Original subtitles

(soft dramatic music)

- [Narrator] Legend has it that during the Mayan golden age,

there was a great dwarf king.

The dwarf king was worshiped for his exceptional skills

of noble leadership and minuscule size.

Knowing he was to be sacrificed to the sun

and buried with his sacred jade,

the dwarf king ruled all of the land

and people with great honor.

One day an outsider separated

the dwarf king from his people.

The outsider then attacked the dwarf king.

The dwarf king was injured behind recovery.

On his deathbed, the dwarf king cast a curse

on his sacred jade.

If any outsider were to possess this jade without permission

from the sun and the Mayans,

they would then experience a terrible curse

of what it was like to be both big and small.

(dramatic music)

(light crackling) (dramatic music)

- And that you look like a sophisticated European woman.

(hand knocking)

- Open the door.

Open the door.

You making movie again.

This is not Bollywood.

Your career is over.

In the hotel industry as a professional cleaning engineer.

You were at the top.

Now you're at the bottom.

- I need this job.

- [Boss] Go home.

You're fired.

(bright music)

(upbeat music)

- (growls) Does this look believable?

- As a bloody tampon maybe.

- They asked for a beautiful zombie prom queen

that looks like she's been attacked by a pack of wolves.

- Mika, you're talented and beautiful.

You don't need gimmicks.

- Whoa.

Do you really need to be recording this?

I feel stressed.

- Babe, these are actually the behind the scenes decisions

that your future followers are gonna want to see.

You know what I think you should do?

Put on that cute gray suit of yours

and just walk in as the classy professional that you are.

- I don't know.

I hear the actors really get into this look the part thing.

- Please.

Actors only go in costume

when they don't have what it takes.

When they're not beasts.

Okay, trust me.

Do not go in costume.

- Really?

- [Jocelyn] Mm hm.

(upbeat music)

(phone beeping)

(upbeat music)

(actors growling)

- [Mika] Hey Joc.

- [Jocelyn] Hey there, babe.

So, how'd it go?

- Look, I just walked in.

Everyone else is in costume.

They rescheduled me.

I'm such a tool.

- [Jocelyn] Well how were you supposed to know.

- 'Cause they said it on the post.

Can you please rush over and bring me my outfit?

- [Jocelyn] Yeah.

I can't though.

I don't know if I can do in time.

- Where are you right now?

- [Jocelyn] I'm not for sure of the building.

Ow.

(actors growling) (bright music)

- It's the Worley Brothers building.

- Oh hey, babe.

You found me.

- You didn't wanna show up as yourself

and stand out on your own?

- Oh.

No, no, no.

This is just more behind the scenes footage.

So I had to blend in.

Everybody here is so basic.

- Well then you can go home now

because you're fired as my personal videographer.

- Jocelyn Reynolds.

(soft music)

- It's cool.

I got bills to pay.

Honey gotta hustle.

I'm ready.

- You in the suit, wait outside that door.

(bright music) (actors growling)

- I'm glad I'm not the only one.

- Ugh gosh, I know.

Don't you hate that they do producers meetings

right next to casting sessions?

- Okay, whenever you're ready.

(energetic music)

- Rawr.

- Rawr.

- Just.

(energetic music)

(camera shutter clicking)

I really wanna see you.

The essence of you in that your life.

I wanna feel your life in there.

Right there.

- Chubby white kids is my favorite kind of meal.

- Joints and like cartilage and you know like that.

- I'm really into eyeballs.

- Do it with perhaps a little movement.

Perhaps something I wanna see you move.

(camera shutter clicking) (woman growling)

You're moving it.

You're feeling it.

That's right.

(man growling)

- Oh, are you not here for the zombie movie?

- No, no.

Oh, definitely not.

But I am actually waiting for a call on my dream gig,

so I probably won't be any competition to you.

- But we're not competing.

I'm here for the zombie movie.

- Oh.

- Yeah, I'm an actor.

- Wow, well you look more like a producer to me.

- Yeah.

I had a whole zombie outfit, but then my friend took it.

I probably.

You know, they tell you to dress the part.

I think I should just go home.

- What?

Hey, come on.

No, no, sit down.

Come on, don't leave.

Don't go home.

Be an opportunist.

Get in there.

Be on the lookout for opportunities.

Only the strong survive.

It's just straight up Darwinism.

Here, I'm gonna share with you a little mantra

that I picked up on my extensive world travels.

I am a predator.

You are my prey.

I will eat you.

I am a predator.

You are my prey.

Say it with me.

I am a predator.

- I'm a predator.

- [Veronica] You are my prey.

- You are my prey.

- I am your prey.

I will eat you.

- I will eat you.

- Such a good mantra.

- Yeah.

- It's funny.

I was actually quite a lot like you.

Meek and mild and then on my seventh birthday,

I had this realization and I was like Veronica.

Veronica, this is all wrong.

The weak will not inherit the earth.

The weak get trampled while the strong make power plays.

Do you wanna be a lion or do you wanna be a gazelle

that gets its little vocal chords ripped out by the lion?

You choose.

Natural selection.

- Right.

(phone ringing)

- One second.

Tell me that I got it.

Okay, all right.

So great, we're 100% then?

All right, send over the paperwork and I'll sign it tonight.

I just got the job of a lifetime

and you know how I did that?

I am a predator.

I am a predator.

I am a predator.

- That's awesome.

- It's great.

I like you.

I'd love for you to be a PA on one of my projects.

Do you have a number?

- Yeah.

- Great.

- [Mika] Number's up top.

- Okay.

All right, well you little gazelle, get out there.

- Awesome, thanks.

(bright music)

- Hey.

How are you?

- Hi.

- Hi, are you ready?

- Oh, yeah.

- Fantastic, come on.

- Thank you for meeting with us.

Have a seat.

Don't mind them.

They're just the documentary filmmakers.

- Yes, we've reviewed your resume.

- Very impressive.

- Yes, your resume.

It's almost like you've lived your entire life-

- Preparing for this project.

- Oh, you mean because of my training.

I've taken a lot of classes.

- Oh, look at that.

You have to Guatemala transit all laid out.

- That's Veronica's folder.

- Look at that.

The Mayan virgins.

- [Man] We'll know if they're real.

- The Cenote location.

This is great.

It is great.

- She's got all kinds of stuff in there.

- Yes, yes.

- Are you ready for me to do my lines?

- I'm sure you heard of the legend of the dwarf king?

- About the city of Uxmal.

- We're making it into a movie.

- What, what is it?

- [James] It has to be realistic.

- Which is why we're sending somebody to Guatemala-

- To track down all the things that'll make it authentic.

- I have a valid passport.

- Your strong ties to Guatemala and gemologist.

That real piece of enchanted jade is very, very important.

- Yes, yes, yes.

That jade.

That jade is the centerpiece for controversial publicity.

- Veronica.

