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[ To Be A Better Man ]

Episode 4

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[ America ]

Your father...

We have already met.

In the morgue.

He said you'd drunk again.

And took him home.

But why did you come back and my dad didn't?

I'm sorry.

Who are you sorry to?

What else can you do aside from saying sorry？

It's my dad whom you are sorry to.

You killed him.

You killed the only one

who helped clean up the mess

when you got shit-faced drunk.

You killed your only friend!

Call the doctor to give me some morphine. It hurts too much.

You want to anesthetize yourself?

- Get the doctor.- What about me?

Who can anesthetize me?

I hate you.

You ruined him. You ruined him!

You killed my dad!

You are the murderer. It's you who killed my dad.

If thinking that's true

makes you feel better, than you can think that.

Whether I'm a murderer or not, your dad is gone.

Don't try to deny it.

I'm asking you, why is it that you and my dad were in the same car,

but he died and you're still alive.

Why didn't you die?

I really wanted to die together with your dad.

Your dad is my best bro.

But I wasn't that lucky.

Why are you still alive?!

You should lie here and suffer from all the pain, do you understand?!

You should just lie here! You're the one who should have died!

You should die, do you know that?

You should go and die!

- You deserve it!- Please, you have to get out of here.

- Just lie here and suffer!- He needs to rest, please.

You should just lay here!

You should die, Lu Yuan!

You're the one who should have died!

You should die, Lu Yuan!

Mr. Peng Hai appointed you to guard his daughter in his will.

Considering you are from the same immigrant country,

have the same cultural background and have known each other for many years,

we also want you to be the guardian.

But as far as we know, you are a very serious alcoholic.

So we decided to transfer Peng Jiahe to the Minor Protection Organization,

unless you can stop drinking.

Can you understand?

That is to say,

if you want me to become one of those schoolyard ruffians,

then keep drinking.

If you think you don't need to take responsibility for my dad's death, then drink.

In any case, at worst, you'll drink yourself to death.

It may be the best outcome for you.

This is an Alcoholics Anonymous group.

You need to guarantee that you can remain sober for at least one hundred days.

Otherwise we won't give you the guardianship.

I know how terrible it is to be an addict.

But I couldn't resist. It sucks.

It's like an endless loop.

I want to try, and I do it. At least I'm trying.

I want to go back to my previous life.

And now we must welcome the next member, Lu Yuan.

I'm Lu Yuan. I'm different from you.

I'm not really similar to you smokers and drunkards.

I'm just not willing to stay sober.

Being sober is more painful than death.

Because my family, my friends, and my loved ones have all left me.

My best friend, Peng Hai, died from a car accident a hundred days ago.

At the time, I really wanted to go with him.

But in the end,

God didn't agree to it.

He said Peng Hai still had a daughter who wasn't even 18 yet.

You have to help raise her.

Help her grow into an adult.

Therefore, I was forced to stop drinking.

I have to get that guardianship.

Today is the 100th day.

I wonder if I'll be able to get the sobriety medal.

Anyway, once I've raised this girl up successfully,

I'll make up for all the alcohol I didn't drink in the past hundred days.

I'd like to repeat once more.

I'm not really similar to you drunkards.

I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a normal person.

I just feel too grieved when I'm sober.

Wish me an early death.

Thank you to all the drunkards, thank you.

You can't even understand me. Why clap?

One hundred days. Very long time!

Thank you for your address, Lu Yuan.

It's a good start, at any rate.

You kept sober for a hundred days.

Here is your medal.

A dog can't change the fact that it eats shit.

Do you know

the bitter taste

I suffer because I want to forget someone

You don't know

Who are you?

Let go of me, you gangster!

Don't move. Don't move.

So you want to die? You should find a better method.

Do you know what the end result is from jumping off of here? You'll be crushed to pieces.

No bone in your body will be unbroken, and your skin will plop into the floor,

just like a piece of gum stuck on the ground.

The police will have to come and shovel you away.

Do you understand?

Girl,

do you know what a person has to prepare if they're going to jump of a building?

Put a plastic bag over your head and tie it around your neck.

Then plop onto the ground. For environmental safety.

I know.

I've seen it.

Why do you want to die?

Lovelorn.

You're going to commit suicide just because you're lovelorn?

An innocent girl. You don't look like one.

Then why are you here?

I'm lovelorn too.

But I won't die.

I'm a troublemaker. Can't die.

Let go.

It hurts.

Grandma, let's not wait for my dad. Let's eat firs.

You're hungry?

Then you should eat first. I'll wait for your dad.

