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1
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Come on, sugar.
Come on, come on.
2
00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:59,124
Come on, come on.
3
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:05,897
Shh.
4
00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:11,648
Good afternoon, Fred!
5
00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:13,572
Good afternoon!
6
00:01:17,344 --> 00:01:20,045
Go away, Esther.
I'm trying to sleep.
7
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:24,327
Fred, it's Calvin.
8
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How's your throat?
9
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Still a little hoarse.
10
00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:27,931
Oh, yeah?
11
00:01:27,955 --> 00:01:29,754
So is he.
12
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,604
This is General Lee.
13
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:35,805
I bought all this stuff
14
00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:38,275
from Daniel L.
Perkins, who retired,
15
00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:41,078
and I am here to make you
16
00:01:41,102 --> 00:01:42,779
a beautiful
business proposition.
17
00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:44,948
What's the proposition?
18
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:47,072
Come on, I'll show
19
00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:51,054
All right.
20
00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:54,857
Now, I have got a
wagonload of junk here.
21
00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:56,460
You're in the junk business.
22
00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:59,929
I've got junk, so
let's make a deal.
23
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,099
Okay, if the price is right.
24
00:02:02,123 --> 00:02:04,234
Ah!
25
00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:06,336
I'm asking 200.
26
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,893
I'm answering 50.
27
00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:12,142
All right, for you,
28
00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:14,578
I'll go down a
little lower, 100.
29
00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:18,281
Well, for you, I'll
come up a little higher...
30
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:19,938
50.
31
00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:23,420
And that's as high
as I'm gonna get.
32
00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:25,054
All right, I'll take it.
33
00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:28,891
$50, but that's
only for the junk,
34
00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:31,595
not General Lee here.
35
00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:36,266
No, for $100 you
couldn't buy this horse.
36
00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:37,867
What do I want with
a horse anyway?
37
00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:39,402
I don't need no horse.
38
00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:40,803
Uh, let me ask you a question.
39
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:41,871
What?
40
00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:43,106
Why not the horse?
41
00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:45,342
Why aren't I selling the horse?
42
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:47,444
Fred, would you sell Lamont?
43
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,234
How much?
44
00:02:52,039 --> 00:02:55,585
No, no, I can't sell this horse.
45
00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:57,454
This is a living,
breathing thing.
46
00:02:57,478 --> 00:02:59,789
It's got a heart.
It's got a lung.
47
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:00,957
It's got a liver.
48
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:04,349
It's got a strong
back, all that stuff.
49
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,764
I'll tell you what.
50
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,199
I'll throw in $10 extra
51
00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:14,304
for this living,
breathing, stinking horse.
52
00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:16,873
Are you kidding?
53
00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:19,409
Ten dollars for a thoroughbred?
54
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:20,877
Or a pet, thorough pet.
55
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:22,078
I... I heard that.
56
00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:24,013
You said thoroughbred.
That's what you said.
57
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,182
He's a thoroughbred.
58
00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:27,917
Well... So, what if I did?
59
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:30,375
How did Perkins
get a thoroughbred?
60
00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:33,423
He stole him.
61
00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:34,491
Stole him?
62
00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:35,692
That makes you a horse thief.
63
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:36,693
No, it don't.
64
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:39,229
He stole him. I bought him.
65
00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:43,667
Well, it makes you a
horse thief once removed,
66
00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:45,435
and once removed,
67
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:47,704
a horse thief
gets from 10 to 20.
68
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,207
Yeah, well, I don't know
why anybody'd want
69
00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:51,675
to buy a horse like this anyway.
70
00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:53,076
I mean, what are you gonna do
71
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:54,211
with a thoroughbred racing horse
72
00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:55,612
if he can't race anymore?
73
00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:56,779
Yeah, that's right.
74
00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:58,381
I'll give you 20 for him.
75
00:03:58,405 --> 00:03:59,416
$20?
76
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:00,450
Yeah.
