Original subtitles

This is a story

of how Welsh Wales came to town.

It all began in...

Yes, Hafoduwchbenceubwllymarchogcoch.

- Is that you, Gwilym?

Listen, Mr. Davies the manager

wants to see Twm and Dai number nine.

Yes, they are to go up at once,

he's got some wonderful news for 'em.

- Righto, I'll tell them.

Ianto!

Hello!

- Pass down for Twm and Dai number nine

to see the big boss, something to tell them.

- Righto, Hemblyn!

Twm and Dai number nine to see the boss right away.

Got a thing or two to say to them.

Come on, old girl.

- Idris!

Twm and Dai to see the boss at the double.

He's gonna tell 'em a thing or two.

Hey!

Hey!

Twm and Dai, boss wants you.

Gonna get your notice I reckon.

What you been doing?

- Me, I ain't done nothing.

What you been up to, Dai?

- Me, I haven't done nothing, man.

- Well, someone's done something.

Go on, be quick, don't keep the little man waiting.

- Ee, don't be so soft, man.

It's Dai, afraid of dirty coal.

- Good luck, boys.

Don't be down hearted.

- Rotten luck, boys.

Rough old ornament he is too, when he's in a mood.

You wanna be careful what you say, see?

Once you put your foot in it,

he'll twist it round on you in no time.

- I haven't done nothing, I tell you.

Lawn, I know what it is.

It's that twitching of yours.

Half the colliers at the coalface idle listening.

Interfering with output, that's what you are.

The committee'll visit in on you.

- What did you say to Tom Thomas

when he trod on your finger?

Called him an Englishman,

insulting language to officials, that'll be it.

Hurry up, boys, they're waiting for you.

- Come on! - Yes, come on!

- Ee, the manager's in the P office.

- Oh, righto.

- Come on.

- Here they are, Mr. Davies.

What have you been up to?

- Silence!

Good lad, Twm, good lad.

- Wake me up, somebody.

- No whiskey for Dai, Mr. Davies,

he's tee total.

- But this is a very special occasion, Bronwen.

- Mr. Davies.

- Silence, all.

Boys,

you don't know it,

but today, we are famous!

Famous from Land's End to John o'Groats.

Up there in London, the hub of the universe,

what are the newsboys shouting this January evening?

Hafoduwchbenceubwllymarchogcoch.

What are the pigeons in Trafalgar Square cooing?

- What's it all about, Mr. Davies?

- What are the lions roaring

in the zoological gardens?

- But what is it about, Mr. Davies?

- But I'm telling you, aren't I?

Haven't Twm and Dai number nine

won the London Echo prize

for filling more coal in a month

than any other pair of pit buddies in any field anywhere?

What do they catch, Mr. Davies?

- Glory, man, glory!

Oh.

- And I?00 in cash.

And on top of that,

the best seats in the stand

for the international rugby football match

between Wales and England at Twickenham.

- Twickenham, that's tomorrow!

Hasn't the club coach gone?

- Aye, it'll be gone now, there's the train though!

- Not much time for the old train either!

Now come on boys, we'll all give an 'and.

- Hey, get my best suit, somebody.

It's under the mattress.

- Aye, and mine too, it's under Twm's.

Righto.

- Aren't you afraid of letting Dai go off without you?

If those London girls get after him...

- Cor, smashers they are.

Paint on their toenails.

You better warn him watch his step.

- What you going to do for a hat, Dai?

- Wear my best cap.

Wear my trilby then.

- You can't go get your prize money in that old thing, Dai.

- What size your head, boy?

- Well, never mind about the size, man,

so long as it fits.

Try mine.

- Aye, try this one.

Oh no, chuck it out.

What about this one?

- Here we are.

- Try mine, Dai!

- Yes, lovely you look, Dai.

- Pass for a deacon any time.

Sits right tidy on his ears, don't it?

- Lawn, I couldn't take your hat, Mr. Davies.

Might get bashed in or something.

- Take it, my boy, take it.

Let it be a sacred symbol.

A reminder of your Bron.

- Don't you let it out of your sight for a minute, Dai.

- Lose your head but not your hat.

- Don't you lose nothing, Dai.

- Hey, hey, hey,

fetch my dad's watch and chain somebody, will you?

Where is it?

- It's up the bedroom chimney, of course.

- Well boys, here's £5 each for the journey.

And I am sure the good wishes of us all go with you.

And there hasn't been an occasion like this

since that day 10 years ago

when our good Twm here

won the petition singing at the national Eisteddfod.

Twm singing and Huw Price at the harp.

- Hurry up boys, or you'll miss the train.

- I wonder how old Huw is getting on in London.

- Harping before the king and queen by now,

if he's got it right.

- How do I look, Bron?

- You'll pass.

- I believe you're jealous.

- I'm not.

- Them London girls, is it?

- Well, you've never been to London,

and it's a long way,

and you haven't got any experience

even though you think you have.

- Oh, you women, you're all the same.

- Don't call me women in that tone of voice either.

- Come on, stop saying pretty things to each other.

Train won't wait.

- Have a good time, love, and come back safe.

Keep an eye on him, Twm Bach.

- One eye on him and the other on the match,

I'll be ruddy squinting.

- Hey, little old train!

At least it's tonight, only five minutes behind our time.

- Lawn, everybody's catching the train except us.

Come on!

- Here's your leeks, boys.

- That's right, stick it on me.

- There you are.

- Here's your tickets, boys.

Change at Cardiff General.

Good luck on your journey, boys.

- Don't forget, Dai.

- So long now!

Be seeing you!

- Lawn, I never told the boys

for getting their prize money and all that.

You'll be met at Paddington, boys!

- Shouting, he is!

What's the silly old article shouting about?

- No, you nearly lost your sacred symbol already, man.

- Right so.

- Man from the Echo will be meeting you at Paddington!

- Here you are, man.

- Ta.

What you doing?

- Ah, it's London we're going to, boy, not Swansea.

London, beware of pickpockets.

- Get away.

Nobody won't get my money without my knowing it.

