All language subtitles for Level.3.2020.1080p.WEB-DL.DD2.0.H264-CMRG

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I
truly look at it as,

I'm not fucked up, the world is.

People are flawed, people
are incredibly flawed,

and that fucking bothers me.

I hate it, it drives me crazy.

Is that what's drawn you to
wanna psychoanalyze everyone?

Yeah, I wanna
know what their problem is.

The reason I bring
this up is because,

every situation that I'm in,

when I feel like people
are doing the wrong thing,

I feel like it's clear as day

that they're doing
the wrong thing.

Most people are in the dark
about everything, you know?

They're just going,

they're just going by impulse
like, okay, what's today?

- What do I gotta do today-
- Why do you think

people don't think
for themselves,

- if there is a choice?
- 'Cause it's easier.

It's easier, because
it's like you can

- just fucking sit there.
- But, you think that

they realize that, that
they know that it's easier?

No.

What is it, what are you
trying to understand with people?

With women, in particular,
like your patients?

I wanna know
why they do what they do.

I wanna know why they
think how they think.

More of a guide, I'd
rather be a guide like,

hey, listen, if you go down
that road, it's no good,

you have to go this way.

Oh, good, thank you,
I appreciate it.

And then, you go
on their merry way,

and then they're on the
good road, that's all.

You're here early today.

Why so early?

I'm never on time,
so I left early,

and I actually got here
early, I don't know.

You have
nothing better to do?

I had things I
could do, I just...

Well,
there's gotta be a reason

you wanted to be here so
early, is everything all right?

Yeah.

You hesitated.

Is everything really all right?

Can I put my feet up?

Sure.

I just, feel more
comfortable like this.

I don't
even know if me doing this,

is any kind of reflection of me.

I think I'm just doing it,
because people fascinate me.

You're drawn to it.

I wanna help
people with what I've learned.

Yeah.

Are
you happy in your life?

Most of the time.

What do you
want, what are you missing?

If you could have one thing
in your life that's missing,

what would it be?

I want a boyfriend.

You
want a boyfriend?

And so, how come you don't
have a boyfriend already?

I don't know the relationships
I have don't stick.

Why not?

'Cause, I fucking love
assholes and they're all dicks.

Are they dicks?

- No, they're dicks.
- Or, maybe you're

doing something wrong?

Nothing, I'm not doing
anything that wrong.

Why
do you love assholes?

I don't know, they're sexier.

Sexier.

Definitely, your purpose is
to try and help other people,

which is amazing,
like you're a teacher.

That's probably part of
your like, whole fate,

but another, also
could be during this,

there's always gonna
be something that

you're gonna learn for yourself
that's very personal to you,

to your own evolution.

I remember messaging my mom

and she didn't answer
me for three years.

Until I called her one
day and I was like, bitch,

and I hung it up.

I got a phone call
so fast, three years.

I'm taking about birthdays,
I'm talking about everything,

and it took me to say, bitch,
to get my mom to hit me up.

My pops called me like,

oh, you don't have to
call your mom a bitch.

I'm like, hold on, man,
I don't give a fuck,

you had a mom, you don't get it.

I don't, I don't even know
if I should be here, honestly.

That's
what everybody says.

Well, I mean it.

So, the
nice guy that every girl-

- I can't fucking
stand nice guys.

- You don't like nice-
- They're like, you know?

Fucking annoying.

Why is that?

'Cause, they're pussies,

they don't stand
up for themselves.

They just let me
walk all over them.

Right, I agree,

'cause you don't respect
them, that's why.

They don't respect themselves.

They
don't respect themselves.

That's right, and you
can't respect somebody

- who doesn't respect them-
- No.

So, do
you respect yourself?

Yeah.

You sure?

No.

You're a man,

so I don't know if
you're the right person

I should be talking to.

That
sounds a bit sexist, no?

Well,

talking to a man about men,
seems like it wouldn't,

really work out, but
I will give it a try.

You're
here, because of men?

I am here,
because of men, yes.

Why
is it okay for women

to be sexist against men?

Why is okay for women
to label themselves,

as a woman, blah, blah,
blah, and therefore,

I have to think this,
this, this, this, and this,

you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, I'm with
you, I'm with you.

I think, and I get
it, like I say,

I always have to play both
sides, I have to be fair.

If I was a woman, I would say,

all this time they
never got anything fair.

Nothing was ever was ever fair-

- Right,
but is that the case?

Well, maybe these guys,

these assholes guys
who don't respect you,

maybe you're that
nice guy to them.

Aren't I supposed
to figure that out,

without you telling me?

Well, hey,
that's what I'm here for, right?

To help you along.

Do you think or no?

It sounds like
it could be right.

I think that

in order to become
better as a person,

you have to know the truth
about who you are like,

duh, how are you gonna
fucking fix the sink?

If you don't know
what's clogging it,

you know what I'm saying?

You need to know shit.

- I know, I know.
- It's why people,

they don't like that,
they wanna live in denial.

- Yeah.
- They want excuses

for their behavior
instead of being like,

hey, you really
shouldn't be like that.

Right.

Do
you think that maybe

you feel bad about yourself?

So, you like, when
guys treat you badly,

because you agree with them,

that you should
be treated badly?

I could see that
being a thing.

How you doing?

I'm good, how are you?

Good,
are you really good,

or you're just kind of good?

Honestly, I am spectacular.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Why?

I just kind of,
feel like at bliss.

You know, when you kind of like,

feel like you're starting
to be on your path

of finding your,

just finding your path,

you feel like you've finally
found what you wanna do.

I feel like I'm
finally getting there.

So, you
think life sucks then,

you think life is very
difficult and it sucks,

and you were dealt a shitty
hand, and life sucks?

Yeah.

Why is that funny?

Because, it's
funny that you think that.

But, it's my reality.

It's like, everything
around me is like that.

Yeah, but the
reality is that, your world,

is your world to make
what you want of it.

And so, if you're blaming
everything else for,

you having a shitty life,
chances are it's your fault.

I am not married, no.

No?

Divorced.

Divorced,
do you have a boyfriend?

No.

No, when's the
last time you dated someone?

Like, dated or?

Like,
serious relationship.

Oh, it's been a
couple of years.

Really?

Hello?

Oh, okay, so did you
park on the side?

You pulled in the
gate though or no?

Oh, you didn't?

Maybe you need to
hear the truth.

Maybe you haven't heard the
truth for so fucking long,

that to finally hear it
is so shocking to you.

And, you wanna
call me an asshole,

you wanna call everybody
else an asshole,

you wanna call the cop

who pulled you over an
asshole, or whatever.

But, maybe it's
you, maybe it's you.

I'm an asshole?

No, maybe
you're doing the wrong things

that are bringing
assholes to tell you,

the reality of you
doing the wrong things,

and you hate that.

You hate the truth, you hate it.

Oh, okay, so did you
park on the side?

I'm not sure where
Island View is, but.

Do I need sex?

Well, I'm
saying everybody needs sex,

I won't even ask you that, of
course, everybody needs that,

but do you just kind of, hook
up and not have have long-

- If I need to, sure.

So, anyway,
I'm running a little behind

with somebody I'm with now.

So, you're in the right place,
it's really nice around here,

if you wouldn't mind
just killing like,

maybe 15 to 20 minutes?

And then, coming in, and
then I'll buzz you in.

All my life my
focus is on women.

I would create
these pages on POF,

and all these fucking
websites and shit,

'cause I never had a mom,
I never had these things.

I'm like, damn, I don't
know what I'm looking for?

I never went to myself for once.

The minute I realized like,
man, hold the fuck on.

I haven't been doing
shit and nothing changed?

I'm gonna focus on me,
right away,

everything was like
clockwork for myself.

I'm like, hold on,
all my attention,

and I got what I
was looking for.

Awesome,
okay, I'll see you soon.

Okay, bye.

