Original subtitles

Authentic souvenirs. Hollywood Boulevard souvenirs.

How you doin', buddy?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you so pretty. Thank you.

See anything, Jerry?

Some stakeout.

Looks dead to me.

Thank you, sir. God bless you. Get that.

God bless you, sir. Thank you.

Waitin' on Jesus!

Well, our shift is through.

Time to pack it in, my friend.

Come on, it's not gonna be that bad.

It's just like startin' a new chapter

Think about it.

Think about all the free time

to do all the things we want to do, huh?

Which, by the way, keep an eye

We're gonna need the cash.

Well, how about that?

Well, I guess, sir, we get to go out in

Let's go!

Get out of the way!

Down, Jerry. All right, we're comin' in

Go through the front.

Gotcha, Dooley. We're in the front.

Where's my backup? Where's my backup?

I'm a cop, I'm a cop,

Freeze, assholes!

Surprise!

You think we were letting' you go

Get in here!

Congratulations, old man.

It's all downhill from here.

Oh, you guys.

Officer needs a beer. Officer needs a beer.

Yeah. Give him four beers.

That officer needs a lot of beers.

Happy retirement, party baby.

Come here, give me a kiss.

Wow, this is really a surprise!

Thank you. It's very nice.

I will put this in my collection.

What's this? I don't know.

This is from the Auto Pool.

Well, hey, look at that.

Hey, how about this?

We put batteries in it so you wouldn't have to go

Oh. That is really cool, you want to try it?

Look, he's already happy about it.

Hey, Jerry Lee, look at this. You ready?

It's a police car. Look out, Jerry.

Come on, you can get it.

Look out, Jerry Lee. Come on.

Oh!

Look out, look out! Your feet, your feet,

Oh, he got it! He got it!

Oh, don't break it, Jerry.

Come on. Oh, boy.

Oh, man, you broke it. Come here, boy.

Oh, what a good boy, good boy.

How about that?

Well, this is the last one.

It's from the girls in the Dispatch.

Dispatch. Yeah. Well, thank you.

It's for Jerry Lee's collar.

Very nice, very nice.

Oh, look at that.

It's a picture of you and a picture of me.

You know, I love those guys, I do.

But I am so glad this job is over.

I am done bein' a cop.

I am done with the shootouts.

I am done with the fistfights.

Lemme tell you somethin', Jerry Lee.

The next time I get punched, bit,

it's gonna be because...

Because I have a girlfriend.

Here.

Happy retirement, partner.

Attaboy, attaboy.

My sentiments exactly.

Ooh! Bad boy. Come on, Dooley.

Come on. Closin' time.

Oh, I love you, Petey, I really do.

You're the best friend a man could have, really.

Except for a dog.

I love you, too. But we gotta

I know. I know you're right, probably right.

But just one more. Jerry Lee wants one more.

One more with just the detectives.

Listen, you got a big day tomorrow.

It's your first day off.

I know, and I'm gettin'... I'm gonna pick up

my pension check, and then what I'm gonna do is

I'm gonna have my car detailed.

And then Jerry Lee and I...

Jerry Lee and I are gonna hit the road, Jack.

A vacation. That's nice. Why not?

I mean, I already got it mapped out.

We're gonna go coast to coast

You're not drivin' anywhere

It's goes to Chicago I think.

I said the coast. Lake Michigan is the coast.

What...the hell was that?

Oh.

All right, buddy, we slept that off.

I feel a little hung over, but I know I'm gonna

I'm gonna get through this retirement.

You and I are out. We're free. We're out.

Out...of...gas.

We're outta gas!

Out of gas. I can't believe it!

I shouldn't have canceled that AAA card.

I am so cheap!

All right. We're retired, we're free.

You know what I'm gonna do?

Yes, retired people ride in cabs all the time.

Where are we?

That's the 10... Oh, gimme that cell phone.

Retired people have cell phones.

We'll call a cab.

Yes, can you give me the number of the, uh...

Yellow Cab Company?

Hey, Jerry Lee!

What's up?

Jerry Lee.

What's goin' on?

What do you got?

Oh, no. Man, lemme see.

Just our luck.

Okay, buddy.

Where are they?

Yeah, emergency.

Take it easy. What do you got?

All right, buddy, these guys are serious.

Easy.

Hold on.

Shh. Attaboy.

Don't... Don't sneeze!

Shh! Jerry!

Come on!

Stop! Police!

Hold it!

Jerry Lee!

Hey, wait for me!

Get 'em!

Get this outta here.

Shit.

Easy, boy.

That's mine, dog.

Jerry Lee, down!

Jerry Lee!

Jerry Lee!

Jerry Lee, come here.

Come here. Are you all right?

Stay where you are!

Hands in the air.

Hands in the air! Now, drop your weapon.

I'm a cop. Control that dog.

Control that dog! Drop your weapon.

Heel, Jerry.

Heel.

Federal agents. You're under arrest.

For what?

It's all right. Now, just calm down.

Do you guys make it a practice

to arrest officers while you're doing backup?

That's mighty fine police work.

You're pretty cocky for a cop

Busted? What, are you suggesting

Got a different point of view?

I was on my way home.

I observed a two-eleven in progress.

Observed? Well, Jerry Lee

The dog heard something?

Dog heard something. We approached the premises,

I found a dead security guard and

I went into the premises, found another

Jerry Lee tracked the perps,

we observed them in the middle

They heard us, they fled, I followed in pursuit.

The one guy killed the other guy

and then took off while you guys

and your three-ring circus were arresting me.

And the perp who escaped, what'd he look like?

Six foot, 185 pounds, armed, skilled shooter, agile.

I'd say had military background.

Distinguishing features?

Couldn't tell. Had gloves and a mask on,

Any idea what he was after?

Gosh, I'm sorry, guys.