- Oh.

Yeah.

Yeah, Veronica.

Uh huh.

B Ron (laughs).

Yeah.

Yeah.

Jade and a geologist.

- Well, that and all the other producing duties.

Clint's trying to make the same movie.

- Yup, we're in a race with Mr. Eastwood.

- But isn't Guatemala a little dangerous for a woman?

- Veronica.

- Guatemala's only dangerous if you're not a world traveler

and you're an L.A. city slicker.

- Ha.

- You have not heard about the other half of my team.

I'll be working with the Ben Harms.

Gem hunter, bush pilot, adventure seeker extraordinaire.

(upbeat music)

He discovered a prince's tomb under a pyramid in 'O2.

- Oh, I'm familiar with him

and not for exploring a prince's tomb.

Isn't he the one who-

- That was years ago.

The media totally hyped that up.

- I don't know how anybody can be right in the head

after something like that.

- Well okay, you both know something I don't,

so fill me in here.

- Remember that 16 minutes report?

(clock ticking)

- Tonight we bring you a story

that's not news in the traditional sense.

The Ungapigme tribe has inhabited the jungles of Zambia

since early man first started to walk upright.

Their customs and traditions have remained unchanged

for a millennia as they've had almost zero interaction

with modern society which is why

when the explorers Ben Harms and his partner Rusty James

crashed their plane near their village,

the spectacle sparked an idea.

If the Ungas could mate the new creature

with one of their water buffalo,

could they then produce a flying buffalo.

Unfortunately for Mr. Harms and Mr. James,

the Unga people decided to try and do just that.

- Our plane was crashing so we parachuted out

and we end up stuck up in some trees.

If only I would've known what I was about to witness,

I would've stayed in that tree.

It's like the wildebeest (beeps)

just swallowed up Rusty's head.

- What did you do?

- Rusty gave me the signal.

And I ran before that (beeps) could get me.

I stole a canoe and I paddled home.

I'll never get in an airplane again.

Never.

I'll never get in an airplane again.

Never.

Never will I ever get into an airplane again ever.

Never.

No, never.

- He's the most mentally tough, cool,

under pressure man that I know.

- Never.

Never.

- Two of us together, we can't fail.

- Didn't he have a mental breakdown?

- I can guarantee you that we'll come through on this.

If we don't, you'll pay us nothing.

(bright music)

I'll get the job done for you.

I'm a predator.

- Well, I'm convinced.

- Likewise.

You're hired.

- [Joseph] Yeah.

- [James] Are you ready for an adventure of a lifetime?

(bright music)

She had such sincerity.

- With this team on board,

I don't know how this can possibly go wrong.

- And who knows, we are looking for a VP here

at the Worley Brothers.

- I mean, I think she'll be able to produce a movie,

but this movie, no.

The Worley Brothers, they need experience and dedication.

All of which I have.

(phone ringing)

- [Veronica] This is Veronica Lake.

I'm out of the country on business.

If this is social, expect delay.

(phone beeping)

- Hi, Veronica.

This is Mika.

You just met me at the Worley Brothers office.

I wanted to thank you for your advice and I took it

for about being a lion opportunist.

Something really cool happened while I was there,

but I need to talk to you about it right away,

so if you could please call me back.

(bright music)

- [Ben] Woo hoo.

Woo.

Yeah.

Woo.

Woo hoo.

- [Mika] Dad.

- Hey hon, hand me a plunger.

Hey.

Not today you little turd.

Whew.

Almost lost that one.

What is it you wanted to tell me?

- Today when I showed up for my audition-

- You're gonna be the next undead prom queen?

- No, no, but I booked a job as producer.

The Worley brothers are shooting a movie

about an old Mayan dwarf king

and they want me to go to Guatemala.

I'm gonna find them jades, nodes,

and a bunch of other adventure stuff.

- Well that sounds dangerous.

- Yeah.

I told them you would go, too.

- What?

No.

I'm not getting in an airplane

and I'm not going to Guatemala.

- But you have to.

They won't hire me if you don't

and besides that, you need it.

The most exciting thing you've done

in over a year is plunging that toilet.

- That's not true.

I do a lot of exciting things around here.

I'm brushing up on my research.

I'm analyzing my rocks.

- It's from the L.A. River.

It's concrete, Dad.

- Right, but I'm analyzing 'em.

And I've got my insect collection here

that I'm categorizing.

I've got my African statue that I wouldn't leave.

And let's not forget I'm writing my memoirs.

And my album is coming along quite nicely.

(bright music)

- Dad.

When was the last time you wrote or whittled or researched

or even went to the store to get that dog food?

- That's not the point.

I'm comfortable here.

(soft music)

- Look, you've been hermiting in this house for years

and I get it, but don't you miss

being Ben Harms the Explorer?

(soft music)

- I'm very happy.

Now Mika, I've gotta get back to my stuff.

(toilet rattling)

Holy shit.

- Ooh, ooh.

- Uh.

Uh.

(bright music)

What all would we have to do?

- Goodnight.

Where's the package?

- The package is gonna be ready any minute now.

Any minute.

- Excellent. - Oh good.

We're off to our dinner meeting.

We probably won't be back so lock it up after seven.

- Okay.

- Everyone else is gone.

Josh is still here.

- Okay, fantastic.

- Ciao. - Ciao.

- [Marvin] You guys look fabulous by the way.

- Thank you.

(phone dialing)

(phone ringing) (man crying)

- Are you serious?

I'm sorry.

You know what?

Let me call you right back.

Okay.

I'm just I'm sorry, I have to go.

I'll call you right back, bye.

- [Josh] Oh.

Oh.

(bright music)

Oh.

- Josh.

- [Josh] Oh.

- Oh my God.

Are you okay?

Did you order take out from the Ivy again?

- No.

I heard VP.

They said Veronica might be a good candidate for VP.

All I've ever wanted was VP.

- Honey bear.

Honey.

Blueberry.

I met someone through Manson

and I want the two of you to meet

because I think that you guys would just hit it off.

Okay?

It's Clint's nephew.

Clint and his dad didn't really get along.

Anyway, he works with Clint's office.

They're on a bit of a time crunch

and I'm not saying anything.

You catch my draft.

And I wanna stay out of it,

but if you need anything, you take my hand.

(soft music)

- Okay.

I'm all right.

Thanks, bro.

- Oh yeah.

(soft music)

(energetic music)

(animal growling) (energetic music)

(energetic music)

- I just got an email from Veronica.

- [Joseph] Yeah, what's the news?

- She said Ben is in the best shape of his life

and he's ready and willing to go.

(soft music)

- Marvin.

I want that hand.

- Maybe.

We'll get drinks at eight.

Before I pass you off to Andy,

I want juicy insider information.

- Okay.

I think I know just the guy.

- Okay.

(upbeat music)

- Hector.

- [Hector] Hey.

