Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:02,468
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
2
00:00:06,991 --> 00:00:09,192
Okay, okay, one more
before they kick us out of here.
3
00:00:09,226 --> 00:00:11,495
I'm getting a massage
by the pool
4
00:00:11,528 --> 00:00:13,798
at the rehab facility when
they bring over a phone
5
00:00:13,831 --> 00:00:16,266
and tell me my show's
been canceled,
6
00:00:16,299 --> 00:00:20,203
and I am getting cleaned
out at 5K a night
7
00:00:20,237 --> 00:00:23,306
to get cleaned up and I got
less than no income, right?
8
00:00:23,340 --> 00:00:25,275
So, I am ready to bolt
over the fence,
9
00:00:25,308 --> 00:00:28,680
and start making headlines
again when I see,
10
00:00:28,713 --> 00:00:32,249
shoving his face into
a six-cheese burrito
11
00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:37,387
across the pool, the exec who
put Friends on the network.
12
00:00:37,421 --> 00:00:41,291
Yeah. Remember, this is '96,
which, as I say it,
13
00:00:41,324 --> 00:00:44,594
is before any of you were born.
14
00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:46,798
It was a year, in case
anyone's wondering, yeah.
15
00:00:46,831 --> 00:00:48,766
And Friends was at its peak.
16
00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:50,434
Oh, you probably don't
know what Friends is.
17
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:54,404
Friends is a TV show,
and a TV show is,
18
00:00:54,438 --> 00:00:56,406
ah, how do I explain this? Um...
19
00:00:56,440 --> 00:01:00,912
It's like a longer Snapchat
that you watch on a box
20
00:01:00,945 --> 00:01:02,747
but in the living room.
21
00:01:02,780 --> 00:01:04,514
The way this guy's eating,
like I've seen this before,
22
00:01:04,548 --> 00:01:05,582
I've felt this, right?
23
00:01:05,615 --> 00:01:07,952
When you can't get a real fix,
24
00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:10,722
then the next best thing
is loading up on carbs,
25
00:01:10,755 --> 00:01:13,758
so I figure I'll do
his cholesterol a favor
26
00:01:13,791 --> 00:01:16,359
and smuggle in a little pot.
27
00:01:16,393 --> 00:01:18,528
No big deal in the grand
scheme of rehab, right,
28
00:01:18,562 --> 00:01:22,834
and we bond, except to
28-year old me, bonding meant
29
00:01:22,867 --> 00:01:26,003
pitching my brilliant
new television show.
30
00:01:26,037 --> 00:01:28,371
So, what happened next?
31
00:01:28,405 --> 00:01:30,675
Well, that's, that's
the constant of the story.
32
00:01:30,708 --> 00:01:32,609
I mean, presumably I was
going to tell it to completion
33
00:01:32,642 --> 00:01:34,011
even without your question.
34
00:01:34,045 --> 00:01:37,347
Oh my God,
four years of film school
35
00:01:37,380 --> 00:01:40,350
they didn't teach you you have to finish your narratives?
36
00:01:40,383 --> 00:01:42,319
I mean, you can't rely on
some dumbass to ask you
37
00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:43,755
what's going to happen next.
38
00:01:43,788 --> 00:01:45,857
I mean, you have to tell
that dumbass yourself.
39
00:01:45,890 --> 00:01:48,893
No, no, no, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
Kid, you're fine, you're fine.
40
00:01:48,926 --> 00:01:50,795
Man, I want to be
a part of that.
41
00:01:50,828 --> 00:01:54,031
Never underestimate how cool
a good cup hold makes you look.
42
00:01:54,065 --> 00:01:56,500
Yeah, the inevitable
ruin of our generation,
43
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:58,970
- underestimating how cool a cup makes you look.
- Yeah.
44
00:01:59,003 --> 00:02:00,938
I mean it can't just be any cup.
It's got to be a good cup.
45
00:02:00,972 --> 00:02:03,640
It's like, ah. Whenever I'm just
hanging out, doing my thing,
46
00:02:03,674 --> 00:02:05,042
I don't care if you're looking.
47
00:02:05,076 --> 00:02:08,012
What kind of dick just
doesn't hold anything?
48
00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:11,481
I feel like it'd be cooler for you
if it wasn't just orange juice.
49
00:02:11,515 --> 00:02:12,817
What can they
possibly be saying
50
00:02:12,850 --> 00:02:14,652
to Michael Burwell
to make him laugh?
51
00:02:14,685 --> 00:02:16,788
I don't know, like a
funny joke or an anecdote.
52
00:02:16,821 --> 00:02:19,389
- Are we done with cups?
- In the four years that we've known these people
53
00:02:19,422 --> 00:02:20,958
have they ever,
at any point, told you
54
00:02:20,992 --> 00:02:22,425
a funny joke or anecdote?
55
00:02:22,459 --> 00:02:24,427
Last week, Nicole she...
56
00:02:24,461 --> 00:02:25,863
No, I guess objectively,
it was just kind of
57
00:02:25,897 --> 00:02:27,665
words strung together.
58
00:02:27,698 --> 00:02:28,966
I don't know
who Nicole is.
59
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,534
You don't know who any
of these people are.
60
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,737
- Who's that?
- Who, subprime?
61
00:02:32,770 --> 00:02:36,473
See? One time he mentions the word
"subprime" and for four years,
62
00:02:36,506 --> 00:02:38,475
that's it, that's all you call
him. He was in every single...
63
00:02:38,508 --> 00:02:40,044
He said it in reference
to The Mummy Returns.
64
00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:41,946
I am so jealous of
your ability...
65
00:02:41,979 --> 00:02:43,547
- Yeah, there's no through line, there.
- Your gift
66
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:44,882
to be absolutely oblivious.
67
00:02:44,916 --> 00:02:46,550
But I mean, subprime?
68
00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:49,553
- Squeaky chair, goddamn magnets.
- Magnets.
69
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:51,656
They don't deserve
Michael Burwell's time.
70
00:02:51,689 --> 00:02:53,557
I mean, why is he still here?
He's done his commencement.
71
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:55,458
Why doesn't he just
go back home?
72
00:02:55,492 --> 00:02:57,762
I think the school
pays him to be here
73
00:02:57,795 --> 00:03:01,065
and are you against him or the students?
Because this isn't tracking.
74
00:03:01,098 --> 00:03:04,001
I'm against the idea that these kids
are going to leave university and think
75
00:03:04,035 --> 00:03:07,537
they have the greatest writer
in Hollywood as a contact.
76
00:03:07,571 --> 00:03:09,006
Like, what do you say to him?
77
00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:11,876
"Yeah, my thesis contrasts
your early screenplay
78
00:03:11,909 --> 00:03:14,111
work with Kafka, oh by the way,
can you read my script?
79
00:03:14,145 --> 00:03:15,746
The twist at the end
is the guy's dreaming."
80
00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:18,082
Pfft, get fucked.
81
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:20,051
That was really good and I'm
going to use it as my opener.
82
00:03:20,084 --> 00:03:22,887
Now, do I say get
fucked or just...
83
00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:24,088
You're actually going
to go over there?
84
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:25,890
Yeah, why do you think
we're still here?
85
00:03:25,923 --> 00:03:27,658
And I don't have something
to prove like you.
86
00:03:27,692 --> 00:03:29,526
I would rather just meet
and speak with the guy
87
00:03:29,559 --> 00:03:31,796
as an equal once I become
a writer and not be
88
00:03:31,829 --> 00:03:35,599
a part of this horde of
desperately average students.
89
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:38,501
Please, never stop having
such strong opinions
90
00:03:38,535 --> 00:03:41,105
about things with absolutely
no experience to back them up.
91
00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:43,908
- It is one of the things I love about you.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
92
00:03:43,941 --> 00:03:47,912
Go over there. I'll be outside
getting air or splashing
93
00:03:47,945 --> 00:03:50,748
water on my face, I don't
know, whatever people do.
94
00:03:50,781 --> 00:03:52,116
Have fun at your big break.
95
00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:53,784
You don't want to wish me luck?
96
00:03:53,818 --> 00:03:55,786
No, no, that's sort
of what I was saying
97
00:03:55,820 --> 00:03:57,520
is that luck has nothing
to do with it.
98
00:03:57,554 --> 00:03:59,422
Honestly, just shoot me
in the face if I wind up
99
00:03:59,456 --> 00:04:02,026
photocopying scripts for
people who got luckier than me.
100
00:04:17,008 --> 00:04:17,975
Want one?
101
00:04:18,009 --> 00:04:19,576
Oh, no, I don't smoke.
102
00:04:21,779 --> 00:04:24,481
But I'm obviously
going to take one.
103
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:27,484
This is a classic movie scene.
No one ever says no to a cigarette, right?
104
00:04:37,061 --> 00:04:40,164
Those kids are
exhausting, huh?
105
00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:42,767
Just want my advice.
Nothing wrong with them.
106
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:45,468
- None of them are going to make it.
- Most of them, it's true.
107
00:04:46,771 --> 00:04:48,839
Can I tell you why?
108
00:04:48,873 --> 00:04:51,676
Love questions like that,
because you're going to tell me anyway.
109
00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:54,245
Because not one of them
in there is original.
110
00:04:54,278 --> 00:04:57,214
In their writing, absolutely
not, but in their lives, too.
111
00:04:57,248 --> 00:04:58,849
It's all to come running
up to meet you
112
00:04:58,883 --> 00:05:00,051
like a bunch of kids
on a field trip
113
00:05:00,084 --> 00:05:01,986
holding a fucking skipping rope.
114
00:05:02,019 --> 00:05:05,588
But you're out here alone,
so, clearly you're original.
115
00:05:05,622 --> 00:05:08,960
Well, in lieu of the cliché of the
scene that's playing out right now,
116
00:05:08,993 --> 00:05:10,861
I know if I don't do something
to impress you, you're going to
117
00:05:10,895 --> 00:05:13,064
walk back inside and
forget me, too.
118
00:05:13,097 --> 00:05:14,198
Opportunity lost.
119
00:05:15,733 --> 00:05:16,667
You got a plan?
120
00:05:21,272 --> 00:05:22,173
Skeleton of a plan.
121
00:05:23,140 --> 00:05:24,175
Involve murder?
122
00:05:24,208 --> 00:05:26,811
Hmm. Attempted maybe.
123
00:05:26,844 --> 00:05:29,046
You're a personal hero
of mine, see.
124
00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:32,149
Maybe I have to do something
crazy to impress you.
125
00:05:32,183 --> 00:05:34,218
You have the confidence
of a much larger man.
126
00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:36,954
How do you know I can't just
kick the shit out of you?
127
00:05:36,988 --> 00:05:39,256
And I can't, because I'm in front
of a laptop like 12 hours a day.
128
00:05:39,290 --> 00:05:41,192
What do you say we go for
a frozen yogurt, instead?
129
00:05:41,225 --> 00:05:42,994
We grab a fro-yo, we
go with the low-fat,
130
00:05:43,027 --> 00:05:44,594
that's like getting
away with murder.
131
00:05:44,627 --> 00:05:45,963
Well, I'm not actually
going to "kill" you.
132
00:05:45,997 --> 00:05:47,231
It's just,
133
00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:48,666
you know, I wrote a short
about this
134
00:05:48,699 --> 00:05:50,034
in first year.
135
00:05:50,067 --> 00:05:51,534
All right, let me
set the scene, so,
136
00:05:51,568 --> 00:05:53,603
it's a dark, snowy night.
137
00:05:53,636 --> 00:05:56,674
I hurt you enough so that
you can sue me, right.
138
00:05:56,707 --> 00:05:58,641
You and I spend a lot of time
together during the trial.
139
00:05:58,676 --> 00:06:02,046
Now, during the document disclosure
process, I submit a script.
140
00:06:02,079 --> 00:06:04,048
The law says that your
legal team is required
141
00:06:04,081 --> 00:06:07,084
to read everything
I submit into discovery.
142
00:06:07,118 --> 00:06:09,687
So, you read it, you
love it, naturally,
143
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:11,922
and, uh, that's my end.
144
00:06:11,956 --> 00:06:15,693
Huh, Hollywood. It's all about who you know.
145
00:06:15,726 --> 00:06:18,095
See? That would have been a
great name for the film. Ah.
146
00:06:18,129 --> 00:06:20,231
Well, that's why you're the pro.
147
00:06:20,264 --> 00:06:21,932
This is why...
148
00:06:21,966 --> 00:06:24,601
Sorry, am I interrupting
something?
149
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,804
- Interrupting who?
- Moo.
150
00:06:26,837 --> 00:06:27,938
Was that a knock knock joke?
151
00:06:29,273 --> 00:06:31,075
- I regret everything.
- Hmm.
152
00:06:31,108 --> 00:06:33,744
I just saw you waving
your hands around,
153
00:06:33,778 --> 00:06:36,613
and I guess I assumed that you were
probably rehearsing a scene, or...
154
00:06:37,614 --> 00:06:39,549
Just one sec, hold on.
155
00:06:41,252 --> 00:06:42,153
One second.
156
00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:51,162
Forgot my cup... drink.
157
00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:54,698
What're you drinking?
158
00:06:58,903 --> 00:07:01,906
Tastes like... scotch.
159
00:07:03,741 --> 00:07:05,342
That's clear, so it's
definitely not scotch.
160
00:07:06,643 --> 00:07:09,013
Not a big drinker.
161
00:07:09,046 --> 00:07:10,748
For moral reasons, or...
162
00:07:10,781 --> 00:07:12,116
I just figure everybody drinks,
163
00:07:12,149 --> 00:07:16,020
especially in university,
so, how great can it be?
164
00:07:16,053 --> 00:07:17,655
So you're a contrarian, then?
165
00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:18,722
Not if you say I am.
166
00:07:20,825 --> 00:07:21,759
I...
167
00:07:21,792 --> 00:07:22,893
You...
168
00:07:22,927 --> 00:07:24,662
Oh, so you know letters, too?
169
00:07:25,796 --> 00:07:27,398
Why?
170
00:07:27,431 --> 00:07:28,966
I don't know, I thought
we were doing a bit.
171
00:07:30,201 --> 00:07:32,269
Oh, well we were.
172
00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:35,139
"Y" is also a letter.
I'm not sure you knew that.
173
00:07:35,172 --> 00:07:36,606
- Ah!
- Hmm.
174
00:07:37,441 --> 00:07:40,377
Did you just graduate?
175
00:07:40,411 --> 00:07:42,880
Didn't you notice I
was in your graduating class?
176
00:07:42,913 --> 00:07:45,249
Never really pay too much
attention to that stuff.
177
00:07:46,217 --> 00:07:47,651
Like, life?
178
00:07:47,685 --> 00:07:50,054
Yeah, yeah, never understood it.
179
00:07:50,087 --> 00:07:52,723
I think I was sick the day that
they taught that at school.
180
00:07:52,756 --> 00:07:55,159
Shit, man. I thought I was
missing out because I was sick
181
00:07:55,192 --> 00:07:56,760
- the day they taught cursive.
- Right?
182
00:07:56,794 --> 00:07:58,262
You'd think that they
would stretch that lesson
183
00:07:58,295 --> 00:08:00,030
- over at least a week. Yeah.
- Right.
184
00:08:00,064 --> 00:08:03,033
But who uses cursive anyway, so.
185
00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:05,669
You're not one of those "I
hate cursive people," are you?
186
00:08:05,703 --> 00:08:08,072
If you are, then curse...
187
00:08:11,108 --> 00:08:12,176
you.
188
00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:18,916
Okay, wow.
189
00:08:18,949 --> 00:08:21,719
I've received the air
that I came out here for.
190
00:08:21,752 --> 00:08:23,187
I'm going to...
191
00:08:32,796 --> 00:08:33,831
Take this.
192
00:08:34,498 --> 00:08:36,333
What did you...
Did you roofie this?
193
00:08:37,334 --> 00:08:39,870
Man. I was on.
194
00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:43,274
I mean, I'm not usually on like that,
unless I'm writing a character that's on.
195
00:08:43,307 --> 00:08:44,875
You, on?
196
00:08:44,909 --> 00:08:46,243
What are on about?
197
00:08:46,277 --> 00:08:47,478
- You on something?
- There.
198
00:08:47,511 --> 00:08:49,747
There she is. She's, uh...
199
00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:51,749
Shit, I didn't get a name.
Who doesn't get a name?
200
00:08:51,782 --> 00:08:54,084
You. We just did whole bit about
how you don't get names.
201
00:08:55,186 --> 00:08:57,154
She knows
Michael Burwell?
202
00:08:57,188 --> 00:08:59,323
- Who?
- The girl I just did a scene with.
203
00:08:59,356 --> 00:09:02,159
Or, like talked to, I guess.
204
00:09:02,193 --> 00:09:02,993
Here, come on.
205
00:09:04,261 --> 00:09:06,330
Cole and Austin.
206
00:09:06,363 --> 00:09:07,765
How does ladybug
know my name?
207
00:09:07,798 --> 00:09:10,000
Did you just call me ladybug?
208
00:09:10,034 --> 00:09:12,836
- You had a ladybug on your shoulder once...
- That was actually Brian.
209
00:09:12,870 --> 00:09:14,939
- Who the hell's Brian? Ah.
- Safari hat guy.
210
00:09:14,972 --> 00:09:17,408
Oh, my God, you guys are
like, so cute together.
211
00:09:17,441 --> 00:09:19,109
Okay, we're going to
do the class selfie,
212
00:09:19,143 --> 00:09:23,747
except we've got this
photography photo snapper.
213
00:09:23,781 --> 00:09:25,249
Some guy who's just
going to take it for us.
214
00:09:25,282 --> 00:09:27,151
- It's going to be so retro.
- Wow, super cool.
215
00:09:27,184 --> 00:09:30,521
Hey, lady... girl.
Do you know who that is?
216
00:09:30,554 --> 00:09:33,057
You know, Burwell is
in US Weekly a lot.
217
00:09:33,090 --> 00:09:35,392
It could be like,
some young actress
218
00:09:35,426 --> 00:09:37,761
Hollywood girlfriend type.
219
00:09:37,795 --> 00:09:38,929
Is Burwell staying near here?
220
00:09:38,963 --> 00:09:40,531
You guys didn't read TMZ?
221
00:09:40,564 --> 00:09:42,933
Acronyms are TMI for him.
222
00:09:42,967 --> 00:09:44,401
Too...
223
00:09:44,435 --> 00:09:46,470
many initials.
224
00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:50,274
Okay, so Burwell relapsed
again since 2004
225
00:09:50,307 --> 00:09:52,009
or whatever ancient year.
226
00:09:52,042 --> 00:09:54,011
Now he's just taking some
time away from Hollywood
227
00:09:54,044 --> 00:09:56,247
so he can detox and
the whole rumor is
228
00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:58,082
is that he's got this
stupidly huge lake house
229
00:09:58,115 --> 00:09:59,483
in Muskoka and he's
just chilling there.
230
00:10:00,351 --> 00:10:03,087
So, can we take this
selfie o-.
231
00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:04,088
O-.
232
00:10:06,824 --> 00:10:09,393
I guess I can't convince you to
take your first reverse selfie?
233
00:10:09,426 --> 00:10:11,895
You'd have more success convincing
me to take my first dick pic.
234
00:10:17,935 --> 00:10:19,370
Shit.
235
00:10:20,337 --> 00:10:21,839
Someone's drunky.
236
00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:24,074
No, no, I just, I hit
the wrong button.
237
00:10:24,975 --> 00:10:27,211
Must have been all
that one sip of alcohol.
238
00:10:28,212 --> 00:10:30,481
Uh, by the way,
I feel like I should
239
00:10:30,514 --> 00:10:33,517
say what I forgot to say
earlier. I'm sane.
240
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:36,120
Sane? What is that? Turkish?
241
00:10:36,153 --> 00:10:38,222
Just the whole me talking
to myself thing.
242
00:10:38,255 --> 00:10:40,891
I'm a writer,
so occupational hazard.
243
00:10:40,924 --> 00:10:44,061
I envision cliché scenes
and then I try and
244
00:10:44,094 --> 00:10:45,562
find a new take on them.
245
00:10:45,596 --> 00:10:47,464
So, that's what I was doing.
246
00:10:47,498 --> 00:10:49,833
Clichés like us running into
each other in the parking lot?
247
00:10:51,135 --> 00:10:52,303
Yeah, that would be a cliché.
248
00:10:53,270 --> 00:10:55,372
And the cliché ending is?
249
00:10:55,406 --> 00:10:57,107
Honestly?
250
00:10:57,141 --> 00:10:58,275
Me getting your number.
251
00:10:58,309 --> 00:11:00,411
Mmm, good one.
252
00:11:00,444 --> 00:11:03,013
Good thing you like to
avoid Clichés, then.
253
00:11:03,047 --> 00:11:05,549
Because I like to avoid
dating writers and if I had
254
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:08,052
your number, then I don't
know where that would go.
