Original subtitles

COMMERCIAL ANNOUNCER: REDMOND'S FURNITURE, LOCATED IN DOWNTOWN DARTMOUTH,

FOR ALL YOUR FURNITURE AND MOVING NEEDS.

CHARGES TO HALIFAX DELIVERIES, UNFORTUNATELY, APPLY.

SALES WOMAN: I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.

ANNOUNCER: REDMOND'S FEATURES A LUXURIOUS SHOWROOM OF QUALITY FURNITURE.

OUR FULLY BONDED AND INSURED TEAM OF MOVING PROFESSIONALS

WILL ASSEMBLE AND INSTALLANYTHING YOU BUY FROM REDMOND'S

REDMOND'S, THIS MONTH ONLY,

OUR ANNUAL SPRING CLEAN-UP SALE.

TRADE IN YOUR OLD FURNITURE - EVEN JUNK.

MOVER: AT REDMOND'S, WE DON'T HAVE JUNK!

SMASH IT UP, 'CAUSE IT'S JUNK! JUNK!

COME ON DOWN TO REDMOND'S!

ANNOUNCER: REDMOND'S!

THERE'S NO NEED TO GO ANYWHERE ELSE.

ISN'T THAT RIGHT, LITTLE BUDDY?

(DOG BARKS)

RADIO ANNOUNCER: WITH BJ AND THE Q-MORNING CREW, GREASY GARY IS OFF LIVE TODAY-

(RADIO CLICKS OFF, TELEPHONE RINGS)

(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) WOMAN: HEY, CLYDE, WAKE UP.

I KNOW YOU'RE LYING THERE LISTENING TO ME.

SO WHAT, DO I HIRE A MIND READER

TO TELL ME WHAT DATES YOU WANT THE KIDS TO COME TO VISIT,

BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T SAID -FOR SURE THE 14TH AND 15 -TH.

I CAN'T BOOK TICKETS. CALL ME BACK IMMEDIATELY!

GET UP!

(SONG STARTS) * Freeze Frame! ♪

♪

(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) EX-WIFE: HEY CLYDE, IT'S ME... AGAIN.

HERE, THE KIDS WANNA SAY HI.

HI DADDY! CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU!

AH...

CAN I GET A "YEAH"? YEAH! YEAH!

CAN I GET A "HELL YEAH"? BETH: HELL YEAH!

EX-WIFE: RYAN! THAT IS ENOUGH!

-THE 14TH AND 15 -TH,

MAKE SURE YOU GET THE TIME OFF WORK,

AND LET ME KNOW ABOUT THE FLIGHTS.

♪ Her lipstick reflex got me wild ♪

♪ There were no defects to be found ♪

♪ Snapshot and it's froze without a sound ♪

♪ Thursday morning was a hot flash-factor ♪

♪ Her face still focused in my mind ♪

♪ Test-strip proof-sheet love is hard to find ♪

CEDRIC: CLYDESDALE! LET'S GO!

HEY! SORRY, CEDRIC. I WAS JUST ROCKING MY J-DIALS.

CEDRIC: YEAH, ALL RIGHT.

MORNING, AJ!

♪ Stop-time heart for me if she's not mine ♪

♪ Freeze frame! Freeze frame ♪

♪ Freeze frame! Freeze frame! ♪

AJ: (ANNOYED) COME ON! CEDRIC: CHECK IT OUT, BOYS! SHIT!

CLYDE: OH MAN! AJ: FUCK!

CEDRIC: HEY, LOOK AT THESE MOTHERFUCKERS RIGHT HERE.

SHIT... (LAUGHS) LOOK AT THAT ONE!

THAT MOTHERFUCKER LOOK JUST LIKE ALFRED HITCHCOCK, MAN.

HE HAS A BIG ASS BOTTOM LIP;

THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL A SOUP-COOLING LIP.

YOU COOL OFF A BOWL OF SOUP IN ONE BLOW. (BLOWS)

(IMITATING HITCHCOCK) GOOD EVENING!

WHO... WHO'S ALFRED HITCHCOCK?

HE WAS THIS BIG FAT DUDE

WHO USED TO NARRATE HORROR AND SUSPENSE FILMS

-BACK IN THE '50 -S AND SHIT.

HE'D SCARE THE SHIT OUTTA MOTHERFUCKERS, TOO.

APPARENTLY HE GOT A LOT OF PUSSY.

I WAS WATCHING THAT ON BIOGRAPHY.

REALLY? YEAH, MAN.

ALL THESE MOTHERFUCKERS YOU'RE LOOKING AT RIGHT HERE,

ALL OF THEM ARE SCHINK, MAN.

THEY WORK FOR THE CITY; THEY START OFF $16 AN HOUR,

OVERTIME, HOLIDAYS OFF, WEEKENDS OFF.

FUCKIN' DREAM JOB.

HOLD ON, CEDRIC. THEY MAKE $16 AN HOUR TO START?

THAT IS A DREAM JOB.

OH MAN, I'D GIVE ANYTHING TO WORK FOR THE CITY, HUH?

GET IN LINE, BUDDY.

EVERYBODY WANTS TO WORK FOR THE CITY.

BUT I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING,

UNLESS YOU KNOW SOMEBODY, YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE.

I HEARD THAT-I HEARD YOU GOTTA KNOW SOMEONE TO...

HEY, WELL, GET YOUR ASS OUT THERE

AND GET TO KNOW SOMEBODY, MAN. YOU KNOW?

YOU SEE THAT GUY RIGHT THERE - HIM?

THAT COULD BE YOU, CLYDE.

(FLUSTERED) D... NO.

OKAY. I'M GONNA TELL YOU RIGHT NOW,

YOU BETTER GET OVER THAT,

OR YOU'RE GONNA BE 90 YEAR'S OLD,

STILL MOVING FURNITURE.

AND AT 90, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE COUCH.

THE COUCH AIN'T SUPPOSED TO BE ON YOU.

RIGHT.

YOU LOOK JUST LIKE THAT MOTHERFUCKER, MAN.

CEDRIC: HEY AL! CLYDE: NO, CEDRIC!

CEDRIC: HEY AL! CLYDE: CEDRIC!

(BLASTS HORN)

DON'T! FUCK! DON'T HONK THE FUCKIN' HORN, DUDE!

HEY AL! HEY, MY FRIEND HERE WANTS TO KNOW

HOW HE CAN GET A JOB WORKING FOR THE CITY, MAN!

OKAY, NO, I DON'T.

TURN THE FUCKING SIGN, PLEASE!

HOLY SHIT!

HONESTLY. YEAH, HI.

CEDRIC: I KNOW YOU BANGED A LOT OFCHICKS WITH THAT JACKET ON, AL.

HEY! ALL RIGHT, GUYS, LET'S DO THIS!

GOT IT?

UNGH! ALL RIGHT!

BAH!

(PREPARATORY GRUNTS, RINGS DOORBELL)

EEEE-YAH! NOT THE BOXING.

GUYS! GUYS!

SHUT THE FUCK UP! BE QUIET, COME ON!

CEDRIC: GETTING PUMPED MAN!

CLYDE: HE ALWAYS GETS LIKE THIS EVERY MORNING. I DON'T KNOW WHY.

(KICKS RAMP) FUCK!

HOLY SHIT! HONESTLY?

YOU HAVE TO BE THAT FUCKING LOUD? COME ON!

CLYDE: WHY?

YOU'RE GONNA GET US FUCKING FIRED BEFORE WE EVEN START!

SHUT UP, COME ON!

NO, ABSOLUTELY. THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE,

IF YOU DON'T MIND ME SAYING SO.

THANK YOU.

OH, UH, ALL THAT STUFF THERE, GUYS,

IF YOU WANT THAT FISH TANK AND THOSE DUMBBELLS,

PLEASE TAKE 'EM.

YOU CAN HAVE THAT PAINTING TOO.

WHAT YOU GONNA DO WITH DUMBBELLS AND A FISH TANK?

CEDRIC, LOOK AT THIS! IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

PIANO MOM: OH, AJ, THIS IS MY SON, MARK, AND HIS BUDDIES.

THEY'RE GONNA HELP YOU OUT TODAY, IF THAT'S OKAY.

OH. IS THAT OKAY?

SOUNDS GOOD.

(OVERLAPPING CHATTER AS EVERYONE PITCHES IN)

AJ: NO, THAT'S FINE. WE CAN WRAP THE REMAINDER.

CLYDE: EXCUSE ME, SORRY.

AJ: I'LL GO WRAP THAT MYSELF.

CLYDE: SORRY, CEDRIC.

AJ: HOW'S IT LOOKING ON THE SECOND FLOOR, BUDDY?

LOOKING REAL GOOD - GOT ABOUT FIFTEEN PIECES LEFT.

JUST THE PIANO LEFT.

AJ: YES. OKAY. WE'RE GONNA DO THIS NOW.

OKAY, GENTLEMEN, LET'S DO IT.

MARK: ACTUALLY, IT'S ALL RIGHT. WE'VE GOT THIS ONE.

MARK, HONEY, COME ON, YOU GUYS HAVE WORKED SO HARD TODAY;

THAT'S... THAT'S ENOUGH.

AND TO BE HONEST,

THESE ARE A LITTLE TRICKIER THAN YOU THINK.

I SAID WE GOT IT. THANKS, BRO.

AJ OKAY, EASY TIGER. I'M TALKING TO YOUR MOM, OKAY?

PIANO MOM: MARKY, PLEASE, JUST...

JUST BE CAREFUL, WILL YOU, SWEETHEART?

MOM, HONESTLY...

DON'T HURT YOURSELF, OKAY?

PLEASE, MOM, WOULD YOU JUST FUCK OFF?!

GO MAKE US SOME SANDWICHES OR SOMETHING; WE'RE STARVING.

(LAUGHS, EMBARRASSED) HE'S NOT USUALLY LIKE THAT. HE'S VERY SWEET. VERY SWEET.

YEAH, I'M SURE. HE SEEMS LIKE A NICE KID.

PIANO MOM: BE CAREFUL THERE!

MARK: HERE WE GO. OKAY, HERE WE GO.

(GRUNTS OF EFFORT)

CEDRIC: COME ON, MAN! MARK: HOLD IT, HOLD IT!

PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT, MAN, WHAT'S UP?!

OH MY GOD, MARK!

FUCKING HERNIA!

CLYDE: WHOOAAAAA!

(STRINGS REVERBERATE) UNNNNGGGGGHHHH!

AJ: YOU ALL RIGHT, BUDDY?

AGH!

FRIEND: DAMN!

CLYDE: (BREATHES OUT) FUCK...

AJ: NICE.

FUCKING GONG SHOW WITH THESE KIDS. YOU OKAY, MAN?

NO, MY ARM'S JUST HURT. I MEAN IT'S... YEAH, NO.

ALL RIGHT. GOOD JOB.

(WHISTLING) OH, SORRY.

IT'S OKAY. DON'T BE SORRY.

HEY, LISTEN, I CHECKED OUT THE PIANO AGAIN.

THERE'S NO DAMAGE AT ALL, SO IT'S FINE.

IT'S JUST THAT IT'S SO PRECIOUS TO US, YOU KNOW?

I SHOULD HAVE LET YOU MOVE IT.

HEY, HEY, HEY. MARY, IT'S PRECIOUS TO US TOO, YOU KNOW.

THANK YOU.

DON'T BE UPSET, OKAY? YOU'RE VERY SWEET.

I'M COMING IN FOR ONE, ALL RIGHT?

MARY: THANKS. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

MY PLEASURE.

(KISSES HER CHEEK) OKAY? SHHH...

AJ: MR. CLARK. MR. CLARK: YEAH.

AJ: HOW'RE YOU DOING?

MR. CLARK: GOOD. NOT GOOD.

WHAT TIME ZONE ARE YOU WORKING OUT OF?

I'VE BEEN WAITING HERE FOREVER.

RIGHT. YEAH, WE'RE A LITTLE LATE.

I HAD A BIG UNLOAD - PIANO-

YEAH, DON'T CARE. PIANOS. LET'S GO.

LET'S GO. I GOTTA DO THIS QUICK.

ALL RIGHT.

DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING. GO SIDEWAYS.

GO SIDEWAYS! SIDEWAYS!

IS THIS THE STUFF WE'RE-?

YEAH. SIDEWAYS...

CAUSE YOU MIGHT HIT SOMETHING.

(CLYDE GROANS IN PAIN)

YOU ALL RIGHT, CLYDESDALE?

YEAH, NO, I'M FINE. IT'S JUST IT, I...

YOU SURE? NO, I... YEAH, NO.

GET PSYCHED! COME ON, MAN, GET PUMPED! COME ON, MAN!

I MADE COOKIES, WOULD YOU LIKE ONE?

OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THERE ARE MORE COOKIES DOWN HERE!

CEDRIC! CEDRIC, YOU WANT A COOKIE?

HEY, COME ON, MAN,

WE'RE HERE TO EAT COOKIES OR MOVE, FURNITURE?

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

(MOUTH FULL) HOLD IT.

YEAH, WATCH YOUR FINGERS, ALL RIGHT?

(MOUTH FULL) IT'S MY SHOULDER, MAN!

YEAH, SLOW, SLOW, SLOW.

SLOW! (GROANS)

NICE AND SLOW.

(CLYDE GROANS, SHOULDER SNAPS) AGGGHHHHH!

(DRESSER CRASHES, AND SMASHES ON GROUND)

CEDRIC: OH SHIT.

