Original subtitles

Beautiful. As perfect a fake as I have ever seen.

I always said you were an artist, Bolo.

So did the police.

That proves my point.

After all, what does an artist want? To win the respect of the critics.

I know. I got some very fine notices from Scotland Yard on my last job.

And well-written too.

You cannot do anything with him. He will not listen.

Tell me once more this job is too dangerous for me to pull off alone.

It is too dangerous.

You try to make headlines when you know you shouldn't be seen on the street.

And you know it.

I beg your pardon. You say something? - Alright. Don't listen to me.

But just the same I tell you please don't do it.

Even if you get away with it the Duchess is going to roar like a stuck pig.

Duchesses don't roar, Bolo.

They speak in low, polite tones.

Maybe, but this one is going to roar.

You will have every policeman in the world down on your head.

I'll be living at the Ritz. They won't find me there.

You are crazy. You cannot always be lucky.

My dear, my darling Rosa.

And you Maestro. Speaking as one artistic thief to another.

Would you have asked Michelangelo not to paint the ceiling of Sistine chapel ..

Just because he might fall off the ladder?

No, of course you wouldn't. The job was worth the risk.

But you worry about me.

You do your job right. I'll do mine right.

Good morning, sir. May I welcome you to Bombay, sir.

I believe .. this is addressed to you.

A detective, huh?

Actually, a detective.

Socially, a spatial representative.

Wait here a minute.

Quite a safe you have here.

Yes. We have a great many valuables deposited with us during the season.

This is Inspector Cressney. He polices the arrangements for the Empire Ball.

Hello, Inspector. - How do you do.

This saves me seeing the commissioner. I was to report as a matter of form.

What do you intend doing here? - Nothing, unless it becomes necessary.

My orders are to cooperate with you.

I'm here because many of our policy holders have come over for Empire Day.

Hmm.

I don't suppose you have any other credentials?

Yes, of course.

I think you will almost everything here connects me with Lloyd's.

I made it a point to bring them along just in case of a situation like this.

Well, let me know if I can do anything to help.

Thanks. I hope it won't be necessary.

The main thing on my mind is the Duchess of Beltravers. We insure her.

To see she doesn't hand the Star of Asia over to the first stranger she meets.

They say she can act like pretty senile old fool.

No.

She is no different than the rest of them.

I've been running the hotel for thirty years now.

And I have yet to have an intelligent guest in the place.

She stays here of course?

Yes, and she has got the whole staff in a panic. Myself included.

What precautions are you taking to guard the old girl against herself?

Every precaution.

We've got the Duchess locked in that safe right now.

At least we have the Star of Asia in there. That's the same thing to us.

Oh .. you keep it there, do you?

Every minute that she doesn't wear it.

Two of my men go along when it's brought to her and when it is brought back.

Well, I don't think you've got much to worry about, Mr Meldrick.

No, I suppose not. But I am the worrying type.

Well, look me up for a drink someday.

We'll do a little worrying together. - Thanks. I will.

How about ..?

What is it?

A miracle.

I just saw a policeman change into an angel.

I am the Baroness Von Duren and I wired reservations from Vienna.

Of course we have them, Madame.

I am Mr Richard, the director.

Permit me your Ladyship, to show you to your suite.

Who is she? Is she alone?

No, sir. She is here with her grandchildren.

Grandchildren?

You really shouldn't do that, you know.

Do what, sir?

Flatten tires, smash dreams.

Grandchildren.

These rooms are always a great favourite ..

Of the Arch Duke Franz from your country, Your Ladyship.

I am sorry to hear it. - Why, Madame?

The Arch Duke notorious for his bad taste.

Oh, I suppose they are putting up the decorations for the ball tomorrow night.

Yes, Madame.

That reminds me.

I asked in my wire that a table be reserved for four.

My guests are arriving by plane tomorrow.

I am sure it has been arranged, Madame.

I need to know where I am sitting.

Of course. I will look into the matter at once.

He won his spurs at the battle of Blenheim. He won his spurs.

Henry Crashaw. The First Duke of Beltravers.

Later distinguished himself at Malplaquet.

Georgiana, Grand Duchess Beltravers painted by Gainsborough.

Georgiana. Gainsborough.

Roger, Fifth Duke. Fought with distinction at the battle of ..

The battle of ..?

Balaclava.

The Crimean war.

[ Door knocks ]

Come in.

Do you wish to see where you will be seated tomorrow night, Baroness?

Please.

I have reserved for your party this table here.

A very desirable location, Your Ladyship.

It seems a little close to the music.

Who are my neighbours?

This is Captain Rawlinson, this is the Rajah of Yangpur.

No, no. Much too close to the music.

Perhaps this section here, Madame?

That is very remote from the music.

It seems a little too remote.