Hey, talking of cash,

how do we get our prize money?

- Prize money?

Will I go out and get the match tickets?

- That's what the silly old article

must have been shouting about!

Oh, there you are, man.

- I thought I'd lost you.

- Hey, any room in there, boys?

- What voice?

- Tenor.

- No room for tenors, bass we're wanting.

♪ Ocean bay he was faithful, boy ♪

♪ He was plagued with desperation ♪

♪ He was favourite of the union ♪

♪ And a dealer of the ashen ♪

♪ Was you ever seen ♪

♪ Was you ever seen ♪

♪ Was you ever seen ♪

- Hello, Whimple, just in time.

- My dear sir, it's you, I'm so glad.

As I told the editor,

undoubtedly the finest flower photographer

in the whole of Fleet Street.

- Oh, holly nice of you to say so, but er...

- But it's true, you're pictures adorn my column,

you bring a ray of sunlight into my Garden Beautiful.

Now, which is the platform?

- Here, nine.

- Ah.

I'm intrigued to meet these Jones brothers.

The message didn't specify what it is they've grown.

- Grown?

They haven't grown anything, they've been cutting-

- Cutting, at this time of the year?

- No, no, no, it's the prize,

you've got to take them to Twickenham.

- Surely you mean Kew Gardens?

- Don't you ever read the paper you work for?

- Read the Weekly Echo?

That rag?

- Listen, the Joneses are miners,

they've won our prize.

Now, you've got to take them to the rugger match,

show them the big city,

and write a spellbinding human interest story about them.

- I'm not a sports writer,

I'm a gardening correspondent.

Station announcer, station announcer.

The train now arriving at platform nine

is the night express from south Wales.

- Action stations!

How are we to know these fellows when we see them?

- That's all taken care of, they'll be wearing leeks.

- Come on, let's get ahead of the crowd.

Hello, Dai!

- They will be wearing leeks.

For the first time in living memory,

somebody on the Echo has made an understatement.

- Come on, better make an announcement.

- Who to?

To whom?

- Loud hailer, make a signal to 'em.

- Station announcer.

Passengers from south Wales,

will Mr. Thomas Jones and Mr. David Jones,

J-O-N-E-S, from, where the they from?

Would Mr. Thomas and Mr. David Jones from,

love a duck!

Would Mr. Thomas and Mr. David Jones

from Wales

please call at the station master's office

on platform one.

Where's Dafydd One-eye?

Tell him he's wanted in the station master's office.

- Twm!

Twm Thomas!

You're wanted!

- Dai, Dai Ice Cream!

The station master wants you!

- Mr. Jones the Fish!

Mr. Jones the Fish!

Where are you, boy Bach?

Station master's asking for you at once twice!

Mr. Jones the Fish!

- Expecting us.

- Aye.

Is this London?

- Don't exactly take your breath away, do it?

Hmm, this bacon's only steam.

- Well, there's something wrong here,

it says sausage and bacon,

but it's baked beans on toast to me.

Scrambled eggs.

Oo, they're baked beans too.

- Fried egg and chips indeed.

Hey miss, there's something wrong here.

Somebody's been putting baked beans in all these cupboards.

- Breakfast today is baked beans.

Hurry up please, you're keeping others waiting.

- Two teas please.

And jam, Twm man, you need some jam for your bread.

Oh aye.

- Steady, old man, who you shoving?

- Huh, thought I'd lost you.

- Don't talk nonsense.

- Not nonsense at all.

Nearly lost each other on the train, didn't we?

Well then, much easier in London.

Suppose we do,

if it's the morning, each go to Twickenham,

and meet at the entrance outside.

If it's after the match,

we'll meet at Paddington, under the clock, see?

Now, we must have a plan.

St. Paul's, we'll go there first, see it proper.

- Aye.

And then the Echo.

I?00, that's money for you.

We might have some over at the end of the day.

- Talking of money, did you count your change?

- Oh, don't be so terrible,

they wouldn't cheat you in a place like this.

- Uh huh.

- I'm supposed to have £4. 17.

10 bob short!

- What did I tell you?

Diddled you, ee.

- Oh, you, what's 10 bob to a man with I?00?

Chicken feed is 10 bob.

- Chicken feed's to be counted as well as chicken.

- Is this yours?

- Well, yes it is!

Thank you very much.

- Very decent of you, I'm sure, miss.

- Pleasure.

You're Welsh, aren't you?

- Yes, how did you guess?

- Aye, we are.

- Won't you sit down and join us, miss?

Have a cup of coffee.

- Aye, indeed.

- Well, I've finished really, but-

- Go on.

- I'll just sit down for a minute then.

This your first visit to London?

- Aye, first visit to England.

- But Wales is part of England.

Oh!

Shame on you.

- It's easy to see you've never been to Wales, miss.

- That's right.

Never been further west than the West End.

- See Dai?

This is one of the young ladies you was warned against.

- Oh, really?

Well it's all right, miss, only joking I was.

Back home, they was saying Dai would lose his hat up here.

- Depends how long you're gonna be here.

- Oh, only up for the day, see.

- Ah, I see.

Well, you can't come to much harm in that time, can you?

- Hey, you're not going, are you?

- Yes, I'm afraid I must.

Well, have a good time.

And if you can't be careful,

be clever, bye bye.

So long now.

- Goodbye.

Well, there's a nice girl for you.

- Aye, very nice indeed, no side either.

- No, plenty of everything else though.

- Is this yours?

- Lawn, it must be hers, that young lady's.

Here, I'll take it to her.

Hi, miss!

Hey!

Is this yours?

- Why yes.

Well, I must have left it behind.

Thank you very much.

- Well, I must be going now.

- Oh must you?

- It's been a pleasure meeting you.

- Now, where's my lighter?

I must've left that behind too.

- That's careless, you are.

You'll be forgetting yourself next.

- I might.

Come on, let's go back, shall we?

- Dai!

Hey.

Sorry.

- The hat!

It's Huw Davies the manager's hat!

- Excuse me.

- Oh.

