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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:06,970 --> 00:01:07,620 Hey Honey. 2 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:08,820 Hi Mum. 3 00:01:09,610 --> 00:01:12,220 Just wanted to let you know I am on my way home. 4 00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:14,720 I'm in the taxi now so shouldn't be much longer. 5 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:17,320 Have you left the spare key for me? 6 00:01:17,420 --> 00:01:20,370 Yes. Under the far right flower pot. 7 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:23,220 Ok thank you. How are you and Dad doing? 8 00:01:23,320 --> 00:01:25,720 Have you sorted flights back yet? 9 00:01:25,820 --> 00:01:28,120 Not yet. The Hotel is closing tomorrow so we're going 10 00:01:28,220 --> 00:01:33,670 to the embassy today to see what they can do about it. 11 00:01:33,770 --> 00:01:37,320 The airlines have been bloody useless. 12 00:01:37,820 --> 00:01:40,720 But I'll text you. Should only be a matter of time. 13 00:01:40,820 --> 00:01:41,420 Ok. 14 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:43,120 Are you all sorted though? 15 00:01:43,820 --> 00:01:47,020 Yeah Absolutely. 16 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:49,696 University have set some online lectures 17 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:52,470 and I've got some dissertation stuff to get on with so 18 00:01:53,020 --> 00:01:56,420 I'll just be studying from home this week. 19 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:59,620 But they don't know how long this will go on for. 20 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:03,520 They've said three weeks but could be longer. 21 00:02:03,620 --> 00:02:06,120 It'll all blow over eventually. Just keep yourself inside until 22 00:02:06,220 --> 00:02:10,200 we get back. Save yourself collecting a fine or anything. 23 00:02:11,820 --> 00:02:14,470 Yeah. Yeah will do. 24 00:02:15,020 --> 00:02:16,920 Are you and Dad alright though? 25 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:19,020 I mean you haven't got any symptoms or anything? 26 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:21,620 No no. We've just been tested and we're fine. 27 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:27,120 It's why the consulate are in a rush to get people like us home. 28 00:02:27,220 --> 00:02:29,320 Well, at least those safe enough to travel. 29 00:02:29,420 --> 00:02:30,620 Right. No, that makes sense. 30 00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:34,320 I just feel bad for the airline staff. 31 00:02:34,420 --> 00:02:36,420 I mean, what a time to be in that industry. 32 00:02:36,670 --> 00:02:39,220 It could be worse. I've been put under this furlough scheme. 33 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:42,520 Lucky me, but anyway. 34 00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:44,720 If you need anything just let us know. Ok? 35 00:02:44,820 --> 00:02:49,420 No that's fine. Um right. I'll talk to you later then. 36 00:02:49,820 --> 00:02:53,920 Alright Honey. Stay safe. I love you. Take care. 37 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:57,420 Yeah alright. Love you. Bye. 38 00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:58,220 Bye. Bye. 39 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,020 Cheers. 40 00:04:32,020 --> 00:04:35,320 No signal. Yep. Haven't missed that. 41 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,820 Hello room. 42 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:51,720 Many people living in isolated areas will have to request 43 00:05:51,820 --> 00:05:55,320 a visit from social workers who will provide remote testing 44 00:05:55,420 --> 00:06:00,220 for those in the at risk category and are unable to visit a testing centre. 45 00:06:01,020 --> 00:06:04,720 However, the home office warns that these won't be available for some time. 46 00:06:05,020 --> 00:06:08,020 With the toll of the disease rapidly increasing to the level of 47 00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:12,820 the influenza virus, the World Health Organisation is demanding world leaders 48 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:18,320 to take the threat more seriously and say more decisive action is needed. 49 00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:21,520 Latest figures show that over three thousand new cases are being 50 00:06:21,620 --> 00:06:25,620 reported daily with more than 700 deaths worldwide. 