Who is sitting here?

This is Major General Hobson.

And this is Honourable Agatha Mayhew.

No, no. It is much too far away from the music.

Perhaps somewhere in the centre section, Your Ladyship?

That seems at once too far away and too close to the music.

My guests are friends of the Duchess of the Beltravers.

Where is she sitting?

Her Grace's table is right here, Madame.

That doesn't seem a bad location.

Perhaps you could let me have this table here?

I shall arrange it for you, Madame.

My pleasure. Delighted to be of service.

Women.

Men.

Good afternoon, sir. Very well, hope.

Alight, I hope. But I'll be much better for a shave.

A close shave or a very close shave?

The hair is a little too long.

I'm in a hurry. All I want is a shave and I want it quick.

Alright.

Alright.

Now don't cut too much.

How I can shave you unless you are sitting back?

Oh. Give me a haircut. - A haircut?

Oh yes.

How much time you have?

I'm in no hurry. Got all the time in the world.

Oh yes.

Would you pull that shade down please.

Certainly, Madame.

Don't bother to mend it now.

I want go get out of here in a hurry please.

But bring me something to read will you please.

Thank you. Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Ouch!

I beg your pardon.

Beauty in distress? Gerald to the rescue.

I believe you want the third floor, Baroness.

Permit me.

Simple, you see. Very simple.

That's funny. We seem to be stuck.

I hope not.

Get the engineer.

It's ridiculous. Everyone is staring at us.

What will we do?

Well, we might build a fire on the beach.

And I might hand my shirt to a tall tree so that a passing ship would see us.

Please. - I'm just trying to be practical.

But it's no use.

When a man is a dreamer the woman wants him to be practical.

When he's practical she wants him to be a dreamer. The story of my whole life.

And the result is you see before you .. - If you don't stop I will scream.

That would be one way to get help.

Shall I try, Baroness?

I don't know. It is so silly.

We might be here for hours.

Yes, that is quite possible.

I knew a man once who was stuck in one of these things for three days.

When they finally got him out he had a delusion that he was a ..

A flight of stairs. He kept trying to walk up and down himself.

He never recovered, poor fellow.

You are incorrigible. Why don't you do something?

I am trying to be attractive.

Well, you are not succeeding.

What if it should suddenly start to fall?

Ah.

The soft touch of your new manicure.

I am sorry.

I didn't realize what I was doing.

Is it necessary for you to stab me in the heart like that?

Don't worry up there. We'll have you out in a jiffy.

Then I suppose there's nothing we can do but wait.

That is the spirit, Your Ladyship.

In the meantime I'll amuse you with some interesting stories.

They come to me naturally in my profession.

Maybe someday when this is over you'll invite me for a cigarette ..

And I'll tell you about my amazing adventures.

I'm afraid that would be quite impossible.

What is your profession?

I am a detective.

A detective?

You seem surprised.

Well, I was a little surprised myself when I found I was one. But I am.

I work for Lloyd's of London.

And I am down here to see that nobody steals Lady Whoosis' tiara ..

Or Lady Whatsit's diamond necklace.

Tell me.

Why is it?

What?

Whenever I look at you I get a strange feeling I am shooting up towards heaven.

Thank goodness. I wonder what could have been wrong with it.

I can't imagine, Baroness.

Well, I suppose it's goodbye.

Wouldn't you like to come in and smoke a cigarette, mister ..?

Detective?

Yes.

A wonderful place, India.

Yes, it is. - Hmm.

But the whole world is wonderful today.

Why? - Oh no.

No. If I told you that it would sound too much like a popular song.

I will be back in a minute. Make yourself at home.

Thanks.

I always do.

Hello.

Hello.

I just left you a moment ago. - Yes, I know.

Every time I glance at you I feel as if I've just seen you for the first time.

That is a wonderful gift. And very rare.

You deserve a drink for that. - Thank you.

I had one just now.

Just now?

Yes. When you spoke to me.

Now you deserve two drinks.

I'll have one myself.

I hope you won't misunderstand me but ..

You don't look like a detective. Or talk like one either.

That's what makes me such a valuable man.

Most detectives do look like detectives.

And the result is that they are perpetually arresting each other.

But I don't want to talk shop. I want to talk about you.

I'm a lady. Ladies are dull.

So are detectives. - Not if you know nothing about them.

Then they're fascinating.

Besides, you promised me you would tell me some of your adventures.

I consider my present adventure the high spot in my career.

No, no. Do be serious this once. I am curious.

Now, you say you are here to protect people's jewels.

Tell me because I haven't the faintest idea. How do you go about it?

For instance, this famous stone .. the ..

The Star of Asia.

What precautions are used to guard it?

Well, for one thing it is usually kept in the hotel vault.