THAT'S NOT GOOD, MAN.

MR. CLARK: LET ME CALL YOU BACK.

WHAT THE FUCK?!

CLYDE: SIR, I AM... I AM SO SORRY.

MARTHA: HONEY...?

MR. CLARK: I'M GONNA THROW UP.

MY GRANDFATHER MADE THAT.

AJ: UM... SIR, YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT THIS

'CAUSE WE ARE FULLY BONDED AND INSURED

FOR THESE TYPES OF ACCIDENTS, SO IT'S...

MR. CLARK: (QUIET, BITTER SARCASM) OH, OKAY, GOOD.

THEN I HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

SURE, FULLY BONDED AND INSURED.

CLYDE: YEAH, YEAH, WE'RE TOTALLY BONDED AND INSURED.

YOU'RE FULLY A MORON FOR JUST REPEATING WHAT HE DID.

CEDRIC: HOLD ON, MAN. ALL THIS AIN'T NECESSARY, MAN.

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

YOU KNOW WHAT? ACCIDENTS HAPPEN

AND YOU CAN SEE THIS MAN IS VERY UPSET, YOU KNOW?

YOU KNOW WHAT? SOMEONE'S GONNA PAY FOR THIS...

THIS DUMMY DANCE.

WHO IS THE BOSS?

WHO RUNS THIS PIECE OF SHIT "WE CARE" BULLSHIT COMPANY?

WHO'S THE BOSS?

THAT'S WILF REDMOND,

AND I'M GONNA GET HIM ON THE PHONE RIGHT NOW

AND HE'LL DEAL WITH IT.

WILF. WILF.

THERE YOU GO.

WILF? IS THAT YOUR NAME?

WILF: YES. YES, I UNDERSTAND.

OKAY, SEVENTY-FIVE HUNDRED. UH, WILL THAT COVER IT?

ALL RIGHT THEN, CONSIDER IT SETTLED, SHALL WE?

UH-HUH. YES.

DON'T WORRY, I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH MY EMPLOYEES.

GOODBYE.

(SIGHS HEAVILY)

GOD DAMMIT!

(DOG WHINES)

IT'S OKAY, LITTLE BUDDY, IT'S OKAY.

ALL RIGHT, MR. CLARK HAS AGREED TO SETTLE

AT $7500 FOR DAMAGES.

OKAY. $7500, CASH. WHY CASH, WILF?

WHY, WHY DON'T WE JUST PUT THROUGH THE INSURANCE?

LESS PAPERWORK.

OH.

HEY, LINDA CALLED. WILF WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.

OH, AND MORE GOOD NEWS, TOO. WILF DOUBLE-BOOKED US AGAIN,

SCREWED THE WHOLE FUCKIN' SCHEDULE UP.

CEDRIC: SEE WILF IS LOSING HIS FUCKING MIND.

MAN, WHAT DOES HE THINK WE ARE - ROBOTS AND SHIT?

CEDRIC, THINK WILF WILL FIRE ME?

PSHAW! I DON'T KNOW, MAN. I DON'T READ MINDS, MAN.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WILF GONNA DO.

AGH! AGH! AGH! PUT IT DOWN, PUT IT DOWN, PUT IT DOWN.

URGH! OH MY SHOULDER.

SEE? THAT'S EXACTLY WHY YOU NEED TO START

LOOKING INTO GETTING A JOB WITH THE CITY, BRO.

I KEEP TELLING YOU, MAN.

THAT'S NOT FOR ME.

I THINK YOU'RE FUCKING INSANE,

'CAUSE YOU WANNA CONTINUE BUSTING YOUR ASS FOR NO MONEY

AND LIFTING HEAVY SHIT.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING, CLYDESDALE?

I CAN TELL YOU'RE READY TO GIVE UP.

WELL, IF YOU'RE INTO GIVING UP, GIVE UP NOW.

LET'S START RIGHT NOW

AND GET THIS POOL TABLE THE FUCK UP ON THAT TRUCK,

'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GONNA BE DOIN'

THE REST OF LIFE, MAN.

I DON'T... I DON'T WANNA WORK AT REDMOND'S FOREVER.

JUST... NOT FOREVER.

IN FACT, WHY DON'T YOU TELL WILF

YOU WANT A PAY DECREASE,

'CAUSE YOU LIKE BUSTING YOUR ASS SO FUCKING MUCH.

LET'S BUST SOME ASS RIGHT NOW. COME ON.

FINE.

FUCK YOUR SHOULDER, MAN, ALL RIGHT?

ARRGGHH! AGH! GET WITH IT, MAN!

THIS IS YOUR JOB. THIS WAS YOUR DESTINY!

YEAH!

AJ?

CEDRIC: BIG STRONG, STRAPPING MAN...

YEAH, YOU'RE GOOD, YOU'RE GOOD, YOU'RE GOOD.

NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I... THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT, BUT...

OVER - COME ON, MAN. HONESTLY?

I UNDERSTAND. YEAH.

WELL, WHAT DID WILF SAY?

WILF SHIT HIMSELF REAL BAD OVER THIS.

OH SHIT.

HEY, CHIEF, ALL DONE?

YEAH, YEAH, WE GOT 'ER ALL LOADED UP.

WE'RE JUST UH... JUST ABOUT READY TO GO.

UH, LISTEN, I JUST WANTED TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY

TO APOLOGIZE TO BOTH OF YOU ONCE AGAIN

ABOUT THE ACCIDENT EARLIER. WE FEEL TERRIBLE.

I SPOKE TO WILF

AND HE'S GONNA LOOK AFTER EVERYTHING.

HOW LONG UNTIL YOU HAVE ALL THIS UNLOADED ON THE OTHER SIDE?

OH, THAT'LL BE SIX, SEVEN - THE LATEST.

OH, AND YOU GOT THE GARAGE OUT BACK, RIGHT?

YEAH, IT'S ON THE SURVEY, LOOK. UH...

NO, OKAY, NOW LOOK, YOU THOUGHT OF IT IN YOUR HEAD.

LOOK IN YOUR HEAD. JUST LOOK.

ARE YOU LOOKING IN THERE? EXCUSE ME?

YOU DON'T SEE ANYTHING IN THERE?

AJ: I THINK YOU NEED TO TAKE IT EASY, PAL, ALL RIGHT?

NO, THIS IS-THIS ISN'T EVEN... I'M NOT EVEN...

I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN ANGRY YET.

HONEY, PLEASE.

I HAVEN'T. HE DIDN'T...

ARE YOU SEEING THIS SHIT? OKAY.

THERE'S NOT A LOT OF STUFF BACK THERE.

OKAY, FINE. WE'LL DEAL WITH IT.

JIM: YEAH, LET'S GO GET THE KIDS.

AJ: ALL RIGHT, WE GOT IT. NO PROBLEM.

MARTHA: SORRY. AJ: GOOD LUCK.

(SIGHS HEAVILY)

CLYDE?

CLYDE?

WHAT DID YOU WANNA ASK ME, CLYDE? WHY'D YOU CALL ME OVER?

WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?

(RATS SQUEAK, GASPS, HORRIFIED)

(GASPS, FRIGHTENED AND GAGGING)

(SIGHS)

(CAR PULLS UP OUTSIDE, HONKS HORN)

(CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC PLAYS)

(DOOR BANGS SHUT, CROW CAWS)

I GOT AN OFFER FOR YOU YOU CAN'T REFUSE.

YOU'RE GONNA WORK AT REDMOND'S FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

SIGN RIGHT HERE.

UH, NO, WILF.

I'M UH... I'M GONNA GO WORK WITH THOSE GUYS

AND DO NOTHING FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

OH REALLY?

YEAH, NOT WITHOUT A LETTER OF REFERENCE FROM ME,

YOU WON'T.

WITHOUT ME, YOU'LL BE GOING BACK TO WASHING DISHES, CLYDE,

'CAUSE THAT'S ALL YOU CAN DO.

(BEAR GROWLS)

CLYDE: WILF?

IS THAT A BIG SHITTY BEAR IN THAT CAR, GROWLING AT ME?

BUDDY, KNOCK IT OFF.

YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR MIND.

OKAY.

NO, REALLY. YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR MIND.

YOU'RE GOING BACK TO WASHING DISHES, CLYDE.

CLYDE: WHERE ARE THEY COMING FROM? THEY'RE COMING FROM THE SKY!

LOOK AT THIS, MAN!

WILF: DON'T BLAME ME!

(HEAVY SNORING)

(YAWNS)

LINDA: GOOD AFTERNOON! REDMOND'S MOVING AND STORAGE,

THIS IS LINDA SPEAKING.

OH, THAT'S LOVELY THAT YOU HAVE ALZHEIMERS.

YOU KNOW WHAT, MISTER? WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS.

YOU... YOU KNOW WHAT?

I DON'T MIND IF YOU CALL ONCE A DAY,

BUT THIS IS... TOO MANY TIMES. AND THAT'S DIRTY TALK -

I ALSO SAID THAT THAT WAS OFF LIMITS.

I'VE GOTTA GO NOW. BUH-BYE.

(OTHER LINE RINGS) GOOD AFTERNOON REDMOND'S MOVING, THIS IS LINDA SPEAKING.

ABSOLUTELY.

NO, WE... WE WANT YOU TO BE 100 PERCENT HAPPY.

(CHUCKLES) YES.

YES, THEY'RE ABSOLUTELY EXPERIENCED IN MOVING PIANOS...

THE BOYS WILL BRING ALL OF THE SUPPLIES.

YES, MRS. WILSON.

NO. THEY ARE THE BEST IN THE BUSINESS, MRS. WILSON.

I GUARANTEE YOU'RE GONNA BE VERY, VERY HAPPY.

WE'RE FULLY-THANK YOU.

WE'RE FULLY LICENSED AND BONDED.

YEAH. WELL, WE- WHERE IS HE?

WE WILL BE CALL YOU THREE DAYS PRIOR.

WHERE'S WILF?

ONE MINUTE. ONE MINUTE, PLEASE.

IT'S WILF'S BIRTHDAY ON FRIDAY NIGHT.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE CHICKEN DINNER.

AM I FIRED?

YOU'RE NOT FIRED. DON'T BE SILLY.

MY APOLOGIES. NO, THAT'S MY BROTHER.

HE'S ONE OF THE MOVERS AND HE'S FABULOUS.

YES, I DO. THANK YOU MRS. WILSON.

WELL, I'M GONNA TRY AND GET A TRUCK THAT DAY.

YES, MA'AM. OKAY, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

YES, MY PLEASURE. ABSOLUTELY.

OKAY. THANK YOU, MRS. WILSON. GOODBYE.

HONESTLY, CLYDE! I'M HUNGRY!

YOU HAD HALF OF IT.

LINDA: I AM HUNGRY. YOU ALWAYS TAKE MY FOOD!

OH! HEY DONKEY!

LISTEN, MAN, IT'S BEEN NICE KNOWING YOU, BUDDY.

HUH?

WELL, I CAN ONLY ASSUME

THAT YOU'RE GETTING SHIT-CANNED TODAY, MY MAN.

NO, NO, NO. LINDA SAID-

I DON'T CARE WHAT LINDA SAID.

I LOOKED AT THE BOOKS, BUTTERFINGERS;

YOU CAUSED $7500 IN DAMAGES YESTERDAY.

OKAY, WELL, DENNIS, THAT'S WHY WE HAVE INSURANCE,

SO... THERE WOULDN'T BE ANY PROB-

WELL, WHY IS WILF SO PISSED OFF THEN, CLYDE?

YEAH.

(BANGING ON DOOR) HEY, CLYDE!

COME ON, WHAT YOU DOIN' IN THERE?

COME ON OUT, MAN!

(SNIFFLING) NOTHING.

(BANGING ON DOOR) COME ON, MAN!

HEY, CEDRIC, LEAVE HIM ALONE, MAN!

HE'S ON A HOME STRETCH.

DENNIS!

GO PUT A HICKEY ON THE CRACK OF A MONKEY'S ASS,

YOU GREASY BITCH!

COME ON, CLYDE! COME ON OUT, MAN!

AJ: PERFECT!

OKAY, EXCELLENT. THANK YOU.

HEY, GREAT NIGHT. HEY, THANKS. YEAH.

LISTEN, AJ, LET'S JUST KEEP THIS BETWEEN US, OKAY?

OH YEAH! NO, ABSOLUTELY. OKAY.

FOUR. ARE THEY ALL FULLY... FURNISHED?

UH-HUH.

WELL, IT DEPENDS ON... HOW MUCH IS IN YOUR GARAGE,

BUT THAT COULD DEFINITELY ADD A FEW HOURS.

LET'S MEET LATER THIS WEEK.

YEAH. LET'S DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT, FOR SURE!

IF YOU... GIVE ME A CALL.

WE'LL SET SOMETHING LIKE THAT UP.

OKAY, I'LL CALL YOU THERE OR SOMETHING.

DON'T CALL ME HERE. JUST CALL ME ON MY CELL.

OH, OKAY.

AJ: GOOD MORNING. LINDA: MORNING.

AJ? I UH... I DON'T WANNA BELIEVE THAT THAT WAS A CLIENT

TH-THAT JUST DROPPED YOU OFF,

BUT SOMETHING TELLS ME THAT IT WAS.

(LAUGHS) WRONG AGAIN, LINDA. OKAY?

REALLY.

SO IS THERE ANY WORK TODAY YOU WANNA TELL ME ABOUT?

ANY MOVES?

OF COURSE!