You know, I was gonna make 'em

and have a chat, but they were too busy

You want to find out what they stole, why

Or better yet, why don't you

you lost and quit sweatin' my ass?

I was just doin' my job. Your job?

You have no job. As of midnight

That makes you a civilian.

A civilian who's now mixed up in a serious

Calm down, calm down.

You don't worry about a thing now.

They got nothin' on us.

What could they possibly do, huh?

What?

They froze my pension?

Tough luck, Dooley. It's department policy.

You'll get your pension

when the Department of Justice

Those clowns couldn't close their

Come on, I'll be dead before I see that money.

It's out of my hands, Dooley.

It's a Federal issue now.

Those guys have no idea who this guy is,

The only way I'm gonna get my pension back is

Oh, no. No way, uh-uh.

Look, you are retired now, Dooley.

You're not a cop anymore. Is that clear?

Then go home.

Practice your whittling. Take a cooking class

But you stay out of this.

No problem, sir. Yes, sir.

Sure, no problem.

Really sorry, Dooley.

Hey, now, if there's anything

anything at all, you just say the word.

Well, actually, uh, could you spot me

Wife's birthday. Can't do it.

Hey, Petey, ol' pal.

Can you spot me a couple of hundred bucks?

You know, just to tide me over

I'm still payin' off the boat.

Yeah. No, sure, I understand.

Hey, anybody, hey, listen up.

Listen, you know, uh, kind of embarrassed, you know.

As humiliating as this sounds...

I'm kind of in a financial jam,

and I was wondering if, uh,

anybody could lend, you know, one of your own

a couple of hundred bucks

to see me through this difficult

It would be a, you know, a great opportunity

Anybody?

You still got your P.I. license, don't you?

Yeah. So use that.

Yeah, terrific. What am I gonna live on

How you doin', fella?

Hey, what about breeding Jerry Lee?

Him? Jerry Lee? Yeah.

I can't do that. He's a rock solid

People are lookin' for decorated sires like

I hear you can get $1500 a pop.

1500 bucks a pop?

Hello, hi, dog owners.

Dog owners.

Hi.

Uh, any of you lookin' to breed,

Cute little puppies?

You know, the cute little furry things.

I got a champion dog right here.

If you are, here, here's the dad right here.

He is a stud.

And, and he, he's hot to breed.

Hey, there, handsome. Lookin' to stud?

Oh, uh, I'm sorry.

I think you have the wrong idea.

I was just talking to your dog.

Oh, Jerry. Uh, I'm sorry.

Maurice Charles. Oh.

Professional breeder. This is Champion.

He thinks he's a big dog.

Breeder, huh? That's great.

I'm Thomas Dooley. This is my dog Jerry Lee.

Oh, please! Mr. Tough Guy, huh?

Yeah, well, he's a big one, yeah.

This animal's got remarkable structure.

And look how lovely his markings.

Does he have his papers? Uh, papers?

The American Kennel Club,

C.O.R.E. class rating, Schutzhund titles?

Oh, yeah, yeah, I got papers

I mean, this is a champion police dog.

A-one, I mean, decorated dog.

He's a stud, he's a stud.

You should come by my place, I don't know,

Three? Yeah. I've got some clients

We're not doing anything. That'd be great.

Let's go poop. Thank you, Maurice.

You hear that?

I don't care what you think. This is non-negotiable.

You bring the chips? They're at home in my safe.

Oh, yeah?

All of 'em, including the alpha?

You surprise me, Frankie.

And when did you start taking an interest in computers?

Oh, about the minute I heard

you were havin' a problem at the lab

Well, I wouldn't worry about it.

Good. 'Cause my client doesn't like risk.

You got till the end of the week.

After that, no deal.

Tell your client, he'll get his

But the price just doubled for his lack of faith.

Mr. Dooley

Mr. Dooley. Yes.

Yes. Maurice, how are you? Hi.

What a lovely home you have here.

Boy, set you back a few bucks, huh?

Detective Dooley, I'd like you to meet Jack

and their bitch Jacqueline.

How do you do? Greetings.

Well, hello, Jacqueline. Aren't you a pretty dog?

Yes.

Well, it's, it's, it's so nice...

To meet you.

Uh, how old is Jacqueline?

Get your nose outta my ass! What's your problem?

Did you bring his papers? Yes.

I mean, they're not all, uh,

I got some coffee stains on 'em.

But you can see that he's a really nicely bred dog.

Um, there you go. This is the papers right here.

Jerry Lee! Excuse me. Jerry Lee!

Absolutely not.

We cannot possibly breed our Jacqueline

We demand nothing less than perfection.

Isn't that right, girl? Hmm?

Isn't that right? We don't like the bad dogs.

No, we don't like the bad attitude.

No, we don't like bad training.

We don't like the dirty dogs, do we?

No...

No.

Sit. Sit. Ah!

No.

No, thank you.

No, I don't think he... He doesn't like her.

One more. Please. I think you're going to love her.

Hi. I'm sorry I'm late.

Sit, Molly. Good girl.

Detective Thomas Dooley, Jerry Lee.

Catherine Coleman and Molly.

Hi.

Hi.

Catherine? Yeah.

Um, why would you and Molly want to have puppies?

My sisters each have kids,

and I wanted to give each one of them a puppy,

and German Shepherds are so protective.

So I was kind of hoping we could work somethin' out.

Well, I, uh...

I don't see why not.

Where do we sign?

Okay, buddy, we're home.

Come on.

Come on. Come on, let's go.

What's with you, ridin' in the back seat?

You know, you've been weird all day.

You all right?

Come on, let's go.

You want to stay here tonight?

Fine, stay there.

I'm goin' in. I'm gonna get

Some pizza. Some miso soup.

You stay there tonight.

Bye.

Come on.

Leash.