But still, the Duchess does wear it on occasions, doesn't she?

Yes.

But it is brought to her and taken away by two detectives.

How interesting.

I'm glad I never cared very much about jewels.

I'd hate to put anyone to all that bother to protect something of mine.

Particularly if there's people plotting and planning to take it away from you.

Some of those people are very clever too, aren't they.

Yes.

But not always as a clever as they think.

From what you say it would take a very clever person to steal the Star of Asia.

I simply can't imagine how it could be done.

Yes, I suppose there are ways.

Oh yes.

Knock-out drops and even hitting the old lady over the head.

That would be pretty crude work.

I know an extraordinarily clever criminal ..

Who makes perfect replicas of the original stones.

And slips them in the place of the real ones?

Yes.

How thrilling.

Just to think there are people like that in the world.

Somehow that seems a little too complicated to be really, truly clever.

Of course I don't know anything about it.

It would seem to me the easiest way ..

Would be to make the acquaintance of the Duchess, find out her weaknesses ..

And then take advantage of them.

Yes.

But it is not always so easy to meet a Duchess, you know.

I was imagining the criminal was clever enough to do it.

You know, you have quite carried me away.

I didn't think I was capable of thinking up ways to steal things.

Aren't we all?

Here is to crime.

To crime.

Well, here is to crime.

And beauty.

And beauty.

I don't see how you can eat it. I hate caviare.

It's like eating a lot of little black golf balls.

I remember my dear husband always said ..

Why, it is unbelievable.

That young lady.

She is the image of myself.

Years ago.

Good evening, Baroness.

Good evening.

How nice of you to say hello.

My heart bled for you seeing you sitting here in such lonely splendour.

Yes. My guests are late.

I got bored with myself and came down here alone.

I was just wishing I hadn't.

I do feel conspicuous suddenly.

Would you like me to remain until your guests arrive?

That is very kind of you but they will be along any minute now.

And then I shall have to ask you to leave.

That would be awkward for me, wouldn't it.

Oh, very.

I see your point.

Well, perhaps some other time.

I do hope you don't think I am being rude.

No, not at all.

If I were in your position I would be doing the same thing.

Well then, since we met only to part ..

Permit me to wish you a successful evening, Your Ladyship.

Thank you. I hope you have one too.

Your success couldn't fail to be my success, of course.

I am sorry, Madame. No message has come for you.

I don't understand how Prince Rimboult could have done this to me.

Or how Marie or Irene could have permitted him to do it.

I'm simply too embarrassed to remain her alone any longer.

I never should have come here in the first place.

If Prince Rimboult and his family arrive, call me in my room.

Certainly, Madame.

Bring that young woman to me.

What young woman?

Pardon me, but Her Grace would like to speak to you.

Her Grace? - Yes.

The Duchess of Beltravers.

I don't know her.

Look here, the Duchess is rather eccentric.

She'll give me the devil if you don't.

I would consider it a personal favour if you would listen to what the old ..

Battleship has to say.

Thank you very much. Come on.

My dear, won't you sit down for a minute?

Thank you.

Did I hear you mention the name of Prince Rimboult?

Yes, Your Grace.

Why, he is a cousin of my late husband's. I know him well of course.

But of course, I've often heard him mention you.

I am the Baroness Von Duren. - How do you do, my dear.

Why then, you were in Switzerland with his family last winter?

Yes. Yes, I was.

And the next time you see him I want you to tell him he is a very naughty man.

He and Marie were supposed to fly here tonight as guests and haven't showed up.

It has put me in a simply frightful position.

Then you shall be my guest for the evening.

Oh, Your Grace, I couldn't.

There.

I spend my entire life making up for my relatives' shortcomings.

Every woman does. Are you still here?

You run along to the bar. You will be much happier there anyway.

Where do you get your hair done?

Why, right here at the hotel.

They took more trouble with you than they did with me.

Do you read much?

A little.

I am glad to hear it. No woman should read much.

Every line in my face comes from reading some book or the other.

I suppose you've heard I drink?

Well, of course not.

Oh yes you have. Everyone has.

Well, I carried my children like a lady and I carry my liquor like a gentleman.

The fact is I should rather like a drink myself.

Your glass looks awfully empty.

Oh, what wonderful bubbles.

They are not so wonderful when they get inside you.

I had a weakness for the First Duke. He won his spurs at Blenheim, didn't he.

And of course his son fought with such distinction at Fontenoy.

And I have always just adored Gainsborough's portrait of Georgiana.

What a beauty she was. And I've had such a weakness for the Fifth Duke ..

In the Crimean war when he made that wonderful charge at the battle of ..

The battle of .. - How wonderful ..

You know more about my family than I do myself.

Where did you learn it all? - Oh, I just picked it up.