255
00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:10,187
So, that means you're not
currently dating, right?
256
00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:13,924
Well, it's nine p.m. and
I'm alone leaving a party
257
00:11:13,957 --> 00:11:15,526
where the only person
I talked to for longer
258
00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:17,928
than 20 seconds was you, so...
259
00:11:21,198 --> 00:11:23,000
I actually never got your name.
260
00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:25,602
Yeah, because you never
asked for it.
261
00:11:26,570 --> 00:11:28,439
Can I get your name?
262
00:11:28,472 --> 00:11:30,240
- Haley.
- Haley?
263
00:11:31,408 --> 00:11:32,576
That's it?
264
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:34,011
Did you expect something?
265
00:11:34,044 --> 00:11:35,312
No, I mean...
266
00:11:36,213 --> 00:11:37,448
That's it?
You're just going to leave?
267
00:11:37,481 --> 00:11:38,949
I got to go rehearse.
268
00:11:39,917 --> 00:11:41,418
Oh, you're an actress?
269
00:11:41,452 --> 00:11:43,020
Singer.
270
00:11:43,053 --> 00:11:45,956
Or a YouTube cover artist,
moonlighting as a
271
00:11:45,989 --> 00:11:47,925
wandery adventure girl
with just a dash
272
00:11:47,958 --> 00:11:49,326
of professional contest winner.
273
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,028
Oh. Cool.
274
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,667
I'm, uh, Cole, by the way.
275
00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:57,468
And as long as we're
padding our resumes,
276
00:11:57,501 --> 00:11:59,503
I do close up magic.
277
00:11:59,536 --> 00:12:01,305
Wow.
278
00:12:01,338 --> 00:12:03,374
I really look forward
to never seeing that.
279
00:12:04,608 --> 00:12:05,442
Okay.
280
00:12:06,477 --> 00:12:07,911
I'll see you.
281
00:12:07,945 --> 00:12:09,279
If it's meant to be, I guess.
282
00:12:54,558 --> 00:12:56,493
Daughter.
283
00:13:09,106 --> 00:13:15,412
♪ There is a house
in New Orleans ♪
284
00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:21,118
♪ They call the Rising Sun ♪
285
00:13:23,620 --> 00:13:30,260
♪ It's been the ruin
of many a poor boy ♪
286
00:13:30,294 --> 00:13:35,332
♪ And me, oh, God, for one ♪
287
00:13:49,346 --> 00:13:50,414
What are we looking at?
288
00:13:51,615 --> 00:13:52,449
I'm...
289
00:13:53,751 --> 00:13:54,919
going to date that girl.
290
00:13:58,790 --> 00:14:00,491
That's an Arby's
down there, man.
291
00:14:02,359 --> 00:14:03,695
Do you know how many
famous screenwriters
292
00:14:03,728 --> 00:14:05,697
were born into the right family?
293
00:14:05,730 --> 00:14:09,266
Efron, Abrams, Lena Dunham,
Landis, Paul Thomas Anderson.
294
00:14:09,299 --> 00:14:10,200
All of them had an in.
295
00:14:10,234 --> 00:14:12,302
I have names, too.
296
00:14:12,336 --> 00:14:15,572
Sorkin, Sterling, Tarantino,
, frigging Michael Burwell!
297
00:14:15,606 --> 00:14:18,308
Did they come up with like,
a weird, hair-brained scheme
298
00:14:18,342 --> 00:14:19,744
or did they do hard work?
299
00:14:21,411 --> 00:14:23,547
I'm seizing an opportunity.
300
00:14:23,580 --> 00:14:25,783
I met the daughter of the
world's greatest screenwriter.
301
00:14:27,351 --> 00:14:29,453
I get close to her,
I get close to him
302
00:14:29,486 --> 00:14:31,255
and then it's like I'm
born into Hollywood royalty
303
00:14:31,288 --> 00:14:33,357
without more than a
few weeks of work.
304
00:14:33,390 --> 00:14:36,159
The work being dating a girl?
305
00:14:36,193 --> 00:14:38,061
No, but you're right.
That's the best part.
306
00:14:38,095 --> 00:14:39,563
Well, second best.
307
00:14:39,596 --> 00:14:42,399
I like this girl, man.
She's cool.
308
00:14:42,432 --> 00:14:43,668
At the end of the day,
it's life experience.
309
00:14:43,701 --> 00:14:45,469
It's what you're saying
my writing always needs.
310
00:14:45,502 --> 00:14:47,672
No, no, no, no, no, no.
This is not life experience.
311
00:14:47,705 --> 00:14:50,207
This is every shitty
rom-com where a guy
312
00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:51,642
makes a bet and he has
to sleep with the girl
313
00:14:51,676 --> 00:14:53,811
and then the girl finds
out and there's like,
314
00:14:53,845 --> 00:14:55,512
an exotic animal pet
and I feel like
315
00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:56,814
they always go on a rafting
trip for some reason.
316
00:14:56,848 --> 00:14:58,850
No, no, no.
That's not how I'll write it.
317
00:14:58,883 --> 00:15:01,318
No Clichés, no bullshit.
318
00:15:01,351 --> 00:15:02,553
I'll write a romantic comedy
319
00:15:02,586 --> 00:15:05,589
that plays out to
be... irresistible.
320
00:15:05,622 --> 00:15:07,591
Then why can't you just
message her on Facebook?
321
00:15:07,624 --> 00:15:08,559
Because.
322
00:15:10,460 --> 00:15:12,697
I have an opportunity here to
write my own first impression,
323
00:15:12,730 --> 00:15:14,799
well, second, I guess,
but whatever.
324
00:15:14,832 --> 00:15:16,633
Help me learn to be a real boy.
325
00:15:18,268 --> 00:15:19,704
Fine.
326
00:15:19,737 --> 00:15:21,505
I would love to see
you be a real boy.
327
00:15:22,674 --> 00:15:24,241
Vodka seven, please.
328
00:15:24,274 --> 00:15:25,642
Make that two.
329
00:15:25,677 --> 00:15:27,377
So, vodka 14.
330
00:15:28,312 --> 00:15:30,280
Page one character
re-write, huh?
331
00:15:30,314 --> 00:15:32,784
Oh, I figure I'm out
of school now, so,
332
00:15:32,817 --> 00:15:35,820
as of today I have nothing to
rebel against, so I can drink.
333
00:15:35,853 --> 00:15:38,589
You know usually people
drink in order to rebel
334
00:15:38,622 --> 00:15:40,692
instead of rebelling
against drinking,
335
00:15:40,725 --> 00:15:42,326
but what the heck, let's go.
336
00:15:43,728 --> 00:15:47,130
- Mmm, this tastes like dirt.
- It's pepper.
337
00:15:47,164 --> 00:15:50,334
Uh, you being 22, never having
been in a relationship,
338
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:51,635
I don't feel like that's
going to sell for you
339
00:15:51,669 --> 00:15:54,906
as a character or like a
carbon-based life form.
340
00:15:54,939 --> 00:15:56,273
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
341
00:15:56,306 --> 00:15:57,641
I been with girls, all right?
342
00:15:57,675 --> 00:15:58,910
You, on the other hand,
I don't think
343
00:15:58,943 --> 00:16:00,577
I've ever seen you
once do any part
344
00:16:00,611 --> 00:16:02,446
of the baseball analogy
with anybody.
345
00:16:02,479 --> 00:16:03,848
Been with people.
346
00:16:03,881 --> 00:16:06,918
Because even like a bad,
loose assorted Jello
347
00:16:06,951 --> 00:16:09,687
wouldn't go 22 years without
accidentally dating someone.
348
00:16:10,822 --> 00:16:12,589
So you cut to this.
349
00:16:12,623 --> 00:16:13,925
We've had lots of drinks.
350
00:16:13,958 --> 00:16:15,359
We have had a lot to drink.
351
00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:17,194
I know, but this
is too Hollywood.
352
00:16:17,227 --> 00:16:19,262
This is what I'm saying.
353
00:16:19,296 --> 00:16:21,398
Like, the waiter would
have taken our glass away
354
00:16:21,431 --> 00:16:23,500
when we got another
drink, right?
355
00:16:23,533 --> 00:16:25,569
So why are they all still here?
356
00:16:25,602 --> 00:16:27,437
That's just bad service.
357
00:16:27,471 --> 00:16:29,406
Like, in real life...
358
00:16:29,439 --> 00:16:30,407
Is this not that?
359
00:16:31,943 --> 00:16:33,644
All right.
360
00:16:33,678 --> 00:16:35,747
Enough of this sad,
quirky, in your head shit.
361
00:16:35,780 --> 00:16:38,649
If you think you can
pull off the straight,
362
00:16:38,683 --> 00:16:42,152
white, leading male thing
and maintain it,
363
00:16:42,987 --> 00:16:43,788
give it a shot.
364
00:16:46,356 --> 00:16:48,425
This place is pretty dead, man.
365
00:16:49,593 --> 00:16:52,596
All right, I'll do it. You don't
think I'll do it? I'll do it.
366
00:16:54,398 --> 00:16:56,734
Hey, how's it going? I'm cool.
367
00:16:56,768 --> 00:16:59,636
- That's your line?
- Stay in character, man, that's my name.
368
00:16:59,671 --> 00:17:01,405
- Cool?
- Did I say cool?
369
00:17:01,438 --> 00:17:02,907
Crushing it, just
pretend it's me.
370
00:17:02,940 --> 00:17:04,541
It is you, just...
371
00:17:05,743 --> 00:17:08,578
- Hey, how are you? I'm cool.
- So, you're having a stroke?
372
00:17:08,612 --> 00:17:10,213
No, I'm keeping
my hands to myself.
373
00:17:10,247 --> 00:17:11,749
Your skin is so soft.
374
00:17:13,250 --> 00:17:14,184
It's like, uh...
375
00:17:15,419 --> 00:17:18,555
newborn calf skin.
376
00:17:18,588 --> 00:17:20,692
- That is so sweet.
- Ew, what?
377
00:17:21,558 --> 00:17:23,593
- No, that's weird.
- Yeah, it's weird.
378
00:17:23,627 --> 00:17:25,930
How many newborn calves
am I touching?
379
00:17:25,963 --> 00:17:28,331
Is a calf a cow?
Is lamb a sheep?
380
00:17:28,365 --> 00:17:29,767
These are the things
that I'm wondering now.
381
00:17:32,569 --> 00:17:34,772
I love your laugh.
It's like a...
382
00:17:36,908 --> 00:17:38,843
well, all I'm thinking about is sheep now.
383
00:17:38,876 --> 00:17:41,511
Where do you look when
you talk to someone?
384
00:17:41,545 --> 00:17:42,345
Their eyes?
385
00:17:44,548 --> 00:17:45,750
No, that doesn't sound right.
386
00:17:45,783 --> 00:17:47,652
I don't like this cup.
Give me your cup.
387
00:17:47,685 --> 00:17:49,020
I want to hold your cup.
388
00:17:49,053 --> 00:17:51,321
That's a better vibe.
I like that more.
389
00:17:51,354 --> 00:17:52,422
That one's no fun.
390
00:17:52,456 --> 00:17:54,491
- Ew.
- Yuck.
391
00:17:54,524 --> 00:17:56,661
I been dealing with
that all night.
392
00:17:56,694 --> 00:17:58,595
- I'm going to teach you something.
- Okay.
393
00:17:58,628 --> 00:18:00,932
It's called the Clooney,
and it's my favorite move.
394
00:18:00,965 --> 00:18:03,533
- So, you're going to look up, down and back up.
- Okay.
395
00:18:03,567 --> 00:18:05,268
So I look up, look down
and look back up.
396
00:18:05,302 --> 00:18:06,871
Less with the head, though.
Just with the eyes.
397
00:18:06,904 --> 00:18:09,272
Are you supposed to tap
a girl on the back
398
00:18:09,306 --> 00:18:11,776
when you hug her, like,
is it like a...
399
00:18:11,809 --> 00:18:14,277
Who do I see if
I have to sneeze?
400
00:18:19,549 --> 00:18:21,318
- Oh, thank God.
- Okay, I'm looking down.
401
00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:22,053
- Back up.
- Look back up.
402
00:18:22,086 --> 00:18:22,987
I'll open my eyes, though.
403
00:18:23,020 --> 00:18:23,988
- Eyes open.
- Okay.
404
00:18:24,021 --> 00:18:25,455
- Whole time.
- Look down.
405
00:18:25,489 --> 00:18:26,490
- Look back up.
- Look back up.
406
00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:27,859
That's good, that's really good.
407
00:18:27,892 --> 00:18:29,794
- Was that okay?
- That is charming.
408
00:18:29,827 --> 00:18:31,528
- Oh, thanks, man.
- Do that to her dad, too.
409
00:18:31,561 --> 00:18:32,395
Whose dad?
410
00:18:35,099 --> 00:18:36,734
Oh, that was a good
research session.
411
00:18:37,835 --> 00:18:39,971
Research session.
412
00:18:40,004 --> 00:18:43,640
- I feel like I was able to step inside myself.
- Welcome to drink.
413
00:18:43,674 --> 00:18:45,777
But it was like when I'm writing a
character and the pages are flowing,
414
00:18:45,810 --> 00:18:48,679
I could just live it, you know?
415
00:18:48,713 --> 00:18:49,981
Just live it.
416
00:18:50,014 --> 00:18:51,816
Those are fun.
417
00:18:51,849 --> 00:18:53,718
You're fun.
418
00:18:53,751 --> 00:18:55,452
- And you are living.
- Mmm hmm.
419
00:18:55,485 --> 00:18:56,921
- And I am happy.
- Mmm.
420
00:18:56,954 --> 00:18:58,388
And it is good!
421
00:18:59,422 --> 00:19:01,458
Come back, I need an adult!
422
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:09,767
Boy...
423
00:19:10,768 --> 00:19:11,601
meets...
424
00:19:12,636 --> 00:19:13,436
girl.
425
00:19:15,372 --> 00:19:16,606
Going to need a meet-cute.
426
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:17,574
Vanilla chai latte.
427
00:19:17,607 --> 00:19:18,375
That's mine!
428
00:19:20,577 --> 00:19:23,114
Oh, it's got
to be more original.
429
00:19:23,147 --> 00:19:25,049
Yeah, not in
your head with you, buddy.
430
00:19:25,082 --> 00:19:27,417
The park where I meet the girl,
431
00:19:27,450 --> 00:19:28,820
I need to like,
432
00:19:29,754 --> 00:19:33,590
trap her
in a web of delightfulness.
433
00:19:33,623 --> 00:19:36,661
Oh, so this is like a
most dangerous game type scenario.
434
00:19:36,694 --> 00:19:38,062
Um, how's that?
435
00:19:38,095 --> 00:19:39,864
Well, instead
of hunting man,
436
00:19:39,897 --> 00:19:42,133
you're hunting a relationship
with a woman
437
00:19:42,166 --> 00:19:44,836
that, well, that you're
actually also hunting.
438
00:19:45,837 --> 00:19:48,706
- That's actually not a bad idea.
- No, it's a bad idea.
439
00:19:48,739 --> 00:19:52,609
It's a very bad idea. You're planning
a heist targeting a human woman.
440
00:19:52,642 --> 00:19:54,879
Oh, I kind of like that.
441
00:19:55,980 --> 00:19:58,749
So, for hunting, I track her.
442
00:19:58,783 --> 00:20:00,952
Instead of footprints,
there's Twitter,
443
00:20:00,985 --> 00:20:04,755
Instagram, Facebook
all that stuff,
444
00:20:04,789 --> 00:20:07,624
and then all I got to do is meet her
and then like you said, it's a heist.
445
00:20:07,658 --> 00:20:10,962
So I learn the routine,
and then we do
446
00:20:10,995 --> 00:20:13,865
the montage where I set
up the plan, naturally.
447
00:20:13,898 --> 00:20:16,701
And then I date her,
if she wants to,
448
00:20:16,734 --> 00:20:19,904
but why wouldn't she want to?
449
00:20:19,937 --> 00:20:23,473
♪ The devil who knows that ♪
450
00:20:23,506 --> 00:20:27,144
♪ The run from my honest face ♪
451
00:20:28,478 --> 00:20:30,647
♪ I'm looking for you ♪
452
00:20:46,797 --> 00:20:50,034
♪ I got myself worse ♪
453
00:20:50,067 --> 00:20:53,503
♪ To recommend first ♪
454
00:20:53,536 --> 00:20:58,441
♪ Came like an angel's curse ♪
455
00:20:58,475 --> 00:21:00,510
♪ I'm better, you see ♪
456
00:21:03,513 --> 00:21:06,784
♪ I'm buffalo now and ♪
457
00:21:06,817 --> 00:21:10,121
♪ Horses run in and ♪
458
00:21:10,154 --> 00:21:13,691
♪ Anything as you want ♪
459
00:21:16,894 --> 00:21:23,200
♪ You want it all for yourself ♪
460
00:21:38,883 --> 00:21:40,184
- Are you...
- You go.
461
00:21:40,217 --> 00:21:41,986
Oh, yeah, thanks, thanks.
462
00:21:42,019 --> 00:21:44,221
Hey! Hi, hiya.
463
00:21:44,255 --> 00:21:46,489
Hey, can I grab
a mac and cheese, please?
464
00:21:46,523 --> 00:21:47,658
Thanks, thank you.
465
00:21:48,926 --> 00:21:51,062
Oh, I'll have what she's having.
466
00:21:51,095 --> 00:21:52,629
Literally, in a food sense.
467
00:22:05,910 --> 00:22:09,512
Ah, I'm sorry, I'm such a klutz.
468
00:22:09,546 --> 00:22:10,681
Here, keep the change, thanks.
469
00:22:16,821 --> 00:22:17,655
Thanks.
470
00:22:32,069 --> 00:22:34,772
Hey, guess who just got
a face full of keychain?
471
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:38,676
No, it's not a euphemism.
472
00:22:38,709 --> 00:22:40,778
Yeah, remember that poster
we saw and it was about
473
00:22:40,811 --> 00:22:43,014
how if you find a
keychain you win a prize?
474
00:22:45,216 --> 00:22:47,284
Yeah, I don't know.
I think it's a trip to Miami.
475
00:22:48,352 --> 00:22:50,721
I mean, it's a keychain
in a bowl of macaroni.
476
00:22:50,755 --> 00:22:52,089
It's got to be something
good, right?
477
00:22:54,258 --> 00:22:55,659
Yeah, yeah.
478
00:22:56,360 --> 00:22:58,662
Uh... Hey.
479
00:22:59,697 --> 00:23:00,630
This was in my food.
480
00:23:00,664 --> 00:23:03,100
Oh, honey.
481
00:23:03,134 --> 00:23:04,902
That's not supposed to happen.
482
00:23:04,935 --> 00:23:07,171
I'm so sorry. Was...
483
00:23:07,204 --> 00:23:08,906
- That's not mine.
- No, I wasn't...
484
00:23:08,939 --> 00:23:10,274
Oh, that's weird.
I won, too.
485
00:23:10,307 --> 00:23:12,209
That's crazy, I never
won anything before.
486
00:23:14,111 --> 00:23:17,081
I mean, I'm a professional
contest winner, but...
487
00:23:17,114 --> 00:23:18,082
So, what do we win?
488
00:23:18,115 --> 00:23:20,217
I'm not sure quite
489
00:23:20,251 --> 00:23:23,921
what prize you're talking about
or if you're talking...
490
00:23:23,954 --> 00:23:25,656
Maybe we just get the keychain.
491
00:23:25,689 --> 00:23:28,225
What, no, come on. A keychain?
492
00:23:28,259 --> 00:23:32,963
I can get a manager,
unless I'm the manager.
493
00:23:34,265 --> 00:23:37,001
Have you really never won anything
before, you loserey loser.
494
00:23:37,034 --> 00:23:39,170
I won a spelling bee
once as a kid, but,
495
00:23:39,203 --> 00:23:42,639
the word was gum, and I spelled it with two 'M's.
496
00:23:42,673 --> 00:23:44,875
I... They gave it to me, but I had to
fake a stutter for like, five years.
497
00:23:46,343 --> 00:23:48,312
What if I give you kids
gift cards
498
00:23:48,345 --> 00:23:50,281
to stop spooking me?
499
00:23:50,314 --> 00:23:52,183
We don't want your
pity gift cards.
500
00:23:52,216 --> 00:23:54,752
I could go for a gift card.
501
00:23:54,785 --> 00:23:56,619
This is like the only
place that I come.
502
00:23:56,654 --> 00:23:57,587
I know, but I mix...
503
00:23:59,256 --> 00:24:01,659
I mean, I, I don't know
that you come here.
504
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:04,929
You know what?
I've got a great idea.
505
00:24:04,962 --> 00:24:06,363
We're going to go
to a place I know and get
506
00:24:06,397 --> 00:24:07,698
a fitting prize that we deserve.
