something in his face. 322 00:23:05,584 --> 00:23:10,044 Face, gestures, everything. He's strictly for laughs. 323 00:23:10,122 --> 00:23:12,056 Look at him. 324 00:23:12,124 --> 00:23:14,593 Just look at him. 325 00:23:14,660 --> 00:23:19,063 Okay I made a mistake. Shake his hand pat him on the back and get him out of here. 326 00:23:19,131 --> 00:23:21,964 [Snaps Fingers] 327 00:23:26,839 --> 00:23:29,069 You wanna know what you are? 328 00:23:29,141 --> 00:23:32,509 You're a bunch of dirty, rotten, insensitive people. 329 00:23:32,578 --> 00:23:34,910 That's what you are. 330 00:23:34,980 --> 00:23:38,644 You're the kind-- the kind who pushed me off the dock. 331 00:23:38,717 --> 00:23:41,516 ""Pushed him off the dock." 332 00:23:59,939 --> 00:24:02,203 [Laughter Continues] 333 00:24:34,173 --> 00:24:38,872 As must be obvious,yefendi, miracles are not without risks. 334 00:24:38,944 --> 00:24:41,709 Unforeseen little addenda. 335 00:24:41,780 --> 00:24:43,805 ""Unforeseen little addenda"? 336 00:24:43,882 --> 00:24:48,080 Thanks to you, I can't say ""How are you?Good morning. A glass of orange juice, please"... 337 00:24:48,153 --> 00:24:50,815 without people breaking up in screaming convulsions. 338 00:24:50,889 --> 00:24:52,823 It was as you wished, yefendi. 339 00:24:52,891 --> 00:24:55,360 Well, I don't wish it anymore. Understand? 340 00:24:55,427 --> 00:24:59,887 I want you to fix it so that I never have anybody laugh at me again. 341 00:24:59,965 --> 00:25:02,832 Yefendi, there is an unwritten law: 342 00:25:02,901 --> 00:25:04,869 One miracle to a customer. 343 00:25:04,937 --> 00:25:08,999 I don't care, you second-rate swami. I want another miracle. 344 00:25:09,074 --> 00:25:14,069 I want you to fix it so that I can touch people, move them. 345 00:25:14,146 --> 00:25:16,979 Make'em cry, not laugh. 346 00:25:17,049 --> 00:25:19,780 You get that? And I want it done now. 347 00:25:19,852 --> 00:25:21,820 Because if you don't, what's left of you... 348 00:25:21,887 --> 00:25:26,347 will be able to be stuffed in that moth-eaten turban and dumped in a doggie bag. 349 00:25:31,063 --> 00:25:33,498 It is done. 350 00:25:33,565 --> 00:25:35,624 ""Done." Done. 351 00:25:35,701 --> 00:25:39,638 You'll never again be laughed at,yefendi. Never ever. 352 00:25:42,141 --> 00:25:44,701 Well,we'll just see. We'll just see. 353 00:25:44,777 --> 00:25:46,903 [Traffc Noises] 354 00:25:50,115 --> 00:25:52,812 Hey lady! Hey!Hey lady! 355 00:25:52,885 --> 00:25:56,651 Hey, lady, did you hear the one about the two Arabs... 356 00:25:56,722 --> 00:25:59,087 -who met on a streetcar, while the first one-- - [ Horn Honks] 357 00:25:59,158 --> 00:26:01,557 - [Yells] - [Thud] 358 00:26:01,627 --> 00:26:03,595 [Clamoring] 359 00:26:03,662 --> 00:26:06,632 [Man]Now try to keep calm. I just told you, we've already called the police. 360 00:26:06,698 --> 00:26:09,360 They're on their way here now [Clamoring Continues] 361 00:26:09,435 --> 00:26:12,370 [Jazz] 362 00:26:34,093 --> 00:26:37,028 I wonder if l'll ever get the hang of this. 363 00:26:38,230 --> 00:26:40,562 [Sobbing] 364 00:26:45,671 --> 00:26:48,400 [Woman Laughs] [Ends] 365 00:26:52,111 --> 00:26:56,275 Our second painting this evening has to dowith the stalker and the victim. 366 00:26:56,348 --> 00:26:58,282 The hunter and the hunted. 