51 00:06:59,220 --> 00:07:02,820 ... and C major and G major. 52 00:08:24,020 --> 00:08:26,520 ...to illustrate the narrator's insanity. 53 00:08:49,020 --> 00:08:53,020 Good morning. I'm here from the local authorities about the current situation. 54 00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:56,820 I've got a Mr and Mrs Brookes registered here. 55 00:08:57,420 --> 00:09:00,820 Um. No sorry. They're abroad at the moment. 56 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:01,770 I'm their son. 57 00:09:02,020 --> 00:09:04,270 Oh I see travel issues. 58 00:09:06,020 --> 00:09:07,420 Yeah. Something like that. 59 00:09:09,620 --> 00:09:11,420 Well because they're in the most at risk group it's my job to come 60 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:14,820 to check on certain residents in isolated areas. 61 00:09:14,970 --> 00:09:15,520 Okay. 62 00:09:15,620 --> 00:09:17,520 So we're just making inquiries. 63 00:09:17,620 --> 00:09:18,520 Yeah yeah. 64 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:20,720 Are you living here on your own? 65 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:22,820 Yeah yeah just me at the moment. 66 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:26,420 Ok well can I come inside? I've got a few bits here to help you with self isolating. 67 00:09:27,820 --> 00:09:30,120 Sure of course. Come on in. 68 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:36,420 Can I get you a cup of tea or something? 69 00:09:41,020 --> 00:09:44,020 I don't think that's the best thing to do given the current situation. 70 00:09:45,220 --> 00:09:46,520 But don't worry won't be long. 71 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:47,820 Yeah yeah. 72 00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:50,770 So how long have you been self isolating for? 73 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:53,720 About two weeks. 74 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,020 Ok and it's just you living here? 75 00:09:57,920 --> 00:09:59,220 Just me. 76 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,120 Are you fully stocked for food? 77 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:09,820 Yeah. Yeah yeah. Should be- 78 00:10:11,620 --> 00:10:12,770 Sorry. 79 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:19,420 I've got a few delivery slots. Do you have any idea how long this will go for? 80 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,020 Your guess is as good as ours. 81 00:10:24,020 --> 00:10:25,820 Look, are you suffering from any symptoms? 82 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:28,220 No no I don't think so. 83 00:10:29,020 --> 00:10:31,646 Okay. Well I've got a test kit here actually so if you like we 84 00:10:31,670 --> 00:10:34,620 can do a sample and just text you when the results are in. 85 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:36,120 Sure yeah. 86 00:10:37,620 --> 00:10:41,770 I didn't notice a car in your driveway, so I take it you don't drive? 87 00:10:41,970 --> 00:10:42,620 No. 88 00:10:44,420 --> 00:10:47,720 Alright. Well if there is an emergency, foodwise or healthwise or anything 89 00:10:47,820 --> 00:10:51,220 you can consult that leaflet for government support. 90 00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:53,520 Oh great. 91 00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:56,820 And I better take that swab. 92 00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:57,420 Yes. 93 00:11:19,020 --> 00:11:21,520 So we'll call round again when your parents are home. 94 00:11:21,620 --> 00:11:24,670 If you can pass the information on to them. 95 00:11:25,220 --> 00:11:28,720 And if you've got any concerns you can check the pamphlet 96 00:11:28,820 --> 00:11:30,220 and there's a help number on there. 97 00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:32,196 Brilliant. Okay. 98 00:11:32,220 --> 00:11:33,220 Yeah? Alright okay. Bye. 99 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:34,720 Bye. Thanks. See you later. 100 00:13:37,020 --> 00:13:40,020 RINGTONE - Beethoven's 5th Symphony. 101 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:46,520 Hello. 102 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,020 Hey. That was quick. 