507
00:24:07,731 --> 00:24:08,699
Follow me.
508
00:24:10,734 --> 00:24:12,203
Thank you, thanks.
509
00:24:12,236 --> 00:24:14,738
There's a question that's
begging to be asked.
510
00:24:14,772 --> 00:24:16,907
Was the cashier having
an aneurysm?
511
00:24:16,941 --> 00:24:18,943
She was a bit aneurismy, yeah.
512
00:24:18,976 --> 00:24:21,178
Aneurismysh?
513
00:24:21,212 --> 00:24:23,047
Aneurhythmic?
514
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:24,215
- Aneurhythmic.
- Aneurhythmic.
515
00:24:24,248 --> 00:24:25,850
- Yes.
- I like that.
516
00:24:25,883 --> 00:24:27,651
It's when you go from
dropping sick beats to...
517
00:24:27,685 --> 00:24:30,921
- To having seizures in the street.
- Yeah.
518
00:24:30,955 --> 00:24:32,289
I was another question.
519
00:24:32,323 --> 00:24:34,925
Um, have I seen you in
the news on account
520
00:24:34,959 --> 00:24:36,894
of being like, I don't
know, like a serial killer?
521
00:24:36,927 --> 00:24:38,896
Something like that, that
I shouldn't be following,
522
00:24:38,929 --> 00:24:40,331
because you look really
familiar.
523
00:24:40,364 --> 00:24:42,766
Serial killer, me?
524
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:44,135
You know, of all the
things people say about me
525
00:24:44,168 --> 00:24:46,036
I don't think that's
one of them.
526
00:24:46,070 --> 00:24:48,405
Oh, why? Because all those
people are at the bottom
527
00:24:48,439 --> 00:24:50,774
- of a lake somewhere?
- Yeah, yeah.
528
00:24:50,808 --> 00:24:53,010
After snitching, they deserved
to be serial killed anyway.
529
00:24:53,043 --> 00:24:54,278
Yeah, everyone's
always snitching
530
00:24:54,311 --> 00:24:55,679
on the local serial killer.
531
00:24:55,713 --> 00:24:57,414
- Right.
- It's like, get a job.
532
00:24:57,448 --> 00:24:59,850
Serial killer has one.
He serial kills for a living.
533
00:24:59,884 --> 00:25:01,152
Other peoples' dime.
534
00:25:01,185 --> 00:25:03,787
But yeah, you kind of
look familiar, too.
535
00:25:03,821 --> 00:25:07,725
What would you say if I
picked you out a great album?
536
00:25:07,758 --> 00:25:11,095
Mmm, I would say,
good luck finding me one
537
00:25:11,128 --> 00:25:14,165
that I haven't shoved
obsessively down my earholes
538
00:25:14,198 --> 00:25:17,801
except I would say it
in a less weird way.
539
00:25:17,835 --> 00:25:18,903
So, you're into music?
540
00:25:20,304 --> 00:25:23,207
Okay, golden, I love
playing the meet-cute
541
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:25,209
fantasy game as much as
anybody, but it's just
542
00:25:25,242 --> 00:25:27,278
really starting to feel like
you're not playing along.
543
00:25:27,311 --> 00:25:31,815
It's Cole, actually,
and you are... Harley,
544
00:25:31,849 --> 00:25:34,084
- from the grad party.
- Haley.
545
00:25:34,118 --> 00:25:36,053
I would consider changing
it to Harley.
546
00:25:42,493 --> 00:25:43,327
Heard it?
547
00:25:45,996 --> 00:25:48,933
Uh... I don't think so.
548
00:25:48,966 --> 00:25:50,834
Well, then I'm
buying it for you.
549
00:25:52,903 --> 00:25:55,039
What...
550
00:25:56,273 --> 00:25:57,141
Ah, Joni.
551
00:26:01,145 --> 00:26:04,048
That's a... Yup,
exact change. Thank you.
552
00:26:05,449 --> 00:26:07,851
Right, okay... wait, I didn't,
553
00:26:07,885 --> 00:26:09,320
you also won this contest,
so I guess I got to
554
00:26:09,353 --> 00:26:11,989
snag you a cool prizey, too.
555
00:26:12,022 --> 00:26:14,925
Hmm, tell you what.
556
00:26:14,959 --> 00:26:16,293
Let me show you a magic trick.
557
00:26:17,428 --> 00:26:19,897
Okay, magic, nice.
558
00:26:19,930 --> 00:26:22,833
Um, I hope it's the latter
half of now you see me.
559
00:26:22,866 --> 00:26:23,901
Mmm.
560
00:26:28,939 --> 00:26:30,241
Wow.
561
00:26:30,274 --> 00:26:31,442
Riveting.
562
00:26:31,475 --> 00:26:32,376
I've seen that one before.
563
00:26:32,409 --> 00:26:34,011
It's called, uh...
564
00:26:34,044 --> 00:26:35,412
bullshit.
565
00:26:35,446 --> 00:26:38,415
It's a simple charm, and
you'll see its effects
566
00:26:38,449 --> 00:26:39,350
soon enough.
567
00:26:43,354 --> 00:26:46,056
Oh, wait, hold on.
You're just...
568
00:26:46,090 --> 00:26:48,859
Again you're just
not going to ask for my number?
569
00:26:49,526 --> 00:26:52,062
Oh, you'll get
my number if it's,
570
00:26:52,096 --> 00:26:53,831
what were your words?
571
00:26:53,864 --> 00:26:55,366
Meant to be.
572
00:26:57,234 --> 00:26:59,403
Okay, so about this
writers room internship
573
00:26:59,436 --> 00:27:02,306
I got on the amazing show
that you hate for some reason.
574
00:27:02,339 --> 00:27:04,975
Yeah, yeah, yeah, one sec, um.
575
00:27:05,009 --> 00:27:06,410
One of the notes that
you had was that
576
00:27:06,443 --> 00:27:09,446
the main character being in
every scene was too much.
577
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:13,417
Yeah, he's an acquired taste. It's like
that purple ketchup that you and I like
578
00:27:13,450 --> 00:27:16,387
that no one else did. So,
maybe leave room for some normal people,
579
00:27:16,420 --> 00:27:19,990
capable of human conversation
about the amazing internship I got.
580
00:27:20,024 --> 00:27:22,860
I feel like Burwell's going
to get this when he reads it.
581
00:27:22,893 --> 00:27:25,863
Not that I'm ignoring whatever it is you're th...
582
00:27:25,896 --> 00:27:27,564
- No, you know, who cares?
- Oh, shit!
583
00:27:27,598 --> 00:27:29,199
Oh, this is her. Ah. This is it.
584
00:27:33,537 --> 00:27:35,172
Hello?
585
00:27:35,205 --> 00:27:36,240
Your charm was
successful.
586
00:27:38,075 --> 00:27:40,177
Yeah, but, uh, this is
why I hate magic,
587
00:27:40,210 --> 00:27:42,313
because now I can't stop
thinking about how you did it.
588
00:27:42,346 --> 00:27:45,015
Well, maybe you should be enjoying
the sounds of Joni Mitchell instead.
589
00:27:45,049 --> 00:27:48,152
I would be except the nine
in your phone number just
590
00:27:48,185 --> 00:27:51,255
completely obliterated
"the Circle Game,"
591
00:27:51,288 --> 00:27:55,159
and now it's just going
round and round and round
592
00:27:55,192 --> 00:27:55,993
- in "the Circle Game."
- Oh, come on.
593
00:27:59,129 --> 00:28:01,999
Or you know, just ignore
my best joke.
594
00:28:02,667 --> 00:28:05,336
- You never heard of "the Circle Game?"
- No, I have.
595
00:28:05,369 --> 00:28:07,905
- But you said that you haven't.
- Yeah, well, I lied.
596
00:28:07,938 --> 00:28:11,275
It's one of my all-time favorite songs.
Except you pulling out that record
597
00:28:11,308 --> 00:28:13,243
was just too perfect for me
to ruin it with my truth.
598
00:28:17,448 --> 00:28:20,050
Whenever I hear this song,
599
00:28:20,084 --> 00:28:22,453
makes me feel like I'm exactly
where I'm supposed to be.
600
00:28:22,486 --> 00:28:24,088
Really?
601
00:28:24,121 --> 00:28:26,523
I always feel like I
should be somewhere else.
602
00:28:26,557 --> 00:28:29,360
Like, last week, I was
at this Mexican girl's
603
00:28:29,393 --> 00:28:31,195
Quinceañera and her family
kept telling me
604
00:28:31,228 --> 00:28:32,429
to get out of the buffet line.
605
00:28:32,463 --> 00:28:34,365
I don't know, Cole.
606
00:28:34,398 --> 00:28:35,999
There's something about
good music that just makes me
607
00:28:36,033 --> 00:28:38,202
want to be serious
and not at all bantery.
608
00:28:40,170 --> 00:28:41,405
So what do you think
the song means?
609
00:28:42,940 --> 00:28:45,476
"We're captive on the
carousel of time."
610
00:28:47,344 --> 00:28:50,914
"We can't return, we can only
look behind from where we came."
611
00:28:53,117 --> 00:28:56,553
I think she's saying that if we look
too far ahead then we just miss life.
612
00:28:57,722 --> 00:29:00,090
Or it could mean that we
should prepare for the future.
613
00:29:01,258 --> 00:29:03,661
Influence your own story,
that way you can write your own life.
614
00:29:03,695 --> 00:29:06,163
Isn't that kind of the
warning of it, though?
615
00:29:07,231 --> 00:29:10,467
You know, promises of
someday make his dreams.
616
00:29:10,501 --> 00:29:13,404
I don't know, I feel like that whole
round and round part means that...
617
00:29:14,471 --> 00:29:16,674
we're bound to make the same
mistakes over and over again, so.
618
00:29:17,574 --> 00:29:19,376
Seems a bit defeatist
for Joni, but I mean,
619
00:29:19,410 --> 00:29:22,312
if we're going to go with my
whole living in the now thing,
620
00:29:22,346 --> 00:29:23,647
I could ask you on a date.
621
00:29:24,548 --> 00:29:25,916
Oh.
622
00:29:27,217 --> 00:29:28,252
Because, you know, I had like
sort of this whole thing planned,
623
00:29:28,285 --> 00:29:30,154
but, uh, that's cool.
624
00:29:35,259 --> 00:29:38,028
Ah. Imagine that going in.
That would have been a cool moment.
625
00:29:38,061 --> 00:29:41,064
So, you're throwing
away Act I of your plan?
626
00:29:41,098 --> 00:29:42,533
What? No, dude.
627
00:29:42,566 --> 00:29:44,601
Act I was a slam dunk.
628
00:29:44,635 --> 00:29:47,739
Okay, buddy. A slam dunk is not
when you throw something
629
00:29:47,772 --> 00:29:49,606
from across the room.
630
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:52,309
- And definitely not if you miss.
- All right, you know what?
631
00:29:52,342 --> 00:29:53,277
You're really killing
the vibes here, Aus.
632
00:29:54,478 --> 00:29:55,579
- Tin.
- Austin.
633
00:29:55,612 --> 00:29:57,080
Austin. Austin's better, yeah.
634
00:30:03,353 --> 00:30:06,523
Whoa, this place is
spectacatac.
635
00:30:06,557 --> 00:30:10,227
It's like an epic church
out of some groovy rom-com.
636
00:30:10,260 --> 00:30:12,730
Yeah, it's where the girl
runs to at the climax
637
00:30:12,764 --> 00:30:14,631
to be alone and she's
wearing some, like,
638
00:30:14,666 --> 00:30:16,600
weird Alice In Wonderland
looking bullshit,
639
00:30:16,633 --> 00:30:18,469
and the guy knows she's
there because obviously,
640
00:30:18,502 --> 00:30:19,570
they're meant to be
together and they've
641
00:30:19,603 --> 00:30:21,205
already established
that location.
642
00:30:22,272 --> 00:30:23,507
Sounds lame.
643
00:30:23,540 --> 00:30:25,175
Like a crippling cliché.
644
00:30:27,812 --> 00:30:30,514
I wanted to do not coffee.
645
00:30:30,547 --> 00:30:34,084
Right, and we've already done,
uh, graduation, record store...
646
00:30:34,117 --> 00:30:36,520
So the logical next step
was escape room.
647
00:30:36,553 --> 00:30:40,591
Oh, great. Is this is the thing
where you escape the room, or...
648
00:30:40,624 --> 00:30:43,460
That makes way more sense
than what I thought it was.
649
00:30:43,494 --> 00:30:45,162
Hi, we hear you have
snakes to pet?
650
00:30:45,195 --> 00:30:47,097
No, that's not right.
651
00:30:47,130 --> 00:30:48,165
Is it not.
652
00:30:48,198 --> 00:30:49,734
No, we want to escape a room.
653
00:30:49,767 --> 00:30:51,401
- Yes, that's right.
- Is this your first time?
654
00:30:51,435 --> 00:30:53,637
Well, I've escaped rooms before.
655
00:30:53,671 --> 00:30:56,306
Uh, for example, I had to
escape a room to get here
656
00:30:56,340 --> 00:30:59,309
and I assume to leave this place,
I'll have to escape a room.
657
00:30:59,343 --> 00:31:00,444
Okay, so no.
658
00:31:01,445 --> 00:31:02,579
And can I get the name
you're reserved under?
659
00:31:02,613 --> 00:31:05,115
We did not make a reservation.
660
00:31:05,148 --> 00:31:06,483
A friend of ours says
to live in the now.
661
00:31:07,584 --> 00:31:08,452
Well.
662
00:31:09,620 --> 00:31:10,521
We're fully booked.
663
00:31:12,222 --> 00:31:14,591
There's like, there's like
five people here.
664
00:31:14,625 --> 00:31:18,562
They're... They're in the escape
rooms, trying to escape.
665
00:31:20,130 --> 00:31:24,234
Right. Uh, well, that's fine,
because we didn't want to play anyway,
666
00:31:24,268 --> 00:31:26,704
we just wanted to
see how it worked.
667
00:31:26,738 --> 00:31:28,639
- Uh, we have a coffee date to get to, so.
- Yes.
668
00:31:28,673 --> 00:31:30,708
If you want, I could
make you a reservation.
669
00:31:30,742 --> 00:31:32,744
Can you make the reservation
for now?
670
00:31:32,777 --> 00:31:34,511
We have availability in...
671
00:31:35,847 --> 00:31:37,548
September.
672
00:31:37,581 --> 00:31:40,584
Like the September that
is three months from now?
673
00:31:40,617 --> 00:31:43,186
We're very popular. Chose the
right place to come to.
674
00:31:43,220 --> 00:31:45,455
- Should we make it?
- I don't know.
675
00:31:45,489 --> 00:31:48,258
What did Joni say about
promises of someday, hmm?
676
00:31:48,292 --> 00:31:50,527
I think she said never
admit date defeat,
677
00:31:50,561 --> 00:31:52,764
in which case, we'll say that
we came here for a reason
678
00:31:52,797 --> 00:31:54,498
and that reason is...
679
00:31:57,200 --> 00:31:58,803
To reserve for September.
Yeah, we'll take it.
680
00:31:58,836 --> 00:32:00,337
You can also book online.
681
00:32:00,370 --> 00:32:01,538
Oh, madam, you've been
far from helpful.
682
00:32:01,572 --> 00:32:02,740
Please don't start now.
683
00:32:04,709 --> 00:32:07,210
All right, escape room
was a bit of failure,
684
00:32:07,244 --> 00:32:09,546
but I'm going to re-write this
date with simplicity and ease.
685
00:32:10,848 --> 00:32:12,282
I mean, not re-write,
I'm going to...
686
00:32:12,316 --> 00:32:13,851
Can I help you?
687
00:32:13,885 --> 00:32:15,753
Uh, yeah, can we
get two ice creams?
688
00:32:15,787 --> 00:32:18,188
We're
actually out of ice cream.
689
00:32:18,221 --> 00:32:20,758
How do you?
You're an ice cream store.
690
00:32:20,792 --> 00:32:23,795
- We didn't want any, anyway.
- You just asked for ice cream.
691
00:32:23,828 --> 00:32:27,699
No, we didn't.
We said could we get some.
692
00:32:27,732 --> 00:32:30,267
- Drive, go, drive.
- I need to stop making plans.
693
00:32:30,300 --> 00:32:31,234
Yeah, you do.
694
00:32:32,169 --> 00:32:33,103
Oh, shit, turn here.
695
00:32:37,307 --> 00:32:40,310
This moment brought to you
by Joni's famous words...
696
00:32:41,679 --> 00:32:43,513
- never admit date defeat.
- Mmm.
697
00:32:44,916 --> 00:32:46,283
- Birthday cake?
- Pistacio.
698
00:32:46,316 --> 00:32:47,284
Gross.
699
00:32:50,755 --> 00:32:52,389
- Neapolitan.
- Rocky road.
700
00:32:52,422 --> 00:32:53,423
- Never.
- Serious?
701
00:32:56,961 --> 00:32:57,795
Um...
702
00:32:58,930 --> 00:32:59,764
Vanilla?
703
00:33:05,636 --> 00:33:07,604
No, we've been lost for
like, a good 20 minutes.
704
00:33:07,638 --> 00:33:09,406
I just figured if we
could, at least,
705
00:33:09,439 --> 00:33:11,508
get to the cathedral
with some ice cream,
706
00:33:11,541 --> 00:33:14,244
- then maybe...
- You know, I'll just eat this anywhere at this point.
707
00:33:14,277 --> 00:33:16,914
While it's still ice
and not just cream.
708
00:33:16,948 --> 00:33:17,782
Okay.
709
00:33:18,950 --> 00:33:21,653
- Oh, shitty wow.
- What?
710
00:33:21,686 --> 00:33:23,253
Close your eyes, quick.
711
00:33:23,286 --> 00:33:24,621
It's not ideal while
I'm driving.
712
00:33:24,656 --> 00:33:26,456
I mean, sorry, just
look, look away,
713
00:33:26,490 --> 00:33:28,860
- and I'll pull in this steery thing.
- Okay.
714
00:33:28,893 --> 00:33:30,862
- And we're just going to park.
- Okay.
715
00:33:30,895 --> 00:33:31,528
Okay.
716
00:33:33,497 --> 00:33:35,432
Totally nutso. Okay, don't peek.
717
00:33:35,465 --> 00:33:36,668
- Okay. I'm not going to peek.
- Let's go.
718
00:33:41,973 --> 00:33:44,508
I mean, what the hell, right?
719
00:33:45,575 --> 00:33:47,477
Wow, the shoe tree.
720
00:33:48,645 --> 00:33:50,247
Oh, no.
721
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:51,749
You've been here before? What?
722
00:33:54,384 --> 00:33:55,887
All right, where do you want to eat?
Next to the muddy boots
723
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:57,689
or the hepatitis covered
sandals?
724
00:33:57,722 --> 00:33:59,991
No, no, you don't get
to change topic, mister.
725
00:34:00,024 --> 00:34:01,826
What the hell significance
does a tree
726
00:34:01,859 --> 00:34:02,860
covered in shoes have to you?
727
00:34:02,894 --> 00:34:03,828
It doesn't.
728
00:34:03,861 --> 00:34:04,696
It's...
729
00:34:05,963 --> 00:34:07,597
I don't know, it's nothing.
My...
730
00:34:09,266 --> 00:34:10,500
Austin and I, we
go camping a lot.
731
00:34:10,534 --> 00:34:12,003
We have to drive up north,
732
00:34:12,036 --> 00:34:14,471
and every time we pass
this tree, he wants to stop
733
00:34:14,504 --> 00:34:16,841
and talk about life and I
just want to get up there
734
00:34:16,874 --> 00:34:18,710
and have ice cream time.
735
00:34:20,477 --> 00:34:21,511
So, I guess you don't
like to talk about
736
00:34:21,545 --> 00:34:22,914
anything of consequence, then?
737
00:34:24,782 --> 00:34:27,617
There's consequences to
things of consequence.
738
00:34:36,694 --> 00:34:37,494
Spoons?
739
00:34:39,063 --> 00:34:41,766
- Fuckity.
- Wow.
740
00:34:41,799 --> 00:34:44,334
This is a classic date gone
wrong fiasco, isn't it?
741
00:34:45,335 --> 00:34:48,472
I was really hoping to make a
better third first impression.
742
00:34:48,505 --> 00:34:51,843
It doesn't have to be all
cute parking lot run-ins and
743
00:34:51,876 --> 00:34:53,610
bakery koinky-dinks.
744
00:34:54,879 --> 00:34:56,580
Yeah, but then I
could be anyone.
745
00:34:58,648 --> 00:35:00,417
Or you could just try being you.
