All language subtitles for kenan.s01e05

- Synced and corrected by afre -
- www.addic7ed.com -

? Who gonna take care of you. Flipp'd? ?

? We're Flipp'd, oh yeah, uh-huh ?

? We know we're hella fine ?

? Come on girl, you proved your point ?

? Fall back ?

? Readin' all them books for school ?

? Uh-uh, put your book down ?

? Girl, quit your job
and blow this joint ?

? Stand back ?

? And watch me do kung fu ?

? 'Cause I'll ?

? Yeah ?
? Take care ?

? Uh-uh ?

? Of you ?

? Tell me what's on your mind ?

? Just tell me what's on your mind ?

? Your thinkin' days ?

? Are through ?

Wow.

All right, look at that.

Wow, man.

I didn't know that you guys
were gonna play

that old footage, you know.
Take about a blast from the baggy past.

Well, don't worry, Kenan.
We'll be embarrassing you all week

as we celebrate ten years of "Wake Up!"

Can you believe it's been ten years

of me doing the best job on the planet?

We love you, Kenan.

- Are you hearing this?
- I am.

It might be a little too much,
but I do love it.

Well, it's about to get even crazier.

One of your old bandmates is here.

Ladies, put your hands together

for international recording star Sateen!

Blam-blam.

Sateen, good to see you, my boy.

Yeah.

- Okay, I guess I'll...
- Whoo!

I'll sit right here.

Okay, okay.

Save some applause for later this week,

because Sateen's agreed
to join us Friday

for a Flipp'd reunion performance,

the first in over two decades.

Look at that reaction.

Yeah, I... I think I warmed
them up when they...

they were cheering for me.

Yo, watching that Flipp'd stuff, man,

- that was wild.
- Yeah.

You know, when Gary broke up
with the band,

we thought it was over for us.

But look at us now, me with music,

you slaying with that
Young Al Roker energy

- on a national morning show.
- Ooh!

National. I wish.

Actually, I think what Sateen meant

was just that usually
there's only one member

of a band that goes big solo,

but in our case it's really cool,

because we like co-Beyonc�s, you know.

Ahh-ha-ha-ha!

Yeah.

It's impossible to tell
who's the bigger star, right?

- Ladies.
- L-l-ladies.

That's right.

So we'll be back with more

with my peer and fellow artist Sateen,

and then later on I'll find out

just how many ghost peppers
I can keister.

I'm sorry, what?

Well, that's got to be a mistake.

Stick around.

Damn, it's like a SkyMall in here, man.

How much stuff you gotta bring
with you to do a morning show?

Oh, no, your show gave me all this.

- Yeah.
- Man, we had Michelle Obama

on the show, and she had to
share a dressing room

with a chess playing horse
named Bobby Fish-Horse.

Mm, I guess it's in my deal.

My manager don't play.

He's the guy that convinced the world

that "Stranger Things" was great.

- Hmm.
- Kenan, big fan.

I'm Various Tucker.

Sorry, king,
little bit of business here.

This is that real estate thing.

- Okay.
- This is your endorsement

deal for you torso.

And this will make you
the new official face

of Newman's Own.

They wanted someone better-lookin'.

Wow, 'Teen, you got a lot going on, huh?

Yes, he does.

- I make sure of it.
- Gotta diversify, man.

I mean, how else are we gonna
take care of our kids

when our main hustle goes away?

That... yeah, that's right.
Gotta diversify,

and diversity,

- I do a ton of both.
- Oh, yeah?

What you got cookin'?

I'm sure it's a lot,
'cause you're basically

the mayor of Atlanta.

Actually, she asked me
to stop calling myself that.

- Okay.
- But, you know,

it's a ton of stuff.

I can't even remember
everything right now.

- Oh, wow.
- I wish Gary was here,

'cause he's my manager, you know.

But he's not, so bummer.

Oh, come here.

- Hey, yo.
- Sateen.

- Gare bear.
- My favorite singer and fabric.

- Come on.
- Great to see you, Gare.

- You too, man.
- We was just talking about you

and all the great things
you've been getting Kenan.

- Yeah, that's right.
- Oh, yeah.

I got something you gonna love.

Okay.

What is it? Is it that HBO deal?

What, no. That Panera deal, baby,

their You-Pick-Two deal.

Oh, and I got some pecan
braids for the girls' snacks,

'cause they just eat
and grow, eat and grow.

