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1
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The day you discharge
a patient who nearly died
2
00:00:02,815 --> 00:00:03,926
is a very good day.
3
00:00:03,950 --> 00:00:06,161
It has never, ever been about me!
4
00:00:06,185 --> 00:00:07,562
I do love you!
5
00:00:07,586 --> 00:00:08,730
I want you.
6
00:00:08,754 --> 00:00:10,432
- Say it.
- I love you, too.
7
00:00:10,456 --> 00:00:12,034
We're done.
8
00:00:14,226 --> 00:00:15,470
I'll be in my car.
9
00:00:15,494 --> 00:00:17,039
Lot B, 7:00.
10
00:00:17,063 --> 00:00:18,307
You say your goodbyes.
11
00:00:18,331 --> 00:00:20,609
- You wish them luck.
- We can't do this.
12
00:00:20,633 --> 00:00:22,611
And you hope like hell
you never see them again.
13
00:00:22,635 --> 00:00:24,012
Here at the Trade Center,
14
00:00:24,036 --> 00:00:26,415
we are getting reports
that a part of the tower
15
00:00:26,439 --> 00:00:27,716
has collapsed.
16
00:00:27,740 --> 00:00:29,651
Because when a patient does return,
17
00:00:29,675 --> 00:00:31,853
there's a very good chance
you screwed up.
18
00:00:33,879 --> 00:00:36,091
I have loved you when I was coupled up.
19
00:00:36,115 --> 00:00:37,926
I have loved you when I was single.
20
00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:41,897
I have loved you
every second of every day.
21
00:00:41,921 --> 00:00:43,065
Teddy.
22
00:00:43,089 --> 00:00:45,867
I love you. I'm in love with you.
23
00:00:45,891 --> 00:00:47,710
I'm in love with Cristina.
24
00:00:47,734 --> 00:00:50,706
And then you'll be looking back
to find what you missed,
25
00:00:50,730 --> 00:00:52,674
replaying every moment
to find the one thing
26
00:00:52,698 --> 00:00:54,376
you could have done differently.
27
00:00:55,534 --> 00:00:56,812
And if you're like me,
28
00:00:56,836 --> 00:00:58,847
you'll obsess over finding that mistake.
29
00:01:03,042 --> 00:01:05,287
I'll make pancakes.
30
00:01:16,389 --> 00:01:19,656
Until it drives you out of your mind.
31
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Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
32
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Mama, I can't...
33
00:01:30,269 --> 00:01:31,343
Hey.
34
00:01:31,367 --> 00:01:32,547
Everything's okay.
35
00:01:32,571 --> 00:01:34,883
Okay? You want some more?
36
00:01:34,907 --> 00:01:36,051
There.
37
00:01:36,075 --> 00:01:37,226
Look at me.
38
00:01:37,250 --> 00:01:38,687
Mama's okay.
39
00:01:38,711 --> 00:01:39,718
Okay?
40
00:01:39,742 --> 00:01:40,929
I want Mama.
41
00:01:40,953 --> 00:01:42,524
I know.
42
00:01:42,548 --> 00:01:43,925
Mama.
43
00:01:48,354 --> 00:01:49,586
Hey.
44
00:01:51,824 --> 00:01:53,409
It's the, uh...
45
00:01:54,293 --> 00:01:57,227
It's the raspberry jam you like,
from the farmer's market.
46
00:01:58,431 --> 00:01:59,741
Teddy, you should really eat.
47
00:01:59,765 --> 00:02:02,110
Even if you're not hungry.
48
00:02:02,134 --> 00:02:03,753
Teddy.
49
00:02:07,740 --> 00:02:09,418
So, Meredith's stable.
50
00:02:09,442 --> 00:02:11,286
Not off the vent but stable.
51
00:02:11,310 --> 00:02:13,288
Webber says he wants to try
and wean her off the vent
52
00:02:13,312 --> 00:02:15,190
in a couple days, so...
53
00:02:30,996 --> 00:02:32,841
Mom sent me a video of Leo.
54
00:02:32,865 --> 00:02:34,342
They made up this new game where...
55
00:02:34,366 --> 00:02:37,512
Where she pre... she pretends
to wrap him in pillows
56
00:02:37,536 --> 00:02:39,214
and he pretends like
he's sleeping on a cloud.
57
00:02:39,238 --> 00:02:41,705
It's ... It's really adorable.
58
00:02:44,410 --> 00:02:45,787
Teddy.
59
00:03:00,426 --> 00:03:01,444
Hey. Hey.
60
00:03:01,468 --> 00:03:02,507
Thank you.
61
00:03:02,531 --> 00:03:03,872
Is this really necessary?
62
00:03:03,896 --> 00:03:06,241
You can't get her to drink
a sip of water?
63
00:03:06,265 --> 00:03:07,609
No.
64
00:03:07,633 --> 00:03:08,677
Do you want me to try?
65
00:03:08,701 --> 00:03:09,913
I've been tested. I'm negative.
66
00:03:09,937 --> 00:03:11,296
Me too but it's not a good time.
67
00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:12,881
Allison's napping.
68
00:03:12,905 --> 00:03:14,250
But thank you for the fluids
69
00:03:14,311 --> 00:03:15,382
and I'll keep you updated, okay?
70
00:03:15,406 --> 00:03:16,451
Owen.
71
00:03:16,475 --> 00:03:18,036
Let me try.
72
00:03:18,845 --> 00:03:20,378
Let me try to help.
73
00:03:22,114 --> 00:03:23,358
Okay.
74
00:03:23,382 --> 00:03:25,527
Yeah.
75
00:04:06,392 --> 00:04:07,769
Hey, Altman.
76
00:04:07,793 --> 00:04:09,905
Is everything okay?
77
00:04:09,929 --> 00:04:11,406
Yeah.
78
00:04:11,430 --> 00:04:14,409
Sorry. Um, aren't I supposed to be here?
79
00:04:14,433 --> 00:04:16,311
- I don't know.
- How long have you been off the vent?
80
00:04:16,335 --> 00:04:17,679
I was on a vent?
81
00:04:17,703 --> 00:04:19,036
Coming through.
82
00:04:21,006 --> 00:04:22,717
- Excuse me.
- DeLuca?
83
00:04:26,245 --> 00:04:27,455
Help!
84
00:04:27,479 --> 00:04:29,090
Help! Help!
85
00:04:29,114 --> 00:04:30,559
DeLuca, what is wrong
with you? Get me out of here!
86
00:04:30,583 --> 00:04:31,893
Do something!
87
00:04:31,917 --> 00:04:33,261
We've been seeing this a lot
in patients lately,
88
00:04:33,285 --> 00:04:35,163
- but trust me, she's gone.
- Help!
89
00:04:36,322 --> 00:04:40,235
Oh! How do people breathe
in these things?
90
00:04:40,259 --> 00:04:42,829
Okay, I'm good.
91
00:04:44,597 --> 00:04:46,508
So, you ready to start?
92
00:04:46,532 --> 00:04:48,109
Start what?
93
00:04:48,133 --> 00:04:49,578
The incision.
94
00:04:58,143 --> 00:04:59,988
You said you could save her life.
95
00:05:00,012 --> 00:05:01,423
Save who?
96
00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:03,692
Meredith.
97
00:05:16,762 --> 00:05:17,906
I...
98
00:05:19,331 --> 00:05:21,543
I don't know what to do.
99
00:05:30,209 --> 00:05:31,453
Allison?
100
00:05:38,183 --> 00:05:40,362
Teddy.