Good boy.

You know, I got you for free.

I can go to the pound and get another one for free.

With this attitude like this, I just might do that.

Shut it down! Shut it down!

You're hurting me! I've been shot!

You got bad, bad gums.

Pizza in there. So that's it.

Yeah, sure.

Hi. Hi.

This is for you. Thanks.

Come on in.

Using the dog as cover.

Clever. Very clever.

Come on, Jerry, come on.

Uh, have a seat, please, please, please.

Sit, Molly. See there?

Good girl. Good.

Uh, Molly, this is Jerry Lee.

Jerry.

Uh, is there something wrong?

No, nothing.

I'll just be a second.

Jerry Lee, what's the matter with you?

Come on, I know you're nervous, and

But, you know this is how you guys

You know, you meet, you do it.

Uh, excuse me. Is there a problem here?

No, you know, I just think he's a little

It's the first time he's ever done it.

I think what he needs is a little, uh,

Why don't you let me help him?

Help? You mean, help?

Help, yes.

I'll talk to him.

Come here. Look at me.

Listen, you've gotta do this for the team, man.

You gotta step up.

You gotta look at that girl

Come on. We need the cash.

You understand that? We need the money.

Believe me, you don't want the alternative.

You want Maurice...

Huh?

All right, then. Just pretend.

Pretend it's, uh...

Come on.

Don't fight me on this one. Come on.

Are you sure about this? Trust me.

Come on, take a look.

Will you just take a look?

Pretty, huh? You like her.

She likes you.

Okay, so half now and half when

less my handling fee, of course.

Thank you, very much.

Well, my work here is done.

I'll be in touch. Okay.

Stud. You're a stud.

Hi, Molly. I'm so sorry about the costume.

But I told you it would work, didn't I?

Now, you're gonna give me one of the pups, right?

Yeah, you'll have the pick of the litter.

Yep. All right.

Geez, look at this, a truck.

You drive a truck. Yeah.

I mean, I know. It's just that

you know, many, uh... Oh, women driving pickups.

Well, you just don't, that's all, you know.

Well, see, I do a lot of gardening,

some landscape architecture, that sort of thing,

Well, you know, I love plants.

And trees.

Sycamores. Elm.

Willows

Shrubs. Shrubs?

Shrubs.

Okay.

Nice doin' business with you.

We'll see you again.

Bye.

Bye-bye.

Oh, yeah.

Look at this, buddy.

Look at all this money.

You know what I think we're gonna do?

I think we're gonna reinvest in ourselves.

We're gonna go to the newspaper,

put an ad in for our P.I. business.

Just until we get the pension check.

No, no, you can't spend money.

No, no, no, it's not yours.

I'll get you some kibble out of it,

Look at that.

I don't like that dog.

Why you guys tailin' me?

You're a suspect in a Federal investigation.

It's our job.

Well, I gave you everything I know.

You already screwed up my pension.

Hey, you want to do me a favor?

Leave me alone for the rest of my life.

Sorry, Dooley. No can do.

Rules are rules.

I can't believe you did that.

The dog bit the tire.

Hey! See ya!

Good boy, Jerry.

Look at this guy.

Don't wave back.

Morning, assholes.

That's it!

Oh. Oh, how terrible.

Suckers.

No! Not worth the suit, man.

Come on.

Not worth the suit.

Here it is, here it is, here it is.

"Canine private investigator, at your service.

"Need to collect a loan? Worried about loved ones?"

What are you doin' up there?

All right, that's it.

We're definitely goin' to the vet. Now.

There's your problem, right there.

Jerry Lee swallowed something he shouldn't have.

He's constipated. Very.

What the hell is it? Your guess is

Give it a couple of days, it'll pass.

When it does, give me a call.

I'd like to know what it is.

In the meantime, you might want to buy

Air freshener?

Stop that!

What the hell did you eat?

What did you swallow?

For cryin' out loud...

Probably those assholes out there.

No, you can't use my can!

I help you?

I'm sorry. Did I come at a bad time?

No, no, no.

Well, I was looking for Thomas Dooley,

Yes, that's me.

Oh, come in, please. Please, please. Come in.

There you go. It's clean.

Okay, so...

You need a private investigator?

I, uh, I don't really know where to begin.

I guess... Well, just start.

You know, just go. Just start.

I think something horrible has happened

Oh. He disappeared a week ago.

A week ago? Yeah.

Well, uh, has this happened before?

We were in the middle of wedding plans at dinner,

and we had an argument over the invitations.

Well, he stormed out of the restaurant, and I...

I called him all night on his cell,

Nobody answered.

And that was the last time I saw him.

Here. Please. Oh. Thanks.

It's not dirty. I mean, it's clean enough.

So...

Lookit, we're gonna find him...

If he's out there.

Now, does your, uh, future husband have a name?

Kevin Wingate.

Wingate.

Now, did he owe any money? Does he have any enemies?

Kevin? No. It's impossible.

He's never been anything but kind and reliable

I'm gonna need some more specific information.

Uh, do you have any kind of Social Security numbers or...

It's everything I could think of.

Social Security numbers, phone numbers,

old credit card receipts, e-mail.

The photo is from our engagement party.

Please find him.

Money is no object.

Well, I'm glad you brought that up,

because it's, it's kind of expensive.

It's a hundred dollars an hour, plus expenses.

I can show receipts for all the expense...

Will $1000 be enough for a retainer?

That'll work.

Oh. Oh.

Just step over him.

Jerry, behave.

Thank you, Detective. I feel better already.

And I'm not usually like this.

Well, as soon as I find somethin' out

I'll be glad to give you a call.

How do I find you?

Here's my card.

Well, Laura, don't you worry.

You're in good hands and paws.

Is he all right? Yeah.

No, he's just a little jet lagged.

