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♪ Taxi driver ♪
2
00:00:19,242 --> 00:00:21,658
♪ Be my shrink for the hour ♪
3
00:00:21,742 --> 00:00:24,033
♪ Leave the meter running ♪
4
00:00:27,283 --> 00:00:30,075
♪ It's rush hour ♪
5
00:00:30,158 --> 00:00:32,450
♪ So take the streets if you wanna ♪
6
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:36,825
♪ Just outrun the demons, could you? ♪
7
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♪ He said, "Allahu akbar" ♪
8
00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:43,867
♪ I told him, "Don't curse me" ♪
9
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♪ "Bo Bo, you need prayer" ♪
10
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♪ I guess it couldn't hurt me ♪
11
00:00:50,033 --> 00:00:57,117
♪ If it brings me to my knees,
it's a bad religion ♪
12
00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,075
Morning.
13
00:00:59,158 --> 00:01:01,117
I went ahead and let Mrs. Takahashi know
14
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:02,950
that she'll be your new counselor.
15
00:01:03,033 --> 00:01:04,242
You should go and see her today.
16
00:01:04,325 --> 00:01:06,408
There's a suspension form to sign.
17
00:01:06,492 --> 00:01:09,783
And I want to have... I want you
to have someone to talk to.
18
00:01:13,117 --> 00:01:15,783
I think this makes the most sense.
19
00:01:17,908 --> 00:01:20,617
A form of indentured servitude
20
00:01:20,700 --> 00:01:23,992
that was developed
as a condition of debt bondage,
21
00:01:24,075 --> 00:01:27,325
and serfs could be bought
and sold and traded,
22
00:01:27,408 --> 00:01:29,158
so there were some similarities
23
00:01:29,242 --> 00:01:31,325
to slavery, but there was usually...
24
00:01:31,408 --> 00:01:33,450
♪ She on that sip of Henny,
she from that nitty-gritty ♪
25
00:01:33,533 --> 00:01:34,937
- Hi.
- ♪ She 'bout to glow up ♪
26
00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:36,032
♪ Hit the club looking pretty ♪
27
00:01:36,033 --> 00:01:38,283
♪ She on that sip of lean,
she got that tip from me ♪
28
00:01:38,367 --> 00:01:39,492
You okay?
29
00:01:39,575 --> 00:01:40,825
All good.
30
00:01:40,908 --> 00:01:43,033
Okay, 'cuz you seem, like...
31
00:01:43,117 --> 00:01:45,075
Where's Magic Mike?
32
00:01:45,158 --> 00:01:46,575
Is that what people call me?
33
00:01:46,658 --> 00:01:48,992
No. No one calls you that.
34
00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:52,325
Um... A lot of...
A lot of shit went down,
35
00:01:52,408 --> 00:01:54,492
and I can't really tell anyone else.
36
00:01:54,575 --> 00:01:55,908
I need to talk to you about it.
37
00:01:55,992 --> 00:01:59,658
Yeah, I'm kinda sick
of being all Mary Poppins,
38
00:01:59,742 --> 00:02:02,450
like, save the world
for everyone, you know?
39
00:02:02,533 --> 00:02:06,200
Like, it's not my job.
40
00:02:06,283 --> 00:02:09,033
Yeah. Um...
41
00:02:09,117 --> 00:02:11,575
But we're just worried about you.
42
00:02:11,658 --> 00:02:14,283
And you're not responding
to anyone's texts,
43
00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:16,200
and no one knows why
you pulled the fire alarm.
44
00:02:16,283 --> 00:02:18,617
I told you, it was a joke.
45
00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:21,283
Okay.
46
00:02:21,367 --> 00:02:23,158
For real?
47
00:02:40,450 --> 00:02:41,658
Oh, shit.
48
00:02:41,742 --> 00:02:43,658
You scared me.
49
00:02:43,742 --> 00:02:45,783
You gonna be here for a while?
50
00:02:45,867 --> 00:02:46,867
Um...
51
00:02:46,950 --> 00:02:48,742
I have next period free.
52
00:02:51,492 --> 00:02:54,158
You... You don't normally
look like this.
53
00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:55,825
Yeah, I'm not in a real chatty,
54
00:02:55,908 --> 00:02:58,158
how ya' doin' kinda mood right now.
55
00:02:58,242 --> 00:03:00,075
I-I can tell.
56
00:03:00,158 --> 00:03:02,408
It's good how you speak
your mind and all.
57
00:03:02,492 --> 00:03:04,283
- Who are you?
- I'm Bo.
58
00:03:04,367 --> 00:03:06,158
Sorry. Uh, I'm intimidated,
59
00:03:06,242 --> 00:03:09,033
and... and when I'm intimidated,
I always say the wrong thing.
60
00:03:09,117 --> 00:03:11,158
Like, once, I asked my freshman crush
61
00:03:11,242 --> 00:03:13,075
what it felt like
having divorced parents.
62
00:03:13,158 --> 00:03:15,033
And that was me trying to flirt.
63
00:03:15,117 --> 00:03:16,575
I intimidate you?
64
00:03:16,658 --> 00:03:19,325
You intimidate everyone.
65
00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:21,033
No, I know.
66
00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:23,242
How come I've never seen you before?
67
00:03:23,325 --> 00:03:25,783
We've had three classes together.
68
00:03:25,867 --> 00:03:28,658
Really?