77
00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:02,985
For the senior
citizen Secretariat?
78
00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:07,957
20 for the horse,
50 for the wagon,
79
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:09,848
take or leave it, or lump it.
80
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:15,599
Well... Going once.
81
00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:17,601
Well... Going twice.
82
00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:18,801
Well...
83
00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:21,460
That's your last trip
to the "well," Calvin.
84
00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:25,542
Well, I'll take it.
85
00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:27,432
Well, I'll go get it.
86
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,981
What did I tell
you, General Lee?
87
00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:34,217
You can fool some of the
people some of the time,
88
00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:37,108
but Fred Sanford, always.
89
00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:45,194
♪ Fools rush in Where
wise men never go ♪
90
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:52,469
♪ I'm gonna buy a thoroughbred
And make a lot of dough ♪
91
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:54,359
♪ Da da da da ♪
92
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,677
♪ Da da ♪♪
93
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,145
That's the money...
94
00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:04,770
He's so dumb and so
smart at the same time.
95
00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:12,221
Well... Goodbye, General Lee.
96
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:14,291
Here you go, 70 bucks.
97
00:05:14,315 --> 00:05:15,458
Thank you.
98
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,727
Take a good care of
yourself, General Lee.
99
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:20,963
Fred, please, take
care of him. Okay.
100
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:24,301
Here's his papers...
Right. And his hat.
101
00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:26,670
Good. You got a real...
102
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:29,071
You got a real
bargain there, Fred.
103
00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:31,608
Calvin.
104
00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:32,909
Goodbye, Grady.
105
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,093
Oh, oh, oh.
106
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:36,879
You... You know,
107
00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:38,481
in all the years
that I've known him,
108
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:39,549
that's the first time
109
00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:41,606
we ever had a real conversation.
110
00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:47,791
Whose horse is this, Fred?
111
00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:49,058
He's mine, Grady.
112
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:50,126
You're looking
113
00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:51,761
at a million dollar
worth of horse.
114
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:53,496
Oh, yeah? Where is it?
115
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,387
Behind this one?
116
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:59,436
No, Grady, this one.
117
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:02,739
Oh, this horse don't look like
he's worth anything to me, Fred.
118
00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:04,173
That's because you
don't know nothing
119
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,375
about horses.
120
00:06:05,399 --> 00:06:07,944
See, this ain't just
a junkwagon horse.
121
00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:09,078
This is a racehorse.
122
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,747
This is a racehorse?
123
00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:11,914
That's right.
124
00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:13,883
Well, I'll tell you what, Fred.
125
00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:15,284
You bring over the
turtle he's racing,
126
00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:17,942
and I'll bet $2.00
on the turtle.
127
00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:23,192
See, he ain't racing anymore.
128
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:26,295
Well, you can say that again.
129
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,600
He ain't racing anymore.
130
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:32,836
Say... Say, Fred,
will you please tell me
131
00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:34,738
why you bought that horse?
132
00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:35,938
Same reason
133
00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:38,074
them millionaires
bought Secretariat
134
00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:39,576
when he finished racing.
135
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:40,943
And why was that?
136
00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:42,345
To make him a proud father.
137
00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:43,346
I don't get it.
138
00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:45,348
He will.
139
00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:46,649
Come over... Come
over here, Grady,
140
00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:48,251
and let me clear it up for you.
141
00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:50,487
Yeah, yeah, clear
it up for me, Fred.
142
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:54,290
See, a stud racehorse,
now, that's a horse
143
00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:56,393
that when he gets
finished racing,
144
00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:58,361
they take him out to the farm,
145
00:06:58,385 --> 00:07:01,230
and... and then they
put some mares around,
146
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,700
and then one night,
when the moon is mellow,
147
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:06,903
and they full of
oats, and they...
148
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:09,372
See, it's like the
birds and the bees.
149
00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:11,830
Oh, yeah, now I got it...
150
00:07:13,199 --> 00:07:15,177
The birds and the bees.
