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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,038 --> 00:00:19,158 ♪ Taxi driver ♪ 2 00:00:19,242 --> 00:00:21,658 ♪ Be my shrink for the hour ♪ 3 00:00:21,742 --> 00:00:24,033 ♪ Leave the meter running ♪ 4 00:00:27,283 --> 00:00:30,075 ♪ It's rush hour ♪ 5 00:00:30,158 --> 00:00:32,450 ♪ So take the streets if you wanna ♪ 6 00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:36,825 ♪ Just outrun the demons, could you? ♪ 7 00:00:36,908 --> 00:00:40,325 ♪ He said, "Allahu akbar" ♪ 8 00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:43,867 ♪ I told him, "Don't curse me" ♪ 9 00:00:43,950 --> 00:00:45,992 ♪ "Bo Bo, you need prayer" ♪ 10 00:00:46,075 --> 00:00:49,950 ♪ I guess it couldn't hurt me ♪ 11 00:00:50,033 --> 00:00:57,117 ♪ If it brings me to my knees, it's a bad religion ♪ 12 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,075 Morning. 13 00:00:59,158 --> 00:01:01,117 I went ahead and let Mrs. Takahashi know 14 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:02,950 that she'll be your new counselor. 15 00:01:03,033 --> 00:01:04,242 You should go and see her today. 16 00:01:04,325 --> 00:01:06,408 There's a suspension form to sign. 17 00:01:06,492 --> 00:01:09,783 And I want to have... I want you to have someone to talk to. 18 00:01:13,117 --> 00:01:15,783 I think this makes the most sense. 19 00:01:17,908 --> 00:01:20,617 A form of indentured servitude 20 00:01:20,700 --> 00:01:23,992 that was developed as a condition of debt bondage, 21 00:01:24,075 --> 00:01:27,325 and serfs could be bought and sold and traded, 22 00:01:27,408 --> 00:01:29,158 so there were some similarities 23 00:01:29,242 --> 00:01:31,325 to slavery, but there was usually... 24 00:01:31,408 --> 00:01:33,450 ♪ She on that sip of Henny, she from that nitty-gritty ♪ 25 00:01:33,533 --> 00:01:34,937 - Hi. - ♪ She 'bout to glow up ♪ 26 00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:36,032 ♪ Hit the club looking pretty ♪ 27 00:01:36,033 --> 00:01:38,283 ♪ She on that sip of lean, she got that tip from me ♪ 28 00:01:38,367 --> 00:01:39,492 You okay? 29 00:01:39,575 --> 00:01:40,825 All good. 30 00:01:40,908 --> 00:01:43,033 Okay, 'cuz you seem, like... 31 00:01:43,117 --> 00:01:45,075 Where's Magic Mike? 32 00:01:45,158 --> 00:01:46,575 Is that what people call me? 33 00:01:46,658 --> 00:01:48,992 No. No one calls you that. 34 00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:52,325 Um... A lot of... A lot of shit went down, 35 00:01:52,408 --> 00:01:54,492 and I can't really tell anyone else. 36 00:01:54,575 --> 00:01:55,908 I need to talk to you about it. 37 00:01:55,992 --> 00:01:59,658 Yeah, I'm kinda sick of being all Mary Poppins, 38 00:01:59,742 --> 00:02:02,450 like, save the world for everyone, you know? 39 00:02:02,533 --> 00:02:06,200 Like, it's not my job. 40 00:02:06,283 --> 00:02:09,033 Yeah. Um... 41 00:02:09,117 --> 00:02:11,575 But we're just worried about you. 42 00:02:11,658 --> 00:02:14,283 And you're not responding to anyone's texts, 43 00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:16,200 and no one knows why you pulled the fire alarm. 44 00:02:16,283 --> 00:02:18,617 I told you, it was a joke. 45 00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:21,283 Okay. 46 00:02:21,367 --> 00:02:23,158 For real? 47 00:02:40,450 --> 00:02:41,658 Oh, shit. 48 00:02:41,742 --> 00:02:43,658 You scared me. 49 00:02:43,742 --> 00:02:45,783 You gonna be here for a while? 50 00:02:45,867 --> 00:02:46,867 Um... 51 00:02:46,950 --> 00:02:48,742 I have next period free. 52 00:02:51,492 --> 00:02:54,158 You... You don't normally look like this. 53 00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:55,825 Yeah, I'm not in a real chatty, 54 00:02:55,908 --> 00:02:58,158 how ya' doin' kinda mood right now. 55 00:02:58,242 --> 00:03:00,075 I-I can tell. 56 00:03:00,158 --> 00:03:02,408 It's good how you speak your mind and all. 57 00:03:02,492 --> 00:03:04,283 - Who are you? - I'm Bo. 58 00:03:04,367 --> 00:03:06,158 Sorry. Uh, I'm intimidated, 59 00:03:06,242 --> 00:03:09,033 and... and when I'm intimidated, I always say the wrong thing. 60 00:03:09,117 --> 00:03:11,158 Like, once, I asked my freshman crush 61 00:03:11,242 --> 00:03:13,075 what it felt like having divorced parents. 62 00:03:13,158 --> 00:03:15,033 And that was me trying to flirt. 63 00:03:15,117 --> 00:03:16,575 I intimidate you? 64 00:03:16,658 --> 00:03:19,325 You intimidate everyone. 