Oh, thank god, I'm so sorry.

Why though, why are you depressed

with me saying this?

Why are you getting
into this whole,

oh, poor me, thing again?

Why not see that
as a good thing?

I just gave you the key
to something important,

maybe you could change your life

by doing something different.

I just gave you that,
you should be happy,

you should be smiling.

Uh, does it like,
it happens overnight?

It could.

People need to
fucking hear shit.

I'm so tired of people being
in denial about who they are,

about what they're doing,
about what their behavior is.

Instead of just waking
up to the fact that,

hey, your life sucks,
because you're in denial.

I'll just transform into
a new person overnight?

You don't
have to be a new person,

you have to be less the
shitty person you've been.

Okay.

Do you think by,

being frustrated with
people that aren't

evolving for themselves,

or wanting to at least
show people the way,

being a shepherd to some degree,

how is that helping you?

How do you see that
benefiting anything at all?

Because, I feel like

my number one

goal in life, is to
matter, I wanna matter.

I want the world to be
different, because of me.

Everyone has needs, of course.

Men have needs, of course,
they're a little bit different.

What happens
when you have sex with a guy,

and then he wants
to see you again?

Well, we talked about it,

and we decided it was
gonna be just the one time.

I don't have sex with
anyone I wanna see again.

I can't, I'm busy.

I have a dinner meeting.

Really?
That's interesting.

I've heard that before, some
people have told me that.

I did not make that up, I do.

Men are that way.

Yeah, but
we don't set out like that.

I did, I told you I did.

It was fun, but that's
where it ends, it was fun.

We just
wanna have sex with-

- I disagree with you there,
I disagree with you there,

- I think men do that.
- But, we wanna

have sex with as many
people as possible,

and then we don't know
if we are, you know,

potentially, romantically
interested until after that.

Women are the opposite,

women wanna feel
romantically involved first,

and then have sex, right?

No.

No,
you don't see that?

It has not been
my experience, no.

Thank you and,

you have a good night.

I want that connection,

but what's beautiful
is living here,

I've seen that I can connect
with other human beings,

and it doesn't always have
to be on a sexual, intent.

But,
for a girl it doesn't,

- for a guy it does.
- Right, and that's what

- pisses me off.
- It's much cooler,

I bet you have a lot
of guy friends, right?

I do, I bro out a
lot, I've had a lot of-

- And, they
wanna hook up with you,

but you don't wanna
hook up with them,

and then it's like
the friend zone,

you've friend-zoned them.

Right, right.

You know what?

It feels better for you,

to feel like everybody else
is wrong and you're right,

of course, right?

It's just easier, 'cause
then you don't gotta do shit.

You don't gotta change nothing,

and you're a great
person in a shitty world.

Aren't you supposed to
be asking me questions?

Not
necessarily, if you want that,

you could go to one of
the regular therapists

that's just like, how is your
childhood, and how is this?

How does that make you feel?

I don't do that shit.

Man, we can blame, we could
start with a thousand excuses,

we could say a thousand things,

but it starts with
yourself and your thinking.

It's hard, and I get it too,

'cause it's hard
to tell somebody,

hey, you need to
start doing this.

When you're 35, you're telling
me this I'm 35-years old,

you're telling me this at 35,

but I've been programmed
for 35 years of my life.

I hear you, but I can't
turn the shit around,

35 years of
programming, you know?

They say, the hardest thing
to do is to unlearn something.

But, guess what?

They don't want,

you can and try and help
someone all you want,

but they're not gonna
wanna help themselves,

until they're ready
to do it, feel me?

What am I supposed to do?

You're
supposed to just listen to me.

I am listening.

But, I feel
like you're not taking it in,

it's not registering.

Is it supposed to
register right now,

like magic?

It
should and it could,

if you'd let it.

What, you gotta go home,
and you go and drink,

and do some coke, and
go fuck some asshole,

and then fall
asleep next to him.

And then, think about it,
and then he kicks you out,

and then at 6 a.m.
you're getting all your clothes together,

and going to your car.

You're like, wait a minute,

maybe I should've
listened to him.

Then, is that when you're
gonna think about it or no?

Is that a pretty
accurate description

of how your nights go or no?

Am I being a dick?

Am I insulting you, am I making
him feel bad about yourself?

Or, am I just being honest?

Do you feel cute being in the
room with six of these guys,

at least seven that
you've seen their dicks?

And,
what do they think of her?

They think she's a slut.

- That's what I'm saying.
- They don't respect her.

- Absolutely.
- Just like the

stripper thing,
you're not empowered.

It's not good for you,
you didn't use them,

they fucking used you.

And, that's all
I wish for in life,

is we all deserve
mutually, respect.

Keep your
fucking morality, good for you.

Thank you.

You're saying that,

if you meet a guy that you
are attracted to enough

to have sex with, you'll
only have sex with him,

if you know that it can't
be a serious relationship.

Yes, I just don't
let that happen.

You're a man, you should
know what that's like.

Well, it's funny, because I
kinda do know what it's like,

and now I'm like, what the fuck?

Why do so many girls
wanna have sex with me?

And then, I'm like, shit,

maybe that's a bad thing
now that you're saying that.

Or, does that affect you,

because I just painted
a picture of like,

at least one day
in your last week.

I just don't wanna feel
judged in this environment.

It's not
about being judged, it's about-

- So, fine, yeah.

If that's what, one of my
days was like this past week.

Fine.

Then so be it, right?

You're a young girl, you
get to do what you want,

you get to live how you want,

you get to fuck
whoever you want,

you can do whatever
you want, right?

And who are you to
judge me, right?

Is that what you're saying?

No, I'm saying that...

it feels like, if I
admit that that is who I am,

in this room, you're gonna
tell me I'm a shitty person.

So now,
that you're saying that,

it's fucking me up,
because then I'm like,

wait a minute, maybe
they're attracted to me to

have sex with, but they're
looking at it like,

I would never be in a longterm
relationship with him.

And, I would assume you
would like that, that's what-

- I do, but
it's still kind of insulting,

if that's where they're coming
from, you know?

Men are that way, men
are that way as well.

It's case-by-case.

Okay.

Maybe
in your experience,

the men you've met are that way.

Sure, I think all men
probably are that way.

You say men, a lot,

and you say all men, a lot,

do you think you're a
little bit sexist or no?

No.

You think can
judge every man as a whole?

I will say, most
then, I will say, most.

So you think
it's the exact same thing,

if a girl has with
lots and lots of guys,

that it is for a guy to
have sex with lots of girls?

You really think that?

You don't think that,

- nobody thinks that.
- Why would I-

- You
just tell yourself that,

to justify your behavior,

so you can feel
better about yourself.

Because, who, okay,
there's a guy and a girl,

let's just say on a date, right?

They never had sex before.

What are the odds
that the guy wants,

they're both
good-looking people.

What are the odds that the guy

wants to have sex with the girl?

Hypothetical.

High odds.

90, 95?

- Yes.
- Okay,

so the guy clearly wants to
have sex with the girl, right?

But, just because he
wants to have sex,

does that mean he's gonna
have sex with the girl or no?

No.

Okay, why not?

Because, he doesn't have to?

No, but he wants to,

but who decides whether
the sex will be had,

between those two
people, who decides?

The girl.

Good.

At the bottom of everything,
is everybody's insecure.

Everybody's not up front,

'cause they're afraid to
show that, especially girls.

Girls don't want to just show
a guy that they like them,

if they're nervous that the
guy doesn't like them back.

Yes.

What if
I was to say, all women,

are a certain way?

You should say,
well, I don't, what do,

I mean, it would depend
on what you were saying,

that all women are or-

- All women
wanna have sex with me.

Okay.

Here's the
thing, I know that it's,

a completely different
experience to be a girl.

I'm very well aware
that as a guy,

I have no idea what it's
like to be in the body

of a fucking girl, well,
not in that way, I guess.

