Original subtitles

Hey, how was the beach?

- You talking to me? - Huh?

Yeah.

Oh, shit, I thought you were on the phone.

What, what did you say?

I was just asking if you had fun at the beach.

Oh! Yeah, um, it was fun. A whole water polo team was there,

Everyone got fucked up.

Captains got fucked up.

I, uh... sun fucked me in the ass.

Just like, shoulder's are burned to shit.

But, yeah. It was lit.

There was this, uhh. There was this girl at the beach.

- Right? - Yeah.

She had these massive fuckin' colossal...

hands.

- Get it? - Yeah, it's funny.

Yeah, 'cause- my hands are like, near my chest.

Yeah, I know, I thought you were gonna say "boobs".

Right?

You think that's funny, though, right?

Like, like you could see that on stage?

Like, people laughing in the audience and stuff?

Yeah.

Yeah. I know, I think it could get some laughs.

Yeah. Sweet. Good.

I was, I was just thinking about, like, doing, like stand-up comedy.

You know?

I mean, we're in L.A., so...

- Definitely. - Yeah, I mean...

I aint fuckin' water polo after college.

Right?

Yeah, that's also true.

Yup.

Do you know if there are any parties tonight?

Ugh... there, umm...

Yeah, yeah. Shithouse is having a party.

- Like, the house is called "Shithouse"? - Mmmhmm.

- Are any other, are any other houses having a party?

- Is there what? - Are any other houses having anything?

No, no man. It's just- no, it's just Shithouse.

Uhh, it's kinda far, but my buddy Seb said it's gonna be...

fire. So...

- Fire. - Huh?

Hmm?

What did you, what did you... Did you say something?

Oh, my God.

Why is it so cold?

Fuck!

Sam?

Hi, you're in RA, right?

- You get locked out? - Yeah, sorry.

No worries. Where's your room?

This way.

Did you just do laundry?

Yeah, you just take a shower?

- Yeah, it's this one. - Okay.

Thank you so much.

I'm really sorry.

When I check my bunk, I realize...

Yeah, Mom.

That was mean.

You love leaves.

Oh, no no no. I didn't mean to make you... don't worry.

Don't worry, she's fine.

It's just a particularly rough week.

Still, I can't believe we didn't get

to hug you on your fucking birthday.

I know.

She's so sweet.

I think she's just missing her buddy.

Okay, I think is going to be Scotland's guy

for me. I'm going to do this.

Hello everyone in my room,

who is ready to leave?

Jack, drink. Drink it.

Dude, I just went.

You all are getting ready for the party here?

What the fuck you say?

I just asked if you all are getting ready for the party.

Looks like you're all getting ready.

Yeah.

I'm just calling the Uber, are you coming?

I'm not sure yet.

I'm not sure yet.

Have you been at Shit House before?

Yeah, like 90 times.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, shit.

Yes, dude. Yes.

Oh! I love college so much!

Yeah, it's great.

Yeah dude, it's fucking hella pussy bro.

Hella vagina, bro, in my fucking face, bro.

My. Fuck.

Oh my God dude.

Are you okay?

Yeah bro. Shit, dude, fuck.

I should not drink anymore fuck, oh fuck.

But that's that life man,

he said what the fuck.

Are you going to throw up right now?

No, it's okay. It's okay,

I'm good. I'm good. Thanks, man.

I'm gonna close the door for you buddy.

Having fun in Shithouse?

What? No, it's really shitty here.

I don't know what you're talking about dude.

Did you steal that bottle of wine from the party?

Oh, no, I brought this from home.

I like having something heavy in my hands to hold at a party.

Yeah, I get that.

I feel like, that it's just like too dinky when

you hold it. You know what I mean?

Yeah, it's too dinky.

Hey, I like your shirt. I like your shirt.

Which one? I'm wearing two.

Oh, I have to see the one underneath.

So I should just take this one off?

I don't know,

if you feel comfortable, why now, yeah.

I feel comfortable.

Okay.

Scott from STAT wants to fuck you too.

Sofia just talked to him, okay?

So operation fuck Scott is in full swing, all right?

You're going to go get that dick. It's operation covert.

Hi.

You want to play a game?

Alex, what's yours?

Huh?

What's up?

- I said you want to play a game. - Oh, a game!

Yeah, what's the game?

It's called, spin the bottle.

Have you heard of it?

Yeah.

Okay, I'll go first.

Oh right here? Okay. How's it going to go.

Look at that.

Ouch.

- You're trouble, aren't you? - Trouble?

Wait, sorry. What's your name?

Georgia.

Okay, Georgia. I'm going to move really quickly.

Georgia, I'm from Texas.

You're not from Georgia?

Yeah. No, I was in.

I'm not from Texas.

That's okay.

Let's get in the bed.

Okay. Yeah. I'm just really quickly,

I was going to go check on my backpack outside.

You brought a backpack to the party?

Yeah. No, maybe I didn't,

but I just want to go check to make sure

that I didn't bring it.

Oh and he misses.

Whoo!

And he makes.

And he makes.

I am the basket.

Hey, Sweetie.

Sorry. Did I wake you up?

No, I'm up. just had a party. You okay?

Yeah. I'm, yeah.

I'm just having a little trouble falling asleep,

because I think I have like a cold.

Shit, I'm so sorry.

Yeah, thanks. It's okay.

Are you taking something? You should be taking stuff.

Well, I was going to go to the CVS by campus,

the 24-hour one, and I was going to

get some Claritin, but-

No, sweetie, not Claritin.

I always say don't take Claritin

because it doesn't do anything for you.

You need to take Allegra.

Oh, right. Yes.

You need Allegra for the decongestant,

but actually you should take Benadril at night.

Do that for like three days and that should clear up.

Okay. Perfect. Okay. Awesome. Oh, I'm going to go walk over to the CVS.

Honey, why don't you see if Josh could give you a ride,

you probably shouldn't be walking around. You should rest.

Yeah. Maybe I'll check with him.

Okay.

You okay?

Yeah. I'm just not feeling well and it's super frustrating.

But I'm going to go ask Josh if he can take me to the CVS.

So I got to go.

Okay, bye sweet boy.

Okay. Goodnight, I love you.

I love you.

I love you too. Okay, bye.

Oh, no. No wait. No wait. No wait.

Can you leave and don't tell anybody about this.

Okay.

And I'm going to be going through a rough patch.

Little third grade Brade Duper, walks over to little third grade-

There we are. Knock knock, Who's there?

It's me and fucking drunk.

Are you okay?

No.

Sam, you okay?

No, I'm fine. I'm fine,

I'm not going to throw up. I'm not going to fucking.

You're going to throw-.