Your aim is excellent.

That's because I know what I want.

With that noisy crowd no wonder you have a headache.

You will feel much better up here.

I will call you when I want you.

Why, I didn't order that.

It was my idea. I thought you might enjoy it.

Oh, I do.

Whoops.

Nature never did anything more wonderful for man or woman.

Than when he gave them the means of sitting down.

Do you think a little more of wine might take away this miserable headache ..

I have got so mysteriously?

I am sure it will.

There you are.

Where did you get that wonderful hairdo?

Right here at the hotel.

Well, I don't understand it. They gave me a perfectly rotten one.

Why should they take more trouble with you than they do with me?

I am sure they don't.

Of course not.

I am a Duchess.

Not that I am really one, my dear.

That is, I wasn't born to it.

I came to the aristocracy through the stage door.

Old Beltravers was a fool.

My husband was a fool.

All husbands are fools.

But not all fools are husbands.

I will have to think that one over.

Don't you think you had better lie down?

Do you?

I do. I really do.

Well, alright.

I have never known what is good for me.

Shall I get you a stool?

Oh yes. There.

It isn't necessary for you to press down on my head like that.

I am sorry. I am really sorry but ..

You know, I think I do know a way of relieving you. Shall I try it?

My toes.

But don't press on my head like that.

No, I won't.

Yes.

That is very comforting.

Very.

Hello.

I want to speak to Inspector Cressney.

Hello, Inspector?

This is Meldrick, Lloyd's of London.

Just for your information, the Duchess is rather indisposed.

I think it would be a good idea to send up for her jewels.

Oh no, not at all.

It's part of my job.

[ Door knocks ]

Give it to me. Your Ladyship.

I don't know what you mean.

And if you don't get out of here immediately I will call for help.

A nice little bauble, isn't it.

You don't seem to think so.

Never mind what I think.

You have got me. - Ah, but there's the rub.

You have got me.

You are a fool.

If you weren't you do have sense enough to know that crime doesn't pay.

Maybe someday you will.

Let me leave this thought with you, Your Ladyship.

Honesty is the best policy.

I am a detective and I tell you that.

I don't understand altogether.

There's a boat leaving for a number of places tomorrow morning at eight.

Take my advice and catch it.

You mean .. you mean you are not going to arrest me?

I should, of course. It is my duty to arrest you.

But how can a man put handcuffs on moonlight?

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Don't mention it.

Madame, you are right to admire it.

It is that famous stone: The Star of Asia.

There is nothing like it in the world.

Thank you.

Good morning. I phoned down for my bill.

Yes sir. I fancied you were the gentleman.

That's the way it goes, sir. Yesterday we were jam-packed and tonight ..

We'll be almost empty.

And you are not the only one, sir. Any number of people are going today.

Yes, I suppose so.

By the way, has the Baroness Von Duren checked out yet?

Yes. She left some time ago.

Do you know if she left a forwarding address?

I don't know, sir. I will see. - No, no, no. It's alright.

I am a happy and successful man.

Can you give me one good reason as man to man ..

Why I should complicate myself with a forwarding address?

I understand, sir.

Quite, sir. - Quite.

Thank you, sir. Thank you.

Where to, sir?

The airport please. - Yes, sir.

Cloudy with showers. Probably lightning and thunder.

What does that mean?

Just a weather forecast. I am an expert at it.

I see you have come for a long stay. Brought your baggage.

What a delightful surprise. - I'm glad you think it is delightful.

That was a filthy trick you played on me and to think that I ..

Thank you, thank you.

Thank you.

It makes me angrier than anything else. It drives me crazy to think about it.

I don't know what I could do to you. - I was right. Lightning and thunder.

Where did you have it made? - What?

That fake you planted on the Duchess.

How did you find out?

That doesn't matter. What does matter is that you're going to give it back to me.

Say, you are expecting a lot aren't you.

It's my property isn't it. I stole it didn't I?

I stole it from you. That makes it my property, doesn't it?

Nothing of the sort. That's an entirely different thing.

Besides, you deserve to lose it you know.

You met with the Duchess publicly and were seen going to her rooms with her.

Good heavens. You must be the rankest kind of an amateur.

I am not. I am just as good a thief as you.

Don't be ridiculous. They would have been on your trail in an hour.

Now it may take even weeks or months.

Before they find out.

You know. I think I deserve the thing on the simple grounds of cleverness.

Ha!

Not that I don't think you haven't good stuff in you but ..

Thank you. - It hasn't been properly developed.

Say, look here. How about it?

I've got a notion that you and I could be valuable to each other.

What do you mean?

I mean splitting 50/50 on this job and ..

On other jobs from now on. Being .. partners.

Haven't you noticed how those bags of ours have sort-of taken to each other?