WHY DON'T YOU GO WASH YOURSELF

AND I'LL BRING YOU YOUR SCHEDULE.

GOOD.

(SIGHS)

HEY, MAN, COME HERE, COME HERE. COME HERE, COME HERE.

IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT, NOW, OKAY?

BREATHE, MAN, BREATHE.

BREATHE, BREATHE. THERE YOU GO.

THERE YOU GO, BIG GUY. YEAH.

FEEL BETTER NOW?

NO.

COME ON, MAN, SIT DOWN. I WANNA TALK TO YOU.

I GOT YOU SOMETHING.

YOU'VE BEEN HOLDING A LOT OF THINGS IN, CLYDE.

THAT'S NOT GOOD, OKAY?

YOU KNOW WHAT I DO WHEN I GET UPSET?

I SIT DOWN TO A TABLE AND I WRITE IT ALL DOWN, OKAY?

IT DON'T MATTER IF IT DON'T MAKE SENSE.

NOBODY'S GONNA READ IT.

AND YOU KNOW THE BEST THING ABOUT THAT?

AFTER I GET IT ALL DOWN ON THE PAGE,

I CAN JUST LET IT GO.

SEE, YOU NEED TO TRY THAT.

WRITE IT DOWN, LET IT GO.

ALWAYS REMEMBER WHAT'S UP HERE CAN BE MORE DEADLY

THAN WHAT YOU PUT IN YOUR STOMACH.

YOU PUT SOMETHING IN YOUR STOMACH

THAT MAKES YOU SICK,

YOU THROW UP AND IT'S GONE.

YOU FEEL BETTER.

BUT IF SOMETHING BAD IS UP HERE,

YOU COULD BE SICK THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

THAT'S A REALLY, REALLY NICE NOTEBOOK.

OH YEAH, IT IS A NICE NOTEBOOK,

BUT I DON'T WANT YOU LOOKING AT IT LIKE,

OH, THIS NOTEBOOK IS SO NICE THAT I CAN'T WRITE IN IT.

READ THE INSCRIPTION IN THE BOOK.

"IN EVERY ADVERSITY,

THERE IS A SEED OF EQUAL OR GREATER OPPORTUNITY."

EXAMPLE: YOU KNOW, YOU GO BLIND

AND YOU SUDDENLY BECOME THE GREATEST MUSICIAN IN THE WORLD.

NEXT THING YOU KNOW,

YOU'RE PLAYING PIANO LIKE STEVIE WONDER.

OR... YOU KNOW, YOUR GIRLFRIEND DUMPS YOU.

THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, YOU GET A PHONE CALL

FROM HER HOTTER GIRLFRIEND, "HELLO, YES, CLYDE,

I'M YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S HOTTER GIRLFRIEND

WITH THE MUCH BIGGER, FLUFFY TITTIES."

NEXT THINK YOU KNOW, YOU'RE OVER AT THE HOUSE

WITH SERGEANT TITTIES, SMOKING WEED AND DRINKING WINE.

YOU GET MY MEANING, MAN?

THAT'S WHAT'S UP.

THANKS, CEDRIC.

(KNOCKS) COME ON, GUYS, HURRY UP!

YOU SHOULD GET IN THERE AJ -

THREE AMIGOS ON THE BALONEY PONIES.

WOULD YOU FUCK OFF, DENNIS, YOU FUCKIN' WEIRDO.

COME ON, GUYS, HURRY UP!

I GOTTA TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE WILF GETS HERE.

GOOD MORNING, WILF.

GOOD MORNING, LINDA!

(LITTLE BUDDY BARKS)

CLYDE: JUST A SECOND, AJ!

(LITTLE BUDDY BARKS) OH FUCK ME... WILF'S HERE.

YOU LITTLE FUCKER.

WHERE'S CLYDE?

(SIGHS) HE'S IN THE BATHROOM WITH CEDRIC.

REALLY.

CLYDE, IN MY OFFICE.

BREATHE... BREATHE... RELAX.

DENNIS: (MAKES THROAT CUTTING SOUND)

HAVE A SEAT, CLYDE.

WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT?

NO ELASTICS IN THE STORE.

WE CAN'T HAVE LITTLE BUDDY EATING

NOT EVEN ONE MORE GOD DAMN ELASTIC.

HIS OPERATIONS COST ME AN ARM AND A LEG;

WE ALMOST LOST HIM.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION?

FIRE ME.

I THOUGHT OF THAT, BUT I NEED YOU.

SO I'M GOING TO PUT YOU ON PROBATION

BECAUSE WE CAN'T HAVE THIS HAPPEN AGAIN.

(BREATHES A HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF)

TURTLE?

THANKS FOR UNDERSTANDING, WILF.

I LOVE TURTLES.

OKAY, CLYDE.

SO IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU'D LIKE TO TELL ME ABOUT?

RIGHT NOW'S PROBABLY NOT THE BEST...

THE BEST TIME TO...

THIS IS THE PERFECT TIME.

I NEED TO ASK FOR THE WEEKEND -OF THE 14TH AND 15 -TH OFF.

I WILL NOT ASK FOR ANOTHER DAY OFF. EVER.

OKAY, CLYDE, WE CAN TALK ABOUT THAT...

BUT FIRST I NEED TO GET SOME MORE SPECIFICS

ABOUT YESTERDAY'S BRIGHTWOOD MOVE.

UH-HUH. YEAH, OKAY.

SO, DID YOU SEE AJ DRINKING YESTERDAY?

WAS HE DRINKING ON THE JOB? YES OR NO?

UH... ON THE JOB DRINKING...

I THINK YOU ARE TRYING TO PROTECT ALEX AND I RESPECT THAT,

BUT SOMEONE COULD GET KILLED OUT THERE,

CAN YOU LIVE WITH THAT, CLYDE? BECAUSE I CAN'T.

NO.

I'M GONNA MAKE THIS EASY FOR YOU, CLYDE.

IF YOU TAKE ANOTHER TURTLE,

IT MEANS YES, HE WAS DRINKING.

DENNIS: THAT A BOY, AJ. GET AN EARLY START,

GET RID OF THOSE SHAKES.

SHUT THE FUCK UP, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

CLYDE: IT'S JUST SOMETHING I FIGURED I'D DO FOR THE KIDS.

YOU KNOW, RAM ALL THE BIRTHDAYS AND HOLIDAYS TOGETHER,

'CAUSE I MISS SO MANY OF THEM 'CAUSE OF WORK.

CEDRIC: SO YOU'RE DOING A BIRTHDAY CHRISTMAS PARTY.

CLYDE: YEAH. CEDRIC: THE KIDS ARE GONNA LIKE THAT.

ALL RIGHT, FELLAS, HOLD UP.

GOOD MORNING, LADIES,

UH... YOU MUST BE WENDY. HOW'RE YOU DOING?

HI.

AJ. WE SPOKE ON THE PHONE.

OH MAN, THIS PLACE IS AWESOME.

NICE VIEW.

HOW'RE YOU DOING THIS MORNING?

GREAT. THANKS.

AJ: SO I GOT A BIT OF PAPERWORK HERE.

UM, SO ARE YOU ABLE TO SIGN FOR THIS STUFF? IS THAT UH...

WENDY: YEAH, I CAN DO THAT.

AJ: OKAY, GREAT. FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND,

IT'S JUST THE TWO CONFERENCE ROOMS UPSTAIRS, IS IT?

YEAH, YOU'RE JUST GONNA GO AROUND THE CORNER

AND UP THE STAIRS.

OKAY, GREAT.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA GIVE YOU HERE IS...

I'M GONNA GIVE YOU...

IT'S MY PERSONAL CELL PHONE NUMBER.

JUST IF THERE'S ANYTHING AT ALL I CAN HELP YOU WITH,

JUST GIVE ME A CALL.

I WILL, THANK YOU.

HAVE A GOOD MORNING.

ALL RIGHT, FELLAS.

MANDY.

NO, CATHY.

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, CATHY. YEAH.

I'M DENNIS, SONS OF ROCK.

YOU COME TO OUR SHOWS DOWN AT THE PALACE.

NO, THAT WASN'T ME.

DO YOU HAVE A TWIN SISTER?

NO. FUCK ME.

HMM... NO.

NO, I DIDN'T MEAN LIKE... UNLESS?

DEFINITELY NOT.

HEY, I NEED YOU ON THE TRUCK.

DENNIS: WHAT? AJ: I NEED YOU ON THE TRUCK.

I WAS JUST INTRODUCING MYSELF.

SHUT UP! ON THE TRUCK! ALL RIGHT! OKAY!

OKAY? LOOK AT ME. YEAH.

AJ: ALL RIGHT. NOW, ON THE TRUCK.

THANKS. I'M SORRY.

COME DOWN THIS WEEKEND, BRING SOME FRIENDS.

AND CATHY? NO GUYS.

WHAT, DID YOU TAKE A NAP BEFORE YOU CAME BACK UP?

CLYDE, I'M GOING DOWN TO SUBWAY, BUDDY,

DO YOU NEED ANYTHING?

OH, NO THANKS; I BROUGHT LUNCH.

DENNIS: ALL RIGHT. CLYDE: OKAY.

CATHY: THANK YOU FOR CALLING. BYE.

EXCUSE ME, SIR,

I THINK YOUR BUDDY'S PLAYING A PRANK ON YOU.

THERE'S A DRAWING ON YOUR BACK.

(DENNIS LAUGHS LOUDLY)

DENNIS, GIVE ME THE PHONE!

NO WAY! DENNIS, GIVE ME THE PHONE!

NO WAY! GIVE ME THE PHONE, DENNIS!

THIS IS COMEDY GOLD!

GIVE ME THE FRIGGIN' PHONE, DENNIS!

WHAT THE HELL?! PUT ME DOWN!

(OVERLAPPING YELLING)

AJ: PUT HIM- PUT HIM DOWN!

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?

I TURN MY BACK FOR A SECOND

AND TURN INTO WILD FUCKING ANIMALS?!

HE ATTACKED ME!

THIS GUY DREW A PICTURE OF A STUPID DONKEY

WITH A TINY PENIS ON IT AND SAYS CALL ME "DONKS"

AND MADE FUN OF ME IN FRONT OF THOSE TWO GIRLS

RIGHT OVER THERE AND HE TOOK-

SHHH!

YOU, GO GET A DRINK! ME?

GO GET A DRINK OF POP! TO THE TRUCK, NOW!

HEY. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

GET THE FUCK OFF ME, PSYCHO!

HEY, CLYDE'S ON PROBATION, MAN! OKAY?

IF YOU GET HIM FIRED OVER SOME CHILDISH BULLSHIT LIKE THAT,

ONE PHONE CALL TO WILF AND IT'S OVER.

MY FRIEND, HE'S GOT EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS

AND I'M GONNA DEAL WITH IT RIGHT NOW, OKAY?

HOW ABOUT DINNER, ALL THREE OF US, ON REDMOND'S?

WHAT DO YOU SAY, HUH?

WENDY: OKAY. AJ: OKAY.

DENNIS: THIS IS MY PHONE. CEDRIC: COME ON, GIVE ME THE PHONE, MAN!

GET THE FUCK- I'M NOT GIVING YOU MY-

GIVE ME THE FUCKING PHONE

BEFORE I SMASH YOUR FACE, ALL RIGHT?

YEAH, YOU'D LIKE TO, WOULDN'T YOU?

BUT YOU KNOW WHERE THAT'S GONNA LAND YOU... AGAIN.

I THINK YOUR OL' PUNCHING DAYS ARE OVER,

YOU FUCKIN' ANIMAL.

CLYDE, ARE YOU STILL MAD AT ME?

LOOK, BUDDY, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE ON PROBATION, OKAY?

CAN YOU TRY TO LOOK AT THIS FROM MY SIDE OF THINGS?

I MEAN, HERE WE ARE STUCK IN THIS SHITTIEST JOB IN THE WORLD

FORGIVE ME FOR TRYING TO BRING A FEW LAUGHS TO OUR DAY.

OKAY. YOU'RE... YOU'RE RIGHT.

I'M... YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY, DENNIS.

ALL RIGHT.

'CAUSE YOU WERE STARTING TO BE AN ASSHOLE THERE FOR A BIT.

LOOK, IF ME AND YOU GOTTA WORK TOGETHER,

WE GOTTA BE TIGHT.

I'M NOT GONNA BE HERE FOREVER.

OH YEAH? WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

THE CITY.

(LAUGHS)

CLYDE, YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GET THAT FUCKING JOB, MAN.

TO GET A JOB WITH CITY, YOU GOTTA KNOW SOMEONE.

I KNOW THAT.

I KNEW SOMEBODY AND I STILL COULDN'T GET IN.

IF I CAN'T GET IN WITH A REFERENCE, YOU'RE SCREWED.

YOU GOTTA DREAM SMALLER, MY FRIEND.

(LITTLE BUDDY GROWLS)

THOSE TURTLES ARE FOR CUSTOMERS ONLY.

PLEASE SIT DOWN.

LINDA: WILF. WILF: LINDA.

WILF: (CLEARS HIS THROAT)

SORRY, WILF.

(CLEARS THROAT) WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

LIQUOR - LIQUOR ON YOUR BREATH.

BOTH CLIENTS REPORTED SMELLING IT,

AND ONE OF OUR EMPLOYEES

HAS ALSO CONFIRMED THAT HE SAW YOU DRINKING.

DENNIS SAID THAT?

SO YOU'RE NOT DENYING IT?