But as soon as he gets some rest,

You can't find a better sleuth

If you say so, Detective.

Please, find Kevin.

Yes.

Why must you do that when I'm with a client?

What is with you?

It's gonna be a long night.

Kevin Wingate.

Princeton undergrad. Harvard MBA.

Lettered both in golf and tennis.

Investment banker. Holdings in

You stink.

Beans?

Oh, yeah, this'll make it happen.

How about this? Cabbage?

That's good. That'll blow it out for you.

Prunes? Just one?

Okay, just one.

All right.

Dodger Dog. Yeah.

This looks like mineral oil, but it's not.

Mineral oil. Curry powder.

Hot.

Mmm! Okay, bud. Ready?

Oh, yeah. That's good, bud,

That's gonna make it happen, brother. Pizza.

Mmmm. Look at that.

How's that look? You like that? Huh?

Mmmm. Here we go. Come on, come on.

I know this is killin' you, Jer.

But trust me, you're gonna thank me in the morning.

You want some Alka-Seltzer? You want some Alka-Seltzer?

I'll get you some Alka-Seltzer.

All right, go poo-poo.

Come on, hurry up. Poo-poo, ka-ka.

You want some privacy? Is that it?

Go on. I'm not watchin'. Go on.

Gonna park my butt right here, and you work your butt.

Come on, hurry up. Freezin' my nuts off here.

Sparky. Sparky! Sparkster!

Jerry Lee?

See? What did I tell ya'?

Pizza. You feel better?

So what's up, Sato? What is it?

I don't know who you've been hangin' out with, Dooley,

but you've got some very smart friends, brother.

This is a beta-test schematic of your microchip.

Now, see these design patterns and all those

Right there? Yeah.

This technology's been in development for years,

but no one's ever been able to crack it.

Until now. You got it, man. This device?

Light years ahead of anything I've even read about.

Mmm. It's worth somethin' then, huh?

Well, you'd be stoked if you had the whole string.

This chip is what we call an alpha.

It's kind of like the big kahuna of microchips.

Now, it contains all the command data that allows

all the slave chips to function properly.

Judging from these design patterns here,

there's about three more chips that go along with it.

If you had all four, there's no telling what

Okay, pretend I got 'em.

What then?

Dude, you could put the technology

start a whole new generation of computers.

Not to mention the bottom falling out of

Bingo.

Yeah.

Tom, you're not on the job anymore.

Hey, what's the matter with a couple of guys just

Come on, Timmons, I need to get cleared

What do you wanna... What do you wanna know?

Thank you, Carlos.

Okay, I need some information on that lab heist at

For some reason. I keep thinking that

I've heard of that place before.

Isn't that the same place that had

Fire? Yeah.

A while back. Arson thought it

Insurance companies didn't want to settle.

Yeah. Everyone workin' the case had to

Turned out to be this big litigation deal. We all

Was there a suspect?

Dooley, what are you doin' here?

Captain Thomas. I just brought some, uh, donuts.

No, I don't want a donut.

And this area is for detectives only.

Come on, Captain. He's still one of us.

Shut up, Timmons!

And you... You listen to me.

You are under investigation. Not me, not the department.

Which is why I don't want to see

anywhere near this place until your name is cleared.

Yes, sir. Come on, Jerry Lee.

It's obvious we're not welcome here anymore.

What the hell is it with you two?

Don't you understand basic police procedure?

The man is retired.

He is under investigation. He is not allowed

Cuesta, when's the last time

You keep this up, you're gonna be

Stay low, stay low.

Timmons, the next time you question my authority

you're gonna be taking a little vacation of your own.

And Cuesta, wipe that smirk off your face...

Okay, Jerry Lee, you sit here.

issuing parking violations.

And I'm sick of you eating your lunches in this

Smells like onion enchiladas. When I get back,

I want to see you guys doing some real work.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Hey, Jerry Lee. What are you doing here?

Oh, yeah, thanks for the warning.

Okay, come on, let's go. Easy, easy.

Dooley. Why are you still here?

I had to pee.

Why am I still talkin' to you?

Go pee somewhere else. Get outta here, Dooley.

Yes, sir.

What the dog sees in him I'll never know.

Hello. Hi. Come on.

Oh, this is it here.

This is it.

All right.

You guys know Billy Cochran? Billy Cochran.

Excuse me. Do you know where

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Thank you, thank you, thank...

No, never mind.

Jerry Lee? Hey, baby.

Hi. Hi.

Come on, Daddy. No, I'm not your daddy.

Thank you, though. Jerry Lee!

Do you know a Billy Cochran?

Billy Cochran? Who?

Billy Cochran. Yeah.

Okay, Billy Cochran.

Do you know where Billy Cochran is?

Where? Where... Where could I find him?

Right over there. There?

Yeah, baby.

I gotta go.

I'm gonna be right back. Okay.

If you see a dog, point him this way.

What? Jerry Lee, what...

What? Get in here with me!

What are you doin' with that on your head?

Come on, come here, let me get it.

What is this, you a party animal now?

Can't take you anywhere, Mr. Popular.

All right, come on, we got work to do.

Hey. Are you, uh, Billy Cochran?

Cop! Shit!

Go ahead. Go get him.

Hey! Hey, slow down!

I'm not a cop!

Yeah? What do you want?

I just have some questions.

Some other time, perhaps.

I'm throwin' a party.

Party? I can't party.

Okay, good boy. Be a good boy.

Okay. You want the drugs?

Here you go.

I'm losin' my patience.

Losin' my breath. This way!

All right, this is your last warning.

Yeah, whatever, grandpa!

Now I'm pissed.

Ahhh!

Hell of a shot.

I got... I got keys.

Cigarettes.

Parking ticket. That's all I got.

That's all I got.

Get away from me!

Ahhh!

Thirsty?