367 00:26:58,350 --> 00:27:03,914 That rare breed of Homo sapien whose love of butchery is not a sport but a consuming passion. 368 00:27:03,989 --> 00:27:07,948 Offered to you now, Clean Killsand Other Trophies. 369 00:27:23,008 --> 00:27:24,976 [Thunderclap] 370 00:27:35,187 --> 00:27:38,179 I call this my trophy room, Mr. Pierce. 371 00:27:39,791 --> 00:27:42,817 Oh, I'll take care of that,Tom. Very good, sir. 372 00:27:42,895 --> 00:27:45,294 Tom here is an Ibo. 373 00:27:45,364 --> 00:27:47,696 He's the son of a tribal chief. 374 00:27:47,766 --> 00:27:49,825 He's a highly educated young man. 375 00:27:49,902 --> 00:27:52,530 His father sent him to school in England. 376 00:27:52,604 --> 00:27:55,403 Will that be all sir? That'll be all. Thank you,Tom. 377 00:27:55,474 --> 00:27:57,408 Excuse me, gentlemen. 378 00:28:00,579 --> 00:28:02,843 Quite a specimen, isn't he? 379 00:28:02,915 --> 00:28:05,280 Specimen? [Thunderclap] 380 00:28:05,350 --> 00:28:10,914 He's an African, Mr. Pierce. Don't be misled by the Oxford accent or the tailored clothes. 381 00:28:10,989 --> 00:28:14,357 For all the outward accoutrements of civilization, 382 00:28:14,426 --> 00:28:16,360 he's never left the jungle. 383 00:28:16,428 --> 00:28:21,992 He still carries amulets and fervently believes in black magic. 384 00:28:22,067 --> 00:28:25,401 A pagan savage, Mr. Pierce, like all his breed. 385 00:28:25,470 --> 00:28:29,498 About the trust fund, Colonel. I'll only require your signature. 386 00:28:29,575 --> 00:28:34,638 I've made all the arrangements for the money to go to the beneficiary. 387 00:28:34,713 --> 00:28:36,943 Plenty of time, Mr. Pierce. 388 00:28:37,015 --> 00:28:40,076 Plenty of time for Archie's inheritance. 389 00:28:41,620 --> 00:28:45,818 Do you know anything of hunting, Mr. Pierce? Or guns? 390 00:28:45,891 --> 00:28:47,882 I'm afraid not, sir. 391 00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:52,259 -That's your hobby, my father said. - Hobby? 392 00:28:52,331 --> 00:28:54,356 Hardly a hobby. 393 00:28:54,433 --> 00:28:56,731 It's what I do with my life. 394 00:28:56,802 --> 00:28:59,999 I don't think there's any game in the world that I haven't stalked. 395 00:29:00,072 --> 00:29:02,232 Stalked and killed. 396 00:29:04,576 --> 00:29:09,377 This, uh, baby here is a--a Thompson gazelle. 397 00:29:09,448 --> 00:29:11,382 I got him in the Nyeri Forest. 398 00:29:11,450 --> 00:29:14,351 Those horns are 16 and three-quarter inches long. 399 00:29:14,419 --> 00:29:17,980 It's mentioned in Ward's Records of Big Game. 400 00:29:19,224 --> 00:29:22,819 I understand you just graduated college,Arch. 401 00:29:22,894 --> 00:29:25,829 Yes, his sole, remarkable achievement to date. 402 00:29:25,897 --> 00:29:29,959 That is, if you don't give points for excessive brandy consumption. 403 00:29:31,169 --> 00:29:34,161 This might interest you, Pierce. 404 00:29:34,239 --> 00:29:37,573 That chap gave me big trouble. 405 00:29:37,643 --> 00:29:40,702 I got him on a rainy night. Lions are temperamental beasts. 406 00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:42,838 They're subject to moods. 407 00:29:42,914 --> 00:29:45,815 Rainy weather makes them nervous. 408 00:29:45,884 --> 00:29:48,615 But darkness stimulates them. 409 00:29:48,687 --> 00:29:53,147 They hunt at night, and I hunted him at night. 