103 00:13:50,020 --> 00:13:52,120 Yeah. Yeah I wasn't doing much. 104 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:55,920 How have you been? 105 00:13:56,820 --> 00:13:59,120 How is lockdown treating you? 106 00:14:02,020 --> 00:14:03,320 Yeah not bad. Um. 107 00:14:06,420 --> 00:14:12,270 Parents still aren't home. Flight got cancelled so, held up 108 00:14:12,370 --> 00:14:15,370 at the consulate with a bunch of other people trying to get home. 109 00:14:16,020 --> 00:14:17,120 I'm sorry. 110 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:21,520 It could be worse. I mean. 111 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:26,870 They'll get home eventually. Apparently, the number of cases are lower down there. 112 00:14:27,820 --> 00:14:30,220 Oh that's good. Bit of hope there. 113 00:14:32,020 --> 00:14:33,520 Yeah. Bit of hope. 114 00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:37,120 And how are you doing? 115 00:14:40,020 --> 00:14:41,220 Fine. 116 00:14:42,020 --> 00:14:46,120 Yeah fine. Um. Keeping busy. 117 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:48,520 Got plenty of work to do so uh... 118 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:52,920 What about you? 119 00:14:54,770 --> 00:14:56,720 Um just back in Maida Vale again. 120 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:02,020 Oh. My sister, you know I said she was studying sports medicine. 121 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:03,020 Yeah. 122 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:10,920 She's been pulled into the NHS so none of us are allowed out really. High risk. You know. 123 00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:17,020 Bless her though. I mean, the real heroes. 124 00:15:19,020 --> 00:15:21,620 Yeah. She's the best. 125 00:15:32,020 --> 00:15:33,220 I miss you. 126 00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:35,420 I know. 127 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:40,120 I wasn't planning on calling but, given the time right now. 128 00:15:44,020 --> 00:15:46,020 Shame we couldn't have figured this out before lockdown. 129 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,820 Yeah. Yeah. 130 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:54,620 No. It's fine though. I just want to make this work. 131 00:15:56,820 --> 00:15:59,120 I mean when this is all over. Once we're back in uni 132 00:15:59,220 --> 00:16:03,220 we can continue what we were doing and focus on us. 133 00:16:05,820 --> 00:16:09,320 Yeah. Yeah that'd be great. 134 00:16:10,020 --> 00:16:12,320 You don't sound so thrilled. What's up? 135 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:16,720 Nothing. 136 00:16:17,220 --> 00:16:19,020 Nothing. I just um- 137 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:23,020 I don't wanna talk about it. 138 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:25,220 You worried that much? 139 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:26,020 I didn't say that. 140 00:16:26,220 --> 00:16:29,320 Say something at least? You know we shouldn't stop having these- 141 00:16:29,420 --> 00:16:32,020 CALL DROPS 142 00:16:38,220 --> 00:16:40,520 I don't know what she expects me to say to her. 143 00:16:43,020 --> 00:16:45,520 I don't think she even understands that I'm upset. 144 00:16:50,020 --> 00:16:52,520 You just-you don't care. You don't care what happened. 145 00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:53,670 You don't care about how it affected me. 146 00:16:54,020 --> 00:16:56,670 I do. You never wanted to talk about it. 147 00:16:56,770 --> 00:16:58,320 Can you blame me? 148 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:04,020 Why him? 149 00:17:05,220 --> 00:17:07,520 Of all the people why him? He's such a- 150 00:17:07,620 --> 00:17:09,720 Fucking dickhead. I hate that guy. 151 00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:12,296 I know. It was just one time. 152 00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:12,397 I know. It was just one time. I don't want to dwell on the past. It's done now. 153 00:17:12,421 --> 00:17:15,220 I don't want to dwell on the past. It's done now. 154 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:18,820 I just want to think of us. 155 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:20,520 You shouldn't have fucking slept with him then. 156 00:17:27,020 --> 00:17:28,020 That's not fair. 157 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:31,720 That's not fair. 158 00:17:59,020 --> 00:18:03,196 Soup soup soup soup. 159 00:18:03,220 --> 00:18:06,020 Soup soup soup soup. 160 00:18:09,220 --> 00:18:13,820 Soup soup soup soup soup soup... 161 00:18:14,820 --> 00:18:19,020 Soup! Hm. 162 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,796 