- It's crazy.
- Wow.

No, I was... no, I was talking to him

about the endorsement deals.

Oh, we don't have none of those.

I'm surprised, Kenan.

I feel like you could be doing more.

We are doing a lot, you know.

The show just got nominated
for another Grammy...

- Oh.
- The Atlanta Association

of Grandma's Award,

you know, and it's not easy to keep up

- that level of integrity.
- Oh, that reminds me, man.

wardrobe asked me to give you this

for your Brokini segment next week.

That's not a real segment, is it?

It better be! I approved it!

Okay, now you gotta make sure
it fits, though,

man, 'cause if you sit down wrong,

it'll twist your right up in your.

Gary, would you just shut up?

I mean, everything is cool.

- Now row, row...
- Butter roll.

- Yeah, eh, eh.
- Okay.

- Hey, Mika.
- Mm-hmm?

Okay, so, like,
I know I'm not Sateen, right?

Correct. He is a ten... million.

Got it, but no, I'm saying

ever since Flipp'd,
Sateen has been killin' it.

And I obviously love the show,
but do you think

I could be doing more?

More... music?

Because that chapter feels like
it reached

the natural stopping point.

No, I'm talking about
diversifying, you know, like,

Sateen's manager, Various,

is getting him all these, like,
other income streams,

and not to harp on Gary...
but you think I'd be doing better

if he wasn't my manager?

There are better managers.

I mean, during your last
contract negotiation

he played softball.

Yeah, I know he's not a shark.

No, I mean literally.

He skipped the negotiation to play

in the industry softball tournament.

What? He didn't go to bat for me at all?

Well, technically he went
to bat for all of us.

But yeah, as far as your contract, no.

- Mm.
- You should talk to him.

I mean, he'll get it.
It's just business.

Daddy, look, we learned
the lyric to your song.

- What?
- And five, six, seven eight.

? Gonna put your brain on ice ?

? You don't need to learn
when your body's that nice ?

? That butt ?

? Girl your thinking days are through ?

? I'm a take care of you ?

No, no, timeout right there.

- Yeah. Wow.
- Mm-mm.

Hearing the girls doing the old lyrics,

- they sound kind of sexist.
- Correct, very sexist. It did.

Ooh, that was amazing, girls,

the moves, and Rick with the hips.

No, no, Gary, that was not amazing.

It was sexist is what it was.

Whoa, okay, my bad.

You see, there's this new thing

that didn't exist when Daddy
was making music.

It's called feminism.

Uh, it did exist 100%, indeed.

Uh, well, I mean...

didn't nobody really care about it.

You know what I mean.
Like, I don't think they did.

I think when Katy Perry pout out "Roar,"

that's when everybody sat up...

Okay, Kenan, why don't you go
have your little chitchat

- about diversifying?
- Okay.

And I will take over
the feminism lesson.

Girls, you wanna see
some real girl power in action?

- Follow me today.
- Daddy, can we go?

Please, please, please, please.

Go on ahead. Sounds like a great idea.

- Come on, my little She-E-Os.
- Yay!

Ha-ha, yeah, I was head over
my skis on that one.

- Yep.
- Yo-yo, Kenan,

- can you sign this contract...
- Oh, is this an endorsement?

So I can finally lease a car?

Man, you know my credit score,
like, 420.

Gary, we need to have
a business meeting later.

Business?

No one's gonna mention
his credit score's 420?

So Kenan wants a business meeting, huh?

Well, luckily,
you came to the right man.

Did I?

Because I asked for your help,
you said yes,

and then you spent 45 minutes
giving that steak

a tantric massage.

You ever heard of the power lunch?

Business meeting lesson number one:

eat for the job you want.

It impresses the hell out of people

when you spend a ton of dough
on something

that's literally not gonna be
with you very long.

Ah, that's got to rest.

For what?

Lesson two: dress for the job
that you want,

not the job that you have.

And that gold chain screams,

"I sell phone cases in mall kiosk."

- Man.
- Not ready.

Damn it, you wasting my time.

You're right.

Such a fool. I'm no expert.

Look, I have nothing to offer.

I just a spray tan and a smile.

- I'm sorry.
- No, come on, man.

That's not true.

Of course it's not true. I'm a winner.

- What the...
- That was a lie.

And that's lesson three.

