All language subtitles for Joanna Lumleys Postcards From My Travels - 01x06 - The African Nile.WebDL, JIVE.English.edit.Addic7ed.com

I've always travelled.

As an army brat, we were always
off on long, long journeys

around the globe, following the regiment.

Now I can choose the destinations,

and the most thrilling places
to me are off the beaten track.

- Wow.
- Wow.

Grand hotels are wonderful, but I
love living in huts and tents...

It's lovely.

.. however tough the terrain, and
getting back in touch with nature.

Yes, this is it.

I come from a time where travelling
wasn't about selfies and texting.

I must be the only person in the world

who still sends postcards.

And now I'm sending my favourite
moments from my travels to you,

no stamp required.

When you think about the river
Nile, you might think about camels,

and the pyramids and date palms and Egypt.

But the Nile is far,
far longer than that...

In fact, there are two sources
of the Nile, and the Nile,

to make it clearer, is
called the White Nile,

the bit that flows
through Egypt and so on.

The Blue Nile rises in Ethiopia

and pours out of Lake Tana and
joins the White Nile in Khartoum.

The waters don't even meet. You
can see them flowing side by side

until they become the mighty river itself.

We wouldn't shortchange you. We're
going to go to both sources.

But first I'm going to
take you to Ethiopia,

and so we started here in Lake Tana.

This is one of Africa's largest canyons,

a 250-mile-long gorge.

It's absolutely thrilling. We
are now flying over the deep,

deep gorges and at the
bottom of it the Blue Nile.

I've got to say it
doesn't look blue at all.

It looks like the kind of colour
of vanilla fudge or something.

This gorge has been hewn by
the colossal amount of water

that thunders through
here during the flood.

Then the water turns a dark blue,

giving the river its name, the Blue Nile.

At the top of the gorge is
Ethiopia's largest lake.

Sixty rivers pour down the
mountainsides into Lake Tana.

Nestled on the side of the
lake is the town of Bahir Dar.

The country is full of surprises.

Its culture is one of Africa's
oldest and most diverse,

with influences from the
ancient Egyptians and Arabia.

It has its own alphabet and language,

called Amharic, spoken nowhere else...

.. and it even has its own calendar

putting it seven years behind
the rest of the western world.

Their culinary treat is a sort of pancake.

Known as injera, this is
Ethiopia's national dish.

The only thing about these injera
pancakes is that they have...

they have a sort of look of tripe
about them, which can put you off,

particularly when they come
rolled up like wet flannels.

Like something you'd cleaned the
floor with and hadn't wrung out.

You don't eat them hot like we eat
pancakes hot -- you let them cool down.

Again, something which... what a shame.

I would have loved it hot with maybe
some thick cream and honey, but no!

You can eat Injera with pickles
and spices, or in my case,

I've gone for potato stew.

Thank you. ~

Injera has a sour, nutty taste, but
actually it melts in the mouth.

- It's actually delicious.
- Is it?

Write journals if things are important.

You think you are going
to remember and you don't.

It's only reading this that I realise
how much I'd forgotten about this.

There are more than 20 monasteries
on islands in Lake Tana.

Most were built in the Middle Ages

but remained hidden from the
outside world until the 1930s.

We attended an early morning service.
We had to get up terribly early.

I can't tell you how early we
rise on some of these shoots.

It's usually about 4:00. It was cold.

We wait until the 20-year-old
deacon brings me into the church.

- Deacon...
- Hello, Joanna.

- Thank you very much for meeting me.
- Welcome to here.

The monks do a shuffling
hokey-cokey dance,

each with a jingling hand piece.

Drums play, and they schlink-schlonk their
little tambourines, schlink-schlonk.

I buy one later for the
maestro, who's my husband.

Then they process around the
building and return their treasures.

They marched the treasures
around. They were very, very old,

extraordinary bits of armour
and banners and chainmail.

The holiest is in the centre,

containing a copy of the tablets of stone

bearing the Ten Commandments.

The originals in the Ark of the Covenant

are reputed to be in Axum,
which is in Ethiopia, hidden.

Utterly thrilling.

What we learnt there too was
that the patron saint of Ethiopia

is St George. Familiar?

You bet. They were all celebrating
and it was terribly important.

We'd been there, actually,
filming for about six hours,

and it was still only
just after breakfast,

but I took this label off my beer bottle

because we thought, "We will
toast St George in our own way."

I'm quite good at drinking beer on boats.

Go.

The source of the Blue Nile in Ethiopia

is a very, very holy place.

Some people say that river is
actually the river that flowed

out of the Garden of Eden. I
was so thrilled to be there.

So sacred are the waters at the source

that they are said to
have healing properties.

In the same way that
pilgrims go to Lourdes,

Ethiopians travel hundreds
of miles to this spot.

"Welcome to Gish Abay church,
the source of the Blue Nile."

So, I've arrived here.
They've drawn a mountain.