The Government in association with the World Health Organisation 163 00:19:52,820 --> 00:19:56,146 has advised European nations to close borders immediately. In an attempt 164 00:19:56,170 --> 00:20:00,796 to limit international travel. The Prime Minister in his most recent conference 165 00:20:00,820 --> 00:20:06,220 has enforced a longer quarantine period for the UK. Closing all of its borders for 166 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:10,120 the remainder of this month. The Chief of Staff at No.10 has outlined weekly 167 00:20:10,220 --> 00:20:13,020 assessments to determine the end of these protocols but has warned that 168 00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:17,220 the protocols in question will not ease for some time. We have been hearing 169 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:20,820 reports of thousands of UK citizens who are currently stuck abroad 170 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,620 with no knowledge of when they'll be able to return home. 171 00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:28,400 Over two thousand flights have already been cancelled. With a further 172 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:31,020 five thousand more flights expected, following the collapse of 173 00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:33,320 travel company Thomas Cook. 174 00:20:34,020 --> 00:20:36,320 The current advice for anyone stuck abroad is to visit their 175 00:20:36,420 --> 00:20:40,520 nation's local embassy and request emergency accommodation. 176 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:41,820 Perfect. 177 00:30:00,020 --> 00:30:03,520 TV SOUNDS 178 00:31:36,820 --> 00:31:38,520 TV SOUNDS 179 00:35:05,020 --> 00:35:09,020 RINGTONE Beethoven's 5th Symphony. 180 00:35:39,820 --> 00:35:40,896 Hello? 181 00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:43,220 Hey. Just wanted to check up on you. 182 00:35:44,620 --> 00:35:46,020 You sound a bit grim. 183 00:35:48,020 --> 00:35:52,020 Uh yeah. Yeah yeah. I think I caught it. 184 00:35:53,020 --> 00:35:55,020 You holding up alright? 185 00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:57,020 Uh. No. 186 00:35:57,720 --> 00:36:03,220 Well, my brother had it too. He's on the mend now too. So yeah. 187 00:36:04,020 --> 00:36:08,020 Just means me and my family can't leave for a few more weeks. 188 00:36:09,020 --> 00:36:12,320 Well whatever it is, it is rough. 189 00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:13,200 Yeah. 190 00:36:14,020 --> 00:36:15,780 Haven't felt this bad for a while. 191 00:36:16,820 --> 00:36:17,820 Yeah. 192 00:36:18,820 --> 00:36:23,020 The treatment they sent us has done wonders for Will. He's past the worst of it now. 193 00:36:25,720 --> 00:36:26,820 Yeah. 194 00:36:31,170 --> 00:36:33,820 Well beer doesn't go with it. I can tell you that much. 195 00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:35,920 Oh please take care of yourself. 196 00:36:36,020 --> 00:36:37,820 Yeah yeah. I will. I will. 197 00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:42,620 I won't be making that mistake for a while. 198 00:36:44,820 --> 00:36:46,520 And what about your parents? 199 00:36:49,820 --> 00:36:57,720 Parents? Oh, they're still out there. No idea when they'll be back. 200 00:36:59,020 --> 00:37:02,020 Feels like it's getting worse and worse. 201 00:37:04,020 --> 00:37:05,996 Hey. Where's your optimism gone? 202 00:37:06,020 --> 00:37:09,320 Well things usually have to get worse before they get better. 203 00:37:09,420 --> 00:37:15,820 There it is. 204 00:37:19,020 --> 00:37:23,196 We'll get there. But back to you. Stay warm. Keep drinking water 205 00:37:23,220 --> 00:37:26,020 and take those tablets and you'll be fine. 206 00:37:28,420 --> 00:37:29,720 CALL DROPS 207 00:37:33,970 --> 00:37:35,020 Fuck sake. 208 00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:44,120 We'll make it don't worry. 209 00:37:45,020 --> 00:37:49,520 That's easy for you to say. You're stuck at home with you family. 210 00:37:49,820 --> 00:37:51,520 You've still got me right here. 211 00:37:51,620 --> 00:37:53,020 Oh lucky me. 212 00:37:53,820 --> 00:37:55,020 Shut up. 213 00:37:55,620 --> 00:37:57,020 It'll be over soon. 214 00:38:00,020 --> 00:38:03,820 I'm sorry I slept with him. 215 00:38:09,020 --> 00:38:10,320 No I'm sorry. 