69
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,492
Sorry.
70
00:03:35,533 --> 00:03:36,742
So...
71
00:03:36,825 --> 00:03:39,200
What happened with your freshman crush?
72
00:03:39,283 --> 00:03:41,117
Oh, he... he was straight.
73
00:03:44,533 --> 00:03:47,950
"A person is a whole person
when they are good sometimes
74
00:03:48,033 --> 00:03:51,658
but not always, and loved regardle."
75
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:55,867
"Ss."
76
00:03:57,950 --> 00:03:59,617
They only suspended me for four days,
77
00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:01,950
but it was a shitty four days.
78
00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:07,075
And I can't miss
any more school, so I'm back.
79
00:04:07,158 --> 00:04:10,075
But, like, barely.
80
00:04:10,158 --> 00:04:11,825
Why did you pull the fire alarm?
81
00:04:11,908 --> 00:04:15,617
'Cuz I was loving too much
and in all the wrong places,
82
00:04:15,700 --> 00:04:18,075
and...
83
00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:21,236
that's just, like, the nature
of my personality, you know?
84
00:04:21,337 --> 00:04:23,450
Yeah.
85
00:04:23,533 --> 00:04:25,158
Actually, no.
86
00:04:25,242 --> 00:04:26,617
All of my knowledge of love
87
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:30,471
is drawn from things
you'd definitely judge me for.
88
00:04:30,565 --> 00:04:32,200
Like what?
89
00:04:32,283 --> 00:04:35,825
Do you know Anju and Kafei
from Legend of Zelda?
90
00:04:35,908 --> 00:04:37,783
Yeah, you're right.
91
00:04:37,867 --> 00:04:39,825
Also, I think of
everyone's personalities
92
00:04:39,908 --> 00:04:41,742
as Dungeons & Dragons alignments.
93
00:04:41,824 --> 00:04:43,616
That's, like, the... like, the...
94
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:46,033
good, evil, neutral, whatever?
95
00:04:46,117 --> 00:04:49,075
- Yeah.
- Which one am I?
96
00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:51,117
Chaotic good.
97
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,033
I think.
98
00:04:53,117 --> 00:04:55,200
What about you?
99
00:04:55,283 --> 00:04:57,075
Neutral good.
100
00:04:57,158 --> 00:04:58,450
Is that bad?
101
00:04:58,533 --> 00:05:00,700
Do you want to be neutral?
102
00:05:00,783 --> 00:05:05,742
I mean, like, right now in this moment?
103
00:05:09,175 --> 00:05:11,217
I got class.
104
00:05:14,925 --> 00:05:18,717
Wait. I don't really get
Dungeons & Dragons.
105
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:20,383
It's not surprising.
106
00:05:20,467 --> 00:05:22,592
You saying I'm a judge-y bitch?
107
00:05:22,675 --> 00:05:25,092
Yes.
108
00:05:25,175 --> 00:05:27,175
But, I mean, right?
109
00:05:27,258 --> 00:05:29,758
I don't play much anymore, but I love
110
00:05:29,842 --> 00:05:32,717
that you can be a halfling druid
with a 5 strength,
111
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:37,925
but roll a 20 and, boom,
you killed an ogre.
112
00:05:38,008 --> 00:05:41,092
I don't know... I find
randomness kind of...
113
00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:44,425
hopeful?
114
00:06:02,592 --> 00:06:06,842
♪ And I was saving your place ♪
115
00:06:06,925 --> 00:06:09,758
♪ Cause you're always worth it ♪
116
00:06:09,842 --> 00:06:12,258
♪ But you're always working ♪
117
00:06:12,342 --> 00:06:14,508
Yo. What's up?
118
00:06:14,592 --> 00:06:17,008
Yo, where's the crop top at?
119
00:06:17,092 --> 00:06:18,800
Yeah, no sparkle today?
120
00:06:18,883 --> 00:06:21,883
Yo, are they bothering you?
121
00:06:21,967 --> 00:06:23,217
No, I'm good.
122
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:28,842
No, we're just... we're just
like, "Where's Chester?"
123
00:06:28,925 --> 00:06:30,800
Hey, are you sure you're okay, man?
124
00:06:30,883 --> 00:06:33,550
Just waiting on some Cheetos.
125
00:06:33,633 --> 00:06:35,883
- What's up with him?
- Just waiting on some Cheetos.
126
00:06:37,874 --> 00:06:39,416
Is he off his game?
127
00:06:39,508 --> 00:06:40,842
He looks weird.
128
00:06:40,925 --> 00:06:43,967
Yo, I can hear you.
129
00:06:44,050 --> 00:06:45,967
Yo, watch this.
130
00:06:46,050 --> 00:06:48,883
Hey, it's International Chester Day.
131
00:06:48,967 --> 00:06:50,092
Yeah, hey.
132
00:06:50,175 --> 00:06:51,175
Shirts off, everybody.
133
00:06:51,258 --> 00:06:52,633
Come on. Shirts off for Chester.
134
00:06:52,718 --> 00:06:54,425
- Shirts off for Chester.
- Come on.
135
00:06:54,508 --> 00:06:55,925
Come on. For Chester. Come on.
136
00:06:56,008 --> 00:06:57,467
Shirts off for Chester.
137
00:06:57,550 --> 00:06:59,592
Yeah, all right.