It is a wonderful idea. There is only one trouble with it.

What? - I am no baggage.

This is too much. Partners indeed.

I am to reward you for robbing me by letting you ..

I don't want to have anything to do with you.

All I ask is to get back what belongs to me and you will give it to me right now.

Am I? - Yes - Why?

Because if you don't I am going to turn you over to the nearest policeman.

And then what is going to happen to you if you do?

Nothing.

They will let me go for turning you in. For getting it back for them.

Now I have got you in the same spot you had me in last night.

Give to me, Mr Lloyd's man.

50/50?

Come now, you don't really want to turn me over to the police.

I don't think I will have to.

No?

It's all yours, darling. - No. I don't want to take it.

Let me out of here! I've got nothing to do with this. Now let me out of here!

Don't be a fool. You're in it up to your neck.

Let me out of here!

Such a thing has never happened in all my years at the hotel.

Man, don't talk to me about it.

I thanked you for telling me to put that fake in the safe.

They weren't going to find out for weeks, for months.

Something has slipped up.

That isn't tall.

You must be the rankest kind of an amateur.

Ahoy there.

Go on, Start speaking your best Chinese.

That won't be necessary, Madame.

Where are you bound? - Hong Kong.

Hong Kong? I don't want to go to Hong Kong.

It's thousands of miles from here, from anywhere.

Tell him to go someplace else. - How long is the trip?

About four or five weeks.

Five weeks? - That's a long time.

We'd like to go with you.

This is no passenger ship, sir.

Of course, almost anything can be done for money.

Don't worry about that. You will be paid.

Drop the ladder.

Forgive me sir, but ..

One has to be very careful nowadays and ..

The circumstances are a little unusual.

Look here. I don't mind telling you just between ourselves.

The lady has just run away from her husband.

With me. That is all there is to it.

How dare you say a thing like that.

Then it isn't true?

Yes .. it is, but ..

He had no right to tell you.

Are you sure you have money?

I told you I had.

Well.

Perhaps we can arrange things, Please ..

You are right, Madame.

The bird is lovely but the nest is ugly.

Oh no, it's nice. It is very nice.

Captain, where is the other cabin?

Other?

There is no other.

I assumed .. - But ..

Well, I am sure the captain can find a bunk for me somewhere.

Yes, of course.

Goodnight. - Goodnight.

And dreams of heavenly joy.

Thank you.

I am sure I will have them.

Goodnight.

Partner.

Goodnight.

I'm afraid it will have to do.

I am afraid so.

Forgive me, sir. May I enquire your name?

Gibbons.

Gibbons .. and the lady's name?

Uh .. Hobbs.

Hobbs.

Well, goodnight.

Mr Gibbons.

Goodnight.

Ten thousand pounds.

[ Door knocks ]

Who is it? - Me.

I want to talk to you.

Come in.

Well.

We're on our way.

Scared?

It is not my habit to be.

No, I guess not. I thought you might be and that's the reason I'm here.

Thank you.

There is one thing I want you to know.

I realize I got you in a pretty tight spot.

I'm going to do everything humanly possible to get you out of it.

Word of honour.

I think you mean it.

Thank you.

Another thing. I don't know if I should tell you.

Then I must hear it.

That captain has got wind of something. I doubt he believes a word I told him.

We've got to keep our eyes open around here. Do you know how?

I don't know anything else.

I've been wondering about that ever since I found you out.

How did it happen? - What?

That you know the art of keeping your eyes open.

Oh.

I was dropped over the transom of a jewelry shop when I was seven.

Over a transom?

I had a father. A loving father who dropped me over it.

And I've been dropping over transoms ever since.

A childhood habit is hard to get rid of.

It grew on me.

So, here I am.

And you? Why are you here?

Oh, I couldn't make the divinity course.

What was it really, cards or women?

Both. I got them so mixed up that I got myself all mixed up.

Once I tried to fill an inside straight with a blond.

I fear I was a disgrace to the regiment.

The regiment?

Oh yes, I was a soldier once.

A Canadian in his Britannic Majesty's Royal Southland Fusiliers.

No, no. They didn't cashier me.

They let me send in my papers.

I can see it now floating over that transom of yours.

What?

The cloud under which I left the service.

I'm sorry.

Why? I'm alright.

[ Door knocks ]

Your name is Hobbs.

Come in.

A thousand apologies, sir.

Please forgive me Madame, but ..

You see, it just occurred to me.

I might run into very great difficulties in Hong Kong ..

If your passports are not in order.

Perhaps you will let me see them?

Captain, did you ever elope with another man's wife?

You don't stop for visas. - But ..

Is there any way of our landing without the usual formalities?

No. Impossible.

Impossible, sir.

Money talks in English. Don't tell me it doesn't talk in Chinese.