No, I'm not going to throw up,

shut the fuck up.

Shut, the fuck, up.

You suck, you suck, you suck.

Get it? Got it? Get it?

Jerry Seinfeld thinks you suck.

I think you suck.

What's the deal with shitty roommates?

It's never a good one, there's never,

there's never a good one. Bitch, bitch, bitch.

Oh, but I don't want a roommate.

But I don't want a-

I fucking hate you.

Do you want me to get you some water?

No. Yeah. I got water.

That's a huge bottle of vodka.

No, it's fucking water.

You're about to drink vodka right now.

Just.

Get hugs from Mom and Jess.

Why is God so hard?

I feel like I'm just, like... Floating and nobody like.

What?

Sam?

Fuck.

- Sam, Sam, you're shitting yourself. - Hmm?

Sam, I think you might still be shitting. Are you pooping right now.

No. No, I didn't.

Yeah, you 100 percent did. Let's get you up. Okay?

Oh, shit.

We're going to go to the shower, okay? And get your pants off.

No, these are my good pants.

These are your what?

These are my good pants.

I know they are your good pants but you pooped in them.

We need to at least get up and go in the shower.

No, I didn't do nothing.

Sam, we need to get up.

I didn't do nothing.

You dropped a deuce in our room, man.

I didn't shit.

Okay. Ow. Don't-

Am I not allowed to sleep here?

Right now you can. Did you get kicked out of your room?

Yeah. Yeah. Did you?

Oh, no. R. E.'s get singles?

Just I didn't have anything else to eat,

so I had an energy bar earlier so I just can't sleep.

What was on your shirt?

Oh, I actually have it on still.

It just says, It says "The time is now" on it. Nothing special.

Cool.

How is your operation?

Operation fucks got from stat.

Oh, God. It was like a fails operation. Nothing happens.

- No? - Nothing special.

You really going to have to go to sleep and I really keeping you up?

Oh, no. I wasn't sleeping. I'm not tired.

Okay.

I'm not tired at all.

Do you want to, like go hang out?

Yeah. Yeah, I'd love to.

Yeah. What do you want to do?

Like where

I was thinking we could go to the Grand Canyon.

The Grand Canyon? Do you have a car?

What? I'm talking about

going in my room and hanging out there instead of here.

Oh.

Like to kiss and have sex?

Oh.

Is that what you're asking?

I guess so.

Do you even know my name?

What's your name?

I'm not going to just tell you.

Why? I'll tell you my name.

I know your name.

It's Maggie Hill.

You've been my RA for like six months now.

Why are you making me feel bad?

Because you should feel bad.

Okay. Well, I do feel bad.

What's your name?

Get out of here.

Get out of here? That's a weird name.

It's Alex.

Okay, Alex.

I'm sorry that I didn't know or ask.

Why? Don't be sorry.

I'm not.

I do want you to come to my room, though.

You can put your stuff down if you want.

Yeah. Just put it down right here?

I just ruined your room by doing that.

Is it always this clean or is this just a Friday thing?

It's always this clean.

I don't think I've made my bed in like ever, probably.

I recommend it.

Can I have some of this wine that's here?

Oh, yeah, I know. You can just have all of it. I have, like a ton of it.

Well, there's a ton in here,

but I will have all of it, but.

Just have as much as you want.

Cheers.

It's good.

Are you 21?

No, I have a fake ID.

I'm 19, but I just can get it.

I'm 19 too. Just had my birthday a couple of weeks ago.

Cool. Happy belated birthday.

Thank you. Thanks.

Here you go. Do you want some?

Thanks.

How do you get a fake ID?

It's a really complicated process that I

feel like we should talk about another time.

Okay.

Do you want to take your hoodie off?

Yeah. Yes, I do.

Come here.

Take your pants off.

- Take my pants off? - Take your pants off.

Okay.

A lot of things happen I didn't want to.

Take your shirt off too.

Okay.

Is this okay?

What do you like?

Just play the quiet game, okay?

Okay.

- Can I get back on top? - Sure.

I think all the blood is my brain.

Okay, that's fine. That's okay, lay down.

Do you want your clothes?

- Yeah. - Okay.

Here's your shirt.

I'm really sorry.

No, don't be. It's okay.

Can you do the wrapper too?

Thanks for being so nice.

Yeah.

My room is like 100 feet away from your room.

I'm going to skedaddle.

You don't have to. I'm going to be awake if you want to hang out.

I was going to stay up and drink wine.

I'm just saying you don't have to leave right now.

I'm going to be awake.

Are you sure?

Yeah. I would feel weird if I drink alone,

but I feel like it could help me sleep,

so I was thinking that could be good but

also go. I feel like you were trying to go.

No, I wasn't. I thought it's because I didn't, I would love to stay.

Okay. You don't have to.

No, I'd really like to.

Okay.

I can Venmo you by the way, I will Venmo you.

No, it's fine. This is $5 at Target.

You have a car?

No, I walk there.

I don't have a car either. Kinda sucks, right?

I like walking, but yeah, in general,

you want to make a friend with a car.

Yeah. None of my friends have cars.

So you're a sophomore, right?

Yeah.

Did you, did you have a tough first year?

What do you mean, like adjusting?

Yeah. In general.

I don't know. Not really, why?

I am.

Yeah. I mean, I think everybody struggles at first.

Yeah, I'm struggling now.

What's going on?

Can I tell you a secret?

Sure.

I have zero friends.

You just said you have friends.

You said your friends don't have cars.

They don't have cars' cause they're not real.

You don't have zero friends.

I definitely have zero friends.

Like, you could say my roommate,

Sam is a friend,

but we hate each other and aren't friends.

Who do you hang out with?

Timothy from the marketplace, I hang out with.

Like, thirty seconds a day.

And, to be honest, I hang out with my stuffed animal from

home a lot. I talk to him.

That's not true. I don't talk to him.

I more of just like spent a lot of time in

my room and my stuffed animals in the room.

I'm exaggerating.

I have friends,

but are those two of my closest friends

at college 100 percent.

But it's okay because Timothy is fucking awesome.

I really like Timothy a lot.

He's the warmest guy of all time.

He makes me feel so good every day.

He makes my skin feels good when he talks.

- I know what you mean. - Yeah.

Yeah.

Also devastatingly good-looking.

That's part of it.

Yeah. For sure.

Take this back.

My turtle died today.

Is that was supposed to be in that tank on your desk?

Mmhmm.

I'm really sorry. That sucks.

Thanks.

I thought turtles were supposed to like live forever.

I did also and they don't, they just die.

What happened?

I don't really know.