Hey! Hey, what are you, crazy, man?

Okay, I'll talk, all right!

I'll talk! Whatever you want.

Just don't drop me, all right?

Why were you a suspect in the A.I. Microlabs fire?

It was a setup, all right?

They knew I had a record.

Oh, come on. Like a thousand other guys

Okay, okay, okay. I was approached by a guy.

Guy? What kind?

I don't know what kind of guy, okay?

It was... It was a good-looking guy.

Uh, he wore fancy clothes.

Pretty guy, good-looking guy.

Frankie the Fence made the connect.

You know Frankie the Fence?

Who are you lookin' for, Frankie or the guy?

Guy. The guy, wise guy.

Okay. The name!

I don't know. It was like a year ago.

You buy that, Jerry Lee?

You buy these? Bad fashion statement.

Oh! Oh, I lost my grip,

Oh, my God.

The guy! The guy! Give me the name!

Okay, I think it was Shyer, or I mean,

I can't remember exactly.

First name. Charles Thyer!

Yeah, that's it.

You talk to him lately?

Never. He got somebody else

You lyin' to me? I swear.

Are you sure? I swear.

Ahhh!

What, did I hurt you? Huh?

No.

Are you sure? You got a nipple ring?

You don't have a nipple ring, do you?

No. Oh, good.

Where are you goin', man? You can't just leave me here.

That's for callin' me grandpa.

Look at that.

Search results, no match.

No Charles Thyer.

I don't get it. I mean, I don't think

I mean, the kid was scared to death.

Half if it's mine. Half.

Which one you want?

Attaboy.

Well, I gotta tell you,

whoever we're lookin' for, he's gonna come for this.

So we better hide it in a good place.

Hey, how about the little locket?

The one the girls gave you. Come on.

Hard to believe a little thing like this

can crash a billion-dollar

Okay, now it's safe. You don't let

No.

No.

No! Okay, I get the point!

Charles Thyer doesn't exist on this planet!

All right, calm down. Cool it, cool it.

Retired people don't get crotchety like this.

We're just gonna move onto something else.

The Kevin Wingate file, okay?

Can you accept that, you stupid machine?

Yes!

Born Allentown, Pennsylvania.

Technical school. Employed by Pittsburgh

Vietnam?

What? Hello, Detective.

Hi. It's, uh, Catherine Coleman.

I didn't wake you, did I?

No, no. Hi, Catherine. No, not at all.

fightin' with my computer.

How's Molly?

Well, it's, she's doin' okay.

She seems, uh, a little different

I have this feeling that it worked.

Really?

Yeah. I mean, I don't know,

But, I'm sort of keyed into her moods, you know.

I mean, I know that sounds kind of silly, but...

No, no, no. No, I know exactly what

I mean, Jerry Lee, you know,

when he's happy or he's sad or

Yeah, they're kind of like kids, aren't they?

Yeah, kind of.

I mean, you know, Jerry Lee's my partner,

He's more, you know.

He's special.

Well, I thought you guys were going on a road trip.

Oh, yeah. No, we are.

I just have to, uh, wrap up this huge P.I. case

Wow. So you're an actual private eye,

Well, I... I mean, kinda.

I love those old movies.

Yeah, me too.

Hey, have you ever seen The Thin Man?

I mean, that's one of my all-time favorite

And he had a dog.

And he's very thin.

Yeah, he was.

Listen, uh, Catherine,

I was thinkin' that maybe, you know, you, me,

Catherine, can you hold one second?

Sure. Thank you.

Yeah, Dooley.

Detective, it's Laura Fields.

Laura?

This is really embarrassing.

Okay. Well, that's all done.

Thank you very much, Detective.

You're welcome.

You know what? It's just a little

but you want to have it fixed

You don't want to drive around

Um, it's probably not the right time to ask,

but have you had any luck finding Kevin?

Well, let me ask you somethin'.

How long did you know Kevin before you decided

About a year.

Did he ever talk to you about what he did?

Uh, investments. Technology stocks.

Some real estate.

Well, Laura,

I don't want to sound like a pessimist,

but you're going to have to consider the possibility

You think something's happened to him.

No. Just the opposite.

I'm not sure he wants to be found.

Right.

He was looking for a way out.

Well, your fiance wasn't exactly

Who's this?

Well, according to the U.S. government,

What is this, some kind of a joke?

No, it's not a joke. The Social Security number

you gave me belongs to this man

and he died in 1995.

What?

It's not Kevin. Kevin,

whoever he is, I mean, why would he do this to me?

I don't know. I mean,

I don't know. I have no idea.

Here, let me help you with that.

I've managed this long on my own.

I'm sorry. And thank you

If you'll just send me the bill

Look, you hired me to find your fiance.

But you just said... He's not

That doesn't mean the case is closed.

I guess when you set your mind to something,

you don't really give up, do you, Detective?

Well, nobody's perfect.

Come on.

Take care.

I'll call you. Okay.

Okay, Jerry Lee, this morning

Because, you know what?

There aren't many people in this world that I trust.

But you are one of the people.

So, since we don't belong to the police

we can't just call dispatch for backup, right?

So you and I are gonna have a little training session

and we're gonna learn how to cover each other's back.

Okay, Jerry Lee, here's the cell phone,

Cell phone's down on the ground,

I got the pencils, I'm gonna throw 'em.

Stay right there. Stay right there.

When you hear a bang, you go get 'em.

Bang, bang! That's it! That's it!

Attaboy! Bring it here, bring it here!

No, the phone. Pencil to the phone.

Like this. Like this. Like this.

Like this, see? No, no, no,

Bang! Go get it!

Attaboy! Any pencil.

Get the pencil!

Bring it to the phone. The phone.

Pencil into the phone.

You're gettin' it.

The phone, the phone, the phone.

No, no, we're not playin'.