151
00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:18,214
And every time an owner wants
152
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,750
to mate his mare
with Secretariat,
153
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,252
they've got to pay $100,000.
154
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:24,754
Good goobledy-goo.
155
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:29,125
You see, if my horse
can just get 2000, 3000,
156
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:30,159
I'd be rich.
157
00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:31,394
Oh, wow.
158
00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:34,898
How... How often you
think he can do that?
159
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:38,457
I figure every Saturday night...
160
00:07:42,228 --> 00:07:44,563
Or early Sunday morning.
161
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:51,570
Listen, Grady, he knows
the weekend's coming.
162
00:07:55,108 --> 00:07:56,419
Say, say, Fred,
163
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:58,054
did you tell Lamont about this?
164
00:07:58,078 --> 00:07:59,522
No, I'm going to surprise him.
165
00:07:59,546 --> 00:08:01,591
Oh, how are you
going to surprise him?
166
00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:02,692
He's gonna see the horse
167
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:05,462
as soon he drives
up on the truck.
168
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:07,964
Yeah, maybe I'd better hide him.
169
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:11,434
Well... It ain't easy
to hide a horse, Fred.
170
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:13,202
Nothing's easy for you, Grady.
171
00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:16,339
See, it's when you got
a nimble brain like mine
172
00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:19,642
that difficult problems
become easy.
173
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,812
Oh. Where are you
gonna hide him, Fred?
174
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,636
In the kitchen.
175
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:29,953
You know that... That...
That's why you're a genius.
176
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,325
I never would
have thought of that.
177
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,909
I'd have hid him
in the bathroom.
178
00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:42,031
Goodbye, Grady.
179
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:43,666
Yeah, see you later, Fred.
180
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,334
Better to hide him
in the bathroom...
181
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,692
In the kitchen...
182
00:08:49,997 --> 00:08:51,796
Come on, General.
183
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:54,978
Come on, General.
184
00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:58,180
Come on in here where I
can hide you from Lamont.
185
00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,483
Easy now. Come on in.
186
00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:03,586
He won't know know what
to say when he sees you.
187
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:05,955
Just come on with me,
and take your time, now.
188
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:08,224
Don't knock nothing
over. Come on with me.
189
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:10,259
There you go.
190
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:12,662
You stay... Ooh, easy now.
191
00:09:12,686 --> 00:09:15,965
You stay right in here.
Right there. That's swell.
192
00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:17,366
Okay?
193
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,602
Now, wait a minute. I've
got something for you.
194
00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:23,406
Uh, oops. Wait a
minute, wait a minute.
195
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:24,607
I'd better not give you this.
196
00:09:24,631 --> 00:09:26,075
Sugar is fattening,
197
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:28,678
and I want you nice
and slim and trim
198
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:31,247
for your first date.
199
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:35,351
What's Lamont
doing home this early?
200
00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:38,176
Wait a minute. Don't move.
201
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:49,120
Shh, shh... Shh, shh.
202
00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:01,277
Hey, Pop,
203
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:02,879
what's that wagonload
of junk doing in the yard?
204
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:05,314
Well, you see,
Dan Perkins retired,
205
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:07,850
and he sold it to Calvin,
and I bought it from Calvin.
206
00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:08,851
How much?
207
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:09,919
70 bucks.
208
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:12,021
$70! Are you crazy, Pop?
209
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:13,656
That isn't even worth $20,
210
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,458
and besides, I got
to get the truck fixed,
211
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:17,794
and we only had
about $80 in the house.
212
00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:20,262
How could you spend
$70 on that junk?
213
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:22,231
Sit down, son. I got a
little surprise for you.
214
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:23,566
I don't want no surprises, Pop.
215
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:24,567
I'm starving.
216
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:25,602
I've been working all day.
217
00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:27,892
I want food.
218
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:05,030
Pop, what's that horse
doing in the kitchen?
219
00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:20,879
Uh... How should I
know? You saw him last.