He hadn't been eating so I think he was sick or something

and then he got stuck when I

wasn't here maybe or when swimming,

was weak and drowned. I don't know what happened.

So, you've had, like a really sad day.

Yeah, I mean, whatever is just a turtle.

Yeah, he was my buddy.

What was his name?

Pete.

That's a really good name for a turtle.

Thank you. It means rock, the name Pete.

Rock?

Yes.

That was pretty fitting?

Yeah.

Like he was a rock in life?

Mmhmm.

He held down the fort.

I wish I could have met him.

You know what? Same. I feel

like you guys that have really hit it off. - Really?

Yeah. He was really sensitive also.

What did you do with the body?

Sorry, that's inconsiderate to ask.

I threw him away.

You what?

I threw him in the dumpster in the back of .

I can't tell if you're being serious right now.

What do you mean?

You threw him away?

Yeah. What else did I have done?

You threw Pete away in the dumpster?

The Pete who you- your rock in life, Pete?

Yeah, I put him in a shoe box.

Oh my God, that doesn't make it any better. What?

Okay.

Didn't you want to bury him?

Okay, you need to calm down.

You can't just throw him away in a dumpster,

you can just get rid of him.

What?

You're never going to know where his little body ends up.

I don't want to know where his little body ends up.

Why?

Because he's dead, what?

Oh my God, you're a monster.

I'm not a monster.

Okay, you're not a monster.

But I feel like we should, we should...

But did you put him in the dumpster today?

Mmhmm.

Because it's like ice water?

Yeah, and it's in your fucking face.

Yeah.

I've thought about just not

showering for the rest of my time here.

Oh my God, no. You're going to get used to it.

You've actually gotten used to it?

No, I feel like I've gotten used to

the fact that I'm not going to get used to it.

You know what I mean?

Mmhmm.

I don't know. I've been exercising though,

and I feel like that really helps

with the shower. Have you ever tried that?

No.

Like, I don't know. I just go, I do the elliptical thing and it's like really easy.

I just go to the gym in Burkas.

There's a gym in Burkas?

Yeah. Freshmen. Oh my God.

Yeah. Okay. Are you entirely sure?

I'm entirely sure. Hold my wine.

Oh, gosh. Having a little trouble.

Okay.

Ow, why did you push me?

I don't know, you're having trouble.

You just wanted to touch my butt. Okay.

Do you see anything?

Yeah, I got my eyes on water bottles.

That's not trash, that's recycle.

Making these, wait is Pete really small?

Yeah, do you see him.

Alright Pete, you are so stiff.

I'm feeling like spooked right now.

Don't be, can I just see him.

Is this the shoe box?

Yeah.

Okay, what'd you decide? Where we off to?

Think I'm gonna bury him on the top of Mount Fiji, if that's okay.

Yes, what? Like in Japan?

No, it's Mount Fuji. What? No, I'm talking

about Mount Fiji like the mountain on top of campus.

Oh, yes.

Oh It's called Mount Fiji.

Yeah.

Cool, that's much easier.

L.A.?

Yeah, like this campus, like College.

Yeah, why? Is it ?

No, it was nice hearing at Will.

Where are you from?

Dallas.

Okay, so you're from Texas. I feel like,

you're like 1500 miles away

from our house of course it's a bit like your home.

Okay, yeah where are you from?

Bay area.

That's like 500 miles away?

Yes, like 400.

Yeah, so you went far away from home too?

We both like, got

dropped off in a place we don't know anybody,

and at the end of each day,

we can't go home to our parent's unconditional love.

It's like we're newborn babies here.

But we don't have anybody to hold us.

What? Dude, I don't feel like a newborn baby. I don't know.

I got carried away.

Yeah.

I think kind of drunk right now from the wine.

I think you're very drunk from the wine.

Okay, sue me.

Are you in any clubs?

No, are you?

No, I have friends. Okay, so you know

how like people think squirrels are dumb

because they run out of the street and stuff?

Yeah.

I read an article one time and said like

squirrels are actually really smart

because the way you measure intelligence is by how

well an animal can adapt to

their surroundings, you know what I mean?

Was that pointed?

What, you think I'm dumb because I'm having

a tough time at College?

No, I think you think other people just turn

their brain off when they get here?

Yeah, that's literally exactly what I think.

Like that's a perfect way of putting it.

I'm trying to tell you that's not turning

your brain off like that is being intelligent.

Okay well, I disagree with you because you said it's how

well they adapt and make use of the place they're in,

and what I'm telling you is that people aren't

taking advantage of the place that they're in.

What do you mean?

4,000 people go here.

4,000 people go to the same school in the same place.

4,000 people that don't owe you anything, dude.

You're not constantly being stiffed by people.

Okay, awesome, great. Got it.

Like, I don't owe you anything.

I don't owe you my time.

I don't think you do.

But I still want to hang out with you,

like I'm down to hang out with you tonight.

Yeah, I'm like, really fun to be around.

I'm fun to be around too,

I'm really fun to be around.

I don't know dude, you say you don't have any friends.

Yeah, because everybody fucking sucks here.

Oh, sorry, I forgot. I forgot that.

What I'm saying is like college is and

like it should be the most selfish time in your life.

Like the agenda here is not to

learn how to be a great friend.

Okay, what is the agenda?

Figure out who you are?

Actually it is.

Whatever, look watch this comeback.

Yeah, I want other people to help me in that.

Like I want other people to be a part of my identity.

I think it's about like, figuring out who you are

separate from other people and like taking care of yourself.

Yeah, I just don't like college.

I agree with you,

but can you agree with me that maybe

we can add to that agenda,

like learning how to better look after each other.

Hey, you guys want to play with the Great Bambino?

Any interest?

Should I tell him we're busy?

Why, what do you mean?

To bury Pete.

We can do it after softball.

Tons of interest.

One, two, three, Wolves.

Hey, y'all ready yet?

Yeah, we're ready, punks!

Yeah, we got a new pitcher, so it's about to be a comeback.

You're pitching?

- Fuck. - Oh my God.

Shit, oh my God.

Are you okay?

You suck at pitching.

Yeah, Where did it hit?

My calf. You are so bad at pitching.

I know, I'm so sorry. Wait guys, do we have ice?

Yeah. Go get some.

No, it's okay. No, I don't need ice. I'm all right.

Are you sure?

I'm all right. Yeah I know, he sucks and pitching.

It wasn't hard.

Fuck, ow. It is not as not a softball. It's a hardball.

Dude, I'm so sorry.

It's okay, It's fine, I'm okay.

I've like, I really truly have never been so sorry.

Oh my God, stop apologizing.

You keep apologizing, then you're going to be sorry.

Because I'm going to knock your block off.

Protruding, Is that the word?