This is pork and lentil filling, your dad's favorite.

What time is it? Why hasn't your father returned from work yet?

Hurry and call him.

Make sure not to burn yourself when you eat.

Hello? Where are you?

What? Did he beat you up or did you beat him up?

If you're not hurt, hurry and get back here.

Something wrong?

What do you think? I'm just worried you've let go to your addiction.

Even the luggage is back, so where are you?

Who are you with? Gan Jing?

Alright, that's it for now. Bye.

I'm not going to leave you there without a care.

Grandma,

my father's meeting with a friend. He won't be eating at home.

It's not clean to eat outside.

I'll pack this up and send it over to him.

No, no, it's really not necessary. It's an old friend, let's not bother them.

It's not a big deal. You can just make him fried cakes later.

Fried cakes?

Then it won't taste good.

Where did he die off to?

You're the one who was carrying ashes on the plane, right?

You're the one who wanted to upgrade the seat for the ashes on the plane, right?

Do you think we're enemies who must inevitably meet or we're destined (lovers) who meet no matter the distance?

Let's go. We'll find a place to drink.

It's the middle of the night. You're not afraid I'm a love swindler?

You?

Or do you want to extort me for sex?

Today you and I wanted to die, but we both failed.

Then let's go have a drink together to celebrate our new lease on life.

Are you going or not?

Scared?

You don't dare to come along?

You're not coming in?

I was thinking that you might want to be alone for a bit.

Then give me a call when you get home.

Okay.

There are some things that I have to say tonight,

or else things will become very difficult.

Tell me.

I know that you still love Lu Yuan.

To be precise,

you never stopped loving him.

Even when he disappeared,

you didn't let go.

Lu Yuan's already grown a spot in your heart.

I know that I'm...

like a spare tire.

I'll only be needed

when something breaks or a tire gets blown.

But I definitely won't leave you helpless on your own.

I definitely won't abandon you.

I spent so much time to walk out together with you.

I don't want to watch you recede back inside once I let go of your hand.

Everything that you've done for me,

I remember it all, and I'm very grateful.

And in my heart, I know,

I know who's important and who's not.

But love isn't just being grateful.

When he asked if you love me,

you didn't answer him.

But it's okay.

Maybe I haven't done enough.

And I'm also willing to wait.

Even if I have to wait ten years,

I hope that you will marry me

because you love me,

and not because

you want to end things with him.

[ America ]

Did you come back because you smelled the delicious aroma?

Tonight we're having lamb braised in red rine.

There was no one here when I got back. Where did you go?

I didn't bring my clothes. Hurry and bring them to me.

Lu Yuan, where are you?!

You should say something!

Li Yuan!

Where are you?!

Li Yuan, where are you?!

Have some hot water.

It's already been half a year.

I'll search with you for however long you want to keep searching.

Because I know you won't give him up.

But Gan Jing,

I really can't keep watching if you continue like this.

Let's discuss things.

Come back to China with me.

I'm not going.

No matter why Lu Yuan chose to leave this way, without saying goodbye,

he must have his reasons.

There are two things we can be sure of.

First, he doesn't want to be found.

Second, he definitely wouldn't want to see you in this state.

You can't stay here.

You'll be trapped in here.

This city is filled with traces of your life together. You can't escape from it.

Did he abandon me?

How can he be so cruel?

Leaving me here by myself.

What did I do wrong?

Who's car are you getting into?

Mine of course. I had the chauffeur bring it over.

Where are you going? I'll take you there.

What are you doing?

Wherever you go, I'll accompany you.

But you can't drive. Get off.

Why?

My best friend died like this. Hurry. Get off.

The one you brought back with you?

It's more like he brought me back.

[ Peng Jiahe ]

So do you still want to die?

I died a long time ago.

Then who's talking to me?

A ghost.

You must have been severely hurt by a woman.

Maybe it was me who severely hurt her.

A woman like you, for example.

What about me?

A woman like you, looking this beautiful,

dressing like this, wearing makeup like this,

drinking that kind of alcohol, driving a car like this...

Even from eight streets away, you can smell the desperation.

Young and beautiful.

Why would you want to die?

Then you tell me why.

Because your heart's broken.

With pus flowing and blood leaking out. Cloudy skies and rain falling. To hurt so much, you'd rather die.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Why wouldn't I?

There's a good solution.

Just cut off whatever hurts. If your hand hurd, cut it off.

If your head hurts, cut off your head. If your leg hurts, cut off your leg.

So what have you cut off?

I envy you. Without a heart, you won't hurt anymore.