You have your own
experience like that.

Yeah, even if you're
like remotely attractive,

dudes wanna fuck
you all the time.

Yeah, it's really annoying.

Okay, since
the girl decides, right?

Then that means that sex
is, almost exclusively,

always up to the girl
to decide, right?

Is that correct?

Which is good.

Right?

If the girl always decides
whether sex is gonna be had,

and sex is being had
pretty fucking often,

then it's the girl's
decision, is it not?

Guys will fuck anybody, right?

Shouldn't the girl
be more exclusive,

more selective of
who she has sex with?

Yeah.

Right?

I
mean, does it make

logical sense to you or no?

Yeah.

'Cause,
they're so insecure,

they're so nervous about
what would happen if he knew.

And then, oh my god, what
if he doesn't like me?

I'll feel stupid, I'll be
humiliated, and whatever.

That's why you have to,
you look fear in the face,

and you tell it to fuck off.

I mean, 'cause in reality,

fear and doubt is what
holds us back the most.

Until you realize that
and get over that,

then you're gonna go
much farther in life.

The best
gauge of whether you think

that a behavior is okay,

especially when it
comes to females,

is ask yourself, would you be
okay if your mother did it,

your daughter did it,
your sister did it?

If the answer is yes,
then you know what?

- Fine.
- Right, these girls saying,

well, if I'm gonna, use my
body for what it's worth,

no, no, who told you
that, where did you?

I know,

it's an absence of
any moral center.

But, say all women want
a serious relationship,

sometimes they're just
afraid to pursue it.

I would say, you're wrong.

Okay,
and would you say that,

I shouldn't make such a grand
assessment, and say all women?

Or, would you say you feel like-

- It's just ignorant, it's just-

- Shouldn't the
girl hold the higher standard

than a guy?

Why have the same,

why lower your own standards
to the same standards,

as a guy's lower standards?

Guys will fuck anybody,
guys will fuck fat girls,

whatever it may be, why lower
yourself to that standard?

Why not hold a higher standard?

I only have sex
with certain guys.

I only have sex with
guys that love me,

that have a certain quality,
that I've known for more than-

- What kind of
girls get to grow up

and have that point
of view, princesses?

Girls that, from the day
their born have that choice,

because there's lots of people
that are born into this world

where it's not their choice
how their sexual life begins,

and things start happening
without their consent,

and they didn't say it was okay.

No one ever said it was okay

for the little girl to have sex.

So I'm sorry that I've had
sex with so many people now.

But,
why do you feel like

if that happened to you,

that you have to have
sex with other guys?

What it is it about that,

you're trying to
take the power back?

- You're trying to control-
- Yeah, maybe I want

the power back, maybe
that's what it is,

because when the power's taken
from you when you're little,

you have to make
sense of it again.

But, is
that your power ever then?

- No, I don't know.
- If you go and have sex

with a lot of other guys, they
still have power over you,

you're just handing
it to 'em more-

- How come I don't
have power of them?

Because,
they are getting something

out of you, not vice versa.

What if I said, most
women truly want

a serious relationship, truly
wanna have a family one day,

truly feel better
and happier when

they're in a
relationship, and married,

and with somebody
longterm, would you agree?

I would say that,
that might be.

But, not you.

- No.
- Why not you?

I don't have time for that.

How is having sex

with more creepy fucking
weirdos gonna be better?

How is it gonna make
it better for you?

I really wanna know,
I'm really asking,

'cause I really don't know.

I really don't get that, I
don't get that manifestation.

I'm just trying
to love myself more,

which is what I've done.

My New Year's resolution was
to love myself, and that's

- what I've been doing.
- Why do you feel like

you need a resolution
to love yourself more?

You don't love yourself?

I didn't, no, I didn't.

- I was very insecure.
- Before-

- Yeah, probably
like a year ago.

Why are you

not interested in a
serious relationship?

Because,

I have not met one man who,

is worth my time in that way.

Okay,
if you did meet a man

that was worth your time-

- Right.

I just, sometimes am
in a situation where,

I think that a guy
is gonna look at me,

and he's gonna want
to get to know me.

Then, usually they just end
up asking to have sex with me,

and I don't feel
confident enough to say,

no, there is more
to me than that.

I proceed, and I hope
that after I go along

with what they wanted, they'll
go along with what I wanted.

You know, it happens,

they don't go along
with what I wanted.

That's
right, they don't,

I think you're making
a bad decision,

because, can I help you?

Listen, if you meet a guy and
you're into him or whatever,

and he's trying
to have sex quick,

all you have to do is
not have sex quick,

because at the very least,

he still wants to
have sex with you.

He'll put in more time, he'll
see you for the second date,

the third date, the fourth date,

all the while he
learns more about you.

Then when you finally
have sex with him,

then he knows more about you,

and can have more
feelings towards you.

Instead of you just
being some hot girl

that he fucked one night.

It wouldn't be
smarter for a girl

to make the guy wait for sex,

because then you're gonna
get him emotionally attached,

'cause he's been
waiting around so long.

Then, when you finally
have sex with him,

he cares about you emotionally.

You have sex with
him right away,

he don't give a shit about you,

he just thinks you're a slut.

At all, and if you don't
have sex with him too,

and you make him wait
longer and he leaves,

that's good, 'cause it
just shows his true colors.

Okay, I knew it, I was just
testing you motherfucker.

There you go,

and you know that's
all he wanted.

You're making the
wrong decision,

you shouldn't have
sex with him quick.

Didn't your mom ever teach
you this kind of stuff?

This is like 101, you
make the guy wait,

maybe you make out with him
a little, but then that's it.

Maybe the second date you
fool around a little bit,

but that's it, like
you gotta build it up.

How do you not
know these things?

I don't know,
I just didn't know them.

But,
does it make sense to you?

Yeah, it makes a lot of sense.

Sometimes, I feel like,

that's why I feel like the girls

should always make the
first move, to be honest.

That's, see-

- That's how I truly I feel,

because if I want
that to happen,

then I'm gonna grab your hand,

and then you know
you can go farther,

you know what I'm saying?

Most girls
don't roll like that at all.

I know.

Are
you hopeless though,

do you think you'll never
find a guy that will fit?

I don't care.

- You don't care?
- No.

You'll just go through

the rest of your life,

and never be in a serious
relationship again,

and you're totally
okay with that?

Fine.

Traditionally, look at the 50s.

Love 'em.

Guys and
girls would go to get a soda

at the fucking diner,

and then they'd need a
chaperone if it was past 8 p.m.

All those traditional values
from like the 50s and shit,

where it's like, maybe you
hold a hand on the first date,

and then you kiss a little
bit on the second date.

We should go back to that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know,
yeah, 'cause today's shit, yeah.

This might be
the answer we're looking for,

you know why?

'Cause they understood
basic human nature,

that males and females
are gonna be doing stuff

if they're left alone for
too long, if whatever.

And, the guy's gonna
be trying to do stuff,

and the girl should,
no proper girl,

no, you can't hold my hand yet,

we haven't even known each other

- for more than a week.
- I love it.

Yeah,
today's it all a mess,

and no coincidence that
everybody's so sexually open,

and blah, blah, blah.

But, at the same time,
divorces are through the roof,

people that are fucking
married are at their lowest

in the history of
the fucking country.

STDs are up, women
not being happy

and being old cat ladies who
can't even find a fucking-

- Yeah.

Dudes
being fucking beta males,

kissing girls asses,

'cause they don't know how
to fucking act around women,

all these problems
are fucking coming.

All that sexual revolution
shit, it's not working,

- it's not fucking working.
- Yeah, it's not.

Kissing the
hand, the forehead.

- Holding hands.
- Opening your door,

opening your chair
when you sit down,

it's all the old,
things that are just,

I feel like, meant to be,

and now today they
just rap about bitches.

Again,
that's why you're here,

so that I can try to
figure out what's going on.