65 00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:21,033 No, I know. 66 00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:23,242 How come I've never seen you before? 67 00:03:23,325 --> 00:03:25,783 We've had three classes together. 68 00:03:25,867 --> 00:03:28,658 Really? 69 00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,492 Sorry. 70 00:03:35,533 --> 00:03:36,742 So... 71 00:03:36,825 --> 00:03:39,200 What happened with your freshman crush? 72 00:03:39,283 --> 00:03:41,117 Oh, he... he was straight. 73 00:03:44,533 --> 00:03:47,950 "A person is a whole person when they are good sometimes 74 00:03:48,033 --> 00:03:51,658 but not always, and loved regardle." 75 00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:55,867 "Ss." 76 00:03:57,950 --> 00:03:59,617 They only suspended me for four days, 77 00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:01,950 but it was a shitty four days. 78 00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:07,075 And I can't miss any more school, so I'm back. 79 00:04:07,158 --> 00:04:10,075 But, like, barely. 80 00:04:10,158 --> 00:04:11,825 Why did you pull the fire alarm? 81 00:04:11,908 --> 00:04:15,617 'Cuz I was loving too much and in all the wrong places, 82 00:04:15,700 --> 00:04:18,075 and... 83 00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:21,236 that's just, like, the nature of my personality, you know? 84 00:04:21,337 --> 00:04:23,450 Yeah. 85 00:04:23,533 --> 00:04:25,158 Actually, no. 86 00:04:25,242 --> 00:04:26,617 All of my knowledge of love 87 00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:30,471 is drawn from things you'd definitely judge me for. 88 00:04:30,565 --> 00:04:32,200 Like what? 89 00:04:32,283 --> 00:04:35,825 Do you know Anju and Kafei from Legend of Zelda? 90 00:04:35,908 --> 00:04:37,783 Yeah, you're right. 91 00:04:37,867 --> 00:04:39,825 Also, I think of everyone's personalities 92 00:04:39,908 --> 00:04:41,742 as Dungeons & Dragons alignments. 93 00:04:41,824 --> 00:04:43,616 That's, like, the... like, the... 94 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:46,033 good, evil, neutral, whatever? 95 00:04:46,117 --> 00:04:49,075 - Yeah. - Which one am I? 96 00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:51,117 Chaotic good. 97 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,033 I think. 98 00:04:53,117 --> 00:04:55,200 What about you? 99 00:04:55,283 --> 00:04:57,075 Neutral good. 100 00:04:57,158 --> 00:04:58,450 Is that bad? 101 00:04:58,533 --> 00:05:00,700 Do you want to be neutral? 102 00:05:00,783 --> 00:05:05,742 I mean, like, right now in this moment? 103 00:05:09,175 --> 00:05:11,217 I got class. 104 00:05:14,925 --> 00:05:18,717 Wait. I don't really get Dungeons & Dragons. 105 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:20,383 It's not surprising. 106 00:05:20,467 --> 00:05:22,592 You saying I'm a judge-y bitch? 107 00:05:22,675 --> 00:05:25,092 Yes. 108 00:05:25,175 --> 00:05:27,175 But, I mean, right? 109 00:05:27,258 --> 00:05:29,758 I don't play much anymore, but I love 110 00:05:29,842 --> 00:05:32,717 that you can be a halfling druid with a 5 strength, 111 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:37,925 but roll a 20 and, boom, you killed an ogre. 112 00:05:38,008 --> 00:05:41,092 I don't know... I find randomness kind of... 113 00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:44,425 hopeful? 114 00:06:02,592 --> 00:06:06,842 ♪ And I was saving your place ♪ 115 00:06:06,925 --> 00:06:09,758 ♪ Cause you're always worth it ♪ 116 00:06:09,842 --> 00:06:12,258 ♪ But you're always working ♪ 117 00:06:12,342 --> 00:06:14,508 Yo. What's up? 118 00:06:14,592 --> 00:06:17,008 Yo, where's the crop top at? 119 00:06:17,092 --> 00:06:18,800 Yeah, no sparkle today? 120 00:06:18,883 --> 00:06:21,883 Yo, are they bothering you? 121 00:06:21,967 --> 00:06:23,217 No, I'm good. 122 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:28,842 No, we're just... we're just like, "Where's Chester?" 123 00:06:28,925 --> 00:06:30,800 Hey, are you sure you're okay, man? 124 00:06:30,883 --> 00:06:33,550 Just waiting on some Cheetos. 125 00:06:33,633 --> 00:06:35,883 - What's up with him? - Just waiting on some Cheetos. 126 00:06:37,874 --> 00:06:39,416 Is he off his game? 127 00:06:39,508 --> 00:06:40,842 He looks weird. 