746
00:35:01,919 --> 00:35:03,788
I just had all these things
planned out, you know,
747
00:35:03,821 --> 00:35:07,058
funny things I was going to say,
how I was going to end the date,
748
00:35:07,091 --> 00:35:09,526
call backs I was going to
use for the second date
749
00:35:09,559 --> 00:35:11,763
and now I'm just kind of like
floundering in this void...
750
00:35:11,796 --> 00:35:13,363
Shh, shut up.
751
00:35:29,579 --> 00:35:31,883
Sorry. Just, you know, first
kisses are, uh...
752
00:35:33,050 --> 00:35:34,986
there's like, a template to it.
753
00:35:35,019 --> 00:35:36,821
At first it's like, oh it's
this really great moment
754
00:35:36,854 --> 00:35:38,022
but in reality, it's
just two people
755
00:35:38,055 --> 00:35:39,657
squishing their mouths together.
756
00:35:42,526 --> 00:35:43,627
- I, uh...
- Just...
757
00:35:44,762 --> 00:35:45,562
live.
758
00:36:03,748 --> 00:36:06,951
Part of me still thinks like a
modern-day less problematic Woody Allen.
759
00:36:08,820 --> 00:36:10,087
I would never swipe
right on someone who
760
00:36:10,121 --> 00:36:11,621
swipes right on me,
but this girl
761
00:36:11,656 --> 00:36:13,523
is weirdly swiping all over me.
762
00:36:13,557 --> 00:36:16,459
Hey, you went on a
date with a girl,
763
00:36:16,493 --> 00:36:19,030
with a real, live girl
and you know, you lived,
764
00:36:19,063 --> 00:36:21,498
so we can call it a failed
experiment and move on.
765
00:36:21,531 --> 00:36:23,100
But the logical part of me sees
766
00:36:23,134 --> 00:36:25,602
that I'm writing
something great.
767
00:36:25,635 --> 00:36:28,873
It's like, what we have is a
really polished ninth draft.
768
00:36:28,906 --> 00:36:30,607
Yeah, of a lie.
769
00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:32,009
Thought you said
you were getting lunch.
770
00:36:32,043 --> 00:36:33,343
Oh, try the sour keys.
771
00:36:34,178 --> 00:36:35,713
Not yellow, yellow's gross.
772
00:36:38,615 --> 00:36:40,985
My life is making me
really sad, man.
773
00:36:41,018 --> 00:36:43,553
And, no, backtracking,
it's not a lie.
774
00:36:43,587 --> 00:36:44,387
It's art.
775
00:36:45,089 --> 00:36:46,958
And it's good.
776
00:36:46,991 --> 00:36:49,526
And, like any good art,
it can change you.
777
00:36:49,559 --> 00:36:51,996
Or me. Or, see? I'm doing the
Ethan Hawke thing in real life now.
778
00:36:52,029 --> 00:36:52,930
Can we not?
779
00:36:54,765 --> 00:36:56,067
Look, I told the showrunner
about you,
780
00:36:56,100 --> 00:36:57,902
and he wants to meet you.
781
00:36:57,935 --> 00:37:00,137
So, can we just drop the
whole fake dating thing
782
00:37:00,171 --> 00:37:02,907
for a minute and you can try
to land a real job with me.
783
00:37:02,940 --> 00:37:05,009
Fuck the showrunner.
784
00:37:05,042 --> 00:37:07,678
Not only is this fake dating thing
going to land me Michael Burwell,
785
00:37:07,712 --> 00:37:09,947
I'm learning how to write female
characters. Honestly, man,
786
00:37:09,981 --> 00:37:11,816
you don't know how these people think
until you actually spend time with them.
787
00:37:11,849 --> 00:37:13,050
Oh, my God, you're an idiot.
788
00:37:15,853 --> 00:37:17,855
Do you understand that
everyone wants to be
789
00:37:17,889 --> 00:37:18,890
on this show?
790
00:37:19,824 --> 00:37:22,559
That I am even here
right now is amazing
791
00:37:22,592 --> 00:37:24,095
and now the EP, he's
talking to me about
792
00:37:24,128 --> 00:37:26,030
his new Netflix thing,
how can you not want that?
793
00:37:26,063 --> 00:37:27,665
Because you're here
from six in the morning
794
00:37:27,698 --> 00:37:29,499
hole punching some
asshole's shit that's just
795
00:37:29,532 --> 00:37:31,903
going to be re-written by
some other asshole, and what?
796
00:37:31,936 --> 00:37:33,170
You're going to do
that for six years?
797
00:37:33,204 --> 00:37:34,906
Yeah, well,
it's a way in.
798
00:37:34,939 --> 00:37:37,975
It's a rush hour bus ride
to mediocrity is what it is.
799
00:37:38,009 --> 00:37:41,078
Okay, and using some girl that
you don't even like, what is that?
800
00:37:41,112 --> 00:37:43,814
Continuing the analogy,
it's the empty car pool lane
801
00:37:43,848 --> 00:37:47,018
straight downtown, and I
told you, I do like her.
802
00:37:47,919 --> 00:37:49,654
I don't think you know what you like...
803
00:37:49,687 --> 00:37:51,756
...which I was hoping
this whole, uhm,
804
00:37:51,789 --> 00:37:54,457
you know, coming of age thing
would teach you, but fine.
805
00:37:54,491 --> 00:37:57,594
You slipped her the tongue,
now slip her the script.
806
00:37:57,627 --> 00:38:00,164
- Let's move on.
- Uh, so wait, first you were accusing me of using her
807
00:38:00,197 --> 00:38:02,033
and now, what, you're
jelly on the spending list?
808
00:38:02,066 --> 00:38:04,802
Are we saying jelly now?
809
00:38:06,003 --> 00:38:08,973
Look, man, you're going to
spend the next three weeks
810
00:38:09,006 --> 00:38:11,608
convincing this girl that
a happy ending is coming,
811
00:38:11,641 --> 00:38:14,178
and then you're going to throw
her in the fucking recycling bin,
812
00:38:14,211 --> 00:38:16,047
and move on and who
is that good for?
813
00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:17,882
I don't know, maybe me?
814
00:38:17,915 --> 00:38:19,649
Maybe her?
815
00:38:19,684 --> 00:38:20,885
Maybe we end up together.
816
00:38:21,786 --> 00:38:22,887
Why not?
817
00:38:24,121 --> 00:38:25,957
I think there's a version of
this where we end up together.
818
00:38:25,990 --> 00:38:27,959
- Fuck the cliché.
- No, Cole, fuck you!
819
00:38:27,992 --> 00:38:30,761
All right, fuck me!
Why do you care so much?
820
00:38:30,795 --> 00:38:32,964
Because since ninth grade
we have been talking about
821
00:38:32,997 --> 00:38:34,564
writing together and
moving to L.A. together
822
00:38:34,597 --> 00:38:35,933
and having a fucking
show together,
823
00:38:35,967 --> 00:38:37,768
and now I'm giving
you a shot at that
824
00:38:37,802 --> 00:38:39,569
and you're, you're throwing...
825
00:38:40,671 --> 00:38:43,240
it away for some girl.
826
00:38:43,274 --> 00:38:45,042
You sounded very gay
right now, man.
827
00:38:46,210 --> 00:38:47,778
So the fuck what?
828
00:38:49,947 --> 00:38:52,717
You know what? This is actually
good inspiration because gay people
829
00:38:52,750 --> 00:38:54,551
are in right now and
I've been considering
830
00:38:54,584 --> 00:38:56,619
writing a gay character
in my script but,
831
00:38:56,654 --> 00:39:00,091
I don't know if he's gay or
if he even knows he's gay.
832
00:39:00,124 --> 00:39:02,126
You know what?
I'll figure it out, thanks, Aus.
833
00:39:02,159 --> 00:39:04,195
Tin, ah.
Never make that nickname work.
834
00:39:04,228 --> 00:39:07,064
Okay, well there's only so
many ways I can say fuck you.
835
00:39:17,675 --> 00:39:21,045
I love, love, lovey love,
love this book.
836
00:39:21,078 --> 00:39:23,613
Oh, my gosh.
Last year, I read this 30 times.
837
00:39:23,646 --> 00:39:26,217
Wow, that's some great times.
838
00:39:26,250 --> 00:39:28,719
- Also kind of hot.
- Oh, my.
839
00:39:28,753 --> 00:39:30,988
Don't act like it's
not crazy, okay?
840
00:39:31,022 --> 00:39:34,624
I know it is, anyway, there's just,
there is this part at the end, okay,
841
00:39:34,658 --> 00:39:37,695
where there's like
this soul-searchy
842
00:39:37,728 --> 00:39:39,964
bit where the main
character is just literally
843
00:39:39,997 --> 00:39:43,768
fighting himself and the messed up
stuff he's done was just.
844
00:39:43,801 --> 00:39:45,803
- It is everything to me.
- Hmm.
845
00:39:51,342 --> 00:39:55,545
♪ Go to the city girl ♪
846
00:39:56,646 --> 00:39:59,917
Just playing up there,
in front of real people, ah,
847
00:39:59,950 --> 00:40:02,887
that's music, dude.
848
00:40:03,788 --> 00:40:05,289
Yeah, but these people
didn't come here to see him.
849
00:40:05,322 --> 00:40:06,123
They just came.
850
00:40:08,059 --> 00:40:09,927
Yeah, but they came
and they stayed.
851
00:40:11,628 --> 00:40:13,630
That's all I want.
852
00:40:13,664 --> 00:40:17,868
No fame, no fortune, none of
that, just... that connection.
853
00:40:17,902 --> 00:40:19,370
♪ And I need someone ♪
854
00:40:19,403 --> 00:40:21,272
You know, you never
did that thing,
855
00:40:21,305 --> 00:40:24,875
the yawny arm around me move.
856
00:40:24,909 --> 00:40:28,779
I... respect feminine rights.
857
00:40:28,813 --> 00:40:31,148
Yeah, but as the female,
I'm giving you the right
858
00:40:31,182 --> 00:40:32,850
to put your arm around me.
859
00:40:37,288 --> 00:40:38,923
Is that?
860
00:40:38,956 --> 00:40:41,025
Oh, that was it? Okay.
Just, yeah...
861
00:40:44,095 --> 00:40:45,863
Clearly want to clean up.
862
00:40:48,365 --> 00:40:50,901
♪ I'll let you know ♪
863
00:40:50,935 --> 00:40:53,636
So, in this revision based
off real-life experience,
864
00:40:53,671 --> 00:40:55,873
I'm going to make the girl
talk in this really cute way
865
00:40:55,906 --> 00:40:58,142
where she says things
like "fuckity" and "dum dum."
866
00:40:58,175 --> 00:41:00,911
Mmm, except I've never
said "dum dum."
867
00:41:00,945 --> 00:41:02,880
You stupid face.
868
00:41:02,913 --> 00:41:04,782
How's your song going?
869
00:41:04,815 --> 00:41:07,118
Uh, it's not.
870
00:41:07,151 --> 00:41:09,887
- Boy that the song's about, he's just too distracting.
- Oh.
871
00:41:13,424 --> 00:41:15,893
Your dad's Michael Burwell?
872
00:41:15,926 --> 00:41:19,296
Wow, the Michael Burwell?
Michael Burwell as in Michael Burwell?
873
00:41:19,330 --> 00:41:21,165
Yeah,.
874
00:41:21,198 --> 00:41:22,199
I thought about that I guess...
875
00:41:26,470 --> 00:41:27,338
No.
876
00:41:31,208 --> 00:41:32,676
Want to be a bitch
or eat a burger?
877
00:41:35,779 --> 00:41:37,114
Never thought you'd last that
long without talking to me.
878
00:41:38,182 --> 00:41:39,416
It's been like, one montage.
879
00:41:40,284 --> 00:41:42,386
Two bits in a movie is
like, what, a week?
880
00:41:42,419 --> 00:41:44,221
Three weeks, who's counting?
881
00:41:50,161 --> 00:41:53,130
Wow. I literally think that's
the first awkward silence
882
00:41:53,164 --> 00:41:54,098
we ever had together.
883
00:41:55,933 --> 00:41:58,235
We need to make up for
lost banter skills.
884
00:41:58,269 --> 00:42:02,273
So, um, I assume that
Haley Burwell thing fizzled out.
885
00:42:02,306 --> 00:42:05,209
- Bubble tea tonight?
- Why would you assume it fizzled out?
886
00:42:05,242 --> 00:42:07,411
Because it's been three weeks.
So, um...
887
00:42:08,779 --> 00:42:10,347
You should have had sex by now.
888
00:42:10,381 --> 00:42:12,349
And I know we don't talk
about that sort of thing,
889
00:42:12,383 --> 00:42:13,951
but let's be honest,
there's never been
890
00:42:13,984 --> 00:42:15,920
that much to talk about,
so, if something
891
00:42:15,953 --> 00:42:17,121
had happened, I feel
like you would have
892
00:42:17,154 --> 00:42:18,422
broken the ice on our cold war.
893
00:42:18,455 --> 00:42:20,357
You know what?
It's none of your business.
894
00:42:20,391 --> 00:42:22,793
I don't kiss and tell.
Or fuck and converse.
895
00:42:22,826 --> 00:42:24,161
Because there's nothing
to converse about.
896
00:42:24,195 --> 00:42:25,329
No, not yet.
897
00:42:25,362 --> 00:42:27,865
She wants to, probably, but,
898
00:42:27,898 --> 00:42:29,900
I mean I think we want to, oh.
899
00:42:32,036 --> 00:42:34,004
- Ah.
- Look, I know I didn't support you in this.
900
00:42:34,038 --> 00:42:36,373
Fine, but if this
is a real thing,
901
00:42:36,407 --> 00:42:38,742
and you really like each other,
then you have my blessing.
902
00:42:38,776 --> 00:42:40,044
So, you're willing
to share me now?
903
00:42:40,077 --> 00:42:40,945
I've...
904
00:42:44,114 --> 00:42:47,251
I value our friendship or
whatever too much not to.
905
00:42:47,284 --> 00:42:49,453
Just one condition.
Come out with me tonight.
906
00:42:49,486 --> 00:42:51,822
It's going to be fun. We'll go
for bubble tea and then we'll hang
907
00:42:51,855 --> 00:42:52,823
with the writers from the show.
908
00:42:54,024 --> 00:42:55,125
They're funny, you'll like them.
909
00:42:57,928 --> 00:42:59,096
I don't like people.
910
00:43:00,364 --> 00:43:02,333
Well, uh, they're writers, Cole,
they don't like people, either.
911
00:43:02,366 --> 00:43:04,101
Yeah, but they're TV writers.
912
00:43:04,134 --> 00:43:07,271
That's like calling a
hamburger a ribeye steak.
913
00:43:07,304 --> 00:43:09,873
You know what, Cole?
Sometimes a hamburger...
914
00:43:09,907 --> 00:43:11,308
...is the best meal.
915
00:43:13,510 --> 00:43:16,847
Man, this is why
I love you, man.
916
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:18,315
I don't even need
to say anything.
917
00:43:19,583 --> 00:43:20,918
I did miss you, though.
918
00:43:22,319 --> 00:43:23,187
Here's what I would say if I said things like that.
919
00:43:23,220 --> 00:43:25,055
Jesus, I'm starting
to think this girl
920
00:43:25,089 --> 00:43:26,790
does nothing all day long.
921
00:43:26,824 --> 00:43:29,860
All right, you do your
leading man thing,
922
00:43:29,893 --> 00:43:32,396
I'll drink into the background
like a good sidekick.
923
00:43:32,429 --> 00:43:34,198
All right, I'll see you tonight.
924
00:43:37,034 --> 00:43:38,235
Hey, Lee.
925
00:43:39,236 --> 00:43:41,238
This all a joke?
926
00:43:41,272 --> 00:43:44,508
- What's uppity?
- Nothing, just getting some work done.
927
00:43:44,541 --> 00:43:46,443
Cool. What are you
up to tonight?
928
00:43:46,477 --> 00:43:48,145
You want to come over,
you want to hanging out?
929
00:43:48,178 --> 00:43:51,015
I really want to say yes,
but I just told Austin
930
00:43:51,048 --> 00:43:52,349
- that we'd hang out.
- Right.
931
00:43:54,918 --> 00:43:57,187
Because you know what
come over means, right?
932
00:43:57,221 --> 00:43:57,988
Like, it, uh...
933
00:43:59,323 --> 00:44:00,891
Like, it's like a sex thing.
934
00:44:00,924 --> 00:44:01,525
Oh.
935
00:44:03,627 --> 00:44:04,495
Oh!
936
00:44:11,902 --> 00:44:13,971
Yeah, that sounds good.
937
00:44:14,004 --> 00:44:16,073
Sex thing sounds very...
938
00:44:16,106 --> 00:44:18,876
Uh, sex... positive.
939
00:44:18,909 --> 00:44:21,078
I'll, uh, I'll see you tonight.
940
00:44:21,111 --> 00:44:24,248
Hey, wait, no, phone back
to ear, please.
941
00:44:24,281 --> 00:44:26,050
- What's up?
- I hate that.
942
00:44:26,083 --> 00:44:28,185
People say, "I'll see
you tonight," they like,
943
00:44:28,218 --> 00:44:29,453
hang up the phone.
No one makes any plans.
944
00:44:29,486 --> 00:44:30,921
What is that?
945
00:44:30,954 --> 00:44:32,022
I don't know.
946
00:44:32,056 --> 00:44:33,957
I thought it was like a general,
947
00:44:35,025 --> 00:44:37,361
um, how's your place at nine?
948
00:44:37,394 --> 00:44:42,566
Nine's perfect, except you
don't know where my place is.
949
00:44:42,599 --> 00:44:46,870
I do not, you're right.
950
00:44:46,904 --> 00:44:48,472
Okay, so I'll text it to you.
951
00:44:48,505 --> 00:44:49,340
Okay.
952
00:45:06,156 --> 00:45:07,458
- Hi.
- Hey.
953
00:45:07,491 --> 00:45:08,425
- Hey.
- You look great.
954
00:45:08,459 --> 00:45:09,293
Thanks.
955
00:45:12,563 --> 00:45:13,430
Come on.
956
00:45:15,566 --> 00:45:17,000
Holy shit!
957
00:45:17,968 --> 00:45:19,336
Your parents famous
or something?
958
00:45:20,971 --> 00:45:23,374
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
We're not going inside?
959
00:45:23,407 --> 00:45:24,942
Follow the leader.
960
00:45:24,975 --> 00:45:27,077
You invited me over.
961
00:45:27,111 --> 00:45:29,179
I mean, am I really over if we don't go inside?
962
00:45:29,213 --> 00:45:31,014
It's more like I'm around.
963
00:45:31,048 --> 00:45:33,183
You should have invited
me around, not over.
964
00:45:56,407 --> 00:45:58,542
I thought I'd try planning
the perfect moment, for once.
965
00:46:02,747 --> 00:46:03,580
Perfect.
966
00:46:06,316 --> 00:46:07,484
Straight out of the movie?
967
00:46:09,420 --> 00:46:11,021
One I'm jealous I didn't write.
968
00:46:12,556 --> 00:46:14,191
Why do you have to be jealous?
969
00:46:16,627 --> 00:46:17,995
Because I want...
970
00:46:20,230 --> 00:46:21,031
All of this.
971
00:46:25,068 --> 00:46:25,670
Well, hey.
972
00:46:26,771 --> 00:46:27,938
You have it.
973
00:46:30,140 --> 00:46:31,241
You have me.
974
00:46:34,111 --> 00:46:35,412
You ever feel like, uh...
975
00:46:37,214 --> 00:46:38,615
life's only good
in the memories?
976
00:46:39,751 --> 00:46:41,518
Like, uh,
977
00:46:41,552 --> 00:46:42,519
like a scent
978
00:46:43,454 --> 00:46:46,156
where music or a...
979
00:46:47,524 --> 00:46:48,325
good movie.
980
00:46:52,496 --> 00:46:54,097
Is it all only good
in retrospect?
981
00:46:57,534 --> 00:46:59,570
I think that would mean
we're all just living to die.
982
00:47:00,537 --> 00:47:01,638
That's pretty depressing.
983
00:47:03,675 --> 00:47:04,742
I just always had
this feeling like
984
00:47:04,776 --> 00:47:07,444
I was remembering my life.
985
00:47:09,814 --> 00:47:12,449
Storing it for the future
so I can remember it later.
986
00:47:19,156 --> 00:47:20,157
Well then, hey.
987
00:47:22,292 --> 00:47:27,097
Stop recording for a
memory and just press play.
988
00:47:30,702 --> 00:47:35,038
♪ So didn't you find love ♪
989
00:47:35,072 --> 00:47:37,709
♪ Or salvation ♪
990
00:47:37,742 --> 00:47:39,376
♪ In what they do ♪
991
00:47:42,112 --> 00:47:46,149
♪ Our heart is built of gold ♪
992
00:47:46,183 --> 00:47:48,619
♪ Fairies they are told ♪
993
00:47:48,653 --> 00:47:51,054
♪ It's in the hands you hold ♪
994
00:47:53,156 --> 00:47:57,194
♪ How long can we ignore ♪
995
00:47:57,227 --> 00:47:59,831
♪ Build a little more ♪
996
00:47:59,864 --> 00:48:02,232
♪ Then we break our true ♪
997
00:48:04,234 --> 00:48:07,471
♪ Ooh ♪
998
00:48:09,707 --> 00:48:12,075
♪ Ooh ♪
999
00:48:12,109 --> 00:48:15,078
Don't record this as a memory.
1000
00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:17,648
Not that I have
anything to, uhm...
1001
00:48:18,783 --> 00:48:22,319
just, I'm, I'm just
going to get naked now, uhm.
1002
00:48:22,352 --> 00:48:24,454
Fully naked, just
because you're not...
1003
00:48:26,356 --> 00:48:29,393
you're not.
1004
00:48:29,426 --> 00:48:32,095
♪ I don't feel like calling ♪
1005
00:48:32,129 --> 00:48:34,565
♪ Up against the sky ♪
1006
00:48:34,598 --> 00:48:37,534
♪ I sit taking it all in ♪
1007
00:48:37,568 --> 00:48:40,370
♪ Thank the good guy ♪
1008
00:48:40,404 --> 00:48:43,173
♪ I don't feel him calling ♪
1009
00:48:43,206 --> 00:48:46,443
♪ Up against the sky ♪
1010
00:48:46,476 --> 00:48:48,645
♪ It's got the heart
of the world ♪
1011
00:48:48,680 --> 00:48:50,782
♪ Turning to the light ♪
1012
00:49:15,539 --> 00:49:17,341
Afraid to speak lest
I ruin the moment.
1013
00:49:21,578 --> 00:49:23,180
What the hell did I just say?
1014
00:49:23,213 --> 00:49:23,815
Did I say lest?
1015
00:49:24,849 --> 00:49:25,850
Who says lest?
1016
00:49:25,883 --> 00:49:28,452
Hey, stop, stop.
1017
00:49:28,485 --> 00:49:29,787
Stop what?
1018
00:49:29,821 --> 00:49:32,289
Stop, just stop.
1019
00:49:32,322 --> 00:49:34,424
♪ Smile like you know ♪
1020
00:49:35,359 --> 00:49:36,627
♪ A new world ♪
1021
00:49:37,929 --> 00:49:39,630
♪ Has been found ♪
1022
00:49:41,699 --> 00:49:45,770
♪ Ooh ♪
1023
00:49:47,437 --> 00:49:50,842
♪ Ooh ♪
1024
00:49:52,844 --> 00:49:56,446
♪ Ooh ♪
1025
00:49:58,582 --> 00:50:02,152
♪ Ooh ♪
1026
00:50:04,321 --> 00:50:06,824
♪ I don't feel like
I'm falling ♪
1027
00:50:06,858 --> 00:50:09,593
♪ I'm up against the sky ♪
1028
00:50:09,626 --> 00:50:12,462
♪ I sit taking it all in ♪
1029
00:50:12,496 --> 00:50:15,365
♪ To make a good life ♪
1030
00:50:15,399 --> 00:50:17,702
♪ And I don't feel
like I'm falling ♪
1031
00:50:17,735 --> 00:50:20,805
♪ I'm up against the sky ♪
1032
00:50:20,838 --> 00:50:23,573
♪ That's got the heart
of the world ♪
1033
00:50:23,607 --> 00:50:26,476
♪ And turn it to the light ♪
1034
00:50:26,510 --> 00:50:29,279
♪ I don't feel like
I'm falling ♪
1035
00:50:29,312 --> 00:50:31,983
♪ I'm up against the sky ♪
1036
00:50:32,016 --> 00:50:34,484
♪ It's got the heart
of the world ♪
1037
00:50:34,518 --> 00:50:37,755
♪ Turn it to the light ♪
1038
00:51:36,013 --> 00:51:39,349
♪ Or maybe it could ♪
1039
00:51:39,382 --> 00:51:42,954
♪ My love's as big as the sea ♪
1040
00:51:48,492 --> 00:51:49,660
Morning.
1041
00:51:49,694 --> 00:51:51,294
I'm sorry I left you in bed.
1042
00:51:51,328 --> 00:51:52,462
I guess I just needed to...
1043
00:51:53,831 --> 00:51:56,433
channel some inspirationy vibes.
1044
00:51:56,466 --> 00:51:58,870
Mmm, last night inspired you.
1045
00:52:00,071 --> 00:52:00,905
We, uh...
1046
00:52:02,673 --> 00:52:03,573
We drank a lot, huh?
1047
00:52:04,842 --> 00:52:05,777
Ah...
1048
00:52:07,712 --> 00:52:09,013
Yeah, I mean, uhm.
1049
00:52:10,982 --> 00:52:12,482
I thought, uh...
1050
00:52:14,484 --> 00:52:16,386
it was great, was it not?
1051
00:52:18,355 --> 00:52:19,623
What is this place?
1052
00:52:21,591 --> 00:52:23,426
This is my recording studio.
1053
00:52:24,361 --> 00:52:27,597
In an elfin cove?
1054
00:52:27,631 --> 00:52:32,737
Yeah, I guess it used
to be a crawl space.
1055
00:52:33,871 --> 00:52:36,439
I've always sort of been a
sucker for these kind of spots.
1056
00:52:37,507 --> 00:52:41,012
You know, like uhm,
a refrigerator box or...
1057
00:52:43,014 --> 00:52:45,750
that little spot underneath
the stairs
1058
00:52:45,783 --> 00:52:47,852
where the world just fits
perfectly around you.
1059
00:52:48,753 --> 00:52:51,088
There's no space to be
lonely if there's no space.
1060
00:52:52,990 --> 00:52:56,093
I guess part of the allure is
that I never really had any
1061
00:52:57,128 --> 00:52:57,962
friends.
1062
00:52:59,864 --> 00:53:02,033
Yeah, but it's not like
that's some great tragedy.
1063
00:53:03,500 --> 00:53:04,101
What?
1064
00:53:05,670 --> 00:53:07,104
Well, I mean, because
you have all this.
1065
00:53:08,706 --> 00:53:11,943
It's just, friends
can be, uh, distracting.
1066
00:53:12,877 --> 00:53:14,712
Trust me, you're lucky
to have this kind of life
1067
00:53:14,745 --> 00:53:16,147
where you can just
sing and create
1068
00:53:16,180 --> 00:53:18,683
and not have to worry
about reality
1069
00:53:18,716 --> 00:53:20,051
or struggles or people.
1070
00:53:21,018 --> 00:53:22,987
Mmm hmm, right.
1071
00:53:23,020 --> 00:53:26,657
So you think that because
my dad is famous
1072
00:53:26,691 --> 00:53:29,126
that I just sit around
waiting for a big break then?
1073
00:53:29,160 --> 00:53:31,028
You never said
your dad was famous.
1074
00:53:32,596 --> 00:53:34,165
Right, like you didn't
know that my dad
1075
00:53:34,198 --> 00:53:35,933
was Michael Burwell.
1076
00:53:35,967 --> 00:53:37,500
Your dad is Michael Burwell?
1077
00:53:38,970 --> 00:53:41,672
- Wow, is he here?
- No, okay.
1078
00:53:41,706 --> 00:53:43,908
He goes out on the
boat every morning.
1079
00:53:43,941 --> 00:53:47,979
Are we done just minimizing
my struggles now?
1080
00:53:48,012 --> 00:53:49,747
I'm just saying you're talented.
1081
00:53:50,715 --> 00:53:52,515
And you know what you want
and you can actually get it.
1082
00:53:53,918 --> 00:53:56,153
Look, this is, uh,
this is spiraling.
1083
00:53:56,187 --> 00:53:56,821
I just...
1084
00:54:00,057 --> 00:54:01,659
You didn't try hard to get here.
1085
00:54:02,894 --> 00:54:04,996
It's a really great life
and that's great
1086
00:54:05,029 --> 00:54:07,698
and I'm here too, but
I also had to fuck over
1087
00:54:07,732 --> 00:54:08,900
my best friend to get here.
1088
00:54:10,567 --> 00:54:11,869
It's silly, you want
me to feel bad,
1089
00:54:11,903 --> 00:54:13,671
because you have nobody
to fuck over,
1090
00:54:14,571 --> 00:54:17,174
that nothing gets in the way
of what you want to accomplish.
1091
00:54:18,809 --> 00:54:20,878
I wish crippling loneliness
was my issue.
1092
00:54:24,715 --> 00:54:26,717
Yeah, Cole, I think you
got bigger issues.
1093
00:54:28,052 --> 00:54:30,888
It's called a severe
fucking lack of empathy.
1094
00:54:30,922 --> 00:54:32,589
Come on, I didn't want
to start a fight.
1095
00:54:32,622 --> 00:54:34,692
I'm just pointing something out.
1096
00:54:36,093 --> 00:54:37,728
You know, you don't
own the rights
1097
00:54:37,762 --> 00:54:39,830
to struggling artists, okay?
1098
00:54:39,864 --> 00:54:42,465
Your problems are no
worse than anybody else's,
1099
00:54:42,499 --> 00:54:44,567
so you don't get to use that
as some kind of bitter excuse
1100
00:54:44,601 --> 00:54:47,570
as to why you're better
than everybody.
1101
00:54:47,604 --> 00:54:49,674
I think it's time for you to go, okay?
1102
00:54:53,744 --> 00:54:54,912
You know, it's funny,
I was thinkin'
1103
00:54:54,946 --> 00:54:55,913
the same thing last night.
1104
00:54:55,947 --> 00:54:57,848
Oh, nice.
1105
00:55:14,631 --> 00:55:18,002
I'm sorry, my character
slipped... I slipped.
1106
00:55:18,035 --> 00:55:19,136
I don't want the end
of Act II breakup.
1107
00:55:20,137 --> 00:55:21,604
Me neither.
1108
00:55:54,238 --> 00:55:55,673
You who phones people.
1109
00:55:55,706 --> 00:55:56,874
How mad are you at me?
1110
00:55:56,907 --> 00:55:58,142
I'm six.
1111
00:55:58,175 --> 00:55:59,143
I'm sorry, just...
1112
00:55:59,176 --> 00:56:00,177
Can I come over?
1113
00:56:03,714 --> 00:56:04,315
Yeah.
1114
00:56:05,349 --> 00:56:06,884
Yeah, meet me at the swings.
1115
00:56:06,917 --> 00:56:07,918
Yeah.
1116
00:56:48,993 --> 00:56:52,029
- Knew you were still mad at me.
- I think I have the right to be a little angry.
1117
00:56:53,197 --> 00:56:54,799
You ditched me for a fake girl
1118
00:56:54,832 --> 00:56:57,134
and then you do it
again and again.
1119
00:56:57,168 --> 00:56:58,769
It gets tiring.
1120
00:56:58,803 --> 00:57:00,137
She's not fake.
1121
00:57:00,171 --> 00:57:01,338
She's a real girl.
1122
00:57:01,372 --> 00:57:04,075
Well, fake relationship,
Pinocchio.
1123
00:57:04,108 --> 00:57:07,044
Nope, real relationship,
real argument.
1124
00:57:08,245 --> 00:57:09,213
Real big problem.
1125
00:57:11,148 --> 00:57:13,184
So, now you want to
use me for girl advice?
1126
00:57:14,085 --> 00:57:16,353
And I'm just supposed to what?
1127
00:57:16,387 --> 00:57:19,323
Like, drop everything and
help you because you need me?
1128
00:57:19,356 --> 00:57:21,926
Austin, I'm... like you wanted.
1129
00:57:22,860 --> 00:57:23,661
Learning.
1130
00:57:24,929 --> 00:57:25,796
And failing.
1131
00:57:27,832 --> 00:57:30,201
And it fucking sucks I don't
have you to help me fail.
1132
00:57:31,135 --> 00:57:34,672
And clean up my messy
writing by taking things out
1133
00:57:34,705 --> 00:57:35,673
and making it simple.
1134
00:57:38,109 --> 00:57:39,176
Okay, simple re-write.
1135
00:57:41,212 --> 00:57:42,046
Break up with her.
1136
00:57:44,949 --> 00:57:47,151
That's one of those
re-writes that sounds simple,
1137
00:57:47,184 --> 00:57:49,320
until you look at what
you're cutting and realize
1138
00:57:49,353 --> 00:57:50,988
you actually like
what you wrote.
1139
00:57:53,023 --> 00:57:54,425
But I also like all
the stuff that we wrote
1140
00:57:54,458 --> 00:57:56,293
about going to L.A.
for eight years, so,
1141
00:57:57,328 --> 00:57:58,762
yeah, complicated.
1142
00:58:02,933 --> 00:58:03,734
What?
1143
00:58:05,202 --> 00:58:06,070
I'm going to go.
1144
00:58:08,072 --> 00:58:08,873
Soon.
1145
00:58:10,975 --> 00:58:13,444
What, like in the middle
of this conversation?
1146
00:58:13,477 --> 00:58:14,644
I'm going to L.A.
1147
00:58:18,115 --> 00:58:19,049
It's nothing crazy.
1148
00:58:20,451 --> 00:58:22,686
The EP offered me the
script coordinator thing
1149
00:58:22,720 --> 00:58:23,921
on his Netflix show.
1150
00:58:25,456 --> 00:58:26,757
I guess...
1151
00:58:27,858 --> 00:58:30,094
I'll be there whenever you're
ready to come out...
1152
00:58:32,096 --> 00:58:32,930
to L.A.
1153
00:58:35,933 --> 00:58:37,301
Wow.
1154
00:58:37,334 --> 00:58:38,335
That's, uh...
1155
00:58:39,503 --> 00:58:41,238
Jeez.
1156
00:58:41,272 --> 00:58:42,773
Thanks so much for the invite.
1157
00:58:45,342 --> 00:58:47,244
I can't just be your best
friend character, Cole.
1158
00:58:47,278 --> 00:58:49,246
Nah, man, I get it.
1159
00:58:50,481 --> 00:58:53,150
All I did was follow our plan,
like we always talked about.
1160
00:58:53,184 --> 00:58:56,086
What about the plan
with this girl, man?
1161
00:58:56,120 --> 00:58:59,857
You said, and I quote, "I just
want you to be a real boy."
1162
00:58:59,890 --> 00:59:01,358
Yeah, well, I guess
I just thought the truth
1163
00:59:01,392 --> 00:59:02,693
would have come out already.
1164
00:59:04,828 --> 00:59:07,364
And by the way, congratu-
fucking-lations, Austin,
1165
00:59:07,398 --> 00:59:10,100
on this amazing opportunity
and moving to L.A.
1166
00:59:10,134 --> 00:59:11,869
I'm really fucking proud of you!
1167
00:59:31,088 --> 00:59:32,323
Did I just pass your drug dealer, or...
1168
00:59:33,424 --> 00:59:35,192
What are you doing here?
1169
00:59:35,226 --> 00:59:36,126
I don't know.
1170
00:59:38,329 --> 00:59:39,830
Missing you, I guess.
1171
00:59:39,863 --> 00:59:40,798
Seriously?
1172
00:59:42,233 --> 00:59:43,767
Where were you a few hours ago?
1173
00:59:46,470 --> 00:59:51,008
Uh... We had our first big
fight, yeah, so, so what?
1174
00:59:51,041 --> 00:59:52,042
Who cares?
1175
00:59:52,943 --> 00:59:56,046
Stop being so dramatic,
Cole, come on.
1176
00:59:56,080 --> 00:59:57,448
Why prolong some stupid fight?
1177
00:59:58,349 --> 00:59:59,383
Okay.
1178
00:59:59,416 --> 01:00:01,952
Haley, please don't forgive me.
1179
01:00:01,986 --> 01:00:04,021
I'd rather you didn't
tell me what to do
1180
01:00:04,054 --> 01:00:05,322
with my forgiveness, so.
1181
01:00:06,490 --> 01:00:09,360
Why do you got to be so... cool?
1182
01:00:10,427 --> 01:00:13,063
It's not even like, cool though.
It's like blind.
1183
01:00:14,064 --> 01:00:15,399
I mean, Haley,
why do you like me?
1184
01:00:16,500 --> 01:00:17,968
Because you like me.
1185
01:00:20,070 --> 01:00:22,172
And, and when we're together,
it's not like
1186
01:00:22,206 --> 01:00:24,208
I have to crawl into
this like, small room.
1187
01:00:24,241 --> 01:00:26,944
You, you just make it feel
like wherever we are
1188
01:00:26,977 --> 01:00:29,546
is exactly the right size
and, and, and it feels like that
1189
01:00:29,580 --> 01:00:33,450
because you try, you try to
make it feel that way.
1190
01:00:33,484 --> 01:00:34,885
And,
1191
01:00:34,918 --> 01:00:36,787
most guys don't try, so...
1192
01:00:38,122 --> 01:00:38,922
Wow.
1193
01:00:40,024 --> 01:00:42,226
That is so fucking...
1194
01:00:43,861 --> 01:00:45,195
I only try because...
1195
01:00:48,399 --> 01:00:51,435
Fuck it. Why hide it?
I only try because I wanted to impress you
1196
01:00:51,468 --> 01:00:53,037
so I could meet your
dad and impress him.
1197
01:00:58,876 --> 01:01:01,578
Is... that... it?
1198
01:01:01,612 --> 01:01:03,981
Like, do you think
you're the only guy
1199
01:01:04,014 --> 01:01:05,616
that wanted to meet my dad? I...
1200
01:01:05,649 --> 01:01:07,384
God, it was a lie.
1201
01:01:07,418 --> 01:01:09,987
The Joni Mitchell album,
the coincidental meeting
1202
01:01:10,020 --> 01:01:13,190
at the bakery, it was
all fucking planned
1203
01:01:13,223 --> 01:01:15,292
and orchestrated
and written like some
1204
01:01:15,326 --> 01:01:17,528
horseshit heist movie.
1205
01:01:17,561 --> 01:01:19,897
I mean, seriously, what
kind of girl lets a guy
1206
01:01:19,930 --> 01:01:21,365
tell her that she was
some useless piece
1207
01:01:21,398 --> 01:01:24,501
on a stupid chessboard
and then doesn't care.
1208
01:01:24,535 --> 01:01:26,070
You deserve better.
1209
01:01:26,103 --> 01:01:28,038
I don't need this.
1210
01:01:29,440 --> 01:01:32,376
I don't need you to tell
me about the virtues
1211
01:01:32,409 --> 01:01:35,913
and the nuances of being a
strong, independent female, okay?
1212
01:01:35,946 --> 01:01:38,182
I can be a real,
well-rounded human being
1213
01:01:38,215 --> 01:01:40,284
on my own, thank you very much.
1214
01:01:40,317 --> 01:01:42,186
And you know what?
1215
01:01:42,219 --> 01:01:45,189
If I like spending time with
you when you're not being
1216
01:01:45,222 --> 01:01:47,224
this jackass of a fucking guy,
1217
01:01:47,257 --> 01:01:50,327
then, then just
don't be this guy.
1218
01:01:50,361 --> 01:01:51,562
Haley, I'm...
1219
01:01:52,563 --> 01:01:53,964
You're like my dad.
1220
01:01:56,266 --> 01:02:00,204
Obsessed with being
this wounded,
1221
01:02:00,237 --> 01:02:02,406
creative type because
you think that,
1222
01:02:02,439 --> 01:02:04,375
I don't know, normal
isn't interesting.
1223
01:02:06,678 --> 01:02:08,379
Normal, ugh.
1224
01:02:13,217 --> 01:02:14,284
Then I want to be normal...
1225
01:02:15,586 --> 01:02:17,888
with you, I do. I fear...
1226
01:02:19,590 --> 01:02:21,258
Giving me this chance.
1227
01:02:22,192 --> 01:02:23,494
You really want to
date this guy?
1228
01:02:24,428 --> 01:02:26,397
Me? This?
1229
01:02:26,430 --> 01:02:28,499
Okay, listen buddy.
I know that you think
1230
01:02:28,532 --> 01:02:30,300
that you're like, so charming
1231
01:02:30,334 --> 01:02:32,670
and so irresistible
and I couldn't help
1232
01:02:32,704 --> 01:02:35,406
but fall for your plan,
okay, but I had as much
1233
01:02:35,439 --> 01:02:36,974
of a say in this as you did, so.
1234
01:02:39,276 --> 01:02:41,178
- So what you're saying is, uh...
- Hmm?
1235
01:02:42,479 --> 01:02:43,981
...woman can be active
characters, too?
1236
01:02:48,285 --> 01:02:51,656
I love that this
beautiful, grotesque tree
1237
01:02:51,689 --> 01:02:53,190
has just become our spot.
1238
01:02:54,525 --> 01:02:56,460
It's like out of a dream.
1239
01:02:56,493 --> 01:02:58,462
Babe, I don't know what kind of
dreams you're having,
1240
01:02:58,495 --> 01:03:00,230
but if that's what they're like,
keep me out of them.
1241
01:03:01,131 --> 01:03:02,599
Hey, listen, listen.
1242
01:03:02,633 --> 01:03:04,234
Very serious.
1243
01:03:04,268 --> 01:03:07,104
My birth-versary is
coming up this weekend.
1244
01:03:07,137 --> 01:03:10,474
You should come stay at
my house for a little bit.
1245
01:03:10,507 --> 01:03:12,109
Yeah, really?
1246
01:03:12,142 --> 01:03:13,544
Yeah, you should meet
my dad in like,
1247
01:03:13,577 --> 01:03:16,613
a less sneaky, more normal way.
1248
01:03:16,647 --> 01:03:20,250
Just don't bug him about
writing too much
1249
01:03:20,284 --> 01:03:22,453
because he came up here
to like, get away
1250
01:03:22,486 --> 01:03:24,388
from all of that and
he's doing really well,
1251
01:03:24,421 --> 01:03:26,658
and he's been really
present for me lately,
1252
01:03:26,691 --> 01:03:28,058
and that's great, so.
1253
01:03:34,565 --> 01:03:35,733
Do you think I'm nuts?
1254
01:03:38,736 --> 01:03:40,003
I think you're beautiful.
1255
01:03:42,740 --> 01:03:45,108
I was confused by a
hundred spinning plates,
1256
01:03:45,142 --> 01:03:47,644
but now it's simple,
1257
01:03:48,579 --> 01:03:51,348
because most of those plates
have dropped off or left town.
1258
01:03:53,517 --> 01:03:55,219
I think I'm glad I don't
have to sneak around
1259
01:03:55,252 --> 01:03:58,656
to give your dad a
script and I think I keep
1260
01:03:58,690 --> 01:04:00,758
listing things off because
I forgot to say
1261
01:04:00,792 --> 01:04:02,125
that no, I don't think
you're nuts.
1262
01:04:03,695 --> 01:04:06,063
Hmm, but I do think I don't
want to talk anymore.
1263
01:04:23,313 --> 01:04:29,052
♪ Only place that he
gets out of line ♪
1264
01:04:29,086 --> 01:04:34,057
♪ Is hoboing from town to town ♪
1265
01:04:35,425 --> 01:04:40,497
♪ One foot is on the platform ♪
1266
01:04:41,598 --> 01:04:46,436
♪ And the other one
off the train ♪
1267
01:04:48,238 --> 01:04:50,775
♪ I'm going back ♪
1268
01:04:50,808 --> 01:04:54,378
♪ To New Orleans ♪
1269
01:04:54,411 --> 01:04:58,282
♪ To wear that ball and chain ♪
1270
01:05:04,321 --> 01:05:09,259
♪ Going back to New Orleans ♪
1271
01:05:10,427 --> 01:05:15,299
♪ My race is almost run ♪
1272
01:05:16,834 --> 01:05:20,304
♪ Going back ♪
1273
01:05:20,337 --> 01:05:23,808
♪ To spend the rest of my days ♪
1274
01:05:23,841 --> 01:05:29,279
♪ Beneath that rising sun ♪
1275
01:05:51,501 --> 01:05:53,403
- Hi.
- There you go.
1276
01:05:53,437 --> 01:05:54,872
- How you doing? Michael.
- Cole.
1277
01:05:54,906 --> 01:05:56,406
Cole, yes, of course.
My daughter has told me
1278
01:05:56,440 --> 01:05:57,675
everything about you.
1279
01:05:57,709 --> 01:06:00,243
And let me just say,
it is a pleasure
1280
01:06:00,277 --> 01:06:02,714
to meet another guy with
an average sized penis.
1281
01:06:04,782 --> 01:06:06,516
- That was a joke.
- Ah.
1282
01:06:06,550 --> 01:06:08,619
Always fun having to
explain jokes to people.
1283
01:06:08,653 --> 01:06:12,255
Well, I know, here, Haley's told
me a little bit about you, too.
1284
01:06:12,289 --> 01:06:14,257
Mmm, yeah, because there's
no way an aspiring writer
1285
01:06:14,291 --> 01:06:17,762
would be scouring my Wikipedia
page you know, nightly.
1286
01:06:17,795 --> 01:06:20,397
We're just out back, doing
the whole summer, thing.
1287
01:06:20,430 --> 01:06:25,502
You know, sitting, occasionally
standing, swimming.
1288
01:06:25,535 --> 01:06:27,739
There was some talking earlier.
1289
01:06:27,772 --> 01:06:29,239
That was fun.
1290
01:06:29,272 --> 01:06:30,675
All right.
1291
01:06:30,708 --> 01:06:31,843
Been up here before?
1292
01:06:32,877 --> 01:06:35,278
I used to come as a kid, I mean,
1293
01:06:35,312 --> 01:06:38,215
summers on this lake in
a crappy little cottage,
1294
01:06:38,248 --> 01:06:40,384
not this fucking palace.
1295
01:06:40,417 --> 01:06:43,220
I do one punch up on
some chimp playing sports
1296
01:06:43,253 --> 01:06:46,356
and I got granite counter
tops and recessed lighting,
1297
01:06:46,390 --> 01:06:49,192
some kind of stone on the
wall, fireplace
1298
01:06:49,226 --> 01:06:52,195
Francis fricking Robin guy
or something in every room.
1299
01:06:52,229 --> 01:06:54,297
Speaking of rooms, I have no idea how
many rooms there are in this place.
1300
01:06:54,331 --> 01:06:56,768
I took a dump this morning,
like a really painful shit
1301
01:06:56,801 --> 01:06:58,602
in a bathroom that
I swear to God,
1302
01:06:58,635 --> 01:07:00,705
I've never been in in my life.
1303
01:07:00,738 --> 01:07:03,708
Anyways. It's nice to, uh,
come back here, you know?
1304
01:07:03,741 --> 01:07:05,509
Bring Haley,
1305
01:07:05,542 --> 01:07:08,680
introduce her to, uh, you know,
real people for a change.
1306
01:07:08,713 --> 01:07:10,848
- Welp, I'm a real person.
- Of course you are.
1307
01:07:10,882 --> 01:07:12,684
Otherwise, would I
be able to do this?
1308
01:07:12,717 --> 01:07:14,584
So much as touch a hair
on my daughter's head
1309
01:07:14,618 --> 01:07:16,319
and I swear to God I will
make a formal inquiry
1310
01:07:16,353 --> 01:07:17,554
to the barber's union
and make sure
1311
01:07:17,587 --> 01:07:19,924
that you are qualified
to touch hair.
1312
01:07:19,957 --> 01:07:21,659
I have no idea where
I'm going with this.
1313
01:07:23,460 --> 01:07:24,729
I'm fucking with you,
I'm fucking, seriously,
1314
01:07:24,762 --> 01:07:25,963
I'm not that kind of dad.
1315
01:07:25,997 --> 01:07:28,700
She seems, I don't know,
honestly, lighter
1316
01:07:28,733 --> 01:07:31,334
since you been around, so you just
keep lightin' her up, all right?
1317
01:07:31,368 --> 01:07:33,470
And we will all be,
how you kids put it?
1318
01:07:33,503 --> 01:07:34,772
Lit, right, right?
1319
01:07:34,806 --> 01:07:36,808
Look, I don't give a shit.
1320
01:07:36,841 --> 01:07:37,809
You want something?
1321
01:07:37,842 --> 01:07:39,777
I'm good, thanks.
1322
01:07:46,784 --> 01:07:47,852
What's your dad up to?
1323
01:07:47,885 --> 01:07:48,720
Hmm?
1324
01:07:50,822 --> 01:07:53,891
Oh, I guess sometimes he just
gets stuck in his own head.
1325
01:07:54,826 --> 01:07:56,593
Kind of like you.
1326
01:07:56,626 --> 01:07:58,328
I mean, is he writing
a script or something?
1327
01:08:02,967 --> 01:08:04,634
Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you
doing? He's right there.
1328
01:08:05,535 --> 01:08:06,838
So?
1329
01:08:06,871 --> 01:08:08,039
It's not like he cares.
1330
01:08:23,320 --> 01:08:24,055
Cole.
1331
01:08:24,088 --> 01:08:27,725
Cole? Cole!
1332
01:08:27,759 --> 01:08:30,695
You know what? Just ignore me and I'm
talking to the coal in the fire, anyway.
1333
01:08:31,829 --> 01:08:34,832
- Hmm.
- Shh, this coal is much hotter than you.
1334
01:08:35,733 --> 01:08:37,434
Oh, Dad!
1335
01:08:38,435 --> 01:08:40,604
And you call yourself
a writer, Jesus.
1336
01:08:40,637 --> 01:08:43,507
Sorry, were you, uh,
asking me something?
1337
01:08:43,540 --> 01:08:46,309
I was asking what kind
of stuff you wrote,
1338
01:08:46,343 --> 01:08:49,814
but it was just a bit
of polite etiquette.
1339
01:08:49,847 --> 01:08:51,682
Well, I, uh,
1340
01:08:51,716 --> 01:08:53,851
I write movies and
TV shows that have...
1341
01:08:55,619 --> 01:08:57,655
very naturalistic
kind of, uhm...
1342
01:08:58,923 --> 01:09:01,826
it actually harkens back
to the old, wow,
1343
01:09:01,859 --> 01:09:05,062
I just said harkens,
and I shouldn't have.
1344
01:09:05,096 --> 01:09:08,598
Uhm, it's very similar to
your style of writing,
1345
01:09:08,632 --> 01:09:09,533
actually, if anything.
1346
01:09:10,433 --> 01:09:11,635
That's fun.
1347
01:09:11,669 --> 01:09:13,503
I'm a big fan of my own style.
1348
01:09:14,972 --> 01:09:17,809
- And the word harkens...
- You know, we really don't have to talk about
1349
01:09:17,842 --> 01:09:19,710
writing right now.
1350
01:09:19,744 --> 01:09:21,444
Ah, yeah, no,
Haley's right.
1351
01:09:21,478 --> 01:09:24,849
We're up here to do
the whole summer thing.
1352
01:09:24,882 --> 01:09:26,651
No writing.
1353
01:09:26,684 --> 01:09:29,486
Really? Because usually when a
writer gets one on one
1354
01:09:29,519 --> 01:09:31,923
time with me, they want
me to read a script.
1355
01:09:31,956 --> 01:09:33,691
They usually have
a paper one on them.
1356
01:09:34,792 --> 01:09:36,560
Nope, not me.
1357
01:09:36,593 --> 01:09:39,730
I'm not even a big paper
copy kind of guy.
1358
01:09:39,764 --> 01:09:41,498
I guess that's
millennials.
1359
01:09:42,967 --> 01:09:47,504
Okay, this has been very
nice, but, uh, I must
1360
01:09:47,537 --> 01:09:49,807
harken back to my bed.
1361
01:09:52,043 --> 01:09:53,945
Good night, gorgeous.
1362
01:09:53,978 --> 01:09:55,746
- Good night, Dad, love you.
- Mmm hmm.
1363
01:09:58,182 --> 01:10:00,017
Whoo.
1364
01:10:00,051 --> 01:10:01,819
- Have a good one.
- Yep.
1365
01:10:12,429 --> 01:10:14,665
"We can't return,
1366
01:10:14,699 --> 01:10:16,868
we can only
look behind from where we came."
1367
01:10:20,503 --> 01:10:22,173
Yeah, the way we keep
mentioning that song
1368
01:10:22,206 --> 01:10:25,142
I feel like it's going
to come back and sum up
1369
01:10:25,176 --> 01:10:29,847
our relationship in some trite
yet really beautiful way.
1370
01:10:31,782 --> 01:10:33,084
At least it would
if this was a movie.
1371
01:10:36,220 --> 01:10:37,420
But it's not.
1372
01:10:39,123 --> 01:10:40,557
And I'm really glad it's not.
1373
01:12:03,140 --> 01:12:04,775
Hey, sorry.
I didn't see you there.
1374
01:12:04,809 --> 01:12:06,110
Hey, you're up early.
1375
01:12:06,143 --> 01:12:08,779
- Always.
- You too?
1376
01:12:08,813 --> 01:12:11,514
I like to get up while the lake's
still calm and nobody's on it.
1377
01:12:12,283 --> 01:12:14,584
Help me clear my head,
forget about
1378
01:12:14,617 --> 01:12:17,188
the inevitable robot uprising.
1379
01:12:17,221 --> 01:12:19,589
Yeah, looks beautiful out there.
1380
01:12:20,557 --> 01:12:21,659
Looks like glass.
1381
01:12:21,692 --> 01:12:23,227
Say what now?
1382
01:12:23,260 --> 01:12:25,896
The lake, it looks like, uh,
glass.
1383
01:12:27,064 --> 01:12:27,865
Thank you.
1384
01:12:31,836 --> 01:12:32,837
You can come if you want.
1385
01:12:34,205 --> 01:12:35,840
Yeah, sure.
1386
01:12:35,873 --> 01:12:37,074
Get the rope.
1387
01:12:47,018 --> 01:12:49,687
Bulgarian weapon expert.
1388
01:12:49,720 --> 01:12:51,956
Obliterated 80% of the
hearing in this ear,
1389
01:12:51,989 --> 01:12:53,623
so I'm going to assume
you're talking about
1390
01:12:53,657 --> 01:12:56,994
whatever material the lake's
made of and say shore.
1391
01:12:57,028 --> 01:12:58,229
So, shore.
1392
01:13:08,139 --> 01:13:09,140
She's very special.
1393
01:13:10,941 --> 01:13:12,642
I'm not just saying that
like a proud dad.
1394
01:13:12,676 --> 01:13:14,845
I mean, she's fucking
talented, too.
1395
01:13:16,380 --> 01:13:17,647
It's exhausting
sometimes.
1396
01:13:18,883 --> 01:13:21,118
She have her problems?
1397
01:13:21,152 --> 01:13:24,755
- Oh, yeah.
- We still talking about that Bulgarian weapons expert, or?
1398
01:13:24,789 --> 01:13:26,123
Oh, no.
1399
01:13:28,159 --> 01:13:28,993
Haley.
1400
01:13:30,327 --> 01:13:33,164
I can say it because
she takes after me.
1401
01:13:34,732 --> 01:13:36,100
Especially the bad ways.
1402
01:13:37,134 --> 01:13:38,169
She takes after her mother,
she's got this
1403
01:13:38,202 --> 01:13:40,570
bottomless craving
for attention.
1404
01:13:41,772 --> 01:13:43,941
Psycho bitch, that woman.
1405
01:13:43,974 --> 01:13:44,775
Marlene.
1406
01:13:46,710 --> 01:13:47,311
I loved her.
1407
01:13:49,646 --> 01:13:50,681
Probably killed her, too.
1408
01:13:52,149 --> 01:13:53,050
There we go.
1409
01:13:55,653 --> 01:13:58,122
You also remind me of me.
1410
01:13:58,155 --> 01:13:59,290
Ah.
1411
01:14:00,357 --> 01:14:01,859
That's probably why you
guys get along so well.
1412
01:14:05,096 --> 01:14:08,132
She likes to iron out her daddy
issues with the right guy.
1413
01:14:08,165 --> 01:14:10,167
Or the wrong guy.
1414
01:14:13,070 --> 01:14:15,139
Hey, you supposed to be, uh...
1415
01:14:15,172 --> 01:14:17,007
No.
1416
01:14:17,041 --> 01:14:19,343
Hey, sorry, I just, I heard you
were in recovery.
1417
01:14:19,376 --> 01:14:21,946
It's not for you or Haley or anyone
else to worry about. All right?
1418
01:14:24,048 --> 01:14:27,351
I'm a drug addict,
not an alcoholic.
1419
01:14:28,953 --> 01:14:30,654
Okay.
1420
01:14:30,688 --> 01:14:32,256
Fucking A right, it's okay.
1421
01:14:32,289 --> 01:14:34,291
Summertime, middle of the lake,
1422
01:14:34,325 --> 01:14:37,428
having a beer,
couple of writers.
1423
01:14:37,461 --> 01:14:39,230
I don't think it's anything that
needs to reported back to H.R.
1424
01:14:40,464 --> 01:14:41,398
or H.B.
1425
01:14:42,933 --> 01:14:44,435
Yeah, no, I got it.
1426
01:14:44,468 --> 01:14:47,104
I, uh, I didn't mean anything
by that, by the way.
1427
01:14:47,138 --> 01:14:50,207
Hey, look, can we skip
the build-up, hmm?
1428
01:14:51,876 --> 01:14:53,444
I know what spinning
wheels look like
1429
01:14:53,477 --> 01:14:54,912
before you get into a scene.
1430
01:14:57,047 --> 01:14:59,250
- What do you mean?
- Well, you couldn't ask last night.
1431
01:14:59,283 --> 01:15:02,286
She's not here now. What'd she say not
to bring up whatever script you got?
1432
01:15:02,319 --> 01:15:04,288
Nah, we don't need
to talk about that.
1433
01:15:04,321 --> 01:15:05,923
Oh, we're already
talking about it.
1434
01:15:05,956 --> 01:15:06,891
Okay, what is it?
1435
01:15:06,924 --> 01:15:10,161
Movie, TV, comedy, thriller?
1436
01:15:10,194 --> 01:15:12,429
Come on, tell me, I'm
short circuiting up here
1437
01:15:12,463 --> 01:15:13,430
with no stimulus.
1438
01:15:16,000 --> 01:15:17,935
She just, she doesn't want it
interfering with...
1439
01:15:17,968 --> 01:15:19,770
With what?
1440
01:15:19,803 --> 01:15:21,405
My sobriety? Your relationship?
1441
01:15:21,438 --> 01:15:23,474
Bullshit, I'm a fucking
Oscar winner
1442
01:15:23,507 --> 01:15:26,076
offering to look at your
script and give you feedback.
1443
01:15:26,110 --> 01:15:26,944
Who's got to know?
1444
01:15:30,915 --> 01:15:32,883
Ah... Well, it's, uhm...
1445
01:15:34,518 --> 01:15:36,453
It's a very simple movie, uhm...
1446
01:15:36,487 --> 01:15:39,790
Very early Michael Burwell,
actually.
1447
01:15:39,823 --> 01:15:40,724
Well, can't promise
anything'll come of it,
1448
01:15:40,758 --> 01:15:42,726
but I'll give it a read.
1449
01:15:42,760 --> 01:15:45,229
No, no, no.
That's fine. I don't, uh...
1450
01:15:45,262 --> 01:15:48,332
- I don't need anything to come.
- I got to say, if it's good, I mean, if it's really good,
1451
01:15:48,365 --> 01:15:50,267
if it's a really great
piece of writing,
1452
01:15:50,301 --> 01:15:51,869
it's something someone
your age would probably not
1453
01:15:51,902 --> 01:15:53,404
normally produce,
1454
01:15:53,437 --> 01:15:55,973
I will say "Great, good job."
1455
01:15:56,006 --> 01:15:59,843
Maybe get it to my agent's
assistant to look at.
1456
01:16:00,511 --> 01:16:02,947
If it's anything less than
that, I'll say it's great.
1457
01:16:02,980 --> 01:16:05,282
You know, keep at it,
I can see you're talented.
1458
01:16:06,517 --> 01:16:08,385
If, God forbid, it's
a piece of shit,
1459
01:16:08,419 --> 01:16:10,120
well, I'm no saint.
1460
01:16:10,154 --> 01:16:11,422
I'll tell you it's
a piece of shit.
1461
01:16:13,924 --> 01:16:16,860
But I hope that doesn't happen,
because if it does, then well,
1462
01:16:17,928 --> 01:16:19,230
Haley'll find out and
we're both fucked.
1463
01:16:19,263 --> 01:16:22,266
Yeah, honestly, just
having Michael Burwell
1464
01:16:22,299 --> 01:16:25,836
reading my scripts saying, "Yeah,
that's a good script." That's, uh...
1465
01:16:26,971 --> 01:16:28,806
That's good enough for me.
1466
01:16:28,839 --> 01:16:31,108
I know you don't believe that.
1467
01:16:31,141 --> 01:16:32,509
I can see you writing
the bullshit
1468
01:16:32,543 --> 01:16:34,311
as it comes out of your mouth.
1469
01:16:35,179 --> 01:16:36,880
I know because I do
the same thing.
1470
01:16:38,082 --> 01:16:38,849
Transparent.
1471
01:16:40,317 --> 01:16:42,319
I'm not some
film school kid.
1472
01:16:42,353 --> 01:16:44,455
I mean, tell me it's good.
Tell me it's a piece of shit.
1473
01:16:44,488 --> 01:16:47,224
I was kind of over
asking you, anyway.
1474
01:16:47,258 --> 01:16:48,959
Well, I'll give you this.
1475
01:16:52,596 --> 01:16:54,131
Oh, I thought you were going to
say something. I didn't think
1476
01:16:54,164 --> 01:16:55,199
you were actually
going to hand me something.
1477
01:16:55,232 --> 01:16:56,033
And give you this.
1478
01:16:58,369 --> 01:17:00,137
If you really are like me,
1479
01:17:00,170 --> 01:17:02,239
then Haley's already
trying to fix you.
1480
01:17:05,442 --> 01:17:06,543
Mmm.
1481
01:17:09,346 --> 01:17:11,081
Lake's not like glass
anymore, is it?
1482
01:17:12,116 --> 01:17:13,550
Looks like a storm's coming.
1483
01:17:13,584 --> 01:17:15,419
God, I love being up north
1484
01:17:15,452 --> 01:17:18,856
and saying shit like
storm's coming.
1485
01:17:18,889 --> 01:17:19,990
Makes me feel like
a real person,
1486
01:17:20,024 --> 01:17:21,992
not some Hollywood fuck me.
1487
01:17:24,094 --> 01:17:26,430
Give me the script later.
I'm sure you got a paper copy on you.
1488
01:17:34,238 --> 01:17:35,372
Shit.
1489
01:17:43,247 --> 01:17:45,516
Well, you smell like beer.
1490
01:17:48,285 --> 01:17:49,053
Spider on him.
1491
01:18:00,297 --> 01:18:01,498
- Hi.
- Hey.
1492
01:18:01,532 --> 01:18:03,100
Oh, my God.
1493
01:18:04,669 --> 01:18:06,170
Hey, I,
1494
01:18:06,203 --> 01:18:07,938
I woke up and I thought
you'd like,
1495
01:18:07,971 --> 01:18:09,873
one-night standed
me or something.
1496
01:18:09,907 --> 01:18:11,108
Did you think I was really
bad at counting
1497
01:18:11,141 --> 01:18:12,376
one night stands, too,
because it's been
1498
01:18:12,409 --> 01:18:13,444
way more than one night.
1499
01:18:13,477 --> 01:18:14,578
Maybe.
1500
01:18:14,611 --> 01:18:16,513
I've never heard you count.
1501
01:18:16,547 --> 01:18:22,119
Maybe it's like, you could
be all ten, 12, 11, nine.
1502
01:18:22,152 --> 01:18:23,921
I don't know.
1503
01:18:23,954 --> 01:18:25,089
You're not mad that
I went out with him?
1504
01:18:26,123 --> 01:18:27,224
No.
1505
01:18:27,257 --> 01:18:28,492
Why would I be mad?
1506
01:18:30,394 --> 01:18:32,329
Two people I love just
spent time together.
1507
01:18:33,364 --> 01:18:34,298
What'd you say?
1508
01:18:36,066 --> 01:18:36,900
Oopsie doodle.
1509
01:18:38,168 --> 01:18:38,936
Caught me.
1510
01:18:40,337 --> 01:18:41,205
I, uh...
1511
01:18:42,339 --> 01:18:43,173
I love you, too.
1512
01:18:48,979 --> 01:18:49,613
Fuck.
1513
01:18:57,187 --> 01:18:59,289
Hey, I do the same thing.
1514
01:19:03,728 --> 01:19:04,561
Hey.
1515
01:19:06,063 --> 01:19:07,998
Decided to read it.
1516
01:19:08,031 --> 01:19:10,467
I welcome the distraction
from my own shittiness today.
1517
01:19:17,074 --> 01:19:20,978
♪ You never wanted love ♪
1518
01:19:22,045 --> 01:19:25,249
♪ Someone said boy ♪
1519
01:19:25,282 --> 01:19:28,720
I'm just saying. Toilet paper should be
literally any other color than white.
1520
01:19:28,753 --> 01:19:30,454
Like even an off-white
would be better.
1521
01:19:30,487 --> 01:19:32,022
Right?
1522
01:19:32,055 --> 01:19:35,159
It's like, I don't know,
a nice cornsilk.
1523
01:19:35,192 --> 01:19:36,560
Yeah, or eggshell.
1524
01:19:42,332 --> 01:19:43,300
Here comes the rain.
1525
01:19:45,402 --> 01:19:48,338
Man, the hammock is
very rom-com cliched
1526
01:19:48,372 --> 01:19:50,574
- in this situation, do you not think?
- Hmm.
1527
01:19:50,607 --> 01:19:53,076
- This is!
- Oh, my God, oh!
1528
01:19:53,745 --> 01:19:54,978
You! Ah!
1529
01:19:56,647 --> 01:19:57,981
I love you.
1530
01:19:58,015 --> 01:19:59,483
I know, you said that.
1531
01:20:00,685 --> 01:20:02,352
- Inside.
- Inside, okay.
1532
01:20:02,386 --> 01:20:03,387
Come on.
1533
01:20:05,489 --> 01:20:08,158
Is it "lays" or "lies?"
1534
01:20:08,192 --> 01:20:11,228
"He lays" or "he lies?"
1535
01:20:11,261 --> 01:20:12,396
You're aware this game
has nothing to do
1536
01:20:12,429 --> 01:20:13,397
with proper grammar, right?
1537
01:20:13,430 --> 01:20:14,465
It's just spelling.
1538
01:20:15,466 --> 01:20:17,034
Yeah, no, I know.
1539
01:20:17,067 --> 01:20:18,368
I can't spell it anyway.
I've got something else.
1540
01:20:20,504 --> 01:20:22,139
Dinner's ready!
1541
01:20:28,212 --> 01:20:29,213
Sorry.
1542
01:20:30,815 --> 01:20:32,750
You look great.
1543
01:20:35,219 --> 01:20:36,553
So.
1544
01:20:39,556 --> 01:20:40,491
Never like toasts.
1545
01:20:42,559 --> 01:20:44,194
L'chaim!
1546
01:20:45,462 --> 01:20:47,397
- Nice.
- Fine.
1547
01:20:47,431 --> 01:20:50,133
Maybe for your birthday,
I'll get a new joke.
1548
01:20:50,167 --> 01:20:51,335
Which is to say,
1549
01:20:52,202 --> 01:20:55,707
it's been a tough year
for both of us,
1550
01:20:55,740 --> 01:20:58,242
but I'm glad that we
are here, together.
1551
01:21:00,544 --> 01:21:02,045
I realize this is beginning
to sound like
1552
01:21:02,079 --> 01:21:04,615
a suicide pact, so,
I will say that the food
1553
01:21:04,648 --> 01:21:06,350
has not been poisoned.
1554
01:21:06,383 --> 01:21:09,553
It has however, been laced
with delicious gluten,
1555
01:21:09,586 --> 01:21:12,189
because we are no longer in L.A.
1556
01:21:12,222 --> 01:21:13,557
- Thank God for that.
- Yes.
1557
01:21:13,590 --> 01:21:14,792
Boom.
1558
01:21:16,393 --> 01:21:17,194
Cheers.
1559
01:21:19,162 --> 01:21:20,330
- Coke?
- Mmm hmm.
1560
01:21:24,167 --> 01:21:25,435
Wow.
1561
01:21:25,469 --> 01:21:26,503
It's delicious.
1562
01:21:27,371 --> 01:21:29,139
I didn't know you could cook.
1563
01:21:29,172 --> 01:21:31,275
No, Dad used to be a
sous chef, actually,
1564
01:21:31,308 --> 01:21:33,610
at a very swanky restaurant
in Beverly Hills,
1565
01:21:33,644 --> 01:21:35,279
where all the producers ate.
1566
01:21:35,312 --> 01:21:37,849
No, I used to provide
filling foods to people
1567
01:21:37,882 --> 01:21:39,616
while I wrote my first
three scripts,
1568
01:21:39,651 --> 01:21:41,218
which were all filler.
1569
01:21:43,387 --> 01:21:46,490
But I got better, retained
the cooking skills,
1570
01:21:47,591 --> 01:21:48,660
proving it is important...
1571
01:21:50,627 --> 01:21:51,763
to not be...
1572
01:21:53,363 --> 01:21:55,432
all in on only one thing.
1573
01:22:04,241 --> 01:22:05,075
Oh.
1574
01:22:06,443 --> 01:22:08,478
Dad, that was amazing.
1575
01:22:08,512 --> 01:22:10,147
Thank you.
1576
01:22:10,180 --> 01:22:11,381
Yeah, I'm going to have
to take after you
1577
01:22:11,415 --> 01:22:13,216
and become a writer who cooks,
1578
01:22:13,250 --> 01:22:15,887
instead of a one-dimensional
writer who just
1579
01:22:15,920 --> 01:22:17,722
you know, writes.
1580
01:22:21,425 --> 01:22:24,696
Hales, go, go, go, go, uh,
find us a movie to watch
1581
01:22:24,729 --> 01:22:27,331
while Cole and I do
something not all
1582
01:22:27,364 --> 01:22:30,133
surprising or commemorative
for your birthday.
1583
01:22:30,167 --> 01:22:31,201
Right.
1584
01:22:36,373 --> 01:22:38,408
Read your script.
1585
01:22:38,442 --> 01:22:39,844
Oh, wow, jeez. Thank you.
1586
01:22:42,714 --> 01:22:45,382
You're talented is
what I would say
1587
01:22:45,415 --> 01:22:46,851
if you were talented...
1588
01:22:48,485 --> 01:22:50,487
and you are, so,
you're talented.
1589
01:22:52,824 --> 01:22:53,725
Almost everything...
1590
01:22:55,793 --> 01:22:58,528
I've read from people
of your age
1591
01:22:58,562 --> 01:23:01,365
is worse than this which
is definitely a good thing.
1592
01:23:01,398 --> 01:23:03,467
I liked that you didn't
go down the, uh,
1593
01:23:03,500 --> 01:23:06,704
obvious path with
what you set up.
1594
01:23:06,738 --> 01:23:10,675
Dialogue was crisp and witty.
1595
01:23:10,708 --> 01:23:13,276
Yeah, I think it's a
really great script,
1596
01:23:13,310 --> 01:23:15,479
and it's actually quite
filmable if I could
1597
01:23:15,512 --> 01:23:16,446
just get it to the right...
1598
01:23:16,480 --> 01:23:17,949
Could use some tweaks
1599
01:23:17,982 --> 01:23:19,951
is what Greg would say.
1600
01:23:19,984 --> 01:23:21,886
Greg is Rob's assistant.
1601
01:23:21,919 --> 01:23:25,522
Rob is my agent or
my agent's agent
1602
01:23:25,555 --> 01:23:27,792
or let's see that makes
Dave my agent, so,
1603
01:23:27,825 --> 01:23:33,865
is Dave Mitch's manager's
assistant manager.
1604
01:23:35,365 --> 01:23:36,333
Hmm.
1605
01:23:50,715 --> 01:23:53,785
You know, we, uh, we actually,
we don't have to talk about it.
1606
01:23:53,818 --> 01:23:54,652
Sure.
1607
01:23:55,887 --> 01:23:57,587
All of your characters
are unlikeable.
1608
01:23:58,823 --> 01:24:01,324
Well, people aren't necessarily
likable in the real world.
1609
01:24:01,358 --> 01:24:03,761
And the ending,
just unsatisfying.
1610
01:24:03,795 --> 01:24:05,763
There's no, nothing's resolved.
1611
01:24:08,565 --> 01:24:11,435
Well, I mean, that's
life, right?
1612
01:24:11,468 --> 01:24:13,270
Don't always get
things wrapped up
1613
01:24:13,303 --> 01:24:14,806
the way that we want.
1614
01:24:14,839 --> 01:24:17,607
Little commercialism
wouldn't kill you, hmm?
1615
01:24:18,542 --> 01:24:21,244
You know, re-write it,
give a similar root for
1616
01:24:21,278 --> 01:24:25,515
and, uh, I don't know, maybe,
uh, a win in the end.
1617
01:24:36,593 --> 01:24:37,862
That's really great advice.
1618
01:24:39,362 --> 01:24:41,899
Thanks again for reading
it, honestly.
1619
01:24:44,534 --> 01:24:45,502
Happy ending, yeah.
1620
01:24:47,437 --> 01:24:49,674
You ever think that maybe you're
just a part of the old guard?
1621
01:24:49,707 --> 01:24:52,744
You know? I mean, movies are
made differently now.
1622
01:24:52,777 --> 01:24:57,514
Oh, yes, I hear everyone's dying to see the new
YouTube short shot entirely from a smart pack.
1623
01:24:57,547 --> 01:24:59,884
And when your generation
dies out, no offense,
1624
01:24:59,917 --> 01:25:02,720
we'll be able to make movies that
don't follow the same sick story lines.
1625
01:25:02,754 --> 01:25:04,989
No one ever says
no offense and then
1626
01:25:05,022 --> 01:25:08,358
says something like,
"I love cinnamon buns."
1627
01:25:08,391 --> 01:25:10,695
Now that is a sentence that
truly means no offense.
1628
01:25:10,728 --> 01:25:14,031
- You know, I just don't think you get it.
- I get it.
1629
01:25:14,065 --> 01:25:17,034
- You're kind of unlikeable.
- I said I it was pretty good.
1630
01:25:17,068 --> 01:25:20,705
- Pretty good means fuck all to me.
- Your fuck all means what to me?
1631
01:25:20,738 --> 01:25:23,074
Sorry, because I'm old and
my generation needs to die out
1632
01:25:23,107 --> 01:25:27,344
- so, fuck, fuck all?
- You know what?
1633
01:25:27,377 --> 01:25:29,847
It's fine. You're allowed to not like the
script, it's just I can't help but wonder
1634
01:25:29,881 --> 01:25:31,849
how you would feel about it if
you read it when you weren't drunk
1635
01:25:31,883 --> 01:25:34,417
- or on whatever drugs you're doing.
- I'm not on drugs.
1636
01:25:34,451 --> 01:25:36,319
Oh, maybe that's it, then.
1637
01:25:36,353 --> 01:25:37,822
Because I'm realizing
as I say it out loud
1638
01:25:37,855 --> 01:25:40,958
that your best work actually
came when you were stoned.
1639
01:25:40,992 --> 01:25:43,027
It's when you got clean that the
creativity kind of went away.
1640
01:25:43,060 --> 01:25:46,097
You are kind of a piece of shit.
1641
01:25:46,130 --> 01:25:48,866
Like I see where you got
inspiration for your main character.
1642
01:25:48,900 --> 01:25:50,701
I could write it the way that you want
it, but then I'd just
1643
01:25:50,735 --> 01:25:51,869
be another
Michael Burwell, wouldn't I?
1644
01:25:51,903 --> 01:25:53,037
Isn't that what you want?
I mean,
1645
01:25:53,070 --> 01:25:54,038
you gave me the fucking script.
1646
01:25:54,071 --> 01:25:54,906
You.
1647
01:25:57,008 --> 01:25:59,409
Maybe I am like you.
1648
01:25:59,442 --> 01:26:02,113
But you know what?
You really treat her like crap.
1649
01:26:02,146 --> 01:26:04,381
I mean, you sneak around,
talking shit,
1650
01:26:04,414 --> 01:26:05,716
lying about being sober?
1651
01:26:07,885 --> 01:26:10,021
I don't suppose that the
fact that her last name
1652
01:26:10,054 --> 01:26:13,958
is Burwell made you like her just a
fraction more than you would have?
1653
01:26:13,991 --> 01:26:16,761
She knows that we got
together so I could meet you.
1654
01:26:16,794 --> 01:26:18,461
She knows that and
she didn't care.
1655
01:26:18,495 --> 01:26:19,897
Of course.
1656
01:26:19,931 --> 01:26:22,566
Because it doesn't matter
where we move.
1657
01:26:22,599 --> 01:26:23,600
This is going to keep happening.
1658
01:26:23,633 --> 01:26:24,836
Oh!
1659
01:26:24,869 --> 01:26:26,603
Hey, we got you a cake.
1660
01:26:28,638 --> 01:26:30,607
What are you talking about?
1661
01:26:30,640 --> 01:26:33,878
Obviously, this is the
ending I deserve!
1662
01:26:33,911 --> 01:26:36,814
It was always heading this way
1663
01:26:36,848 --> 01:26:40,151
and to think I was good enough
to write myself out of this.
1664
01:26:40,184 --> 01:26:41,451
Well, I guess I really
am unlikeable.
1665
01:26:42,519 --> 01:26:44,655
No, I don't, what are you...
1666
01:26:44,689 --> 01:26:45,790
I'm not going to do this again.
1667
01:26:46,724 --> 01:26:47,792
Cole, what?
1668
01:26:48,993 --> 01:26:53,097
Shit, we cut the cake before we
lit the candles.
1669
01:26:53,998 --> 01:26:56,767
Dreamy ice creamy, remember
that, Hales?
1670
01:26:56,801 --> 01:26:57,902
Where's that from?
1671
01:26:57,935 --> 01:26:59,070
Is that from anything?
1672
01:26:59,103 --> 01:27:00,905
That was from nothing.
1673
01:27:00,938 --> 01:27:03,908
Well, let us eat cake.
Where's that from?
1674
01:27:03,941 --> 01:27:07,577
Jesus Christ, what the fuck
is wrong with you people?
1675
01:27:07,611 --> 01:27:09,113
Is it your family
motive to play off
1676
01:27:09,146 --> 01:27:11,548
every fatal flaw
like a fun quirk?
1677
01:27:11,581 --> 01:27:14,484
Haley, kick me out! I'm toxic.
1678
01:27:14,517 --> 01:27:16,020
I'm just going to keep
fucking lying to you,
1679
01:27:16,053 --> 01:27:17,989
so force me out of your
life, otherwise,
1680
01:27:18,022 --> 01:27:19,190
I'm just going to
keep coming back.
1681
01:27:19,223 --> 01:27:22,592
- What did you do?
- Your dad read my script.
1682
01:27:22,626 --> 01:27:24,028
He asked and I answered.
1683
01:27:28,032 --> 01:27:30,034
I really was here for
you, I was, I just, I...
1684
01:27:32,003 --> 01:27:34,171
And I wanted it to be as good
as I thought it was, but...
1685
01:27:37,208 --> 01:27:38,608
That script is all I have.
1686
01:27:40,610 --> 01:27:41,379
No.
1687
01:27:42,680 --> 01:27:43,948
No, you're not allowed
to say that.
1688
01:27:43,981 --> 01:27:46,817
You're not allowed
to do that, okay?
1689
01:27:46,851 --> 01:27:49,486
If you think that you
can just erase me,
1690
01:27:49,519 --> 01:27:51,188
you can't do that, okay?
1691
01:27:52,990 --> 01:27:54,725
That's just every nightmare
I've ever had.
1692
01:27:54,759 --> 01:27:55,625
Yeah, I am a nightmare.
1693
01:27:57,929 --> 01:27:59,764
You know what? You don't have to
kick me out. I'm going.
1694
01:28:34,631 --> 01:28:36,499
♪ Take a step ♪
1695
01:28:36,533 --> 01:28:42,639
♪ Don't look back ♪
1696
01:28:42,673 --> 01:28:44,641
♪ Take a step ♪
1697
01:28:44,675 --> 01:28:46,711
♪ And don't look back ♪
1698
01:28:46,744 --> 01:28:47,878
♪ Don't look back ♪
1699
01:28:50,982 --> 01:28:54,051
♪ Watching minutes slip away ♪
1700
01:28:54,919 --> 01:28:58,089
♪ Thinking things
I'll never say ♪
1701
01:28:58,990 --> 01:29:02,860
♪ I know I've got
to make a change ♪
1702
01:29:02,893 --> 01:29:05,896
♪ Because I can't waste
another day ♪
1703
01:29:07,131 --> 01:29:09,100
♪ Because I been waiting ♪
1704
01:29:09,133 --> 01:29:11,568
♪ But I can't stay ♪
1705
01:29:11,601 --> 01:29:12,203
♪ I'm waiting ♪
1706
01:29:29,887 --> 01:29:32,123
To me being a fucking asshole.
1707
01:29:32,156 --> 01:29:33,657
I wouldn't even cheers to that.
1708
01:29:35,259 --> 01:29:37,560
You don't have to cheers to it.
It's just a thing.
1709
01:29:39,363 --> 01:29:43,633
You're asshole-ish, because
you're oblivious, but,
1710
01:29:44,335 --> 01:29:47,772
I wouldn't say in the eight years
I've know you you've ever been
1711
01:29:47,805 --> 01:29:50,007
like, a full asshole,
not on purpose.
1712
01:29:50,041 --> 01:29:50,908
Yeah, well.
1713
01:29:51,976 --> 01:29:53,177
Things changed this summer.
1714
01:29:57,782 --> 01:29:58,816
You leaving already?
1715
01:30:02,119 --> 01:30:05,588
You were really caught
up in Haley and...