410 00:29:53,225 --> 00:29:57,025 One other trouble about lions is that they can see in the dark. 411 00:29:57,095 --> 00:30:00,258 So, for openers, he had all the advantage-- 412 00:30:00,332 --> 00:30:03,165 rain, night... 413 00:30:03,235 --> 00:30:05,169 and his uncanny sense of smell. 414 00:30:05,237 --> 00:30:09,572 All the advantages, Colonel, except a gun. 415 00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:14,101 A lion on a charge can run 40 miles an hour, Pierce. 416 00:30:14,179 --> 00:30:16,409 If you haven't got a gun or a marksman's eye, 417 00:30:16,481 --> 00:30:19,007 he can spread you over the map of Africa. 418 00:30:20,786 --> 00:30:23,549 Do you hunt,Arch? 419 00:30:23,622 --> 00:30:25,556 Archie hunt? 420 00:30:25,624 --> 00:30:28,150 Does that look like a hunter, Pierce? 421 00:30:28,226 --> 00:30:32,561 Can you picture that dish of jellied consomme squaring off to a wild animal? 422 00:30:32,631 --> 00:30:38,331 No,Archie does little but occupy space. [Brandy Pouring] 423 00:30:38,403 --> 00:30:42,067 Hunting requires traits of character that he fails to possess. 424 00:30:42,140 --> 00:30:45,337 Not the least being guts. 425 00:30:45,410 --> 00:30:48,175 But not everyone goes in for hunting, Colonel. 426 00:30:48,246 --> 00:30:50,180 I am not concerned with everyone. 427 00:30:50,248 --> 00:30:52,774 I'm concerned with that pallid handwringer over there, 428 00:30:52,851 --> 00:30:57,618 who would take his inheritance and give it to one of his myriad causes-- 429 00:30:57,689 --> 00:30:59,851 Senegalese unwed mothers, 430 00:30:59,925 --> 00:31:02,485 pickaninny's free lunch program. 431 00:31:02,561 --> 00:31:05,758 Or perhaps something dearer to his heart and character-- 432 00:31:05,831 --> 00:31:08,994 the Women's Liberation Movement. 433 00:31:09,067 --> 00:31:13,095 My father would prefer that I do a little random killing. 434 00:31:13,171 --> 00:31:17,074 Why not? Man has been killing for a million years. 435 00:31:17,142 --> 00:31:19,474 And man is not the only animal in the jungle. 436 00:31:19,544 --> 00:31:21,512 If we don't kill others, they'll kill us. 437 00:31:21,580 --> 00:31:24,275 That's the equation of survival. 438 00:31:24,349 --> 00:31:27,114 What if you both survive? Do you hear that,Archie? 439 00:31:27,185 --> 00:31:29,552 You have a colleague, a kindred soul. 440 00:31:29,621 --> 00:31:34,252 And do you think that is wrong to kill something like that? 441 00:31:34,326 --> 00:31:36,260 If it's done unnecessarily. 442 00:31:36,328 --> 00:31:39,057 ""If it's done unnecessarily." 443 00:31:39,131 --> 00:31:44,090 So the criterion of cruelty is not the act but the motive. 444 00:31:44,169 --> 00:31:46,604 [Chuckles] 445 00:31:46,671 --> 00:31:51,302 There is a certain tribe in Africa called the Masai, Pierce. 446 00:31:54,479 --> 00:31:56,413 Every now and then, 447 00:31:56,481 --> 00:31:59,815 they pick out some of their less active senior citizens... 448 00:31:59,885 --> 00:32:04,618 and put them out in the bush so the hyenas can eat them alive. 449 00:32:04,689 --> 00:32:09,456 Didn't Adam Smith have some theory about overpopulation? 450 00:32:09,528 --> 00:32:11,519 The painted savages don't need fancy economists:. 451 00:32:11,596 --> 00:32:15,499 To tell them how to keep the population down. 452 00:32:15,567 --> 00:32:19,504 They act upon instinct. The instinct of survival. 