We're not exactly on a mountain,
but we're in an alpine pasture.

It says "the treatment of the
majority", which could be me,

and I think they do exorcisms here too.

Now, it's a tradition here
to buy a water container

and to go down and get a little bit
of Nile water and to be blessed.

Is this the church down there?

- *** - Yeah, and when I
go, I take my... my can.

Yes, if you wanted to fetch
holy water from the church,

I can help you bring it, if you want that?

Well, I do want that. Will
you come with me? Thank you.

My new friend introduces me
to the priest, Father Birhanu.

- Greetings.
- Hello, Father.

He first came here because he had malaria

and wanted to be cured by the waters.

~

~

~

Father Birhanu takes
me down to the source.

I'm told that here the Blue
Nile bubbles up through a spring.

- You say, "Ab."
- Ab.

- ~
- ~

Then as well as giving a blessing,

Father Birhanu unexpectedly
decides to baptise me.

Welete Tsadik means
'child of the righteous'.

- Well, that was absolutely lovely.
- Thank you.

I would like Father to write my
name, 'the Child of the Righteous'.

Will you write that for me in Amharic
so I can translate it into English?

~

Thank you.

That's me, and actually, I can use
that in London for any sort of...

If I'm arrested for any misdemeanours,

I'll just flash them this
fabulous yellow card.

I'll say, "Source of the
Nile, buddy, I'm through."

"On the journey back over the
water we all rinse our hands,

Kiff and Will their
heads in the holy water

which has been blessed for me, which I had
decanted into a plastic 1.5-litre bottle."

We all had to bless ourselves.

Before leaving Ethiopia,

I travel higher up into
the Semien Mountains.

I think this is the most extraordinary
country I've ever been to.

Nowhere gives any clue of what it's like.

I've been to Eritrea before, in the north,

I've been to Sudan in the west,
I've been to Kenya in the south,

and I've sailed up and down the Red Sea,

and none of them gives
the faintest inkling

of what happens here in Ethiopia.

It is absolutely staggering.

This is the engine room of the Nile.

This is where the great
flood is propelled from.

It goes for miles and miles and miles.

Next I've got postcards from
some fantastic beasts in Uganda,

and also from Rwanda, the longest
source of the river Nile.

Now we're in Uganda.

I've been on safari in Africa
before and I've camped out

and seen all kinds of fabulous animals,

but on this trip I learnt
more than ever before.

And what's more, I came
almost face to face with...

.. a shoebill.

For the first time on my journey
I'm going to get a chance

to watch the impressive
animals that live in the Nile.

My guide is Zimbabwean -- Andy Ault.

This is a fantastic
group of hippo down here.

There must be at least 60, maybe 70,

maybe even 80 of them.

'Hippopotamus' is ancient
Greek for 'river horse'.

Until very recently biologists
thought they had evolved

from the pig family, but
now research indicates

that their closest living
relatives are whales and porpoises.

How long can they stay under water?

Usually six to eight minutes
is about a good average.

If they're stressed or
frightened of something,

then they might stay under for up to 15.

- There's a calf, a
tiny little calf. - Yes.

If you watch, you might see the
ears come up and spin around.

It's just so incredibly
exciting sitting here with them

disappearing, and you can't really
tell where they're gonna pop up.

And suddenly this huge head the
size of a small car arrives,

ears going like that.

The swamp provides a haven for animals,

including Uganda's largest, rarest
and most extraordinary bird.

I never thought we'd see one of these.

(It's a shoebill.)

You'll just have to believe
me when I tell you this bird

is as tall as my shoulder and
lives for up to 50 years.

That's extraordinary. It's literally
like seeing a pterodactyl or something.

Just phenomenal. Strange,
almost animal face.

Doesn't really look like a bird at all.

Great soft, grey head. They're very rare.

Then we spot the creature that's
eluded us all the way along the Nile.

The beautiful, but quite
dangerous Nile crocodile.

- Andy.
- Yeah.

Why has it got its mouth wide open?

- Temperature regulation.
- Temperature regulation.

You'll see them quite often,
just particularly on a hot day,

they'll be lying there with their
mouth open to let the heat dissipate.

I'm following Tapan Rasheed...

.. to see a rhino called
Bella and her baby,

which is not even two months old.

I think I just saw her. Look.

Look at the size of her.

There's the baby.

Here at the Ziwa Rhino Sanctuary

50 rangers look after six adult
rhinos and their three calves.

Tapan and his team guard Bella and
her calf Augusto round the clock.

They're coming closer.

Go back, go, go back!

Augusto, go back. Bella, go
back. Go back. Please cool down.

Down. Down, please, down, down.

Don't think they're
carrying guns to protect us.

It's to protect the rhinos from poachers.

- You just calmed her
down just then? - Yeah.

Yes, she smell me and she hear my voice

and say, "Ah, we have to be cool."

Because their eyesight
is not very good, is it?