128 00:06:40,925 --> 00:06:43,967 Yo, I can hear you. 129 00:06:44,050 --> 00:06:45,967 Yo, watch this. 130 00:06:46,050 --> 00:06:48,883 Hey, it's International Chester Day. 131 00:06:48,967 --> 00:06:50,092 Yeah, hey. 132 00:06:50,175 --> 00:06:51,175 Shirts off, everybody. 133 00:06:51,258 --> 00:06:52,633 Come on. Shirts off for Chester. 134 00:06:52,718 --> 00:06:54,425 - Shirts off for Chester. - Come on. 135 00:06:54,508 --> 00:06:55,925 Come on. For Chester. Come on. 136 00:06:56,008 --> 00:06:57,467 Shirts off for Chester. 137 00:06:57,550 --> 00:06:59,592 Yeah, all right. 138 00:06:59,675 --> 00:07:02,300 Tits out! Come on! Let me see those tits! 139 00:07:02,383 --> 00:07:04,217 Can I get some Cheetos? 140 00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:06,258 Shirts off for Chester! 141 00:07:06,342 --> 00:07:07,842 Come on, turn this shit up! 142 00:07:07,925 --> 00:07:10,550 - Nipples out, boys! - Come on, let's do it. 143 00:07:10,633 --> 00:07:12,633 - Whoo! - Don't be a pussy, come on! 144 00:07:12,717 --> 00:07:13,842 Shirts off! 145 00:07:16,842 --> 00:07:19,675 Yeah, come on! Get those tits out! 146 00:07:19,758 --> 00:07:21,092 - Tits out! - Tits out for Chester! 147 00:07:21,175 --> 00:07:22,508 So problematic! 148 00:07:22,592 --> 00:07:25,258 Chester doesn't even like tits. 149 00:07:25,342 --> 00:07:28,550 Damn, you right. 150 00:07:28,633 --> 00:07:30,175 Dicks out for Chester! 151 00:07:30,258 --> 00:07:32,092 - Dicks out for Chester! - Dicks out for Chester! 152 00:07:32,175 --> 00:07:33,675 No! Worse! 153 00:07:33,758 --> 00:07:36,883 Dicks out for Chester! Dicks out for Chester! 154 00:07:41,508 --> 00:07:42,675 Oh, my God. 155 00:07:42,758 --> 00:07:44,467 - That's hilarious. - We can be a little gay. 156 00:07:44,550 --> 00:07:47,133 It's not gay! It's not gay! 157 00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:48,342 - Come on! - Come on! 158 00:07:48,425 --> 00:07:49,550 Chester! 159 00:07:53,425 --> 00:07:55,425 Come on, let's go! Let's go! 160 00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:57,050 - Come on! Come on! - Let's go! Come on! 161 00:08:14,758 --> 00:08:21,967 ♪ You make me feel mighty real ♪ 162 00:08:22,050 --> 00:08:28,800 ♪ You make me feel mighty real ♪ 163 00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:32,425 ♪ When we get home, darlin', and it's nice and dark ♪ 164 00:08:32,508 --> 00:08:34,842 ♪ And the music's in Vienna ♪ 165 00:08:34,925 --> 00:08:38,592 ♪ Still you're hot and you kiss me back and it ♪ 166 00:08:38,675 --> 00:08:42,383 ♪ Feels real good and I know you love me ♪ 167 00:08:42,467 --> 00:08:45,550 ♪ Like you should ♪ 168 00:08:45,633 --> 00:08:46,967 Yeah! 169 00:08:50,717 --> 00:08:54,467 ♪ Oh you make me feel ♪ 170 00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:54,060 No. Do not. Please do not do that. 171 00:09:54,117 --> 00:09:55,825 But, I mean, wasn't that the whole thing with today? 172 00:09:55,908 --> 00:09:59,117 - Like, to just go out and... and do it. - No, no... 173 00:09:59,207 --> 00:10:01,082 Yeah, but not in the way you're thinking. 174 00:10:01,158 --> 00:10:03,200 But, I mean... When you dared us to kiss, 175 00:10:03,283 --> 00:10:05,033 Chester was the first person to say yes. 176 00:10:05,117 --> 00:10:06,742 He wanted to kiss me. You saw. 177 00:10:06,825 --> 00:10:08,117 He was into it. 178 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,658 Mm, I don't know, actually. 179 00:10:10,742 --> 00:10:12,367 I do. I was kissing him. 180 00:10:12,450 --> 00:10:13,700 Yeah, I-I don't want to tell you 181 00:10:13,783 --> 00:10:15,575 not to put yourself out there, okay? 182 00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:19,325 I just don't think you should, in any way, do 183 00:10:19,408 --> 00:10:21,367 - what you're thinking of doing. - I should just call him. 184 00:10:21,450 --> 00:10:23,283 - Wait. - No, seriously. 185 00:10:23,308 --> 00:10:24,996 He likes it when there's just zero bullshit, you know? 186 00:10:25,028 --> 00:10:26,658 Hello? 187 00:10:26,684 --> 00:10:28,617 Wait, I think I got his voicemail. 188 00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:30,700 Hi, it's... it's me, Nathan. 189 00:10:30,783 --> 00:10:32,700 That was insane today. 190 00:10:32,783 --> 00:10:36,033 Like, just so awesome and... and... 191 00:10:37,950 --> 00:10:41,325 Awesome. Um... 192 00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:43,033 Anyway, I-I-I texted you a couple times 193 00:10:43,117 --> 00:10:45,950 while you were suspended, just to, like, you know, 194 00:10:46,033 --> 00:10:48,158 see how you were doing... 