453 00:32:19,571 --> 00:32:22,734 I suppose you would call that cruel,would you? 454 00:32:22,808 --> 00:32:27,107 I'd call it savage, uncivilized. 455 00:32:27,179 --> 00:32:30,875 But at least it's death with some purpose. 456 00:32:30,949 --> 00:32:33,441 I kill with a purpose. 457 00:32:33,518 --> 00:32:38,012 And my purpose is to prove that I am superior to what I kill. 458 00:32:41,126 --> 00:32:43,060 Archie? [Thunderclap] 459 00:32:43,128 --> 00:32:45,324 A point of information. 460 00:32:48,333 --> 00:32:52,634 Mr. Pierce has a briefcase with some papers in it for me to sign. 461 00:32:52,704 --> 00:32:55,605 There's a couple of million dollars worth of securities, 462 00:32:55,674 --> 00:32:59,006 stocks and bonds waiting for you. 463 00:33:00,078 --> 00:33:02,672 Are you aware of that? I'm quite aware of that. 464 00:33:02,747 --> 00:33:06,012 Oh, he's quite aware of that. [Thunderclap] 465 00:33:06,084 --> 00:33:08,485 And are you aware that you will be a millionaire... 466 00:33:08,553 --> 00:33:11,045 in a few weeks? Yes. 467 00:33:11,122 --> 00:33:15,059 And are you aware that it only requires my signature? 468 00:33:15,126 --> 00:33:17,060 I'll, uh,just get my briefcase. 469 00:33:17,128 --> 00:33:20,758 That will not be necessary. I know the contents of that briefcase. 470 00:33:20,832 --> 00:33:23,494 I know the nature of those securities-- 471 00:33:23,568 --> 00:33:27,266 their number, their names, their current values. 472 00:33:27,339 --> 00:33:29,671 I want to make a codicil. 473 00:33:29,741 --> 00:33:32,335 A codicil? Correct. 474 00:33:39,251 --> 00:33:44,712 If within 15 days, my son has not killed himself an animal, 475 00:33:44,789 --> 00:33:47,884 I wish to dissolve the trust. 476 00:33:47,959 --> 00:33:51,862 Are you aware of the condition I have just imposed? 477 00:33:51,930 --> 00:33:56,367 I wish you to kill an animal... by yourself. 478 00:33:56,434 --> 00:33:59,301 -With a gun. -[Thunderclap] 479 00:33:59,371 --> 00:34:01,531 Exhibit ""A," Mr. Pierce. 480 00:34:01,606 --> 00:34:04,769 The illustrious heir having just been given due notice... 481 00:34:04,843 --> 00:34:09,610 that his father has arbitrarily diddled him of what is his, 482 00:34:09,681 --> 00:34:12,946 does nothing but stand there and suffer. 483 00:34:13,018 --> 00:34:14,952 Colonel-- 484 00:34:15,020 --> 00:34:19,649 By rights, he should by now have been rifle-butting me into oblivion. 485 00:34:19,724 --> 00:34:23,592 But that is not Archie's breed. He has no aptitude for violence. 486 00:34:23,662 --> 00:34:26,324 He's been taken on trips through the jungle, 487 00:34:26,398 --> 00:34:28,924 to hunting preserves, the African velt-- 488 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:33,938 place swhich most boys would welcome as high adventure. 489 00:34:34,005 --> 00:34:37,600 But whenever a gun was fired, I found him cowering under a bush. 490 00:34:37,676 --> 00:34:40,873 Sir, none of this is my business. 491 00:34:40,946 --> 00:34:43,574 I'm here for a specific reason, 492 00:34:43,648 --> 00:34:45,742 to handle the reversion of the trust fund. 493 00:34:45,817 --> 00:34:47,945 That's all I'm supposed to do. 494 00:34:48,019 --> 00:34:50,181 As to any disagreement you may have with your son-- 495 00:34:50,255 --> 00:34:53,350 As to any disagreement between me and my son, 496 00:34:53,425 --> 00:34:58,192 that is very much your business, Mr. Pierce, because it relates to the trust. 