Get Kenan to feel sorry for you
right off the bat.

And then he'll have no choice

but to give you a second chance.

Then it's up to you to show him
what you have

that no other manager has.

Which is?

Only you can answer that, Gary.

Huh.

- Gross.
- Ahh.

But wow.

Right this way, sir.

There he is.

Ahh, Kene.

- Hey, bud.
- Hey-hey, what's up, man?

- Put it right there, babe.
- Oh, snap.

- Uh-uh.
- Here you go.

- Thank you, man.
- Have a seat.

Boy, you look good.

Feel good, babe. Dig in.

It's on me.

You sure you can afford this place?

Can't take it with you, right?

I've been thinking a lot about that

since I found out I had cancer,
but anyway,

what you want to talk about, bud?

What? Oh, my God.

You have cancer?

- Just like Memaw.
- Gary, my brother.

- Oh, oh, oh, oh, come on, man.
- Oh, man.

- Forgot all about that.
- No, no, no.

- It's not Memaw bad.
- Is that what the doctor said?

- Uh...
- Tell me everything.

All right, look, he said,
it's the good cancer, you know.

It might even just be
my astrological sign.

You know what I'm saying?

Did you ask Rick for business advice?

Damn, how'd you know?

Yeah, you ever wonder
why that crew strike ended

the same day everybody started
thinking I had Lyme disease?

Look, I'm sorry.

I just got scared, okay?

I know you're upset with me, right?

I'm not upset, man.

I'm just disappointed... in my career.

I gotta diversify, man.

I mean, who knows how long
the show is gonna last?

And I'm worried about the girls.

I mean, by the time they go to college,

it's gonna cost me, like,
800 million grand.

I did read that.

Look, I just didn't think
you wanted work

- outside of the show, because...
- Of course I do, man.

- Come on.
- All right, okay.

Done! I hear you loud and clear, man.

- All right, cool.
- Now, please, let's leave.

This is my second rib eye today,

and I have been steak farting
for an hour straight.

They just walkin' through the clouds.

- That ain't right. Let's get on out of here.
- Yep.

So you see, girls, I am the final word

on what makes it in the show.

Just me. And the fact that I'm a woman

doesn't bother Bruce at all,
does it, Bruce?

Nope, that's not what bothers me.

Yeah, now let's talk
J-cuts and jump cuts, which...

Oh, my God. You are
super bored, aren't you?

- No.
- Yes.

I mean, yes.

- Uh, Mika.
- Yeah?

You have me doing the book club segment.

- Yes.
- Yeah, you know the only thing

I have time to read
is Busy Philipps' captions

and my husband's private emails.

- Hi, girls.
- Oh, I am so sorry.

You know what? I'll put Daphne on that.

Yeah, that's what's great

about being young and vivacious.

She says yes to everything.

Plus, the audience loves her.

You know, on second thought, I'll do it.

Sorry. You are the best.

- Ohh.
- Bye.

Wow.

You tricked her into doing
exactly what you wanted.

- That was awesome.
- It was?

I mean, that's kind of
the main thing a boss does.

Teach us that.

The other stuff is boring,
but playing people is cool.

Yeah, I want to play Dad
so he'll give me

a Pandora account
without any commercials.

Well, ladies, you are in luck,

because your dad is
the number one person I play.

Okay. Wow, I am impressed, Gary, man.

One business meeting, and boom,

you come through
with a big dog food commercial.

Come on, man.

You know I got you, man, and look,

I know 10K's not life-changing, but hey,

it's a start, right?

Yes, it is, man.

I mean, look at us.

We're on the biggest movie lot
in Atlanta

not owned by Tyler Perry, but hey,

- we getting there.
- We are getting there.

We gonna get there.

Okay.

Now, see, Zaddy can get used to this.

Sorry, this trailer is for
the star of the commercial.

Thanks.

Well, I mean, if I'm not
the star of the commercial,

then who is?

Kenan!

So happy you booked us.

You're gonna love working with Harlan.

He is blowing up.
Just got cast as the new host

of "Who Want To Be a Doggy-onaire?"

This is Harlan's trailer?

Do you win a million dogs?

Yes, and not all at once.

Got sweet deal for this pooch.

Couldn't believe their initial offer

was a measly 10K, right, Gare?

- Yeah.
- Oh, Gare,

don't tell me you took it.