- I'll trouble you to leave my hat alone, sir.

- Sorry.

Sorry.

- Oi, that's my lid!

- Hey!

What's the big idea, cutthroat?

- Huw!

Huw Price!

Don't you remember me?

Twm number nine?

- Twm? - Aye.

- Twm baritone?

- That's right, we won the national together.

Me singing to your harp, remember?

Lawn, it's good to see you.

And you.

Well, who'd have thought now?

- What brought you to this, then?

- Oh, come to collect my money, I have.

£10000 each we get.

- £10000?

- Aye.

- Well, you've only got tuppence so far.

- Oh, some, some daft mistake, me with two hats.

- Hey, like a carp with two heads.

That's right, yes.

You'd better have that, it's yours.

- Oh no, I wouldn't take your money.

- You haven't seen our Dai around here

running after a woman, have you?

- No, they don't need running after round here.

£100 eh?

Well, let's go and have a quick one.

- No, no time boy, I've got to find-

- Nonsense, you can't meet old Huw after all these years

without having a pint of it.

I don't meet a fellow who's won £100 every day, man.

- But it's too early, man, nowhere open.

- Trust me, boy.

- But Dai, I've got to find Dai.

- Never say Dai.

Anyway, if he's running after a woman,

we'll have time for half a dozen.

Come on.

- Well, he must be tupped,

skedaddling off like that on his ownsome.

- Oh, he'll be all right, we'll find him.

- Find him all right, but how do I know he's got it?

- Got what?

- The hat, the hat.

- Well, you can get another, can't you?

What's the fuss?

Oh I see, something special about that hat, is there?

- Yes, yes.

- Of all the crazy places to pack a wad.

Where were you making for before all this happened?

- Aye...

- Think.

- St. Paul's, that was it!

- Well, that's where he'll be then!

Come on.

Taxi!

Well, iechyd da, man!

Lechyd da.

And cheerio to you, guv'nor.

- You'll get me locked up, you will.

- Have a drop of something short to help it down, man.

- No, no, just takes some getting used to, I suppose.

- Ah, you have to get used to a lot of things up here, man.

- Well aye, indeed.

- Hmm, never thought you'd find Huw Price

singing in the gutter, Twm.

- Back home, they were saying

you'd be entertaining at Buckingham Palace.

- No palace for me, Twm.

No disrespect mind, but I'd rather sing to my own people,

and I thought if I came to these parts today,

I'd find them round here, see.

- But it's a Harper you were, man.

Why not play the harp to them?

Better were you than singing.

- Aye, but a Harper without his harp is like...

Well, like an empty glass with nothing in it.

Same again guv'nor please.

Cheer up, Huw man.

We'll go fetch your harp

and we'll take it with us to the match, see.

Lawn, we'll sing until they open the gates.

- Too late, Twm Bach, too late.

- Well, where is she then?

- I pawned her.

What?

- In the 'Arrow Road.

- You should not have done that, Huw.

It's against the laws.

- Fat lot he cares for the law.

- You and your Saxon laws.

If a pint's right at one time,

why's it wrong at another?

But pawning a harp at any time,

there's immorality for you.

It's against the bardic laws, the ancient laws of Wales.

- I swore I wouldn't do it,

but I had to in the end.

That's the trouble with me, see?

I got no blooming backbone.

- Huw boy,

if there's one thing I'm going to do today,

it's get back your harp.

We can't leave it to rot in some old junk shop

at the mercy of those barbarians.

Come on, man, drink up.

- Why, where we going?

- To the pop shop.

To the Harry Road.

Psst.

- From Vienna.

- Yes yes, not so bad.

Tenor a bit throaty, hey Twm?

- Definitely.

Good natural voice, insufficiently disciplined.

- You realise that was the Osten Reichister Stat Opera?

- Oh, it's a fine opera, Tristan.

Music of the winds, passion.

Lovely passion.

Voices riding on roaring whirlwinds

from the heart of man.

We did a little business some time ago,

and my friend here-

- I can't give you anything for that.

- If the king of England wanted that, he couldn't buy it.

Tommy Meredith

will tell you what he thinks of Wales's chances-

- The match!

- A little transaction over a harp, it was.

- Hmm.

Ticket.

Expired.

- Expired?

You mean out of date?

- Over two years, harp's sold, I expect.

- Sold?

You sold my harp?

Nonsense, she's here, I feels it here.

I can almost smell her.

- Then you must have a wonderful nose,

because if it's anywhere, it'll be right at the back.

And I'm much too busy to look for it now.

Come back tomorrow.

- Too busy, eh?

That settles it.

Ah, here she is, my lovely!

Oh, beauty, I've found thee! - Confound you!

Can't you keep quiet

for the Osten Reichister Stat Opera?

- You call yourself a lover of music,

you blooming knob twiddler,

and leave the harp of a chief singer

to rust among warming pans,

and the jaws of foxes?

- £25.

- What?

£717 and six pence was all you give me for her.

- And that's all you'll get back, boy Bach.

Iach, I haven't got it.

- £25 and dirt cheap at the price.

Anyone else, £30 to £50.

It's a lovely harp, that.

Quite unique.

- Unipue?

You're telling me.

She has a soul, which is more than you have.

Or ever will have.

♪ Hey there was a squire ♪

♪ On cart with a lad ♪

♪ Now here, I've got £4 ♪

♪ I'll bring the rest later ♪

- £4 nothing.

I?4 is the very least I could let if go for.

I tell you what I'll do.

I?2, 10 shillings.

But that's my last word, and ready cash, now.

♪ In an hour or two, I will have ♪

♪ Plenty of money ♪

- Let's see that.

Gold, eh?

- Hey, don't let him touch that.

That's his granda's presentation watch

for being the deacon for 50 years.

And a teetotaler for ?0.

- No watch, no harp.

- All right then, I'll leave it as my pledge,

and come back when I got my prize.

- Close at five.

- I'll be back, don't you worry.

- Is it far to St. Paul's?

I've never been in a cathedral before.

- Neither have I.

- Oh, you chapel too?

- Dickens and Jones.

And back there, DH Evans and John Lewis.

We Welsh have bought up the town.

- Are those Welsh names?

- But of course they are.

- Oh.

- What's your name?

- Jo.

- Jo?

What sort of a plain name is that for a girl like you?

It's Myfanwy you want to be called,

or Caroline, or Elizabeth itself.

- What about this brother of yours now?

Can't let him run around with £200 on him.

Anything might happen to him.

- Oh but it can't.

He hasn't got it yet.

- What?

Where is it?

- We've got to get it from a newspaper,

the Echo, see?

- Well, that's where he'll be then.

Why are we going to St. Paul's?

Stop at the Echo office in Fleet Street, will you?

- Whimple, I know your heart belongs to Kew Gardens,

but it seems to me that you've fallen down

badly on this assignment.

- I'm very glad to hear it, sir.

Means I can get down to next Friday's Garden Beautiful.

- Garden Beautiful.

Whimple, if we must handle this mining story,

there'll be no gardening article needed next Friday.

- It has to be Friday, sir, that's my deadline.

- It may well prove so to be.

If you know what's good for you,

you'll get out and trace those two confounded miners that...

Those two gallant fighters

in the battle of post-War Britain,

and bring them here at once.

Yes?

Mr. Jones to see you, sir.

- Which Mr. Jones?

- Where's he from?

From?

I'm afraid I can't say, sir.

It's them sir, they're found.

- Send them in, send everyone in.

Now remember, Whimple,

handled in the right way,

this stunt's a big thing.

But the wrong way, bungled,

why, the Welsh'll never let us hear the last of it,

and you know how they talk.

It could cost us more than half our Welsh sales.

Good heavens, female miners.

Whatever will the Coal Board think of next?

- The young lady's not a miner, sir.

- Oh no, I was ?2 last birthday.

- She's showing me what I ought to see in London.

- Ah, yes, quite.

Well now, this is Mr...

Mr. Whimple, our garden, er, guard of honour so to speak.

Mr. Whimple's so sorry he couldn't meet you at Paddington.

Jane.

Er, Jane, excuse me.

Jane, never mind about that now.

Come on, I have something...

Miss Benson, this is Mr. Jones.

Miss Benson is covering the woman's angle.

- How do you do? - And this is Miss, um, er...

- Delighted to meet you.

And what did your family say to all this, Mr. Jones?

- Well, er, I don't think that they...

- I mean, what did they say

when the heard you'd won the prize?

- Oh.

- Well come along now, pictures,

Mr. Jones hasn't got all day, you know?

- Prize.

- I haven't got the prize yet either.

- Ah, yeah.

Mm hmm.

Quite, Whimple, quite.

Well now, we must just establish your identity.

- Identity?

- Oh, purely a formality, of course.

- But I've never had to do that before.

They all know me back home, see?

- But you must have an identity card, haven't you?

- Well, it's behind the teapot back home.

With my union card.

Best place for them, I might lose them in London.

- Ah, yes.

What?

- May I suggest...

- Exactly, ring up the manager at the colliery,

no doubt he can help us.

- Excuse me.

Get...

Get me...

Um...

H for hyacinth, A for azalea, F for fuchsia-

- Hafoduwchbenceubwllymarchogcoch one.

- Congratulations, sir.

- Oh, thank you.

Well now, what about your brother?

What's happened to him?

- Oh, he'll be on his way to Twickenham.

Match is all he bothers with, our Twm.

- Hey, where are you going?

That's Fleet Street, man.

- Yes, but thirsty work it is, carrying it, see?

We'll just slip in here and have a quick one.

- But I've got to go to the Echo, see?

- Oh, plenty of time, plenty of time.

- No, no, I ...

- Well you hold it while I have one then.

Look at these two.

- Hello chum, where's your wings?

- Well, you'll never find them, boy.

- Two pints of bitter please, miss.

- And a couple of large gins, miss.

Must give 'em a snifter.

Beer these days is too weak to stand up in the glass.

- Dogs' noses, eh?

- Dog's nose.

Very appropriate.

- What's wrong with my nose, little man.

There's nothing wrong,

it's just appropriate.

- This nose can smell the primrose in the spring.

Or a mutton chop cooking,

or the well brushed hair of children in the park.

It is filled with the savours of innocence,

and memory.

The moss under the waterfall.

The little girl under the haystack,

and the cowslips in the railway cutting.

It can smell out the corruption

in a den of Hippocrates,

scoundrels, and dead souls.

Anyhow, it is mostly indigestion,

to what are you talking about.

- Quiet gentlemen, please.

No music.

This is a respectable house.

- Respectable?

Music by licence only, what a country.

- Yes, quite Mr. Davies, but we're not discussing your Twm,

or Huw Price the harp,

we are merely asking if there's any way we can identify...

Has he any peculiarities?

He used to what as a boy?

Well, that's no help at all.

- Excuse me, please.

Hello, is that you, Mr. Davies?

Yes, Dai number nine, aye.

Now listen.

- Yes, that's enough, that's enough.

Whimple.

- Ah Mr. Davies.

There's no doubt about it at all?

Splendid.

Thank you very much.

This must be a very bad line,

I thought you said, "How's my bowler hat?"

- I've seen that girl before.

- In the square mile?

- No, in court I think.

Some sort of racket.

- What sort of racket?

- I can't remember.

- Can't have our proteges mixed up in that sort of thing.

Whimple, this is what comes of not meeting trains properly.

You've got to ditch that girl.

- Sir, I am prepared in the exceptional circumstances

to endure a day in London,

which I cordially dislike,

and even to write a heartwarming story for tomorrow's Echo,

but I am not prepared to ditch unwanted girls.

- As I hinted earlier, please yourself.

Mr. Whimple's Garden Beautiful can always be ploughed in.

- Excuse me.

- Ah, there we are, thank you.

- Would you, er, just...

- It gives me great pleasure

on behalf of our five million readers,

et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, hold it!

Now Whimple, take Mr. Jones off,

show him the sights, lunch him well, and then Twickenham.

Don't lose him at Twickenham, now.

There'll be ?0,000 people there, you know.

- I know, sir.

My error.

Well now, Mr. Jones, what sights do you want to see?

- Oh, I don't know really.

I'll leave it up to you, shall I?

Except that I shouldn't want to miss St. Paul's,

and the Monument,

and the Bank of England, the BBC,

oh and the Underground.

- Last will be a little difficult by car,

but never mind.

Goodbye, Miss, er...

Oh, she's gone.

- I left the front seat for Dai.

- Oh no, I'll get in the back with you.

- Perhaps I can drop you somewhere?

- Drop us?

Well yes, if you have to.

Can't he?

- No, no, I don't have to.

- Weekly Echo, here we are.

- Mr. President, this is not the first time

that I've considered writing on this most important work.

Namely the relationship between the press and the public.

Before I go any further...

♪ Fa lalalala Ialalala ♪

♪ In and out boys and we'll come ♪

♪ Fa lalalala Ialalala ♪

♪ Here boy, here man ♪

- Sergeant.

Sergeant, what is all that noise?

Two men with a harp want to see you, sir.

- Well, chuck 'em out.

- Chucked out like a couple of drunkards.

- Thieves, scoundrels, rapscallions!

Stolen our money they have.

Not gonna let 'em get away with it, are you, boy Bach?

- Right you are.

Could you tell me the way to Twickenham please?

- Well, it's not in there, is it?

Nor's the Albert Hall.

Move along, maestro.

- Come on, I know the way all right.

- So far, we've seen Nelson's Column,

Cleopatra's Needle, the Corner House,

the British Museum, the Houses of Parliament,

and the Welsh Harp at Hendon.

Have any further wishes before we go to Twickenham?

Time's getting on.

- Aye, the Tower of London.

Must see the Tower of London, hey Jo?

- Well, what does it feel like to be in the money?

- Oh, fine.

I want to spend some of it on a present.

For someone.

A girl?

Oh yes, yes.

What's her name?

Bronwen.

- Is she pretty?

- Of course, she's Welsh isn't she?

- You engaged?

- Well, sort of.

- Sort of?

Have you got the ring?

- Well, um ...

No, I...

- Well, if I was your girl,

I'd like a ring as my present from London.

- It's Saturday afternoon, you know.

Early closing.

- Only in the West End.

You know, we'd have much more fun

without that ghoulish thing.

Let's lose him.

- Tower of London.

- Oh, pull up please.

- Car park over there, sir.

Can't leave her here.

- But we'll only be a minute or two.

- Car park over there, sir.

- Wait for me!

- Tickets, sir.

- Certainly, how much.

- Ticket office over there sir.

- Can't I, um...

- Ticket office over there, sir.

The next is Oueen Mary's crown.

The next is one is the Crown of England,

and is known as King Edward's Crown.

- Oh, what those must be worth.

- Gee, they don't half sparkle, like frost.

- Seems a pity we can't have

just one teeny one for your girl.

King'd never miss it.

- Ha ha.

Pity about early closing.

I'd like to have got her a ring.

- Really?

I know a place we can get her a lovely one.

New guard,

move forward,

march!

New guard,

up and over,

march!

En garde!

Present,

hold!

Next, you have the Oueen's Orb.

Below, you have the Ivory...

- Look, Dai!

Here's the Victoria Cross, see?

And there, we have the Sword of State.

- Er, clockwise round, if you please sir.

- Whoops, careful sir.

- So sorry, I hope I didn't hurt you.

- Oh, it's not me, sir, it's my little cactus.

- Can be most painful, hey?

I do apologise.

Cactus.

- Unofficial, sir,

and not exactly one of the Crown Jewels,

but this is just the place for him

up here in the winter time.

Nice and dry and an even temperature.

- Echinopsis, I see.

- Echinopsis, yes.

He was gown from seed, he was.

And this summer, we're going to bed him out.

Yes we are.

- And you must make the bed with the greatest care.

I suggest a mixture of broken bricks and sand.

Bricks and sand.

Where are you thinking of putting him?

On the landing outside my bedroom.

Does it face south?

- Well, not exactly, more like south west.

- The important thing is to keep turning the bed over.

- Turn the bed over, yes.

- I should know, put a little tepid water on him

once a week.

- Tepid water, eh?

- And lime, but early turning over's the important thing.

Always remember, aeration is the soul of cultivation.

- Why, you've been reading that old fusspot in the Echo.

Aeration, cultivation.

- Gee, here's a smashing view for you.

I'd like to see that bridge open.

- Oh look Dai, that's us.

Ships that pass in the night.

- One of them's a collier too.

- Where've you been all my life?

- Down the pit, I shouldn't wonder.

Two o'clock.

Better get going.

Iach!

We've lost the gooseberry all right,

but he's got the tickets!

Oh, there's daft, I am.

Come all this way to see the match,

and I've lost my brother,

and Davies the manager's bowler,

and now I look like missing the match as well.

Well, we'll just have to go find him again, that's all.

Come on.

- Well, see you same time, same place next year.

- What you talking about, girl?

Come on.

- I'm not coming.

- Not coming?

- I haven't got a ticket.

- But I'll get you one.

I can run do it now.

- You won't get one for love nor money.

It's very sweet of you, Dai,

but it's no good, really.

Besides, I couldn't sit next to you, and,

well, it wouldn't be much fun without you.

- It won't be much fun without you.

- Oh Dai, that is a compliment.

- It's the truth.

- Really?

I'm gonna miss you, do you know that, Dai?

- Well, I suppose I ...

- One for the road.

Go on, you'll be late.

- What?

- We could have had a wonderful time,

Daffyd.

- We're going to have a wonderful time, girl.

I can see a rugger match any old time,

but I can't see you.

- Oh, Dai.

- Any news of Jones?

- Two million mothers would like him for their sons.

I just said so.

What do you mean, any news?

Shouldn't you be telling us?

- If you're going to take that attitude.

I had hoped for some help.

- Hey, come back.

I checked the photograph of that floozy.

She's a pro all right.

A con woman.

- Pro and con.

- A professional confidence trickster.

She specialises in provincials up for a spree.

- Oh, horrors.

The I?00.

- Exactly.

She'll trick him into parting with the dough

and if that doesn't work,

she'll fall back on the creep.

- The creep?

- They always work with a male stooge.

If Mr. Jones fails to part,

she'll take him back to her flat.

And while she keeps his attention fully occupied,

the stooge creeps in on all fours,

and pinches the dough.

- How much I prefer vegetables to human beings.

- Jane, I'm killing the Kiddies' Corner this week.

When Whimple's stuff comes in...

What are you doing here?

- To be exact, sir...

- Have you lost that girl all right?

- Oh yes sir, I've lost her.

- Good, and what have you done with young Jones?

- Well, as a matter of fact, he's lost, I-, I-, I-, I-,

lost in admiration of the Tower of London, sir.

- Oh, "Heroic Miner Enthralled

by London's Historic Pageantry."

- Thank you, sir.

- Yes, I believe you're going to turn me in

a front page story after all.

Now off you go, and remember,

no jokes in your copy about the bloody tower,

we've had them.

- I don't think there'll be many jokes in my copy, sir.

- Is this is?

Oh my goodness, what's this coming in?

Hold tight now.

You can't bring that thing

on this vehicle.

You've got to sit down.

Signal the conductor,

get 'em off. - Conductor!

- Hello.

- Conductor, turn them off.

They're drunk!

- Aye aye.

You're 'ere.

- Twickenham?

- Under what regulation?

Are harps not to be carried on buses, hey?

- All right, let's try another one then.

No standing till after four o'clock.

That do you?

Now come along, please.

- We only wanted to get to Twickenham.

- Yeah, be all the same if you wanna get to heaven, mate.

No standing till after four o'clock.

- You heard what he said, Twm?

No standing room in heaven?

There'll be standing room for Welshmen, me boy.

- Don't this old conveyor belt run lovely?

- Yeah.

- Better than the one we got in the pit.

- Mm, very nice.

You know, we ought to be thinking

about getting that ring, Dai.

- Oh, that's right, aye.

Best one we can find.

- Mm.

- Hey, look at the head room they've got here.

- Yes, as a matter of fact,

I've got a friend of mine who's a diamond merchant.

In quite a big way.

Does most of his business in a little cafe in Marble Arch.

- Marble Arch?

Oh, I haven't seen that yet.

- Good, well we'll kill two birds with the one stone.

- Twm!

Give us the hat, Twm!

Dai, come back!

- Twm!

- Mind the doors!

Wait!

- Hey, hey!

Hey!

- Ah, there you are, Bach!

Morning, all.

- Find yourself a seat, man.

- You'd better have my seat, my man.

- Manor House, Finsbury Park, Arsenal.

Up the Arsenal!

Twickenham, where's Twickenham?

Hey!

Where's this train going to?

Don't none of you know where you're going?

- Excuse me, do you want to get to Twickenham?

- That's the idea, mister.

- Well, I'm afraid this train won't get you there.

No, what you want is a Green Line coach

from Hyde Park Corner.

?01 or 702 I believe.

- No, no, no, 2? A all the way.

- I have a cousin in Twickenham

and I always take a taxi from Richmond.

- Buses have to be good enough for most of us.

- Really.

- You want a trolley bus, 66? From Hammersmith.

- Twickers?

You can't beat the jolly old southern from Waterloo.

- He'll do better on 33 from Hammersmith.

- No, no, 27A all the way, simple.

- Oh, but you got to get to?A.

If he takes the 33 from Hammersmith-

I think the Green Line run every half hour.

- Ah, but then he has to change at Brentford

onto the trolley bus.

- He'll do better on the 33 from Hammersmith.

Come on Wales!

Wales!

Wales!

- England!

England!

- There you are, Mr. Jones, take your pick.

You know, I always say that a good woman

maybe above rubies, but she's not above diamonds.

- They're smashers, all of them.

- Yes, well don't be too long about it,

because I've got an appointment

at the Dorchester in 20 minutes.

Oh yes, they're all lovely stones,

and all hunky dory.

- Here, what do you think you're playing at?

Noughts and crosses?

- A quaint little place this, isn't it?

You know, I always come here to study human nature,

and to drink the best coffee in London.

- Which one do you like, Dai?

- Don't know, really.

Which do you like?

- This one for my money.

Or rather yours.

- Trust a woman to pick the best of the bunch,

hey Mr. Jones?

Aye.

How much?

- Well, as a matter of fact, it's a bit of a bargain.

£50, and no purchase tax to you, old man.

- Oh, that is generous.

Isn't it a beauty, Dai?

- Yes.

But you know, I think my Bron,

my young lady, would like this one best.

It's quiet, I see.

- It's too quiet, Mr. Jones.

It's not nearly such a good stone, and it's dearer,

60 quid.

- Really?

- Really.

This is more refined, like.

- Well, what's wrong with this?

- All right, I'll take it.

- You'll never regret it, Mr. Jones.

There's not another like it in the whole of Hatton Gardens.

Lucky I happened to have it on me.

Of course, we don't open on Saturdays.

- Very well then.

Better count it.

- No need for that, old man.

- Very trusting for a businessman, aren't you?

- Ah, that's the secret of good business,

to know who to trust.

Yes.

- Well, no hard feelings now,

but I think I'll take a look at this by the daylight.

- Yeah, that's a good idea.

You'll appreciate its beauty all the better.

- Safe?

- Yes, best fake ring ever.

Who's the mug?

- Won a big prize.

- 5050.

- Okay.

- Sorry, but Bron would like this one best.

I feel it in my bones.

Well, that's that.

Now I'll just go and pay the bill

and then we can get going, shall we Jo?

- Do you know what?

He's gone and paid 60 quid for a ring that's worth 60 quid.

- I'll get it back and the rest.

- Well, make sure of that, I know you.

Take him to your flat and I'll creep at half past eight.

- Look here, Barney,

there's no need to do that. - Nevermind the Barney,

I'm gonna make sure you're on the straight.

- Well, goodbye, Mr. Barney.

And thank you very much.

You've done me a real good turn.

- Thanks, mister.

Come on, Huw Bach!

That's better.

What's the result, mister?

- Result?

- Who won, man?

- New Cambrian, 16 points to five.

- Wales!

- But weren't you at the match?

- Well, no, not quite, see?

Funny old day I'm having and no mistake.

Come to collect my prize, I did, but did I get it?

No.

Come to see the match I was, but did I see it?

No.

- You haven't lost a brother by any chance?

- Haven't lost a brother by any chance?

Well, yes I have.

That's extraordinary, go on.

Oh Dai, look.

- There's not much choice, is there?

- Come on.

- Hello.

- Oh, it's about the dress in the window.

- I know, it couldn't be more fun, could it?

- Well, er, I'd like to try it on please.

- Would you?

Oh good.

Miss Carpenter.

- Yes, Mrs. Pargiter?

- Miss Carpenter, this lady wants Desire Under the EIms.

Such fun, the names, aren't they?

Miss Carpenter, will you take madam

into one of the French fitting rooms?

I'm all for French fitting, aren't you?

Look, do come and sit down, won't you?

Hello, how amusing of you to come in.

- Dear Mrs. Pargiter, I'm at my wits' end.

I've nothing to wear for the Blood Sports Ball.

- Oh, quell tragedy.

Mrs. Simmering, take madam's measures, will you?

Oh dear.

Now then, bust?

34.

With uplift and savers.

Waist?

?3.

23 with bosty.

Hips?

?6.

With two way stretch.

- Sir, madam's ready now.

- Do you like it?

- Like it?

- It's such a wonderful fit, look.

Here, look, see?

- And of course, it's just the one dress

in the whole of London for you.

I mean, it couldn't be more you, could it?

Let's face it, it is you.

- Oh, but I wasn't thinking of it for this lady.

It was for another lady, see?

And it wouldn't do for her at all.

I can't imagine this at the chapel social.

No.

- Did you like me in that dress, Dai?

- Not half.

You looked lovely.

- It fitted perfectly too, didn't it?

Well, what shall we go and do now?

Anything else you'd like to see?

- No.

Couldn't we go somewhere quiet, like?

Just you and me, on our ownsome, see?

- We could go and have a cup of tea at my flat.

If it's not too far, I mean.

- Then what are we waiting for?

Now, this is what I call cosy.

Where's this picture of?

The one over the fire.

Switzerland.

I cut it out of a magazine at the hairdressers.

- Looks a bit like Mynyddymarchog,

only Mynyddymarchog's green.

- What is, your valley?

No, Mynyddymarchog.

It's a mountain back home.

- Oh.

Tell me about your home.

- Oh, tidy little house we've got.

And a tidy little place is our ward.

Plenty going on, you know.

You'd like it.

- Would I?

- Aye, you'd like the mountain.

Old Mynyddymarchog.

Rises right up into the clouds,

straight out of our backyard.

Grand place for weddings up on the top there.

- Hmm, sounds lovely.

Fish somewhere?

- Twm and I go up the river for trout,

early on a Sunday, before chapel.

That's when you hear the lark.

Say, there's glory for you,

when he's singing in the morning.

Jo!

Hey Jo, what is it?

What's the matter?

- Don't look at me like that, Dai.

Oh, you'll have me coming back to Hafod-whatsit with you.

- Well, there's an idea.

Why don't you come?

Come tonight.

- I was only joking, Dai.

- Were you?

What about it now?

Tomorrow morning, we could be home,

walking up from the station,

you and me and Twm.

- It's a pipe dream, Dai.

- But why is it?

I've got the money for your fare and everything.

- Well, that would be wonderful, but, er,

well, I can't just leave like that.

Tonight.

- Oh, I see.

Well then, I've got it.

I'll leave the money with you,

and you come on when you can.

- You're very sweet, Dai.

I shall get much too fond of you,

if I don't look out.

- Now look here, mister.

I'm not complaining, mind,

but I've been chucked out of your office,

I've missed the match,

I've had to pawn my da's gold watch,

and I've lost a brother.

And if it's the same to you,

I'd like you to start finding him, see?

'Cause him and that gold watch

have got to catch the 0:25, see?

- A very funny position you could be in.

Claim for damages, I shouldn't wonder.

- There's no need to take that tone.

- Well, look where we are.

Come on, time for a quick one.

- Quite, Jane, quite, but have you got the address?

- I was to have done a story on her.

Yes, here it is, wait a minute.

Suffolk Gardens.

Oh blow, the number's torn off.

- Very well, number something, Suffolk Gardens.

- Oh, what's going on?

- That girl with the Welsh miner, she's a wrong 'un.

But out Mr. Whimple's on the trail.

Well done Whimple, that's the stuff.

He who protects his prize winners, eh?

The other brother?

- Sitting safe in my car right this moment, sir.

- Two pints of biter please, guv'nor.

- And a couple of large gins with that.

- Oh well, goodnight all.

- Hey, hey, that's my hat.

- No, it's my hat.

- Made a mistake, man, my hat.

- Oh well, give me mine.

- Leave it alone, that's my hat.

- Hey, which is your hat?

- Don't be daft, man, give him his hat.

- I haven't got his hat, he's a liar.

- Who are you calling a liar?

- Excuse me.

Does a young lady called Jo live here?

- Yes, I'm Jo.

- You'll have to leave me your address.

And we'll pick out the best train.

- Right.

- Oh, and be sure you're at the station to meet me.

I'll only get lost in the jungle.

- I'll be there.

- You don't sound very enthusiastic.

You're going back on your invitation?

- No, no, of course not.

- Oh, I'll have a wonderful time.

Is there cinema?

- Yes, we go every Friday.

- You and your brother?

Gone all strong and silent?

- Clock right?

- Plenty of time, what's the matter?

- Perhaps it was a pipe dream, Jo, like you said.

It wouldn't really work, you know,

your coming back to Hafod.

- A few minutes ago you were all for my coming.

Now you say it won't work.

Why won't it?

Why won't it?

- Well, it wouldn't be fair in the first place.

See, there's Bron.

- Oh, you've remembered her all of a sudden have you?

- Yes.

You know, Jo, you're the sort of girl

that blots everything out of a fellow's mind,

for the time being.

- Ha, for the time being?

Thanks very much.

- You're so lovely, you see.

But Jo, I...

- Get out.

Do you hear me? Get out!

- Okay.

I'm sorry.

Don't be an idiot.

I didn't mean it, Dai.

I was disappointed, I lost my temper.

No, no, no, no.

Come and help me to wash up,

and then we'll get going, eh?

- No hard feelings?

Really?

- Course not.

Oh, we can't let you spoil

your best Sunday go to meeting.

There. - Oh, thank you.

- Here, I'll tie it for you.

There you are.

Wow, you could always get a job as a nippy, couldn't you?

My dear, that's the one apron

in the whole of London for you.

But it couldn't be more you, could it?

Well let's face it, it is you.

Well, I'll go and get the cups.

Oh, you have to let the water run a bit

before it'll get hot.

Jo.

- Damn.

Coming.

Is the water hot yet?

- That dress you tried on.

The one they called, um...

- Love on the Dole?

Take this.

- Well, I'd like you to have it.

You looked a proper picture in it.

Did I?

Really?

- The young lady said that it might have been made for you.

- I'll bet she says that to all the girls.

Anyhow, it wasn't.

Was it?

- Well, I want you to have it.

Something to remember me by.

- Ha.

Just like a taffy.

Never open-handed till the shops are shut.

- Well, I know they are.

But it doesn't matter, I'll give you the money, see?

I'll give you the money now.

- No time for washing up after all.

- Oh, but you said that-

- Oh, we'll talk about it as we go along, here we are.

- Yes, but look, I wanted-

- Oh, you can't go out with that thing on, can you?

- But look, I want to give you the money-

- Well, you can give it to me at the station.

- No time for anything all of a sudden.

- There's time for this.

- The creep!

- What in the name of goodness do you think you're doing?

- Am I in time?

- Plenty, the train's 0:25.

- That girl!

- What about her?

- Nothing but a confidence trickster.

Where's your money?

- Well, here.

What did I tell you?

- No, no, let her go.

- But your brother's money.

- Oh aye, Twm's!

Two and three only.

Hey!

Sorry sir, get your ticket please.

- How much?

- Two and three only.

- Get a ticket sir please.

- Righto then.

Sorry, house full, queuing all parts.

♪ Millions of hearts have been broken ♪

♪ Just because these words were spoken ♪

♪ I love you, yes I do ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ If you break my heart, I'll die ♪

♪ So be sure it's true ♪

♪ When you say I love you ♪

♪ It's a sin ♪

♪ To tell ♪

♪ A lie ♪

- Twm!

Twm!

♪ Oh fear not if sad, thy dreaming ♪

♪ All through the night ♪

♪ All through the night ♪

- Oo, hark at her.

♪ Time will come to thee at morning ♪

♪ Light will shine with hope of morning ♪

♪ Hopes and dreams may give a warning ♪

♪ All through the night ♪

- One at two and three, sir.

- And so, ladies and gentlemen, I have great pleasure

in presenting these valuable, er, er,

handsome boxes of cigars.

- Cigars?

Never use 'em.

- Do you want it?

- Course.

- I have great pleasure- - Mr. Jones, your train.

- Ah, there you are.

- Hey, where you been all this time?

- Giving us the slip like that.

- What about my watch?

There's not much time.

- Come on then.

There's only cigars here.

Where's Dai?

- He was here a minute ago.

Where's the girl?

- Oh!

- Shut.

- My da's gold watch!

This gentleman's got the money.

- Closed, I tell you.

But I got to catch my train!

- Dai, Dai, let me explain.

- It's a bit late for that, isn't it?

- I saw you, you dirty bag snatcher!

- You!

- Come on, Jo!

- Huw, look at the time, man.

Come on, man, come on, come on.

- £2210.

- Gentleman's paying.

- Stop!

Stop, thief!

- My harp!

My lovely harp!

- Talk to him!

- If your rotten window's damaged my harp...

- Help, help!

Smash and grab, police!

Nine nine nine!

Stop that man!

- I beg your pardon, boy Bach.

Am I on the right route for Paddington?

- Yes, straight on.

Ta.

Twm, Twm!

- Come on!

Here, give her to me.

This way.

Hey you!

Stop, hey!

Stop!

Stop!

Stop, thief!

Stop, thief!

Stop, stop!

Stop!

Stop him!

- Hey! - Hey!

Where you been? - Give us the hat!

- Come on!

Stop those men!

Hey, stop thief!

Bag snatcher!

He's got that lady's handbag!

Get him out, get him off, stop!

Hey, stop thief!

Bag snatcher!

- Oh no you don't!

- Well done Twm.

There goes your hundred quid.

- Goodbye, taffy dear.

- Oh for crying out loud, what did you want to do that for?

- I don't know.

- You rotten little crook.

- Nevermind, Barney.

I won't do it again.

It was worth it anyhow.

- It's no good.

It's no good, I saw you grab it.

- You can't arrest me, officer.

I'm a gentleman of the press.

- You're not trying to tell me it was your bag, are you?

- No, of course not, but the money in it.

- Oh, I see.

It was your money, was it?

- Well, no, it wasn't exactly, but...

- Not your bag, and not your money.

- I can explain everything, really I can.

Oh, where are they?

- Where's who?

- Nevermind, officer, nevermind.

Have you a nice quiet cell

where I could write my story in peace?

- Well, the next thing is who can tell us about the match?

- Aye.

Let's get our story straight.

Well damn, what about poor old Huw?

We never even said goodbye to him.

- Home.

- Hey!

- Oh!