497 00:34:58,263 --> 00:35:03,667 I am not going to hand a gravy bowl over to this simpering vegetable who has dishonored me. 498 00:35:03,735 --> 00:35:06,534 I'm afraid you don't have any choice in that matter. 499 00:35:06,605 --> 00:35:08,697 I could refuse to sign. 500 00:35:08,773 --> 00:35:11,606 That would be most unwise, sir. 501 00:35:11,676 --> 00:35:14,270 You've been paying fiduciary taxes on-- 502 00:35:14,346 --> 00:35:16,815 Don't give me that fiduciary nonsense. 503 00:35:16,881 --> 00:35:19,475 -What could he do to me? - He could sue you. 504 00:35:19,551 --> 00:35:21,815 [ Laughs] Sue me? 505 00:35:21,886 --> 00:35:25,447 This vegetable get a battery of lawyers and sue me? 506 00:35:25,523 --> 00:35:29,289 He could start proceedings in the morning in a court of law. 507 00:35:30,328 --> 00:35:32,660 That would be my advice to him. 508 00:35:32,731 --> 00:35:37,565 And my advice to you, Mr. Pierce, is to go to bed and get some sleep. 509 00:35:37,636 --> 00:35:42,800 [Thunderclap] Because tomorrow, Archie and I are hunting deer. 510 00:35:42,874 --> 00:35:46,435 And my son is going to fire a gun... 511 00:35:46,511 --> 00:35:49,947 for the first time in his miserable life. 512 00:35:50,015 --> 00:35:52,141 Because if he doesn't, 513 00:35:52,217 --> 00:35:55,949 I'll take every security in that trust fund... 514 00:35:56,021 --> 00:36:00,583 and I will drivel it away on every high-risk venture... 515 00:36:00,659 --> 00:36:04,220 that I can find in either market. 516 00:36:04,295 --> 00:36:09,597 By Wednesday morning, I will turn that two million dollars into wastepaper. 517 00:36:19,177 --> 00:36:23,910 Father! Is it really so incomprehensible to you... 518 00:36:23,982 --> 00:36:26,417 that I can't kill anything? 519 00:36:27,485 --> 00:36:29,453 How about an animal? 520 00:36:29,521 --> 00:36:32,684 Come on. M-Maybe a child. 521 00:36:32,757 --> 00:36:35,783 How about any living thing? 522 00:36:38,296 --> 00:36:40,424 You answer me! 523 00:36:41,499 --> 00:36:44,696 It is incomprehensible to me that I have managed to sire... 524 00:36:44,769 --> 00:36:47,739 a muling, sniveling, self-indulgent milksop, 525 00:36:47,806 --> 00:36:52,175 who is unable to grasp the most elementary fact of life: 526 00:36:52,243 --> 00:36:56,373 The whole world is a bloody hunting jungle. 527 00:36:56,448 --> 00:37:00,440 You stalk with the hunter, or you run with the quarry. 528 00:37:00,518 --> 00:37:04,216 You have no other choice. The beasts have no choice. 529 00:37:04,289 --> 00:37:08,055 Only man. That is why he is superior. 530 00:37:08,126 --> 00:37:12,996 Oh, no, no, no, no. Not superior,j-just deadlier. 531 00:37:13,064 --> 00:37:15,624 You take away his gun, and he's a beast. 532 00:37:17,368 --> 00:37:20,827 You are currently in possession of a gun,Archie, 533 00:37:20,905 --> 00:37:25,934 a bolt-action .458, which could make a hole in me the size of two fists. 534 00:37:26,010 --> 00:37:27,944 What are you waiting for? 535 00:37:29,848 --> 00:37:31,974 Nothing. 536 00:37:37,155 --> 00:37:40,181 Send him off to bed,Tom. 537 00:37:40,258 --> 00:37:42,192 Leave the door open and a light in the hall. 538 00:37:42,260 --> 00:37:44,627 I imagine darkness frightens him too. 539 00:37:44,696 --> 00:37:46,630 [Thunderclap] 540 00:37:52,904 --> 00:37:55,430 Archie, listen to me. 541 00:37:55,507 --> 00:37:57,532 You don't have to kill a deer... 542 00:37:57,609 --> 00:38:01,568 or swat a fly or step on an ant if you don't want to. 543 00:38:01,646 --> 00:38:03,580 You don't have to do anything. 