195 00:10:48,242 --> 00:10:50,617 Not like you should have texted me back or anything, 196 00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:53,242 it's just... 197 00:10:53,325 --> 00:10:55,700 Um... What happened on the trip 198 00:10:55,783 --> 00:10:59,908 with... with the kiss and everything, um... 199 00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:02,992 Just so you know, I'm not with Arianna anymore. 200 00:11:03,075 --> 00:11:04,450 Um... 201 00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:08,742 Okay, so, award for most rambling message ever, 202 00:11:08,825 --> 00:11:10,825 but, like... 203 00:11:10,908 --> 00:11:12,908 You know, I... 204 00:11:12,992 --> 00:11:16,158 I-I think you're really cool and, like, seriously, 205 00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:18,700 I mean, who would not want to fuck their clone 206 00:11:18,783 --> 00:11:20,408 if their clone was you, right? 207 00:11:20,492 --> 00:11:21,575 I-I mean... 208 00:11:21,658 --> 00:11:25,742 I would want to fuck myself if I was you. 209 00:11:25,825 --> 00:11:27,742 Meaning, that, like... 210 00:11:27,825 --> 00:11:30,825 I would want to fuck myself if myself was you. 211 00:11:30,908 --> 00:11:33,617 - Please hang up. Please. - I hope that doesn't sound creepy. 212 00:11:33,700 --> 00:11:36,492 Um, Google how to delete a message you're leaving. 213 00:11:36,575 --> 00:11:38,408 Um... Okay. 214 00:11:38,492 --> 00:11:42,700 Um... I-I guess what I'm really trying to say 215 00:11:42,783 --> 00:11:46,283 is that, like, I-I know that, like, 216 00:11:46,367 --> 00:11:49,742 on some level, you're up there, and I'm down here, 217 00:11:49,825 --> 00:11:52,658 and t-there is every reason in the world 218 00:11:52,742 --> 00:11:55,992 that we would not work out, but... but... 219 00:11:56,075 --> 00:11:59,242 sometimes opposites attract, right? 220 00:11:59,325 --> 00:12:01,075 So... 221 00:12:04,117 --> 00:12:05,825 Um... 222 00:12:07,825 --> 00:12:11,367 I-I I don't really know what else to say, 223 00:12:11,450 --> 00:12:13,200 except that, like... 224 00:12:15,242 --> 00:12:18,575 I know that you were probably hurting this week, 225 00:12:18,658 --> 00:12:23,950 and... and I would have given... anything 226 00:12:24,033 --> 00:12:27,617 just to come over and make you feel better. 227 00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:30,450 Like... I-I don't know if you remember, 228 00:12:30,533 --> 00:12:31,992 but when we first met at Riley's party, 229 00:12:32,075 --> 00:12:35,075 you put your arm around me, and... and it was... 230 00:12:38,450 --> 00:12:41,033 It was everything. 231 00:12:41,117 --> 00:12:42,825 Um... 232 00:12:44,950 --> 00:12:46,492 Okay. Um... 233 00:12:46,575 --> 00:12:48,700 Crazy, psycho crying happening now, 234 00:12:48,783 --> 00:12:51,283 but... but... but, um... 235 00:12:51,367 --> 00:12:53,825 It's just that... 236 00:12:53,908 --> 00:12:57,575 sometimes, I-I want to put my arm around you, too, 237 00:12:57,658 --> 00:12:59,492 and... and make you feel that way, 238 00:12:59,575 --> 00:13:01,700 like... like how I feel about you, 239 00:13:01,783 --> 00:13:04,492 because I-I don't want to use the word love but... 240 00:13:12,075 --> 00:13:14,867 Ugh! You've got to be fucking kidding! 241 00:13:14,950 --> 00:13:16,408 It's gone. 242 00:13:16,492 --> 00:13:18,158 Tittyfuck cuntnugget. 243 00:13:18,242 --> 00:13:20,533 Can you guys go to Gardenwalk after school? 244 00:13:20,617 --> 00:13:22,200 As long as I'm home by 8:00. 245 00:13:22,283 --> 00:13:24,492 My dads have a standing Friday sex date, 246 00:13:24,575 --> 00:13:26,200 and I have to put their Passion pen back 247 00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:27,658 before they know I took it. 248 00:13:27,742 --> 00:13:28,950 Yeah, I want to. 249 00:13:29,033 --> 00:13:31,158 It's just, ugh, malls. 250 00:13:31,242 --> 00:13:35,283 A.C. and capitalism. You know? 251 00:13:35,367 --> 00:13:38,492 But, I mean... Potato Corner! 252 00:13:41,158 --> 00:13:42,658 Wait! Go that way, go that way! 253 00:13:42,742 --> 00:13:45,533 ♪ Been a long time since I felt this attract... ♪ 254 00:13:45,609 --> 00:13:47,525 Turn, turn, turn! 255 00:13:47,617 --> 00:13:49,158 Be careful! 256 00:13:49,242 --> 00:13:50,367 Jesus! Watch it! 257 00:13:50,450 --> 00:13:51,992 Can I just say I hate kids? 258 00:13:52,075 --> 00:13:54,242 They just scream and take things from you. 259 00:13:54,325 --> 00:13:56,492 Oh, I have massive hunger pains. 