138
00:06:59,675 --> 00:07:02,300
Tits out! Come on!
Let me see those tits!
139
00:07:02,383 --> 00:07:04,217
Can I get some Cheetos?
140
00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:06,258
Shirts off for Chester!
141
00:07:06,342 --> 00:07:07,842
Come on, turn this shit up!
142
00:07:07,925 --> 00:07:10,550
- Nipples out, boys!
- Come on, let's do it.
143
00:07:10,633 --> 00:07:12,633
- Whoo!
- Don't be a pussy, come on!
144
00:07:12,717 --> 00:07:13,842
Shirts off!
145
00:07:16,842 --> 00:07:19,675
Yeah, come on! Get those tits out!
146
00:07:19,758 --> 00:07:21,092
- Tits out!
- Tits out for Chester!
147
00:07:21,175 --> 00:07:22,508
So problematic!
148
00:07:22,592 --> 00:07:25,258
Chester doesn't even like tits.
149
00:07:25,342 --> 00:07:28,550
Damn, you right.
150
00:07:28,633 --> 00:07:30,175
Dicks out for Chester!
151
00:07:30,258 --> 00:07:32,092
- Dicks out for Chester!
- Dicks out for Chester!
152
00:07:32,175 --> 00:07:33,675
No! Worse!
153
00:07:33,758 --> 00:07:36,883
Dicks out for Chester!
Dicks out for Chester!
154
00:07:41,508 --> 00:07:42,675
Oh, my God.
155
00:07:42,758 --> 00:07:44,467
- That's hilarious.
- We can be a little gay.
156
00:07:44,550 --> 00:07:47,133
It's not gay! It's not gay!
157
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:48,342
- Come on!
- Come on!
158
00:07:48,425 --> 00:07:49,550
Chester!
159
00:07:53,425 --> 00:07:55,425
Come on, let's go! Let's go!
160
00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:57,050
- Come on! Come on!
- Let's go! Come on!
161
00:08:14,758 --> 00:08:21,967
♪ You make me feel mighty real ♪
162
00:08:22,050 --> 00:08:28,800
♪ You make me feel mighty real ♪
163
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:32,425
♪ When we get home, darlin',
and it's nice and dark ♪
164
00:08:32,508 --> 00:08:34,842
♪ And the music's in Vienna ♪
165
00:08:34,925 --> 00:08:38,592
♪ Still you're hot
and you kiss me back and it ♪
166
00:08:38,675 --> 00:08:42,383
♪ Feels real good
and I know you love me ♪
167
00:08:42,467 --> 00:08:45,550
♪ Like you should ♪
168
00:08:45,633 --> 00:08:46,967
Yeah!
169
00:08:50,717 --> 00:08:54,467
♪ Oh you make me feel ♪
170
00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:54,060
No. Do not. Please do not do that.
171
00:09:54,117 --> 00:09:55,825
But, I mean, wasn't that
the whole thing with today?
172
00:09:55,908 --> 00:09:59,117
- Like, to just go out and... and do it.
- No, no...
173
00:09:59,207 --> 00:10:01,082
Yeah, but not in the way
you're thinking.
174
00:10:01,158 --> 00:10:03,200
But, I mean...
When you dared us to kiss,
175
00:10:03,283 --> 00:10:05,033
Chester was the first person to say yes.
176
00:10:05,117 --> 00:10:06,742
He wanted to kiss me. You saw.
177
00:10:06,825 --> 00:10:08,117
He was into it.
178
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,658
Mm, I don't know, actually.
179
00:10:10,742 --> 00:10:12,367
I do. I was kissing him.
180
00:10:12,450 --> 00:10:13,700
Yeah, I-I don't want to tell you
181
00:10:13,783 --> 00:10:15,575
not to put yourself out there, okay?
182
00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:19,325
I just don't think
you should, in any way, do
183
00:10:19,408 --> 00:10:21,367
- what you're thinking of doing.
- I should just call him.
184
00:10:21,450 --> 00:10:23,283
- Wait.
- No, seriously.
185
00:10:23,308 --> 00:10:24,996
He likes it when there's just
zero bullshit, you know?
186
00:10:25,028 --> 00:10:26,658
Hello?
187
00:10:26,684 --> 00:10:28,617
Wait, I think I got his voicemail.
188
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:30,700
Hi, it's... it's me, Nathan.
189
00:10:30,783 --> 00:10:32,700
That was insane today.
190
00:10:32,783 --> 00:10:36,033
Like, just so awesome and... and...
191
00:10:37,950 --> 00:10:41,325
Awesome. Um...
192
00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:43,033
Anyway, I-I-I texted you a couple times
193
00:10:43,117 --> 00:10:45,950
while you were suspended,
just to, like, you know,
194
00:10:46,033 --> 00:10:48,158
see how you were doing...
195
00:10:48,242 --> 00:10:50,617
Not like you should have
texted me back or anything,
196
00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:53,242
it's just...
197
00:10:53,325 --> 00:10:55,700
Um... What happened on the trip
198
00:10:55,783 --> 00:10:59,908
with... with the kiss
and everything, um...
199
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:02,992
Just so you know,
I'm not with Arianna anymore.
200
00:11:03,075 --> 00:11:04,450
Um...
201
00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:08,742
Okay, so, award for
most rambling message ever,
202
00:11:08,825 --> 00:11:10,825
but, like...