544 00:38:03,648 --> 00:38:06,549 All you have to do is sign your name. 545 00:38:06,618 --> 00:38:09,280 Naturally, since we represent your father, we couldn't take the case, 546 00:38:09,354 --> 00:38:14,292 but I'll send you to a first-rate law firm. 547 00:38:14,359 --> 00:38:16,418 By tomorrow lunchtime, 548 00:38:16,494 --> 00:38:19,156 they can get a court order impounding the trust. 549 00:38:19,230 --> 00:38:21,164 Do you think he's different? 550 00:38:23,368 --> 00:38:25,962 Do you think he's a special case? 551 00:38:28,206 --> 00:38:30,140 Mm-mm. 552 00:38:31,342 --> 00:38:33,709 He's 20th-century man. 553 00:38:35,180 --> 00:38:39,809 That's his big passion, to--to commit murder... 554 00:38:39,884 --> 00:38:45,653 [Thunderclap] under the protection of a-- of a state-issued hunting license. 555 00:38:47,458 --> 00:38:51,292 Why, I know he's a whole lot closer to the norm than I'll ever be. 556 00:38:52,897 --> 00:38:54,865 And tomorrow-- 557 00:38:57,035 --> 00:38:59,800 tomorrow... 558 00:38:59,871 --> 00:39:03,863 I will try to shoot a deer. 559 00:39:03,942 --> 00:39:06,102 [Thunderclap] 560 00:39:06,177 --> 00:39:09,078 That's the only choice I've got. 561 00:39:09,147 --> 00:39:11,343 That's the only choice he's given me. 562 00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:18,312 It is not the trust, Mr. Pierce. 563 00:39:18,389 --> 00:39:21,188 It has nothing to do with that. 564 00:39:22,260 --> 00:39:25,355 You know, a moment ago, 565 00:39:25,430 --> 00:39:27,626 I almost killed him. 566 00:39:29,234 --> 00:39:33,169 And I would have, because it was in my heart. 567 00:39:34,372 --> 00:39:36,306 But Tom-- 568 00:39:39,444 --> 00:39:41,378 Well, thank God for Tom. 569 00:39:41,446 --> 00:39:47,385 Anyway, better a-a deer than a--than a patricide. 570 00:39:47,452 --> 00:39:49,942 Wouldn't you say that, Mr. Pierce? 571 00:39:52,590 --> 00:39:55,855 Judging by youre xpression, I guess you wouldn't. 572 00:39:56,861 --> 00:39:59,057 [Sighs] 573 00:39:59,130 --> 00:40:04,899 I'm okay now,Tom. I'm-- I'm okay. Good night. 574 00:40:20,218 --> 00:40:22,209 [Thunderclap] 575 00:40:25,256 --> 00:40:28,624 Had you never met Colonel Dittman before? 576 00:40:28,693 --> 00:40:33,722 No. My father's been his lawyer for years, but I know very little about him. 577 00:40:33,798 --> 00:40:35,732 He has a strange god, Mr. Pierce. 578 00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:40,499 He-- He worships death, and then he nails it to the wall. 579 00:40:40,571 --> 00:40:43,973 And yet you came herewith him and you've stayed. 580 00:40:44,042 --> 00:40:47,977 For the boy. That is why l came. 581 00:40:48,046 --> 00:40:51,139 And that is why l stay. 582 00:40:53,251 --> 00:40:55,845 A legacy of 50 years, Mr. Pierce. 583 00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:59,948 Bullet holes, punctured bodies, chopped-off heads. 584 00:41:00,024 --> 00:41:03,585 A convocation of victims. 585 00:41:04,629 --> 00:41:07,597 And now he wants to add his son. 586 00:41:08,967 --> 00:41:12,403 Another trophy of the kill. 587 00:41:16,641 --> 00:41:18,871 [Thunderclap] 588 00:41:53,711 --> 00:41:57,341 This rain is a gift,Tom. Excellent for tomorrow's hunting. 