You're not helping me. You're not working

Jerry... No, no, no,

it's a phone.

Here. Jerry! Jerry, give me that pencil.

That's it, that's it. See?

Phone. Here.

Now, I have heard that certain individuals

have difficulty adjusting to life

but, this, takes the cake.

Hi, Petey.

I'm just trying to train Jerry Lee here on

Well, I don't think he has figured that out yet.

Look, it's still a work in progress.

Okay, buddy, here, go get it!

Go get that pencil!

I got your message. What's up?

Hey, Petey, thanks for comin'.

I think I know who torched the place.

Are you serious? Yeah.

Don't tell me.

'Cause if you tell me, I'm gonna have to

Yeah, but if I can find him,

I think he can lead me to the guy

What is this, the misery loves

Do you want me off the job now too?

Come on, Petey! This is your chance

Save me the sales pitch. All right, what ya got?

Thyer. A name. Thyer. Charles Thyer.

Thyer. Well, if you think

what makes you think he torched the place

Well, you told me that the Microlabs

changed insurance companies after the fire, right?

Well, insurance companies need to approve blueprints

and alarms before they can sign a new policy.

So, you think he took a look at the plans?

Petey, with all that security,

he knew his way around pretty damn good.

All right, I'll check this guy out.

Thanks, Petey. But, listen,

this is the last time... What? What?

You are not a cop anymore.

Not a cop. Can't even spell it.

Thanks, Petey. Good luck with

Oh, you'll know if it works.

I programmed your number into the cell phone.

You know, Dooley, sometimes I wonder about you.

Most of the time I wonder about you.

Me, too, Petey. Me, too.

What? Not all the pencils! One pencil. Just one pencil.

What are we gonna do? You know what?

I think I have a better shot at teaching you

So?

Are you certain he was a cop?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this guy was a cop.

I mean, you know, this guy had, he had

He had a police issue nine millimeter.

He had a big-ass German Shepherd,

Yeah, he was a cop.

And you said nothin' that would

Nothin' at all, man. I mean, I played

You know me. I'm a loyal guy, right?

Yeah. Right?

Relax, Billy. Yeah?

It's all right, man. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. All right.

I swear I didn't say anything.

It's cool.

Okay. Yeah.

Okay, 'cause, you know, if you're good with that,

I can just, you know...

Hey, hey, don't worry about it, okay?

Get outta here.

All right. Yeah.

Okay. Okay.

Loyalty's everything to me too, Billy.

Here we go, my friend.

Jerry Lee?

What's the matter?

Seek.

Okay, boy. Come on.

Seek.

What the hell happened here, Jerry?

Freeze! Oh, my God!

Out! Out!

It's me.

Laura, what are you doing here?

Kevin was at my house.

Who? Kevin!

Whoever he is,

whatever his name is. He was there,

And he knows that I've been looking for him.

He knows all about you, too.

I tried to confront him about all the lies,

but he just... He went...

The guy's out of his mind.

I mean, he started saying things to me.

Really, really horrible things.

And then he threatened...

He threatened to hurt me, and I didn't know what to do,

so I just got in the car...

...and I tried to call you, but...

...there was no answer, and I just got scared.

All right, come on in here.

Take it easy, honey, okay?

Take it easy. Here, sit down, sit down.

There you go, there you go.

Here, let me get somethin' for you.

Here, here, here, here. Take this here.

I'm sorry. Don't be sorry.

Don't be sorry. You all right?

No, I'm sorry.

No, no, that's okay, really.

No, I'm sorry. I keep doing this

Oh, don't worry about the shirt.

Listen, uh, does he have a key to your place?

Yes, of course he does.

Well, you can't go home.

You should find a hotel.

I can't. I've got Lana.

Who?

My dog. I can't keep her

Well, why don't you just stay here?

I'm not sure that's such a good idea.

Oh, this mess, I can clean up

What happened in here?

I don't know.

I don't think I can impose.

No, Laura, it's not an imposition,

Uh, I'll just straighten up

Take me a few minutes, that's all.

And then, uh, I'll make up the couch here,

and, uh, you can sleep here.

In the morning, find a locksmith

and change the locks on your place.

You sure you don't mind?

Oh, no, no, no, no. Not at all.

I'm not so sure Jerry Lee thinks

He'll be fine.

Okay. I'll go get her.

Go get that dog. You don't want

I'll be right back. Okay.

Come here.

You see those legs? Huh?

Now, listen to me.

I don't care what kind of rat dog she's got.

I want you to be kind, friendly,

Otherwise, I'm gonna lock you in the bathroom.

We're back.

You happy now? Come on in.

Well, thanks for helpin' clean the place.

Oh, it's the least I could do.

Why someone would do something like this!

Well, they were lookin' for something.

Did they find it?

It wasn't here.

Well, well, well, well.

Look at those two. I think we should give 'em

You think?

I don't know.

Yeah.

Be gentle.

This is the bathroom. Kitchen, of course.

This is my room. Sheets are always

The living room. The door's locked,

so you should feel very comfortable and safe.

And you're all set here, so, breakfast and coffee

Okay. Thank you. You're welcome.

Oh, uh, I didn't plan on this,

so I don't actually have anything,

you know, to sleep in.

That's fine.

Would... Would you... Could I borrow

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Uh, a shirt. I'll get a shirt.

I mean, Jerry Lee and I, you know, we don't

so we don't have any around.

This is pretty nice, huh?

Perfect. Yeah,

Thanks. You're welcome.

You'd like to change, wouldn't you? Yes.

I'd like to step out while you do that.

Well, it looks great on you.

Yeah.

Is there anything else I can get you

I mean, uh,

you hit the sack?

A glass of water would be nice.

Agua. Minerea.

Water on the way.

Thank you.

That enough? Yeah. That's great.