All due, Kenan,

as soon as you want
to get serious, call me.

I'll take you national.

Here, take a card.

I gotta get Harlan to fur and makeup.

All right.

Come on... Come on.

Gary, please don't tell me
that you took the first offer

- they gave you.
- Oh...

Hey, you Cleveland?

It's pronounced Kenan.

We reinforced the shorts
for the groin-mauling sequence.

Okay, they... they must have
just added that.

I specifically said no more crotch work.

Like, I should have known, man.

You have never looked out for my career

ever since you quit Flipp'd,

because were complaining
that you were getting

tennis thumb from signing
too many autographs.

Whoa, okay, Kenan, let's not
go there with Flipp'd, a'ight?

No, no, man, you costing me work,

and you costing me money
buy living off of me.

But you know what?
I'm not dealing with this

- no more, Gary. You're fired.
- What?

You serious?

Fine.

Then could look finding a manager

that's gonna make you the next Sateen,

'cause guess what.

You're not Sateen.

As a matter of fact,
you're not even a great Kenan.

I'd pick Ivory Wayans
over you any day of the week.

Where the hell am I?

I'm so lost.

Okay, Various, these demand are insane.

Approval of all guests?

Especially animals.

Kenan still has bites from that

"Real Horseflies of Atlanta" segment.

An assigned bathroom stall?

Right of way in the hallway?

A bowl of peeled but not cut kiwis?

Sir, you must think
I am some little girl

that you can push around,

Well, I am not the one, Various.

I am not the one.

- Period.
- Okay, yes, Ms. Mika!

Yay, you tell him, queen!

- Do they need to be here?
- They're shadowing me

learning what it means
to be a strong woman.

Oh, happy to be a part of it.

Good. Look, I'll concede the 401K,

the salary bump, and the hallway thing.

It's good to be a little flexible.

But four months paid vacation
is Crazy Town.

That's what Ellen gets.

Well, it's twice as hard for a woman

to get where she's gotten,
so I'll give Kenan half

of what she gets: two months.

I am generous,
but I am not Ellen De-generous.

- Purr it.
- Ooh-ooh.

That was a good one.

You realize she's negotiating
against your father, right?

- What?
- Look, Mika,

just take it to the network, okay?

And if you can't get it done, no biggie.

Kenan will just walk.

- Oh, that ol' bluff?
- It's not a bluff. I'm not Gary.

Give us what we want,
or the show will be

"Wake Up Without Kenan."

Wait, Dad might quit his job?

What? No.

Don't worry.

This is all part of my plan.

Who wants candy?

Well, Various officially
added Kenan to his website.

Man, that photo doesn't even
show how funny he is.

His face isn't even wet.

Gary, did you do what I told you to do?

Did you show Kenan what you have

that no other manager has?

Like what, zero other clients?

I'm not even a manager.
I'm just a little brother.

Precisely.

What the hell
are you talking about, Rick?

- Gentlemen.
- Kenan.

Brother.

Gentlemen.

Kenan.

Brother.

Oh, Gary, come on, man.

It's just business.

We still brothers.

You at least gonna do
the Flipp'd reunion?

For the fans.

Unfortunately, I can't make it,

because I have to focus
on my job search,

but oh, maybe you'll get
Various to take my place.

- Ha-ha.
- Come on. Various can't dance.

Well, get that dog to do it.

Hmm.

Let's take it again from the chorus.

? Three heads are better than ?

? One or two ?

? Eight minus nine, seven minus four ?

? Six minus three ?

? That's right ?

? Five minus two ?

? Just like a sundae with a cherry ?

? It's Sateen and Kenan ?

- Where's Gary?
- ? And Gary ?

Uh, are you sure there's
no other songs we could do?

What about, uh, "Ring That Booty Bell"

or "Last Names Are for the Morning"?

This one just seems overly dependent

on having all three of us.

No. No, no, no.

I've been telling you, man,
our catalog is very offensive.

I can't believe we had
an Anita Hill diss track.

Bravo.

Wow. Gonna make for one hell of
a farewell show for you, Kenan.

- Hmm?
- It sure will.

Wait. What?

Oh, well, the network balked
at your demands,

- Demands?
- And since your manager here

made it clear that if we didn't
get it done you'd walk...

I hate that your girls have to see this,

but they need to learn
that women can be monsters too.