1716
01:30:07,024 --> 01:30:09,326
things were moving fast
and I just figured
1717
01:30:09,360 --> 01:30:10,895
why wait?
1718
01:30:10,928 --> 01:30:11,729
So, uhm...
1719
01:30:12,897 --> 01:30:14,597
yeah, tomorrow night now.
1720
01:30:14,631 --> 01:30:16,367
The guy, roommate.
1721
01:30:28,712 --> 01:30:32,983
Look, you aimed for something
instead of staying still, so,
1722
01:30:33,017 --> 01:30:33,784
points for that.
1723
01:30:35,152 --> 01:30:38,222
Well, my aim was off.
1724
01:30:42,093 --> 01:30:43,160
Look, when I called you
1725
01:30:44,161 --> 01:30:45,196
asshole-ish, I...
1726
01:30:46,964 --> 01:30:48,966
I don't even think you're that,
man. You're just...
1727
01:30:50,668 --> 01:30:51,969
Cole, which...
1728
01:30:53,337 --> 01:30:54,338
I think is...
1729
01:30:56,707 --> 01:30:58,309
decent.
1730
01:30:58,342 --> 01:30:59,176
Decent.
1731
01:31:00,811 --> 01:31:03,180
We root for decent
people to find each other
1732
01:31:03,214 --> 01:31:05,683
and fall in love, that's what?
1733
01:31:05,716 --> 01:31:08,352
Lesson one of Screenwriting 101?
1734
01:31:10,788 --> 01:31:12,289
You give the audience
what they want.
1735
01:31:14,458 --> 01:31:15,826
So why can't I do that?
1736
01:31:18,395 --> 01:31:20,364
I think because you
get in your own way.
1737
01:31:22,399 --> 01:31:25,069
You over-complicate things when
1738
01:31:25,102 --> 01:31:27,438
there's a simpler solution
right in front of you.
1739
01:31:36,747 --> 01:31:38,249
See, this feels like real life.
1740
01:31:40,484 --> 01:31:41,785
I'm thinking, just...
1741
01:31:42,953 --> 01:31:44,121
I don't know.
1742
01:31:44,155 --> 01:31:45,055
It feels...
1743
01:31:46,290 --> 01:31:47,124
Right.
1744
01:31:58,369 --> 01:32:01,172
It's weird that's you.
You're the protagonist.
1745
01:32:04,275 --> 01:32:06,243
You just got all these
stories going on.
1746
01:32:10,314 --> 01:32:11,882
If I was the protagonist,
1747
01:32:12,983 --> 01:32:14,351
would you root for me?
1748
01:32:20,424 --> 01:32:21,959
I have been rooting for you...
1749
01:32:23,294 --> 01:32:24,795
in one way or another...
1750
01:32:26,030 --> 01:32:27,198
for a very long time.
1751
01:32:31,435 --> 01:32:32,770
Who knows what that means?
1752
01:32:41,378 --> 01:32:43,881
You've been rooting
for me for a long time.
1753
01:32:50,321 --> 01:32:53,023
You want pajama bottoms?
1754
01:33:15,112 --> 01:33:16,347
I think I know what that means.
1755
01:33:19,316 --> 01:33:21,018
You're a scheming piece of shit.
1756
01:33:23,120 --> 01:33:24,255
We learned from the same films.
1757
01:33:26,323 --> 01:33:27,224
I'm not gay.
1758
01:33:28,359 --> 01:33:29,927
You're not straight.
1759
01:33:39,203 --> 01:33:41,338
Do you know the way
you look at me?
1760
01:33:43,240 --> 01:33:44,942
The way we talk?
1761
01:33:44,975 --> 01:33:48,178
I just thought dating
this girl would finally...
1762
01:33:52,383 --> 01:33:53,217
Okay.
1763
01:33:55,252 --> 01:33:56,120
I'm an asshole, too.
1764
01:33:57,288 --> 01:33:58,255
I guess, uhm...
1765
01:33:59,890 --> 01:34:00,924
everybody's got a plan.
1766
01:34:10,234 --> 01:34:11,201
Another drink?
1767
01:34:44,068 --> 01:34:45,002
What do you do?
1768
01:34:48,072 --> 01:34:50,874
It's just I've got
some good ideas.
1769
01:34:50,908 --> 01:34:53,410
I want to channel them while
I still feel like crap.
1770
01:34:57,981 --> 01:35:00,384
Just because you know,
I'm hangover.
1771
01:35:01,385 --> 01:35:03,620
Yeah, well, make sure
you drink lots of water.
1772
01:35:03,655 --> 01:35:05,322
Yeah?
1773
01:35:05,356 --> 01:35:07,324
Is that a drinking
tip people know?
1774
01:35:07,358 --> 01:35:09,393
Yeah, people who've been drinking
for longer than six weeks.
1775
01:35:09,426 --> 01:35:10,361
Well...
1776
01:35:11,295 --> 01:35:12,529
See you to...
1777
01:35:14,231 --> 01:35:15,999
No, you're leaving
tonight, shit.
1778
01:35:17,301 --> 01:35:21,105
All right, well just, uh,
text me and I'll,
1779
01:35:21,138 --> 01:35:24,408
I'll come back and
say, you know.
1780
01:35:24,441 --> 01:35:26,443
Yeah. And I'm...
1781
01:35:26,477 --> 01:35:28,011
It'd be nice if you
said you know.
1782
01:36:23,300 --> 01:36:25,502
♪ I feel the lines ♪
1783
01:36:27,438 --> 01:36:29,373
♪ The timed designs ♪
1784
01:36:31,208 --> 01:36:32,643
♪ The charter map ♪
1785
01:36:34,746 --> 01:36:36,714
♪ Across your face ♪
1786
01:36:38,515 --> 01:36:39,983
♪ With every smile ♪
1787
01:36:42,252 --> 01:36:44,021
♪ They built their mile ♪
1788
01:36:46,056 --> 01:36:47,659
♪ And with each tear ♪
1789
01:36:49,626 --> 01:36:51,195
♪ At twice the pace ♪
1790
01:36:54,431 --> 01:36:58,335
♪ We were young a year ago ♪
1791
01:36:58,368 --> 01:37:01,605
♪ That's all it takes, that's all it takes ♪
1792
01:37:01,638 --> 01:37:05,476
♪ We were young a year ago ♪
1793
01:37:05,509 --> 01:37:09,079
♪ Is it too late
is it too late ♪
1794
01:37:15,753 --> 01:37:17,354
♪ The second hand ♪
1795
01:37:19,256 --> 01:37:21,225
♪ Comes 'round again ♪
1796
01:37:23,093 --> 01:37:24,294
♪ It lives to pass ♪
1797
01:37:26,731 --> 01:37:28,365
♪ And will not land ♪
1798
01:37:30,467 --> 01:37:32,102
♪ It is our fate ♪
1799
01:37:34,171 --> 01:37:36,173
- ♪ With each new day ♪
- You're a walking cliché.
1800
01:37:37,775 --> 01:37:39,409
♪ The hourglass ♪
1801
01:37:41,411 --> 01:37:43,781
♪ Becomes the sand ♪
1802
01:37:46,316 --> 01:37:50,053
♪ We were young a year ago ♪
1803
01:37:50,087 --> 01:37:53,658
♪ That's all it takes
that's all it takes ♪
1804
01:37:53,691 --> 01:37:57,528
♪ We were young a year ago ♪
1805
01:37:57,561 --> 01:38:01,131
♪ Is it too late
is it too late ♪
1806
01:38:01,164 --> 01:38:04,702
♪ We were young a year ago ♪
1807
01:38:04,736 --> 01:38:08,572
♪ That's all it takes
that's all it takes ♪
1808
01:38:08,605 --> 01:38:12,309
♪ We were young a year ago ♪
1809
01:38:12,342 --> 01:38:16,246
♪ Is it too late
is it too late ♪
1810
01:38:26,223 --> 01:38:27,659
Hi, hey.
1811
01:38:27,692 --> 01:38:31,094
I have a reservation for
the time loop at eight.
1812
01:38:31,128 --> 01:38:32,730
You are three minutes late.
1813
01:38:33,630 --> 01:38:34,565
Got to respect the room.
1814
01:38:46,878 --> 01:38:48,813
Guess that's not a snake
petting zoo, huh?
1815
01:38:52,416 --> 01:38:54,217
I was hoping
you wouldn't come.
1816
01:38:54,251 --> 01:38:55,653
So then why did you?
1817
01:38:57,487 --> 01:38:59,423
To see if movie endings
really do exist.
1818
01:39:01,893 --> 01:39:04,528
So now you want a movie ending?
1819
01:39:04,561 --> 01:39:07,631
Well, this isn't
a movie ending, you know.
1820
01:39:07,665 --> 01:39:10,868
A movie ending would have
been you not showing up.
1821
01:39:12,536 --> 01:39:14,237
I came here hoping
that you wouldn't,
1822
01:39:14,271 --> 01:39:17,341
because that would have
meant that you had moved on.
1823
01:39:20,410 --> 01:39:22,279
Or maybe I just
wanted to see you.
1824
01:39:23,180 --> 01:39:25,315
Well, then we really
are perfect for each other,
1825
01:39:25,349 --> 01:39:27,484
because you do stupid things
over and over again, too.
1826
01:39:29,887 --> 01:39:31,288
Yeah, there's
a word for that.
1827
01:39:36,360 --> 01:39:38,896
"We can't return. We can only
look behind from where we came."
1828
01:39:40,965 --> 01:39:42,700
I never said that
I wanted to return.
1829
01:39:42,734 --> 01:39:43,768
Then why are you here?
1830
01:39:46,303 --> 01:39:48,338
I'm here because I
have problems, so.
1831
01:39:49,272 --> 01:39:50,942
I'm not here to diagnose
you, but I think your dad
1832
01:39:50,975 --> 01:39:52,744
has a lot to do with why
you think you're messed up.
1833
01:39:55,780 --> 01:39:58,315
Okay, Cole.
How'd you find me, huh?
1834
01:39:58,348 --> 01:39:59,917
By being a selfish creep.
1835
01:39:59,951 --> 01:40:01,451
No, no, how'd you find me?
1836
01:40:01,485 --> 01:40:02,486
I stalked you.
1837
01:40:03,387 --> 01:40:04,454
Because I let you.
1838
01:40:07,224 --> 01:40:09,226
Why do you think I came out for
air that night at graduation?
1839
01:40:10,962 --> 01:40:13,597
Who actually
does that?
1840
01:40:13,630 --> 01:40:14,799
There's tons of air inside.
1841
01:40:16,266 --> 01:40:18,335
But I saw you having none of it.
1842
01:40:19,503 --> 01:40:21,204
I guess you looked lonely, so.
1843
01:40:21,873 --> 01:40:24,508
So, I went outside and
I stoked the coals.
1844
01:40:24,541 --> 01:40:25,642
Flames, what...
1845
01:40:25,677 --> 01:40:27,477
I made a fucked up plan.
1846
01:40:27,511 --> 01:40:29,446
Yeah, and I left you
clues along the way.
1847
01:40:29,479 --> 01:40:33,550
I constantly posted where I was.
1848
01:40:33,583 --> 01:40:34,786
You know what's really
screwed up is that
1849
01:40:34,819 --> 01:40:38,422
I saw you following
me before the bakery
1850
01:40:38,455 --> 01:40:40,658
and I was thrilled
because somehow that meant
1851
01:40:40,692 --> 01:40:42,325
that I was less alone.
1852
01:40:43,527 --> 01:40:45,228
Why not just give me your phone
number at graduation, then?
1853
01:40:46,329 --> 01:40:47,699
Why not just be normal about it?
1854
01:40:47,732 --> 01:40:49,734
Look I... Neither of us
are normal.
1855
01:40:53,805 --> 01:40:56,406
Is there a six digit code
on the posters behind you, there?
1856
01:40:58,508 --> 01:40:59,309
Yeah.
1857
01:41:00,678 --> 01:41:02,747
1-2-0-1-1-7.
1858
01:41:10,487 --> 01:41:11,889
Why didn't I give you my number?
1859
01:41:14,458 --> 01:41:15,827
Because I wanted you to find me.
1860
01:41:17,627 --> 01:41:19,496
I wanted you to prove
that you wanted me.
1861
01:41:21,331 --> 01:41:25,770
Because goddammit,
I am so sick and tired
1862
01:41:25,803 --> 01:41:27,437
of just being obsessed
with people
1863
01:41:27,471 --> 01:41:28,538
that aren't obsessed
with me back.
1864
01:41:32,844 --> 01:41:34,812
Well, I'm sorry I was
obsessed for the wrong reason.
1865
01:41:37,547 --> 01:41:38,916
I'm sorry I couldn't
make it the right reason.
1866
01:41:43,054 --> 01:41:43,855
I'm sorry.
1867
01:41:50,393 --> 01:41:51,261
Well, thanks.
1868
01:41:52,997 --> 01:41:54,564
For your apology, anyway.
1869
01:41:54,598 --> 01:41:56,000
For what it's worth,
when I said I loved you,
1870
01:41:56,033 --> 01:41:57,702
I really wanted to mean that.
1871
01:41:59,402 --> 01:42:01,438
It's just not how I'm written.
1872
01:42:01,471 --> 01:42:03,440
I can't have that standard
happy ending with you,
1873
01:42:03,473 --> 01:42:04,541
because I'm...
1874
01:42:08,079 --> 01:42:09,613
It's not who I'm meant to be.
1875
01:42:21,926 --> 01:42:23,560
And we're back where we started.
1876
01:42:23,593 --> 01:42:25,930
Yep, symbolic, no?
1877
01:42:28,833 --> 01:42:29,734
Hey, you know that word?
1878
01:42:31,869 --> 01:42:35,072
The one for doing stupid
things over and over again?
1879
01:42:36,908 --> 01:42:37,775
It's "addiction."
1880
01:42:39,677 --> 01:42:41,411
So, you're right.
1881
01:42:41,444 --> 01:42:42,612
I am messed up
because of my dad.
1882
01:42:44,749 --> 01:42:45,983
He's addicted to drugs
and alcohol.
1883
01:42:46,017 --> 01:42:48,418
I'm addicted... to people.
1884
01:42:51,122 --> 01:42:52,757
And that's why I'm
here right now,
1885
01:42:52,790 --> 01:42:54,826
because I wanted to see
if you'd be here, too.
1886
01:42:56,426 --> 01:42:58,095
It's like the final
pill in the bottle.
1887
01:43:01,666 --> 01:43:02,667
It's closure.
1888
01:43:04,836 --> 01:43:06,804
I just really need
1889
01:43:06,838 --> 01:43:09,907
to close this circle
so I can finally step out of it.
1890
01:43:16,080 --> 01:43:17,414
Well, that sounds, uh...
1891
01:43:19,717 --> 01:43:20,852
Like a really good ending.
1892
01:44:37,995 --> 01:44:39,664
♪ Yesterday ♪
1893
01:44:39,697 --> 01:44:44,835
♪ A child came out to wander ♪
1894
01:44:45,970 --> 01:44:51,441
♪ Caught a dragonfly
inside a jar ♪
1895
01:44:54,111 --> 01:44:59,482
♪ Fearful when the sky
was full of thunder ♪
1896
01:45:02,286 --> 01:45:07,959
♪ And tearful at the
falling of a star ♪
1897
01:45:09,961 --> 01:45:14,098
♪ And seasons they go
round and round ♪
1898
01:45:14,131 --> 01:45:19,036
♪ And the painted ponies
go up and down ♪
1899
01:45:19,070 --> 01:45:24,909
♪ We're captive on the
carousel of time ♪
1900
01:45:26,811 --> 01:45:28,645
♪ We can't return ♪
1901
01:45:28,679 --> 01:45:33,851
♪ We can only look behind
from where we came ♪
1902
01:45:33,884 --> 01:45:37,254
♪ And go round and
round and round ♪
1903
01:45:37,288 --> 01:45:40,523
♪ In the circle game ♪
1904
01:45:42,960 --> 01:45:48,766
♪ Sixteen springs and
sixteen summers gone now ♪
1905
01:45:51,202 --> 01:45:54,071
♪ Cartwheels turned
to car wheels ♪
1906
01:45:54,105 --> 01:45:56,741
♪ Through the town ♪
1907
01:45:58,976 --> 01:46:01,746
♪ And they tell him
take your time ♪
1908
01:46:01,779 --> 01:46:06,017
♪ It won't be long now ♪
1909
01:46:07,118 --> 01:46:12,890
♪ 'Till you drag your feet
to slow the circles down ♪
1910
01:46:14,959 --> 01:46:18,996
♪ And the seasons they
go round and round ♪
1911
01:46:19,030 --> 01:46:24,001
♪ And the painted ponies
go up and down ♪
1912
01:46:24,035 --> 01:46:30,808
♪ We're captive on the
carousel of time ♪
1913
01:46:32,076 --> 01:46:38,916
♪ We can't return We can only
look behind from where we came ♪
1914
01:46:38,949 --> 01:46:42,153
♪ And go round and
round and round ♪
1915
01:46:42,186 --> 01:46:45,122
♪ In the circle game ♪
1916
01:46:47,758 --> 01:46:53,798
♪ So the years spin by
and now the boy is 20 ♪
1917
01:46:56,267 --> 01:46:59,837
♪ Though his dreams have
lost some grandeur ♪
1918
01:46:59,870 --> 01:47:04,108
♪ Coming true ♪
1919
01:47:04,141 --> 01:47:06,143
♪ They'll be new dreams ♪
1920
01:47:06,177 --> 01:47:11,015
♪ Maybe better dreams
and plenty ♪
1921
01:47:12,983 --> 01:47:18,823
♪ Before the last
revolving year is through ♪
1922
01:47:20,691 --> 01:47:24,627
♪ And the seasons they
go round and round ♪
1923
01:47:24,662 --> 01:47:29,733
♪ And the painted ponies
go up and down ♪
1924
01:47:29,767 --> 01:47:36,140
♪ We're captive on the
carousel of time ♪
1925
01:47:37,875 --> 01:47:44,348
♪ We can't return We can only
look behind from where we came ♪
1926
01:47:44,381 --> 01:47:47,952
♪ And go round and
round and round ♪
1927
01:47:47,985 --> 01:47:51,755
♪ In the circle game ♪
1928
01:47:52,756 --> 01:47:56,994
♪ And go round and
round and round ♪
1929
01:47:57,027 --> 01:48:00,264
♪ In the circle game ♪
1930
01:48:09,506 --> 01:48:14,506
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
1931
01:48:34,832 --> 01:48:37,902
♪ All those blissful days ♪
1932
01:48:37,935 --> 01:48:41,272
♪ That we kissed and waved ♪
1933
01:48:47,411 --> 01:48:50,848
♪ Looking back tonight ♪
1934
01:48:50,881 --> 01:48:53,717
♪ I was half alive ♪
1935
01:49:00,424 --> 01:49:03,827
♪ Growing older now ♪
1936
01:49:03,861 --> 01:49:07,798
♪ And not coming down right ♪
1937
01:49:07,831 --> 01:49:10,201
♪ When I was young ♪
1938
01:49:10,234 --> 01:49:13,904
♪ All I did was run ♪
1939
01:49:13,938 --> 01:49:17,174
♪ And the man I was ♪
1940
01:49:17,208 --> 01:49:19,009
♪ What has he become ♪
1941
01:49:25,216 --> 01:49:30,888
♪ And it's all ♪
1942
01:49:30,921 --> 01:49:33,023
♪ Catching up to me ♪
1943
01:49:39,363 --> 01:49:42,366
♪ Looking back tonight ♪
1944
01:49:42,399 --> 01:49:45,302
♪ I was half alive ♪
1945
01:49:46,437 --> 01:49:52,209
♪ Ah ♪
1946
01:49:52,243 --> 01:49:55,946
♪ And the man I was ♪
1947
01:49:55,980 --> 01:49:58,515
♪ What has he become ♪
1948
01:49:59,483 --> 01:50:02,453
♪ Oh ♪
1949
01:50:03,954 --> 01:50:09,493
♪ And it's all ♪
1950
01:50:09,526 --> 01:50:15,399
♪ Catching up to me ♪
1951
01:50:16,967 --> 01:50:19,803
♪ And it's all ♪
1952
01:50:23,007 --> 01:50:26,343
♪ Catching up to me ♪
1953
01:50:26,377 --> 01:50:30,948
♪ You got love You fall down
'til you can't stand up ♪
1954
01:50:30,981 --> 01:50:34,351
♪ It's all ♪
1955
01:50:34,385 --> 01:50:39,223
♪ You fall down and
it's catching up to me ♪
1956
01:50:42,026 --> 01:50:44,194
♪ Catching up to me ♪
1957
01:50:49,333 --> 01:50:55,139
♪ And it's all ♪
1958
01:50:55,172 --> 01:50:55,239
♪ Catching up to me ♪
148239
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.