203
00:11:10,908 --> 00:11:12,908
You know, I...
204
00:11:12,992 --> 00:11:16,158
I-I think you're really cool
and, like, seriously,
205
00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:18,700
I mean, who would not want
to fuck their clone
206
00:11:18,783 --> 00:11:20,408
if their clone was you, right?
207
00:11:20,492 --> 00:11:21,575
I-I mean...
208
00:11:21,658 --> 00:11:25,742
I would want to fuck myself
if I was you.
209
00:11:25,825 --> 00:11:27,742
Meaning, that, like...
210
00:11:27,825 --> 00:11:30,825
I would want to fuck myself
if myself was you.
211
00:11:30,908 --> 00:11:33,617
- Please hang up. Please.
- I hope that doesn't sound creepy.
212
00:11:33,700 --> 00:11:36,492
Um, Google how to delete
a message you're leaving.
213
00:11:36,575 --> 00:11:38,408
Um... Okay.
214
00:11:38,492 --> 00:11:42,700
Um... I-I guess
what I'm really trying to say
215
00:11:42,783 --> 00:11:46,283
is that, like, I-I know that, like,
216
00:11:46,367 --> 00:11:49,742
on some level, you're up there,
and I'm down here,
217
00:11:49,825 --> 00:11:52,658
and t-there is every reason in the world
218
00:11:52,742 --> 00:11:55,992
that we would not work out,
but... but...
219
00:11:56,075 --> 00:11:59,242
sometimes opposites attract, right?
220
00:11:59,325 --> 00:12:01,075
So...
221
00:12:04,117 --> 00:12:05,825
Um...
222
00:12:07,825 --> 00:12:11,367
I-I I don't really know
what else to say,
223
00:12:11,450 --> 00:12:13,200
except that, like...
224
00:12:15,242 --> 00:12:18,575
I know that you were probably
hurting this week,
225
00:12:18,658 --> 00:12:23,950
and... and I would have given...
anything
226
00:12:24,033 --> 00:12:27,617
just to come over
and make you feel better.
227
00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:30,450
Like... I-I don't know if you remember,
228
00:12:30,533 --> 00:12:31,992
but when we first met at Riley's party,
229
00:12:32,075 --> 00:12:35,075
you put your arm around me,
and... and it was...
230
00:12:38,450 --> 00:12:41,033
It was everything.
231
00:12:41,117 --> 00:12:42,825
Um...
232
00:12:44,950 --> 00:12:46,492
Okay. Um...
233
00:12:46,575 --> 00:12:48,700
Crazy, psycho crying happening now,
234
00:12:48,783 --> 00:12:51,283
but... but... but, um...
235
00:12:51,367 --> 00:12:53,825
It's just that...
236
00:12:53,908 --> 00:12:57,575
sometimes, I-I want to put
my arm around you, too,
237
00:12:57,658 --> 00:12:59,492
and... and make you feel that way,
238
00:12:59,575 --> 00:13:01,700
like... like how I feel about you,
239
00:13:01,783 --> 00:13:04,492
because I-I don't want
to use the word love but...
240
00:13:12,075 --> 00:13:14,867
Ugh! You've got to be fucking kidding!
241
00:13:14,950 --> 00:13:16,408
It's gone.
242
00:13:16,492 --> 00:13:18,158
Tittyfuck cuntnugget.
243
00:13:18,242 --> 00:13:20,533
Can you guys go to Gardenwalk
after school?
244
00:13:20,617 --> 00:13:22,200
As long as I'm home by 8:00.
245
00:13:22,283 --> 00:13:24,492
My dads have a standing Friday sex date,
246
00:13:24,575 --> 00:13:26,200
and I have to put their Passion pen back
247
00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:27,658
before they know I took it.
248
00:13:27,742 --> 00:13:28,950
Yeah, I want to.
249
00:13:29,033 --> 00:13:31,158
It's just, ugh, malls.
250
00:13:31,242 --> 00:13:35,283
A.C. and capitalism. You know?
251
00:13:35,367 --> 00:13:38,492
But, I mean... Potato Corner!
252
00:13:41,158 --> 00:13:42,658
Wait! Go that way, go that way!
253
00:13:42,742 --> 00:13:45,533
♪ Been a long time
since I felt this attract... ♪
254
00:13:45,609 --> 00:13:47,525
Turn, turn, turn!
255
00:13:47,617 --> 00:13:49,158
Be careful!
256
00:13:49,242 --> 00:13:50,367
Jesus! Watch it!
257
00:13:50,450 --> 00:13:51,992
Can I just say I hate kids?
258
00:13:52,075 --> 00:13:54,242
They just scream
and take things from you.
259
00:13:54,325 --> 00:13:56,492
Oh, I have massive hunger pains.
260
00:13:56,575 --> 00:13:59,533
Fuck, Hot Dog on a Stick
sounds so good right now!
261
00:13:59,617 --> 00:14:01,242
But meat? No, I cant.
262
00:14:01,325 --> 00:14:02,783
- What? No!
- Just do it! You're with us.
263
00:14:02,867 --> 00:14:04,117
No one has to know.
264
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:05,450
I want it so bad.
265
00:14:05,533 --> 00:14:07,242
No. No meat. I can't.
266
00:14:07,325 --> 00:14:08,908
Taste this strip.