'Cause you know,

a lot of times the person

who knows the least about
a person, is themselves.

Victoria, off
the phone please.

Victoria, I am looking for
the Jeffrey Bolton deposition,

it was supposed to be
on my desk at 7:00.

I can't seem to find it
anywhere, it wasn't on my desk.

I filed that.

You think you
know more already?

I
don't think that,

but I think it's possible.

Okay.

Did you put in Room A or
did you put it in Room B,

do you remember?

Room B.

That's why
I'm in this business, right?

I'm able to pick up on cues,
I'm able to pick up on,

things you might say or
ways you might come across,

that you're not
necessarily aware of.

All of the depositions, I've
told you this so many times,

they go into Room A,
in alphabetical order.

I need that deposition
and I need you to find it.

Can we clean up in here?

I'm so sick of it looking
like a bomb went off,

every time I enter this room.

I'm here to give it a shot, yes.

Okay, but you know,

I would ask that you don't
have you defenses up.

You know, Victoria,

we had the wrong date on
the Thompson case file.

Your notes were
completely sloppy,

I gave you this job,

because you said that
you were hardworking,

you said that you
were detail-oriented,

and are neither of those things!

- Well, I am here.
- In the end,

I'm on your side.

- Are you, okay?
- Yeah, totally.

Yeah, you're here
to help, right?

You help people.

That's
my whole life goal.

I need someone who
can get things right,

do you understand if you can't,

you won't be here much longer.

Samantha, woo?

Can I ask you a question?

Have you ever worked
in an office before?

You
gotta realize that

I'm telling you things
that are gonna help you.

Yeah, no, I think
that a lot of stuff

has been really helpful.

Because, you're feeling like
you're trying to help women,

by waking them up,

but you're scared that
you're gonna maybe,

shake up someone's who not
ready to face their shit.

You
know what's progress?

That you haven't been drinking.

You know what's progress?

That you look so much better,
that you look brighter,

that your pretty face
is coming through again,

as opposed to all that
heavy, dark makeup

that you always used to
wear, that's progress.

I am here to give it a try,
to see if that is the case.

Why though,
why did you make that step,

to finally do that?

Because, I've not had a
decent night's sleep in,

in years, I can't,

I think maybe the last time
I had a good night's sleep

was maybe five, six years ago.

Really?

We've been coming in late,
we've been leaving early,

and that's absolutely
unacceptable.

Henry, I know you're new,

but you lost a
client last month?

Because, of something
that happened to me and,

sleep is kind of, a trigger for
all those things to come up,

and I am unable to have
a good night's sleep.

Well, let's hold off

a little bit on what happened.

Listen, I apologize,

my wife had our first
kid, last month.

Excuses, excuses, Henry.

You told me that your
wife was pregnant,

and you said that it would
not affect your work here,

- and it is.
- In Henry's defense,

- that guy is not the-
- Roger, Roger, you can

leave the meeting now, okay?

Out, anyone else
wanna interrupt?

Not only do you want

a better night's sleep,

but you'd like to be
happier in general, no?

Well, of course, I would
like to be happier, yes.

Victoria, you're always late,

we can discuss
that further later.

The progress is that

you are actually
saying, oh, yeah,

because this, I thought this.

That's you thinking for
yourself, that's progress.

That's progress, not,

I joined some group that tells
me what to fucking think,

that's not progress.

No, you're right.

Are you not happy?

Well, I am,

I am,

I'm not entirely happy.

You've let this company
down, you've let me down,

you've let all of us down.

This meeting is over,
get out, get out!

Can you imagine the world,

if every single human being was,

in their self power, of
expression of exactly what they-

- That's
how the world should be.

I understand that you're trying,

but at the same time it's like,

you gotta keep in mind,

there's such a big
picture to things.

You have to stop seeing
things small picture

through your own eyes, and see
things through a grander view

of what the big picture is.

That's a lot to take in.

Are you
able to put your finger on

why you're not happy?

I'm not, I don't
know, I'm not, I don't,

- I'm not able to.
- Is that also

why you're here?

To try to figure that out?

I don't need to know that.

When you reach
a true level of happiness,

me telling you anything,
would never bring you down,

no matter what it is.

Not one thing, and not
because you don't believe me,

but because you know and
you're aware of things.

What anybody else says,
what anybody else does,

is not gonna affect you
badly, no matter what it is.

Could be the worst thing ever
somebody could say to you.

Okay, yeah,

that's when I'll
know that I'm, good?

And then,
you can stop coming to me.

Are you looking forward
to that?

Will you be offended?

Nope.

What would you say
if I told you that,

my goal is to make you happy?

I would say that is
reaching very high.

I don't wanna feel
shitty all the time.

Then you shouldn't.

I haven't been feeling
as shitty lately.

And, why?

Just think, the
stuff we talk about,

it's really hard for me
to listen to, you know?

'Cause, you are really
brutally honest,

but I feel like, 'cause I write
everything down afterwards,

and I try to
honestly take it in.

I think it's helping me be
more honest with myself.

You
do seem very guarded.

Okay, well,

I don't really know you.

It just seems really,

unbelievable that I could
feel good, like really good,

without other people
looking at me,

and telling me that I'm good.

- Why do you care about it?
- I care about it,

because, first of all,
I care about everybody,

I care about you.

I don't have to know people
well to care about them.

I had to go home,
and change and-

- No one wonder our
productivity is down,

this isn't a social circle,

this isn't how we
do things here.

- Samantha, I was just-
- Roger, Roger, you came

over here just to
talk to the ladies?

This is a
place where you can literally

feel like you can just say
anything and everything.

Well, I don't really know you

- very well, yet.
- We have to get

- to know each other first?
- Well, I mean, it's just,

- give me a minute.
- Well...

- We were just talking about-
- You know, sexual harassment

is a very, very serious
issue in the workplace.

You saw the sexual
harassment video,

and you signed off on it
saying, that you wouldn't do it.

Yet, here you are
flirting as usual.

- Samantha, he wasn't-
- Now, I've seen it

more than once, okay?

I don't
think that you should

dwell on the things
you didn't have.

And, to make yourself
a victim by saying,

if only I had this,

and if only this person
didn't do this to me,

and if only I had more of this,

those things keep you down
more than anything else.

We're just having a
conversation, we're sorry

- if it bothered you.
- Talking about our weekend.

No, I'm sorry I
don't accept that.

I don't accept that, not
here, not in the workplace.

I'm not gonna let
you do this to women.

Just tell you
everything I'm feeling?

No, but
I can tell there's things

you don't wanna tell me.

I don't know if it's that

you're not being
honest with yourself,

or if it's like, you just
don't wanna be honest with me.

I've got my eye on you.

Okay, you know, we just
need to get past this,

and just get back to work.

Yeah, you do need
to get back to work.

I think that's a great idea.

Okay.

You know, you guys
really should care too.

It's not okay for him to come
over here, and talk to you,

and stare at you like that.

Oh, he wasn't staring,
he was just talking.

He's never
disrespected me, ever.

I've seen it more than once,

and the men, they're
all the same.

They seem so harmless.

People get too much authority,

and then just like, think
that they're the top.

When it's like reality,
we're all fucking equal.

They said I'm,

little miss perfect, and
I'm daddy's favorite.

You didn't
think that was accurate?

Not at all, I was like,

'cause my dad was a fucking
asshole, he was mean.

I'm leaning towards,

you don't wanna be
honest with yourself.

What do you, I mean,
I'll tell you,

I mean, I'll tell you what you-

- Why don't you
want to be in a relationship?

Wanna know.

I already answered
that question.

See,
you're guarded again.

Do you think that you
were attracted to the guy

that you dated, who
was kind of abusive?

- Yeah, he-
- 'Cause he reminded you

- of your dad.
- Yes.

You don't feel like

you ever got your
dad's approval then?

I don't have my
dad's approval, no, no.