AJ, THIS IS STRIKE TWO.

LOOK, WILF, I SLIPPED UP, OKAY?

FOR ONE DAY.

I QUIT DRINKING. I DON'T DRINK AT ALL ANYMORE,

I SWEAR ON MY MOTHER'S GRAVE - FOR REAL THIS TIME.

IT'S... YOU ASK THE GUYS.

I DON'T EVEN DRINK AT LUNCH ANYMORE.

CONGRATULATIONS.

ALL RIGHT, LOOK, WILF, I FUCKED UP, OKAY?

I ADMIT IT, I'M A HUMAN BEING.

I FUCKED UP, WILF.

I'M TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, IT WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN.

WHAT IS IT WITH YOU?

ALL I SEE IS POTENTIAL

AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET THROUGH TO YOU.

NOT TO MENTION YOU'VE BEEN EXHIBITING CONDUCT

UNBECOMING OF A GENTLEMAN WITH THE LADIES,

TO SAY THE LEAST.

(SNORTS) THAT'S GREAT. THAT'S...

DON'T YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE?

YOU KNOW, TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, WILF,

I UH... I DON'T REGRET THE PAST,

I DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE FUTURE,

I LIVE IN THE NOW.

OH, I KNOW YOU DO.

IT'S A LIFE CHOICE.

LINDA: A LIFE CHOICE.

(LAUGHS) IF THAT TEXT IS OF A SEXUAL NATURE,

IT'S AN INFRACTION.

YEAH, IT'S NOT OF A SEXUAL NATURE;

IT'S ABOUT WORK, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

REALLY? YEAH.

"I'M HAVING FLASHBACKS." (LAUGHS)

WHO WERE YOU SLEEPING WITH, JANIS JOPLIN?

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) HONESTLY.

AJ: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THAT IS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE...

IT WAS ABOUT WORK. IT WAS A FLASH-

IT WAS A MOVE THAT... I DON'T KNOW IF YOU...

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE'S DOING HERE.

I'M HERE... I'M HERE TO TAKE NOTES.

WILF ASKED ME TO BE HERE.

I'M ACTUALLY TRYING TO TALK TO WILF RIGHT NOW,

SO YOU WANNA GIVE US A SECOND? THANKS. (LAUGHS)

LOOK, WILF, I SHIT THE BAD REAL BAD ON THIS ONE, OKAY?

I KNOW THAT.

CAN YOU GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE?

I'LL GIVE YOU A CHOICE:

YOU DRINK OR YOU DRIVE FOR REDMOND'S, NOT BOTH.

EASY. I DON'T DRINK. I DRIVE FOR REDMOND'S.

OKAY, YOU'RE ON PROBATION.

WELL, UH... DO YOU HEAR ME?

ONE MORE VIOLATION WILL BE TERMINATION.

PLEASE SIGN THIS.

UH, YEAH.

I TOLD YOU I'M NOT GONNA DRINK ANYMORE.

WILF: PLEASE SIGN IT.

I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND

THAT I HAVE TO PROTECT MYSELF HERE, ALEX.

WE'RE JUST TRYING TO PROTECT OURSELVES.

THAT'S GREAT, THAT'S...

IT'S NOT ABOUT FEELINGS.

TV COMMERCIAL: AND HE CAN LIFT ANYTHING - ANYTHING AT ALL -

HE'S THAT STRONG.

JOE SHUSTER, WILL YOU STOP OR YOU'LL MISS YOUR TRAIN.

NOW HELP ME FIND NUMBER FIVE.

♪ I wanna get a word to your young ♪

♪ I wanna see if I can help them along ♪

♪ I wanna get a word to your young ♪

♪ I wanna see If I can help them along ♪

♪ They've gotta tidy up ♪

♪ You've gotta tidy up ♪

♪ We've gotta tidy up ♪

♪ You've gotta tidy up ♪

♪ Tidy up, you've gotta tidy up ♪

♪ You don't suspect a thing When you're young ♪

♪ You always think That you can make it alone ♪

♪ It's not enough to do what you're told ♪

♪ No one tells you when you're tired and old ♪

♪ You gotta tidy up, You've gotta tidy up ♪

♪ Tidy up, you've gotta tidy up ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa, ♪

♪ Tidy up, you've gotta tidy up ♪

♪ It's hard to picture What they're seeing ♪

♪ When they're so used to disappearing ♪

AJ: FUCK, I DON'T THINK HE'S IN THERE.

HEY CLYDE, YOU IN THERE?

LET'S GO, MAN, HE'S NOT IN THERE.

HEY, CLYDE! IT'S CEDRIC AND AJ.

WE NEED YOUR HELP, MAN! IT'S A BLIZZARD OUT HERE!

(MAKES BLOWING AND WHISTLING NOISES)

AGGGGHHHHHH! A POLAR BEAR'S COMING!

CLYDE! (BANGS ON DOOR)

OH, HE'S IN HERE, MAN, HE'S IN HERE!

A LITTLE TRICK I LEARNED.

AJ: THAT NEVER WORKS, BUDDY.

CLYDE!

CLYDE!

YOUR APARTMENT SMELLS LIKE PIZZA.

WHERE YOU AT, MAN? CLYDE!

HOLY FUCK, LOOK AT THIS PLACE.

YUP, THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, RIGHT THERE, SEE?

CLYDE, COME ON, MAN. CLYDE! CLYDE!

HE'S WEARING THE MOVING BLANKETS.

YEAH, WILF'S GONNA WANT THAT BACK.

HEY, WAKE UP! (HITS HIM)

CLYDE: UNGH!

COME ON, TIME TO GET UP, CLYDE. COME ON, MAN.

COME ON, BOYS, WHAT THE... FUCK?!

CEDRIC: RISE AND SHINE. COME ON, BUDDY.

WE'RE LATE. CLYDE: WHAT'S UP?

CEDRIC: WHAT'S UP? WHAT'S UP?

IT'S TIME TO MOVE SOME FURNITURE, MAN.

COME ON, LET'S GO.

COME ON, MAN. UN-FUCKING-REAL.

(AJ'S PHONE RINGS) THAT'S... JESUS CHRIST.

CEDRIC: COME ON, CLYDE. COME ON.

PUT SOME CLOTHES ON.

NOW WILF DOES NOT YET KNOW YOU'RE LATE,

BUT IF YOU KEEP THIS UP,

HE'S GONNA KNOW WE'RE ALL LATE

AND WE GONNA BE IN TROUBLE, SO...

CED, I HAD THE CRAZIEST DREAM LAST NIGHT, MAN.

WE WERE ALL EATING...

LOOK, LOOK... NO TIME.

CLYDE: AND DENNIS WAS LOOKING AT ME

AND HE WAS GOING LIKE THIS, MAN.

HE WAS LIKE, THAT'S AWESOME

'CAUSE I WAS ROCKING OUT.

LIKE I WAS LIKE... (IMITATES DRUMMING)

CEDRIC: CLYDE, COME ON, MAN! DREAMS IS PERSONAL SHIT.

YOU CAN KEEP THAT TO YOURSELF, MAN. ALL RIGHT? CLYDE!

CLYDE! COME ON, SNAP OUT OF IT!

CLYDE! COME ON! CLYDE!

YOU WANNA LOSE YOUR JOB, MAN?!

AJ: I UNDERSTAND.

HEY, LISTEN, IF ANYBODY... WHOA. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

HEATHER. HEATHER. I WOULD NEVER SAY THAT.

I THINK THIS IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF GRIEF

THAT WE JUST DON'T NEED...

NO FUCKING MICROWAVE. UNBELIEVABLE.

CLYDE: (YELLING) COME ON, MAN! YOU'RE MAKING US LATE!

(AJ'S PHONE BUZZES)

(BREATHES OUT) FUCK! HOO!

HEY, WILF.

JUST CHECKING UP ON YOU, AJ. YOU DRINKING?

NO, ABSOLUTELY NO, SIR.

THAT'S ABSURD. WE TALKED ABOUT THIS.

WHERE ARE YOU GUYS RIGHT NOW?

AT THE FIRST MOVE. EVERYTHING'S GOING GREAT, WILF.

DON'T BULLSHIT ME.

I'M NOT BULLSHITTING YOU, WILF. COME ON.

CAN I HELP YOU WITH SOMETHING, FUCKBALLS?

WILF, I'M NOT BULLSHITTING YOU.

GUYS, SORRY I OVERSLEPT.

DENNIS: YEAH, WELL, YOU OWE US BIG TIME.

WAS THAT WILF WHO CALLED?

YEAH, IT WAS, BUT DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, BIG MAN.

I COVERED FOR YOU.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO TO WORK. COME ON, BOYS.

CLYDE, I GOTTA SAY, MAN, THAT'S A VERY GOOD QUESTION.

(LAUGHS)

MAN, CLYDE AIN'T WRITE THAT, YOU WROTE THAT, MAN.

EVERYBODY HERE KNOWS YOU WROTE THAT.

WHAT'S UP WITH YOU WITH ALL THIS COCK STUFF, MAN?

WHAT, MAN?

EVERYTHING WITH YOU IS COCKS.

COCKS THIS, COCKS THAT. WHAT'S UP?

CLYDE: YEAH, MAYBE YOUR BAND SHOULD BE CALLED "SONS OF COCK."

(AJ AND CEDRIC BURST OUT LAUGHING)

SONS OF COCK!

AJ: OH THAT WAS GOOD!

YOU SCORED, BABY! THAT WAS A GOOD ONE.

SONS OF COCK! SONS OF COCK!

AJ: THAT WAS FUNNY.

CEDRIC: (HALF SUNG) SQUIRT, SQUIRT, SQUIRT

(FOOTSTEPS THUNK HEAVILY ON THE STAIRS)

NEWS ANCHOR: FROM THE BUTT CAM TO BUTTING OUT...

(NEWSCAST CONTINUES)

(PHONE RINGS) HELLO?

HEY, CED, WHAT'S UP? IT'S CLYDE.

HEY, WHAT'S UP, CLYDE? HOW'RE DOING, MAN?

I'M GOOD. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M AT HOME, ON MY COUCH, WATCHING THE TV.

NO, I'M JUST ASKING WHAT YOU'RE DOING

'CAUSE I WAS JUST CURIOUS WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

ARE YOU DRUNK?

WELL, NO, CED...

HEY, MAN... (LAUGHS)

I'M AT MY HOUSE, ON THE COUCH, WATCHING TV, MAN.

YOU WANNA COME OVER OR SOMETHING?

CLYDE: YEAH. UH, YEAH.

OH, OKAY. WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER,

STOP ASKING ME ALL THESE FUCKING STUPID QUESTIONS, MAN.

GUESS I WON'T BE ON THE CURLING TEAM NO MORE.

I WAS GONNA BE LIKE THE JACKIE ROBINSON OF CURLING, MAN.

WELL, THERE'S STILL TIME.

WOMAN: HEY! CEDRIC: HEY, MAMA!

HOW'RE DOING, BABY? MMM. ALL RIGHT.

HELLO, CLYDE!

IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN!

GOOD TO SEE YOU, TOO, CHRISTINE!

I THINK THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU

WAS AT THE CHRISTMAS PARTY, RIGHT?

YUP. (LAUGHS)

I REMEMBER YOUR SISTER, LINDA, SHE WAS UH...

SHE WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME, HUH?

(LAUGHING)

WELL, I'M OFF.

MY GIRLS ARE THROWING ME A LAID-OFF PARTY;

I GOT A NEW JOB, CLYDE.

OH, YOU'RE LEAVING YOUR JOB? WHAT HAPPENED?

NOTHING. NOTHING. IT'S A LONG STORY.

BUT I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO START MY OWN BUSINESS,

SO NOW IS THE TIME, RIGHT?

NOW IS THE TIME.

AND DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH THAT APPLE CRISP.

WON'T BE TOUCHING THE APPLE CRISP.

YEAH... SMOKED PORK CHOPS AND SAUERKRAUT, SEE?

THAT MAKES A MAN GET UP IN THE MORNING REAL STRONG.

I LOVE IT. I PUT IT ON EVERYTHING -

BISCUITS, PANCAKES, WAFFLES...

I MEAN, I'M A SAUERKRAUT DUDE, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

SMOKED PORK CHOPS AND SAUERKRAUT!

LORD, BLESS THIS FOOD I'M ABOUT TO TEAR UP.

AMEN! (SHOUTS) YES!

WILF: FISH AND CHIPS IS PRETTY GOOD HERE.

OH YEAH? YEAH, I'VE HAD THE HOT HAMBURGER SANDWICH TOO.

IT WAS GOOD.

AS YOU KNOW, I...

I'VE BEEN HAVING SOME PROBLEMS...

UH... KEEPING A HANDLE ON THINGS.

I THINK YOU CAN HELP.

SURE.

THERE ARE BIGGER OPPORTUNITIES AT REDMOND'S, LINDA,

LIKE AN ASCENT UP THE MANAGEMENT LADDER.

MAYBE EVEN BECOMING A PARTNER IF THINGS GO WELL.

PLEASE, GO ON. I AM... I AM LISTENING, WILF.

BEFORE YOU AGREE TO ANYTHING,

YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.

IT MIGHT MAKE YOU FEEL DIFFERENT ABOUT ME.

-BACK IN THE '80 -S WHEN INTEREST RATES WERE SKYROCKETING,

THINGS LOOKED PRETTY BLEAK.

WE, WE COULDN'T AFFORD INSURANCE,

SO WE OPERATED REDMOND'S WITHOUT INSURANCE.