267
00:14:08,992 --> 00:14:10,992
- Oh, it's so good.
- So good.
268
00:14:11,075 --> 00:14:13,242
Oh, my God.
269
00:14:13,325 --> 00:14:15,117
I want to do that!
270
00:14:17,533 --> 00:14:18,992
I need to get off!
271
00:14:19,075 --> 00:14:20,408
I have the worst stomachache!
272
00:14:20,492 --> 00:14:22,950
No, just stay on!
My phone was out of storage,
273
00:14:23,033 --> 00:14:24,617
but it just uploaded to the thingy,
274
00:14:24,700 --> 00:14:26,158
so now I can film you...
275
00:14:26,242 --> 00:14:27,700
Oh, man. My dads are here!
276
00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:29,950
- No!
- Yes! I love you!
277
00:14:30,033 --> 00:14:31,533
I love you the most!
278
00:14:31,617 --> 00:14:32,783
Bye-bye.
279
00:14:32,867 --> 00:14:34,367
Ooh.
280
00:14:34,450 --> 00:14:36,658
It's probably just cramps, but
I have to go to the bathroom.
281
00:14:36,742 --> 00:14:39,283
- I'll meet you at Sephora.
- No, please come with me.
282
00:14:39,367 --> 00:14:41,200
Please.
283
00:14:41,283 --> 00:14:42,825
Ooh! Fuck this cramp!
284
00:14:42,908 --> 00:14:44,783
Ow! Ow!
285
00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:53,617
Are you okay?
286
00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:55,658
I'm in so much fucking pain!
287
00:14:55,742 --> 00:14:57,742
Sephora's closing.
288
00:15:00,325 --> 00:15:01,950
Dude, the service in here sucks.
289
00:15:02,033 --> 00:15:05,658
I'm being raped by pop-up ads.
290
00:15:12,867 --> 00:15:14,242
Shit!
291
00:15:14,325 --> 00:15:16,700
- I love you!
- It's coming out!
292
00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:17,825
- Holy fuck.
- Hi.
293
00:15:17,908 --> 00:15:19,325
Hi.
294
00:15:19,350 --> 00:15:20,325
Fuck you!
295
00:15:20,408 --> 00:15:21,783
You ready?
296
00:15:21,867 --> 00:15:23,825
Okay, so, yes, you can
safely surrender a baby
297
00:15:23,908 --> 00:15:25,950
72 hours after it's born.
298
00:15:26,033 --> 00:15:28,658
Hand the baby over,
no questions asked, that's it?
299
00:15:28,742 --> 00:15:30,908
It's... They literally cannot
ask you any questions.
300
00:15:30,992 --> 00:15:33,158
God, fuck. Why can't there be
that law for my parents?
301
00:15:33,242 --> 00:15:36,075
Hey. And yes, you have 14
days to change your mind.
302
00:15:36,158 --> 00:15:37,658
No, no, no, no, no, baby.
303
00:15:37,742 --> 00:15:39,658
Don't worry. I'm not changing my mind.
304
00:15:39,742 --> 00:15:42,658
- Me, neither.
- No, J and I talked about this.
305
00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:45,492
You need to go to someone
who wants to take care of you.
306
00:15:45,575 --> 00:15:47,950
God, this no questions asked
thing is genius.
307
00:15:48,033 --> 00:15:50,742
You could do it at a hospital,
a police station...
308
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:52,617
- Fuck the police.
- ...or fire station.
309
00:15:52,700 --> 00:15:55,367
Seriously?
The first time I achieved orgasm
310
00:15:55,450 --> 00:15:58,492
was to an Australian
Firefighters calendar.
311
00:15:58,575 --> 00:16:00,325
Over there.
312
00:16:02,367 --> 00:16:04,825
Oh, God. I'm literally
sweating right now.
313
00:16:13,283 --> 00:16:15,825
Oh, y'all look crusty.
314
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:18,533
Hi, tiny human.
315
00:16:18,617 --> 00:16:20,200
This was mine.
316
00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:24,658
My Nonna never throws anything
away, and we glad for it now.
317
00:16:24,742 --> 00:16:27,325
Sorry you had to be born.
318
00:16:27,408 --> 00:16:28,408
Oh.
319
00:16:28,492 --> 00:16:30,075
But, hey, look at all of us,
320
00:16:30,158 --> 00:16:32,200
you know? We didn't ask
to be born, either,
321
00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:35,283
and we're making it work.
322
00:16:35,367 --> 00:16:38,658
There you go.
323
00:16:38,742 --> 00:16:40,383
- We're going to a firehouse.
- Yes.
324
00:16:40,408 --> 00:16:43,575
I just need to get something
from my house first.
325
00:16:46,577 --> 00:16:47,743
Hi.
326
00:16:47,859 --> 00:16:49,567
Hi!
327
00:17:09,450 --> 00:17:13,033
♪ I don't really care
if you like me or not ♪
328
00:17:13,117 --> 00:17:16,408
♪ But I know that you want me to ♪
329
00:17:16,492 --> 00:17:19,783
♪ Oh, anythin' I do,
I know you're gonna watch ♪
330
00:17:19,867 --> 00:17:23,283
♪ To rumor up that I'm a fool ♪
331
00:17:23,367 --> 00:17:26,783
♪ You and all your friends
have to walk in a squad ♪
332
00:17:26,867 --> 00:17:30,158
♪ 'Cause y'all are so insecure ♪
333
00:17:30,242 --> 00:17:33,742
♪ Oh, overcompensate
'cause you're sizing me up ♪
334
00:17:33,825 --> 00:17:38,783
♪ The oldest trick in the book ♪
335
00:17:38,867 --> 00:17:40,867
Did you get my voicemail?