220
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:26,162
Pop, I want an answer.
221
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,263
Well, that's simple.
222
00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:28,965
I don't want a lie.
223
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:31,134
That makes it harder.
224
00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:32,135
That's Perkins'
225
00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:33,770
old horse, isn't it?
226
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:37,439
Son, let me tell you,
that is not a horse.
227
00:11:37,463 --> 00:11:39,330
That's your inheritance.
228
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:45,447
See, I... I can breed him
and get $1000 a breed.
229
00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:48,751
Well, we're going to
need a bigger kitchen.
230
00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:50,153
No, what I mean is...
231
00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:51,353
I know what you mean, Pop,
232
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:52,488
and I think it's ridiculous.
233
00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:54,023
I mean, how do we even know
234
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,357
that that horse is
a thoroughbred?
235
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:56,458
I've got the papers.
236
00:11:56,482 --> 00:11:58,895
Well, where are
we gonna find mares
237
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,163
to breed with him, Pop?
238
00:12:00,187 --> 00:12:03,365
Are we gonna take him
on The Dating Game?
239
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:06,969
Stop trying to fight
being a millionaire.
240
00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:07,970
Look, if that horse
241
00:12:07,994 --> 00:12:09,538
is such a valuable thoroughbred,
242
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:10,807
how come he's
pulling a junkwagon
243
00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:12,875
instead of lying
around on some farm
244
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:14,010
between dates?
245
00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:15,712
Well, it's a possibility
246
00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:17,646
he could've been stolen.
247
00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:19,749
You mean to tell
me that horse is hot?
248
00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:23,908
Hot? I hope he's a nymphomaniac.
249
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:33,863
Here you go, General, a
little after-breakfast fruit.
250
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:35,653
Beautiful.
251
00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:40,669
Good morning, son.
Did you sleep good?
252
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:42,805
No, it was... Not too good, Pop.
253
00:12:42,829 --> 00:12:44,941
I was cold all night.
254
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:47,832
Seems like
somebody stole my bl...
255
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,548
My blanket. That's my blanket!
256
00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:54,583
Well, son, I would
have used mine,
257
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:58,154
but you know the cold
is bad for my arthritis.
258
00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:02,191
You... You put my
blanket on a horse?
259
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:05,128
Well, you can
get it back tonight.
260
00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:06,517
Well, what about the smell?
261
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,354
He didn't seem to mind it.
262
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,038
I don't believe this, man.
263
00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:17,406
I just don't believe this.
264
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:18,440
Why don't you believe it?
265
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:19,441
What's wrong
266
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:20,743
with me wanting
my horse attractive?
267
00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:23,146
Well, why does he have
to look attractive, Pop?
268
00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:26,082
We can always dim
the lights in his stall.
269
00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:28,851
I want General Lee
here to feel sharp
270
00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:31,854
so when Mr. Crenshaw
gets here, he's okay.
271
00:13:31,878 --> 00:13:33,022
Crenshaw? Who is that?
272
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:34,023
Who is that?
273
00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:35,024
Yeah.
274
00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:36,058
He's the biggest horse breeder
275
00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:37,359
in the southwest.
276
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:38,360
So?
277
00:13:38,384 --> 00:13:41,497
So I'm selling General Lee here.
278
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:42,598
Are you nuts?
279
00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:44,566
No, really.
280
00:13:44,590 --> 00:13:46,135
I'm selling General Lee,
281
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,271
and then I'll get me
a whole lot of money
282
00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:49,672
all at once.
283
00:13:49,696 --> 00:13:51,674
You think this guy
Crenshaw is going be so dumb
284
00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:53,475
that he's not gonna
know this horse is stolen?
285
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,644
You think I don't know
nothing, don't you?
286
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,146
You think I got me no sense.
287
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,347
You think I got no brains.
288
00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:01,517
Keep going. You're
still on the S's.
289
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:02,518
Listen. Let me tell you.