I will never get it.

- I told you, I don't-
- Because, no men

meet your standard,

but what I wanted to know was,

that if there was
somebody who did,

would you be willing to do it?

I don't even believe in porn,
I think it's bad for society.

I like, I love that about you.

- That's so refreshing.
- I think it's ridiculous.

Is that something
you think you'd want?

Well, I suppose it would
depend on the person.

I just, I guess I don't
see that happening,

but I suppose maybe if,

I mean, it'd be hard to imagine

that there's anyone out there.

You're so negative.

How good of you to show up,

you know you're
almost an hour late?

This isn't even, okay,
why... this first.

What, what are you wearing?

That is absolutely unacceptable.

I can almost see
your everything,

pull down and pull
up, you know what?

Here, cover it, cover yourself.

Do you see it as negativity?

Yeah, of course,

you saying that you probably
never will be somebody

you wanna be in a
relationship with,

is totally fucking negative.

We're gonna pause real quick.

Make sure you are aware
of what's driving you.

- Right.
- See, that's my whole thing.

Right, right.

Dude, our entire society,

is based on somebody
else's ideas.

- That's what I'm saying.
- Everything we do,

everything, our clothes,
our outlook, our life goals,

the way we spend our life,
the jobs we choose, college.

And said, here,
this is what it is,

because I've learned this
and this is the truth.

We're telling you
this now, but what if,

what if that
information is not true?

But, in the end, your core
self is built on how you feel,

and think about yourself.

If you think
negatively of yourself,

there's nobody that
could fucking help you.

You have to fix that.

Everything is because of what
somebody else came up with.

Just for a minute, can't
we at least entertain,

maybe those ideas are wrong.

An intelligent thing,

not just a vast
universe of randomness,

consciously created this
world to be what it is,

and that's why everything
makes so much sense.

You came here
early today, again,

because what, you're bored?

- I don't-
- You like coming here.

You come here, you give me
shit, and you argue with me,

but then you show up like
an hour early the next time.

What does that tell you?

Well, maybe you don't have
enough patients on your books,

and I'm just taking
advantage of it.

Well, no, I don't,

because I try to focus on

a smaller amount of
people at a time,

and that's good for you.

Yeah, no, I, you know,

I'll admit some of the
conversations we have,

- have been very inspiring.
- Cool, that's good to know.

Yeah, I like how I sound when
I talk to you too, you know?

When I talk to my friends,

I just don't get
to the places that,

that I get to with
you, with them.

If I get too upset, it's hard
for me to mean what I say,

because I can't even
address the issue, yet.

- I work my way into it.
- You're so emotional.

- I am really emotional.
- You actually seem like

there's a flood of emotion
coming through your face,

all day, you don't ever
seem like, just blank.

You always seem very emotional.

I would never
wanna seem blank.

I
know, that's great.

I'm not saying it's bad,
but I'm just saying like,

wow, you have a ton of emotion.

I could see that when you're in,

whatever relationship fights,
or conflicts, or whatever,

that you probably really break
down and get really upset.

You don't have moments of
weakness where you're like-

- Of course, we have 20,000
thoughts a day, of course.

Did you know that?

Yeah.

I
thought it was just me.

No, and we only utilize
this half of our brain,

so why not reach
that other point?

I need to forgive the
younger me that's hurt.

Even though, I'm
hurting as I'm older,

but it's more of the younger
to me that's more hurt,

that I have to let go
of, that's more scarred,

'cause that was the
hardest part of my life.

Here, it's like,

you're bringing it out
in me more and more,

and I like that, and I'm thriving in
it, and I wanna apply

- it to my life more.
- What happens now,

when you go and talk
to other people,

your friends and
stuff like that,

who are not necessarily there?

Do you try to get
them there, in turn?

Dude, I'm scared, you know?

I wanna keep them as friends.

I try to find clever ways
to implement whatever it is

I think I'm learning
here, you know?

But, do
you think that they'll have

a harsh reaction to it?

If I were to just
straight forward be like,

saying some of the concepts
we talk about here,

just right in,
no, it's not a good approach.

They would be like, fuck you,
you're talking to some sadist,

who has these extreme
ideas, da, da, da, da.

But, I know that like, you
don't have extreme ideas,

you're just pushing me
to think a certain way.

Yeah, I mean,
I'm a normal person, right?

- Yeah, it's hard for me to-
- Do you think I come across

crazy with things
that I say and do?

I think some of the
things you say on purpose,

to push me to think
a certain way,

but I don't think
that you sound crazy.

I might be naive,
maybe you are crazy.

I think that
I come across so non-crazy,

that I can get people to
open their minds to things

that they never would have,
if somebody else said it.

I agree with that, and I'm
trying to replicate that.

- That's awesome.
- It's like, one of the

best things I've
ever seen you do.

That's really cool.

That's really cool.

That's great feedback.

On human nature,

let's go to the girl's side.

Now, my premise on the
girl's side is following.

Okay.

Girls, yes,
can be attracted to a guy

physically just based on
looks or whatever, fine.

But, I submit that that is
an exception to the rule,

and that there's actually
a very low percentage of

people/situations
that that happens in.

I think that a girl needs,

yes, needs a guy
to be good looking,

but needs other things.

Needs a deeper connection,
needs intelligence,

needs a sense of
humor, need confidence.

The guy's gotta have all
these things going for him,

or at least some of
these things, whatever,

- something to find attractive.
- But, vice versa.

Vice versa, know
that it's not just,

he's gotta have this,
this, this, this, and this.

I have to be carrying
all these, this, this,

this things too, you know?

Coming from a person
who has explored,

trying to be equal to men in
sexual aggression or whatever,

needing to have sex a lot.

Realizing that it
made me feel shitty,

and it made me feel worthless,

and that it just
really wasn't something

I was capable of,
as hard as I tried

to feel like I
could be that way.

It was so against my nature,

but I was supported in my
society, being told that,

no, it's cool, be
the same as a man.

You can behave the same
as him, and feel the same,

and it's fine, that's
how it should be.

But, really by pushing
women to try to be that way,

you are breaking them down,

because it is just
against their nature.

It's not in their
best interests,

and we're not capable
of it, we are just not.

I've witnessed, trying to
inspire my friends to be kind of,

slutty, how uncomfortable
they become,

and how unsure, and how unaware,

and how vulnerable,
and broken they become.

There I was thinking
I was helping them,

but I was hurting them,

because I thought that I had
figured out a way to have like,

the same armor as men have
naturally, where we don't.

What you're saying is,

instead of giving women no
responsibility for their actions,

and saying, go fuck around.

You can take a Plan B pill,
you can erase the baby.

You're not responsible
for your bad decision.

You can just abort it.

Instead of that,
reminding them of,

how sacred it is that
we get to have a baby,

and that we are the
ones that create it,

and we control the sperm,
being inside of us.

If we actually go
back and think about,

who are we gonna
let into our body?

It's not that we
need to be prudes,

and never let anyone
have sex with us,

but take the subject
more seriously.

Then, we can empower each other,

by knowing we are the
biggest part of the puzzle.

We are the most important
part of this equation,

and we should not treat
ourselves like worthless,

replaceable, trash
bins for semen.

'Cause, if we're just the
sock that they come into,

whenever they feel like it,

then we're just a
dirty fucking sock

that gets washed up,
and then renewed,

but we're never the same.

I think I understand that,

and personally, I found
a place in my life where,

I was disgusted with myself.

Trying to have sex with people,

that I didn't wanna
have sex with.

I did put a halt to it,

and it became really confusing

for relationships I was having.

People were saying, why
wouldn't you have sex with me?

I'm like, 'cause I'm
not sure if I want to.

And then, they didn't
wanna hang out anymore,

and then I got to see
what the relationship was.

Then, the moment I did decide to

actually have sex with someone,

because felt like it was right.

Now, I'm in the most amazing
relationship I've ever had.