No. No. They don't see very far,

but are very, very active
to smell and to hear things.

You can see the ears,
that's like antennae.

- Listening and listening.
- Yeah, listening to people.

Here she comes. La, la, la.
Just walking very smoothly away.

OK, Tapan.

Go back. Augusto, go back. Go back.

Go. Go back. Cool down.

Cool. Cool. Bella, cool.

The reason I'm so scared
is that as a mother,

Bella's job is to kill us if
we get too close to her baby.

It seems awfully cowardly
but I just sort of...

Always anxious around big wild animals
because they are unpredictable.

Here comes Augusto again,
an extremely disobedient

- and very big baby...
- Go back. Go.

- .. with a mother who's massive.
- Go back, go.

It's the sweetest thing. He
seems to be eating the mud now.

Tapan just said nobody
has ever seen that before,

Bella wallowing like that,
nobody has seen that before.

An immense rhino fart!

Let's go.

And finally we got to Rwanda to
find the longest source of the Nile,

as discovered by Cam McLeay and
two of his New Zealand colleagues.

Cam is the most extraordinary
man, unbelievably tough,

smiling all the time, bright
as a button, optimistic.

From the edge of the Nyungwe Forest

we get ready to walk the final three miles

to the source.

I'm just going to change this,

what I've got in here, put on my boots.

Actually, I wasn't gonna show
you this now but I have to.

And it's my little man in a boat.

And I want to set him off on the Nile,

on a journey back, the
journey that I've I done.

There.

- Shall we go?
- Yeah.

I'm following in your footsteps.

- Oh, look, Cam.
- Wow.

- We're going up there?
- We're going up there.

I'm keeping a fair bit behind you

because I can see with
your manly slashings...

Yeah, give me a bit of space.

We still have our river
flowing beautifully here.

Do you know, this is the first
Nile water I've really drunk.

Everyone said, "Drink from the Nile."
It's completely pure, sweet water.

- Fantastic, isn't it?
- Wow.

I've got to tell you about
the last day of filming.

We'd been told that you just
had to walk through the jungle

to find the source of the Nile, and we
think, 'This is going to look a bit tame.'

Maybe it's a little path, walk for 200 yards
and go, 'There's the source of the Nile.'

It could not have been more different.

It was a primaeval jungle.
Everything had fallen down.

It was swamps. We were crawled over by
biting ants. I think they were soldier ants.

This is just in case you think

we're all living in a five-star
hotel and strolling down

and people putting something loose
round you, give you a cup of tea.

Not so! We were tough explorers.

Crikey.

Oh, no, oh, no.

Whoops. Hang on, I've got my boot stuck.

Are you back in there, are you ready?

Hang on a second. I'm not quite in.

- Can you, sir?
- I'll try to assist anyway.

Thank you very much.

That's one of the saddest things
you've ever had to do. Thanks, Cam.

OK, we're getting very close now

to the longest source of
the Nile, is just up here.

How extraordinary this is.

Look, perceptible water.

It's perceptible because
I'm perceiving it.

- Hang on a sec.
- I've got you on this end.

- There we are. Got my knee.
- Right.

So this is it, we've made it?

OK, OK. We've followed a false lead.

I lost the water down there,

so I was going to look for it again,

but I think we may lose it
completely just up here.

So let's go back, and we'll
try up the other one...

.. look for our perceptible flow.

Three-and-a-half hours later...

- Well done.
- Lovely.

- Here we are.
- Oh, my gosh.

- We can go no further.
- Look at that.

And look at the perceptible flow,

just like a little crocodile's nose.

Just a little drip.

To tell you the truth, I
never thought we'd get here.

My little guy in his little boat,

because I wanted him to do the journey

that we've done, but in
reverse, the proper way,

following the flow of the
water, which starts here,

a journey of 4,199 miles, the
longest river in the world.

I mean, I think rushing water
is going to come here later,

and I'm going to leave him here,
I'm going to settle him here.

So when the next rain falls,
he'll start his journey.

He's thinking, pensive, thinking
of his long journey ahead.

I think I'm just going to help him
over the first bit into that bit.

No, he says, "Don't
push me, I'm thinking."

OK, well, just a little bit, there,
you could almost feel he was floating.

You could almost feel he
was... You could almost.

No.

I think that I'm now stopping
the source of the Nile

by kneeling in it. There we are.

Oh, God, Cam, look what I've
done to your river. I'm so sorry.

Sorry, I'm so sorry.

People across the world, since the
programme's gone out, have said,

"How's the guy in the boat? Do you
think he got there? How far is he?

Do you think he's reached Khartoum?
Is he crossing Lake Nasser?

Maybe he's sailing up the
big Nile past the pyramids?"

And you go, "Guys, he was in a
little wooden boat this big.

When I put him down he was
pretty much stuck in the mud."

So the answer is "Probably not, darlings.

It's not really how it works."