216 00:38:12,820 --> 00:38:18,220 I'm sorry I got mad about it. We weren't even together at the time. 217 00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:24,820 I feel bad about it. Just wish I properly tell you. I know it bothers you. 218 00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:29,020 It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter now. 219 00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:40,220 This fucking sucks. 220 00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:41,120 What does? 221 00:38:41,220 --> 00:38:48,020 This. I'm alone. I'm ill and I'm fucking bored. 222 00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:01,420 I just wish you were here. 223 00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:04,020 I know. 224 00:39:11,720 --> 00:39:13,720 I wish I was too. 225 00:44:39,020 --> 00:44:42,020 PHONE RINGTONE 226 00:44:53,020 --> 00:44:55,020 Hello? 227 00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:55,870 Hey you. 228 00:44:55,970 --> 00:44:57,820 How are things in the land of the living? 229 00:45:00,020 --> 00:45:02,020 Uh. Not a lot of living going on. 230 00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:06,020 I can tell you it's not much better here. We've now been moved again 231 00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:09,820 we've been put up in a hostel now with everyone else trying to get home. 232 00:45:10,020 --> 00:45:12,020 Have they given you bunk beds? 233 00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:13,220 Ah yes. 234 00:45:14,220 --> 00:45:16,720 Have you got the top bunk? 235 00:45:16,820 --> 00:45:20,020 Obviously. Didn't think your father would get it over me. 236 00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:26,020 Oh no but seriously, how are you two? 237 00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:28,870 Can't be right shoving you all in together like that. 238 00:45:28,970 --> 00:45:32,520 They haven't even done any tests on anyone so who knows. 239 00:45:32,620 --> 00:45:36,820 Your father is paranoid about his diabetes. He's running out of his tablets. 240 00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:42,320 Can't the embassy provide? 241 00:45:42,720 --> 00:45:45,870 Different health care system here. Tried to ring the insurance companies 242 00:45:45,970 --> 00:45:51,220 to arrange something different but it's all very frustrating. 243 00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:56,520 Anyway, what about things your end? Taking care of the house? 244 00:45:57,020 --> 00:46:00,020 Yeah. Yeah. 245 00:46:01,420 --> 00:46:04,220 Actually, I'm-I'm ill. 246 00:46:05,820 --> 00:46:14,020 So, the government has sent me this, this care package with some medicine and stuff. 247 00:46:16,720 --> 00:46:18,520 But I've had to throw out some of the china I've used. 248 00:46:18,820 --> 00:46:23,420 What? Why would you need to throw away the china? 249 00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:29,220 Well, it's what the kit says. Get rid of anything I've infected basically. 250 00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:32,020 Didn't you try to steam them first? 251 00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:34,720 No. 252 00:46:34,820 --> 00:46:38,870 Oh God don't be so stupid. You can't... can't you just disinfect them? 253 00:46:39,020 --> 00:46:42,720 Well hang on. It's got my germs and stuff on them haven't they. 254 00:46:42,820 --> 00:46:45,920 Oh come on. No. 255 00:46:46,020 --> 00:46:50,820 All you need to do is run them through with very hot soapy water what the hell are you- 256 00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:52,920 HANGS UP 257 00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:01,720 Fucking typical. 258 00:47:02,020 --> 00:47:05,720 No concern for me whatsoever. 259 00:47:05,820 --> 00:47:07,220 Well consider what it's like for your father and me. 260 00:47:07,320 --> 00:47:09,420 Stuck in a foreign country trying to get home. 261 00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:11,720 It's New Zealand. It's barely foreign. 262 00:47:11,820 --> 00:47:14,520 Yes, because being shoved around from place to place is a blast. 263 00:47:14,620 --> 00:47:16,520 It's still New Zealand. Like it's better than here. 264 00:47:16,620 --> 00:47:18,520 Don't act like you don't want us there. 265 00:47:18,620 --> 00:47:22,720 Of course I want you here! I'm ill. I'm fucking ill. 266 00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:29,020 I'm miserable. And I'm sick of this pointless fucking lockdown. 