336
00:17:40,950 --> 00:17:42,867
Huh?
337
00:17:42,950 --> 00:17:45,533
D-did... Did you get my voicemail?
338
00:17:45,617 --> 00:17:46,950
No.
339
00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:51,533
♪ There's nothing you could say ♪
340
00:17:51,617 --> 00:17:53,033
Oh, wait, no. Yeah, I did.
341
00:17:53,117 --> 00:17:54,200
I'll listen to it later.
342
00:17:54,283 --> 00:17:55,742
Oh, no, no, i-i-i-it's fine.
343
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:59,075
You can just... you can just delete it.
344
00:17:59,158 --> 00:18:00,283
Oh, honey.
345
00:18:00,367 --> 00:18:03,950
Now I am definitely listening to it.
346
00:18:05,742 --> 00:18:08,617
♪ 'Cause I know what you really want ♪
347
00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:12,825
♪ A little more confidence, mm-hmm ♪
348
00:18:12,908 --> 00:18:15,283
♪ This is where it's gotta stop ♪
349
00:18:15,367 --> 00:18:17,408
♪ I'm tired of hearin' it ♪
350
00:18:17,492 --> 00:18:19,033
I'll be really quick.
351
00:18:58,283 --> 00:19:00,367
Oh, my God.
352
00:19:00,450 --> 00:19:02,950
- Shhh.
- No, it's okay.
353
00:19:03,033 --> 00:19:04,200
It's okay.
354
00:19:04,283 --> 00:19:05,492
It's okay. It's okay.
355
00:19:05,575 --> 00:19:08,825
Shh. Shh.
356
00:19:08,908 --> 00:19:10,325
I got it. I got it.
357
00:19:10,408 --> 00:19:12,950
Okay, thank God,
'cause I've done enough today.
358
00:19:13,033 --> 00:19:14,325
I am nobody's auntie.
359
00:19:14,408 --> 00:19:15,950
Hi.
360
00:19:16,033 --> 00:19:17,658
Oh, yeah, I know.
361
00:19:17,742 --> 00:19:18,867
I know.
362
00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,408
It's okay.
363
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:22,033
You're okay.
364
00:19:22,117 --> 00:19:25,200
Hi. Hi.
365
00:19:25,283 --> 00:19:28,242
Hi. Hi, baby.
366
00:19:28,325 --> 00:19:29,742
Shh. Hi.
367
00:19:29,825 --> 00:19:31,492
Hi. Ooh.
368
00:19:31,575 --> 00:19:35,283
Hi. Ah! Uh...
369
00:19:35,367 --> 00:19:37,658
♪ I'm a savage, okay ♪
370
00:19:37,742 --> 00:19:41,908
♪ Classy, bougie, ratchet, okay ♪
371
00:19:41,992 --> 00:19:45,825
♪ Sassy, moody, nasty, okay ♪
372
00:19:45,908 --> 00:19:48,783
♪ Acting stupid, what's happening? ♪
373
00:19:48,867 --> 00:19:51,242
♪ Yes, what's happening? ♪
374
00:19:51,325 --> 00:19:54,575
♪ Sassy, moody, nasty, okay ♪
375
00:19:54,650 --> 00:19:57,109
You're killing my lullaby vibe.
376
00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:58,575
S-sorry.
377
00:19:58,658 --> 00:20:00,242
I know.
378
00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:01,541
♪ I'm a savage ♪
379
00:20:46,992 --> 00:20:48,950
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
380
00:20:49,033 --> 00:20:50,892
No, it's okay. It's okay.
381
00:20:55,492 --> 00:20:58,158
Okay. I'm ready.
382
00:20:58,242 --> 00:21:00,575
So, nearest firehouse, or...
383
00:21:00,658 --> 00:21:03,075
Yeah, uh... uh, it's just...
384
00:21:03,158 --> 00:21:05,783
Yes to a firehouse,
but I don't know which one.
385
00:21:07,001 --> 00:21:09,117
I mean, I'm assuming
whichever one we choose,
386
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,825
whoever's gonna adopt them
is someone local,
387
00:21:11,908 --> 00:21:13,492
and sentencing this kid
to a life in Anaheim
388
00:21:13,575 --> 00:21:15,033
just seems straight-up criminal.
389
00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:17,908
D, I definitely don't want to rush you,
390
00:21:17,992 --> 00:21:19,867
but it's getting late and
my mom's starting to freak out.
391
00:21:19,950 --> 00:21:22,158
Um, yeah. Also, longer we're out,
392
00:21:22,242 --> 00:21:24,075
the more likely we are
to get pulled over,
393
00:21:24,158 --> 00:21:26,575
and then we're fucked.
394
00:21:26,658 --> 00:21:28,658
Okay.
395
00:21:28,742 --> 00:21:30,242
Nearest firehouse.
396
00:21:30,325 --> 00:21:31,825
Let's go.
397
00:21:40,783 --> 00:21:43,033
"Jesus is the reason for the season?"