BUT THE CATCH WAS

WE CONTINUED TO COLLECT INSURANCE PREMIUMS

FROM OUR CUSTOMERS.

WE GOT GOOD MOVERS - THE BEST -

SO WE RARELY HAD TO PAY OFF A SETTLEMENT.

NOBODY EVER NOTICED, SO WE KEPT DOING IT.

YOU SHOW ME A SUCCESSFUL PERSON -

A HAPPY PERSON -

AND I'LL GUARANTEE YOU THAT PERSON TOOK RISKS.

ILLEGAL RISKS.

THOSE ARE THE GREATEST RISKS THERE ARE.

HEY, CED?

YEAH.

UM... YOU KNOW SO MUCH STUFF, MAN,

LIKE SOMETIMES I WONDER WHY YOU'RE WORKING AT REDMOND'S.

(CLEARS THROAT) 'CAUSE I HAVE TO.

YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS A KID,

I THOUGHT I WAS NORMAL, YOU KNOW.

BUT I HAD THIS, UH, ANGER PROBLEM.

I WAS A VERY ANGRY KID;

I WAS ALWAYS GETTING INTO FIGHTS.

WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

CEDRIC: NO, CLYDE, IT'S NOT ALL RIGHT, MAN.

'CAUSE I WOULD GET DRUNK,

AND THEN THE ANGRY CEDRIC WOULD COME OUT, YOU KNOW?

YEAH.

ONE NIGHT I GOT DRUNK, HIT THIS GUY TOO HARD -

KNOCKED HIM OUT.

HE NEVER GOT UP.

MANSLAUGHTER. SIX YEARS IN THE PENITENTIARY.

AND THE WORST PART ABOUT IT, MAN,

IS THAT YOU KNOW WHEN YOU GET OUT, MAN,

THE SENTENCE AIN'T OVER.

PEOPLE DON'T TREAT YOU THE SAME NO MORE.

NOBODY WANTS TO HIRE YOU,

SO YOU'RE FORCED TO TAKE THE SHIT JOB, YOU KNOW?

REDMOND'S.

(SNIFFS AND SIGHS)

WOW! CLYDE, THINGS ARE CHANGING FOR ME, MAN.

I FOUND A WAY OUT.

THAT'S WHY I ALWAYS SAY,

NO MATTER HOW BAD THINGS GET, NEVER SETTLE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I'M ABOUT TO LEAVE IN A COUPLE OF DAYS.

YOU'RE... YOU'RE LEAVING?

CHRISTINE'S FAMILY LEFT US A LITTLE PLACE

DOWN IN NORTH CAROLINA,

SO WE GONNA GO DOWN THERE AND START FRESH.

(LAUGHS) COME ON, CEDRIC, I MEAN...

WITHOUT YOU, I'M, I'M...

I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO STOMACH REDMOND'S.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO WORK AT REDMOND'S

FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

YUP.

COME ON, MAN. STOP GOING, "YUP."

YOU'RE A BIG POLAR BEAR OF A MAN, YO.

YEAH. POLAR BEARS DON'T GO, "YUP."

THEY GO, "RAWRRR!"

AND FUCK WILF, TOO,

AND HIS LITTLE CHALOUPA DOG

WITH THE FUCKING DIANA ROSS HAIRCUT

THAT EATS RUBBER BANDS.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)

(PLAYS A RIFF ON THE ECLECTIC GUITAR)

HEY, DENNIS, YOU ARE EXCELLENT AT GUITAR, MAN.

YEAH, WELL, AFTER 18 YEARS AND SHITLOAD OF TALENT,

THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GONNA GET, ISN'T IT, CLYDE?

DID ANYBODY PUT ON ANY FUCKING COFFEE YET?

CEDRIC...

GO LOOK AT THAT.

OH YEAH, PENNIS.

YEAH! 'CAUSE LIKE I WAS LOOKING AT IT AND THEN HE'S,

YOU KNOW... I'M THINKING IT'S LIKE,

OH, WHAT'S YOUR NAME? DENNIS?

OH, WELL THEN WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I PUT A LINE?

PENNIS. HEY, PENNIS.

YEAH, YEAH, IT'S FUNNY, MAN. IT'S HILARIOUS.

YOU KNOW, IT'S ACTUALLY A GOOD SIGN.

IT SHOWS YOU HAVE A NEW ATTITUDE; THAT'S GOOD.

YOU NEED TO START DOING MORE STUFF LIKE THAT TO HIM.

PENNIS... (LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)

HEY, LINDA, YOU LOOK GOOD TODAY.

THANK YOU.

YEAH, NICE NEW CLOTHES, LIN.

THANKS.

OKAY, GUYS, SO WILF JUST CALLED.

HE HAD TWO TEETH FILLED, SO HE'S A LITTLE SORE,

BUT HE STILL WANTS TO HAVE HIS BIRTHDAY TONIGHT.

WILF WANTS TO PARTY, GUYS!

SO, AFTER WORK, FREE CHICKEN DINNER, DRINKS,

AND PARTYING WITH LITTLE BUDDY.

SOUNDS LIKE A RIOT.

COME ON, CEDRIC, IT'S GONNA BE A BARREL OF LAUGHS,

IT REALLY WILL BE.

WHAT'S THE NEXT MOVE?

NOWHERE YET.

THE WILSON MOVE HAS BEEN PUSHED TWO DAYS.

WELL, WHAT DOES THAT DO TO THE SCHEDULE?

I'M NOT SURE YET, BUT WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT LATER.

OKAY, WHEN?

LINDA: LATER, CLYDE, AND I'M GONNA- (DENNIS SPITS)

DENNIS, DON'T SPIT ON THE FLOOR.

YOU GUYS, LOOK, I HAVE A LOT GOING ON TODAY,

SO I REALLY NEED YOU TO WORK WITH ME.

IF WE'RE NOT GOING TO BE MOVING,

I MAY GET YOU TO REARRANGE THE SHOWROOM.

DENNIS: OH, FUCK SAKE!

DENNIS, THIS IS NOT YOUR PARENT'S GARAGE;

IT'S YOUR WORKPLACE.

CEDRIC: YEAH, THIS IS REDMOND'S FURNITURE,

NOT NICKLEBACK!

WHO CHANGED MY NAME TO PENNIS?

ME. YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?

YEAH, IT'S, IT'S... STUPID, IT'S NOT EVEN A WORD.

YEAH, ACTUALLY, DENNIS, THAT IS A WORD,

'CAUSE YOU ADD A LINE TO "P" AND IT'S PENNIS;

IT'S PENIS WITH TWO "N'S" WHICH IS LIKE EXTRA PENIS,

WHICH IS A WORD, AND IT'S FUNNY.

YEAH, PENNIS - YOU MADE IT A WORD.

OKAY, BOYS, THAT'S ENOUGH!

COME ON, IT IS WILF'S BIRTHDAY TODAY!

CAN WE TRY AND HAVE A GOOD DAY WITH NO BULLSHIT?

I JUST WANNA RALLY YOU GUYS.

I WANT YOU GUYS TO HAVE A GOOD TIME

AND YOU'RE JUST A BUNCH OF FUCKERS, YOU REALLY ARE.

OKAY, LITTLE BUDDY, IT'S GONNA BE A GOOD DAY.

HERE ME? GOOD DAY.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WILF.

WILF. YES, WE'LL PICK UP.

(LITTLE BUDDY BARKS) THANK YOU SO MUCH.

CEDRIC: WILF'S HERE.

PAY DAY!

WATCH HOW I HANDLE THIS WITH GRACE AND SACK.

LISTEN, UH, I GOT YOU A LITTLE SOMETHING.

WILF! OH MY GOODNESS!

OH, WILF, IT'S BEAUTIFUL! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!

WELL, NO WORRIES.

IN MANAGEMENT, YOU NEED A GOOD PEN.

SO, LINDA, I UH...

LOOK, YOU KNOW MORE ABOUT THE SCHEDULE THAN I DO.

WELCOME TO MANAGEMENT, LINDA,

YOU HAVE BLOODY WELL EARNED IT.

THANK YOU.

OH, BOY! NOW LISTEN, WE DON'T HAVE A LOT OF MOVES TODAY,

SO I'M GONNA GET THE GUYS TO REARRANGE THE SHOWROOM.

NO PROBLEM.

GENTLEMEN, I HAVE YOUR PAY. JUST GIVE ME A SECOND.

OH WOW! THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.

OH, THAT'S REALLY NICE. THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.

DENNIS? DENNIS?

DENNIS! DENNIS! DENNIS!

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION

THAT YOU WERE BEHAVING INAPPROPRIATELY

AT THE LAW OFFICE.

YOU PASSED A WOMAN YOUR CARD

AND CONTINUED TO HARASS HER WHILE SHE WAS TRYING TO WORK.

WHO TOLD YOU THAT? AJ?

NO. I GOT A PHONE CALL.

IT WAS A DOWNLOAD CODE.

SHE WANTED TICKETS TO THE SONS GIG.

THIS ISN'T ABOUT THE GOD DAMMED SONS OF ROCK, DENNIS.

THIS IS ABOUT YOU

AND YOU ARE GETTING TO BE A REAL PAIN IN THE ASS.

THERE.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I PAY YOU.

IF YOU WANTED TO PASS OUT REDMOND'S CARDS AT MY GIG,

I'D BE FINE WITH THAT.

YEAH, IN YOUR DREAMS.

YEAH, I DO DREAM. BIG.

WILF: HOW 'BOUT THAT.

CEDRIC: MORNING, WILF.

MORNING, CEDRIC. HERE YOU GO. CLYDE.

THANKS.

OH, YOU KNOW, WILF, IT'S ONLY FAIR THAT I TELL YOU,

ME AND MY WIFE ARE MOVING TO NORTH CAROLINA

AND TODAY'S MY LAST DAY.

WHAT? WELL, CEDRIC, I... THAT IS...

THAT'S REALLY GONNA MESS UP OUR SCHEDULE.

WERE YOU PLANNING ON... WHEN WERE YOU GONNA TELL US?

I'M NOT WORKING -ON THE 14TH AND 15 -TH.

I CAN HANDLE THIS, LINDA.

LOOK, CEDRIC, I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU,

I AM, REALLY,

BUT I WISH YOU HAD GIVEN ME A LITTLE BIT MORE NOTICE;

THIS HIGHLY UNPROFESSIONAL.

I'M AN UN-BONDED MOVER AND I GET PAID UNDER THE TABLE.

VERY UNPROFESSIONAL.

YEAH. POINT TAKEN.

CHRISTINE'S GRANDMOTHER PASSED AWAY

AND SHE LEFT US SOME PROPERTY.

WELL, SORRY FOR YOU LOSS.

CEDRIC: SORRY TO DROP IT ON YOU LIKE THIS,

BUT UH... IT IS THE WAY IT IS, YOU KNOW?

THANKS.

RESPECT? RESPECT, YUP.

IT'S GONNA BE DIFFICULT TO REPLACE YOU.

YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN.

I WILL MISS YOU. HAVE A GOOD TRIP, CEDRIC.

THANK YOU.

I WILL PUT UP AN APPLICATION FORM AT MANPOWER TODAY.

THANKS.

SORRY I'M LATE.

THE FUCKING TRAFFIC ON THE BRIDGE IS UNBELIEVABLE.

TRAFFIC ON THE BRIDGE.

YEAH, THE TRAFFIC ON THE BRIDGE.

I'M NOT MAKING IT UP, WILF.

WILF: WOW.

AJ: PAY DAY, EH BOYS?

WILF: YEAH, YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT.

WELL, MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE I...

BEEN DRINKING!

WHEW!

CLYDE: (IN A FUNNY VOICE) HI, BRIAN AND BETH. THIS IS THE MONSTER SPEAKING.

I'M SUPPOSED TO INVITE YOU

TO A SUPER DUPER BIRTHDAY CHRISTMAS PARTY,

WITH PRESENTS AND GAMES AND CHIPS

IN A VARIETY OF FLAVOUR!

(CHEWING) MMMGNGMMMM!

BECAUSE I WANNA KEEP EVERYTHING FOR MYSELF.

OKAY, I HAVE TO GO NOW

'CAUSE IT'S TIME FOR MONSTER SCHOOL. GOODBYE!

WILF: YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THAT SOFA.

I COULD THROW IN THE ARMOIRE FOR A LITTLE EXTRA.

CEDRIC QUIT TODAY.

THIS IS HIS LAST DAY TODAY, AJ.

NO SHIT. YEAH.

WE'RE GONNA NEED TO FIND SOMEBODY ELSE THIS WEEKEND,

AND I NEED AT LEAST ONE OTHER GUY

TO HANDLE ALL THE MOVES -FOR THE 14TH, 15TH AND 16 -TH.

HOLY FUCK.

HEY. I WANNA CONGRATULATE YOU ON YOUR PROMOTION, LINDA.

SERIOUSLY. I THINK IT'S AWESOME.

THANK YOU.

SO I HAVE DRAWN UP A SCHEDULE FOR THE NEXT TEN DAYS.

DO YOU THINK THAT THAT IS SOMETHING

YOU COULD COMMIT TO?

OR IS IT MORE OF A DAY-TO-DAY THING WITH YOU?

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

UH, I JUST WANTED TO ASK YOU,

DO YOU HAVE A SCHEDULE OF WHO I BANGED IN HERE,

THAT YOU WANNA GO OVER WITH WILF?