Why don't we just get you ice,

like let's go to Burt's off campus.

We can get our lunch there.

It's such a waste of money. It's fine. It's really fine.

Okay. We can just walk there. It's like super close.

Okay, all right.

If it gets out to here, if it swells.

If it get down to here?

Yeah, like if it swells out that far, then we'll go.

Okay, how about here?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Am I the first person

you've had sex with at college?

We didn't really have sex.

Okay, am I first person you've kissed naked at college?

Yeah, yes.

And you're the second person

that I've kissed naked in my life.

I had a girlfriend in high school,

and we dated for like three years.

What happened? Did you break up because of college?

Yeah.

I had a boyfriend in high school also.

There's just like senior year.

Did you break up for college? Like because the distance?

No, we broke up because I kept cheating on him.

Yeah, I feel like that'll do it for most high school relationships.

Excuse me. I'm going to have to

ask you guys to leave the softball field.

Yeah, when exactly are you going to have to ask us to do that sir?

Yeah, what time?

Okay, I know it didn't get swollen out to here,

but I really feel we should. - No.

I don't want to go. I don't want to go. I don't want to go. Fuck.

Does it hurt?

Yeah, It hurts really bad.

Did it get tight.

Okay.

- All right, let's go. - We should go.

I generally thought I was, but I was just like

a fucking asshole to everybody all the time.

Did you do theater?

- Yes. Wait did you do theater? - Yeah.

Did you ever have the stage managers that were really

weirdly grumpy and jaded and actually mean.

I actually had really great stage managers.

Okay, cool. Well, I was a stage manager and I was just

really jealous of the actors

because I always wanted to audition for the play,

but I never did.

It really wasn't my vibe. So I never did.

You never auditioned?

- No. - Not even once?

Not even once.

So you just moved to L.A.

to pursue your dream to become a star?

No. Oh my god. No.

Wait, sorry. I think I'm getting a phone call right now.

Sorry. Yeah, this is my sister

and I feel like I should answer cause she was at a party.

No go ahead.

Right, sorry. Hello.

Oh, fuck!

Jesse! Margret off the phone, he is sick.

- He's fine! - You're sick?

I'm actually better, Mom.

Why'd you call? Is everything okay.

Yeah. Boy. Yes.

Are you drunk right now?

- No. - Yes.

Alright. dork, well is that why you called, to show me that you're drunk?

- No, you all are haters. - Yes.

I'm not a hater. I think it's great you drink. I just can't talk right now.

I'm a hater, she's 15,

she doesn't need to be drinking already.

Okay guys, it's so late there,

you all go to sleep, I gotta go.

Dallas doesn't sleep, boy.

Oh my god, help me. Are you outside,

because you should be inside getting rest.

You should be inside getting rest.

Mom. I'm not sick,

I'm with a friend, guys.

That was allergies earlier I think.

I'm fine. But I have to go.

Who are you with, are you with a girl?

Help me. Good bye.

I'm so sorry that you had to see that.

No.

I loved it.

They're a lot.

It seems like you guys are really close.

Yes.

Yeah. Well, we go way back.

I feel like I learned a ton about you from that.

Like what?

I don't know. You have a really cute sister and

your mom is, like such a mom.

She is such a mom.

Yeah.

She really leans in the mom stuff.

She gives lots of hugs.

What about your dad, does he give a lot of hugs?

He used to, but my dad passed away. He died.

I'm sorry.

It's fine.

Has that like really affected you?

My dad dying?

I'm so sorry. I just mean,

how has it really affected you I guess?

I don't know. This is going to sound weird,

but I really don't think it's affected me that much.

I obviously miss having him around,

but I don't know,

everything was and everything has been okay.

I don't know. Three months before he died,

he wrote me and my sister

this letter and at the end of the letter,

it said that our names will forever be carved into

his heart and that just like really I don't know.

Wow, he wrote that.

Yeah. I know, right.

Oh, fuck dude.

- Oh shit. - It's closed.

Oh, my god. Wait. No, I thought it was supposed to be open 24 hours.

Yeah, so did I, what are we going to do for ice?

Do you think this thing is cold.

Seven stories?

Okay.

Okay, Jeff.

What are your parents like?

They're fine, just like parents.

That's super boring.

I know, they they suck.

I just felt like you just said your dad is dead,

so I didn't want to complain about my parents?

Why do they suck.

My dad's, like a loser and my

mom's, like really cold and distant because she

chose such a fucking asshole to

be the father of her children, I think.

Are they divorced?

Oh yeah. Oh yeah, they're divorced.

They got divorced when I was in first grade

and my mom's, like dating a guy named Bruce Now.

Do you like Bruce?

I don't know Bruce.

He seems fine. I don't know, he's kind of weird.

I just met him, like one time, though.

Do you have a relationship with your dad?

I haven't spoken to him since I was 15.

What?

Yeah.

Oh my god, what?

Yeah.

My sister and I told

him we hated him and we never want to

talk to him again and he just listened to that.

He, like actually got remarried two years ago and

didn't invite us to the wedding

and, like this is a really big wedding and

all my aunts and uncles

like and grandparents and stuff were there.

That's super mature.

Yeah. That's I mean,

he's just, like a fuckin' loser.

Does it make you more sad or more angry?

What?

Like, your dad being,

does your shitty dad make you more sad or more angry?

I don't know. I guess neither honestly.

It's just been bad with him for so long,

that I don't feel a lot about it.

I don't feel angry or sad or anything.

Sometimes I feel sad on his behalf.

It's so sad that he doesn't.

I don't know, maybe this sounds conceited,

but my sister and I grew up to be like

such cool people and he doesn't get to know that,

it's sad for him. It's shitty.

- Wow, I almost killed that guy. - Yeah.

That would have been his fault totally though.

Yeah, right. He didn't have the white pedestrian light.

White pedestrian light?

You mean the green pedestrian light?

I'm talking about the person.

Yeah. The person's green, right?

I think he's white.

Jeff, I'm pretty sure.

It's green, like the red hand,

so that would mean the person's green.

You all are both colorblind.

It's absolutely white.

Well, I'm actually colorblind,

but she thinks it's green too.

I'm actually colorblind also.

- You're what? - You're both colorblind.

Yeah.

I thought girls can't be color blind.

Women can be colorblind it's just 0.3% of them are so.

We're both colorblind?

Yeah, that's crazy.

That Is crazy. have you guys heard of

those glasses like cures,

with the videos, are they expensive?

Yeah.

I don't know. I feel

like I would never want to wear them because then I

have to take them off and reckon without them.

I want to try it at least once and have that experience.

- That's crazy that you're colorblind. - Yeah.