398
00:21:43,117 --> 00:21:44,867
Are we sure we want
to leave the baby here?
399
00:21:44,950 --> 00:21:46,200
I'm getting homeschooling vibes.
400
00:21:46,283 --> 00:21:47,908
So, like, no. Definitely not here.
401
00:21:47,992 --> 00:21:50,783
I mean, where other than Oakland
do unicorn lesbians live?
402
00:21:50,867 --> 00:21:53,033
I'm looking up best places
in California for queers
403
00:21:53,117 --> 00:21:54,658
besides San Francisco right now.
404
00:21:54,742 --> 00:21:55,825
Okay?
405
00:21:55,908 --> 00:21:57,033
Wait, Laguna?
406
00:21:57,117 --> 00:21:58,533
"Sunny beaches and secluded coves,
407
00:21:58,617 --> 00:22:01,325
Laguna is Southern California's
most alluring beach town."
408
00:22:01,408 --> 00:22:02,908
I don't know. Like, what kid's, like,
409
00:22:02,992 --> 00:22:05,427
"Life ain't perfect, but
at least I got secluded coves"?
410
00:22:05,452 --> 00:22:06,717
What is going on with her?
411
00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:10,033
I don't know, but I feel
like something happened.
412
00:22:10,117 --> 00:22:11,367
What?
413
00:22:15,783 --> 00:22:16,992
- Oh, shit.
- What?
414
00:22:17,075 --> 00:22:19,242
My phone uploaded at the mall,
415
00:22:19,325 --> 00:22:20,783
and the video
of you guys kissing Chester
416
00:22:20,867 --> 00:22:22,575
is on the family iCloud.
417
00:22:22,658 --> 00:22:23,950
No way!
418
00:22:24,033 --> 00:22:25,450
Why does iCloud never work,
and then when it does,
419
00:22:25,533 --> 00:22:26,950
it screws up your whole life?!
420
00:22:27,033 --> 00:22:28,492
Did she tell my dads?
421
00:22:28,575 --> 00:22:31,283
Do I answer? Fuck! I have to answer.
422
00:22:31,367 --> 00:22:32,783
Hi.
423
00:22:32,867 --> 00:22:35,783
No, why are you talking to me
about this and not Nathan?
424
00:22:35,867 --> 00:22:37,908
Do you not see how problematic that is?
425
00:22:37,992 --> 00:22:41,450
My service sucks! Bye!
426
00:22:41,533 --> 00:22:43,408
Problematic is literally
my new favorite word.
427
00:22:43,492 --> 00:22:45,408
Thank you. I'm sorry.
428
00:22:45,492 --> 00:22:46,825
Bitch, don't even.
429
00:22:46,908 --> 00:22:48,783
iCloud is a cunt.
430
00:22:48,858 --> 00:22:51,045
And, I mean, my dads can't be on me
431
00:22:51,069 --> 00:22:52,407
for threeways, right?
432
00:22:52,408 --> 00:22:53,783
She's calling me form the landline.
433
00:22:53,867 --> 00:22:55,408
And she's FaceTiming me!
434
00:22:55,492 --> 00:22:57,575
She is literally double-fisting us!
435
00:23:00,825 --> 00:23:03,533
First, where in the name of God are you?
436
00:23:03,617 --> 00:23:06,117
Do you have any idea
how terrified I've been?
437
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:09,283
And where is your brother?
438
00:23:09,367 --> 00:23:11,658
- Hi, Mom.
- Oh, thank God.
439
00:23:11,742 --> 00:23:13,117
Where are you?
440
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:14,783
- J-Just out.
- Hey, girl, hey.
441
00:23:14,867 --> 00:23:16,450
- I just wanted to...
- Mnh-mnh-mnh-mnh.
442
00:23:16,533 --> 00:23:18,658
- Wait, she froze.
- Can we just turn our phones off?
443
00:23:18,742 --> 00:23:20,575
No, I... I think I should deal.
444
00:23:20,658 --> 00:23:22,158
We have... no, we have to go.
445
00:23:22,242 --> 00:23:24,200
No, I just... I just don't
want her calling the cops.
446
00:23:26,033 --> 00:23:28,950
I saw that video, okay?
447
00:23:29,033 --> 00:23:30,283
So how do you like them apples?
448
00:23:30,367 --> 00:23:32,117
- Mom, can we just talk?
- No, no!
449
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:35,117
No, no, no, no, no,
we cannot just... this is it.
450
00:23:35,192 --> 00:23:37,900
You two are coming home
right this minute.
451
00:23:37,992 --> 00:23:39,325
When you walk through that door,
452
00:23:39,408 --> 00:23:40,742
I am gonna come down on you so hard,
453
00:23:40,825 --> 00:23:42,117
it's gonna make your head spin.
454
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:44,617
No more Mrs. Nice Mujer, okay?
455
00:23:44,700 --> 00:23:46,158
Are you listening to me?
456
00:23:46,242 --> 00:23:47,533
I am going Old Testament.
457
00:23:47,617 --> 00:23:49,783
It's gonna be an eye for an eye.
458
00:23:49,867 --> 00:23:53,283
Why do you always
want to make me the enemy?
459
00:23:53,367 --> 00:23:55,742
You literally just said
"eye for an eye."
460
00:23:55,825 --> 00:23:59,158
Because you drove me to it!
461
00:23:59,242 --> 00:24:01,658
Oh, God, kids. Listen to me.