260 00:13:56,575 --> 00:13:59,533 Fuck, Hot Dog on a Stick sounds so good right now! 261 00:13:59,617 --> 00:14:01,242 But meat? No, I cant. 262 00:14:01,325 --> 00:14:02,783 - What? No! - Just do it! You're with us. 263 00:14:02,867 --> 00:14:04,117 No one has to know. 264 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:05,450 I want it so bad. 265 00:14:05,533 --> 00:14:07,242 No. No meat. I can't. 266 00:14:07,325 --> 00:14:08,908 Taste this strip. 267 00:14:08,992 --> 00:14:10,992 - Oh, it's so good. - So good. 268 00:14:11,075 --> 00:14:13,242 Oh, my God. 269 00:14:13,325 --> 00:14:15,117 I want to do that! 270 00:14:17,533 --> 00:14:18,992 I need to get off! 271 00:14:19,075 --> 00:14:20,408 I have the worst stomachache! 272 00:14:20,492 --> 00:14:22,950 No, just stay on! My phone was out of storage, 273 00:14:23,033 --> 00:14:24,617 but it just uploaded to the thingy, 274 00:14:24,700 --> 00:14:26,158 so now I can film you... 275 00:14:26,242 --> 00:14:27,700 Oh, man. My dads are here! 276 00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:29,950 - No! - Yes! I love you! 277 00:14:30,033 --> 00:14:31,533 I love you the most! 278 00:14:31,617 --> 00:14:32,783 Bye-bye. 279 00:14:32,867 --> 00:14:34,367 Ooh. 280 00:14:34,450 --> 00:14:36,658 It's probably just cramps, but I have to go to the bathroom. 281 00:14:36,742 --> 00:14:39,283 - I'll meet you at Sephora. - No, please come with me. 282 00:14:39,367 --> 00:14:41,200 Please. 283 00:14:41,283 --> 00:14:42,825 Ooh! Fuck this cramp! 284 00:14:42,908 --> 00:14:44,783 Ow! Ow! 285 00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:53,617 Are you okay? 286 00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:55,658 I'm in so much fucking pain! 287 00:14:55,742 --> 00:14:57,742 Sephora's closing. 288 00:15:00,325 --> 00:15:01,950 Dude, the service in here sucks. 289 00:15:02,033 --> 00:15:05,658 I'm being raped by pop-up ads. 290 00:15:12,867 --> 00:15:14,242 Shit! 291 00:15:14,325 --> 00:15:16,700 - I love you! - It's coming out! 292 00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:17,825 - Holy fuck. - Hi. 293 00:15:17,908 --> 00:15:19,325 Hi. 294 00:15:19,350 --> 00:15:20,325 Fuck you! 295 00:15:20,408 --> 00:15:21,783 You ready? 296 00:15:21,867 --> 00:15:23,825 Okay, so, yes, you can safely surrender a baby 297 00:15:23,908 --> 00:15:25,950 72 hours after it's born. 298 00:15:26,033 --> 00:15:28,658 Hand the baby over, no questions asked, that's it? 299 00:15:28,742 --> 00:15:30,908 It's... They literally cannot ask you any questions. 300 00:15:30,992 --> 00:15:33,158 God, fuck. Why can't there be that law for my parents? 301 00:15:33,242 --> 00:15:36,075 Hey. And yes, you have 14 days to change your mind. 302 00:15:36,158 --> 00:15:37,658 No, no, no, no, no, baby. 303 00:15:37,742 --> 00:15:39,658 Don't worry. I'm not changing my mind. 304 00:15:39,742 --> 00:15:42,658 - Me, neither. - No, J and I talked about this. 305 00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:45,492 You need to go to someone who wants to take care of you. 306 00:15:45,575 --> 00:15:47,950 God, this no questions asked thing is genius. 307 00:15:48,033 --> 00:15:50,742 You could do it at a hospital, a police station... 308 00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:52,617 - Fuck the police. - ...or fire station. 309 00:15:52,700 --> 00:15:55,367 Seriously? The first time I achieved orgasm 310 00:15:55,450 --> 00:15:58,492 was to an Australian Firefighters calendar. 311 00:15:58,575 --> 00:16:00,325 Over there. 312 00:16:02,367 --> 00:16:04,825 Oh, God. I'm literally sweating right now. 313 00:16:13,283 --> 00:16:15,825 Oh, y'all look crusty. 314 00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:18,533 Hi, tiny human. 315 00:16:18,617 --> 00:16:20,200 This was mine. 316 00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:24,658 My Nonna never throws anything away, and we glad for it now. 317 00:16:24,742 --> 00:16:27,325 Sorry you had to be born. 318 00:16:27,408 --> 00:16:28,408 Oh. 319 00:16:28,492 --> 00:16:30,075 But, hey, look at all of us, 320 00:16:30,158 --> 00:16:32,200 you know? We didn't ask to be born, either, 321 00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:35,283 and we're making it work. 322 00:16:35,367 --> 00:16:38,658 There you go. 323 00:16:38,742 --> 00:16:40,383 - We're going to a firehouse. - Yes. 324 00:16:40,408 --> 00:16:43,575 I just need to get something from my house first. 