Are you allergic to peanuts?

No. Wait why?

I'm just checking.

I'm allergic to gluten.

Really? That's, like a bad one.

Yeah, tell me about it.

You're colorblind and allergic to peanuts?

Yes.

I wouldn't survive a day in the before Christ days.

No, you would've been fine,

you just would have had to find a good partner.

Don't look at me. I'm colorblind.

I would have been the only colorblind woman

alive in Mesopotamia.

Maybe I really should have him cremated.

So you can keep in your room?

I'm down to cremate him, if you want.

I'll go on another adventure.

No, I'm just procrastinating. Okay. Let's do this.

Can you help me?

Yeah. Are you okay?

It's just weird. This is so weird.

Yeah, I know it's just so weird,

burying a dead body is the weirdest thing ever.

It's so fucking weird

But we can slow down. We don't have to do it right now.

We can l take our time, I feel like we are rushing.

Here, let me do this.

What are you doing?

I'm going to take Pete out of the whole

and keep him out, so he's visible.

It was nice seeing him

before I realize we haven't looked at him all night.

He's been in the shoe box?

Yeah and he is a beautiful turtle.

Thank you.

Did you have something to do with that?

Yeah. I gave birth to him.

Do you believe in God?

On airplanes, I do .

It's like anytime, I can't

even pretend to have any control.

Yeah. Yes.

Feel like, when I think about dying,

I'm just like, see you soon, big guy.

Yeah. Death sucks, I'm not okay with it. Death is ass.

I can't believe that

like everything is just going to vanish.

Yeah.

So that's going to vanish for me to though,

you're not alone in that.

- Maggie? - Yes.

- Are you okay? - Mmhmm.

Yeah I'm okay.

I'm fine. I'm okay. I'm all right.

Let's do it,

I'm ready to do the burial. Let's do this.

Okay. Yes, I totally agree but can I say,

can I throw out an idea?

Go ahead.

Okay. Well, like earlier I was going to

suggest that you say some words

and I was thinking at first that it would

be after you buried him.

But now I'm thinking that doesn't make any sense and you

should just say words now, while he is out.

Okay.

Let's do it. Can you start and I'll just close? I'm just going to close.

Yeah.

Pete. I really wish I could have known you when you

were able to move around and hang out.

I can tell Maggie really likes you a ton.

So I'm really bummed that we couldn't be friends.

But I'm really really glad that

you were such a great friend to Maggie for so long.

Because she's really awesome

and I feel like you had a lot to do with that.

So good job.

You did a really good job.

Being alive and being a friend.

Pete, I have not

dealt with as much tragedy and loss as Alex has,

so my eulogy is going to fuckin' blow comparatively.

Yeah. I mean, Alex was right,

you were a really good friend and you were

a really great listener and I really felt like,

I could cut through all the bullshit with you,

which was really nice.

I don't know, it's going to suck.

I know, it's going to suck when I- I don't know, it's gonna suck when I-

I feel like we're going to start feeling, hung over.

Should we have like a beer or something?

Level ourselves out?

Yeah. Sure. I'm not like dying for Brewski.

But I'll have one, if you have one.

What about Dos Equises?

No, yeah, all beer tastes the

same minus the IPA stuff, whatever.

Dose of kisses.

That's clever.

What's up? Not a lot of chuckle is coming from the audience.

You guys tired? Y'all hungover?

No. You're just not funny.

Oh, you're just not attractive, so how's that? Yeah, I know.

I heard a couple of you say it,

it's yeah, I'm hung over too. I'm hung over too.

I was actually going to wake up and

write some jokes for you all today,

but instead, I had to clean shit off my floor.

Shit my pants.

Too much Schlitz that'll get you .

Oh my what is this?

Open mic and muffins,

wow. That's an idea.

Hey.

Hey.

Can you hand me my shirt?

Yeah.

- Here you go. - Thanks.

I'll turn around.

Hey, do you know that you talk in your sleep?

What?

Are you dressed? Can I turn around?

- Yeah. - You talk in your sleep.

Last night, in the middle of the night I woke up to a

noise and it was you,

you had a blanket right here and you were

holding it really tight and you're like,

it's okay and I was like,

Maggie are you okay?

You're like, yeah I'm totally fine.

It was probably the sweetest thing I've ever seen.

I don't know, I was really drunk last night, I guess.

When we fell asleep?

Yeah.

I mean, yeah, I guess we did have a ton of

wine and I am feeling pretty hung over, right now,

Yeah. Sorry. I have to start my day and stuff.

Do you mind if I just get past you?

Yeah. I'm blocking you.

Yeah.

You're still here.

Yeah. I put my clothes on now.

Sorry. Can I just sip that water?

Oh your doing it, can I have it after?

- Sure. - Thanks.

When you were gone, I remembered

an insane dream I had last night.

You and I were floating in space and then we

saw George Clooney and

then he asked us how Sandra Bullock was doing.

That's insane. Let me make my bed.

Have you seen that movie?

No, I haven't.

It's called "Gravity"

with Sandra Bullock and George Clooney.

Yeah.

I think it won a bunch of Oscars

like 2014 or something.

Hey, do you want to go get

a breakfast burrito or something?

At Tropicana? I haven't been,

but Sam talks about it a lot and just be a little walk?

Yeah. Sorry. I just like

that's sounds like a ton to me right now.

Okay. I feel like you're really grumpy right now and

you want me to leave, is that correct?

I'm not really grumpy, I have a lot to do today,

so I'm freaking out about that. So I want to start.

Yeah, I get that. I understand that.

That makes sense, I just feel

like I'm missing something right now.

I don't know what you mean.

I just want to knock on her door. I don't know.

Well then knock on her door.

Oh my God Mom, I cant,

That's what I'm trying to tell you, I can't do that.

She doesn't want that.

Okay. Well, I don't know what you want me to say here.

Okay. I've shared my thoughts.

She's your best friend.

You knock on her door, you say Emily, I'm sorry I fucked up.

Okay, bye mum, bye Mom bye Mom, bye Mom.

Wait, is Josh involved in this?

Can we be ready?

Yes. I'm so starving.

Hey, do you have a stopping point soon?

No, not yet. Just go without me, I'm here.

Maggie, when is this due?

Oh my God, soon.

But what does soon mean?

Next week.

Oh, bitch, no.

- Of course, no. - No.

Sorry. I'm just on a roll.

Guys, this is really important.

Oh my God.

Excuse me, everyone. My friend here is on a roll.

Eyes forward and keep it down.

She's on a roll. Sir, I hate to bother you.

I'm so sorry, sir.

Do you see my friend over here?

I'm so sorry to bother you. She's on a roll and this is very distracting.