Sex is different, it's never
been the way that it is, now.

- Good for you.
- I think I understand.

Good for you.

Why are you here?

I'm, you know,

I think I'm having
a breakthrough.

You make me have
breakthroughs, you know?

Really.

- Yeah, the stuff you say, it's getting in there.
- That's good.

I would say, in general,

I wouldn't let LA
adapt you too much.

- No, right.
- You know what I'm saying?

No, totally, it's just
definitely opened my eyes

to the things that I wouldn't
really be open to before.

Okay.

But, I'm not like,

I'm still gonna keep my,

views pretty strict, in a sense,

but I guess, open up
some doors to be like,

oh, okay, okay, you know?

For instance, I said like,

I don't wanna go to Hollywood
or the Hills parties,

and I think they're crazy,

and they're filled
with a bunch of like,

crazy people and drugs,
things of that nature.

It was like, that's all
I've been doing all summer.

Yeah,
but what if I just said,

you can't come to me
anymore, that's it,

this is the last time?

- Tonight is the last time.
- Then shit gets real.

I think we all have
that thought like,

damn, bet you'd be nice in
bed, you know I'm saying?

We all have that thought.

Do
you have that thought?

Okay, you can't tell me
guys don't think that too.

They're going to be like,
damn, you know what I'm saying?

Let
me tell you what,

with every single girl
who's above a seven, yes.

All day, every day, absolutely.

Yeah, I might glance and
I'm like, they're cute,

but I don't wanna pursue it
and that's the difference.

It's like, thoughts
can be thought all day,

but it's your actions.

You think I'm in the place
where I don't need you anymore?

I
don't know, you tell me.

The reverse psychology thing.

- A fucked up guy-
- Yeah, I heard

he wasn't shit.

Yeah, but, man, like I said,

when you have a crazy guy,

the woman has to be somewhat
crazy as well, you know?

Especially, if you stick
around for as long as you do,

and have a kid with somebody,
you know if somebody's crazy.

My mom was crazy, so I had to
be real with myself initially.

Well, I mean,

they have to be crazy
or very insecure,

- attached to the relationship.
- That part, that part.

You
know what I'm saying?

Because, especially a
lot of women are like,

battered women say, they're
not necessarily crazy,

but they're like, kind
of just, you know,

stuck to the relationship,

because maybe they feel like
they can't do any better.

Or, they're afraid to
leave, or whatever,

you know what I mean?

Yeah, you're right,
no, you're right.

You saying it right now,
I never thought of that.

But, I'm
just saying, in general,

I think that where
women go wrong is,

that they don't have a good
finger on what they want.

I agree with that.

You know?

I mean, some women do,
but a lot of us don't.

- Yeah, of course.
- Yeah.

It's funny, because I
look at it like this, right?

I watched this
video it's called,

this dude's talking
about fish love.

I think about that in my
relationships and shit,

and when you buy, when
you love someone, right?

A guy goes fishing, right?

Catches a fish, cooks
the fish, eat it,

man, he said, oh my god,
I fucking love fish.

Then God's like,
oh, you love fish?

Yeah, I love fish.

He says, so you love
fish, you kill it,

you cook it, and you eat it,
so you love the fish, right?

He said, yeah.

He said, do you love the fish

or do you love what
it does for you?

A lot of time it's just fish
love we have for people.

Do I love this woman,
because of what I see in her,

and what she does
to make me happy?

Not what I see in her truly.

I remember when
we spoke earlier,

and about being
selfish and shit,

well, at the end of day,

we're all doing for
us in something.

Everything we do is for us.

That's when
you know in a relationship,

if somebody really
cares about you,

they don't care about what
you're doing for them,

they care about you,

and what makes you
happy, your wellbeing.

That's the girl I have now.

It's like that, but it's
hard for me to give back,

when I ain't got shit to give,
because I don't know how to.

It's human nature.

I'm not gonna, bash
on like, there's no,

you can't help that, you
know what I'm saying?

You
don't blame men for having

sexual desires towards women
based strictly on looks?

No, just don't act on it.

Okay, good.

I mean, it's one
of those things,

it's not gonna go
away, that's just how,

it's the way you think.

It's the way you
think, so it's like,

I could get pissed about
it all fucking day,

but it's like, that's
how your brain works.

We have a partial of it that
works that way sometimes,

but majority of it is like,
we want more than that.

You don't
seem like that kind of dude.

About not having shit to give?

You seem
like a very compassionate

- and loving person.
- I am.

Actually,
to tell you the truth,

I'm surprised when
you tell me that,

you didn't have a
mom in your life,

because you seem like
the type of person

who most definitely would.

Yeah.

You
don't seem like a cold,

all-business type of dude.

You seem like a very
compassionate dude.

I don't think I even
believe that that's true.

Maybe you think
that about yourself,

but I don't think
that's the reality.

Yes, I am having issues
sleeping, lots of anxiety.

Anxiety about what?

About my own experiences,

and I need to wipe the
slate clean so I can...

You're
having general anxiety,

- or is there specific-
- I'm having anxiety, yeah,

and I need to find
a way to combat,

if you can help me find
a way to combat anxiety,

maybe some tools that I can
take home, so that I can sleep.

...a
very warm, compassionate,

loving dude, I can tell.

I've met some cold, horrible
fucking people, dude, trust me.

I have met some horrible,
cold, fucking sociopath,

fucking horrible people,

and you don't fall
into that category.

- I appreciate it.
- I think you should

keep in mind that, you
do have that to offer,

you're probably just
not aware of it.

You probably think that,

because you've had that
situation with your mom,

that maybe you're
not capable of it.

Well, I would need to know
what the problem is first,

and so would you.

Okay.

Maybe we
should try to figure that out?

Okay.

You
know what we need to do,

- in order to do that?
- What's that?

You have to be open.

I am open, I am here.

Just
because you're here,

doesn't mean you're open.

You have to be open
to discussing things

that might make you
uncomfortable to talk about,

or even think about.

Okay.

So you're
down, that sounds good to you?

You sure?

I said yes.

For me, it's not,

I just don't like where it's at.

I just don't like how it goes.

I don't like that you-

- I feel like you don't
trust me, and that sucks.

In what way?

You don't give me the
benefit of the doubt.

You're so
hostile, why are you hostile?

I don't think that
that is accurate.

I've been bending over
backwards for you.

Do you understand that?

Your case is a very,
very difficult case,

and you don't look very good.

No, you
don't think you're hostile?

- No, I don't.
- You're a little defensive.

Why are you calling
me, why are you saying?

See, look,

you're defensive and
hostile right now.

What is the point
in telling me that?

So that you
know, so you stop doing it.

My job is to get
the truth across.

My job is to make
sure that you...

Excuse me?

Mr. Bolton, you can not
speak to me that way,

I will not allow it.

Okay, why don't
you give me tools,

- so that I can-
- I'm trying to

give you tools, by
you giving me tools.

Don't you dare
talk to me that way.

I have bent over
backwards for this case,

and you clearly are not

appreciating anything
that I've done.

That is absolutely not true.

I have a huge stake
in this company.

Our reputation is golden,

which is more than
I can say for yours.

I need to
know what the problem is.

You don't look very good,

and there are a lot of
people who don't like you.

Don't like me?

I told you what my problem was-

- No, you didn't.

- You said, you told me-
- I have some issues in my

past that I need
to work through,

and do you need
to know my issues?

No, you said, no, in the
beginning of this conversation,

you said, let's not go there.

I said,
let's not go there yet.

If you feel that way,
then you can go elsewhere.

When you say confident people,

'cause I see a lot of what
appears to be confident,

but then when you
really break it down,

it's a bit of a mask.

I feel like a lot of
people are wearing masks.

- Almost all of the time.
- What is confident?

What do you define
confidence as?

I
define confident as,

you don't need to
wear a fucking mask.