325 00:16:46,577 --> 00:16:47,743 Hi. 326 00:16:47,859 --> 00:16:49,567 Hi! 327 00:17:09,450 --> 00:17:13,033 ♪ I don't really care if you like me or not ♪ 328 00:17:13,117 --> 00:17:16,408 ♪ But I know that you want me to ♪ 329 00:17:16,492 --> 00:17:19,783 ♪ Oh, anythin' I do, I know you're gonna watch ♪ 330 00:17:19,867 --> 00:17:23,283 ♪ To rumor up that I'm a fool ♪ 331 00:17:23,367 --> 00:17:26,783 ♪ You and all your friends have to walk in a squad ♪ 332 00:17:26,867 --> 00:17:30,158 ♪ 'Cause y'all are so insecure ♪ 333 00:17:30,242 --> 00:17:33,742 ♪ Oh, overcompensate 'cause you're sizing me up ♪ 334 00:17:33,825 --> 00:17:38,783 ♪ The oldest trick in the book ♪ 335 00:17:38,867 --> 00:17:40,867 Did you get my voicemail? 336 00:17:40,950 --> 00:17:42,867 Huh? 337 00:17:42,950 --> 00:17:45,533 D-did... Did you get my voicemail? 338 00:17:45,617 --> 00:17:46,950 No. 339 00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:51,533 ♪ There's nothing you could say ♪ 340 00:17:51,617 --> 00:17:53,033 Oh, wait, no. Yeah, I did. 341 00:17:53,117 --> 00:17:54,200 I'll listen to it later. 342 00:17:54,283 --> 00:17:55,742 Oh, no, no, i-i-i-it's fine. 343 00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:59,075 You can just... you can just delete it. 344 00:17:59,158 --> 00:18:00,283 Oh, honey. 345 00:18:00,367 --> 00:18:03,950 Now I am definitely listening to it. 346 00:18:05,742 --> 00:18:08,617 ♪ 'Cause I know what you really want ♪ 347 00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:12,825 ♪ A little more confidence, mm-hmm ♪ 348 00:18:12,908 --> 00:18:15,283 ♪ This is where it's gotta stop ♪ 349 00:18:15,367 --> 00:18:17,408 ♪ I'm tired of hearin' it ♪ 350 00:18:17,492 --> 00:18:19,033 I'll be really quick. 351 00:18:58,283 --> 00:19:00,367 Oh, my God. 352 00:19:00,450 --> 00:19:02,950 - Shhh. - No, it's okay. 353 00:19:03,033 --> 00:19:04,200 It's okay. 354 00:19:04,283 --> 00:19:05,492 It's okay. It's okay. 355 00:19:05,575 --> 00:19:08,825 Shh. Shh. 356 00:19:08,908 --> 00:19:10,325 I got it. I got it. 357 00:19:10,408 --> 00:19:12,950 Okay, thank God, 'cause I've done enough today. 358 00:19:13,033 --> 00:19:14,325 I am nobody's auntie. 359 00:19:14,408 --> 00:19:15,950 Hi. 360 00:19:16,033 --> 00:19:17,658 Oh, yeah, I know. 361 00:19:17,742 --> 00:19:18,867 I know. 362 00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,408 It's okay. 363 00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:22,033 You're okay. 364 00:19:22,117 --> 00:19:25,200 Hi. Hi. 365 00:19:25,283 --> 00:19:28,242 Hi. Hi, baby. 366 00:19:28,325 --> 00:19:29,742 Shh. Hi. 367 00:19:29,825 --> 00:19:31,492 Hi. Ooh. 368 00:19:31,575 --> 00:19:35,283 Hi. Ah! Uh... 369 00:19:35,367 --> 00:19:37,658 ♪ I'm a savage, okay ♪ 370 00:19:37,742 --> 00:19:41,908 ♪ Classy, bougie, ratchet, okay ♪ 371 00:19:41,992 --> 00:19:45,825 ♪ Sassy, moody, nasty, okay ♪ 372 00:19:45,908 --> 00:19:48,783 ♪ Acting stupid, what's happening? ♪ 373 00:19:48,867 --> 00:19:51,242 ♪ Yes, what's happening? ♪ 374 00:19:51,325 --> 00:19:54,575 ♪ Sassy, moody, nasty, okay ♪ 375 00:19:54,650 --> 00:19:57,109 You're killing my lullaby vibe. 376 00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:58,575 S-sorry. 377 00:19:58,658 --> 00:20:00,242 I know. 378 00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:01,541 ♪ I'm a savage ♪ 379 00:20:46,992 --> 00:20:48,950 Shh, shh, shh, shh. 380 00:20:49,033 --> 00:20:50,892 No, it's okay. It's okay. 381 00:20:55,492 --> 00:20:58,158 Okay. I'm ready. 382 00:20:58,242 --> 00:21:00,575 So, nearest firehouse, or... 383 00:21:00,658 --> 00:21:03,075 Yeah, uh... uh, it's just... 384 00:21:03,158 --> 00:21:05,783 Yes to a firehouse, but I don't know which one. 385 00:21:07,001 --> 00:21:09,117 I mean, I'm assuming whichever one we choose, 386 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,825 whoever's gonna adopt them is someone local, 387 00:21:11,908 --> 00:21:13,492 and sentencing this kid to a life in Anaheim 388 00:21:13,575 --> 00:21:15,033 just seems straight-up criminal. 389 00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:17,908 D, I definitely don't want to rush you, 390 00:21:17,992 --> 00:21:19,867 but it's getting late and my mom's starting to freak out. 391 00:21:19,950 --> 00:21:22,158 Um, yeah. Also, longer we're out, 392 00:21:22,242 --> 00:21:24,075 the more likely we are to get pulled over, 393 00:21:24,158 --> 00:21:26,575 and then we're fucked. 