I KNOW YOU TOLD HIM ABOUT MARY, OKAY?

OH, AJ, YOU ARE SUCH A SWEET MAN,

AND I REALLY DON'T CARE

IF YOU BANGED ME ALREADY OR NOT.

WELL, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU DO CARE.

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU BANGED ME ALREADY OR NOT.

WOW.

AJ: WELL, I DIDN'T.

JUST SO YOU KNOW, I DON'T CARE WHO YOU FUCK.

I REALLY DON'T CARE.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE A SHOWER.

WELL, MAYBE YOU...

GOOD AFTERNOON, MA'AM. WELCOME TO REDMOND'S.

FUNNY THAT YOU'RE LOOKING AT THIS PIECE

BECAUSE THIS HAPPENS TO BE MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE!

CAN YOU GUYS SET UP MY NEW DESK

AND PLACE IT ACROSS FROM WILF'S?

ALSO, THIS PLACE IS FEELING TOO CLUTTERED.

THE SPACE NEEDS TO BREATHE.

YOU KNOW, I WANT THE LAYOUT

TO BE LIKE A NICE WALK IN THE PARK,

SO MAKE SOME PATHWAYS

AND SOME INVITING SPACES FOR PEOPLE TO BE IN.

CEDRIC: YEAH, OKAY, WE CAN HANDLE THAT.

CLYDE: WALK IN THE PARK, OKAY.

LINDA: OH, AND CLYDE, WHEN YOU'RE DONE,

I NEED YOU TO RUN DOWN TO MANPOWER, TAKE THIS,

AND ON YOUR WAY BACK,

YOU CAN PICK UP WILF'S BIRTHDAY CAKE.

IT'S AT HENNEBERRY'S UNDER HIS NAME.

OKAY.

THIS WAS MEANT TO BE, MAN!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, CED?

YOU'RE GETTING PAID TO GO LOOK FOR A JOB.

OKAY.

YEAH, KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN WHILE YOU'RE DOWN THERE.

AND REMEMBER, YOU FIND A BETTER JOBS WHEN...?

WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE A JOB.

THAT'S RIGHT!

NOT THE BOX- PLEASE DON'T-

FRIG OFF, CED!

THERE'S, THERE'S CUSTOMERS HERE AND THIS IS-

POP! OH, ALL RIGHT, IT'S FINE.

BOO-BOO-BOOP! COMBO!

COME ON, AJ! HURRY THE FUCK UP, PRETTY BOY!

(TOILET FLUSHES)

HOW'S IT GOING?

WHAT THE FUCK?

I KNOW YOU FUCKING SOLD ME OUT, OKAY?

I KNOW YOU TALKED TO WILF.

YOU WANTED TO BE VAN FOREMAN SO FUCKING BAD

THAT YOU HAD TO CRYING TO WILF AND TRY TO GET ME FIRED,

DID YOU, HUH?

WELL, GUESS WHAT, BUDDY?

IT DIDN'T WORK, OKAY? I'M STILL HERE.

OH, THAT'S BRILLIANT FUCKING POLICE WORK, JIM BEAN.

I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I DIDN'T SAY SHIT TO WILF!

IN FACT, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WENT AND RATTED ME OUT

FOR TALKING TO THAT SECRETARY WHO WAS TRYING BANG ME.

BULLSHIT! I NEVER-

SHE WASN'T TRYING TO BANG YOU.

YEAH, SHE WAS AND THAT MADE YOU JEALOUS

AND YOU HAD TO BE A DICKHEAD ABOUT IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCKING WHATEVER!

I DIDN'T FUCKING RAT YOU OUT, OKAY?

SHE CALLED THE OFFICE

AND COMPLAINED TO WILF ABOUT YOU, YOU FUCKING MORON.

OH, BULLSHIT! DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!

(HISSING) FUCKING LUCKY WE'RE AT WORK,

OR I'D SMACK YOUR FUCKING TEETH DOWN YOUR THROAT!

CALM THE FUCK DOWN.

CEDRIC: CAN YOU MOTHERFUCKERS KEEP IT DOWN?

THERE'S CUSTOMERS DOWN HERE!

IF THEY FUCKIN' HEARD THIS, I'LL FUCKIN' KILL YOU!

ALL RIGHT, BUDDY?

FUCKIN' SQUARE-JAWED, BEADY-EYED, FUCKIN' DOUCHE BAG.

(PHONES RING, LOW HUM OF CHATTER)

EXCUSE ME, HI.

I HAVE A REDMOND'S JOB POSTING.

UM, MAY I LEAVE THIS WITH YOU?

0KAY.

LINDA: THANK YOU, I LOVE IT.

CLYDE: IT'S GLASS. LINDA: I KNOW.

AWWWW... LITTLE BUDDY!

HEY, HOW'D IT GO?

WELL, THERE'S SOME STUFF OPENING UP.

OKAY, OKAY.

WHAT?

LIKE THIS.

WOW, THE CITY IS HIRING.

YEAH, THERE'S AN OPENING,

BUT YOU NEED TO HAVE A REFERENCE.

GET IT FROM WILF, MAN.

I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT.

THIS IS GOOD, CLYDE. I'M HAPPY FOR YOU, MAN.

THEY ARE GOING TO MISS US AROUND HERE.

SOMEBODY CATCH LITTLE BUDDY! HE'S GOT AN ELASTIC!

LINDA: HE WENT THAT WAY.

HOLD ON.

I GOT HIM! I GOT HIM!

CEDRIC, HE'S COMING BACK YOUR WAY!

CEDRIC, HE'S COMING YOUR WAY.

AGGGHHHHH!

AW FRIG, LITTLE BUDDY!

I GOT IT!

OH... THANKS, CLYDE.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE'S GETTING ALL THESE GOD DAMN ELASTICS.

(BARKING)

OH, LITTLE BUDDY, DON'T DO THAT AGAIN.

YOU SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH.

I KEEP TELLING YOU,

IF YOU'RE UNWRAPPING THE FLYERS,

PUT THE ELASTICS IN THE GARBAGE AFTERWARDS.

ALWAYS DO.

AJ, WE'RE GONNA MOVE THE LOVESEAT TO HALIFAX TODAY,

AND PLEASE, EVERYONE,

KEEP YOUR EYES OUT FOR ELASTICS ON THE FLOOR.

CLYDE, NOW IS A GOOD TIME TO TALK.

OKAY.

AJ, CAN YOU GIVE US A MINUTE?

YEAH.

LOVESEAT? AJ: YEAH.

OKAY, SO THIS IS ABOUT THE OLD SCHEDULE.

I SEE THAT WILF HAS PUT YOU IN -FOR APRIL 14TH AND 15 -TH OFF.

YEAH, NO - MARCH.

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

OKAY, WELL, LINDA, CAN YOU FIX IT?

NO, CLYDE, I CAN'T.

WE REALLY NEED YOU TO WORK THAT WEEKEND.

LOOK IT, I CAN GIVE YOU -THE 16TH AND 17 -TH OFF,

NO PROBLEM. (PHONE RINGS)

NO, THAT'S NOT GONNA WORK.

GOOD AFTERNOON, THIS IS REDMOND'S. THE KIDS ARE GONNA BE COMING.

THAT'S THE BEST I CAN DO.

HELLO, IT'S YOUR BROTHER, CLYDE, SPEAKING.

LINDA, YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO US.

ONE MOMENT, PLEASE. STOP IT RIGHT NOW.

I SAID NO.

THIS IS MY FIRST WEEK WITH THE SCHEDULE.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

JUST START GIVING MY FAMILY DAYS OFF?

YOU HAVE PUT ME IN A VERY DIFFICULT POSITION, CLYDE.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? DON'T WORRY.

BECAUSE PRETTY SOON I'M GONNA BE RUNNING REDMOND'S.

AJ: HEY, CED, WHERE YOU GOING, MAN?

YOU WANNA DO A LITTLE WORK FOR YOUR LAST DAY?

UH, NO. ACTUALLY, I'M GONNA LEAVE A LITTLE EARLY TODAY.

YOU DON'T MIND, DO YOU WILF? LINDA?

I NEED THE JACKET BACK, CEDRIC.

THE JACKET BACK?

STAYING TRUE TO FORM, AREN'T WE?

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, MAN, IT'S COLD OUTSIDE.

THAT'S HOW YOU GET DEAD.

I NEED THE JACKET!

WELL, CALL THE POLICE THEN. 911.

BRRRRRRRING! YEAH. HELLO, POLICE.

YES, I HAVE A MAN DOWN HERE WHO I PAY UNDER THE TABLE,

WHO'S ATTEMPTING TO LEAVE WITH A CHEAP WINDBREAKER

HE'S BEEN WEARING FOR TWO AND HALF YEARS.

KEEP THE JACKET.

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I FIGURED YOU'D SAY.

AJ: SHIT, BUDDY.

CEDRIC: HEY MAN, I'M GONNA MISS YOU TOO, MAN.

GOOD WORKING WITH YOU. ALL RIGHT?

AJ: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

CEDRIC: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU GOTTA DO, RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT, MAN, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, ALL RIGHT?

SEE YOU AROUND, BUDDY.

ARRIVEDERCI!

(KNOCKING)

CITY WORKER: HEY, MAN, THANKS FOR THE SMOKE.

HEY, EXCUSE ME.

YEAH.

I UNDERSTAND IF YOU WANT A JOB WITH THE CITY,

YOU NEED TO KNOW SOMEBODY?

YEAH. YEAH. THAT'S HOW I GOT MY JOB.

I'M TRYING TO, YOU KNOW, HOOK A FRIEND OF MINE UP,

YOU KNOW? DON'T I KNOW YOU FROM SOMEWHERE?

I DON'T THINK SO. I NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE.

WAIT A MINUTE. I DO KNOW YOU.

REDMOND'S FURNITURE COMMERCIAL.

YEAH, YEAH, REDMOND'S. YEAH, YEAH.

YOU'RE ON TV, MAN!

YOU KNOW, I ACTUALLY FORGOT I WAS IN A COMMERCIAL.

OH YEAH?

IT'S JUNK!

IT'S JUNK. YEAH, YEAH.

CHECK IT OUT, YOU KNOW ME, THEN YOU KNOW MY FRIEND TOO.

HE'S THE OTHER GUY IN THE COMMERCIAL;

HE'S THE BIG GUY.

OH YEAH, THE BIG GUY THAT'S LIKE ALL AWKWARD AND SHIT?

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

ANYWAY, I WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU COULD HELP US OUT

AND KIND OF- HEY, DO ME A FAVOUR.

CAN YOU DO "IT'S JUNK" FOR ME?

COME ON, ONE TIME. COME ON, MAN.

COME ON, ONE TIME.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

IT'S JUNK!

FUCK YEAH! THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT!

ALL RIGHT? ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

I APPRECIATE IT. AND MY FRIEND'S NAME IS CLYDE,

I'M GONNA WRITE HIS NUMBER

ON THE BACK OF THESE TICKETS, OKAY?

NO PROMISES. I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO THOUGH FOR YOU, OKAY?

OKAY, THANK YOU, MAN. ALL RIGHT.

REMEMBER - CLYDE.

CITY WORKER: CLYDE.

CEDRIC: ALL RIGHT, MAN. THANKS, YO!

OH, THAT SMELLS GOOD.

DID YOU GET A RECEIPT?

YUP. ROCK AND ROLL.

HEY, BUDDY, YOU WANNA SEE A GOOD SHOW TONIGHT?

YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS DOWN

TO THE SONS OF ROCK SHOW AT THE PALACE TONIGHT.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU LIKED THE SONS OF ROCK.

I DON'T - AT ALL. THEY FUCKING SUCK.

BUT HERE'S WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

AS SOON AS DENNIS WALKS OFF THE STAGE,

I'M GONNA FUCKIN' KILL HIM.

I'M GONNA RAM MY FIST RIGHT DOWN HIS FUCKIN' THROAT,

HOW 'BOUT THAT?

WHY?

AJ: HE FUCKIN' TOLD WILF I WAS DRINKING AT WORK.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT FUCKIN' SHIT?

WHO DOES THAT?

ARE YOU SURE IT WAS DENNIS?

AM I-YEAH, FUCKING POSITIVE.

WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE? WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

I MEAN, A LOT OF PEOPLE KNOW THAT YOU DRINK, AJ, SO...

WHAT? "A LOT OF PEOPLE KNOW I DRINK."

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

I'M JUST... I'M SAYING PEOPLE KNOW THAT YOU'RE SOCIAL

AND THAT YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME.

I MEAN, YOU'RE VAN FOREMAN.

THEY'RE PROBABLY JUST CONCERNED FOR YOUR SAFETY.

OH... (LAUGHS) THEY'RE CONCERNED.

YOU KNOW, OKAY, RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT?

I APPRECIATE THE FACT THAT EVERYONE'S CONCERNED

WITH WHO I'M FUCKING AND HOW MUCH I DRINK,

BUT LET ME MAKE SOMETHING CRYSTAL FUCKING CLEAR TO YOU,

MAN, I'M FUCKING FINE-

AJ! AJ! AJ!

(AJ HONKS HORN) FUCK!

AGGGGHHHHHH!

(VEHICLES SMASH, CAR ALARMS BLARE)

AJ: FUCK!

AJ, ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY?

SHIT! YES!

FUCK!

IT'S OKAY! IT'S OKAY!

AGGHHH!

URRRGHH!

AJ, THERE'A DIRTY FRIGGIN' STREET DOG AFTER THE CHICKEN!