Could you put us overboard in a sampan a few miles before we reach the island?

Yes.

It could be done.

I would be taking a very great risk .

Yes. Well, I am not going to bargain with you. You can see for yourself.

Here is every red cent I have got.

A hundred and fifty pounds.

It is worth it to me if you will carry out your end of the bargain.

Will you?

You can depend on me, Mister Gibbons.

If I can't.

You can depend upon me, Mister Captain.

Oh, but ..

You see, I love money.

I would do anything for money.

Anything.

I don't like it.

I've got you in an even tighter spot than I thought.

You think he knows?

Something. I don't know how much, but something.

Do you think he'll wireless the police?

That shoreline looks peaceful, doesn't it.

It's funny how night softens everything.

Lights on the shore. Lights in the sky.

I wonder what it is about lights in the darkness that's so comforting to us all.

Yes.

People have always turned to the stars for hope haven't they.

Sometimes I wish I had been an astronomer.

What a wonderful way to keep your eyes on heaven.

And your feet on the ground.

Yes. Isn't it.

Goodnight and thank you.

For what?

For pointing out the lights in the darkness. That was kind.

I don't think I've ever been accused of that before.

I apologise for stepping out of character. Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Partner.

Goodnight.

Listen to this, Sergeant.

"Fugitives aboard my ship."

"Freighter Lotus Lily. Hong Kong bound."

"Claim reward."

"Advise. Captain Chang."

You can have the rest of your life off on full pay.

That is wonderful, sir.

Radio that I will meet the boat at Hong Kong.

Find out when the ship docks. And get me plane reservations in time to meet it.

Right away, sir.

What is our position?

We just left buoy number 9 astern, sir.

[ Fog horn ]

[ Fog horn ]

[ Fog horn ]

That must be them alright.

Come here. I was just going up to see you.

Isn't it about time something happened?

Something has happened. Fog.

What do you mean?

We are just reaching quarantine.

I thought you were putting us overboard in a sampan before we reached it?

I do not make the weather, sir.

Why didn't you tell me about this before?

Well ..

I didn't know our exact position.

But we will drop you as soon as we see the shoreline.

It will be safe then.

Yeah. Yeah, you are right.

[ Fog horn ]

Are you game? - For what?

To jump overboard. Swim, if you have to. - There's something wrong?

Only that we are at quarantine. The captain just sprang it on us.

This is one health inspection I would rather miss.

I've a hunch the doctors wear pretty blue uniforms and shiny brass buttons.

You think the captain is .. - He's double-crossing us.

And you are going to keep your nerve.

Yes, of course. But ..

What you are really saying is that we are caught.

They'll come aboard and we'll have an escort when we leave.

Easy now. We're not caught yet.

No.

We're not, are we.

I am a liar.

I'm caught alright.

So am I.

[ Ship's horn ]

[ Ship's horn ]

Come on. We are getting out of here.

Where are we going? - I don't know. We'll find out.

What are you doing?

I'm not going to swim.

I'm going to row. - Oh. Can I help?

I am Captain Chang.

I am Inspector Cressney from Bombay.

Where is he?

Unhook that block.

But .. I don't understand.

Come on. He must be somewhere on the ship.

Tired?

You are going to have a lot of blisters.

I will love every one of them.

The fog is beautiful isn't it.

Well that depends on which one you mean.

The one we are in or the one we are heading for?

It may even be thicker than this one.

And even more beautiful.

We may have to hide in cellars.

We can grow mushrooms.

Maybe in garrets.

We can look at the sun.

You are not worried are you.

No.

You are the skipper.

Master. No money, no can buy.

Imagine Tin Rung forgetting money.

Cheerio. So long. Be right back.

I'll bet you didn't tell him to bring me a lipstick.

I'm sorry, honey. I forgot.

I haven't much left. You will have to economise.

So you are going to begrudge me the bare necessities of life.

Oh, darling.

This has been the happiest time I've known in my whole roustabout career.

I'm glad you liked it.

I used to think four days at the Ritz in Paris was too long to spend in one spot.

And we have been here nearly four weeks.

We are not even going to be able to afford this joint very much longer.

Well, darling. You are pretty hunky.

How about shovelling a little coal on a luxury liner that goes to South America?

The last place they'd look for you is where there is work.

I wouldn't mind being a stewardess. Not half.

Great guns, Anya. I have it.

Gerald.

Read that. Read it out loud. I love to hear it.

"Wealthy merchant accused of fraud released on bail."

"Woo Tau Woo defrauded Government on sale of commodities for the Amy."

What has that to do with us? - Just a few thousand dollars, is all.

While he waits trial suppose a certain captain appears with some soldiers ..

And attaches the whole works. Everything he's got.

Including his cash.