290
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:05,188
See, Calvin called
up a friend of his
291
00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:06,289
who's an attorney,
292
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:09,658
and he said that I can't
be arrested anymore
293
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:10,726
for a horse thief
294
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:12,750
because it's past the
statue of elimination.
295
00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:16,398
The what?
296
00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:17,934
Elimination,
297
00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:20,303
past the statue of
elimination, dummy.
298
00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:22,205
That's the statute
of limitations.
299
00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:24,640
That too.
300
00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:26,042
I've got it, Fred. I've got it.
301
00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:27,076
You've got it? Yeah.
302
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:28,477
Well, come on in
the house, Grady.
303
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:29,611
All right.
304
00:14:29,635 --> 00:14:30,646
What?
305
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:31,981
Wow, what a coincidence,
306
00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:35,718
that looks just like
Lamont's blanket.
307
00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:37,987
Hi, Lamont. What's the matter?
308
00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:39,455
Can't you speak
to an old friend?
309
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:40,857
Yeah, I was just
about... I mean,
310
00:14:40,881 --> 00:14:42,825
somebody that's known
you since you were a baby
311
00:14:42,849 --> 00:14:43,893
comes over to your house,
312
00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:45,194
and you can't even say hello?
313
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,462
Yeah, I was just...
314
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:48,364
Somebody who took care of
you when your father was away,
315
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:49,365
stands before you
316
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:50,566
and you can't even say hello.
317
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:51,800
I was just about...
318
00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:54,503
Lamont, I don't deserve
to be insulted like that.
319
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:56,973
Hi, Grady.
320
00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:58,863
Oh, hi, Lamont.
321
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:04,380
Say, Grady, did you
look General Lee up?
322
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,215
No, no, I didn't
have time, Fred.
323
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:08,351
I rushed right over
from the library.
324
00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:09,752
Say, what's that book about?
325
00:15:09,776 --> 00:15:11,888
This is a book about
thoroughbred horses
326
00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:13,155
and all their records
and everything.
327
00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:14,190
Look here.
328
00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:17,559
That's General Lee, born 1959.
329
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:19,161
That's nine times seven,
330
00:15:19,185 --> 00:15:21,563
goes into 38, multiply...
331
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,632
You know, he's 15 years old.
332
00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:25,134
Wow.
333
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:27,536
That would make him about
65 if he was a person, Pop.
334
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,471
Yeah, he's pretty
far gone, Fred.
335
00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:31,307
What are you
talking about, Grady?
336
00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:32,942
I'm around 65,
337
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:35,544
and I'm just in the
prime of my life.
338
00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:37,914
When was the last
time you were a father?
339
00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:40,805
That's none of your business...
340
00:15:45,011 --> 00:15:48,090
And it's none of my business,
341
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:51,593
but it's... but it's going to
be General Lee's business.
342
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,595
He was some kind of a horse.
343
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:54,730
Looky here.
344
00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:58,067
"General Lee, by
Confederate Lad,
345
00:15:58,091 --> 00:16:00,069
out of Carolina Belle."
346
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:01,404
You hear that, Lamont?
347
00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:03,005
Yeah. So what?
348
00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:07,410
He won $200,000
as a three-year-old.
349
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:08,945
And you're 32
350
00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:11,414
and ain't never seen $200,000.
351
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,682
He... He pulled up lame
352
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:16,518
in a stake race
for four-year-olds
353
00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:18,620
and was retired.
354
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:19,688
G.
355
00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:22,258
What?
356
00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:23,625
G.
357
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:26,628
I heard the "gee." "Gee" what?
358
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:27,863
"G" nothing.
359
00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:29,765
That's what it has
in the description.
360
00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:30,967
Does it say what it means?
361
00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:33,202
No, I guess it means "girl."
362
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:35,004
Let me see.
363
00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:36,305
Girl? Yeah.
364
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:39,308
Now, why would they
name a horse, a girl horse,
365
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:40,709
General Lee?