HE STINKS, AJ!

GET AWAY FROM WILF'S CHICKEN!

WHERE ARE YOU GONNA GO?

AJ, WHERE ARE-

AGH! FUCK THE DOG AND THE CHICKEN. GO.

GO, GO. FUCKIN' GO, GO, GO, GO!

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT PUTTING THAT KNIFE

THROUGH LITTLE BUDDY'S FACE.

DENNIS: IT'S CAKE FOR FUCK SAKE.

I DON'T CARE. PUT THE KNIFE DOWN.

OH MY GOD.

JESUS MURPHY.

(PHONE RINGS)

GOOD AFTERNOON, REDMOND'S. LINDA SPEAKING.

UH, LINDA, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.

OH MY GOD, CLYDE, ARE YOU OKAY?

OKAY, CLYDE.

CLYDE: I'M FINE! WE'RE FINE!

OKAY, YOU'VE GOT US BOTH ON THE LINE.

WILF?

WHAT HAPPENED?

AJ CRASHED THE TRUCK AND SMASHED THREE CARS

AND THEN THE SHITTY, SHITTY STREET DOG CAME INTO THE CAB

AND STARTED EATING UP ALL YOUR CHICKEN,

AND A BUNCH OF CRAP CAME OUT THE BACK OF THE TRUCK

AND THEN ALL THESE PEOPLE STARTED TAKING IT.

HEY! HEY, PEOPLE! DON'T TAKE THAT STUFF!

THAT'S NOT YOUR STUFF!

I CAN'T HEAR YOU, CLYDE. CAN YOU PUT ALEX ON?

AJ'S NOT HERE; HE RAN AWAY. HE RAN.

WILF: OKAY, OKAY. ALL RIGHT, CLYDE,

ARE THE POLICE THERE YET?

NO. NO POLICE YET.

DENNIS, YOU NEED TO FUCK RIGHT OFF.

OKAY, AND ARE YOU CLOSE TO THE TRUCK?

YEAH, I'M RIGHT NEXT IT.

THERE'S PEOPLE TAKING ALL THIS CRAP.

GOOD, CLYDE.

UM, HERE'S WHAT I NEED YOU TO DO.

(SIREN WAILS IN THE DISTANCE)

THANK GOD NO ONE WAS HURT.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

NEVER MIND.

PUT ON YOUR HEADPHONES AND GO PRACTICE THE GUITAR.

(HUFFS) GLADLY.

LINDA, THE BASIC PRINCIPLE OF INSURANCE IS CONSENT.

NO CONSENT, NO INSURANCE.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I DON'T THINK I UNDERSTAND.

WATCH AND LEARN, LINDA, PAPER TRAIL.

(SIRENS WAIL IN THE DISTANCE)

WILF! WILF! WILF!

STAY, LITTLE BUDDY.

HOW ARE YOU? JUST STAY CALM.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.

OKAY, DEEP BREATH.

MR. REDMOND.

YES.

DETECTIVE GRAEME HOPKINS.

LINDA OH, DETECTIVE, HI, I'M LINDA.

I BELIEVE THAT WE WERE SPEAKING ON THE PHONE.

I'M THE ONE THAT CALLED IN THE STOLEN TRUCK.

I DON'T THINK YOU WERE TALKING TO ME,

BUT THAT IS WHY I'M HERE. WE FOUND IT.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO'D WANNA STEAL YOUR TRUCK?

YES, INDEED, WE DO.

UH, WE FIRED ONE OF OUR MOVERS RECENTLY,

FOR HIS SECOND DRINKING AND DRIVING INFRACTION.

LINDA: ANGER ISSUES.

OH, HE'S UH, OUT OF CONTROL. HE'S A WOMANIZER.

YEAH, DIFFICULT, DIFFICULT FELLOW. VOLATILE.

BUT HE, UH, HE LEFT SOMETIME TODAY

AND WE HAVEN'T SEEN HIM SINCE, HAVE WE, LINDA?

NO, NO, WE HAVEN'T SEEN HIM.

HE, UH, HE'S GONE AND UH,

I BELIEVE IT WOULD'VE BEEN JUST HIM IN THE TRUCK ONLY.

YEAH, OKAY.

HMM. ANYONE ELSE WITH ANY REASON?

UH, NO. NOT REALLY, NO.

HIS NAME IS ALEX JOHN BENNING.

A-L-E-X J-O-H-N B-E-N-N-I-N-G.

ALEX JOHN BENNING.

PILLAR OF THE COMMUNITY. THAT'S HIS NAME.

(PANTING)

(GULPING)

(EXHALES)

(HEAVY BREATHING)

(BANGING ON THE DOOR)

WHOO-HOO-HOOO!

HOLY FUCK. THAT WAS WILD.

PRETTY WILD.

EEEEEH!

BOOM! WHOO!

(BELCHES)

YOU TALK TO WILF?

YEP.

DID YOU TELL HIM I WAS IN ON IT?

NO, NO. NO-NO-NO.

YEAH! THAT'S MY BOY! PHOW!

WHAT'D HE SAY?

HE SAID TO GO HOME AND NOT TO TALK TO ANYONE

OR TELL ANYONE WHAT HAPPENED

AND TO MAKE SURE TO PULL THE INSURANCE AND THE REGISTRATION

OUT OF THE TRUCK, AND TO GO HOME.

HE SAID WHAT THE FUCK?

HE SAID TO GO HOME AND THEN UM...

TO NOT TALK AND TO-TO DESTROY THE INSURANCE AND REGISTRATION.

DESTROY THE... WHY? YOU GOT IT?

YEAH.

SEE, THEN WHY THE FUCK...

WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE SAY THAT?

IT'S NOT EXPIRED, BUD!

HERE LITTLE WILFY WILFY... WILF.

WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?

FUCKING DENNIS, MAN!

ALL ROADS LEAD BACK TO FUCKING DENNIS!

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO?

I'M GONNA GO DOWN TO THAT SHOW

AND I'M GONNA BUST HIS FUCKING FINGERS!

GIVE HIM A LITTLE TIME AWAY FROM THE GUITAR

AND A LITTLE TIME TO THING ABOUT HOW HE FUCKED UP

MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE! HOW ABOUT THAT?

OKAY. YOU KNOW WHAT, AJ?

MAYBE YOU JUST CALM DOWN A LITTLE BIT.

YOU KNOW AJ, WHY DON'T WE JUST CHILL OUT A LITTLE BIT

LIKE WE JUST WATCH TV AND MYABE THERE IS GAME-

BOOM! I'LL SEE YOU AT THE SHOW!

AJ, NO MORE RUNNING.

("EYE OF THE TIGER PLAYS)

♪

HAND RIGHT HERE.

GO AHEAD.

♪ Risin' up, back on the street ♪

♪ Did my time, took my chances ♪

♪ Went the distance Now I'm back on my feet ♪

♪ Just a man and his will to survive ♪

♪ So many times, it happens too fast ♪

♪ You trade your passion for glory ♪

♪ Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past ♪

FUCKING DOUCHE BAG.

♪ You must fight just to keep them alive ♪

♪ It's the eye of the tiger It's the thrill of the fight ♪

♪ Risin' up to the challenge of our rival ♪

♪ And the last known survivor Stalks his prey in the night ♪

♪ And he's watching us all with the... ♪

♪ Eye of the tiger ♪

OH, FUCK! FUCK!

HEY. HI.

I'M GREAT. LIN, ARE YOU OKAY.

HOW ARE YOU?

HOLLY SHIT UH... GOOD, GOOD.

ARE YOU OKAY 'CAUSE I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU ALL DAY

AND YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ANSWERING YOUR PHONE

AND I WAS WORRIED.

WE PANICKED, OKAY? I PANICKED AND RUN.

BUT I COULDN'T GET IN TOUCH WITH ANYBODY SO...

YOU KNOW, NOW I'M HERE,

I FIGURED I MIGHT RUN INTO YOU HERE

AND JUST CLEAR THINGS UP. BUT I...

I LOVE YOU... (CHUCKLE) JUST KIDDING!

I'M JOKING.

I WANNA KNOW IF YOU WERE DRINKING.

NO, I WAS DRIVING, LINDA.

I WASN'T DRINKING. NO, COME ON.

CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING THOUGH?

YES.

WE'RE INSURED, RIGHT?

YES.

RIGHT.

AJ WE'RE INSURED.

YEAH! WHOOOOO!

HEY! YOU SOUND FRINGIN' AWESOME, MAN!

THE GUITAR SOUNDS GREAT!

CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?

SORRY. WHAT?

SERIOUSLY AJ, DID OUR TIME TOGETHER MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?

WHAT?

BECAUSE YOU SAID IT DID.

DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID? YES.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I REMEMBER EVERYTHING.

I REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT I SAID, OKAY?

AND YES, I MEANT IT.

LET'S RELAX AND JUST HAVE A GOOD TIME.

LISTEN TO THIS SHITTY BAND. (CHUCKLE)

AJ: COME HERE. I'M COMING IN FOR ONE.

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY. COME HERE.

COMING IN FOR THE REAL THING RIGHT NOW YOU.

SHHHH-SHHH-SHHH. CALM DOWN.

LISTEN LET'S UH, SEE THAT TABLE OVER THERE?

RIGHT THERE.

I WANT YOU TO SIT IN THAT CHAIR AND I'M GONNA COME OVER THERE,

AND WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT THIS, OKAY?

OKAY? I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE UPSET.

LET'S GO RIGHT OVER THERE.

I'M GONNA BRING YOU WINE.

I'M GONNA MEET YOU RIGHT THERE, OKAY?

OKAY? YOU LOOK FUCKING HOT.

THANK YOU.

CAREFUL. CAREFUL.

RIGHT THERE.

(SONG ENDS, CROWD CHEERS)

HOW YOU DOING THERE, LADIES?

IS IT HOT, DO YOU GIRLS NEED SOME DRINK TICKETS?

DENNIS!

OOF!

YOU FUCK! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!

ALL RIGHT! OKAY! OKAY. OKAY.

HE FUCKING TOOK A SWING AT ME. TAKE IT EASY.

ALL RIGHT, AJ!

YOU WANNA MESS WITH THE BIG DAWGS?!

FUCK YOU! OOF!

NO DENNIS! STOP! STOP, MAN!

OWWW!

WHY DID YOU HIT ME, MAN?!

LINDA GET OFF HIM!

DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY BROTHER!

WE'RE COOL! YEAH, WE'RE COOL!

COME ON! GET OFF! LET GO OF HER!

HANDS OFF, MISTER!

AJ, DENNIS WASN'T THE ONE WHO TOLD WILF YOU WERE DRINKING -

IT WAS ME.

LINDA: WHAT?

I-I TOLD HIM.

OH, YOU KIDDING ME, MAN.

I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING TO WILF, YOU MEAT-SACK!

FUCK YOU!

HOW COULD YOU DO THAT, CLYDE!

HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?

I'M SORRY AJ, I DIDN'T MEAN TO

YOU SOLD ME OUT, MAN.

CLYDE: I'M SORRY, DENNIS, I'M SORRY.

YOU KNOW, GET THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE OUT OF HERE!

MAN: YOU DON'T FUCK WITH THE SET!

OOF!

LINDA, YOU KNOW, JUST LET HIM GO. LET HIM GO!

TWO KEITHS!

CAN I HAVE ONE? THREE KEITHS!

IS ONE OF THOSE FOR ME?

OH, FUCKING FOUR KEITHS THEN!

I ONLY GET FIVE!

LISTEN THANKS FOR LOADING THE VAN TONIGHT, CLYDE.

OH NO WORRIES. HERE.

THERE YOU GO.

YOU GUYS WERE GREAT.

YOU GUYS WERE JUST GREAT TONIGHT.

AND-AND DENNIS I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT AJ AND THE WHOLE THING.

I FEEL LIKE THAT WAS MY FAULT, YOU KNOW.

BOTTOM LIKE IS, CLYDE, YOU MANNED UP TONIGHT.

YOU ADMITTED WHAT YOU HAD TO.

AND BECAUSE OF THAT I'M GIVING YOU THIS

YOU EARNED THAT.

I CAN KEEP THIS?

THAT'S YOURS FOR KEEPS.

THANKS, MAN.

GREAT WELL, ALL RIGHT.

WHAT-WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING NOW?

I THINK WE GONNA BRING THESE LADIES OUT FOR A FEW DRINKS

SEE IF WE CAN GET THEM FUCKED UP.

OKAY.

WELL, YOU KNOW, I CAN PROBABLY ROCK A FEW DRINKS

WITH YOU GUYS OR...

I DON'T THINK WE GOT ROOM IN THE VAN, CLYDE.

OKAY. YEAH.

I MEAN, YOU SAW HOW MUCH SHIT WE GOT IN THERE.

THERE IS THE DRUMS AND THE AMPS

AND THE CHICKS WE'RE TRYING TO BANG.

I DIDN'T- I WAS JUST JOKING.

ALL RIGHT. SEE YOU TOMORROW.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO GUYS.

SEE YOU TOMORROW.

MAN: TIME TO GO HOME, FOLKS!

(SLOW RENDITION) * Risin' up, back on the street ♪

♪ Did my time, took my chances ♪

♪ Went the distance Now I'm back on my feet ♪

♪ Just a man and his will to survive ♪

♪ So many times, it happens too fast ♪

♪ You trade your passion for glory ♪

♪ Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past ♪

♪ You must fight just to keep them alive ♪

HEY LITTLE, BUDDY.