Well, Laura, is there anything

You know, a little nightcap?

Floss?

Uh, you wouldn't happen to have any

Yes. Yes, I have raisins.

Raisins.

Yeah, I got raisins.

I got raisins.

Raisins are really good.

Mmm, here you go.

Mmm, great.

Thank you. I love raisins.

Oh, I love raisins too. They're so good.

Well, they're actually grapes, you know.

Mmm-hmm.

Uh, vineyards use grapes for wine,

and the grapes that they don't use,

So we're actually eating Merlot.

Or we're eating shitty grapes or somethin'.

I don't know.

They're very, uh, moist.

Mmm-hmm.

And tender.

And tender.

And low in cholesterol.

Wait.

I'm sorry. What?

I just have to ask you something.

I got some. They're in the bedroom.

They're a little old, but the expiration date,

you know, it says they're fine.

No, no, no. Is this

the beginning of something special,

or is it just a one-night stand?

I think maybe we're getting ahead of ourselves here.

Movin' on too fast.

Okay.

Maybe we should, uh, talk about it

Yeah.

Okay.

Good night.

Good night.

Dooley? Yes?

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

Son of a bitch.

Looking for something?

Oh, you scared me to death. Yeah, I'm looking for a pen.

I wanted to leave you a note.

There's one right there on the desk behind you.

Duh.

How about breakfast? I make a mean breakfast.

Oh, Dooley, I would love to,

I've got a crazy day at work and I still

Oh, I can do that for you.

I'm gonna walk Jerry Lee anyway.

I'm takin' him to the dog park.

One of the benefits of retirement.

Oh, it's not a good idea.

Is this about last night?

Don't worry about last night.

Bye-bye.

All right. I'll call you soon.

Stop your gloating. You know, I made a choice.

You're a dog.

Hey. Hey!

Who jacked my place, huh, while you're

Who jacked my house?

What the hell's goin' on, Dooley?

I'll tell ya' I can't stand

I've had it up to here.

This isn't an investigation.

It's an invasion of privacy!

I'll see him as soon as I'm done

They can wait.

The Captain wants you in his office now.

Now?

Come on, Petey, what's wrong?

Get in the car.

Come on, Jerry Lee. We're goin' downtown.

Breathe.

Captain, what's so important I need an escort?

Sit down, Dooley, and shut up.

We found a body in the reservoir this morning.

Billy Cochran. Is there anything

about your relationship to the deceased?

What am I, a suspect again?

You tell me.

Somebody with your description

gets into a gunfight with him in his loft.

And I know for a fact you were in my office

looking him up on my computer.

Captain, I did not kill Billy Cochran.

Then what the hell are you up to?

This came from the D.O.J. this morning.

Here's the guy you asked about,

This is Nicolas Burrows.

And this is Kevin Wingate.

Burrows and Wingate are aliases

According to the Feds, he's some kind of

industrial terrorist with a penchant

They think he's the one who jacked the lab.

There were four microchips stolen.

They were prototypes. But one is an alpha chip.

Without it, the other microchips

I know that.

Where's Thyer?

Uh, nobody knows. They almost

but both times he got away.

They think he might have someone on the inside.

Well, Cochran gave up Thyer,

Cochran's dead, my house has been ransacked.

You think Thyer's behind all this?

Captain, I am sure of it.

Is there anybody else out there who can

Maybe. Frankie the Fence.

All right. Find Frankie.

No, Captain, you can't do that.

He finds out about it, Thyer will be gone.

We'll never be able to get him.

You're not a cop anymore, Dooley.

No, Captain, you have to understand

Jerry Lee and I have been workin' on him.

We know what he's lookin' for.

but we need Frankie the Fence

And what am I supposed to do?

Leave Frankie the Fence alone.

Give me 24 hours, all right? You'll get your killer,

the Feds will get their thief, and I'll

and you'll never see me again.

Twenty-four hours, that's all.

Not one minute more, Dooley.

Yes, sir.

Well, if it isn't the former

Well, hello, Frankie. How's the fagioli?

Gives me indigestion, just like you.

You just hurt my feelings.

Does that mean you're not going to

You wanna talk, you get a warrant.

Oh, I forgot, you can't. You're not a cop anymore.

In that case, get lost.

Okay. I'll go.

Sorry to bother you.

Know you're eating. Enjoy your meal.

Wait, Dooley!

What?

Tell him to let go of my sports.

You want me to join you?

Why, thank you, very much, Frankie.

Don't mind if I do.

Beans look good.

Hey, I understand you're movin' some

I don't know what you're talkin'...

Well, yeah, business has been good.

Well, I'm glad to hear that Frankie,

because I'm lookin' for a vendor.

You're a cop. Not anymore.

They took my pension away.

This is for my personal growth.

Oh, no way. I got a strict

In your case, I'm willin' to make

Well, thank you, Frankie.

What are you sellin'?

A microchip. You heard of it?

Mmm. Jerry Lee.

You know what I'm talking about?

Wouldn't happen to be a prototype,

You tell your buyer to bring the other three,

and let's see if they match.

What's your price?

Two million. No, that's,

All right. Well, I want him there

Midnight tonight at, uh, the foundry?

Good. Come on, Jer.

Uh, no dog.

No dog, no deal.

Oh. My client's comin' alone.

Come on. Fair is fair.

All right, dog will stay in the car,

in person with the cash.

All right. Here, keep the bread.

I'm on that protein thing now.

Yeah, right. Come on, Jerry.

Hi, you've reached Kevin and Laura,

please leave us a message.

Yes, Laura. Look, I've been

Will you please call me as soon

Okay, buddy, here we are.

Okay, give me that little chip.

Okay, here's the deal.

Here's the phone.

Phone there.

Pen, it's right here.

You hear anything, anything at all,

you call Petey with the pen.