366
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:44,402
I don't know, maybe
he was in the WACs.
367
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:50,219
"G" means "gelded."
368
00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:52,521
What does that mean?
369
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:54,090
It means you were right.
370
00:16:54,114 --> 00:16:57,059
That horse was in the WACs?
371
00:16:57,083 --> 00:17:01,452
No, Grady, it
means... that he's...
372
00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:08,604
What do you mean, Fred?
373
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:11,907
It means we're
finished, and so is he.
374
00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:13,175
I don't understand.
375
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,011
Grady, the horse has been fixed.
376
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:16,012
Fixed?
377
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:18,147
Yeah, see, he's fixed.
378
00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:20,082
He can't have no babies.
379
00:17:20,106 --> 00:17:21,150
Well, why not?
380
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:24,775
Because he had a
"horseterectomy."
381
00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:38,022
The poor horse.
382
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:43,305
Maybe he can adopt, Fred.
383
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:44,340
Shut up.
384
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:45,374
Hey, Pop,
385
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:48,277
Pop, how come
you didn't know that?
386
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:50,712
I don't know how to know that.
387
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,315
All I know is four
things about horses:
388
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:57,886
win, place, and show,
and tearing up tickets,
389
00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,388
and neither one of those
390
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:01,490
got anything to do
with either one of these.
391
00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:03,259
At least we know that
the horse is not stolen.
392
00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:04,493
Perkins probably
picked that horse up
393
00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:05,494
for a song.
394
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:07,763
By a soprano.
395
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:10,299
Shut up, Grady.
396
00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:14,002
How did you let Calvin con
you into buying a lemon like that?
397
00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:15,604
Pop, I mean, how
could you do that?
398
00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:19,708
Nobody cons Fred Sanford.
I insisted on buying him.
399
00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:21,243
Yeah, well, you better
insist on something,
400
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:23,112
because that guy Crenshaw
is coming over here,
401
00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:24,947
and he's gonna take
one look at that horse,
402
00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:27,049
and he's gonna know the
whole story behind him.
403
00:18:27,073 --> 00:18:28,350
I'll change the name.
404
00:18:28,374 --> 00:18:30,252
Yeah, a lot of good
that's gonna do.
405
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:33,822
He'll look at that horse, and
he'll know it's been gelded.
406
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:35,324
Well, we've got to think.
407
00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:36,858
I've got an idea.
408
00:18:36,882 --> 00:18:38,227
Shut up, Grady.
409
00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:40,118
Yeah, that's good too.
410
00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:55,411
I don't believe this.
411
00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:58,114
If I live to be 357 years old,
412
00:18:58,138 --> 00:19:00,048
I won't believe this.
413
00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:01,049
How does he look?
414
00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:04,186
Like Al Capone.
415
00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:09,625
Oh... Well, perhaps
the hat is a bit much.
416
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:10,959
Yeah, yeah, the hat.
417
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,228
The hat should go,
418
00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:15,397
because the pants look normal.
419
00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:16,932
I'm trying to say...
420
00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:18,634
I... I know this is stupid,
421
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,302
and I've done it
again and again,
422
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,471
and... and... and I'm just dumb.
423
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:23,472
I guess it's stupid,
424
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:24,873
but I didn't do it for me.
425
00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:25,941
Oh, I know, Pop.
426
00:19:25,965 --> 00:19:27,943
I did it for you.
Oh, sure, I know.
427
00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:30,212
I wanted you to have
the things I never had.
428
00:19:30,236 --> 00:19:31,980
Well, I'm just happy
to have the things
429
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,871
that he doesn't have.
430
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:44,460
Uh-huh, there's
that guy Crenshaw.
431
00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:46,928
Yeah. Listen, what
you gonna tell him?
432
00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:48,330
What am I gonna tell him? Yeah.
433
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:50,499
I'm gonna say, "Hi. I'm
Lamont. This is my father.