(upbeat music)

- Pull the cord.

You remember.

There you go.

Good boy.

So what kind of fertilizer are you using

on that bicycle of yours?

- Only the best.

- I was thinking about how I could help you with Amanda.

Now, if you want to be in my family,

you want to have my blessing,

you're gonna have to prove your loyalty.

- Of course.

I love your sister.

I've been wanting to take her out forever.

- Okay.

Anyone can just love my sister.

My sister.

She has the beauty of a runway model.

The intelligence of a tech mogul.

Heart of a Gandhi.

(lawn mower rattling) (soft music)

(soft music)

(upbeat music)

(soft music)

(bright music)

- All this I know, which is why I'm willing

to do anything you want.

- Good.

I knew you had the stuff when I first saw you.

I need you to follow this blonde girl to Guatemala.

Now this is a matter of national security.

We think she's involved with a terrorist cell.

She might be recruiting girls for ISIS.

- I thought you worked in film.

- Yes.

Hector.

Film.

(bright music)

- Oh.

I got it.

- And if you could figure out how

to get some Iowasca back in the country that would be.

Plane tickets.

(bright music)

- Okay.

Glad to be of service.

Well, I really thought he wanted

to meet more about like my landscape skills.

Maybe in building a bigger waterfall.

(bright music)

- Have you started going everything

on that list for Veronica?

- Don't worry about booking the ticket or hotel.

She'll handle it.

- I'm on it.

- All right.

Ciao.

(bright music)

- Here you go.

All right, let me know if there's anything else

that I can do for you.

If you wanna come over later tonight.

Okay?

♪ Take the train to California ♪

Hey.

Did you make that phone call yet?

- Why, should I?

- Of course.

You wanna move up, don't you?

It's the only way you can do that.

- Don't you want it?

I mean.

- Oh, no, no, no.

Don't you worry about me, honey.

I got plenty in the works for myself.

I'm just super happy that I can make that connect for you.

- Okay.

Well thanks, Marvin, for being a friend

and for looking out for me.

What does this guy know about me?

- Well, he knows your name is Josh.

He knows that you're a really good friend

and he knows that you have an awesome connect.

- Okay, let's keep it that way.

I don't want him to know too much about me

'cause I don't wanna lose my job here.

- Yeah, yeah.

Baby, these lips.

Sealed.

Who you know determines everything

and I pretty much know everybody.

(phone ringing) (bright music)

(phone ringing)

- Not during my massage meditation.

Hello.

- [Josh] Andy?

- [Andy] Yes, Andy Slimmick speaking.

Who's this?

- [Josh] Yes, I got your number from Marvin.

My name is Josh.

(bright music)

- Josh, yes.

Yeah.

Marvin is great.

Look, I don't know you,

but Marvin seems to think very highly of you.

I hold his opinion in high regard.

Hard, hard.

Harder.

Good, good.

If you wanna come in for a meeting tomorrow

around like let's say noon 30.

That would be great.

(bright music)

(soft music)

(speaking in foreign language)

(soft music)

- [Hector] Oh Amanda.

(soft music)

(phone ringing)

(bright music)

(upbeat music)

- So this is all gonna be confidential.

I'm gonna have him play me

and he's gonna secure the connection

that Marvin set me up with.

This way, you know, Marvin doesn't screw me.

And then when it's time to meet Clint, I'm gonna step in.

(bright music)

Reuben?

- Yes.

- You and I are never going to see one another.

This is a reality television show, okay.

It's one of those shows where the audience gets to vote.

Lots of hidden cameras.

- Wow.

- Now we're gonna communicate via this headset.

And like I said in my message,

the most convincing actor is going to win the lead role

in a brand new television series.

(upbeat music)

- Hey Mika.

Where are my grenades at?

- [Mika] In your suitcase and you don't need them.

- Okay, I'm ready.

Let's do this.

(upbeat music)

(toilet exploding)

(energetic music)

(bright music)

I put a call into my contact.

- [Mika] That's great.

Do you think it can help us take out the jade

and take over some of the production duties here?

It would be great to get started right away.

- Mika, relax.

I'll get everything you need.

And we'll be back on the other side of the border

before you know what's going on.

I guarantee it.

(speaking in foreign language)

- [Man] Okay (speaks in foreign language)

(bright music)

(speaking in foreign language)

(bright music)

- Okay.

Thank you very much.

- Gracias.

Bye.

(bright music)

- I see you.

- [Mika] Dad.

- Of course I brought her.

(bright music)

- [Announcer] Here's the Boxmasters with "I Got Glendale".

- I think we can take a cab to Bandelista

and then from there there's a train

that I got us tickets to that goes to Chiono.

(bright music)

♪ I got Glendale ♪

- Why don't you just go to the mall tomorrow, Mika?

Too scary out there.

I don't want to leave the room.

I just rather stay in the room.

- In order to get permission to use the jade,

we kinda need to leave this hotel room.

- I can get everything delivered.

They have apps for that.

They have everything.

I can get the Mayan priest.

I can get everything delivered.

- Come on.

You said that you've been here.

You've been here a bunch.

Please, can you please just look at a map?

Can you?

- Mika, you're too uptight.

That stress is really bad.

It's gonna kill you.

I'm gonna take a shower.

This is boring.

You need to enjoy yourself a little more.

This is really boring.

- [Mika] Dad.

There's a rerun of your show on.

- Well, hello there.

Welcome to the Ben Harms show.

This week, we're going to be

talking about the dwarf king's jade.

- Oh my gosh.

That's the jade.

- One thing I wanna say before-

- [Mika] You found the jade before?

- If you're going to mess with that,

you had better get permission.

You're a stag.

And then all of a sudden,

it starts getting smaller and smaller.

It's like they've taken a pencil

and stuck it into a pencil sharpener.

And then when they pull it out,

it's like a little stub

with a dangly eraser hanging off of it.

Hey Mika, you're not gonna believe this.

There's the dwarf king in here on the wall.

♪ Da da da da da ♪

- [James] Joseph, we have a call.

- Ah, it's exciting.

- Hi.

- Good afternoon, Veronica.

- [Joseph] Or is it evening there?

- It's evening.

Well, tomorrow we are flying to meet

with the priest at the highest order

and from there he will help us find everything else.

It looks like we are on the road to having fun together.

- Sounds perfect.

- Clint's still looking for his own explorer.

So one step ahead.

A man's got to know his limitations.

- Well.

So I probably won't have service or wifi out in the jungle

so I'll call you from the SAT phone with updates.

- [James] Perfect.

We look forward to it.

- Yes, be safe.

- Bye, Veronica.

- Bye, Veronica.

(bright music)

- Reuben copy.

Reuben.

(bright music)

Reuben, do you hear me?

- [Reuben] Yes.

- All right, I'm gonna coach you through this entire thing.

I've got visual confirmation.

We're gonna win this competition.

I hope he learned his freaking lines.

- [Reuben] What?

- Uh, just go in.

I got a script.

I can feed you lines, but remember this is improv.

So don't hesitate.

(bright music)

- Yeah.

Well.

Mom, I'm gonna get it to you.

- Andy?

- Very soon, Beyonce.

Yeah, well he should've put a ring on it and he did.

All right, okay.

Talk to you later, sweetums.

- Andy, I have got some intel for you.

- Oh, goodie.

All right.

And welcome.

- Well.

- Tell him about the dwarf king movie.

- The dwarf king movie

is officially going into pre-production.

- Yeah, that's good, you see.

When you told me you had intel,

then I was expecting information that I didn't already have.

- Oh, but there's more.

See, they've hired this really young,

wannabe producer named Veronica Lake.

She's gonna handle all of the field research in Guatemala

and all of the production stuff.

- Interesting.

Do you think this girl has the skills to get the job done?

- She talks a good game.

- Well then Joshua, now we've got some competition.

- Oh, but it gets even better.

You'll never guess who the other half of her team is.

Ben Harms.

- No.

- [Reuben] Yes.

- No.

- Ben the wildebeest Harms?

- Wildebeest.

- Are they trying to blow this gig?

- I don't know, but that's what's gonna happen

and I'm gonna keep you informed.

- Yeah.

Yeah, you are.

This is good.

Okay.

So if you're gonna wanna present this in front of Clint,

we're gonna have to put all this information

in an electric press kit form.

- Tell him you don't have enough for a press packet yet.

- Oh, I don't have enough for a press kit yet but.

- It's the only format that he'll watch it under.

He's very particular.

You understand, right?

- [Josh] Ask him what you would have to do.

- Yes.

Okay, so what would I have to do?

- Oh, we got a gal.

She's great.

She does all our stuff.

She's very good.

She might even give you a little discount.

Charge between a three and five and a half K.

Shouldn't be a problem, should it?

- What?

No, that is the most I have ever heard.

- That's the most I've ever heard.

- This is a very competitive business, Joshua.

- Close the deal.

- Yes.

Yes, of course.

I'll make it happen.

- Great.

Then we can move forward.

Hey, I'm gonna tell Clint what a good job you're doing.

We're gonna find you a new home here

at this production company.

Put it here.

(bright music)

- Dad.

Good morning.

Dad.

(bright music)

Dad.

(bright music) (man snoring)

Taxi.

(upbeat music)

Taxi.

(phone ringing)

(speaking in foreign language)

(upbeat music)

Taxi.

Taxi.

Hello, cab.

- Oh, no need to call a cab.

I have a rideshare coming up around the corner here.

- Oh, an international rideshare.

- Yeah, my wife and I just called.

You can catch a ride with us.

- Okay, that sounds like a greener option.

- Yeah, right this way.

My wife and I used to run a church over here.

- What a beautiful area.

- Yeah, it's a really nice place.

I've been living here about five years.

The city is really nice.

Met a lot of people from all over the world.

- Oh, you live here.

That's so great.

- Think the car's gonna pick us up right here.

- Where's your wife?

- She's gonna be on her way any minute.

- Cool.

- Yeah.

We got you now, you little bitch.

Good luck.

(dramatic music)

(soft music)

- Rusty.

(animal growling)

(soft music)

Mika.

You in the bathroom?

(soft music)

Mika.

(soft dramatic music)

(bright music)

(speaking in foreign language)

(bright music)

- I want tons of updates.

We need to know exactly what's happening

before the fricking wonder twins unite.

- No, no, no.

I have a spy on the ground.

He's giving me information 24 seven.

- Good, good, good.

Clint will like that.

Oh hey, one other thing.

I was just checking out your presence online.

There's a problem.

You don't have one.

I think if you want Clint to take you seriously,

you need to have a publicist.

- A publicist?

- Yes, everybody's doing it these days.

We have someone who takes care of all that stuff.

She's great for about-

- Ooh.

I don't know.

- What'd you say Josh?

You're not sure because I wanna know

if you wanna be a player in the game

or if you're just wasting my time.

- I want to be a player.

- Do you wanna be a player in the game, Josh?

- I wanna play.

I wanna play.

(soft music)

- Have you seen a little blonde?

(soft music)

Mika.

Oh, (speaks in foreign language).

(soft music)

(speaking in foreign language) (soft music)

- [Woman] I see your trouble.

(speaking in foreign language) (soft music)

- Excuse me.

You know how to get to Chiono?

Chiono?

- No, no, no, no.

(speaking in foreign language) (bright music)

- Oh geez.

(speaking in foreign language) (bright music)

(man gasping)

- [Woman] Help.

Help, help.

(soft dramatic music)

- You listen here, mister.

I am definitely reporting you to rideshare.

You can kiss your five star rating goodbye, buddy.

(soft dramatic music)

- So La Rubia.

You thought you could sneak into my country

and take what's mine?

- What?

Is this about the jade or the virgins?

- The jade.

You and el bruto thought you could

move my product in my country.

- Oh no, no, no, no.

Wait.

- Yes, yes.

You thought you could take over my cartel.

No one touches me.

No one has a chance to get to El Jade.

King Kong doesn't have a chance.

King Kong doesn't mess with El Jade.

Denzel.

Yes, son.

- Dad, sorry to interrupt your whole drug lord thing here,

but I can't get online.

Did you change the password again?

- No, it's on the fridge, son.

It's written on the fridge.

Go, go.

- No, no, it's not.

- I put it on there myself.

It's on a white piece of paper.

Please son, go.

- [Son] It's not there.

- There's a machine gun magnet

holding a white piece of paper

about two thirds of the way up.

- [Son] No, no, not there.

- Give me your pad.

I think I remember it.

- [Son] Great.

- Hurry.

Just a second.

- Thanks.

Gonna stream zombie run again now.

- Zombie run.

That is so violent, son.

Okay.

- Help.

- Here.

Okay, throw her in the crocodile pit.

- No, you can't.

- Son, how many times I gotta say this is daddy's job?

This is what I do for a living.

This is what pays for the wifi.

- This isn't la rubia.

- What?

- This is the girl of my dreams.

- What are you talking about?

- This is the girl of my dreams.

- What are you talking about, son?

- You can't kill who I am to marry.

♪ Makeup tutorial ♪

This one is inner zombie.

- Our inner zombie souls are meant to be together.

(soft music)

- Okay, son.

Boys.

(soft music)

The gringo lives.

But we celebrate because tonight my son is getting married.

- Sweet.

I'm gonna update my followers with bids of this

- I can't marry your kid.

- Yeah, you got to because if I can't kill you right now,

I gotta keep my eye on you forever.

Plus it's great news for me

'cause I was 95% sure he was gay (laughs).

Relax.

It's not like you're gonna have to put out tonight.

You are a woman, right?

Ah, close enough.

- There's actually still blood on it from when he died.

So cool.

I love talking to him all the time.

Whenever I get lonely or sad or dad's not around.

He's just, he's a great guy.

He's really cool.

But yeah, that's my room.

- Great room.

- On my site I've listed the best zombie movies of all time.

I don't know how to explain it, but since I was a kid

and I saw Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video,

I just I knew that's what I was meant to be.

I saw your video on the internet

and I knew we were meant to be together in life

and afterlife should there ever be a zombie apocalypse.

(soft music)

- Oh (laughs).

Bathroom.

Girl problems.

- Hello.

- He's always there?

(bright music)

So, you want my wedding day to be special, right?

Okay, I just have one request.

- Anything.

(soft music)

- I'm proud of you, son.

Whatever it is you do, just.

I think you're my son though we have nothing in common,

but you do look like the guy

that fixed the roof an awful lot.

Very small and kind of a monkey looking dude.

Very.

He and your mom went shopping together a lot.

(soft music)

(speaking in foreign language) (soft music)

(bright music)

It's okay.

She'll be here.

Or I'm gonna kill her.

And I actually mean that literally kill her.

Yeah.

(soft music)

That's what happened to your first mom when she disappeared.

Yeah.

- Makes sense.

- Yeah.

She's buried right over there.

Sad.

Sad day when that happened.

Sad day.

Messy, messy too.

She was a scrapper, yeah.

Yeah, it took.

Remember that when we killed his mom?

That was not an easy one.

You know, big lady.

Big, tough.

I mean, she gave as good as you got, believe me.

I got stab wounds here.

These guys.

Didn't you lose a nut?

Jesus.

(bright music)

- Hey, have you seen my kid?

- No.

No.

- Do you know where El Jade's hacienda's at?

- El Jade?

No good.

Hacienda, yes I know.

- Can you give me a ride there?

- Okay. - Okay.

- Hop in, I'll take you.

- Oh man, thank you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I appreciate that.

(bright music)

- The gringo arrested for drugs.

Get jail for life.

Send the money.

Your friend is in big trouble.

- I don't understand.

Josh.

You gotta get me out of here.

Josh.

- You want a chair, gringo?

- You gotta get me out of here.

- In Guatemala, we don't like ice.

- I'm not cut out for this, Josh.

(speaking in foreign language)

- Send the money.

Yes, we take credit card.

We take him wherever you want.

We are on the same team.

(speaking in foreign language) (bright music)

- Oh no.

(soft music)

Dad.

Dad.

Dad.

Oh, Dad.

Dad.

Oh, hi.

- Why you dressed like that for?

- No time to talk about it.

The Creole cartel is after me.

We gotta go.

We gotta go this way though.

Turn around.

(bright music)

Go, go, go.

(bright music)

(soft music)

- [Hector] Jesus.

(soft music)

Gotta be here somewhere.

(soft dramatic music)

- Honey, I got your bag here.

Pretty sure there's some clothes in it.

You need to get out of that wedding dress.

- [Reporter] Whoever is involved in this unrest.

It has come to our attention that an important ancient

and powerful jade carving was stolen.

The last time it was out of the control

of the generation of priests

was when a small contingent of Spanish and Ecuadorians.

(phone ringing)

- Tell me something that's gonna make my day.

- I have the jade and I'm sending it to you.

- That is what I wanted to hear (laughs).

- I want you to know I've been talking to the people here

and those police officers thought you're talking about ICE

as in immigration and customs enforcement.

I thought we're fighting the ISIS.

Tell me what's really going on.

- Okay now, Hector.

You said you sent the jade.

- Yes but.

- Hector, there's just one more thing

I want you to do for me.

- I thought about this.

I know what you're up to, but I like these Guatemalans.

They just keep the dwarf jade DNA in the cave.

It's a part of their heritage.

I'm not cut out to be a spy, Josh.

I'm not meant to be mentally.

- Okay, okay, okay.

Hector, breathe.

Breathe.

- I'm done.

I'm done with you and your orders.

- Hector, don't talk to me that way.

I haven't given you my blessing for my sister yet.

- Amanda wouldn't want you to do this to the Guatemalans.

(upbeat music)

(phone ringing)

- Oh God.

Okay.

You're interrupting my me time.

- [Josh] I just spoke to my man

and I knew I should call you right away.

- Continue.

- Let's just say that their production

is gonna go up in flames.

My guy broke into the tomb and stole the jade.

They're gonna think it was Ben and Veronica.

Any chance they have of shooting on location

is just going to fall apart.

- Oh, that is good news.

Oh stop.

Don't tickle.

Oh, hey.

Listen.

There's something else I wanted to talk to you about.

I may have just secured a major deal

with you here at Paso Bueno.

- Is it my position?

- As a matter of fact, it is.

I spoke directly to Clint.

Two, three, four.

And he wants to bring you in on the Mayan movie.

- Well, yes, definitely.

That's very nice of him.

- Yeah.

This means a backend deal with major potential

and the executive producer credential for half.

You want it to be a player son, didn't you?

- Yes.

I wanna be a player.

- So of course all we need

is the $50,000 retainer to secure this.

The bigger you pay in now, the bigger the payday later.

I'm really very surprised that he has done this.

He is.

He's very particular, you know.

- I'm gonna have to talk to my banker.

- What?

Yeah, okay.

Well, there is a timeline, you know?

Okay.

So the sooner, the better.

Just let me know when you have it.

- But I wanna talk to Clint myself.

I wanna tell him that I'm ready.

- Well, you know what, Joshua?

You've earned it.

I'm gonna have him call you.

Good job.

I truly (laughs).

Stop.

Don't tickle.

- Yeah.

Make my day.

Punk (laughs).

- [Crowd] Thief, thief, thief, thief,

thief, thief, thief, thief, thief.

Worley brothers suck.

Free the jade.

Worley brothers suck.

Free the jade.

Worley brothers suck.

- [Reporter] Hot off the press.

- [Crowd] Worley brothers suck.

Free the jade.

Worley brothers suck.

Free the jade.

Worley brothers suck.

Free the jade.

- They're saying someone broke into King Dwarf's tomb.

- And stole the enchanted jade.

- And they think it was you. - And they think it was you.

- What?

They think we stole the jade?

Well you can't possibly think

that we would do something like that.

- It doesn't matter what we believe.

- They filed charges against you

with the department of antiquities.

- As well as not being able to do any filming there.

- [Joseph] And you're banned from entering the country.

- Well maybe they have.

(static crackling)

Well, we got another problem.

The jade's been stolen.

The King Dwarf's jade.

So we're wanted.

The police are after us.

With the creole cartel now.

- It's okay.

We'll fix it.

Don't worry about it.

- We're not allowed to film in Guatemala,

so Clint will probably beat us for sure.

- [Ben] I don't think so.

We'll figure something out.

- And I'm out of a job.

- Don't worry about it.

I'll fix it.

Yeah, like I always fix everything.

(soft music)

- Well.

Maybe I can help you.

- Yeah.

- My second wife's cousin.

Nephew.

Calls me uncle.

He is the guardian of the jade cave.

- With the dwarf king?

- [Driver] Yes.

Would you like to go?

- Yeah, maybe we can talk to him.

- Well jump on in.

Let's go.

(bright music)

(speaking in foreign language) (bright music)

(bright music)

- Is everything all right?

(bright music)

- Oh, not again.

(bright music)

It happens all the time.

It's too hot.

- You think it's gonna be awhile?

- [Driver] Cool down take a long time.

- How far is that cave from here?

- Oh, not far at all.

Take the Valley, go to the ridge line.

- We're kinda in a hurry.

- We're gonna take off, partner.

You don't mind, right? - No, not at all.

- All right, okay.

We're out of here.

- All right.

- Good luck.

- Thank you.

(bright music)

This way to the ridge way?

- Yes.

(bright music)

- This is taking a lot longer than I thought.

I think we should just get back to the hotel.

There were some terrible people after us.

- Mika, we've almost done this.

Do you know where we're at?

- No Dad, I have no idea where we are.

Probably because I was gagged, bagged,

tossed in the trunk of a car

and driven to a hidden compound belonging to a drunk cartel

where I escape under extreme duress.

I have no idea where we are.

- Well Chino, it's right there.

We're not going back to the hotel

and we're gonna finish this.

(bright music)

- So anyway, they think that we're a part

of this American drug cartel that are his rivals

here to take over their territory, La Rubia and El Bruto.

- El Bruto?

I kind of like that.

That's got a ring to it.

- Trust me, you don't wanna be him

unless you like swimming with crocodiles.

- [Ben] They were gonna make you marry

a child groom because of that?

- [Mika] No.

- The tree of life.

That's the one that my contact told me

that priest would be near.

That's it right there.

No, Mika, sh.

(soft music)

(speaking in foreign language)

Okay Mika, look.

It's really important that you're calm, relaxed,

and you do not freak the priest out.

(speaking in foreign language) (soft music)

(soft dramatic music)

- That's it?

- [Ben] That's it.

(soft dramatic music)

(speaking in foreign language) (soft music)

- Your holiness.

- I am here.

- Hi, I'm so sorry to disturb you.

- Your uncle sent us here.

Said you were in charge of Mayan patrimony.

- There is an injustice that needs to be corrected.

You are wise to come seek my consult.

- We'd like to help.

- We did not steal that jade.

We wouldn't do anything like that.

- I can already tell by looking at you

that you are not responsible.

(soft dramatic music)

The culprit.

Is from Los Angeles.

(soft dramatic music)

- [Mika] We'd like you to come to L.A.

- Thank you, but I cannot go.

I must stay here.

This, all of this.

This is my place.

Those are my people.

I must stay here with them.

I have to wait for the jade here,

but I will be with you at every step.

(speaking in foreign language) (soft dramatic music)

- Is there another way out of here?

- Yes, there's a back way.

- Let's go.

(dramatic music)

- You go down this hole.

- Ah yeah.

- No, do not kidnap me.

- Don't worry.

(dramatic music)

(man screaming)

Okay.

- Which way? - Where to?

- That way.

(dramatic music)

- Where's the air field at?

- This way.

- Okay, great.

(dramatic music)

Okay, Mika.

Stop, stop, stop, stop.

Okay guys, I'm gonna go hot wire that airplane over there.

You guys wait here, okay.

When you hear the propeller start to turn, run.

(soft dramatic music)

- Okay, come on, let's go.

Let's go.

- It is my duty to stay.

It would honor me to be a distraction.

Just please find the jade.

- You're just scared.

- It is my wish, go.

- [Mika] Be ready.

(soft dramatic music) (speaking in foreign language)

- Where's the priest at?

- He was scared.

He's over there.

(speaking in foreign language) (soft dramatic music)

- [Ben] Get over here.

- Priest.

(gun firing) (soft dramatic music)

- Ah.

(speaking in foreign language) (soft dramatic music)

We are going to die.

We are going to die.

- Dad.

- It's okay.

He'll wake up when we get there.

Boy, what did you do to upset those guys so much

leaving that kid at the altar?

- They still think we're those two American drug lords.

(upbeat music) (gun firing)

Dad, do you know where we're gonna go?

- We're just gonna follow the river.

- [Mika] Okay.

(upbeat music) (gun firing)

(thunder rumbling)

- Okay Mika, we have a little bit of a problem here.

Yeah, we're not gonna make it to the state

with this fuel we got.

We're a little heavy in the rear, honey.

I gotta get back there

and see if I can find some stuff to throw out.

- Okay. - Now grab it.

Take the control. - No, no, no.

- Take it, take it.

No, no, Mika, you gotta take it.

You got this.

- [Mika] Okay, but hurry back fast.

- We got a little problem here.

We got a little cargo we're gonna have to get rid of here.

- Is everything okay back there?

- Wow.

Man, this is.

Whoa, this could be a real problem right here.

- What are you doing?

Dad.

Hurry, you have to take the control back.

I've never flown in this much turbulence.

(animal growling) (soft dramatic music)

- You seeing that?

Are you seeing that?

- [Mika] See what?

- Are you seeing that?

Are you seeing that?

Are you seeing that?

Are you seeing that?

- What are you doing?

Take the controls.

- No.

Mika, I can't.

Mika, I can't.

- What?

No.

Am I seeing what? - No.

No, I can't.

(thunder rumbling)

- Just relax.

Calm down.

- [Ben] No.

- Dad, what is wrong with you?

Sit down.

Sit.

- You got it.

- Okay, I got this.

Take over.

Come on.

Ooh.

I don't got this.

- Sorry, Mika. - Come on, Dad.

- You got this.

Just follow the river to the yellow house.

(thunder rumbling)

- Are you serious?

Ah.

(hand knocking)

- FedEx.

How you doing, man?

I have a delivery for Josh.

- Thank you.

- [Deliveryman] Thank you.

Have a goodnight, sir.

- Oh, you too.

(soft dramatic music)

- [Ben] I got it now, honey.

I'll take it from here.

- What do we do about him?

- We'll get him in a second.

- [Mika] Okay.

(bright music)

(speaking in foreign language) (bright music)

- Fine, thank you.

- [Ben] Oh, you look beautiful.

- Thank you.

- I need a favor.

- Anything for you.

(bright music)

- Mika, we're gonna split up here.

The priest is gonna come with me

and I'm going to smuggle him across the border.

I want you to go with Sarullo

and I'll see you up in the States.

♪ American girl ♪

- All right bye, thank you.

(upbeat music)

♪ Some say I'm an angel ♪

♪ Don't decide too soon ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm okay at a sunrise ♪

♪ But I have ♪

♪ I want ♪

♪ I want equal pay for the same job ♪

♪ When we walk through a door, I want your hand on the knob ♪

♪ Give me more signs ♪

- [Mika] Hello.

♪ I'm your average un-American girl ♪

♪ Don't wanna live anywhere else in the world ♪

- Hello.

♪ I'm your average un-American ♪

♪ Girl ♪

- Hey Sarullo.

It's Mika.

So I followed the map

and I'm at the fire, but nobody's here.

(phone ringing)

- Tell Mike I'll be there in two.

- [Mika] Hey Veronica.

- [Veronica] The little gazelle.

- Mika but.

- So what's up?

Did you get that movie?

No, no.

- About that.

I have been trying to get ahold of you over and over again.

- Well, they don't have cell service

at the top of the world.

- What?

- I took a film crew to the top of Mount Everest.

I just got back down to civilization.

- You climbed Mount Everest?

- Oh, I hunted that mountain down.

I ripped out its vocal cord.

Mount Everest was a sweet feast.

So what's up?

- So after you left that day, there was a little confusion

and they kind of thought it was you and I kind of let them

and now I'm producing a movie using your name.

- You did what?

- I sort of stole your identity

to further my fledging career.

Please don't be mad or have me arrested.

- Well.

The little gazelle has become a lion.

- You're not mad?

- Ah, it's Darwinism.

You can't be mad at evolution.

Okay.

I'll tell you what.

You throw a middle initial in there.

You can keep the name.

Oh, there's some guy named Josh

from that company who keeps calling me.

Keeps leaving me messages.

Just tell him to stop.

- Oh, hey Veronica.

I had another question.

Oh.

Yeah.

Veronica M. Lake.

Very good.

Now if I can just get somebody out here.

Hello.

(upbeat music)

♪ Freedom ♪

- Come on, hey.

♪ Un-American ♪

(upbeat music)

(bright music)

- [Guard] Border patrol, stop.

(man humming)

- [Ben] What is that?

- [Priest] The Boxmasters band.

All my aunts love Boxmasters band.

- [Ben] Wow.

I love 'em, too.

They're great.

- I want to go to Glendale like the song.

Oops.

♪ And it's clear ♪

♪ There's life out here ♪

♪ I got Glendale ♪

♪ Who gives a damn if we don't have a beach ♪

♪ There's always one not far out of reach ♪

- [Man] I got eyes on one.

Call in border patrol.

♪ We got sun and we have got to prove ♪

♪ All you do is go out on the roof ♪

♪ And it's clear there's life out here ♪

♪ I got Glendale ♪

♪ I'm not really not that pale ♪

♪ It's not like I'm in jail ♪

♪ I got Glendale ♪

♪ We're not quite as cool as Hollywood ♪

♪ We know we're not the hippest neighborhood ♪

♪ But we got stars ♪

- All right, let's go.

There's a lot of heat out here.

♪ You can see how ♪

- [Mika] Hang on.

(speaking in foreign language) (soft music)

(upbeat music)

♪ Am I stuck here in a dream ♪

♪ Am I stuck here in a dream ♪

♪ Am I stuck here in a dream ♪

(bright music)

- Reuben, here's your bonus.

We didn't make it to the final round,

but you did good, buddy.

You did good.

- My first paying gig.

I'm a real actor now.

- [Crowd] Worley brothers suck.

Free the jade.

Worley brothers suck.

Free the jade.

Worley brothers suck.

Free the jade.

- [Mika] Come on, Priest.

- [Ben] Come inside, Priest.

Please come inside.

- [Crowd] Worley brothers suck.

- [Ben] Priest, come on.

- [Mika] Come on.

- Green stone.

Any green stone.

I don't know.

What do you have that's jade like?

- Hi.

- What are you doing back already?

- Not that we're not happy to see you.

- We just thought you were solving our problem.

- That's exactly what we're doing.

We're solving the problem.

- Allow me the honor of introducing you

to the high priest of Uxmal.

(soft music)

- It is an honor to have you visit us.

- Yes, I hope you understand

that we would never do anything disreputable

to your culture or heritage.

- I know.

- So, you'll drop the charges?

- When the jade is returned, the charges will be dropped.

- Which is why we've agreed

to help him track down the person responsible.

- Whatever you need.

- We'll scour the earth looking for this man.

- We'll send out 100 headhunters

into every back alley and seedy backroom.

- We'll hire an army of private detectives.

- We'll spend the next 10 years finding this man.

- If that's what it takes.

- Thank you.

Thank you all for your assistance.

All I need is to set eyes

on the person responsible one time and I will know.

- Great.

We'll call in our associate, Josh.

He knows everyone in town. - Yes.

Josh, get in here.

- Josh.

(bright music)

- This is him.

- [James] Yes, this is Josh.

- That is the man.

- Yes, that is the man who will help you find

who you are looking for.

- I already have.

That is the man who stole my jade.

- What?

- Impossible.

- What?

I've never been to Guatemala.

- No, but someone under your control has.

I can feel it in your aura and I see it in your pants.

- Oh my God.

- Where did you find this guy?

On a street corner in La Cienga?

- The curse is already in your blood,

but soon it will be in your bones.

And that is when things start falling off.

- Whatever.

Whatever.

(soft music)

Oh, oh, ooh.

We have a movie to produce.

I don't have to listen to this.

- If you are certain this man, we will fire him immediately.

- Yes, we will fire him.

We do not want to offend anybody.

The Worley brothers are very PC.

- No, you will certainly not dismiss him.

Now that I have identified the man,

the curse will do the rest.

In our culture, sometimes terrible things happen

so that lessons must be learned.

- So does that mean that you'll drop the charges?

- Yes, of course, but do not fire him.

Now please tell me about your project.

- Actually, would you like to read our script?

- It's our version of the legend of the dwarf king.

- I love it.

What comes next?

- Casting. - Casting.

- I don't like that last girl.

- Well, well find somebody.

- This is Jackie Pucci.

- Hello there.

Take a look at this, honey.

I heard all about Hollywood.

- No, it's not that kind of movie.

- I'll do whatever it takes to make it.

- Well, thank you so much.

- Thank you for coming. - Meet me later.

- I'll be right back.

- I'll be right back, too.

- Maybe she will get the part.

Josh.

Please find me a virgin.

- I'll have to go to Santa Clarita.

- I don't know where that is, but that's fine.

Just go.

(bright music)

(computer ringing)

- Hello.

Oh my God, I miss that sweet, sweet face of yours.

Honey, I am loving this promotion.

How you doing, baby?

- Oh, I'm okay.

I'm just waiting on that call from Andy.

I think it's gonna be a good one.

- It's gonna be perfect.

Now someone told me that the priest got your office

and you got mine.

How you doing with that?

- Yeah.

Let's hope there's some good things coming.

Unknown call.

This is the one I've been waiting all week for.

(bright music)

Hello.

- [Clint] Joshua, this is Clint.

Andy speaks very highly of you.

- I just, thank you.

I have always wanted to work for a man like you.

It's been my dream.

- [Clint] That you will do work with me my man, Josh.

Now I've reviewed all of your information

and I now know who you are.

So we're looking forward

to having you on the team, Mr. Josh.

- Oh, thank you so much.

This is a tremendous opportunity.

And I want you to know that I'm aware

of what a great choice I have made teaming up with you.

- It's good to hear, Josh.

I have a feeling we're gonna be working together

for a very long time.

(speaking in foreign language)

- Morgan Freeman here.

Yeah, they're gonna need more money set to confirm the deal.

Okay, okay.

Yeah, of course.

Okay, thank you.

- Yeah.

You can do it by check.

Make it out to Robert DeNiro.

(speaking in foreign language)

- Our money.

- They say money does not grow on trees.

That's because it grows on fools.

(upbeat music)

- Worleys.

I'm going out for coffee and I'm not coming back.

And I don't hold any grudges.

I'm looking forward to seeing what you've done

to your production studio

and working with you on the future.

Josh Lambley just got the call.

Executive producer, baby.

Suck it.

(upbeat music)

(bright music)

♪ Sometimes life takes turns along the way ♪

♪ One day you're up and the next you're just living ♪

- Big mistake.

Big.

Huge.

♪ It's okay ♪

- [Automated Voice] You have reached the number that.

- [Doctor] So tell me, what are you interested in?

- Give me the works.

(bright music)

- [Marvin] Oh geez.

- Come on, you're almost done.

- [Marvin] Look, look, look.

- [Andy] Well, of course you have to take that.

- I can't leave it.

- You got almost everything, right?

- [Marvin] I think so.

I have so much denim, but I think I have it all.

- You don't have it all.

- [Marvin] What, what did I forget?

- Well, to celebrate the new chapter in our life.

Lagos, Nigeria.

It matches.

Less expensive.

You're my little gingerbread boy.

- [Marvin] Oh, but you caught me.

- My little gingerbread boy.

(hand knocking)

- [Officer] FBI, open.

- Ah, okay.

You have to stall them while I leave.

- You're gonna leave?

- [Andy] Yes.

- Wait, no, Andy.

- [Andy] Gotta go.

- What am I supposed to say?

Andy.

- This is it not 136 degrees.

- I measured it.

I'm pretty sure it's 136.

- Take it back.

Do it again.

- Coming right up, sir.

- I'm gonna need you in five.

- Okay.

(bright music)

- Oh.

- Mika, have you heard from the priest?

- Nothing but radio silence.

- It's been three days

and he has not answered any of my phone calls.

- He's probably just meditating

and decompressing from all the movie pressure.

- [Nurse] Priest, are you ready for some water?

(bright music)

♪ The rest ♪

♪ Hoping for a brand new day ♪

- [Ben] We did it.

♪ Hell ♪

♪ Oh hell ♪

♪ It's okay ♪

- Andy.

Andy.

Clint.

♪ Oh hell ♪

♪ Oh hell ♪

♪ It's gonna be okay ♪

- Dad.

(speaking in foreign language)

- Yeah, that's perfect.

(bright music)

- Director.

We've been trying to find you everywhere.

Listen, your call time is 6:00 a.m. tomorrow for filming.

Don't be late.

(bright music)

- Action.

- [Actor] Prepare for the dwarf king to arrive.

- [Jocelyn] Mika.

Mika, it's me.

It's Jocelyn.

- [Priest] Cut.

Not again.

Only.

- [Jocelyn] No, I know.

I totally understand.

- [Guard] You could cost me my job.

- But I'm with them.

Oh, hey girl.

Actually.

- I'm sorry we have a security breach in here

and she's not true.

- It's okay.

It's cool.

What are you doing here?

How'd that zombie flick go, huh?

- Yeah, it turns out they used a real pack of wolves so.

- Well.

I gotta get back to this, but we'll do lunch, Jocelyn.

I'll call ya and grab yourself a snack at craft service.

- Hey, who is that?

You're doing behind the scenes?

I'm Josh.

The producer.

I'll do an interview.

- Are you?

Big producer?

(bright music)

- Mika, what was that all about?

- [Joseph] Mika?

- Oh, don't worry about it.

Let's get back to shooting so we stay on schedule.

Priest, we're on.

(bright music)

- All right.

Take two.

(soft dramatic music)

- Feels good.

I always knew we were Oscar winners.

She always knew we were Oscar winners.

The only difference now is you know we're Oscar winners.

- The wrap party is across the street

featuring the greatest band in the world.

The Boxmasters. - The Boxmasters.

("Come Out and Play")

♪ Look in the mirror ♪

♪ Look in the mirror 'til you recognize that face ♪

♪ All you remember ♪

♪ All you remember ♪

♪ Is when you fell from grace ♪

♪ Come out and play ♪

♪ Come out and play again ♪

♪ Come out and play ♪

♪ Forget about the pain you suffered then ♪

- Hello, hello.

Veronica M. Lake.

No more plunging toilets for this guy.

- No, siree.

The only thing I'm plunging is into that fat woman of mine.

♪ Swept away ♪

♪ The door can be opened ♪

- There's Dwarf King Two, not so small anymore,

but after that there's love story.

And that is the story of how my wife and I came-

- Yes, baby.

It's our love story.

Whatever it takes.

♪ No one here cares where you been ♪

(speaking in foreign language)

♪ Again ♪

♪ Come out and play ♪

♪ With friends out here who never care for fame ♪

("I Got Glendale")

♪ Who gives a damn if we don't have a beach ♪

♪ There's always one not far out of reach ♪

♪ We got sun and we have got to prove ♪

♪ All you do is go up on the roof ♪

♪ And it's clear there's life out here ♪

♪ I got Glendale ♪

♪ I'm not really not that pale ♪

♪ It's not like I'm in jail ♪

♪ I got Glendale ♪

♪ We're not quite as cool as Hollywood ♪

♪ We know we're not the hippest neighborhood ♪

♪ But we got stars and we have got the proof ♪

♪ When nighttime falls just go up on the roof ♪

♪ And you can see our gallery on ♪

♪ I got Glendale ♪

♪ Saint Gabriel guardrails ♪

♪ Armenian yard sales ♪

♪ I got Glendale ♪

♪ Pasadena may be more refined ♪

♪ The chemicals we breathe are the same kind ♪

♪ We also got smog ♪

♪ We got the proof ♪

♪ That brown thing on my house is my wide proof ♪

♪ To buy the gear ♪

♪ You gotta go through here ♪

♪ I got Glendale ♪