589 00:41:59,617 --> 00:42:02,177 I am speaking to you. 590 00:42:07,625 --> 00:42:10,526 Why will you make him kill tomorrow? 591 00:42:10,595 --> 00:42:13,189 You have had 21 years without it. Why tomorrow? 592 00:42:13,264 --> 00:42:15,289 It's my last chance. 593 00:42:17,135 --> 00:42:20,730 I want to give him his manhood. Can't you understand that? 594 00:42:20,805 --> 00:42:24,103 That is what you will strip him of if you give him a gun... 595 00:42:26,210 --> 00:42:28,076 and make him use it. 596 00:42:28,146 --> 00:42:31,478 If you had refused to hunt, what would your father have done? 597 00:42:31,549 --> 00:42:34,883 We hunt for food. 598 00:42:34,952 --> 00:42:37,853 We hunt to stay alive. 599 00:42:39,023 --> 00:42:41,890 I was never taught to kill for pleasure. 600 00:42:41,959 --> 00:42:44,519 Theday l can kill without pleasure, 601 00:42:44,595 --> 00:42:47,257 my son can have everything I own. 602 00:42:49,033 --> 00:42:54,028 If you're praying to your gods, pray that the rain quits before dawn. 603 00:42:54,105 --> 00:42:57,733 Then the deer will come out and enjoy the good weather. 604 00:43:08,086 --> 00:43:10,680 That is not what I pray for. 605 00:43:11,756 --> 00:43:13,882 [ Mr. Dittman] Keep your eye on the canyons over there. 606 00:43:13,958 --> 00:43:16,188 The whitetails don't like the wind. 607 00:43:16,260 --> 00:43:18,592 We'll be out of their scent up here. 608 00:43:20,064 --> 00:43:23,227 When you see the deer,Archie, line up the forelegs. 609 00:43:23,301 --> 00:43:26,963 Place your shot so as to kill or anchor him atone. 610 00:43:27,038 --> 00:43:31,532 Line up the upright part of the ""T"with the back crossbar. 611 00:43:33,778 --> 00:43:37,043 Aim to break the shoulder just above the middle of the body. 612 00:43:40,485 --> 00:43:42,544 That way you'll bring him down quick. 613 00:43:45,123 --> 00:43:48,559 If you aim high, you'll break his back. 614 00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:58,865 A low shot can hit his heart. But if you're high and in front, you get the neck. 615 00:43:58,936 --> 00:44:03,533 So make a clean kill,Archie. 616 00:44:03,608 --> 00:44:05,906 Look. He's yours. 617 00:44:08,079 --> 00:44:11,879 Take it slowly Aim carefully 618 00:44:11,949 --> 00:44:15,283 Just squeeze it off 619 00:44:15,353 --> 00:44:17,479 Squeeze it,Archie. 620 00:44:17,555 --> 00:44:19,853 Squeeze it. 621 00:44:19,924 --> 00:44:22,518 Remember,just above the middle of the body. 622 00:44:22,593 --> 00:44:25,062 How you lined it up. 623 00:44:25,129 --> 00:44:27,598 What are you waiting for? 624 00:44:27,665 --> 00:44:31,568 He's not going to stay there all day, damn it. Take your shot! 625 00:44:32,637 --> 00:44:36,333 Take your shot, damn it. Take your shot.! 626 00:44:36,407 --> 00:44:38,876 [Gunshot] 627 00:44:40,478 --> 00:44:43,207 I told you a clean kill. 628 00:44:43,281 --> 00:44:45,340 Now we've got to follow his tracks. 629 00:44:45,416 --> 00:44:47,350 We've got to check the blood marks, 630 00:44:47,418 --> 00:44:49,614 find out where you did hit him. 631 00:45:08,573 --> 00:45:11,133 [Mr Dittman] You want to butcher an animal I could have ordered one. 632 00:45:11,209 --> 00:45:14,770 I could have tied him down and let you get at him with an ax. 633 00:45:14,845 --> 00:45:17,405 It's the same bloody thing: 634 00:45:18,983 --> 00:45:21,145 I could have predicted it. 635 00:45:21,219 --> 00:45:24,949 We tracked for three and a half hours because the great white hunter, 636 00:45:25,022 --> 00:45:27,753 sneaking up the stairs, hit him in the lungs. 