434
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:51,700
Wait till you hear this."
435
00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:54,470
Oh, just... just stay
out of it. Just leave.
436
00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:55,771
I'll take care of it myself.
437
00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:56,772
Mr. Sanford?
438
00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,040
Yes.
439
00:19:58,064 --> 00:19:59,175
John Crenshaw.
440
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:00,242
It's a pleasure.
441
00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:02,778
Uh, Mr. Crenshaw,
this is my son, Lamont.
442
00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:04,446
How you doing? How do you do?
443
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:06,148
The pants...
444
00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:07,916
Yeah, the pants.
They're nice, aren't they?
445
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,051
Where did you get them?
446
00:20:09,075 --> 00:20:10,752
No, I mean the horse's pants.
447
00:20:10,776 --> 00:20:12,921
Oh, that's my idea.
448
00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:14,856
I thought since he's
such a great racehorse,
449
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,826
I would just keep his legs warm.
450
00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:19,027
Steady, fellow. Steady, fellow.
451
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,884
This horse is...
452
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:26,402
This horse is obviously
past his racing days,
453
00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:27,503
Mr. Sanford.
454
00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:30,472
Mr. Crenshaw, we're
not discussing racing.
455
00:20:30,496 --> 00:20:32,736
We're discussing chasing.
456
00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:35,644
What did you have in mind?
457
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:37,680
Well, I was gonna
sell him to a breeder.
458
00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:39,848
I see, and you have the papers
459
00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:41,317
to prove that he's thoroughbred?
460
00:20:41,341 --> 00:20:44,253
Sure, and as soon as
we finish making our deal,
461
00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:47,055
I'll go in the house
and try to find them.
462
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,390
Uh-huh.
463
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:49,825
What's his name?
464
00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:51,527
Uh, General Lee.
465
00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:52,595
General Lee?
466
00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:55,264
Yeah, born in 1959.
467
00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:57,199
1959, yes.
468
00:20:57,223 --> 00:20:58,334
Yeah...
469
00:20:58,358 --> 00:21:03,972
He was of Confederate
Lad out of Carolina Belle.
470
00:21:03,996 --> 00:21:07,643
And that's not all he's out of.
471
00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:10,312
Goodbye, inheritance.
472
00:21:10,336 --> 00:21:12,481
You're trying to
sell me a gelding
473
00:21:12,505 --> 00:21:14,950
for breeding
purpose, Mr. Sanford?
474
00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:17,152
Gelding? A gelding?
475
00:21:17,176 --> 00:21:19,722
I... I didn't know this
was a gelding horse.
476
00:21:19,746 --> 00:21:21,590
I thought it was a racehorse.
477
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:23,191
Come on, Pop, the race is over.
478
00:21:23,215 --> 00:21:26,828
Mr. Sanford, just...
Just how much
479
00:21:26,852 --> 00:21:29,164
did you think you
could get for this horse?
480
00:21:29,188 --> 00:21:32,901
Oh, 100,000, 50,000.
481
00:21:32,925 --> 00:21:36,004
I'd even settle for 30,000.
482
00:21:36,028 --> 00:21:37,773
Would you take 25?
483
00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:39,341
25,000?
484
00:21:39,365 --> 00:21:42,144
No, $25.
485
00:21:42,168 --> 00:21:44,079
$25?
486
00:21:44,103 --> 00:21:45,381
That's right.
487
00:21:45,405 --> 00:21:48,384
You see, Mr. Sanford, we
horsemen are sentimentalists.
488
00:21:48,408 --> 00:21:50,419
General Lee was
a marvelous horse
489
00:21:50,443 --> 00:21:51,920
in his day,
490
00:21:51,944 --> 00:21:55,157
and I would rather spend
$25 to keep him in a pasture
491
00:21:55,181 --> 00:21:58,160
than to see him
pulling a junkwagon.
492
00:21:58,184 --> 00:22:00,896
Well, I'm a sentimentalist too,
493
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,565
and I wouldn't part
with him for less that 50.