267 00:47:30,520 --> 00:47:34,020 It's no safer here than anywhere else. It's the same fucking virus wherever you go. 268 00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:41,996 Drinking Whiskey comforts me. 269 00:48:42,020 --> 00:48:46,020 Helps to ease the pain of Quarantine! 270 00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:53,520 Quarantine. Quarantine. Quarantine. 271 00:48:56,620 --> 00:49:00,420 There will be an answer. Quarantine. 272 00:49:33,020 --> 00:49:37,520 Quarantine. There will be an answer. Quarantine. 273 00:49:50,020 --> 00:49:55,020 TV SHOW JINGLE 274 00:50:06,420 --> 00:50:11,020 Welcome back. Today we're in Oxfordshire. Taking a look at this late 19th century 275 00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:17,620 chestnut finish grandfather clock. Brought in for appraisal today by the Warren family. 276 00:50:25,520 --> 00:50:32,020 You can see the fantastic detail in the face which tells us a lot about when this item was crafted. 277 00:50:33,820 --> 00:50:35,120 Clock perv. 278 00:50:39,620 --> 00:50:42,920 So? What if I do have a thing for old shit? 279 00:50:45,020 --> 00:50:51,220 I couldn't care less how you get your rocks off mate. But feeling up all clocks. Bit weird. 280 00:50:51,520 --> 00:50:55,920 At least I'm on television right now. What are you doing? 281 00:50:56,220 --> 00:50:58,420 Watching your shit TV show. 282 00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:00,220 Go watch some shit on Netflix or something. 283 00:51:00,320 --> 00:51:02,920 I would, but this crap is all I got. 284 00:51:04,020 --> 00:51:07,520 What a bloody shame. No streaming services. 285 00:51:11,020 --> 00:51:16,320 You should do a Netflix special. Oh wait no. You're stuck feeling up clocks. 286 00:51:18,120 --> 00:51:21,920 If it's so shit, why are you still watching? 287 00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:28,520 Do you know what when this thing is over you should try doing this job. 288 00:51:28,620 --> 00:51:36,520 Ah no wait. You don't have the depth, precision, the dedication to produce and host a programme of this quality. 289 00:51:37,120 --> 00:51:41,920 Ah yes. A programme built for the intellectuals among us. 290 00:51:42,020 --> 00:51:45,020 Very prestigious. 291 00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:47,320 So you're above everyone? 292 00:51:53,120 --> 00:52:00,020 I bet. You're having a wonderful time in all this. Mr Presenter. 293 00:52:05,120 --> 00:52:11,920 I could claim to. You could also claim to. You have this big house. 294 00:52:12,120 --> 00:52:20,920 All this space. All to yourself. No children to look after or worry about. No rent to pay. 295 00:52:21,220 --> 00:52:24,620 What could you possibly have to worry about? 296 00:52:25,820 --> 00:52:32,820 But you're bored aren't you. Bored of your big TV and your home deliveries. 297 00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:36,820 Bored of scrolling on your precious phone. 298 00:52:37,020 --> 00:52:40,820 Why don't you whip it out right now and plug into the bullshit. 299 00:52:43,820 --> 00:52:47,920 Posting and blogging about how creative you are. 300 00:52:49,020 --> 00:52:52,020 How much you've accomplished in this time 301 00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:54,520 How much you deserve praise 302 00:52:56,820 --> 00:52:58,220 No. 303 00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:01,920 Thousands of people are dying. 304 00:53:02,020 --> 00:53:05,020 But hey! I baked a banana bread. 305 00:53:07,520 --> 00:53:09,770 You just want someone to acknowledge you exist. 306 00:53:11,020 --> 00:53:17,920 Self-actualisation. You are sat right here feeling sorry for yourself. 307 00:53:18,020 --> 00:53:20,520 Basting in your self-pity. 308 00:53:26,220 --> 00:53:30,920 Have you called your parents yet? See how they're doing? 309 00:53:31,220 --> 00:53:41,920 Am I right in saying your Dad is high risk? Stuck abroad. Medication running low. Embassy won't help. 310 00:53:44,220 --> 00:53:52,920 I don't even think you've given a second's thought to how scared they must be. Has it crossed your mind they might get infected? 