101
00:05:42,848 --> 00:05:44,232
Allison!
102
00:05:47,493 --> 00:05:48,959
Allison!
103
00:05:50,529 --> 00:05:52,240
Allison, wait!
104
00:05:59,305 --> 00:06:01,972
Allison?
105
00:06:04,677 --> 00:06:06,054
Any luck?
106
00:06:06,078 --> 00:06:07,122
No.
107
00:06:08,380 --> 00:06:09,617
If something doesn't change soon,
108
00:06:09,667 --> 00:06:10,828
I'm gonna have to have her admitted.
109
00:06:10,859 --> 00:06:12,127
Owen, she's overworked, she's overtired,
110
00:06:12,151 --> 00:06:13,628
she just lost DeLuca.
111
00:06:13,652 --> 00:06:15,330
I mean, she probably just needs
some more rest.
112
00:06:15,354 --> 00:06:16,898
She hasn't spoken, she hasn't eaten,
113
00:06:16,922 --> 00:06:20,368
she hasn't so much as
acknowledged her own daughter.
114
00:06:20,392 --> 00:06:22,003
Amelia, the only other time
I've seen that kind of look,
115
00:06:22,027 --> 00:06:23,596
it's in soldiers.
116
00:06:25,014 --> 00:06:27,309
And plenty of them never came back.
117
00:06:36,617 --> 00:06:38,696
Teddy, Amelia brought fluids.
118
00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:42,855
You will feel so much better
once you are hydrated.
119
00:06:59,340 --> 00:07:01,085
Allison?
120
00:07:02,310 --> 00:07:04,688
Allison?
121
00:07:04,712 --> 00:07:06,123
Allison!
122
00:07:06,147 --> 00:07:07,425
Wait.
123
00:07:07,449 --> 00:07:08,993
Allison, don't leave!
124
00:07:09,017 --> 00:07:10,795
Don't throw your life away, Teddy.
125
00:07:10,819 --> 00:07:11,905
Allison!
126
00:07:11,929 --> 00:07:13,330
Tonight, I'll be in my car.
127
00:07:13,354 --> 00:07:16,133
Lot B, 7:00.
128
00:07:16,609 --> 00:07:18,536
Hey.
129
00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:19,637
Hey.
130
00:07:19,661 --> 00:07:21,272
Not to tell you how to live your life,
131
00:07:21,296 --> 00:07:24,008
but shouldn't you be
getting married right now?
132
00:07:24,032 --> 00:07:25,390
Owen's not there.
133
00:07:25,431 --> 00:07:26,710
You're thinking of running.
134
00:07:26,752 --> 00:07:30,047
Amelia did the same thing
the night she married Owen.
135
00:07:30,071 --> 00:07:31,315
Poor bastard.
136
00:07:31,339 --> 00:07:33,984
It would have been better. For everyone.
137
00:07:34,008 --> 00:07:37,321
I think your problems go back
a lot further than tonight.
138
00:07:40,748 --> 00:07:42,993
I have to try, don't I?
139
00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:06,650
You breaking stuff?
140
00:08:06,674 --> 00:08:08,919
It's a bed for Leo.
141
00:08:08,943 --> 00:08:10,354
I can't make sense
of these instructions.
142
00:08:10,378 --> 00:08:12,411
I think they're in Danish or something.
143
00:08:13,748 --> 00:08:15,292
Two heads are better than one?
144
00:08:15,316 --> 00:08:16,792
Amelia, you don't have to stay.
145
00:08:17,986 --> 00:08:20,124
I know.
146
00:08:20,148 --> 00:08:21,432
Okay.
147
00:08:21,456 --> 00:08:23,901
This and...
148
00:08:23,925 --> 00:08:25,236
Pick up the bottom part.
149
00:08:25,260 --> 00:08:26,337
Yeah.
150
00:08:30,999 --> 00:08:33,344
And I'm being told
we have some breaking news...
151
00:08:33,368 --> 00:08:35,179
The daily body count of COVID patients
152
00:08:35,203 --> 00:08:37,548
could exceed that of 9/11
in the upcoming mon...
153
00:08:38,907 --> 00:08:43,053
♪ Fini la musique, la foule défile ♪
154
00:08:43,077 --> 00:08:44,255
I'm not a Vegas guy.
155
00:08:44,279 --> 00:08:46,357
I'm not a Vegas guy.
156
00:08:46,381 --> 00:08:48,092
Hey.
157
00:08:48,116 --> 00:08:50,761
Feeling any different?
158
00:08:50,785 --> 00:08:52,329
We hurt Owen.
159
00:08:52,353 --> 00:08:53,908
No, you... You hurt Owen.
160
00:08:53,937 --> 00:08:56,267
I'm just the guy
driving the getaway car.
161
00:08:56,291 --> 00:08:57,554
He'll be hurt, but we...
162
00:08:57,578 --> 00:08:59,203
We always come back to being friends.
163
00:08:59,227 --> 00:09:01,739
Speaking of, should you maybe
make a phone call?
164
00:09:01,763 --> 00:09:02,940
Mm.
165
00:09:02,964 --> 00:09:04,742
♪ Quand la gloire se fanait? ♪
166
00:09:06,167 --> 00:09:08,445
♪ Les bravos se taisaient? ♪
167
00:09:08,469 --> 00:09:10,147
It can wait.
168
00:09:10,171 --> 00:09:11,600
♪ Ou, ou étais-tu ♪
169
00:09:11,625 --> 00:09:13,984
Tonight's about us.
170
00:09:14,008 --> 00:09:15,553
This should be fun.
171
00:09:17,145 --> 00:09:24,128
♪ Quand le silence s'approchait? ♪
172
00:09:25,954 --> 00:09:28,154
Morning.
173
00:09:30,825 --> 00:09:32,503
What time is it? Mm.
174
00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:41,445
We have all the time in the world.
175
00:09:41,469 --> 00:09:45,738
Have I ever told you what
excellent room service I make?
176
00:09:47,241 --> 00:09:48,886
If I could choose one meal
for the rest of my life,
177
00:09:48,910 --> 00:09:50,086
it would be this.
178
00:09:50,125 --> 00:09:51,589
Pancakes and champagne.
179
00:09:53,281 --> 00:09:55,192
Oh, my God!
180
00:09:55,216 --> 00:09:58,495
I choose this and you.
181
00:10:11,007 --> 00:10:12,742
Owen's gone.
182
00:10:13,601 --> 00:10:15,579
What do you...
What do you mean he's gone?
183
00:10:15,603 --> 00:10:17,648
Apparently he took the kids
and got on a plane.
184
00:10:17,672 --> 00:10:19,283
Got on a plane to where?
185
00:10:19,307 --> 00:10:22,486
Here we go again,
eenie meenie miny snooze.
186
00:10:22,510 --> 00:10:23,554
You think this is funny?
187
00:10:23,578 --> 00:10:24,868
But my family is gone.
188
00:10:24,898 --> 00:10:26,085
What? Your family?
189
00:10:26,109 --> 00:10:27,101
Or Owen?
190
00:10:27,125 --> 00:10:28,468
I can't live without him.
191
00:10:28,492 --> 00:10:32,131
Oh, which makes me the gum stuck
to the bottom of your shoe?
192
00:10:32,156 --> 00:10:34,268
I didn't think
that he would actually leave.
193
00:10:34,292 --> 00:10:36,237
Yeah. He left. Owen Hunt is a man.
194
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:38,138
He doesn't sit around
and wait while you play games
195
00:10:38,162 --> 00:10:40,007
and choose other people
and have babies with them.