494
00:22:03,589 --> 00:22:06,368
Well, in that case...
Wait a minute.
495
00:22:06,392 --> 00:22:08,337
How... How about 30,
496
00:22:08,361 --> 00:22:10,205
and I'll throw in the pants?
497
00:22:10,229 --> 00:22:12,062
That's a deal.
498
00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:16,934
Come on, General
Lee. You're going home.
499
00:22:19,505 --> 00:22:21,305
So long, General.
500
00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:30,058
Well, at least you
got something out of it.
501
00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:31,493
Yeah, I didn't do too bad.
502
00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:33,329
There's one thing I
can't understand, Pop.
503
00:22:33,353 --> 00:22:35,431
Why would they geld a
horse in the first place?
504
00:22:35,455 --> 00:22:40,502
Well, maybe it'll
make him run faster.
505
00:22:40,526 --> 00:22:41,770
How could that be?
506
00:22:41,794 --> 00:22:44,540
Well, I know if they
was gonna do that to me,
507
00:22:44,564 --> 00:22:46,530
I'd run faster.
508
00:22:57,209 --> 00:22:58,787
How was dinner?
509
00:22:58,811 --> 00:23:00,556
Hey, man, your
voice is getting better.
510
00:23:00,580 --> 00:23:02,825
Yeah, I mixed some
lemon and honey.
511
00:23:02,849 --> 00:23:04,192
Oh, great.
512
00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:07,128
Yeah, and I mixed in some
hot buttermilk and butter...
513
00:23:07,152 --> 00:23:08,364
Right.
514
00:23:08,388 --> 00:23:10,866
And added some
orange juice for vitamin C
515
00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:14,202
and a little onion salt
to get it all working.
516
00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:17,639
How... How could you drink that?
517
00:23:17,663 --> 00:23:19,475
I didn't drink it.
518
00:23:19,499 --> 00:23:22,411
I rubbed it on my throat.
519
00:23:22,435 --> 00:23:23,545
Oh, Pop.
520
00:23:23,569 --> 00:23:25,547
Hey, how was dinner? Which one?
521
00:23:25,571 --> 00:23:26,548
That one.
522
00:23:26,572 --> 00:23:29,451
Oh, was this dinner?
523
00:23:29,475 --> 00:23:33,589
I thought this was a
test for tongue tolerance.
524
00:23:33,613 --> 00:23:36,925
Don't be smart. What
was wrong with it?
525
00:23:36,949 --> 00:23:38,527
Well, everything was overcooked.
526
00:23:38,551 --> 00:23:39,528
The roast was leathery,
527
00:23:39,552 --> 00:23:40,696
and that's the first time
528
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:43,999
I ever ate hashed
black potatoes.
529
00:23:44,023 --> 00:23:45,367
I'm sorry, son.
530
00:23:45,391 --> 00:23:47,703
I just can't get poor
General Lee off my mind.
531
00:23:47,727 --> 00:23:49,505
Why, Pop? What happened?
532
00:23:49,529 --> 00:23:51,139
Well, I got a call
from Mr. Crenshaw.
533
00:23:51,163 --> 00:23:52,240
What did he want?
534
00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:53,542
Well, he said that General Lee
535
00:23:53,566 --> 00:23:54,743
is doing fine.
536
00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:56,344
Well, what's wrong with that?
537
00:23:56,368 --> 00:23:57,579
That's good.
538
00:23:57,603 --> 00:23:59,515
Yeah, and he loves
it in the new pasture,
539
00:23:59,539 --> 00:24:01,049
and he seems to be very happy.
540
00:24:01,073 --> 00:24:02,350
He's living with another horse.
541
00:24:02,374 --> 00:24:03,685
Wait a minute.
542
00:24:03,709 --> 00:24:05,487
General Lee is living
with another horse?
543
00:24:05,511 --> 00:24:08,679
Yeah, General Grant.
36872
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