311 00:53:55,220 --> 00:54:08,820 They might not make it home at all. But no. You're sat here day after pointless day. Consuming and whining. Slowly letting your body fuse 312 00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:19,920 into the John Lewis fucking furniture. This is your existential proof. You do exist and you're a baby. 313 00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:32,920 You can blame everyone else. Blame anyone but yourself. The Government. Corporations. The media. Well take aim and fire. 314 00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:39,920 Won't change anything. There's a bigger picture out there you just don't see. 315 00:54:45,120 --> 00:54:55,520 It just doesn't matter that you're inconvenienced for a couple of months. You see we still don't know how long this is going to go on for. 316 00:54:56,520 --> 00:55:00,020 We don't know how many more people it is going to take. 317 00:55:02,120 --> 00:55:15,920 So ask yourself who's worth saving? Nurses? The police? Artists or scientists? Who's life is most important? 318 00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:24,920 What about you? Sat here in your arse crevice. 319 00:55:28,120 --> 00:55:31,020 Do you think you're worth saving? 320 00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:42,020 Fuck off! 321 00:56:24,120 --> 00:56:25,920 What the fuck is that? 322 00:56:56,120 --> 00:56:57,920 Fuck it. 323 00:57:51,120 --> 00:57:52,920 Come on. 324 00:58:07,120 --> 00:58:08,920 When do the bins go out? 325 01:03:30,120 --> 01:03:31,920 Not fun. 326 01:08:03,120 --> 01:08:08,920 FOOTSTEPS UPSTAIRS. 327 01:10:21,120 --> 01:10:23,920 WATER DRIPPING 328 01:11:10,020 --> 01:11:12,920 All this water for one person? 329 01:11:14,120 --> 01:11:15,920 Bit greedy. 330 01:11:17,120 --> 01:11:18,920 If you'd asked nicely. 331 01:11:19,820 --> 01:11:23,920 What? You would have shared? Sure. 332 01:11:37,120 --> 01:11:45,920 All this food. All this space. Practically luxury. 333 01:11:46,120 --> 01:11:47,920 This is my home. 334 01:11:53,120 --> 01:11:56,920 Right. You could afford all this? Mummy and Daddy's house? 335 01:12:00,120 --> 01:12:02,920 Where are they? 336 01:12:08,120 --> 01:12:15,920 You all by yourself? Lucky you got me here to keep you company. 337 01:12:42,120 --> 01:12:45,920 Hey. Oi oi oi. 338 01:12:54,120 --> 01:12:57,920 I haven't got much here. I'm trying to make that last. 339 01:13:03,120 --> 01:13:06,920 Fuck off! Try that again and I blow your fucking brains out! 340 01:13:42,120 --> 01:13:50,920 You're a smart boy. Saved up all your food. Smart. Most weren't. Fuck off. 341 01:14:00,120 --> 01:14:06,920 I haven't seen another person in ten days. So I'm gonna talk your ear off if you like it or not. 342 01:14:13,120 --> 01:14:17,920 Don't know what your missing out in here. You'd love it out there. 343 01:14:20,120 --> 01:14:21,920 It's all very refreshing. 344 01:14:33,120 --> 01:14:35,920 What's your name? 345 01:14:41,120 --> 01:14:52,920 Tough nut. Like that. It's alright. Used to talking to myself. When you're alone this long you start imagining having company. 346 01:15:12,120 --> 01:15:14,920 Love this tinned pastas. 347 01:15:19,120 --> 01:15:22,920 Can you please just leave? 348 01:15:41,120 --> 01:15:43,920 No. I don't think I will. 349 01:15:53,120 --> 01:16:01,820 Besides I got nowhere to be. You know this house is miles from anywhere. Must of crossed a million miles of fields 350 01:16:02,020 --> 01:16:09,920 before finding this place. Was glad to find it though let me tell you. Was in London a few weeks ago. 351 01:16:16,120 --> 01:16:22,920 I saw this banker shoving everything into this car. Ornaments. Tacky paintings. You know the important stuff. 352 01:16:27,120 --> 01:16:28,920 All into the back of this oversized Bmer. 353 01:16:37,120 --> 01:16:39,420 Then we came along. 354 01:16:53,120 --> 01:16:58,920 Didn't used to rob people. But the whole went to shit. Do what you can. 355 01:17:01,120 --> 01:17:06,920 Not sure if leaving town was the right choice. Had no idea where I was going. 356 01:17:09,120 --> 01:17:12,920 No way I was hanging about in that mess know what I mean. 357 01:17:14,520 --> 01:17:18,920 Too many crowds. Too much fighting. 358 01:17:25,120 --> 01:17:27,920 Just turned crazy. 359 01:17:33,120 --> 01:17:38,420 You've got it made here. Totally alone out here. 360 01:17:40,120 --> 01:17:43,920 I bet nobody bothers you. 361 01:17:46,120 --> 01:17:48,920 Well. Almost no one. 362 01:18:10,120 --> 01:18:12,920 Nice home you've got here. 363 01:18:15,120 --> 01:18:22,920 Mind if I take a look around? I've spent a long time trying to get right here. 364 01:18:28,020 --> 01:18:29,920 I'm going to take my sweet time. 365 01:20:42,120 --> 01:20:43,920 Yes. 366 01:20:53,120 --> 01:20:55,920 Come on. Come on. 367 01:21:10,120 --> 01:21:12,920 Cheeky fucker. 368 01:21:14,020 --> 01:21:18,920 Hoarding bottles of this are we. Lucky bastard. 369 01:21:35,120 --> 01:21:41,920 Strong stuff. Your fuse box is out as well. Might wanna get that looked at. 370 01:23:23,120 --> 01:23:25,920 What a warm reception. 