196
00:10:40,031 --> 00:10:41,030
What did you expect?
197
00:10:41,054 --> 00:10:42,294
Owen, you aren't thinking.
198
00:10:42,328 --> 00:10:44,044
Come back. Please.
199
00:10:44,068 --> 00:10:46,280
Yeah. That should do it.
200
00:10:46,304 --> 00:10:48,082
You ruined my life.
201
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:49,783
I ruined my life.
202
00:10:49,807 --> 00:10:50,951
You ruined my life.
203
00:10:50,975 --> 00:10:53,621
Teddy, Teddy, Teddy, please.
204
00:10:53,645 --> 00:10:54,718
I love you.
205
00:10:54,742 --> 00:10:55,804
I don't want you to love me.
206
00:10:55,858 --> 00:10:57,458
I love Owen and I-I love my kids
207
00:10:57,482 --> 00:11:00,094
and I love my family,
and I... I don't...
208
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:02,563
I don't want you to love me
and I don't want this life!
209
00:11:02,587 --> 00:11:04,098
Wait! Wait.
210
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,900
We'll work this out.
211
00:11:05,924 --> 00:11:07,101
Don't ruin your life.
212
00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:08,302
Run away with me.
213
00:11:08,326 --> 00:11:10,037
I'll be in my car.
214
00:11:10,061 --> 00:11:11,138
7:00.
215
00:11:11,162 --> 00:11:13,307
Tom, this never should have happened.
216
00:11:13,331 --> 00:11:14,408
Save yourself.
217
00:11:20,505 --> 00:11:21,882
Wait. I didn't mean to...
218
00:11:36,180 --> 00:11:38,692
You know, personally, I never
got what you saw in that guy.
219
00:11:38,716 --> 00:11:40,760
But I-I didn't want to hurt him.
220
00:11:40,784 --> 00:11:42,696
Well, maybe skip the grenade next time?
221
00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:44,097
You're always blowing things up.
222
00:11:44,121 --> 00:11:45,298
No.
223
00:11:45,322 --> 00:11:47,334
No. No.
224
00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:49,000
Amelia and I are done.
225
00:11:50,461 --> 00:11:52,038
There's nothing standing in our way.
226
00:11:52,062 --> 00:11:53,402
- ...already...
- You can't just tell me
227
00:11:53,426 --> 00:11:54,708
when to go and when to stay!
228
00:11:54,732 --> 00:11:56,543
I don't want you here anymore!
229
00:12:01,238 --> 00:12:02,716
Yeah, the snow wasn't for the soldiers.
230
00:12:02,740 --> 00:12:03,817
It was for you.
231
00:12:03,841 --> 00:12:04,906
I'm done, Owen.
232
00:12:04,945 --> 00:12:06,887
We're done.
233
00:12:08,078 --> 00:12:09,956
Owen flew halfway across the planet
234
00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:11,291
and you just kicked him out.
235
00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:13,159
Well, Meredith was right.
I need to go back further.
236
00:12:13,183 --> 00:12:15,528
Pretty sure this is not
what she meant by that.
237
00:12:15,552 --> 00:12:17,197
But if we are re-writing history,
238
00:12:17,221 --> 00:12:20,033
maybe you could, uh,
not kill me this time?
239
00:12:20,057 --> 00:12:21,871
I'm so sorry.
240
00:12:23,594 --> 00:12:27,974
But if I never meet you,
I can't hurt you.
241
00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:30,076
Owen, wait!
242
00:12:43,781 --> 00:12:45,392
Oh.
243
00:12:52,690 --> 00:12:54,501
Oh, I got to go to work.
244
00:12:54,525 --> 00:12:56,369
New boss is a real nutcracker.
245
00:12:57,546 --> 00:12:59,408
Stop it.
246
00:13:01,432 --> 00:13:04,144
Teddy, there's something
I need to tell you.
247
00:13:04,168 --> 00:13:06,479
You can tell me anything.
248
00:13:06,503 --> 00:13:08,148
I love living with you.
249
00:13:08,172 --> 00:13:10,961
I love working with you but...
250
00:13:12,009 --> 00:13:13,881
but it's not enough.
251
00:13:14,378 --> 00:13:15,889
Wait, what?
252
00:13:15,913 --> 00:13:17,290
I want to marry you.
253
00:13:17,314 --> 00:13:20,026
- Right here.
- Right here, in bed?
254
00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:21,728
Mm, I'd be happy to go with living room.
255
00:13:32,796 --> 00:13:34,140
What?
256
00:13:34,164 --> 00:13:35,542
Teddy?
257
00:13:35,566 --> 00:13:36,576
Wait, what is it?
258
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,778
I just... I don't know.
259
00:13:38,802 --> 00:13:41,450
I don't want there to be
any secrets between us.
260
00:13:42,606 --> 00:13:44,039
Okay.
261
00:13:45,509 --> 00:13:47,206
So, Allison.
262
00:13:48,345 --> 00:13:49,789
Um...
263
00:13:51,448 --> 00:13:53,293
She wasn't... She wasn't just my friend.
264
00:13:53,317 --> 00:13:54,922
She was...
265
00:13:55,386 --> 00:13:57,508
She was the love of my life.
266
00:13:58,655 --> 00:14:00,367
Wait, New York Allison?
267
00:14:00,391 --> 00:14:01,923
Yeah.
268
00:14:04,762 --> 00:14:06,206
Wow.
269
00:14:06,230 --> 00:14:07,974
Owen, I... I... I'm...
270
00:14:07,998 --> 00:14:09,509
Wow.
271
00:14:09,533 --> 00:14:11,277
I'm so sorry.
272
00:14:11,301 --> 00:14:13,816
I'm so sorry that you lost her.
273
00:14:15,172 --> 00:14:16,983
Yeah.
274
00:14:17,007 --> 00:14:18,618
Me too.
275
00:14:18,642 --> 00:14:21,365
Hey, I want to take all that pain and...
276
00:14:22,046 --> 00:14:23,656
I can't erase it
277
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:26,161
but I can spend every day trying.
278
00:14:27,418 --> 00:14:29,295
Please, marry me.
279
00:14:29,319 --> 00:14:31,364
Okay.
280
00:14:32,656 --> 00:14:34,756
Alright, okay. You look great.
281
00:14:36,093 --> 00:14:39,327
Do you, Theodora Grace Altman, take...
282
00:14:39,351 --> 00:14:41,074
Text message, sorry.
283
00:14:41,098 --> 00:14:43,176
Do you, Theodora Grace Altman, take...
284
00:14:44,375 --> 00:14:46,212
- Could you...
- Yeah, of course.
285
00:14:46,236 --> 00:14:47,313
Amelia.
286
00:14:47,337 --> 00:14:49,249
"Yay wedding, yay joy.
287
00:14:49,273 --> 00:14:50,383
Xoxo."
288
00:14:52,142 --> 00:14:53,920
- We good?
- Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?
289
00:14:53,944 --> 00:14:55,522
- Okay.
- Okay, sorry.
290
00:14:58,449 --> 00:14:59,459
Beth.
291
00:14:59,483 --> 00:15:01,361
"Happy you're so happy."
292
00:15:01,385 --> 00:15:03,296
As in your ex-fiancée Beth?
293
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:04,382
- Yeah.
- I didn't... I didn't know
294
00:15:04,433 --> 00:15:05,522
that you still talked to Beth.
295
00:15:05,546 --> 00:15:07,600
Why are you saying it like that?
"Beth." What's...?