Bang! That's it.

Bang! Good.

Okay, buddy, I'll be back.

Use the phone to call Petey,

That's far enough.

Well, if it isn't Charles Thyer.

Or should I say Kevin Wingate?

Does it matter? To some people.

The IRS, your fiancee.

Blockbuster Video.

Detective, put down your gun.

You got the money? No.

Give it to me. No.

The next one won't miss.

Take it easy, Chuckie. Hey!

Do not call me Chuckie.

I can understand that. You must've gotten in a

callin' you Chuckie. You know, the little doll

Chuckie, Chuckie, Chuckie.

Okay, easy.

Back up, back up.

Okay.

Do you have any idea what you put me through?

I didn't do it on purpose.

I didn't know Jerry Lee swallowed it.

You don't want to blow that thing off, Charles.

I mean, another bang!

And you don't know who's gonna hear that,

you know, you just keep poppin'

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

You need to shut up, right now.

You got the chip. What else do you want?

From you? Absolutely nothing.

He was going to kill you.

I had to stop him. Yeah.

Thank you.

You said you'd find him, and you did.

Uh-uh.

Laura...

You are good. Really good.

You know, I always wondered

how Thyer knew his way around that lab.

And when I finally figured out

that Charles Thyer and Kevin Wingate,

your fiance, were the same guy all I had to do

was take one look at your business card

and bang! I had my answer.

Insurance adjuster. Fire, blueprints.

Bingo.

You were in on it with him, huh?

But what happened? Why did you lose interest?

What went wrong?

What, you decided to split up after he

He always told me partners only get one mistake.

You're pretty smart, Dooley.

I guess that's your mistake.

You set me up. You put me onto Wingate

I hired you to find my fiance.

You did your job.

Thanks. Can I use you

LAPD Detectives. Hello?

Must be a prank. Some dog on the phone.

A dog?

Dooley was training Jerry Lee

to dial me on the cell phone

Give me the chip, Dooley.

You want it? Go get it.

You had to be a Boy Scout.

Get my gun!

Attaboy. Good boy. Come on. Where were you?

Damn it.

Laura? Laura, come on.

Jesus. Jerry!

Laura, you don't have to do this.

Jerry Lee!

Easy, easy.

Watch it. Watch it.

Jerry, you go that way.

Go on.

Good boy.

Come on, Laura. You don't have to do this.

You can turn yourself in, and we'll work out a deal.

A deal? No deal.

It's all over, Dooley.

Shit.

Why do I always pick the psychos?

Where you goin'?

The police are comin',

you're trapped. You got nowhere to hide.

Please, be reasonable here.

Screw you, Dooley.

Nice mouth.

Hold on!

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

I got you now, I got you.

Easy, easy.

Hold on!

I got you. Hang on.

Jesus.

Jerry Lee! Jerry Lee!

Hold on.

Don't let go!

Jerry Lee!

Jerry? Come on!

Hang on. Grab my pants.

That's it. Good boy.

Attaboy. That's it, pull. That's a boy.

Little more, that's it.

Pull. That's it.

Come on.

Dooley?

Come on. Dooley?

Here.

I'm all right. Don't worry

Who the hell is she?

This is Charles Thyer's partner.

Arrest her.

Guess I just picked the wrong guy.

That was your mistake, huh?

No. My mistake was goin' soft on you.

It happens.

Good work, Dooley. Your pension's in my office.

Congratulations. Thank you, sir.

So, Dooley, you're retired?

Yeah.

Well, the dog did it again.

Hey, Jerry Lee, did you hear that?

The pension check is waiting. We got our money.

We're goin' on a trip, buddy.

A big trip. Gimme five, gimme five.

And where were you?

Were you chasin' squirrels while I almost died?

Leave me hanging over here?

What, it wasn't challenging

You have to wait till I'm actually almost dead

before you come and save the day?

You know, you need more discipline as a dog.

And you know what I need?

I need a pizza. I am so hungry.

Hey, hey, Maurice.

Oh. So there you are. Finally.

Come on.

How are you, Mr. Studly? I'm just fine, thank you.

Okay, where are they?

Oh, just keep your knickers on.

They're right over there.

Okay, here we go.

So, I heard you went on a little trip.

Yeah, we went across country.

Right there. And the balance of payment.

Oh, great. Now, skip along.

Thank you, Maurice. You're welcome.

My God. Jerry Lee, you're a dad.

Come on.

Hi. Hi.

How are you? I'm good. How are you?

I'm, uh... I'm, uh... I'm great.

I promised you the pick of the litter.

So which one do you want? Can I have 'em all?

No, I promised two of them to my sister's kids.

Oh, my God, how do you pick 'em? Look at how

Jerry Lee, you are a stud.

Come on over here. Oh, look at that!

Oh, there's one. Oh, my God.

Look at you.

Ohh.

We'll take this one.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Jerry Lee, look at this one, look at this one.

Yeah, you can smell your own, can't you?

Aww, you're so beautiful.

Oh, thank you, thank you.

It's a puppy thing, I don't know.

So, what do we name him?

I don't know.

Umm. How about, uh, Nick? Nick's good.

Nick? I like Nick.

Or, you know something like Mike.

Nick. Peter. Peter, Paul, Mary...

We clearly can't get a name outta this.

Well, I mean, we're pretty good

How about you and I go into business?

You know, breeding dogs. I don't know.

Well, fifty-fifty split.

No, I... I don't think so, no.

Oh, wait a second.

What do you mean, wait a second?

Is this a negotiation ploy? Maybe.

You got him? Yes, I got him.

All right. You're about to

Dooley, will you relax?

So, wait, this negotiation thing

I don't want to do it unless... Oh, uh.. Uh,

There he goes. Jerry Lee, go get him!

Oh, Dooley, look how cute he is.