394 00:21:26,658 --> 00:21:28,658 Okay. 395 00:21:28,742 --> 00:21:30,242 Nearest firehouse. 396 00:21:30,325 --> 00:21:31,825 Let's go. 397 00:21:40,783 --> 00:21:43,033 "Jesus is the reason for the season?" 398 00:21:43,117 --> 00:21:44,867 Are we sure we want to leave the baby here? 399 00:21:44,950 --> 00:21:46,200 I'm getting homeschooling vibes. 400 00:21:46,283 --> 00:21:47,908 So, like, no. Definitely not here. 401 00:21:47,992 --> 00:21:50,783 I mean, where other than Oakland do unicorn lesbians live? 402 00:21:50,867 --> 00:21:53,033 I'm looking up best places in California for queers 403 00:21:53,117 --> 00:21:54,658 besides San Francisco right now. 404 00:21:54,742 --> 00:21:55,825 Okay? 405 00:21:55,908 --> 00:21:57,033 Wait, Laguna? 406 00:21:57,117 --> 00:21:58,533 "Sunny beaches and secluded coves, 407 00:21:58,617 --> 00:22:01,325 Laguna is Southern California's most alluring beach town." 408 00:22:01,408 --> 00:22:02,908 I don't know. Like, what kid's, like, 409 00:22:02,992 --> 00:22:05,427 "Life ain't perfect, but at least I got secluded coves"? 410 00:22:05,452 --> 00:22:06,717 What is going on with her? 411 00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:10,033 I don't know, but I feel like something happened. 412 00:22:10,117 --> 00:22:11,367 What? 413 00:22:15,783 --> 00:22:16,992 - Oh, shit. - What? 414 00:22:17,075 --> 00:22:19,242 My phone uploaded at the mall, 415 00:22:19,325 --> 00:22:20,783 and the video of you guys kissing Chester 416 00:22:20,867 --> 00:22:22,575 is on the family iCloud. 417 00:22:22,658 --> 00:22:23,950 No way! 418 00:22:24,033 --> 00:22:25,450 Why does iCloud never work, and then when it does, 419 00:22:25,533 --> 00:22:26,950 it screws up your whole life?! 420 00:22:27,033 --> 00:22:28,492 Did she tell my dads? 421 00:22:28,575 --> 00:22:31,283 Do I answer? Fuck! I have to answer. 422 00:22:31,367 --> 00:22:32,783 Hi. 423 00:22:32,867 --> 00:22:35,783 No, why are you talking to me about this and not Nathan? 424 00:22:35,867 --> 00:22:37,908 Do you not see how problematic that is? 425 00:22:37,992 --> 00:22:41,450 My service sucks! Bye! 426 00:22:41,533 --> 00:22:43,408 Problematic is literally my new favorite word. 427 00:22:43,492 --> 00:22:45,408 Thank you. I'm sorry. 428 00:22:45,492 --> 00:22:46,825 Bitch, don't even. 429 00:22:46,908 --> 00:22:48,783 iCloud is a cunt. 430 00:22:48,858 --> 00:22:51,045 And, I mean, my dads can't be on me 431 00:22:51,069 --> 00:22:52,407 for threeways, right? 432 00:22:52,408 --> 00:22:53,783 She's calling me form the landline. 433 00:22:53,867 --> 00:22:55,408 And she's FaceTiming me! 434 00:22:55,492 --> 00:22:57,575 She is literally double-fisting us! 435 00:23:00,825 --> 00:23:03,533 First, where in the name of God are you? 436 00:23:03,617 --> 00:23:06,117 Do you have any idea how terrified I've been? 437 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:09,283 And where is your brother? 438 00:23:09,367 --> 00:23:11,658 - Hi, Mom. - Oh, thank God. 439 00:23:11,742 --> 00:23:13,117 Where are you? 440 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:14,783 - J-Just out. - Hey, girl, hey. 441 00:23:14,867 --> 00:23:16,450 - I just wanted to... - Mnh-mnh-mnh-mnh. 442 00:23:16,533 --> 00:23:18,658 - Wait, she froze. - Can we just turn our phones off? 443 00:23:18,742 --> 00:23:20,575 No, I... I think I should deal. 444 00:23:20,658 --> 00:23:22,158 We have... no, we have to go. 445 00:23:22,242 --> 00:23:24,200 No, I just... I just don't want her calling the cops. 446 00:23:26,033 --> 00:23:28,950 I saw that video, okay? 447 00:23:29,033 --> 00:23:30,283 So how do you like them apples? 448 00:23:30,367 --> 00:23:32,117 - Mom, can we just talk? - No, no! 449 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:35,117 No, no, no, no, no, we cannot just... this is it. 450 00:23:35,192 --> 00:23:37,900 You two are coming home right this minute. 451 00:23:37,992 --> 00:23:39,325 When you walk through that door, 452 00:23:39,408 --> 00:23:40,742 I am gonna come down on you so hard, 453 00:23:40,825 --> 00:23:42,117 it's gonna make your head spin. 454 00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:44,617 No more Mrs. Nice Mujer, okay? 455 00:23:44,700 --> 00:23:46,158 Are you listening to me? 456 00:23:46,242 --> 00:23:47,533 I am going Old Testament. 457 00:23:47,617 --> 00:23:49,783 It's gonna be an eye for an eye. 458 00:23:49,867 --> 00:23:53,283 Why do you always want to make me the enemy? 