371 01:23:26,120 --> 01:23:28,020 Shut the fuck up. 372 01:23:34,920 --> 01:23:36,520 All I wanted was some water. 373 01:23:37,020 --> 01:23:44,520 I would have given you some if you hadn't broken in and tried to kill me. 374 01:23:44,620 --> 01:23:46,520 When did I try to kill you? 375 01:23:46,920 --> 01:23:48,520 You pushed me down the fucking stairs. 376 01:23:52,970 --> 01:23:55,520 Right. Sorry about that. 377 01:23:56,970 --> 01:23:59,520 Would it help if I told you I was a nurse? 378 01:24:08,920 --> 01:24:10,920 You had this on you as well. 379 01:24:11,920 --> 01:24:15,520 Just be thankful I didn't use it on you. 380 01:24:19,020 --> 01:24:23,520 Fake gun trick was pretty good. 381 01:24:24,020 --> 01:24:26,520 Fooled you. Almost. 382 01:24:30,020 --> 01:24:36,520 I'd have let you off if it wasn't for this. But this… 383 01:24:42,020 --> 01:24:45,520 I feel like shit. Like I care. 384 01:24:47,020 --> 01:24:49,520 Come off it Superman. 385 01:24:50,020 --> 01:24:52,520 Like I could take someone down like you. 386 01:25:01,020 --> 01:25:05,520 So got it? I avoided it for weeks. 387 01:25:07,020 --> 01:25:10,520 Some dick stole my pills. Some dick like YOU stole your pills. 388 01:25:10,920 --> 01:25:12,920 You don't know how lucky you are out here by yourself. 389 01:25:13,020 --> 01:25:15,520 You keep saying that. Why? 390 01:25:15,620 --> 01:25:17,820 There's no water. What? 391 01:25:19,020 --> 01:25:28,520 There's no water. Reservoirs ran dry. People started looting. Riots. It's wild out there. 392 01:25:31,020 --> 01:25:33,520 Do you have any idea what's going on? 393 01:25:36,020 --> 01:25:40,520 Oh my God. You don't do you? 394 01:25:43,020 --> 01:25:45,520 How long you been alone for? 395 01:25:53,020 --> 01:25:56,520 And that's why you broke in? To loot? 396 01:26:01,020 --> 01:26:03,520 No. I was just desperate. 397 01:26:05,020 --> 01:26:07,520 You're full of shit. 398 01:26:08,020 --> 01:26:12,520 Yeah? It won't last forever. 399 01:26:13,020 --> 01:26:21,520 You'll run out soon too and more people like me will come around. It's just a matter of time. 400 01:26:26,020 --> 01:26:28,520 Whatever you say. 401 01:26:55,020 --> 01:26:58,520 WATER GURGLES 402 01:26:58,620 --> 01:27:00,520 Fuck fuck fuck. 403 01:27:05,020 --> 01:27:06,520 Fuck. 404 01:27:21,020 --> 01:27:23,520 Come on. 405 01:28:44,020 --> 01:28:49,520 DISTANT WHISPERS 406 01:28:50,020 --> 01:28:53,520 More people like me will come around. 407 01:28:57,020 --> 01:29:00,520 It's just a matter of time. 408 01:30:38,020 --> 01:30:42,520 PIPE GURGLES. 409 01:32:17,020 --> 01:32:21,520 DISTANT WHISPERS 410 01:33:50,020 --> 01:33:52,520 What were you expecting? 411 01:33:53,020 --> 01:33:58,520 An angel to come down from above to bring back your prime time TV? 412 01:33:59,520 --> 01:34:01,520 Can you blame a guy for trying? 413 01:34:02,020 --> 01:34:08,520 Sure. Sitting in your dust castle. Thinking of better days. 414 01:34:12,820 --> 01:34:15,420 Eating out of those. 415 01:34:16,020 --> 01:34:18,020 It's a nice castle. 416 01:34:24,020 --> 01:34:27,520 How do those beans taste now? 417 01:34:36,020 --> 01:34:38,820 DISTANT WHISPERS 418 01:34:45,020 --> 01:34:47,920 You smell awful. 419 01:34:49,020 --> 01:34:51,520 Shower doesn't work. 420 01:34:55,020 --> 01:34:57,520 You're dying in here. 421 01:34:57,820 --> 01:35:02,520 Well you know what? I'd rather die in here than die out there with everyone else. 422 01:35:02,720 --> 01:35:08,520 It's no safer in here than it is anywhere else. It's the same fucking virus wherever you go. 423 01:35:15,020 --> 01:35:23,520 Alright. What's keeping you here? What the hell are you waiting for? 424 01:35:33,720 --> 01:35:35,920 I'm waiting for them to come home. 425 01:35:49,020 --> 01:35:51,520 No one's coming home. 426 01:36:42,920 --> 01:36:44,520 VOICES FROM OUTSIDE 427 01:36:44,620 --> 01:36:46,520 MUFFLED VOICES Reckon we can get in through the upstairs window? 428 01:36:53,020 --> 01:36:55,020 DISTANT WHISPERS 429 01:37:07,020 --> 01:37:08,920 MUFFLED VOICES Give me a hand getting the door open. 430 01:38:02,020 --> 01:38:03,820 MUFFLED VOICES Come out come out wherever you are. 431 01:38:56,020 --> 01:39:01,520 All this water for just one person. 432 01:41:15,020 --> 01:41:17,520 DISTANT WHISPERS 433 01:45:47,020 --> 01:45:49,520 DISTANT WHISPERS 434 01:48:08,820 --> 01:48:12,520 Your call cannot be connected. Please hang up and try again. 435 01:48:25,020 --> 01:48:27,920 UK_GOV - YOU MUST STAY AT HOME! 35088

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