296
00:15:07,624 --> 00:15:09,502
Well, I-I just didn't think
that you still talked to her.
297
00:15:09,526 --> 00:15:10,770
Yeah. Mondays at 11:00,
298
00:15:10,794 --> 00:15:11,905
but we had to change it today
299
00:15:11,929 --> 00:15:13,373
'cause she had
her parent/teacher conference,
300
00:15:13,397 --> 00:15:14,908
but look. She's so happy for us.
301
00:15:14,932 --> 00:15:15,909
The wedding we all dream of...
302
00:15:15,933 --> 00:15:17,377
Stop it!
303
00:15:17,401 --> 00:15:18,878
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
304
00:15:18,902 --> 00:15:20,341
Cristina?
305
00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,749
Cristina's bought us tickets
to Switzerland
306
00:15:22,773 --> 00:15:24,784
as our wedding present.
307
00:15:24,808 --> 00:15:25,985
Wow.
308
00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:27,720
We can... We can go stay with her
309
00:15:27,744 --> 00:15:31,091
and maybe teach a trauma class
at her hospital.
310
00:15:31,115 --> 00:15:32,992
Owen, put your phone away.
311
00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:34,828
- Yeah, anything for you.
- Okay.
312
00:15:34,852 --> 00:15:36,179
Okay, as I was saying...
313
00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:40,433
Hey, I'm home.
314
00:15:40,457 --> 00:15:42,569
So, uh, Leo will do
Thanksgiving with me,
315
00:15:42,593 --> 00:15:44,037
and Christmas with you...?
316
00:15:44,061 --> 00:15:45,071
Wow.
317
00:15:45,095 --> 00:15:47,373
I didn't know we had bone china.
318
00:15:47,397 --> 00:15:48,475
Are you really sure?
319
00:15:48,499 --> 00:15:53,113
You, me, Teddy, our kids,
all of us, together?
320
00:15:53,137 --> 00:15:54,147
Really?
321
00:15:54,171 --> 00:15:55,882
Wow!
322
00:15:55,906 --> 00:15:58,785
You're amazing, Amelia.
323
00:15:58,809 --> 00:15:59,851
Bye.
324
00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:01,855
Hey. So, come, sit, sit.
325
00:16:01,879 --> 00:16:03,289
Come on.
326
00:16:03,313 --> 00:16:05,636
So, uh...
327
00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:07,827
You were... You were talking to Amelia?
328
00:16:07,851 --> 00:16:09,562
Yeah, we talk every day.
329
00:16:09,586 --> 00:16:10,763
She is bringing Leo here
330
00:16:10,787 --> 00:16:13,133
so we can have the holidays
all together.
331
00:16:13,157 --> 00:16:16,202
You don't think that's something
that you should've asked?
332
00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:17,704
It's true love, Teddy.
333
00:16:17,728 --> 00:16:19,606
You really want to ask permission?
334
00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:20,940
True... You love her?
335
00:16:20,964 --> 00:16:22,308
How can you not love Amelia?
336
00:16:22,332 --> 00:16:23,576
It's Amelia.
337
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,145
So she comes first?
338
00:16:25,169 --> 00:16:26,579
No, no, God, no.
339
00:16:26,603 --> 00:16:28,314
Cristina comes first.
340
00:16:28,338 --> 00:16:29,516
Wait.
341
00:16:29,540 --> 00:16:31,284
But you... You married me.
342
00:16:31,308 --> 00:16:32,619
You... You chose me.
343
00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:33,987
Oh, this is good.
344
00:16:34,011 --> 00:16:35,188
Listen.
345
00:16:35,212 --> 00:16:36,823
It's not your fault that
you don't know how to love.
346
00:16:36,847 --> 00:16:37,890
What did you just say to me?
347
00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:38,992
- I said I love you.
- Oh.
348
00:16:39,033 --> 00:16:40,994
And pass the gravy. But I also love you.
349
00:16:41,018 --> 00:16:42,762
This... This doesn't feel right.
350
00:16:42,786 --> 00:16:44,931
Because it's not. The only
reason that I came here,
351
00:16:44,955 --> 00:16:47,200
the only reason
that we have a baby together
352
00:16:47,224 --> 00:16:48,501
is because of Amelia.
353
00:16:50,127 --> 00:16:51,070
You know what?
354
00:16:51,094 --> 00:16:52,805
We really should be thanking her.
355
00:16:52,829 --> 00:16:53,940
Do you want to call her back
or should I?
356
00:16:53,964 --> 00:16:55,108
Get out of my house.
357
00:16:55,132 --> 00:16:57,010
You know, you say that a lot,
but you never really mean it.
358
00:16:57,034 --> 00:16:59,612
That's why I keep coming
back. It's sort of our thing.
359
00:16:59,636 --> 00:17:00,980
I don't want it to be our thing.
360
00:17:01,004 --> 00:17:03,683
Well, then the only alternative
is you realize
361
00:17:03,707 --> 00:17:04,918
one of these days...
362
00:17:04,942 --> 00:17:06,371
One of these days what?
363
00:17:06,398 --> 00:17:08,468
Dessert.
364
00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:09,522
Ah, yes.
365
00:17:09,546 --> 00:17:11,191
You'll burn yourself.
366
00:17:11,215 --> 00:17:12,258
I've got it, Amelia.
367
00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:14,027
Teddy. It's Teddy.
368
00:17:14,051 --> 00:17:15,862
What's wrong with Teddy?
369
00:17:15,886 --> 00:17:18,398
You keep looking past me,
like you always do.
370
00:17:18,422 --> 00:17:20,522
Even though I'm right here.
371
00:17:21,992 --> 00:17:23,102
Yeah, I'm done.
372
00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:25,104
I'm done. I am done waiting for you
373
00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:27,207
and feeling like this
every time. I'm done.
374
00:17:27,231 --> 00:17:28,608
It's Teddy!
375
00:17:28,632 --> 00:17:30,710
I know, right?
376
00:17:30,734 --> 00:17:31,844
I love Teddy.
377
00:17:31,868 --> 00:17:35,882
But... she's no you, Amelia.
378
00:17:35,906 --> 00:17:37,450
Here.
379
00:17:37,474 --> 00:17:38,952
Eat.
380
00:17:38,976 --> 00:17:40,587
It's your favorite.
381
00:17:47,017 --> 00:17:48,294
So you guys haven't talked since...
382
00:17:48,318 --> 00:17:50,679
Since she humiliated me at work
and destroyed our family? No.
383
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:52,632
I was gonna say
since you brought her home.
384
00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:54,000
I just want to make sure
that she's okay,
385
00:17:54,024 --> 00:17:55,201
and I'm gonna head back to the hotel.
386
00:17:55,225 --> 00:17:56,536
- Owen.
- Amelia, I don't want to talk to her
387
00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:59,038
because every time I do,
it just makes me angrier.
388
00:17:59,062 --> 00:18:01,874
Okay? And I'm exhausted by it.
389
00:18:01,898 --> 00:18:03,409
So I'm done.
390
00:18:03,433 --> 00:18:05,044
Can you pass me the side part, please?
391
00:18:05,068 --> 00:18:06,346
What about therapy?
392
00:18:06,370 --> 00:18:08,147
- I go to therapy.
- With Teddy?
393
00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:09,816
I don't need to pay
some stranger to sit there
394
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:10,883
and listen to Teddy lie to me.
395
00:18:10,907 --> 00:18:12,919
Would you cut her some
slack? She just lost DeLuca.
396
00:18:12,943 --> 00:18:15,321
We all lost DeLuca.
397
00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:18,458
I was standing right across
from her the day that he died.
398
00:18:18,482 --> 00:18:19,659
But we don't all have the luxury
399
00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:21,783
of just shutting down completely.
400
00:18:24,988 --> 00:18:26,432
I want her to be well.
401
00:18:26,456 --> 00:18:28,601
Obviously I do.
402
00:18:28,625 --> 00:18:31,904
You know, Leo's been
asking to see his Mama all day
403
00:18:31,928 --> 00:18:34,440
and I had to lie to him
and say that she's working
404
00:18:34,464 --> 00:18:36,376
because I don't want him
to see her like this.
405
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,144
He needs her, you know?
406
00:18:38,168 --> 00:18:40,832
Allison needs her. But honestly...
407
00:18:41,738 --> 00:18:42,882
Honestly, I don't.
408
00:18:42,906 --> 00:18:44,250
- Owen...
- All she's ever done is lie to me.
409
00:18:44,274 --> 00:18:45,418
That's all she's ever done.
410
00:18:45,442 --> 00:18:47,654
She didn't tell me
she was pregnant for months,
411
00:18:47,678 --> 00:18:51,557
she cheated on me for weeks
before our wedding night, and...
412
00:18:51,581 --> 00:18:53,326
And you remember Allison?
413
00:18:53,350 --> 00:18:54,494
Teddy's best friend who died?
414
00:18:54,518 --> 00:18:55,995
The one we named our daughter after?
415
00:18:56,019 --> 00:18:57,664
Well, it turns out that
she's not just her best friend.
416
00:18:57,688 --> 00:18:59,799
She's the love of Teddy's life.
417
00:18:59,823 --> 00:19:02,235
And she didn't mention it to me once
418
00:19:02,259 --> 00:19:03,936
in all the decades
that we've known each other.
419
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,171
Not once.
420
00:19:05,195 --> 00:19:06,973
She just mentioned it
as some kind of excuse
421
00:19:06,997 --> 00:19:08,474
for all the horrible things
that she's done.
422
00:19:08,498 --> 00:19:10,910
And there's nothing I can do about it
423
00:19:10,934 --> 00:19:12,178
and talking doesn't help.
424
00:19:12,202 --> 00:19:13,880
Okay?
425
00:19:13,904 --> 00:19:16,037
So can we please just build this bed?
426
00:19:35,305 --> 00:19:36,816
I'm never gonna be enough for you.
427
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:38,218
You sound ridiculous.
428
00:19:47,084 --> 00:19:48,728
More lap pads.
429
00:19:48,752 --> 00:19:50,296
So much bleeding.
430
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:51,931
Suction.
431
00:19:57,394 --> 00:19:58,972
I'll make pancakes.
432
00:20:03,267 --> 00:20:05,111
Turn that monitor off!
433
00:20:06,403 --> 00:20:07,547
Hey.
434
00:20:09,106 --> 00:20:10,939
It's not gonna make any difference.
435
00:20:18,215 --> 00:20:19,926
Did you always love her?
436
00:20:19,950 --> 00:20:21,361
Allison?
437
00:20:21,385 --> 00:20:23,163
Can we talk about this somewhere else?
438
00:20:23,187 --> 00:20:26,855
Teddy, this OR is very familiar
with your private life.
439
00:20:28,125 --> 00:20:29,836
Was it love at first sight?
440
00:20:32,696 --> 00:20:35,280
I was always drawn to her.
441
00:20:35,799 --> 00:20:39,868
She was the most alive person
I've ever known.
442
00:20:41,138 --> 00:20:43,205
She was good.
443
00:20:44,041 --> 00:20:45,652
And she was kind.
444
00:20:53,817 --> 00:20:55,759
9-1-1!
445
00:20:56,954 --> 00:20:59,199
He was stuck in a bush by the bike path.
446
00:20:59,223 --> 00:21:00,400
I think he broke his leg.
447
00:21:00,424 --> 00:21:02,802
Allison, what? No, you're gonna
get psittacosis.
448
00:21:02,826 --> 00:21:04,204
First off, that sounds fake.
449
00:21:04,228 --> 00:21:07,307
And second, don't you have
a medical kit in your bag?!
450
00:21:07,331 --> 00:21:09,242
Okay, okay.
451
00:21:12,669 --> 00:21:16,583
Both my parents died that same year.
452
00:21:16,607 --> 00:21:17,851
She carried me through that.
453
00:21:17,875 --> 00:21:18,921
Yeah, that's my mom.
454
00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:19,975
What?
455
00:21:28,919 --> 00:21:31,631
I will. I will talk to her again.
456
00:21:31,655 --> 00:21:33,266
Thank you.
457
00:21:38,128 --> 00:21:41,555
That was the maintenance manager
at your mom's building again.
458
00:21:42,628 --> 00:21:45,574
Teddy, you're gonna have to go
through your mom's stuff
459
00:21:45,669 --> 00:21:47,981
or they're gonna auction it off
460
00:21:48,005 --> 00:21:50,038
or... or throw it away.
461
00:21:52,075 --> 00:21:55,577
I would do it for you,
but I-I don't know what to keep.
462
00:21:59,449 --> 00:22:01,828
We played Scrabble.
463
00:22:01,852 --> 00:22:03,162
You mean when you were a kid?
464
00:22:03,186 --> 00:22:05,198
Yes, but also when my dad was dying.
465
00:22:05,222 --> 00:22:07,706
We played for almost...
466
00:22:08,392 --> 00:22:10,336
Almost a year.
467
00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:14,340
He was sick, so we would put
the board out on the bed,
468
00:22:14,364 --> 00:22:15,942
and...
469
00:22:15,966 --> 00:22:18,467
And me and my dad and my mom.
470
00:22:19,236 --> 00:22:20,914
We played every weekend.
471
00:22:20,938 --> 00:22:24,150
My dad always won.
472
00:22:24,174 --> 00:22:26,219
Until he started to lose.
473
00:22:26,243 --> 00:22:28,268
When he started to lose...
474
00:22:29,179 --> 00:22:31,524
We had time.
475
00:22:31,548 --> 00:22:32,959
We had time to...
476
00:22:32,983 --> 00:22:35,228
To say goodbye?
But we didn't say goodbye.
477
00:22:35,252 --> 00:22:36,629
We cheated so that he could win
478
00:22:36,653 --> 00:22:37,964
until he couldn't play anymore.
479
00:22:37,988 --> 00:22:39,299
And then my mom and I, we just...
480
00:22:39,323 --> 00:22:41,656
Uh, we put the board away.
481
00:22:42,492 --> 00:22:45,619
But even with... With all that time...
482
00:22:46,730 --> 00:22:49,475
it just... it... It was unimaginable
483
00:22:49,499 --> 00:22:51,411
that he could leave us.
484
00:22:51,435 --> 00:22:54,869
He would never... He would...
He would never leave us.
485
00:22:58,775 --> 00:23:00,720
I always wanted a pet.
486
00:23:00,744 --> 00:23:02,221
You mean after he... He died?
487
00:23:02,245 --> 00:23:03,523
No, when I was young.
488
00:23:03,547 --> 00:23:05,692
I wanted a pet, and my dad said no.
489
00:23:05,716 --> 00:23:07,994
He said, "When you get a pet,
best-case scenario
490
00:23:08,018 --> 00:23:10,930
is that you love that pet
with all your heart
491
00:23:10,954 --> 00:23:15,034
and then it leaves you
'cause, you know, life span.
492
00:23:15,058 --> 00:23:18,259
So for sure a pet means heartbreak."
493
00:23:21,832 --> 00:23:24,510
He just... I... I guess
he just wanted to protect me.
494
00:23:24,534 --> 00:23:26,679
But he wouldn't even let me get a gerbil
495
00:23:26,703 --> 00:23:28,414
because he didn't want me to suffer
496
00:23:28,438 --> 00:23:31,851
and then he just up and dies at age 58.
497
00:23:31,875 --> 00:23:33,886
But at least we got to play Scrabble.
498
00:23:33,910 --> 00:23:36,122
My mom just...
499
00:23:36,146 --> 00:23:37,357
You can't pack up her stuff
500
00:23:37,381 --> 00:23:39,965
because that would mean she died.
501
00:23:40,617 --> 00:23:43,029
And she can't have died
because she was too young.
502
00:23:43,053 --> 00:23:45,732
And she wasn't even sick.
503
00:23:45,756 --> 00:23:50,058
And there wasn't even time
for another game.
504
00:23:51,261 --> 00:23:54,496
Okay, I get it.
505
00:23:55,632 --> 00:23:58,111
But I'm gonna need the keys
to your mom's place.
506
00:23:58,135 --> 00:23:59,545
- Allison...
- Teddy,
507
00:23:59,569 --> 00:24:00,949
I am not letting them throw away
508
00:24:00,973 --> 00:24:02,048
that Scrabble board.
509
00:24:02,072 --> 00:24:04,550
And I'm not letting them
throw away your photo albums.
510
00:24:04,574 --> 00:24:06,252
And I bet your mom wore perfume
511
00:24:06,276 --> 00:24:08,087
and I'm gonna go over there
and I'm gonna find it
512
00:24:08,111 --> 00:24:09,622
and I'm gonna get one of her scarves
513
00:24:09,646 --> 00:24:11,624
because you are in shock right now,
514
00:24:11,648 --> 00:24:13,993
but one day you're gonna want
some of the stuff
515
00:24:14,017 --> 00:24:17,530
that reminds you how loved you were.
516
00:24:17,554 --> 00:24:18,965
You're gonna want some of the stuff
517
00:24:18,989 --> 00:24:21,067
that came from the people
who loved you too much
518
00:24:21,091 --> 00:24:23,236
to let you get a gerbil.
519
00:24:23,260 --> 00:24:25,905
The people who made you you.
520
00:24:25,929 --> 00:24:28,307
Wonderful, wonderful you.
521
00:24:39,142 --> 00:24:40,420
Whoa.
522
00:24:40,444 --> 00:24:42,444
I'm sorry. I'm...
523
00:24:44,114 --> 00:24:47,060
I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry.
524
00:25:09,940 --> 00:25:12,685
I didn't mean to hurt anyone.
525
00:25:14,277 --> 00:25:17,395
Just fell in love with Allison.
526
00:25:17,914 --> 00:25:19,525
So what did you do?
527
00:25:21,151 --> 00:25:22,862
I killed her.
528
00:25:22,886 --> 00:25:24,886
I'll make pancakes.
529
00:25:26,389 --> 00:25:28,923
I'll make pancakes.
530
00:25:30,994 --> 00:25:32,839
Oh.
531
00:25:32,863 --> 00:25:34,740
I have to go to work.
532
00:25:47,344 --> 00:25:48,521
I should have said yes.
533
00:25:48,545 --> 00:25:49,889
Teddy, you couldn't have known.
534
00:25:49,913 --> 00:25:52,625
I wanted to say yes.
535
00:25:52,649 --> 00:25:56,562
I wanted more than anything in the world
536
00:25:56,586 --> 00:25:59,465
but to stay in that room
with her forever.
537
00:25:59,489 --> 00:26:02,565
If I had just said yes...
538
00:26:03,326 --> 00:26:05,276
She'd still be here.
539
00:26:06,196 --> 00:26:07,974
Maybe you'd still be here.
540
00:26:07,998 --> 00:26:09,442
Hey.
541
00:26:09,466 --> 00:26:11,577
I forgive you.
542
00:26:14,371 --> 00:26:15,248
But you are.
543
00:26:15,272 --> 00:26:17,450
You are still here.
544
00:26:17,474 --> 00:26:18,618
But I'm not.
545
00:26:18,642 --> 00:26:20,119
But you are.
546
00:26:20,143 --> 00:26:22,121
Which means...
547
00:26:23,947 --> 00:26:26,492
What if it's not too late?
548
00:26:26,516 --> 00:26:28,528
What if it can change?
549
00:26:34,824 --> 00:26:37,036
It's not too late.
550
00:26:41,164 --> 00:26:43,009
Teddy, are you okay?
551
00:26:44,301 --> 00:26:46,179
You're having a nightmare.
552
00:26:58,648 --> 00:27:00,715
I'll make pancakes.
553
00:27:02,452 --> 00:27:04,096
Okay.
554
00:27:14,262 --> 00:27:16,775
She barely naps
for more than 30 minutes.
555
00:27:16,799 --> 00:27:18,944
I swear she doesn't know me
since she moved in with my mom.
556
00:27:19,585 --> 00:27:21,429
Owen.
557
00:27:21,856 --> 00:27:23,100
You need to forgive Teddy.
558
00:27:23,124 --> 00:27:24,768
So you think that if I tell her
that she's forgiven
559
00:27:24,792 --> 00:27:26,904
it'll bring her out of this?
I mean, I can try but...
560
00:27:26,928 --> 00:27:29,306
No. No. I am not saying you need
go in there and pretend.
561
00:27:29,330 --> 00:27:31,029
I'm saying...
562
00:27:31,666 --> 00:27:34,545
Owen, I-I know that Teddy
hurt you badly,
563
00:27:34,569 --> 00:27:37,047
and nothing about what she did
with Tom is okay.
564
00:27:37,071 --> 00:27:38,716
But...
565
00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:40,718
Owen, she's Teddy.
566
00:27:40,742 --> 00:27:43,487
You have loved her
in some form for decades.
567
00:27:43,511 --> 00:27:44,889
And just the fact that
she was in love with Allison...
568
00:27:44,913 --> 00:27:46,156
It's not the fact
that she was in love with her.
569
00:27:46,180 --> 00:27:47,791
It's the fact that she lied.
570
00:27:47,815 --> 00:27:49,126
Okay? And she lied relentlessly.
571
00:27:49,150 --> 00:27:50,161
For decades.
572
00:27:50,201 --> 00:27:51,362
She said that she's not over her.
573
00:27:51,386 --> 00:27:52,997
So not only did she cheat on me
with Tom Koracick,
574
00:27:53,021 --> 00:27:55,266
she's been in love with someone
else our entire relationship.
575
00:27:55,290 --> 00:27:57,735
It's despicable and she doesn't
deserve my forgiveness.
576
00:27:57,759 --> 00:27:59,637
Despicable? What is wrong with you?
577
00:27:59,661 --> 00:28:00,905
What is wrong with you?
578
00:28:00,929 --> 00:28:02,006
You're taking her side.
579
00:28:02,030 --> 00:28:03,340
You're pissed
because she has a Cristina,
580
00:28:03,364 --> 00:28:05,242
and you don't like it.
Why can't Teddy be
581
00:28:05,266 --> 00:28:07,011
allowed to love more
than one person when you have?
582
00:28:07,035 --> 00:28:08,879
I never lied about having
past relationships, okay?
583
00:28:08,903 --> 00:28:10,781
- She did.
- Ask yourself why, Owen!
584
00:28:10,805 --> 00:28:13,584
She probably had PTSD
from losing the love of her life
585
00:28:13,608 --> 00:28:15,252
in a horrific tragedy.
586
00:28:15,276 --> 00:28:16,453
You of all people
should understand that.
587
00:28:16,477 --> 00:28:17,588
Then why didn't she just tell me that?
588
00:28:17,612 --> 00:28:18,756
Do you walk around telling everyone
589
00:28:18,780 --> 00:28:20,703
about how you strangled Cristina?
590
00:28:23,585 --> 00:28:24,650
Wow.
591
00:28:26,988 --> 00:28:28,666
I think you should leave.
592
00:28:28,690 --> 00:28:32,937
Owen, her trauma response
is different than yours.
593
00:28:32,961 --> 00:28:35,205
You don't get to just casually
throw in my face
594
00:28:35,229 --> 00:28:36,774
the worst thing that I ever did
in my life, okay?
595
00:28:36,798 --> 00:28:38,776
I did not do it casually.
596
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,912
No part of you ever, ever
thought that you were capable
597
00:28:41,936 --> 00:28:44,686
of choking someone
that you loved but you did it.
598
00:28:45,573 --> 00:28:46,684
I was asleep, okay?
599
00:28:46,708 --> 00:28:47,985
I-I had PTSD...
600
00:28:48,009 --> 00:28:49,320
So does she, Owen.
601
00:28:49,344 --> 00:28:51,455
So does she!
602
00:28:51,479 --> 00:28:54,391
Sometimes traumatized people lie.
603
00:28:54,415 --> 00:28:55,593
They lie to you.
604
00:28:55,617 --> 00:28:56,794
They lie to themselves.
605
00:28:56,818 --> 00:28:59,129
That does not mean
that everything is a lie.
606
00:28:59,153 --> 00:29:01,398
When you were hurting,
you hurt other people.
607
00:29:01,422 --> 00:29:03,767
When I was hurting, I hurt other people.
608
00:29:03,791 --> 00:29:07,137
But we both got help. Teddy needs help.
609
00:29:12,333 --> 00:29:14,078
I'll go check on her.
610
00:29:56,277 --> 00:29:59,223
Ugh, why do we even have jobs?
611
00:29:59,247 --> 00:30:00,858
Doing nothing is so much better.
612
00:30:00,882 --> 00:30:02,192
It is.
613
00:30:09,257 --> 00:30:11,356
I want to tell Claire the truth.
614
00:30:12,493 --> 00:30:13,570
She'll hate me.
615
00:30:13,594 --> 00:30:15,406
And I'll hate that.
616
00:30:15,430 --> 00:30:18,409
But she deserves the truth.
617
00:30:18,433 --> 00:30:19,843
I know. I know she does.
618
00:30:19,867 --> 00:30:22,075
I just... I don't want to hurt her.
619
00:30:23,037 --> 00:30:25,787
Life comes with pain though, Teddy.
620
00:30:26,407 --> 00:30:28,018
Life comes with pain.
621
00:30:28,042 --> 00:30:29,520
Not today.
622
00:30:29,544 --> 00:30:31,417
Today doesn't come with pain.
623
00:30:32,413 --> 00:30:33,524
Not for us.
624
00:30:33,548 --> 00:30:35,059
Not this time.
625
00:30:36,918 --> 00:30:38,383
Your dad...
626
00:30:38,886 --> 00:30:40,364
he should've let you have the gerbil.
627
00:30:51,466 --> 00:30:53,077
We've got somewhere to be?
628
00:30:53,101 --> 00:30:55,379
No, no, no, no.
629
00:30:55,403 --> 00:30:58,582
I just... I never want
this moment to end.
630
00:31:07,982 --> 00:31:09,326
Something's going on.
631
00:31:09,350 --> 00:31:12,096
Uh, we-we're okay.
632
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:13,263
No, but something's wrong.
633
00:31:13,287 --> 00:31:14,665
I know, but... but we're okay.
634
00:31:14,689 --> 00:31:15,933
You're with me.
635
00:31:15,957 --> 00:31:17,468
You know what?
636
00:31:17,492 --> 00:31:19,303
You're right. Let's tell Claire.
637
00:31:19,327 --> 00:31:20,537
She deserves to know the truth.
638
00:31:20,561 --> 00:31:21,905
She'll hate me because losing you
639
00:31:21,929 --> 00:31:23,140
is the worst thing in the world.
640
00:31:23,164 --> 00:31:26,276
But she won't hate you.
I promise she won't hate you.
641
00:31:26,300 --> 00:31:27,945
Because, Allison, it's impossible
642
00:31:27,969 --> 00:31:29,780
to do anything but love you.
643
00:31:32,340 --> 00:31:33,584
What do you think?
644
00:31:35,176 --> 00:31:37,054
I smell smoke.
645
00:31:37,078 --> 00:31:39,022
Do you smell smoke?
646
00:31:39,046 --> 00:31:41,158
No, no, no, no, you're with me.
647
00:31:41,182 --> 00:31:42,182
You're safe.
648
00:31:43,451 --> 00:31:44,495
I can't breathe.
649
00:31:48,289 --> 00:31:50,234
Allison, don't leave me.
650
00:31:50,258 --> 00:31:52,102
No, please don't leave me.
651
00:31:52,126 --> 00:31:53,537
Allison.
652
00:31:53,561 --> 00:31:56,974
Don't leave me, Allison.
653
00:31:56,998 --> 00:31:58,575
Come on!
654
00:31:58,599 --> 00:31:59,810
Come on, Allison.
655
00:32:01,035 --> 00:32:02,179
Please don't leave me, Allison!
656
00:32:02,203 --> 00:32:03,447
Clear!
657
00:32:05,239 --> 00:32:06,717
Charge to 200. Clear!
658
00:32:08,609 --> 00:32:10,254
300! Clear!
659
00:32:13,915 --> 00:32:15,959
Teddy, I'm sorry.
660
00:32:15,983 --> 00:32:17,416
This is over.
661
00:32:21,889 --> 00:32:23,901
Time of death,
662
00:32:23,925 --> 00:32:26,303
September 11, 2001,
663
00:32:26,327 --> 00:32:28,105
9:59 a.m.
664
00:32:43,396 --> 00:32:44,775
It's all my fault.
665
00:32:44,799 --> 00:32:47,744
It's all my fault.
666
00:33:44,289 --> 00:33:46,267
I just got her back down.
667
00:33:46,330 --> 00:33:48,375
I think she knows there's
something going on with her mom,
668
00:33:48,435 --> 00:33:51,113
so she's just off.
669
00:33:51,137 --> 00:33:52,381
Yeah.
670
00:33:52,405 --> 00:33:53,382
I know you want me to leave.
671
00:33:53,406 --> 00:33:55,785
But I am here because I love you
672
00:33:55,809 --> 00:33:57,457
and I want to help you.
673
00:33:58,311 --> 00:33:59,789
You know, it almost would've been easier
674
00:33:59,813 --> 00:34:01,457
if she'd just run away with Koracick.
675
00:34:01,481 --> 00:34:03,047
You know?
676
00:34:04,784 --> 00:34:05,928
You ever think about doing that?
677
00:34:05,952 --> 00:34:10,232
Just getting in the car
and driving away?
678
00:34:10,256 --> 00:34:13,469
A feeling of being free
from all responsibilities,
679
00:34:13,493 --> 00:34:15,171
even just for a second...
680
00:34:15,195 --> 00:34:18,374
no kids, no messy relationships,
681
00:34:18,398 --> 00:34:20,643
no dying patients...
682
00:34:20,667 --> 00:34:21,911
If you'd have asked me that
six months ago,
683
00:34:21,935 --> 00:34:23,913
I would have said no, but now...
684
00:34:23,937 --> 00:34:25,401
of course I do.
685
00:34:26,940 --> 00:34:28,784
I don't know how to describe it.
686
00:34:28,808 --> 00:34:30,419
It's like...
687
00:34:30,443 --> 00:34:32,621
It's like there's this...
688
00:34:32,645 --> 00:34:33,823
blanket on top of me.
689
00:34:33,847 --> 00:34:38,461
Like a wet, heavy blanket
of just... fatigue.
690
00:34:38,485 --> 00:34:39,543
Defense.
691
00:34:39,567 --> 00:34:40,896
What?
692
00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:42,498
When I get that blanket feeling?
693
00:34:42,522 --> 00:34:45,267
It's because I'm defending
694
00:34:45,291 --> 00:34:49,675
against having
to feel anger, rage, hurt.
695
00:34:50,930 --> 00:34:52,512
She hurt you.
696
00:34:53,266 --> 00:34:55,010
You're hurt.
697
00:34:56,436 --> 00:34:59,303
Well, it's easier to just feel numb.
698
00:35:00,707 --> 00:35:02,551
You don't have to go back to her.
699
00:35:02,575 --> 00:35:07,356
But you cannot afford to spend
every day hating her.
700
00:35:07,380 --> 00:35:09,058
It's too hard.
701
00:35:09,082 --> 00:35:11,393
That blanket will never lift.
702
00:35:14,487 --> 00:35:16,654
I don't know. W-What do I do?
703
00:35:18,825 --> 00:35:22,004
In NA, we pray for the people we resent.
704
00:35:22,028 --> 00:35:23,339
It's the worst.
705
00:35:23,363 --> 00:35:25,920
I always hate it.
706
00:35:26,866 --> 00:35:30,546
We pray for them to get well.
707
00:35:30,570 --> 00:35:33,349
Uh, for them to find happiness,
708
00:35:33,373 --> 00:35:36,652
get all of the things that
we would want for ourselves.
709
00:35:36,676 --> 00:35:40,322
And we do it every day, for weeks.
710
00:35:40,346 --> 00:35:44,426
And I don't know why it works
but it does.
711
00:35:44,450 --> 00:35:47,029
The resentment lifts
and forgiveness sets in.
712
00:35:47,053 --> 00:35:48,164
Then you coparent.
713
00:35:48,188 --> 00:35:51,233
And maybe eventually...
714
00:35:51,257 --> 00:35:52,768
something can be rebuilt.
715
00:35:54,727 --> 00:35:56,672
I don't think I can do that.
716
00:35:57,830 --> 00:35:59,742
You can do it.
717
00:35:59,766 --> 00:36:01,497
You've done it before.
718
00:36:02,368 --> 00:36:04,113
You did it with me.
719
00:36:11,377 --> 00:36:13,022
It's all my fault.
720
00:36:13,046 --> 00:36:14,590
All of this is your fault?
721
00:36:14,614 --> 00:36:17,193
Yes! My parents, Allison,
Henry, DeLuca...
722
00:36:17,217 --> 00:36:19,328
Don't say me. I'm still here.
723
00:36:19,352 --> 00:36:21,330
I couldn't save them. I
should have saved them!
724
00:36:21,354 --> 00:36:24,767
No. Even I know that
they couldn't be saved.
725
00:36:24,791 --> 00:36:26,669
I don't know
what happened with your parents,
726
00:36:26,693 --> 00:36:29,405
but Allison and DeLuca
were tragic casualties
727
00:36:29,429 --> 00:36:32,308
of circumstances
you had no power to control.
728
00:36:32,332 --> 00:36:34,343
And Henry... Henry was already dying
729
00:36:34,367 --> 00:36:36,378
- when you married him.
- I love Owen.
730
00:36:36,402 --> 00:36:37,546
You run from pain.
731
00:36:37,570 --> 00:36:40,482
Your parents died
and you ran to Allison.
732
00:36:40,506 --> 00:36:44,153
Allison died, and you joined
the Army and ran to Owen.
733
00:36:44,177 --> 00:36:48,090
Owen chose Cristina,
you dove into Henry.
734
00:36:48,114 --> 00:36:49,358
This isn't fair.
735
00:36:49,382 --> 00:36:52,261
And then Owen is with Amelia,
and you used Koracick.
736
00:36:52,285 --> 00:36:54,263
Please stop. Stop it.
737
00:36:54,287 --> 00:36:55,419
You run from pain, Teddy.
738
00:36:55,477 --> 00:36:56,565
- Stop it.
- We all do it.
739
00:36:56,589 --> 00:36:58,801
Something terrible happens,
740
00:36:58,825 --> 00:37:00,703
we blame ourselves
and we don't want to feel it
741
00:37:00,727 --> 00:37:02,266
so we run.
742
00:37:02,829 --> 00:37:04,607
We run from joy too because we think
743
00:37:04,631 --> 00:37:06,175
we don't deserve happiness.
744
00:37:06,199 --> 00:37:07,843
But it's a package deal.
745
00:37:07,867 --> 00:37:09,745
There is no joy without pain.
746
00:37:12,472 --> 00:37:14,950
Come on, Teddy. Let's leave this place.
747
00:37:16,209 --> 00:37:17,987
Please don't die.
748
00:37:18,011 --> 00:37:19,700
I'll do my best.
749
00:37:33,326 --> 00:37:35,237
There's a problem
with trying to understand
750
00:37:35,261 --> 00:37:37,439
every mistake you've made...
751
00:37:37,463 --> 00:37:38,907
you can't.
752
00:37:42,235 --> 00:37:44,079
And trying to robs you
753
00:37:44,103 --> 00:37:47,449
of your life, your plans, your future.
754
00:37:50,710 --> 00:37:53,055
Plus, you can't really learn
from your mistakes
755
00:37:53,079 --> 00:37:54,456
if you stop moving forward.
756
00:37:59,252 --> 00:38:01,797
You sure you don't want me to stay?
757
00:38:01,821 --> 00:38:03,432
Probably a stupid question.
758
00:38:03,456 --> 00:38:05,028
Just call me if you need me.
759
00:38:05,063 --> 00:38:06,135
Yeah.
760
00:38:06,159 --> 00:38:07,703
Hey, thank you.
761
00:38:07,727 --> 00:38:09,672
For everything. I mean it.
762
00:38:09,696 --> 00:38:11,127
I know you do.
763
00:38:11,664 --> 00:38:13,509
Oh, and especially thank you
for helping with that bed.
764
00:38:13,533 --> 00:38:15,444
I'm gonna share credit with Leo.
765
00:38:15,468 --> 00:38:17,012
Alright, just don't break it
if you get mad.
766
00:38:17,036 --> 00:38:19,581
I'm not gonna... Okay, yeah.
767
00:38:19,605 --> 00:38:20,949
Bye.
768
00:38:25,345 --> 00:38:27,222
It's scary. It's uncertain.
769
00:38:28,614 --> 00:38:30,993
But you'll find something
pretty special there...
770
00:38:31,017 --> 00:38:33,862
Shh. Shh.
771
00:38:35,488 --> 00:38:36,902
I'm here.
772
00:38:38,157 --> 00:38:39,739
I'm here.
773
00:38:52,171 --> 00:38:53,982
I'm here.
774
00:38:55,141 --> 00:38:56,118
...hope.
52011
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