Soldiers?

There is a war on, darling. The streets are full of them.

I will just step out and press a few into service.

All I need is a uniform.

Do you know any big-hearted tailors?

I'll wrangle a uniform. That's easy.

Then it's so long to this Chinese dugout.

We are off to the bright lights.

They wouldn't bright for long, Gerald.

You'd be right back in some other dugout hiding from some other police.

Isn't there something more for us than all that, Gerald?

Don't try to put those screwy ideas into my head, Anya.

That's not my dish.

It would bore me to death.

I'm sure it would.

I guess this cellar must have made me a little goofy.

Yeah, I guess it has.

How about a kiss, for luck?

Look at that shoulder. And look at the hang of that tunic. Look at that back.

If I may humbly apologise, Captain.

The coat hangs very well across .. - Look at the drape in those trousers.

I'd be ashamed to face the enemy, let alone my own battalion.

[ Chinese language ]

If Captain Houston will be so kind as to let us have the garment.

We shall endeavour to .. - I can't let you have it ..

Well, I've got a certain job to do right away and ..

This is the only uniform I have.

[ Chinese language ]

In that case Captain, he begs of you to let him cut you another.

He will drape the next one himself.

And of course there will be no charge for the first.

Yes. Well alright. I'll come back and let you have another go at it.

What insignia does the captain desire?

What insignias have you? Here, let me find it for you.

Here we are, here we are. Right here.

The Royal Southland Fusiliers.

And a first rate regiment if I do say so myself.

Now hurry it up. I've wasted enough time on this firm.

I can't even take time to buy myself some cigarettes.

Most humble apologies, Captain.

Alright. Alright.

I will .. leave my old suit here until I come back.

Fine. Thank you very much.

Good day. - Good day, Captain.

You look sensational. - Oh, colossal.

Tailor do big-time smart job.

Okay Gin Ling, we've made a pet of you around here because we have been bored.

But now that I have my commission I must have respect.

Yes, sir.

Oh look. What is that?

What?

I ..

I almost forgot.

These are none of your oriental disgusting titbits, Gin Ling.

They are real apples.

Real Caucasian occidental European apples.

Which a storekeeper left in an unguarded garden.

Here, have one and give those gin-soaked tonsils of yours a treat.

You'd be a credit in any man's army. - That's nothing, honey.

Take a feel in this pocket.

Oh, I'd rather have this than the ..

Than a diamond mine.

Yeah. That's right.

That's clean enough, Gin. I'll see you in the morning.

Yes, sir. Goodbye, sir. Goodbye, Missy.

Goodbye.

Hand me the baby.

Here her is, darling.

Too bad baby is so hot.

If he'd only get rid of that fever he'd be worth a million dollars.

He'll cool off. - Yes.

Here, you take him.

Don't burn yourself.

Now here is what you do, Anya.

You take a taxi.

Go to the corner of Waverley and Kinney Road at 2 o'clock sharp and stand by.

Don't budge until I get there.

I ought to make it by 2:30 at the latest.

Well goodbye and good luck, Captain ..

Houston.

You had better not forget because you are Mrs Houston.

Mrs Captain Houston. - That's right.

Goodbye. - Goodbye, darling.

Corporal.

Yes, sir?

Sorry to barge in on your leave ..

But I have an emergency duty to perform and I need you.

You men follow me.

Sergeant.

Fall in and follow me. - Yes, sir.

Halt!

You. Come here.

Fall in behind. - Yes, sir.

Company, halt!

Attention!

Men, follow me.

Fall in line. Form a column of three.

Company .. quick march!

Eyes right!

Mark time in front. Close up at rear.

Company, halt!

Men.

You are about to assist me in a situation of the utmost importance.

I doubt if you men have had much experience in this type of work.

So you will obey my orders implicitly.

I want this office entirely surrounded.

Men in front, fall out to the right.

Next six men, take post north side.

Double march!

Major, take post south side.

Forward, march!

You men follow me.

Which one of you is Woo Tau Woo?

Never mind that. I have orders to impound your books and ledgers.

Book for government case already ahead, Captain.

Are you going to open up that safe or do you want my men to do it?

They won't do a very tidy job I assure you.

This rascal has been trying to feed the British Army meal that's unfit for pigs.

Nothing here regarding government case. - Open up.

You look-see yourself. - Sergeant, take out those ledgers.

Yes, sir.

These ledgers will be returned to you after the trial.

What ..

What is in this tin box?

This will be impounded too.

But that is money. Money for my business.

That's what you say.

I wouldn't be surprised if this is the very thing I came here for.

Kay, please?

Sergeant, make out a receipt. - Yes, sir.

Anything not needed as evidence will be returned in the morning.

Fifteen ledgers. One tin box.

Sign it.