My knees.

Yeah, it's distracting her.

It's really loud, because she's on a roll.

You're the worst people in the whole world.

What's up, dick cheese.

Hey.

Where did you sleep last night?

I actually slept in this girl's room.

Oh, pussy boy. Great.

Are you about to smoke a cigarette?

Can you not be a bitch?

Juul's charging. I need something.

Okay. What if you and I get high together instead?

You want to smoke weed with me?

Yeah, smoke weed.

Fine.

Shit.

Sorry, this is going to sound weird,

but could you light it for me?

Yeah. I didn't know you've never smoked weed before.

No I have, but in high school I did some but

my girlfriend would always light it for

me because I always burned my thumb.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that's the gayest thing I've heard.

Go for it.

She made me feel like such a weirdo for asking to go get breakfast burritos.

I've been there.

When?

Huh?

You said been there. When have you been there?

No, no, no, no, no.

It's just like, "Damn, man, I've been there.".

I don't, wait what?

I mean, I haven't actually been there, but I was just for you, it's like, been there.

But you haven't actually been there?

I'm here for you.

There another party tonight.

Where? Diary Velma house?

No. Basketball house or where the basketball team lives.

I don't think I'm up for another party tonight.

Are you, after last night when you shit your pants?

I mean, like. I just need to hydrate,

take a nap and I'll probably just jerk off,

smoke more, I'll be ready.

How do you always know about all the parties?

The senior water polo guys

have a document called the parties

schedule and they put it in our group text.

Yeah.

But yeah, this one's saying that you got

to wear a wig to the party.

This one, it says that you have to wear a wig.

We have to wear wigs?

If I send someone a message on

Insta, can I see if they've seen it?

Yeah, it will say "seen".

What?

Shit.

Let me see that? Oh, my God.

Dude, you sent her so many messages?

Yeah.

What?

It's not like we're in middle school,

we don't play games or to be elusive?

Were the first eight flags not right enough,

you just want to set a brighter one?

That's her right there. That's right there.

She's going to get a wig. She's going to go a wig.

What? So?

We go this way.

I'll be right here.

Hey, what's going on?

Oh, we don't need any help. Thank you.

Oh, no, we don't work here.

Yeah. We go to school with you-all.

Oh, hey. Do you guys sell water bottles?

We don't work here.

Yeah. I mean, I sell Juulpods but that's all.

Yeah. We don't work here.

We go to school with you-all. Maggie.

Hey.

You guys know each other?

No. We all go to school together.

He already said that. Okay. See you.

That's great.

Yeah.

Yikes. That was horrible.

Yeah.

That was so bad.

My heart just like dropped out of my butt-hole just now.

Wait, your heart what?

Why is she playing games?

She's like playing games with me.

I mean, it doesn't seem like she's playing games.

It just seems more like she doesn't want to talk to you.

Are you sure that was the girl?

Yeah, that was the girl.

Well, she's weird. It just seems like she

didn't know that you existed.

I mean, you know, shit gets dark sometimes. Do you have good vision?

I'm ready for a night. I'm fucking ready.

I'm kinda nervous. I feel like I want to see

Maggie and I'm going to act super dumb.

Oh, dude.

You got to stop that shit, man.

Honestly, look at me,

just get her out of your head.

Don't even think about it.

You don't talk to her. That's the move.

You talk to other girls and then she sees that you're

not the little bitch that you always claim that you are.

I never claim that I was.

Yeah, you do, you do, man. Come on.

Don't talk to her tonight, okay?

Amp up, what are you going to do? What are you going to do tonight?

Not talk to Maggie.

Not talk to Maggie. Not talk to Maggie.

- Not talk to Maggie. - Not talk to Maggie.

- Not talk to Maggie. - Not talk to Maggie.

- Not talk to Maggie. - Not talk to Maggie.

- Can I come in yet? - No, you got to stay out there for a few more minutes.

You know what, fuck you too, bro.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- What's up? - My guys.

- Hey. - Hey, man.

Where y'all goin'?

We're going into the party, Basketball House.

It's not an open party.

Yeah.

We have wigs on. Yeah.

I can see that, but neither of you have tits,

so you're going to have to know someone on their team.

Yeah. No other house has that rule, man.

I understand that. I get what you're saying, but see,

Basketball House is a little different,

and if you don't know anybody.

Oh, we know Jay.

You know Jay?

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know Jay?

He's in the basketball team.

Big guy, tall.

Tall Jay.

It's all good, man. Go ahead and go have fun.

It's a good night, you know what I mean?

Everybody's having fun.

Not me, clearly.

Oh, wow. You need to outdo party animals.

Yeah. Yeah.

You too. I got to look out for you, guys.

Yeah. Yeah.

I can't believe we got in.

Yeah, man. Fuck that bouncer. Here, take this.

Oh, no. I'm good. I've had way too much.

Okay. One to grow on.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Good news, I haven't seen Maggie,

- What? - I haven't seen Maggie.

Oh, dude. I said I have not. I have not.

But you brought her up, man.

You've got to get her out of your head.

Where is your water polo team?

Fuck the water polo team.

Now, look at me.

Tonight, you and I, we're making new friends, okay?

By new friends, I mean fucking girls and by

make I mean we're going to have sex with them, man.

Let's get outside the comfort zone.

Maggie is outside of my comfort zone though.

No. She's inside the comfort zone.

You're talking with her snugly.

You were talking with her all last night, weren't you?

No, we don't need that.

Look around you. Look at this.

Look at the plethora of pussy. Okay?

Who do you got? Who are you picking?

Actually, I know that girl from the other night.

I'm talking to that girl.

All right? Ready?

Break!

Julia.

Alex from the softball game, right?

Yeah.

Hi. I'm being antisocial here, but my friends,

Carolina and Garrett from softball,

actually, they're not here yet,

so I just don't know what to do with myself.

I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know.

- That's ideal. - Yes. Yeah.

How's Maggie's leg?

Oh, it's good.

I think it's okay.

I don't know. That was a while ago.

Yeah, you hit her super hard,

but it was like she barely felt it.

I know, she's super tough.

I mean ya'll are so cute together.

Oh, no, we're not together.

We're not. We're just friends. We're not friends.

So who are you with tonight?

I'm hoping you, Caroline, and Garrett.

Yeah.

- Really? - Yeah.

No.

Hey, get a room you two.

Hey, what the fuck man?

Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry.

I thought I thought you two were my friends,

and I was going to try to be funny.

I don't think your two friends will find that funny at all.

Yeah. That wasn't funny.

Yeah. That wasn't funny at all.

I'm sorry. That's my bad.

It's cool. Who do you know from the basketball team?