Is that, you can be yourself
all the fucking time,

and be completely fine with it.

You don't need to bring
other people down,

and try to insult somebody
else or hurt somebody else,

to feel good about yourself,
'cause you don't need that.

- That's the real confidence.
- You feel like that means

someone that knows themselves?

- Would you say?
- Yeah, you have to

know yourself to
be able to do that.

You're not telling me
what the problem is,

you're telling me how the
problem is manifesting.

You saying that you can't sleep,

I'm not gonna just give
you Ambien, and be like,

go ahead, get a
good night's sleep.

We have to find out

- why you're here.
- I already have Ambien.

Your problem
is not that you can't sleep,

the problem is what's causing
you to not be able to sleep.

Yes, I would like
to have some tools.

Right, and you're right,

like they say, hurt
people hurt people.

I think a lot of the time when
I spoke, I quote, unquote,

I was shopping hungry.

Like they say, don't
ever shop hungry,

'cause you'll buy the shit
that you'll eat right now,

and you won't think longevity.

I'm in a state of anger, so
when I'm happy of course,

it's like people say,
oh, I wanna kill myself.

Of course you wanna kill
yourself in your lower state,

feel the greatest you?

You won't ever think
about killing yourself,

it's just, it's in
the mode, right?

You're right, I'm hurt
like a motherfucker.

'Cause, I think we have
moments where you like,

really believe in
me, and you're like,

she's fucking awesome.

And then, you're
like, more time-

- 'Cause
you keep slipping.

You keep going off, you
don't stay consistent.

Actually, that's funny
that you say that,

because you're right.

Because, I actually,
consciously had the thought,

yesterday or whatever it was,
that you're not consistent.

That's why I said to you
on the phone the other day,

I'm like, did I lose you,
are you still with me?

Right, okay, but this
is what's so weird.

For me, I'm all in.

From my end,

I don't know if we're
quite there yet.

I mean, I still got some
wrinkles I'm straightening out.

Just some?

I mean, okay, the
paper's crumbled, okay?

But, it's like, pull it
out, iron it a little bit.

Oh,
isn't that a saying?

That once the paper
is crumpled up,

it can't be perfect again?

You felt powerless
with your mom,

because you couldn't
control that.

You couldn't get
her to come back,

you couldn't get her to love
you, and take care of you,

and all this kind of stuff.

You couldn't get her to
do this, you had no power.

What we need in the world,
is women to be strong,

because the man always
looks up to the woman.

As a kid, the kid, boy,

is always gonna look up to
the woman as the role model.

Therefore, a man actually needs
a woman to show him the way.

I hate hypocrites.

I hate people that project
an illusion of their persona,

and then fucking go back on
it, because it's bullshit.

'Cause they're fucking liars.

They stand there and they
say, that they love this,

and they appreciate this,
and this is so fucking great.

And then, they
turn to your face.

and they abandoned every
fucking thing they just said.

And I like you,

but you're a fucking
pain in the ass, dude.

- No.
- You are, you fucking are.

I think that, I think,
no, honestly, look,

I listen to everything that
you say, and I take it in.

Well, you
haven't seen me in a long time,

and I think maybe you
need to see me more often.

- I knew you thought that.
- 'Cause, you fucking lost

your shit, you did.

You need somebody in your life

who's gonna straighten you out,

because I know that you
have, the situation where you

didn't really have a
father figure in your life.

- I know that you either-
- You know too much.

I don't give a fuck about
the little person I created.

She can go off,

and do whatever the fuck
she wants with her life,

and I don't care.

I think you
need to figure out what to do,

and what is important
and what's not.

Find the things that aren't,

and put those things
on the back burner.

- I do not disagree.
- You need to like,

consciously figure out,

this is what I need
to spend time on.

This is what I need to focus on,

and this is what is
gonna waste my time.

Take responsibility for
your fucking having a kid.

You have three.

Why
do you have anxiety?

What are you worried about?

Are you asking me what
happened or, I don't understand.

Well,
however you wanna answer me.

Why do you have anxiety?

What are you sad about,
what are you worried about,

what's the problem?

I,

have had issues

and situations in the past

that have led me to
not be able to sleep.

It is a trigger.

Do you
wanna tell me what those are?

I take you very seriously.

And even if there's time in
between us seeing each other,

I think of like, what
you've said to me or-

- I get
disappointed, I'm like,

dude, I thought I had a
positive influence on this girl.

- I do.
- I try to be

- so reflective, too.
- Isn't it weird?

- Yes, that's sad.
- We have a

very strange relationship,

- because I feel like-
- I wanna talk.

As
part of this thing,

I'm trying to be a
positive influence

on you in many ways, right?

But, sometimes I'm
like, dude, and then,

I'm like, oh, that's awesome.

And then, something
happens, and then I'm like,

oh, that sucks.

- I'm disappointed-
- But, isn't there any

side of that that can
be your responsibility,

of the fact that you
keep doubting me,

and I'm not actually changing.

I can tell you what's, I
can tell you what's going on.

Are you comfortable?

I'm uncomfortable,
I've never been

in this scenario before,

but if that's what
needs to happen

in order for you to help
me, then I will do it.

Well,
we have to start with

you being comfortable.

We don't want you to feel like

you're doing something
you don't wanna do.

Okay, well, I
don't, this is new,

and I was told that
you could help me.

And so far, you're
not helping me,

you're calling me hostile,
and you're calling-

- All right, relax.
- Calling me defensive.

Relax,
relax, let me talk.

You don't mind me saying to you,

dude, you're fucked up,

because this blah,
blah, blah, right?

Or, do you?

You said, that I fucked
up or that I am fucked up?

Both,
neither, whatever.

I mean, I don't love
that you're saying that.

I'm not saying

you're fucked up as a
person, I'm saying like,

- whatever I'm saying.
- No, I see truth

in what you're saying,

'cause I'm frustrated with
my lifestyle right now.

- I have-
- Yeah, you seem like a mess,

you seem like you're
all over the place.

Obviously, you haven't been
to a psychologist before,

but the groundwork is, I
need to know about you.

I need to know what you think.

I need to know how you feel.

I need to know what your
experiences were, good and bad,

and I need to know what
you think the problem is.

So yes, you're being
defensive and hostile,

when I ask you these questions.

I think maybe, that's
where I'm going wrong.

I'm not explaining to
you what the process is.

Now, that I've explained
to you what the process is,

I need you to open up
to me a little bit,

and answer some questions
that I have about you.

Okay.

No, but you're so direct.

That, you're asking
me, is it okay?

I'm like, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So
you're okay with that?

But, you're okay with
that on every level,

or you're okay with that,

with just setting
appointments and shit?

What other levels are there?

Level 3.

- Ha, ha. That's clever.
- The whole thing,

the everything, the
everything that you are.

The first question I have is,

why do you think that
you have anxiety?

I have anxiety,

because of,

something that happened

several years ago.

I know,
but I'm saying, in general,

you're very defensive.

Is it the weird
fucking thing, okay,

so when I called you
up and told you that,

what was your reaction to that?

My feelings were hurt.

Why?

You said you were
disappointed in me.

What happened?

I was,

I was,

I was drugged and raped.

Really?

What ended up happening,
did you go to the police,

- or did anything happen?
- I did not.

- You didn't?
- No.

Why not?

Conflict of interest.

How?

He was a friend of
my boss at the time.

Now, when
you do or say something,

that I feel like is off the path

of where I'm trying
to help you go,

it really bothers me.

It really, that's what I'm
saying, it bothers me too much.

I shouldn't be, or maybe I
shouldn't be that bothered,

and then what's the
solution to that?

What do I do about that, what
do I do with that, you know?

What do I fucking do about that?

I don't know, well, you
talked to me about it.

I don't know if that
made you feel better,

but what did I do?

How did I piss you off?

You see
him again after that?

I have seen him, twice.

How did that go?