637 00:45:27,825 --> 00:45:30,294 But he did get a deer. 638 00:45:30,361 --> 00:45:32,352 In the lungs. 639 00:45:32,430 --> 00:45:35,092 When I saw the blood, I knew we had a long hunt. 640 00:45:35,166 --> 00:45:38,898 He tried. Heaven knows he tried. 641 00:45:38,970 --> 00:45:41,598 That's supposed to make me proud? 642 00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:45,005 You've got nothing to be proud of. 643 00:45:46,277 --> 00:45:48,268 Not a damn thing. 644 00:46:09,233 --> 00:46:11,861 Open a window,will you,Tom? 645 00:46:11,936 --> 00:46:14,132 It's hot in here. 646 00:46:14,205 --> 00:46:17,300 Much too hot. 647 00:46:17,375 --> 00:46:20,138 My head-- 648 00:46:20,211 --> 00:46:22,145 My head is burning up. 649 00:46:27,184 --> 00:46:29,346 Didn't you hear me? 650 00:46:29,420 --> 00:46:31,354 Why do you stand there? 651 00:46:34,792 --> 00:46:38,820 My head. Something's happening. 652 00:46:40,231 --> 00:46:43,893 My dear God, my head. 653 00:46:52,777 --> 00:46:54,711 You're leaving, Mr. Pierce? 654 00:46:54,779 --> 00:46:56,713 Yes. 655 00:46:56,781 --> 00:46:58,873 Look after him,Tom. 656 00:46:58,949 --> 00:47:04,353 He shot himself a deer a few hours ago. 657 00:47:04,422 --> 00:47:08,586 Just remind him that it was a deer and only that. 658 00:47:08,659 --> 00:47:11,492 And make him understand that he wasn't the executioner. 659 00:47:11,562 --> 00:47:14,190 It was his father. 660 00:47:14,265 --> 00:47:19,260 Why, his father has been punished, Mr. Pierce. 661 00:47:19,337 --> 00:47:21,066 Punished? 662 00:47:21,138 --> 00:47:23,869 Properly and befitting the crime. 663 00:47:25,009 --> 00:47:26,943 Where is he? 664 00:47:27,011 --> 00:47:29,706 The colonel? In there. 665 00:47:32,049 --> 00:47:34,677 Best not go in there, Mr. Pierce. 666 00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:40,682 Why not? Sometimes the punishment is as ugly as the crime. 667 00:47:42,993 --> 00:47:46,190 Last night I prayed to my gods, Mr. Pierce. 668 00:47:46,263 --> 00:47:49,927 It was the only thing left to do. 669 00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:52,469 What did you pray for,Tom? 670 00:47:52,536 --> 00:47:57,940 That the hunter should know what it is like to be the victim. 671 00:48:15,192 --> 00:48:19,686 Best go now, Mr. Pierce. Take the boy with you. 672 00:48:19,764 --> 00:48:22,527 How? How could-- 673 00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:25,035 There are gods, Mr. Pierce. 674 00:48:25,102 --> 00:48:29,198 Gods of the bush, of the Congo, of the rain forests. 675 00:48:29,273 --> 00:48:32,174 And with them, vengeance is an art. 676 00:48:39,517 --> 00:48:42,883 Let's go. We're getting out of here. 677 00:48:42,953 --> 00:48:45,479 What about my father? 678 00:48:45,556 --> 00:48:49,652 Don't worry about him. He's in good company. 679 00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:47,114 Now there is a trophy. 680 00:49:53,724 --> 00:49:55,930 The king of the jungle. 681 00:49:58,930 --> 00:50:02,930 Preuzeto sa www.titlovi.com 54949

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