You're wrong there.

When your heart's gone,

all you feel is pain.

Aren't you the same?

Heart's gone. Can't die, but can't live well.

You put it nicely.

So what do you think we should do?

What do we do?

Don't try to fight it.

I ruined my own life,

so I have to get revenge on myself.

Who ruined your life? Tell me, and I'll help you get revenge.

Do you dare?

Let's go.

The villa's this big?

How much money is this worth? Hundreds of millions?

What does this guy do? How does he have so much money?

Son of a bitch, open the door!

Son of a bitch, open the door!

Open the door, son of a bitch!

Open the door, son of a bitch!

Rich.

Open the door, son of a bitch! Open the door!

You're really familiar with this, aren't you?

- Of course.- You come here often?

Son of a bitch, get out here!

Come out!

You scared?!

There's no one here.

Someone lives here? There's no one here.

This son of a bitch has multiple houses.

Multiple houses? Multiple places like this?

- Come out!- How much money does this son of a bitch have?

Son of a bitch, come out!

Jiang Haokun!

Jiang Haokun!

Scared?

You'd better hide!

I'm telling you, I'm not happy.

Where are you staying tonight?

Jiang Haokun, get out here!

What's your relationship with him?

Enemies.

He's my enemy!

You wanted to commit suicide because of him?

Let go of me!

Jiang Haokun!

Jiang Haokun.

Gan Jing, you're the woman of my dreams.

I want to make you the happiest woman in the world.

I want you to marry me.

If you hadn't come back, everything would have gone on smoothly.

But you came back.

You ruined everything.

Perfect.

You can't break this. This is really good wine.

This wine is just too good.

Give me.

Do you know?

Last time, I smashed a bottle of exceptional wine.

He hurt so much that he lectured me for an entire day.

It also pains me. Don't break them.

Let me take a look.

1994.

This one's 2001.

We're about done. Let's get out of here.

What if the owner comes back and runs into you, and then reports you to the police?

I gave you Gan Jing, who was more important than my life.

But you didn't treasure her.

You dare to have another woman?

Go die.

Do you know?

Rather than an addiction to alcohol, you're much more interested in torturing yourself.

Am I right?

Aren't you the same?

I'm going.

Are you here to apologize or to gloat?

Do you know that this is an intrusion of private property?

Do you know how much you destroyed?

Then make a police report.

Report it and have them catch me.

Do you know what distresses me most

when I see this?

It's you.

Because I can see that you're really hurting.

i hope that by doing this, you can let out all your emotions.

These few days, I've been letting you vent.

Because I'm also very sorry.

- What happened with Chen Fang was really an accident.- That's enough.

I feel more guilt than you think I do.

Jiang Haokun, you keep saying that you feel guilty. Don't you think you're being a hypocrite?

Can you only live with yourself if you say that?

Can you please tell me,

what do I have to do to make you stop hurting yourself?

Tell me what I have to do.

To be honest, I don't know myself.

That's why I have to try each thing, so that I'll know how to torture you.

Then I'll be happy.

But you just reminded me.

You said all this stuff isn't important?

That's true.

A life must be compensated by a life.

You made me lose the person I love.

I have to let you have a taste of losing a loved one for things to be even.

What do you mean?

Haven't you wanted to understand my feelings all along?

When you lose the person that you love, you'll understand.

Then you'll understand what I'm feeling right now.

[ Episode 4 END ]

♫ I often dream that I've grown wings ♫

♫ Free to soar between the heavens and the earth ♫

♫ Flying past the mountains and rivers, flying past my hometown ♫

♫ Flying to be by your side ♫

♫ You also have a pair of wings, shining at your sides ♫

♫ At first, I waved to you with this innocent dream ♫

♫ I worked really hard to fly into our new home ♫

♫ But you're slowly flying into the distance ♫

♫ I just wanted to stay in your dreamland ♫

♫ I stubbornly persisted, refusing to leave ♫

♫ I was afraid of disappearing, of losing my way ♫

♫ Afraid that I was drunk, that this was all an illusion ♫

♫ All along, I've chased after this hope ♫

♫ I've always been heading towards you ♫

♫ I genuinely cherish the time in my dreams ♫

♫ Afraid that once I wake up, all will soon be forgotten ♫

♫ All along, I've chased after this hope ♫

♫ I've always been heading towards you ♫

♫ I genuinely cherish the time in my dreams ♫

♫ Afraid that once I wake up, all will soon be forgotten ♫

♫ Afraid that once I wake up, I will be forgotten ♫