YOU OKAY?

WHERE IS WILF?

HOLLY SHIT! (GULPS)

DOG: DAMN BOY!

LITTLE BUDDY... IS IT ALL REALLY HAPPENING?

PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T FLY AWAY.

GET DOWN RIGHT NOW.

(EMOTIONAL SIGH) HOLLY FRANK.

LITTLE BUDDY.

DOG: LITTLE BUDDY, MOTHERFUCKER!

LITTLE BUDDY, COME BACK!

YOU CAN'T-YOU CAN'T FLY AWAY BECAUSE YOU ARE A DOG FLYING.

OKAY, LITTLE BUDDY?

WHERE IS LITTLE BUDDY?

CLYDE? WHERE IS LITTLE BUDDY?

I-I DON'T KNOW.

WHERE IS LITTLE BUDDY?

HE DIDN'T GET OUT, DID HE?

THERE IS TRAFFIC OUT THERE.

I DON'T KNOW IF HE GOT OUT.

WHERE IS HE, CLYDE?

I DON'T KNOW. IF HE-IF HE WAS FRYING OR NOT,

BUT HE'S-BECAUSE HE'S A DOG SO THERE IS NO WINGS.

LITTLE BUDDY...

(CRYING) WHERE IS HE?

BUDDY?

LITTLE BUDDY!

I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS!

DON'T TRUST WILF,

HE KILLED BIGGIE AND TUPAC.

YOU'RE GONNA END UP WORKING FOR REDMAN'S FOREVER.

YOU GOTTA KNOW SOMEBODY IF YOU WANNA WORK FOR THE CITY.

WHERE IS LITTLE BUDDY?

AND WHAT IS HE EATING? HEH?

EATING MORE RUBBER BANDS AND SHIT?

HE'S NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO DIGEST THAT SHIT, MAN!

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON AROUND HERE?

WHERE IS LITTLE BUDDY?

(KIDS LAUGHING)

HEY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!

GET OUT OF HERE? GO TO SCHOOLS.

(KIDS RUN, SCREAMING)

(VACUUM WHIRS)

WILF: LINDA!

LINDA. OOH! YES, WILF.

YOU'RE BOTHER CLYDE IS ON DISPLAY IN THE FRONT WINDOW.

WHAT?

CLYDE! CLYDE.

HONEY, I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU IN ONCE PIECE,

BUT YOU CAN'T SLEEP HERE.

HONEY, WAKE UP!

THE STORE IS GONNA OPEN IN LIKE TEN MINUTES.

FRIG OFF, LIN.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

DID YOU SLEEP HERE ALL NIGHT?

WHAT TIME IS IT?

TEN AFTER NINE.

WAIT. CLYDE I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE ACCIDENT.

CLYDE!

GOTTA SANITIZE THIS DAMN COUCH.

CAN I GET YOU YOUR MORNING COFFEE, WILF?

WHERE THE HELL IS HE GOING?

I DON'T KNOW.

HEY! YOU MADE IT! ALL RIGHT!

I WOULDN'T MISS IT! ALL RIGHT!

NEW SONS OF ROCK SHIT, RIGHT?

YEAH. WHACK!

HEY, CLYDE YOU MADE IT? HI.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT, HERE IS SOME HOMEMADE LASAGNA.

OH, THANKS, CHRISTINE.

AND HERE IS SOME PARMESAN YOU CAN SPRINKLE ON IT

AFTER YOU MICROWAVE IT.

ALL RIGHT. TAKE CARE, CLYDE.

OKAY. THANK YOU.

THAT WAS OUR LUNCH.

CHRISTINE: OH, CEDRIC.

HEY, DON'T-DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, MAN.

YOU KNOW HOW WOMEN ARE.

HEY, LISTEN MAN, I'M GONNA MISS YOU MAN.

OKAY, I'LL MISS YOU.

I'LL MISS YOU TOO.

WHEN WE GET DOWN THERE AND I'M TAKE SOME PICTURES AND STUFF

AND WE'LL SEND THEM UP, YOU KNOW.

YOU AND THE GUYS CAN SEE HOW WE'RE DOING.

I'LL CALL YOU. THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.

THANK YOU, MAN.

HEY LOOK, MAN, I-I'M OUT OF HERE. I'M OUT.

JUST GET OUT OF HERE.

(BUS RUMBLES OFF)

♪

♪

(CHUCKLES)

DENNIS: OH, WHOA CLYDE! COME ON, MAN.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA EAT THAT, THAT WAS ON THE FLOOR.

LITTLE BUDDY WOULDN'T EAT THAT,

HE'S GOT MORE DIGNITY THEN YOU AND HE'S A FRUITY LITTLE DOG.

LOOK MAN, WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY?

I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT.

IT'S NOT WORTH IT.

ALL RIGHT, CLYDE.

I WANT YOU TO BE HONEST WITH ME, MAN.

HOW DID THE MIX SOUND LAST NIGHT

DON'T TELL ME, LET ME GUESS

THERE WAS TOO MUCH BASE AND DRUMS RIGHT AND VOCAL.

THERE IS ALWAYS TOO MUCH VOCAL.

CLYDE WHAT IS THIS?

YEAH, I DROPPED MY FOOD.

HONEY, THAT IS JUST DIRTY.

DENNIS: SEE, YOUR BOYFRIEND, AJ, GOT ARRESTED LAST NIGHT.

HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND AND THAT'S FINE

BECAUSE HE'S ACTUALLY NOT ON THE SCHEDULE TODAY

LISTEN I HAVE GOOD NEWS

I THINK I CAN GET YOU OUT BY THREE OR FOUR ON SATURDAY

AND GIVE YOU HALF A DAY OF SUNDAY OFF.

FINISH UP. WILF WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.

DO NOT TOUCH MY BROTHERS FOOD.

I MEAN IT.

CLYDE, SIT DOWN. RELAX.

OLAY. OKAY. SO WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT-

WILF I NEED TO TALK.

YOU SENT ME BACK TO THE TRUCK TO TAKE THE INSURANCE OUT.

I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE,

BUT YOU USED ME.

I-I FLED THE SCENE OF AN ACCIDENT.

I CAN GO TO JAIL FOR THAT.

NO. NO. NO WAY.

CLYDE, YOU HAD DONE NOTHING WRONG.

YOU GONNA GET OFF SCOT-FREE.

AND BELIEVE ME YOU DON'T NEED THIS ON YOUR RECORD.

YOU DID THE RIGHT THING.

AND YOU DID DESTROY THOSE INSURANCE PAPERS, RIGHT?

WELL, NO.

AJ TOOK THEM FROM ME BEFORE I COULD DO THAT.

WHA?

HE TOOK IT.

OH GOD. WHAT?

NO IT'S OKAY, WE'RE GONNA HANDLE THIS.

DENNIS: LINDA, I NEED YOU TO CHANGE THE SCHEDULE, BABE.

I'VE GOT A COUPLE OF GIGS NEXT WEEK.

NOT NOW, DENNIS.

WELL, WHEN THEN?

LINDA I NEED THE WEEKEND OFF.

OH, CLYDE WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS.

MY APOLOGIES, CLYDE.

I'M REALLY SORRY THAT DIDN'T WORK OUT,

BUT WE NEED YOU THIS WEEKEND.

I QUIT.

AND I NEED YOU TO WRITE ME A REFERENCE LETTER.

(SIGHS)

W-WAIT! WAIT A SECOND.

LOOK, LOOK, I KNOW THAT THINGS HAVE BEEN

I LITTLE BUMPY AROUND HERE

BUT CLYDE, COME ON!

HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF I MADE YOU THE VAN FOREMAN?

WOULD YOU STAY? MORE PAY. MORE RESPONSIBILITY.

DENNIS: WHAT?! ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!

WHAT? YOU GONNA PROMOTE THIS RETARD OVER ME?

CLYDE HERE IS WORTH TEN OF YOU,

YOU NO TALENT, PIECE OF SHIT WANNABE.

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!

AND YOU PUT YOUR EARPHONES ON.

JESUS WILF, YOU GOT NO ROCK AND ROLL IN YOU, YOU KNOW.

AT THE BOTTOM OF THE ROCK AND ROLL TOTEM

THERE IS BIEBER AND THEN DR. PHIL

AND THEN YOU'RE LIKE HERE.

SORRY CLYDE. WHAT DO YOU SAY?

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE OUR NEW DRIVER?!

NO.

DIDN'T YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?

DOES ANYBODY LISTEN? AT ALL?

I QUIT!

AND I NEED YOU TO WRITE ME REFERENCE -

A GOOD ONE.

I'VE EARNED IT.

WILF...

WILF I'M SORRY TO LEAVE YOU WITH NOBODY.

NO. CLYDE DON'T WORRY.

THERE ARE SOME EXCELLENT CANDIDATES ON THEIR WAY IN...

RIGHT NOW.

CLYDE...

WILF, I DON'T NEED YOU TO WRITE ME A CHEQUE

I JUST WANT A REFERENCE.

POLICE: MR. EDMOND, LINDA.

WE FOUND YOUR GUY.

AJ BENNING, DOWNTOWN DRUNKEN ON ASSAULT LAST NIGHT.

WEIRD THING IS WE FOUND A SECOND SET

OF INSURANCE PAPERS ON HIS PERSON.

HE TOLD US THAT THE VALID INSURANCE

BE REMOVED FROM THE VEHICLE AND DESTROYED.

HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN HAVING TWO SETS OF INSURANCE

ON THE SAME VEHICLE, HMM?

(GULP)

DETECTIVE, WOULD YOU GIVE ME MOMENT PLEASE. LINDA.

MAY I HAVE A WORD WITH YOU?

I WANNA SAY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR PATIENCE.

CLYDE, I'M GONNA WRITE YOU A LETTER OF REFERENCE,

A GLOWING LETTER OF REFERENCE.

BECAUSE OF ALL YOUR YEARS DEVOTION HERE AT REDMOND'S,

AND UH, I HOPE THIS LITTLE SOMETHING

WILL HELP YOU GET THOUGH THE IN BETWEEN.

I THINK THERE IS A SEVERANCE - YOU, YOU DESERVE IT

OH, THAT'S VERY KIND OF YOU WILF.

YOU'RE A GOOD MAN, CLYDE.

YOU'RE GONNA DO OKAY.

WE HAD A BIT OF A TRAGEDY

MR. REDMOND RECENTLY LOST HIS WIFE,

SO THINGS HAVE BEEN A LITTLE BIT SENSITIVE.

I'M SORRY. HE'S CONFUSED.

SO WE GONNA GET THIS SORTED ALL OUT.

OKAY. GOOD. GOOD.

THANKS, CLYDE.

LISTEN I KNOW YOU'VE HAD YOUR EYE ON THOSE BUNK BEDS

FOR YOUR KIDS AND...

THEY'RE YOURS TAKE THEM.

♪ It's the Eye of the tiger ♪

BEST OF LUCK.

♪ Risin' up to the challenge Of our rival ♪

♪ And the last known survivor ♪

♪ Stalks his prey in the night ♪

♪ And he's watching us all with the... ♪

♪ Eye of the tiger ♪

♪ Face to face, out in the heat ♪

♪ Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry ♪

♪ They stack the odds Still we take to the street ♪

(CAR HONKS)

♪ For the kill with the skill to survive ♪

AGHHHHH!

BOY: THE MONSTER!

GIRL: HI DADDY!

(SCREAMING)

(SCARY SOUNDS)

HEY! COME HERE, BETH!

HEY WHAT'S UP, RYAN? HOW ARE YOU, BUDDY?!

OHHH.

HEY, HOW ARE YOU DOING, BRENDA?

YEAHHH! WHOOOO!

BOTH: WOW!

WOW! YOU REALLY CHANGED IT, CLYDE.

THANK YOU!

HEY, HAVE FUN WITH DADDY, GUYS.

KIDS: BYE.

ALL RIGHT GUYS, WHO WANTS TO OPEN SOME PRESENTS?

COME HERE, BETH.

OKAY, THIS ONE, I THINK THIS IS FOR YOU.

(PHONE RINGS, ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS)

HEY CLYDE, MY NAME IS JOEY DUNCAN,

I WORK DOWN AT THE CITY.

I WAS TALKING TO YOUR BUD, CEDRIC, THERE.

HE GAVE ME YOUR NUMBER

HE SAYS YOU WANNA WORK FOR THE CITY TOO.

WELL, IT IS BUSY AS SHIT DOWN HERE, MAN,

I TELL YOU, WE'RE WORKING OUR BALLS OFF,

AND WE CAN REALLY USE YOUR HELP,

SO COME ON DOWN TO THE OFFICE TOMORROW

IF ANYONE ASKS JUST TELL THEM YOU KNOW ME.

♪ Feel, feel it grow ♪

♪ In your mind, In your mind ♪

ALL RIGHT BREAK TIME!

♪ Life is how you live it Through time, thought time ♪

♪ And there is no dessert sun ♪

♪ That is hot enough to feed your fire ♪

♪ We shipwreck like fools only to become the oceans choir ♪

♪ And the sun dies until it's reborn ♪

♪ But there's no road that ain't a hard road to travel on ♪

♪ Got lost on the way, but you found the road again ♪

♪ Stay true to your friends, ♪

♪ 'Cause they'll save you in the end ♪

♪ There must be something in the air, in the air ♪

♪ Some kind of answer to my prayers, to my prayers ♪

♪ Some kind of answer to my prayers ♪