- What's that? -I said who do you know from the team here?

Oh, I know Jay. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm Jay.

Yeah. You're literally talking to Jay right now, dumb ass.

What? I haven't seen you in so long.

Matt, get Charlie.

Jay, it's me, Alex.

Oh, you're the guy who's leaving.

That was a good one.

- I'm going to give you that one. - Let go.

Let go, dude.

Fucking freshman bouncer bitch.

All right, man. Walk safe, man. Get back to your dorm.

All right, walk safe, man.

Go back to your dorm. That was you.

How much playing time are you

getting on the basketball team?

I feel like it's not a time because Coach probably

thinks you're too small.

Hey, have a good night. Have a good night, bro.

You know who you remind me of? You remind me of one of those kids in

high school whose parents would always tell

the Coach to play them more.

Good one.

That was you, huh?

You're killing it, tonight.

This is my impression of you.

I'm gonna do an impression of you.

Hey, Coach, can I come into the game?

I'll make sure the bench is warm for Jay.

What's that, Jay?

You want me to make sure that no one

comes inside your party?

That was good.

Yeah.

Do you want to again in ten it?

Do I want to again in ten it?

Yeah, like have sex again in ten minutes.

Hey.

Oh, shit, what up?

What the fuck?

Dang, bro is this your room?

No, is this not your room?

Yeah, this is my room. Yeah, this is my room. Get out.

For sure bro. For sure.

Oh, fuck.

Are you guys like dating?

- No. - No, we're no.

We're just like friends and I want to talk to my friend in my room.

So if you could just get out. Get the fuck out.

For sure bro. For sure man. Jeez man.

Get out.

All right dude, jeez.

What the fuck are you doing?

What the fuck are doing?

You've just fucked this dude in here?

That's none of your business.

I'm going to leave and if you follow me,

I'm going to kick your ass. I'm serious.

What?

Don't follow me.

Maggie, what's going on right now?

Nothing is going on.

I thought you and I were having a thing outside.

I was like crushing college in there.

Oh my god. Okay. Yes, you seem like you were having fun.

What do you want to say, dude?

Like congrats on crushing college?

No, I was just like doing that for you.

- What? - Like I was putting on a show for you.

I was like trying to get your attention.

Don't do that. I don't want you to do that.

That doesn't make any sense.

You got me a drink and you told to keep ramping up.

You were flirting with me.

We were making eye contact.

We were having a peak moment and you just fucking

disappeared to like fuck a dude.

Okay. You we're having a peak moment.

I was just at a fucking party and I brought

you a drink and then I went back to what I was doing.

Why do you want to just go back to what you were doing?

What do you mean?

Why are you acting like last night didn't fucking happen?

Why were you so mean to me today at the store?

Why did you introduce me to your fucking friends?

Why did save like 9,000 fucking Instagram messages?

Why are you acting like a creepy fucking psycho?

Because I like you.

I like you a lot.

I had a really good night with you.

And I want to continue to talk to you.

Like did you not have a good night last night?

I did. I had a great night last night.

Now, I'm trying to have another great night.

What?

- What? - Oh my god, dude. You're so mean.

You're so mean. You're awful.

- I'm awful? - Yes.

What? Oh, my god. Did you think we were going to

date because of one night?

No.

I don't want to wake up and get

breakfast burritos with you dude. I don't want that.

Yeah. You've made that abundantly clear.

But I care about you after last night.

I care about you after last night and you

can't just pretend like I don't exist.

Actually, I can do anything that I want.

I don't owe you anything.

I don't owe you a text,

about like, oh, hey, I had a great night last night.

- Maggie stop. - What?

- Stop. - What?

Just like talk to me, please. Just like talk to me.

I'm talking to you.

But it feels like you're not. Just come

outside of yourself for two fucking seconds.

Care about somebody other than yourself for two seconds.

You need to grow up.

Why is that so fucking hard for you?

You need to grow the fuck up.

No, you need to grow up. You need to grow.

I am. I've been.

Your like the girl from 13 going on 30.

Jennifer Garner?

No, I'm talking about the movie 13 going on 30.

There's like the girl would like the little house.

Yeah. That's Jennifer Garner.

You're talking about Jennifer Garner right now?

She was awesome in that movie.

What are you talking about?

Okay. I'm just trying to stay like the premise of

that movie is that there's this 13-year-old girl.

Friends.

Hi, this is my room, man. Can you leave?

Oh my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

I'm so sorry.

I'm gonna take off.

What?

I see what you're doing.

What's going on?

You're fucking crazy. This is my room.

I'm high but I'm not that high.

What are you talking about? I wanna laugh.

I was saying you

are like the girl Jenny whoever was playing.

It's Jennifer Garner.

- Okay. - Jennifer Garner, is her name.

Okay. The girl that made a wish that

she could be older and then

she woke up with a body of a 30 year old.

But you she didn't know how to be an adult

because she was actually 13.

I know the plot, Maggie, I'm aware of the plot.

I'm trying to say, you are not actually 13.

You don't get to just turn back into

a teenager when you need a hug

from your mom to get through the day.

You have to just be an adult.

There's nothing wrong with getting

hugs to get you through the day.

I feel like you're going to cry.

Are you're going to cry right now we at the backyard of

a fucking college wig party?

There's nothing wrong with that If I was going to.

There's something wrong with that.

It means that you need to grow up.

No, you know what it means? It means my parents were

good parents who gave me love and attention.

Unlike you're miserable, horrible parents

who fucked you up so bad you have to

have sex with random guys to make you feel

good and wanted and in control.

Okay. Have fun with

your stuffed animals tonight your parents

did a kick-ass job dude.

You know what I like my life,

and I liked it before last night.

Just because you feel like fucking shit about yours,

doesn't mean that you've get to make me feel

bad about who I am, okay?

Okay. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

Hey, did you or did you

go outside of your comfort zone last night?

Oh, I don't know if I remember it.

Wait. Well, I'm trying to get back at my brain.

Did we walk home last night?

No. No, we didn't.

But I came back in and you were

asleep and then I went over and I put you on your side.

I remember you were like,

"I'm not cuddling bitch ass."

I was like, "No one said you were."

Yeah. I don't remember that.

I don't. I don't remember anything.

Jesus Christ, that's so scary.

I honestly kinda feel a little bit responsible.

Why?

I just didn't say anything after

you probably took 12 shots.

12? 12 shots?

Yeah. I remember you kept taking,

you take one shot and then you take

another and be like, "I want to grow on."

Oh, yeah. Like an extra birthday candle.

Yeah. Except it ended up being like six to grow on.

God, damn it. I've got to stop drinking so much.

What day is it?

What day? It's Sunday.

Sunday. God. Well, TGI Sunday

because this motherfucker is an alcoholic. Okay.

Yeah, I'm down for a chill Sunday.

Yeah. Uh-huh.

Do you want to maybe clean up the room a little bit too?

Yeah. This place is a fucking mess.

Yeah.

- Let's get to it. - Let's do it.

Yeah.

You're going to throw up? You're going to throw up?

I got you. I got you.

Here we go. Here we go.

I don't think I'm going to be able to

help you clean up, man.

- Absolutely. - No.

- You stay in bed. - Yeah.

I'm going to get you some water.

That would be great.

I'll get you some and I'll put some in a red soda cups.

All right, that will be fire. Yeah.

- Thank you. - Yup.

Get off.

Clearly.

Maybe we could give it to a new turtle.

Look at you.

I'm drowning.

Okay. I'm hungry.

Fuck you. Fuck you.

Oh, my God.

Alex, dude.

- Garrett. - We lost you last night.

Yeah, I know, but

the craziest thing happened. It was, yeah.

Are you eating here?

No. Well, I mean,

I wasn't planning on eating here.

I was planning to get it to go,

but I have time to eat

here if you want to eat together, I have time.

If that's what you're asking. I'm not

sure if that's what you're insinuating.

Alex, my dude.

- Yeah. - Sorry. I'll have the mushroom.

I'm already making it. You were

sitting there talking for an hour.

For here or to go?

For here. Thank you.

Definitely pretty.

- No way, - Definitely pretty.

Absolutely not.

Hey.

Hey. It's the guy who ditched us.

Yeah. What happened? Where were you?

Okay. What the hell is going

on? I don't understand why-

I'm not friends with anybody named Josh or Emily.

Wait, what?

Emily and Josh have never existed.

I've never been friends with anybody named Josh or Emily.

Every time I've brought them up,

I've just been talking a lie-

I'm going to fucking combust here. I'm getting you on a plane.

No, mom. Mom.

Yeah. We're going to use Uncle Tibs miles.

No, mom.

Listen. I didn't say that to make you .

Why would you want us before?

Because you were going to tell me to come

home and I probably would have just come home.

There's nothing wrong with that.

Yes, there would have been something wrong with that.

Why? Why can't you? Why? Why?

Mom, I can't just come home.

Yes you can. You actually can. It's fine.

But I don't want to do that.

I want to stay here.

I don't want to come home.

At least I want to try to

stay here. I haven't been trying.

That group of friends that I met on Friday,

they invited me to sit the marketplace with

them and I realized as I sat down with them,

that I probably sat down at the marketplace

a total of 20 times since I've been here.

This whole time I've been at the marketplace,

I have sat down at the marketplace 20 times

because I usually just do this thing where

I take a to go container and just

go back to my dorm room and eat by myself.

What I've realized is that I haven't fully been here.

Like, I have, but I've also been-

Kind of still been here too?

Yeah. That's why I was going to call you guys

because I just wanted to say that

that I love you guys so much.

I love you so much and I miss you guys so much.

I miss you guys so much.

And I think I've

been feeling paralyzed here because of

that and also because

nobody here is half as

cool and half as loving as you guys are.

But even though I'm feeling really sad right this second,

an hour ago I was feeling really

really good and I was feeling really

optimistic because I really

think if I start trying to throw

myself in to college and start trying to fully dive in,

I think I can start having a better time and

maybe I can meet people who are half as

cool and half as loving as you guys are.

Well, maybe that does mean that

I was going to say that maybe that doesn't

mean that I shouldn't call as much anymore.

Yeah, honey. I think that's really smart, honey.

I mean, it's not healthy to check in so often.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. We'll be here,

we'll always be here, honey.

We'll always be here whenever you call or pick up,

but you should save all your energy for all your friends

and the parties and

studying and

all the adventures you're going to have there.

I'm really sorry, honey.

It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay. I'm really sorry too.

You can help me.

Could you give me these rocks?

No.

Can I? They are really pretty.

Sure.

Good.

We have to make sure you go to the shower to wash that.

Yeah, can somebody do my make-up for it?

Okay. Give me one second.

Yeah. Can you give me a tiger stripe?

If we give you a tiger stripe it's going to fade.

Yeah.

What? Stop. You said the same thing last year.

You liked it more that I did last year?

- Yeah, I know. - He did. She's amazing.

We're agreeing with you.

Agreed.

She's really good.

She's like, "Do you know Meryl Streep?"

Just what it was like to have been very young.

Particularly the days when

you were in love for the first time,

when you felt like a person sleepwalking and you

didn't quite see the street that you were in and

you didn't quite hear everything that was said to you.

You're just a little bit crazy.

So will you remember that, please?

Can you guys' take my sister? Is that okay?

- Yes. - No. Just skip the test.

It is going to be fine.

No. I know. It's just my last one, so I want to do.

Well, you have a full face make up on in this outfit. What are you wearing?

I can take my make-up off and change.

Are you about to go to the library?

- Yeah. - To study for your finals?

- Yeah. - So am I.

Do you wanna work together?

Yeah.

- Cool. - That's interesting.

Let's go.

What's going on? Why are you talking?

Well, you're only going to

library because she's going to library.

That's not true.

I think it is true.

I was going to the library

to study because I have a final tomorrow.

Which final?

History.

- History? - Of?

What?

History of?

The 18th century paint.

Paint? What did you just say?

How are you so talented?

What did you really think of the show?

I really loved it so much and I

really think you're the best actor of all time.

- Okay. - I'm not kidding.

Thank you.

Are you going to be in L.A. this summer.

I've got a ton of studying.

Fuck you.

I haven't decided yet.

School year ends in a week.

Yeah, I know. I can

sleep on Garret's couch when I go to Chicago.

No. You got to decide.

Get out of here.

Alex, if I said I wanted to

date you and be your girlfriend, would you stay here?

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah, Maggie.

I want to be your girlfriend.

You really want that?

I really want that.

You're trying to date me?

I'm not trying to marry you.

Okay. Well, I understand you're not wanting to marry me.

I won't make it that important now.

But I'm not down with you being a shitty partner.

I don't-

I'm not saying we have to spend

all our time together and I'm

not saying that we have to be

there for each other all the time,

but I do want it to feel like we're on the same team.

I do want it to feel we have each other's backs.

Looking out for each other?

Yeah.

You tryin' to date me?

What? That was crazy.

All right. Are you ready?

Okay, I'm ready.

We want a batter not a broken arm.

Throw the ball, Chuck!

All right, here it comes.

Oh, my gosh, it's goin'.

It's goin'. It's gone!

Oh, my God. It's a home run!