Good luck out there, Kenan.

Ohh! What...

Okay, I... I don't understand.

- We'll miss you.
- But...

I'm not sure whose side I'm on.

I'm unhappy no matter what happens.

Is this what it's like to be an adult?

K-man, don't worry.

You are so much better
than this crap show.

I just watched it for
the first time today. It's garbage.

This is a blessing.

Yeah, it's like when Flipp'd broke up.

We were devastated,
but if Gary didn't take your side

against the record company,

you and I never would
have become what we did, right?

Hold up.

What do you mean Gary took my side?

Gary quit Flipp'd because
he didn't wanna work hard.

No, he quit because the label
wanted to kick you out.

Yeah, they were gonna rebrand me and him

as the answer to Kris Kross.

But Gary blew it up, because
he wanted to protect you.

You didn't know this?

Your manager should have told you.

- Oh.
- Okay, who quit? Who cares?

First things first.

We have got a solid
wrongful termination case

against this Mika chick.

Now, what do you think about New York?

'Cause I hope the answer is,

"I would move there immediately,"

'cause that's the plan.

Of course your boys
will have to stay here,

- but I have a client with a...
- Hey, Various,

I gotta go, all right?

And I have girls.

And my show's not garbage.

These Rockports
were an excellent choice, sir.

Best chukka on the market, all right?

- You have a great day.
- Thank you.

Walkin' here, right?

You got any man sandals socks?

All my seasonal footwear
is on the end cap

by the terrain simulator.

Oh, it's you.

You don't deserve sandal socks.

Look, I gotta be honest.

It's been really weird
with you not being around,

especially with us trying
to rehearse "Three Heads."

Man, I really only got
five minutes for real...

- I know. I know. I know.
- So if you could get to it.

Can I ask you something?

Did you really break up Flipp'd

because they was trying to kick me out?

- Uh...
- Sateen told me.

Nah. I mean, who knows?

It was a long time ago.

- Look, man, I gotta get back.
- No, wait, wait.

Why are you working here?

Because I don't want to be a mooch

living off my brother.

You're not a mooch. You're a manager.

There's a very, very, very,
very, very subtle difference.

What about Various?

Oh, man, that guy is the worst.

God, I don't know what I was thinking.

- I got jealous of Sateen.
- Is that insane?

A bit.

You know, being a single parent, man,

it gets me freaked out

about the girls' future sometimes.

Well, honestly, the reason I
wasn't getting you extra work

was because of the girls, man.

I thought you wanted to spend
all your extra time

outside of the show with them.

But if you want extra work,
I can hustle for sure.

No, no.

No, you're right.

Time with me is more valuable

than any amount of money
they'll ever need.

And only a brother would know that.

You care enough about me
not care about my career.

That's something that you have

that no other manager will ever have.

I'll be damned.

Rick is a low-key genius, dog.

I know, but don't tell him.

Compliments make him insufferable.

I could see that.

He's insufferable now.

But I am sorry I blamed
all my stuff on you.

I'm happy with the way
things are if you are.

Yeah, man, come on, bro.

Well, actually, I'm fine
with the way things were.

I need you to get me back on the show.

- Back on the show?
- What you mean? How is this...

- I'll tell you about it on the way.
- All right.

What's the sense in having
one head, baby,

when you could have three?

Aww... yeah

? When it's me and you and you ?

? Three heads are better than ?

? One on two ?

Does this mean that Dad's back for good?

And Uncle Gary is his manager again?

Yep.

See, I knew how much the show
meant to your dad,

so I knew I played hardball,
he's sour on Various,

go back to Gary, and then I'd close him

for what I wanted all along.

So you outsmarted all of these men

to get exactly what you wanted.

And that is why you never need a man

to "take care of you."

- Boom, pow, boom, pow.
- Hmm.

? Eight heads don't make no sense ?

? There's only seven days in the week ?

Or you damn near lost
the star of your show

for almost no reason
and then played it off

like you masterminded the whole thing.

It kind of feel like
you got lucky to me.

And what man hasn't.

There is that.

? Just like a sundae with a cherry ?

? It's Sateen ?
? And Kenan ?

? And Gary ?

- Yes! Go, Dad!
- Sateen!

- Get off, man.
- We did it.

- Get off.
- Ow! Ow! Ow! Gary.

Get off me.

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- www.addic7ed.com -