462
00:24:01,742 --> 00:24:06,533
I am really trying
my Brené Brown best, okay,
463
00:24:06,617 --> 00:24:09,408
to stand here in my vulnerability,
464
00:24:09,492 --> 00:24:10,825
because I am a human.
465
00:24:10,908 --> 00:24:13,658
Yeah, and so are we, okay?
We're not just kids.
466
00:24:13,742 --> 00:24:15,200
I mean...
467
00:24:15,283 --> 00:24:17,992
We are, but...
468
00:24:18,075 --> 00:24:20,075
Look, right now we are helping
the less fortunate,
469
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:21,783
and that is something
that you taught us,
470
00:24:21,867 --> 00:24:25,200
so please, please stop thinking
that you did such a bad job
471
00:24:25,283 --> 00:24:27,367
as a mother, because you didn't, okay?
472
00:24:31,367 --> 00:24:33,033
We'll get back in touch with you.
473
00:24:33,117 --> 00:24:34,867
No!
474
00:24:38,075 --> 00:24:40,450
- Okay, okay, okay.
- Is she gonna call the cops?
475
00:24:40,475 --> 00:24:41,486
- Probably.
- Yeah.
476
00:24:41,511 --> 00:24:43,033
Go to Settings, Location Services,
477
00:24:43,058 --> 00:24:46,033
Find My Friends, and turn off Bluetooth.
478
00:24:46,108 --> 00:24:47,441
"We'll get back in touch with you?"
479
00:24:47,533 --> 00:24:49,700
Iconic!
480
00:24:49,783 --> 00:24:53,950
I'm so sorry, but my aunt's
starting to freak out.
481
00:24:54,033 --> 00:24:55,658
Where you wanna go, boo?
482
00:24:59,783 --> 00:25:03,408
Okay. Secluded coves
and sunny beaches it is.
483
00:25:11,283 --> 00:25:13,117
Um, I...
484
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:19,075
I couldn't have, um, you know, done...
485
00:25:21,700 --> 00:25:24,033
J-Just, thank you.
486
00:25:24,117 --> 00:25:27,075
Mnh-mnh. No.
487
00:25:27,158 --> 00:25:29,117
You don't thank your sisters.
488
00:25:34,450 --> 00:25:37,408
I'm adopted.
489
00:25:37,492 --> 00:25:39,533
Oh, I wasn't... I wasn't sure.
490
00:25:39,617 --> 00:25:43,492
Yeah. It's this whole thing
with my birth parents, where...
491
00:25:43,575 --> 00:25:46,450
where, like, if they had not
got stuck at a red light,
492
00:25:46,533 --> 00:25:49,700
they would have made it
to the CVS before it closed,
493
00:25:49,783 --> 00:25:51,783
and then they would've got a condom,
494
00:25:51,867 --> 00:25:55,450
and I wouldn't have been born.
495
00:25:55,533 --> 00:25:57,242
And then my birth mom was choosing
496
00:25:57,325 --> 00:25:58,867
what family to put me with
497
00:25:58,950 --> 00:26:02,033
and was gonna go with
some family in Idaho,
498
00:26:02,117 --> 00:26:03,825
but I guess she wasn't
really vibing them,
499
00:26:03,908 --> 00:26:07,283
and that day, her horoscope was like,
500
00:26:07,367 --> 00:26:10,658
"Stay away from potatoes."
501
00:26:10,742 --> 00:26:14,575
So she was like, "Oh.
I love 'Will and Grace.'
502
00:26:14,658 --> 00:26:17,783
I should just go with
the gay guys in California."
503
00:26:20,367 --> 00:26:22,242
And even if it's fun telling my dads
504
00:26:22,325 --> 00:26:26,283
I'd be so much happier in Idaho,
I definitely wouldn't.
505
00:26:31,908 --> 00:26:35,617
Clearly, I'm not a God person,
506
00:26:35,700 --> 00:26:41,408
but with stuff like that,
it just makes you think,
507
00:26:41,492 --> 00:26:44,617
how it all kind of happens
like its supposed to.
508
00:26:48,075 --> 00:26:50,783
It's really good, what you're doing.
509
00:27:16,408 --> 00:27:18,825
Yeah.
510
00:27:24,908 --> 00:27:27,200
This is my favorite shirt.
511
00:27:27,283 --> 00:27:29,075
I want you to have it.
512
00:27:31,117 --> 00:27:33,033
Like that.
513
00:27:35,283 --> 00:27:39,700
I also want you to have this
transformative justice manual
514
00:27:39,783 --> 00:27:42,367
and this Audre Lorde book.
515
00:27:42,450 --> 00:27:44,283
Let's tuck them under here.
516
00:28:17,306 --> 00:28:19,473
Hold up.
517
00:28:22,367 --> 00:28:24,617
Hi.
518
00:28:34,033 --> 00:28:37,033
May you always be loved, regardless.
519
00:28:55,408 --> 00:28:58,950
I've been carrying this
since the 4th grade.
520
00:29:30,283 --> 00:29:33,158
May it keep pain away.
521
00:29:54,950 --> 00:29:56,950
Hi, hi.
522
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:19,575
You ready?
523
00:31:25,515 --> 00:31:28,473
That fireman was fuckin' hot.
524
00:33:18,216 --> 00:33:21,784
37153
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