459 00:23:53,367 --> 00:23:55,742 You literally just said "eye for an eye." 460 00:23:55,825 --> 00:23:59,158 Because you drove me to it! 461 00:23:59,242 --> 00:24:01,658 Oh, God, kids. Listen to me. 462 00:24:01,742 --> 00:24:06,533 I am really trying my Brené Brown best, okay, 463 00:24:06,617 --> 00:24:09,408 to stand here in my vulnerability, 464 00:24:09,492 --> 00:24:10,825 because I am a human. 465 00:24:10,908 --> 00:24:13,658 Yeah, and so are we, okay? We're not just kids. 466 00:24:13,742 --> 00:24:15,200 I mean... 467 00:24:15,283 --> 00:24:17,992 We are, but... 468 00:24:18,075 --> 00:24:20,075 Look, right now we are helping the less fortunate, 469 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:21,783 and that is something that you taught us, 470 00:24:21,867 --> 00:24:25,200 so please, please stop thinking that you did such a bad job 471 00:24:25,283 --> 00:24:27,367 as a mother, because you didn't, okay? 472 00:24:31,367 --> 00:24:33,033 We'll get back in touch with you. 473 00:24:33,117 --> 00:24:34,867 No! 474 00:24:38,075 --> 00:24:40,450 - Okay, okay, okay. - Is she gonna call the cops? 475 00:24:40,475 --> 00:24:41,486 - Probably. - Yeah. 476 00:24:41,511 --> 00:24:43,033 Go to Settings, Location Services, 477 00:24:43,058 --> 00:24:46,033 Find My Friends, and turn off Bluetooth. 478 00:24:46,108 --> 00:24:47,441 "We'll get back in touch with you?" 479 00:24:47,533 --> 00:24:49,700 Iconic! 480 00:24:49,783 --> 00:24:53,950 I'm so sorry, but my aunt's starting to freak out. 481 00:24:54,033 --> 00:24:55,658 Where you wanna go, boo? 482 00:24:59,783 --> 00:25:03,408 Okay. Secluded coves and sunny beaches it is. 483 00:25:11,283 --> 00:25:13,117 Um, I... 484 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:19,075 I couldn't have, um, you know, done... 485 00:25:21,700 --> 00:25:24,033 J-Just, thank you. 486 00:25:24,117 --> 00:25:27,075 Mnh-mnh. No. 487 00:25:27,158 --> 00:25:29,117 You don't thank your sisters. 488 00:25:34,450 --> 00:25:37,408 I'm adopted. 489 00:25:37,492 --> 00:25:39,533 Oh, I wasn't... I wasn't sure. 490 00:25:39,617 --> 00:25:43,492 Yeah. It's this whole thing with my birth parents, where... 491 00:25:43,575 --> 00:25:46,450 where, like, if they had not got stuck at a red light, 492 00:25:46,533 --> 00:25:49,700 they would have made it to the CVS before it closed, 493 00:25:49,783 --> 00:25:51,783 and then they would've got a condom, 494 00:25:51,867 --> 00:25:55,450 and I wouldn't have been born. 495 00:25:55,533 --> 00:25:57,242 And then my birth mom was choosing 496 00:25:57,325 --> 00:25:58,867 what family to put me with 497 00:25:58,950 --> 00:26:02,033 and was gonna go with some family in Idaho, 498 00:26:02,117 --> 00:26:03,825 but I guess she wasn't really vibing them, 499 00:26:03,908 --> 00:26:07,283 and that day, her horoscope was like, 500 00:26:07,367 --> 00:26:10,658 "Stay away from potatoes." 501 00:26:10,742 --> 00:26:14,575 So she was like, "Oh. I love 'Will and Grace.' 502 00:26:14,658 --> 00:26:17,783 I should just go with the gay guys in California." 503 00:26:20,367 --> 00:26:22,242 And even if it's fun telling my dads 504 00:26:22,325 --> 00:26:26,283 I'd be so much happier in Idaho, I definitely wouldn't. 505 00:26:31,908 --> 00:26:35,617 Clearly, I'm not a God person, 506 00:26:35,700 --> 00:26:41,408 but with stuff like that, it just makes you think, 507 00:26:41,492 --> 00:26:44,617 how it all kind of happens like its supposed to. 508 00:26:48,075 --> 00:26:50,783 It's really good, what you're doing. 509 00:27:16,408 --> 00:27:18,825 Yeah. 510 00:27:24,908 --> 00:27:27,200 This is my favorite shirt. 511 00:27:27,283 --> 00:27:29,075 I want you to have it. 512 00:27:31,117 --> 00:27:33,033 Like that. 513 00:27:35,283 --> 00:27:39,700 I also want you to have this transformative justice manual 514 00:27:39,783 --> 00:27:42,367 and this Audre Lorde book. 515 00:27:42,450 --> 00:27:44,283 Let's tuck them under here. 516 00:28:17,306 --> 00:28:19,473 Hold up. 517 00:28:22,367 --> 00:28:24,617 Hi. 518 00:28:34,033 --> 00:28:37,033 May you always be loved, regardless. 519 00:28:55,408 --> 00:28:58,950 I've been carrying this since the 4th grade. 520 00:29:30,283 --> 00:29:33,158 May it keep pain away. 521 00:29:54,950 --> 00:29:56,950 Hi, hi. 522 00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:19,575 You ready? 523 00:31:25,515 --> 00:31:28,473 That fireman was fuckin' hot. 524 00:33:18,216 --> 00:33:21,784 37153

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