I did not talk to him.

Did
he try to talk to you?

No.

I wish you
would just fucking listen to me.

I do listen to you.

You kind of don't.

I don't
view it that way.

Was it like
you were already kind of,

romantically involved a
little bit or was it just-

- No, no, I was
not, no, I wasn't.

You
weren't even interested-

- No, I was not, no, I was not.

You
weren't on a date with him?

No, I didn't, I was not on
a date, it was at a party.

I'm sorry that I've disappointed
you or frustrated you,

but I don't, I don't
know what to say.

It's real life,

I am who I am.

You were at a party,

and the next thing you know,

you wake up somewhere,

with the guy?

He was actually, he was just,

he was there, I saw him, yes.

You
didn't wake up like during,

when it was happening?

It's very, very hazy.

There are moments
I was in and out,

especially in the beginning.

How
do you feel like,

you would wanna handle that?

Would you wanna
have him arrested,

or would you wanna have
something happen to him,

or you don't think it
would make a difference?

I do not think it
would make a difference.

I'm just so frustrated,

because I really thought
that you were like,

seeing me for who I
am, and you don't!

You think I'm some
piece of shit,

and it's so frustrating,
'cause I'm not.

I'm not perfect,
sometimes I get confused

if people are sexualizing
me in their head,

and I'm like, no, I'm
just here for business.

But, people are
always sexualizing me,

and maybe it's just in my head,

maybe that's just what I think.

It wouldn't make a difference,

there are so many
of them out there.

But,
maybe you do that,

so he can't do it
to somebody else.

It's too late, I'm a lawyer,

and I know that I don't
have a case against him

at this point.

I have zero evidence whatsoever.

Wow.

I do really, really
care about you,

and just, you know,
to hear you say that,

just, I can't, stop,
don't say that.

I just can't hear that.

You think about it a lot?

Not while I'm working.

Fortunately, I'm very
busy, but that is why,

I need some tools to
help me in the evening,

because that's, that's
when I think about it.

I do think
you're a fucking good person.

I could see that
you're a good person,

but I could also see that
you're, very vulnerable,

you're like the most vulnerable
person I've ever known.

I mean, my thing would be that,

you would have to
confront that situation.

That you would have to face
that, and not try to bury it,

and not think about it,

but you have to come to
terms with it for yourself.

Okay, I don't know,
how do you do that?

- I don't really know.
- Well, I mean,

that takes time, it's
a pretty serious thing,

but there's a lot of things

that can happen
psychologically to you,

after something
like that happens.

You could think in some
way it's your fault.

You can resent men.

I do not think it's my fault.

No,
I know, I'm saying,

these are things
that could happen,

when that happens to someone.

I just wanna make you not
disappointed me anymore.

But, I'm just making
you frustrated.

You could feel
like you're always on guard.

You could feel like
you're always trying to,

keep people at a distance,

that you're kind of afraid
to be in certain situations.

I mean, there's a lot of
things that can come of that.

The first thing would be to
kind of, as hard as it is,

try to not bury it,
and try to face it,

and figure out how you feel
about it, how you look at it.

I know how I feel about it.

Tell me,
how do you feel about it?

I am very, I am angry
about it, of course.

I don't think anyone has
the right to do that.

Men do not have the right
to do that, to women.

I agree.

It just means
there's no progress.

And
so with this one girl,

I think it just
got too, too deep,

and too personal,
and too serious.

Do you feel like
she'll work it out?

I don't know.

I'm angry about it and I,

something needs to
be done about it.

I just, it's too late for
this specific situation, but,

maybe not in the future.

Answer your fucking
phone.

One second.

Do you
think that that's a factor

in why you're not interested
in having a relationship?

I just,

I don't know.

It's like, they're all the same.

I'm just like, playing over
and over again in my head.

What you said and what I said.

I didn't mean it,

I didn't mean it,

so I don't think that you
meant what you said either.

I don't think, you
think that I'm crazy.

I don't think, that you
think that I'm hopeless.

I think you were just
saying things to be mean,

and you thought that it
would make me go away,

but you're wrong.

I'm not going away and
I'm not going anywhere.

Do you think that

you're afraid to maybe
get close to somebody,

'cause you're afraid
of what kind of,

hurt that they can do to you?

I don't, could
be, I'm not sure.

I mean,
it is a heavy thing.

That's serious stuff.

Okay.

Okay.

If I was too angry,
well, I'm really sorry,

I didn't mean to be so angry.

I just, you're not
being very fair,

but ultimately I just
would really like it

if you'd call me back.

You should pick up your phone,

and listen to all of
my goddamn voicemails,

and try calling me back.

Do you feel like,

you have a different view
of men since that happened?

Somewhat, but even before him,

there were always signs that,

I've been around enough men
to know what they're like.

I know.

But, you know all men

are not like that, right?

Not all, no, but many.

Many
that you encounter.

That I've encountered, sure.

But, I'm sure there's

a lot of good people
out there, right?

- Sure, I'm sure there are-
- Who would never do that.

There's plenty of guys
that would never do that.

Okay.

Do
you believe that?

I'm sure there are guys
that wouldn't do that.

It's hard to tell which ones,

they're so good at pretending
to be one thing, and then,

being something
completely different.

I hate my father.

I hate myself.

It's something that
reflects in all of us.

We all have the capability
of being really fucked up.

Then, I'm like.

I don't know.

I
think you got a lot

you still gotta figure out.

But, really, I can't help you,
you have to help yourself.

But, that's so scary.

How
is this helping you?

It's been months of this,
how is this helping you?

How are you helping me?

How is
any of this helping you?

No one lives
happily ever after.

But, there is a line, like
we were talking about before,

there is a line you gotta draw,

because she's actually
not in your personal life.

She's your client.

Therefore, that's
where it's like,

conflict of interest.

Well, I guess
that's where I messed up.

Hello?

Just makes so much sense
for us to be together.

We laugh at the same things.

We like the same things.

We dress similar.

We love the same music.

We grew up in similar families.

We both hate stupid people.

I don't get it,

I'm literally alive to
be his partner in life,

It's obvious to me.

I will show him.

I will show him.

I will show him.

I will show him.

I will show him.

Hey, you,

I'm calling to see if
you're around later.

I will be in the area,

and I just thought it would
be really convenient for us,

if we can meet really quick,

and just talk about
a couple of things,

and just wrap all of this up.

I know we still love each other
and care about each other.

Let's just put an
end to all of this,

you can give me my things.

We can finally get closure,
say goodbye, and move on.

We can both move on.

I know you're having just
as much trouble as me,

I will talk to you soon.

Okay, bye.

Hey,

I just really miss you.

Hey, it's me.

I'm outside your house,

and if you're home, you
should just come outside.

I can do things, you know?

I just wanna like,

I just wanna feel you, and
see you, and touch you.

I'm just outside, just
walk like a couple feet,

and I'm right here.

I miss you.

I know you're still
in love with me.

We're gonna be together forever.

If you look out your window
right now, I'm like right here,

I'm waving at you.

I just had a horrible
thought, I hope you're alone.

I look really nice.

I put on a sexy dress,
I put on my lipstick.

I'm not wearing a bra.

Come out and see me.

I'm your special someone,

and you're mine,
you're mine forever.

You'll see.

I'm in a really fun
mood, majorly fun.

You know, I'm open.

Oh, babe, baby, baby,
baby, I miss you.

I miss you so much.

I miss the sound of your voice.

All I get are your
voicemail sounds.

That's a robot, that's not you.

I just wanna be with you,

like intertwined.

In each other, together.

I just want, I don't
wanna be alone anymore.

Being alone is the worst.

I'm constantly lost, and
fading into my oblivion.

Heh, oops.

Hey, why are you hiding?

You want me to find you?

I did, I'm outside, I found you.

Your turn, come find me,
come find me, please.

I don't really wanna
do this anymore.

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull