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- Subs by kinglouisxx -
for www.addic7ed.com
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00:00:03,648 --> 00:00:06,149
Everybody bring their stuff
for Louise's care package?
3
00:00:06,282 --> 00:00:10,061
Sure did. I got her all
the COVID recovery essentials...
4
00:00:10,086 --> 00:00:12,698
immunity booster shots, vitamin C,
5
00:00:12,723 --> 00:00:14,567
garlic, some herbal tea...
6
00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:16,703
Ooh, these teas are nice.
7
00:00:16,790 --> 00:00:18,224
How about I keep them for myself
8
00:00:18,357 --> 00:00:21,627
and replace them with an even
better immunity booster...
9
00:00:21,761 --> 00:00:24,497
a shot of laughter from Dr. Adam Sandler
10
00:00:24,630 --> 00:00:26,967
in the somehow-overlooked-
during-awards-season,
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00:00:27,099 --> 00:00:29,269
"Jack and Jill"?
12
00:00:29,401 --> 00:00:33,139
And as a bonus, "Doctor Zhivago"...
13
00:00:33,271 --> 00:00:35,541
disc two.
14
00:00:35,675 --> 00:00:37,143
Oh, we don't want her straining her eyes
15
00:00:37,276 --> 00:00:38,444
on these crossword puzzles.
16
00:00:38,578 --> 00:00:41,047
What she really needs
is something for the ears.
17
00:00:41,179 --> 00:00:43,749
The Bible... on CD.
18
00:00:43,883 --> 00:00:47,352
I was shopping in a hurry.
I thought it said Bubl�.
19
00:00:47,487 --> 00:00:49,889
Okay, this is crazy.
20
00:00:50,021 --> 00:00:51,857
I have "Doctor Zhivago," disc one,
21
00:00:51,990 --> 00:00:54,493
and I've been dying to see how it ends.
22
00:00:54,627 --> 00:00:57,297
Louise has COVID, ya hillbilly pirates.
23
00:00:57,429 --> 00:00:58,798
Everybody put everything back.
24
00:00:58,932 --> 00:01:00,633
Oh.
25
00:01:00,767 --> 00:01:04,737
Although she doesn't really need
"Jack and Jill."
26
00:01:06,306 --> 00:01:09,741
Did you know Sandler plays
the brother and the sister?
27
00:01:09,875 --> 00:01:13,112
Yes, Dad. And it only took you
three times to figure it out
28
00:01:13,246 --> 00:01:16,148
because he's "that good."
29
00:01:16,282 --> 00:01:19,218
Ugh, you're such an elitist.
30
00:01:19,351 --> 00:01:22,721
When your beloved
Sir Anthony Hopkins plays twins,
31
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let me know.
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00:01:24,690 --> 00:01:27,360
All right, is this everything?
'Cause I gotta go.
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00:01:27,494 --> 00:01:29,629
After I stop at Louise's,
I'm gonna close
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00:01:29,762 --> 00:01:32,565
the biggest lumber deal
the hardware store's ever had.
35
00:01:32,697 --> 00:01:35,000
Wow. Ben must be thrilled.
36
00:01:35,134 --> 00:01:36,269
How'd you manage that?
37
00:01:36,402 --> 00:01:39,104
I've been doing business
with my contractor buddies.
38
00:01:39,238 --> 00:01:40,505
They like getting personal service
39
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,042
instead of what they get
at the big box places.
40
00:01:43,175 --> 00:01:44,776
Wow. That is fantastic.
41
00:01:44,910 --> 00:01:47,078
Well, before you ask
for a raise, let me know.
42
00:01:47,212 --> 00:01:49,249
I am willing to sleep with your boss.
43
00:01:51,283 --> 00:01:53,485
You don't think it's too early
to ask for a raise?
44
00:01:53,619 --> 00:01:57,223
No. Ben talks about how lucky
he is to have you all the time.
45
00:01:57,356 --> 00:02:00,693
Just like I'm sure he tells you
how lucky he is to have me.
46
00:02:04,464 --> 00:02:06,399
Anyhoo...
47
00:02:06,532 --> 00:02:09,502
Uh, you just said you're making
him a ton more money, right?
48
00:02:09,634 --> 00:02:11,971
Yeah, I-I've... I've pretty much
doubled the business
49
00:02:12,103 --> 00:02:13,405
in the last month.
50
00:02:13,539 --> 00:02:15,775
I think it's a little early
to be asking for a raise.
51
00:02:15,907 --> 00:02:19,144
No. Come on... You guys make a
great team, and Ben knows that.
52
00:02:19,279 --> 00:02:21,347
Look, don't tell him I said this,
53
00:02:21,479 --> 00:02:23,916
but he is not gonna
take a chance on losing you.
54
00:02:24,049 --> 00:02:27,085
You know what? You're absolutely right.
55
00:02:27,218 --> 00:02:29,322
I'm the golden goose.
56
00:02:29,454 --> 00:02:32,357
Yeah, and everything the goose
touches turns to gold.
57
00:02:32,491 --> 00:02:35,093
No. That's King Midas.
58
00:02:35,227 --> 00:02:36,229
You're thinking about
59
00:02:36,362 --> 00:02:38,430
when the Jewish people
wandered in the desert
60
00:02:38,563 --> 00:02:41,834
and worshipped the golden goose,
and Moses got mad
61
00:02:41,967 --> 00:02:45,536
and told them to cut it out.
62
00:02:45,670 --> 00:02:47,205
That was the golden calf.
63
00:02:47,339 --> 00:02:51,377
Here. You can brush up on that
story with the Holy Bubl�.
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00:02:53,012 --> 00:02:58,146
3x13 - Money, Booze And Lies
65
00:03:30,282 --> 00:03:32,518
You'll never guess who just called me.
66
00:03:32,651 --> 00:03:34,319
Mike Withers.
67
00:03:34,453 --> 00:03:36,121
Oh, my God.
68
00:03:36,255 --> 00:03:38,191
Mikey from high school?
69
00:03:38,323 --> 00:03:40,258
You guys dissected that cat together.
70
00:03:40,392 --> 00:03:41,561
Yeah, that's him.
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00:03:41,694 --> 00:03:44,163
You were in biology class, right?
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00:03:44,297 --> 00:03:45,365
Of course.
73
00:03:45,497 --> 00:03:47,499
Continue.
74
00:03:47,632 --> 00:03:49,768
Mikey was Becky's main competition
75
00:03:49,901 --> 00:03:51,370
in her honors classes.
76
00:03:51,503 --> 00:03:52,937
What's he up to now?
77
00:03:53,072 --> 00:03:54,340
Mr. 4.1?
78
00:03:54,473 --> 00:03:56,476
He did his undergrad at Northwestern
79
00:03:56,608 --> 00:03:59,678
and got his masters in
Civil Engineering at Stanford.
80
00:03:59,811 --> 00:04:02,380
Wow. Did you tell him
you majored in alcoholism
81
00:04:02,514 --> 00:04:05,851
and got your masters in unprotected sex?
82
00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:09,422
My drinking problem never came up.
83
00:04:09,555 --> 00:04:12,658
He did ask about you, though.
He wondered if you were in jail.
84
00:04:12,792 --> 00:04:14,060
Why would I be in jail?
85
00:04:14,192 --> 00:04:16,062
He remembered how you rode David's ass
86
00:04:16,194 --> 00:04:17,562
up and down the halls in high school
87
00:04:17,695 --> 00:04:19,897
and assumed you killed him.
88
00:04:20,031 --> 00:04:21,300
Oh, great. Now he's gonna come to town
89
00:04:21,433 --> 00:04:24,136
and realize I don't have
any follow-through.
90
00:04:24,269 --> 00:04:26,238
He asked me to dinner,
but I'm gonna pass.
91
00:04:26,372 --> 00:04:27,240
Why?
92
00:04:27,372 --> 00:04:28,675
It could be fun catching up.
93
00:04:28,807 --> 00:04:30,041
Nah.
94
00:04:30,175 --> 00:04:32,777
His imagination
is better than the reality.
95
00:04:32,911 --> 00:04:34,613
I'd rather keep the illusion
96
00:04:34,747 --> 00:04:38,417
that I'm too busy to post on
Instagram because I'm a success,
97
00:04:38,550 --> 00:04:39,786
not because I got kicked off
98
00:04:39,918 --> 00:04:43,555
for liking too many photos
of Elizabeth Warren.
99
00:04:43,690 --> 00:04:46,658
You should go and just be proud
of who you are.
100
00:04:46,791 --> 00:04:48,928
Successful people like
being around failures.
101
00:04:49,062 --> 00:04:51,764
Think about how you feel around D.J.
102
00:04:51,897 --> 00:04:53,598
Oh, don't listen to her.
103
00:04:53,733 --> 00:04:56,668
You show up looking great, and
he'll think you're a success.
104
00:04:56,803 --> 00:04:58,103
We could go down to that place
105
00:04:58,238 --> 00:05:01,139
that gives homeless people
good clothes for job interviews,
106
00:05:01,272 --> 00:05:03,207
and then you can go
to the beauty school,
107
00:05:03,341 --> 00:05:04,509
get your hair done.
108
00:05:04,644 --> 00:05:07,280
I guess that could be fun.
109
00:05:07,413 --> 00:05:10,115
And it'd be really nice
to be someone else for a night.
110
00:05:10,248 --> 00:05:12,884
I was somebody else
for a couple of weeks once.
111
00:05:13,017 --> 00:05:14,920
It wasn't so much a choice as...
112
00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:18,757
you know, a psychotic break.
113
00:05:20,158 --> 00:05:22,428
Okay. Here you go.
114
00:05:22,562 --> 00:05:25,264
Breakfast for dinner, as promised.
115
00:05:25,397 --> 00:05:27,433
It's vegan sausage.
116
00:05:30,403 --> 00:05:33,973
It tastes like I'm chewing
a salty rubber band.
117
00:05:34,024 --> 00:05:35,391
Look, it's too late
118
00:05:35,423 --> 00:05:37,291
for all these other
meat-eating heathens here,
119
00:05:37,409 --> 00:05:39,077
but you can start eating healthy.
120
00:05:39,211 --> 00:05:41,880
It's made from all plants,
and it tastes exactly the same.
121
00:05:42,014 --> 00:05:45,317
Trust me, it doesn't.
122
00:05:45,451 --> 00:05:46,652
I'm gonna go watch TV.
123
00:05:46,786 --> 00:05:49,154
I'll go with you. Here's a tip...
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00:05:49,288 --> 00:05:52,124
Don't hassle
the person cooking your food.
125
00:05:52,257 --> 00:05:55,461
She's gonna do worse than this?
126
00:05:55,594 --> 00:05:58,630
Oh, hello, poor people.
127
00:05:58,764 --> 00:06:00,733
I come from an alternate reality
128
00:06:00,867 --> 00:06:04,136
where Conners are rich and successful.
129
00:06:04,269 --> 00:06:06,437
I'm here to tell you
you're doing everything wrong.
130
00:06:09,642 --> 00:06:11,110
You look great.
131
00:06:11,243 --> 00:06:12,745
You love me.
132
00:06:12,879 --> 00:06:14,213
What does Darlene think?
133
00:06:14,346 --> 00:06:17,850
You look so rich,
I want to key your Bentley.
134
00:06:17,983 --> 00:06:21,521
Thank you. I know that was
very hard for you to say.
135
00:06:21,654 --> 00:06:23,988
Now, I will see you before midnight.
136
00:06:24,122 --> 00:06:25,591
That's when my magic carriage
137
00:06:25,725 --> 00:06:28,461
turns back into a pickup
with expired tags.
138
00:06:31,130 --> 00:06:33,332
All right. We're all set, Dan.
139
00:06:33,466 --> 00:06:35,735
Tell your buddy the lumber order
will be there at 6:00.
140
00:06:35,868 --> 00:06:37,803
Fantastic!
141
00:06:37,937 --> 00:06:40,206
Hey, uh, before we eat,
I just want to take a moment
142
00:06:40,339 --> 00:06:43,108
to thank Dan for killing it at work.
143
00:06:43,242 --> 00:06:45,944
Man, it's like you were born
to work in a hardware store.
144
00:06:46,077 --> 00:06:47,478
Now, that's not always a compliment,
145
00:06:47,613 --> 00:06:49,514
but in this case, it really is.
146
00:06:49,647 --> 00:06:51,349
Thank you!
147
00:06:51,483 --> 00:06:54,486
It's so nice to have a boss
that appreciates you.
148
00:06:54,620 --> 00:06:57,790
Since I mostly used to work
for myself, I can honestly say
149
00:06:57,923 --> 00:07:01,626
that I'm a cheap bastard who
never paid me what I was worth.
150
00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:03,895
Well, your loss is Ben's gain.
151
00:07:04,029 --> 00:07:06,698
He couldn't have done this without you.
152
00:07:06,832 --> 00:07:09,300
You know, I just had a funny thought.
153
00:07:09,435 --> 00:07:11,737
If you married my daughter,
it would be hilarious
154
00:07:11,870 --> 00:07:14,940
to have a sign out front
that said, "Olinsky and Dad."
155
00:07:15,074 --> 00:07:17,977
I don't know.
I kind of like the sign we have.
156
00:07:18,110 --> 00:07:20,479
It's shorter.
157
00:07:20,611 --> 00:07:23,348
I'm kidding. I don't really care
what the sign says.
158
00:07:23,483 --> 00:07:26,386
But I am serious about being a partner.
159
00:07:26,519 --> 00:07:27,720
A partner?
160
00:07:27,853 --> 00:07:28,888
Wow.
161
00:07:29,021 --> 00:07:31,257
You're really catching me
off-guard here.
162
00:07:31,391 --> 00:07:33,492
You know, what I think
my dad is trying to say
163
00:07:33,625 --> 00:07:35,960
is that he just deserves
some recognition
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00:07:36,094 --> 00:07:37,462
for all the business he brought in,
165
00:07:37,596 --> 00:07:39,598
even if that's just a raise. Right, Dad?
166
00:07:39,731 --> 00:07:41,767
No. I've been thinking about it,
167
00:07:41,899 --> 00:07:44,202
and at the rate
I'm growing this business,
168
00:07:44,336 --> 00:07:48,073
I think a 25% ownership stake
is not unreasonable.
169
00:07:48,206 --> 00:07:49,474
Whoa. That's weird,
170
00:07:49,608 --> 00:07:51,677
'cause I think
it's totally unreasonable.
171
00:07:51,810 --> 00:07:53,446
You've only been working there
for two months.
172
00:07:53,579 --> 00:07:55,547
Two months, and I've already
doubled your business.
173
00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,448
All right, well, we don't
need to settle this now.
174
00:07:57,582 --> 00:07:59,517
The vegan sausage is getting cold.
175
00:07:59,651 --> 00:08:01,853
Heat really is the only thing
it's got going for it.
176
00:08:01,988 --> 00:08:04,490
I'm 68! I'm not gonna have time
177
00:08:04,623 --> 00:08:07,459
to spend 10 years
waiting for a promotion.
178
00:08:07,593 --> 00:08:09,461
Well, I am sorry that you're old,
179
00:08:09,594 --> 00:08:11,329
but that doesn't mean
that I have to give you
180
00:08:11,464 --> 00:08:14,132
a piece of the business
my father gave me.
181
00:08:14,267 --> 00:08:17,536
Without me, in six months,
that place'll be a parking lot!
182
00:08:17,670 --> 00:08:20,271
All right, you know what?
I'm not going there with you again.
183
00:08:20,406 --> 00:08:22,975
Just because you ran your
businesses into the ground
184
00:08:23,108 --> 00:08:26,045
doesn't mean that I have to
make it right for you!
185
00:08:27,980 --> 00:08:30,249
Dad, we talked about a raise!
186
00:08:30,382 --> 00:08:32,384
That's like a couple bucks more an hour.
187
00:08:32,518 --> 00:08:35,521
Maybe a personalized mug
in the break room. All right?
188
00:08:35,654 --> 00:08:37,889
Why are you trying to better
your life with my boyfriend?
189
00:08:38,024 --> 00:08:41,494
Hasn't worked for me,
not gonna work for you.
190
00:08:45,656 --> 00:08:48,157
Hey. How you doing?
191
00:08:48,291 --> 00:08:50,027
Well, I've cooled down.
192
00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:53,210
I may have reacted a little impulsively.
193
00:08:53,263 --> 00:08:55,678
Well, it's partly my fault.
194
00:08:55,741 --> 00:08:57,742
I told him that he deserved a raise,
195
00:08:57,882 --> 00:08:59,903
and I should have left
well-enough alone.
196
00:08:59,928 --> 00:09:02,233
I mean, he wasn't gonna
ask for anything.
197
00:09:02,351 --> 00:09:03,772
Oh, give yourself a little credit.
198
00:09:03,804 --> 00:09:06,073
I think that makes it
entirely your fault.
199
00:09:06,207 --> 00:09:10,386
Hey, I had no idea he was gonna
ask for a piece of the store.
200
00:09:10,411 --> 00:09:13,102
Well, yeah, but we're
supposed to be a team.
201
00:09:13,235 --> 00:09:14,669
If you thought he needed a raise,
202
00:09:14,803 --> 00:09:16,337
you should have just talked to me.
203
00:09:16,478 --> 00:09:18,304
I know that now.
204
00:09:20,519 --> 00:09:25,457
Look, you know that my dad and I
had a lousy relationship.
205
00:09:25,590 --> 00:09:29,428
My only real connection to him
was through that store.
206
00:09:31,870 --> 00:09:35,533
I remember when I was little
and he'd sit me on the counter
207
00:09:35,558 --> 00:09:37,494
and let me play with all the tools.
208
00:09:37,586 --> 00:09:39,421
And then when I got older,
209
00:09:39,473 --> 00:09:41,208
he told me to tell
all the kids at school
210
00:09:41,341 --> 00:09:43,143
that I knew how to make keys.
211
00:09:43,277 --> 00:09:46,513
I did, and it got me so much sex.
212
00:09:46,647 --> 00:09:48,816
- Really?
- No.
213
00:09:48,950 --> 00:09:50,017
I was alone all the time,
214
00:09:50,152 --> 00:09:51,652
and I learned how to play the harmonica.
215
00:09:52,887 --> 00:09:54,189
Yeah, now it all makes sense.
216
00:09:54,321 --> 00:09:56,423
Sometimes when you kiss me, you inhale.
217
00:09:58,892 --> 00:10:01,095
My dad loved that store.
218
00:10:01,229 --> 00:10:04,232
Even when business was bad,
he turned down investors,
219
00:10:04,365 --> 00:10:07,234
and he turned down offers
from big chains.
220
00:10:07,368 --> 00:10:12,039
And he did whatever he had to do
to keep it in the family.
221
00:10:12,172 --> 00:10:14,041
So...
222
00:10:14,175 --> 00:10:17,611
if I gave away a piece of it...
223
00:10:17,744 --> 00:10:20,547
I can pretty much hear him saying,
224
00:10:20,681 --> 00:10:23,251
"I trusted you with something important,
225
00:10:23,383 --> 00:10:26,153
and you disappointed me again."
226
00:10:27,522 --> 00:10:30,358
I know it sounds ridiculous, but...
227
00:10:33,394 --> 00:10:36,797
...I just want him
to be proud of me once.
228
00:10:36,931 --> 00:10:39,633
It's not ridiculous.
229
00:10:41,368 --> 00:10:42,702
I'm proud of you, Ben.
230
00:10:42,727 --> 00:10:43,740
Oh, my God.
231
00:10:43,765 --> 00:10:45,739
Did you hear that?
I think it's your dad.
232
00:10:45,764 --> 00:10:47,432
He's here.
233
00:10:47,675 --> 00:10:51,979
So, you think my dad sounded
like a "Scooby-Doo" villain?
234
00:10:52,113 --> 00:10:53,613
You don't know what he sounds like dead.
235
00:11:00,421 --> 00:11:03,923
- Hey, Mikey Withers!
- Oh, wow!
236
00:11:04,057 --> 00:11:05,258
Becky Conner.
237
00:11:05,392 --> 00:11:07,360
- You haven't changed.
- Neither have you.
238
00:11:07,494 --> 00:11:09,296
You were bald in high school,
weren't you?
239
00:11:09,430 --> 00:11:10,531
Oh.
240
00:11:10,663 --> 00:11:13,734
All right. All right.
I see how this is gonna go.
241
00:11:13,868 --> 00:11:15,268
You somehow got blonder.
242
00:11:15,402 --> 00:11:17,872
Oh, I spend a lot of time in the sun.
243
00:11:18,006 --> 00:11:19,607
Walking to the drugstore to get bleach.
244
00:11:21,508 --> 00:11:24,475
I guess we both tested negative
for COVID, so we can hug, right?
245
00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:26,046
Absolutely.
246
00:11:26,180 --> 00:11:28,416
Oh, it's so great to see you.
247
00:11:28,549 --> 00:11:30,952
- You, too.
- So many good times.
248
00:11:31,085 --> 00:11:33,820
Oh, do you remember when we cut class
249
00:11:33,955 --> 00:11:36,958
to go to the Pink Floyd laser
light show at the planetarium?
250
00:11:37,090 --> 00:11:40,193
We were the only people there
who weren't high.
251
00:11:40,328 --> 00:11:41,929
We were just into lasers.
252
00:11:42,061 --> 00:11:43,363
- Nerd.
- Nerd.
253
00:11:44,964 --> 00:11:47,301
You know, I just realized
that the last time I saw you,
254
00:11:47,434 --> 00:11:50,271
you were going off to start
college early in Minnesota.
255
00:11:50,405 --> 00:11:52,607
Oh, right. College. Yeah.
256
00:11:52,740 --> 00:11:54,307
I lived in the library.
257
00:11:54,441 --> 00:11:56,510
If I could go back in time
and tell younger Becky,
258
00:11:56,643 --> 00:11:59,080
I would say, "Get your nose
out of that physics book
259
00:11:59,213 --> 00:12:00,414
and go have some fun."
260
00:12:00,546 --> 00:12:01,682
That sounds like you.
261
00:12:01,815 --> 00:12:03,517
Where'd you do your post grad?
262
00:12:03,651 --> 00:12:05,786
At a little private school.
263
00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:08,122
In Denmark.
264
00:12:08,254 --> 00:12:09,790
What's it called?
265
00:12:17,831 --> 00:12:21,335
Have you ever heard of Vasterflagen?
266
00:12:21,469 --> 00:12:22,369
No.
267
00:12:22,503 --> 00:12:24,605
Nobody has.
268
00:12:24,738 --> 00:12:27,941
You don't apply. They find you.
269
00:12:28,075 --> 00:12:30,009
So, I did a little cyber-stalking,
270
00:12:30,143 --> 00:12:32,879
and you've done very well
for yourself, too.
271
00:12:33,013 --> 00:12:34,648
You're a civil engineer?
272
00:12:34,782 --> 00:12:37,785
Well, I sometimes lose my
temper, but I try to be civil.
273
00:12:37,917 --> 00:12:40,019
Wow.
274
00:12:40,153 --> 00:12:43,524
So, it must be really cool
to have your own firm, right?
275
00:12:43,657 --> 00:12:44,825
I do okay.
276
00:12:44,959 --> 00:12:48,628
But I actually owe
a lot of my success to you.
277
00:12:48,762 --> 00:12:50,598
- Really?
- Yeah.
278
00:12:50,732 --> 00:12:52,600
In school, you were my pace car.
279
00:12:52,733 --> 00:12:54,635
I just wanted to be
as smart as Becky Conner.
280
00:12:54,768 --> 00:12:57,037
I busted my ass to keep up with you.
281
00:12:57,171 --> 00:13:00,407
Well... congratulations.
282
00:13:00,541 --> 00:13:02,642
I think you've done that and more.
283
00:13:02,777 --> 00:13:04,546
That's enough about me.
284
00:13:04,679 --> 00:13:07,081
I want to hear what you've been up to.
285
00:13:07,214 --> 00:13:09,084
I'm in the restaurant game.
286
00:13:09,216 --> 00:13:11,317
Is it a chain?
Is it something I've heard of?
287
00:13:11,451 --> 00:13:12,653
Not yet.
288
00:13:12,786 --> 00:13:14,555
Not in this country.
289
00:13:14,687 --> 00:13:17,657
Uh, my aunt and I
started one in Lanford,
290
00:13:17,791 --> 00:13:19,392
and I took the reins and expanded it,
291
00:13:19,527 --> 00:13:24,064
and now I mostly deal
in franchises and, um,
292
00:13:24,197 --> 00:13:29,336
supporting the, uh, corporate
direction of the company.
293
00:13:29,469 --> 00:13:32,138
Well, your folks must be
really proud of you.
294
00:13:32,272 --> 00:13:34,807
Yeah.
295
00:13:34,941 --> 00:13:40,147
The best part is, I was able
to pay off my dad's house.
296
00:13:40,281 --> 00:13:43,318
He's retired now, and...
297
00:13:43,450 --> 00:13:45,786
all he does is fish and drink beer.
298
00:13:46,954 --> 00:13:49,089
Just couldn't be happier.
299
00:13:49,223 --> 00:13:54,829
And I have a baby
whose future is secure.
300
00:13:54,961 --> 00:13:58,197
So, yeah...
301
00:13:58,331 --> 00:14:00,434
life couldn't be better.
302
00:14:00,567 --> 00:14:01,701
Hey.
303
00:14:01,835 --> 00:14:03,937
Don't be embarrassed to get emotional.
304
00:14:04,070 --> 00:14:06,173
I felt the same way
when I helped my family.
305
00:14:07,675 --> 00:14:09,376
Okay.
306
00:14:09,509 --> 00:14:12,813
So, I remembered
how much you loved wine coolers
307
00:14:12,946 --> 00:14:14,047
back in high school,
308
00:14:14,181 --> 00:14:17,252
so I figured you graduated
to a nice Sancerre.
309
00:14:19,854 --> 00:14:21,455
Thank you.
310
00:14:21,589 --> 00:14:22,856
To us.
311
00:14:22,989 --> 00:14:25,392
To becoming the people
we were meant to be.
312
00:14:29,796 --> 00:14:31,365
To us.
313
00:14:35,668 --> 00:14:38,038
Mmm.
314
00:14:38,172 --> 00:14:39,306
Okay.
315
00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:41,308
Oh! Look at this dessert.
316
00:14:41,441 --> 00:14:43,911
A double chocolate souffl� volcano.
317
00:14:44,045 --> 00:14:45,079
What do you say?
318
00:14:45,213 --> 00:14:47,515
We can be bad for one night, right?
319
00:14:48,883 --> 00:14:50,316
Sure. What the hell.
320
00:14:59,206 --> 00:15:01,214
Ooh, I'm starved. What's for breakfast?
321
00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:03,066
Tuna salad sandwich.
322
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:06,290
We had bacon and sausage
for dinner last night.
323
00:15:06,424 --> 00:15:08,125
Why didn't we just switch them around?
324
00:15:08,259 --> 00:15:11,629
Sausage was about to go bad.
Tuna expires tomorrow.
325
00:15:11,763 --> 00:15:14,865
We don't make the deadlines,
we just live by them.
326
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,000
Oh, good. The tuna.
327
00:15:17,071 --> 00:15:20,008
I could hear the can ticking
in the pantry.
328
00:15:20,141 --> 00:15:21,677
Hard pass.
329
00:15:23,378 --> 00:15:24,946
Look, I know you're still upset
330
00:15:25,079 --> 00:15:28,084
about Ben not wanting to give
you a piece of the store.
331
00:15:28,217 --> 00:15:31,087
You're damn right I am.
Having a piece of that store
332
00:15:31,220 --> 00:15:33,755
is the only chance I have
of making some real money.
333
00:15:33,890 --> 00:15:35,723
Louise and I aren't getting any younger.
334
00:15:35,858 --> 00:15:37,026
If I have a few dollars,
335
00:15:37,159 --> 00:15:40,363
she can quit serving old drunks
at Casita Bonita.
336
00:15:40,496 --> 00:15:41,965
Oh, that's sweet. Then she'll just have
337
00:15:42,098 --> 00:15:44,534
one old drunk to serve.
338
00:15:44,666 --> 00:15:47,869
You just don't get
how hard this is on Ben, though.
339
00:15:48,003 --> 00:15:49,370
If he gives up a piece of the store,
340
00:15:49,505 --> 00:15:51,474
it's like he's letting his father down.
341
00:15:51,608 --> 00:15:53,709
Because of me, the store's
making a go of it.
342
00:15:53,843 --> 00:15:55,645
How is that letting his father down?
343
00:15:55,777 --> 00:15:56,978
He's like a little kid
344
00:15:57,112 --> 00:15:58,915
that's still trying
to get his dad's approval.
345
00:15:59,047 --> 00:16:02,751
He's a grown man.
I'm sorry he's got daddy issues.
346
00:16:02,885 --> 00:16:05,187
I don't have daddy issues.
347
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:06,488
What the hell, Darlene?
348
00:16:06,622 --> 00:16:08,757
You're talking about stuff
that I told you in private?
349
00:16:08,891 --> 00:16:10,660
Well, I-I'm sorry.
I was just trying to explain
350
00:16:10,792 --> 00:16:12,961
how upset you were.
I didn't tell him you cried.
351
00:16:13,095 --> 00:16:16,331
Oh, my God! Will you stop doing that?
352
00:16:16,464 --> 00:16:18,767
You know what? You guys
are both stubborn idiots.
353
00:16:18,901 --> 00:16:21,738
You guys need each other,
and you're too stupid to see it.
354
00:16:21,871 --> 00:16:23,271
I'm not stupid. He's stupid.
355
00:16:23,406 --> 00:16:26,074
- Stupid is as stupid does.
- Oh, really?
356
00:16:26,209 --> 00:16:28,176
You're gonna argue with me
by quoting "Forrest Gump"?
357
00:16:28,310 --> 00:16:30,311
You know, I try to help you out,
give you a job,
358
00:16:30,445 --> 00:16:31,880
and this is how you repay me?
359
00:16:32,015 --> 00:16:33,915
Well, I'm not setting foot
in that damn store
360
00:16:34,050 --> 00:16:35,050
until you do what's right.
361
00:16:35,184 --> 00:16:36,452
Well, if you're not coming into work
362
00:16:36,585 --> 00:16:39,120
unless I give you a piece,
then don't come into work.
363
00:16:39,255 --> 00:16:40,623
Oh, what? Now you're firing me?
364
00:16:40,756 --> 00:16:43,125
No, he's not firing you.
He's giving you a raise.
365
00:16:43,258 --> 00:16:44,426
We're going back to the raise, right?
366
00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:45,828
- That's where it all went wrong.
- No, look,
367
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,529
if you're not coming into work,
then you're quitting.
368
00:16:47,662 --> 00:16:49,498
Well, I'm not quitting,
so I guess you're firing me.
369
00:16:49,632 --> 00:16:51,099
Well, yeah, I guess I'm firing you!
370
00:16:51,233 --> 00:16:52,901
Well, I guess I'm throwing you
out of my house!
371
00:16:53,035 --> 00:16:55,338
Whoa! This has gotten
way out of control.
372
00:16:55,470 --> 00:16:58,073
We do not throw people out.
We just take people in.
373
00:16:58,207 --> 00:16:59,942
No. It's fine, Darlene.
374
00:17:00,075 --> 00:17:01,710
I don't even want to be here anyway.
375
00:17:03,279 --> 00:17:06,082
Dad, I pay rent, too.
You can't just kick him out.
376
00:17:06,215 --> 00:17:07,315
This is still my house.
377
00:17:07,448 --> 00:17:08,950
And if you don't like it,
you can go with him.
378
00:17:09,085 --> 00:17:10,352
Well, I just might.
379
00:17:10,485 --> 00:17:12,153
You know, and I'm gonna
leave Harris with you.
380
00:17:12,287 --> 00:17:14,290
That's how upset I am!
381
00:17:14,423 --> 00:17:17,760
God, why can't I leave this
kitchen without yelling at you?
382
00:17:22,431 --> 00:17:24,098
No, you don't need to leave.
383
00:17:24,233 --> 00:17:25,467
My dad is gonna cool down.
384
00:17:25,601 --> 00:17:27,602
Just stop packing,
and let's talk about it.
385
00:17:27,736 --> 00:17:29,604
Where is my denim shirt?
386
00:17:29,737 --> 00:17:31,106
Uh, it's in the wash.
387
00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:34,476
I wore it, so you might as well
stay until I do laundry.
388
00:17:34,609 --> 00:17:37,280
What? I-I-I wear your shirts
all the time.
389
00:17:37,413 --> 00:17:38,881
You do? Really?
390
00:17:39,014 --> 00:17:41,783
Yeah. We're like the same size.
391
00:17:41,917 --> 00:17:43,519
I don't need this crap.
392
00:17:43,653 --> 00:17:45,887
Look, you don't have to go, all right?
393
00:17:46,021 --> 00:17:48,324
My dad does not make
all the decisions around here.
394
00:17:48,456 --> 00:17:49,491
I pay rent, too.
395
00:17:49,625 --> 00:17:51,492
And I would have given him a raise!
396
00:17:51,627 --> 00:17:53,529
How much more
do I have to give, Darlene?
397
00:17:53,662 --> 00:17:55,465
I mean, we gave up a place of our own
398
00:17:55,598 --> 00:17:58,600
so we could move in here
and help him pay the mortgage.
399
00:17:58,733 --> 00:18:00,869
He needed a job, and I gave him one.
400
00:18:01,003 --> 00:18:03,004
Now, instead of being grateful,
401
00:18:03,137 --> 00:18:05,307
he thanks me
by throwing me out of the house?
402
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,276
Enough is enough.
403
00:18:07,408 --> 00:18:10,044
No, I know, but...
404
00:18:10,178 --> 00:18:11,446
what about us?
405
00:18:11,580 --> 00:18:13,148
I don't want to sleep in bed
without you.
406
00:18:13,282 --> 00:18:14,750
I don't want to live apart from you.
407
00:18:14,884 --> 00:18:17,053
Well, I don't want
to sleep without you, either,
408
00:18:17,185 --> 00:18:18,319
so come with me.
409
00:18:18,454 --> 00:18:19,555
You know, if we pool our money,
410
00:18:19,687 --> 00:18:21,389
we can get a nice little apartment.
411
00:18:21,523 --> 00:18:23,325
How can I move out now?
412
00:18:23,458 --> 00:18:25,993
You fired him,
you're not gonna pay rent,
413
00:18:26,127 --> 00:18:27,195
and then I'm gonna bail?
414
00:18:27,329 --> 00:18:29,499
I can't hang him out to dry like that.
415
00:18:29,631 --> 00:18:31,866
Right.
416
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:35,104
Well, I want to be with you, so...
417
00:18:35,237 --> 00:18:38,106
whenever you figure out
what you want, let me know.
418
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:39,541
Where are you going?
419
00:18:39,675 --> 00:18:42,645
Well, right now, I am gonna go
sleep at the hardware store.
420
00:18:42,778 --> 00:18:45,214
I put up a nice little
camping display last week,
421
00:18:45,348 --> 00:18:49,652
so I'm gonna turn on my little
tissue paper campfire and...
422
00:18:49,784 --> 00:18:51,353
play my harmonica.
423
00:18:51,486 --> 00:18:53,120
Well, call me to say good night, okay?
424
00:18:53,254 --> 00:18:55,858
I will.
425
00:19:03,398 --> 00:19:05,266
Beer at 9:00 in the morning?
426
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:07,969
Was it about to expire?
427
00:19:08,102 --> 00:19:11,173
Ben fired Dad, and Dad
kicked Ben out of the house.
428
00:19:11,307 --> 00:19:12,842
Ugh.
429
00:19:12,974 --> 00:19:14,342
It'll blow over.
430
00:19:14,476 --> 00:19:15,676
Not this time.
431
00:19:15,810 --> 00:19:18,080
What are you gonna do?
432
00:19:18,214 --> 00:19:20,214
I don't know.
433
00:19:20,348 --> 00:19:23,185
Hey, how'd your dinner with Mikey go?
434
00:19:23,318 --> 00:19:25,021
Well, I'll give you a clue.
435
00:19:25,154 --> 00:19:30,059
I did my post grad work
at Vasterflagen in Denmark.
436
00:19:30,193 --> 00:19:34,296
Hopefully, he won't figure out
it's a vanity bench from Ikea.
437
00:19:34,428 --> 00:19:36,631
- You have any fun?
- Oh, yeah.
438
00:19:36,764 --> 00:19:39,167
He's a good guy.
439
00:19:42,404 --> 00:19:44,205
I had a glass of wine.
440
00:19:44,339 --> 00:19:45,640
What?
441
00:19:45,774 --> 00:19:47,642
I had to. It was one drink.
442
00:19:47,777 --> 00:19:49,511
No, you didn't have to.
443
00:19:49,645 --> 00:19:51,747
You're an alcoholic.
You can't have one drink.
444
00:19:51,879 --> 00:19:54,749
I didn't guzzle the bottle and
have sex with him on the table.
445
00:19:54,883 --> 00:19:57,520
Oh, well, shut my mouth. You're cured.
446
00:19:57,653 --> 00:19:59,655
I know I screwed up.
447
00:19:59,788 --> 00:20:02,492
If I was going to keep drinking,
I wouldn't have said anything.
448
00:20:02,625 --> 00:20:04,560
Or maybe you're just trying
to throw me off the scent.
449
00:20:04,693 --> 00:20:07,730
I know your kind can be tricky that way.
450
00:20:07,862 --> 00:20:10,098
You know what? I did it.
451
00:20:10,232 --> 00:20:12,068
I won't do it again.
452
00:20:12,201 --> 00:20:13,469
End of story.
453
00:20:13,601 --> 00:20:16,104
Please don't tell Dad.
454
00:20:16,239 --> 00:20:18,007
Okay.
455
00:20:18,139 --> 00:20:21,742
But just know...
456
00:20:21,877 --> 00:20:23,245
I'm here if you need me.
457
00:20:23,378 --> 00:20:25,180
I'm here for you, too.
458
00:20:25,313 --> 00:20:28,316
You're just trying to cozy up
to me so you can get my beer.
459
00:20:28,451 --> 00:20:30,819
Actually, I was talking to the beer.
460
00:20:34,527 --> 00:20:36,034
Hey, there.
461
00:20:36,081 --> 00:20:39,144
Heard about what happened
with you and Ben.
462
00:20:39,222 --> 00:20:41,892
Yeah, I really don't want
to talk about it.
463
00:20:42,025 --> 00:20:45,429
Business and family, yeah, that's tough.
464
00:20:45,509 --> 00:20:47,863
When me and Roseanne worked
together at The Lunch Box,
465
00:20:47,998 --> 00:20:49,744
we fought like cats and dogs.
466
00:20:49,854 --> 00:20:51,190
Better now. Go away.
467
00:20:51,315 --> 00:20:52,916
Yeah, there was this time
468
00:20:53,049 --> 00:20:54,318
where, uh, she told me
469
00:20:54,451 --> 00:20:57,520
she thought my loose meat could
use a little bit more salt.
470
00:20:57,654 --> 00:21:01,125
So, I held the spatula on the
grill till it turned red-hot,
471
00:21:01,258 --> 00:21:03,626
and I went after her with that.
472
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:04,928
There was this time
473
00:21:05,061 --> 00:21:07,463
where she didn't like
the guy that I was dating...
474
00:21:07,597 --> 00:21:08,932
Yeah.
475
00:21:09,066 --> 00:21:10,667
But it was different
with you and Roseanne.
476
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:13,905
You had a complicated
sister relationship.
477
00:21:14,038 --> 00:21:17,174
Also, she thought
you were an unhinged fruitcake.
478
00:21:17,308 --> 00:21:19,876
And what was her favorite
dessert at Christmas?
479
00:21:20,010 --> 00:21:21,010
French apple pie.
480
00:21:21,145 --> 00:21:23,748
She loved me, and you can't stand it!
36032
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