Shall I carry the box for you, sir?

No thank you, It isn't heavy. I can manage.

Very good, sir. - And you.

Let me leave this thought with you.

Crime doesn't pay. Honesty is the best policy.

Follow me.

Right wheel!

Kimberly Road. Plenty quick.

Oh Captain.

One moment, sir. Captain.

Sorry to intrude on your freedom, Captain.

But I have instructions to order all ranks to report to the base immediately.

National emergency.

But I'm not a member of the Hong Kong garrison, Major.

The orders include all members of His Majesty's land forces.

If you will accompany me.

Very good, sir.

Follow that car.

Yes, Missy.

Requisition every means of transport and let me know the numbers obtained.

Three more officers, sir.

Your name and regiment, sir?

Briggs. 2nd Battalion, Wessex Regiment, sir.

In charge of convalescent details from Shanghai.

And you, sir?

Robertson. 1st Rutlands. In charge of time-expired men from Tientsin.

Well, sir?

Houston. Royal Southland Fusiliers on special duty from Singapore.

You gentlemen are mistaken. You're under my command along with my own officers.

Sorry to draft your services but a situation of severe gravity has arisen.

The fact is the Japanese have landed on the peninsula.

It is necessary we evacuate our citizens from the entire Kwang Tung province.

Or they will be caught in the crossfire between the Chinese and Japanese.

I suppose that means General you want me to proceed to Canton with my regiment?

It means each one of you to proceed with your commands to your assigned points.

Colonel, I believe you are under strength.

Take Captain Briggs here with you. - Yes, sir.

Captain Robertson, report to Brigade Major.

You will be in charge of the evacuation from Zhu Chen.

Yes, sir.

Captain Houston. Report to the same officer.

You will take a detachment to Chang Lin.

Very good, sir.

Commence all preparations in order to be ready to depart at a moment's notice.

All ranks confined to barracks.

That will be all, gentlemen.

Excuse me, sir. - Well, sir?

The fact is, I was practically kidnapped, sir.

I was wondering if you could grant me a few hours leave since ..

I may be away some time and ..

I've some pressing private affairs.

Didn't you hear me say all ranks confined to barracks?

Report to Brigade Major, sir.

Very good, sir.

No-one allowed to leave barracks. Begging your pardon, sir. Orders.

That's alright, sentry. I was just going to the pillar box to post a letter.

You will find the regimental post box by the main gate.

I beg your pardon, sir.

Are you Captain Houston? I've been looking everywhere for you sir.

Your wife would like to see you, sir. - My wife?

Oh yes, yes. My wife.

Where is she? - At the main gate, sir.

I understand my wife Mrs Houston is waiting here to see me.

Yes, sir. She's just outside the gate, sir.

Ask her to come in, please. - Sorry, sir.

All ranks confined to barracks. Nobody to enter except on official business.

General's orders, sir.

In that case I'll just step outside. I won't be a minute.

Sorry, sir.

But if you would step over there you can talk to her through the railings.

Thank you.

How'd you find me?

I panned you. I saw them pick you up. What was the idea?

Military emergency.

All officers are ordered on special duty.

I go to Chang Lin.

You are not going, are you?

It might not be a bad idea.

I see.

I hope these bars aren't symbolic, darling.

How do I look, at home?

Oh, at home everything is fine.

The baby is getting a new tooth.

Oh, is that so?

Here is something that Woo Tau Woo sent for little Arthur to cut that tooth on.

Listen. You can get to Chang Lin ahead of me if you move fast.

I'll make it. Where is it? - Up in the hills.

The flat feet of Cressney's won't be able to follow.

What do I do when I arrive?

Have a car ready for a getaway, some clothes for me and a map of the road.

And remember, you are still Mrs Houston.

So little Arthur wants a baby brother, does he?

Yes. And I think he is right.

Darling. You are sure you will be safe?

I never have been. What's it like?

How should I know? Goodbye, dear. - Goodbye.

Captain Houston, sir. Reporting for duty.

You're taking a detachment to Chang Lin.

Some important Chinese officials have taken refuge there.

And the Japanese are demanding that we surrender them.

Our orders are not to do so.

And you will evacuate them together with the white residents.

Good, sir.

Report to the quartermaster for your field kit and march off in two hours.

Yes, sir.

Detachment, about turn!

Quick march!

We have made wonderful time, sir.

Yes.

You like soldiering, don't you.

Yes, sir. More fun than rugby or cricket.

Yes. And you'll make a good job of it too. I've been watching you.

I know you will be able to handle this evacuation.

I don't understand, sir.

This is very confidential, but ..

In a few minutes I shall disappear.

I have a secret duty to perform.

Isn't that risky sir, alone?

Well, I won't exactly be alone.

It is something pretty urgent I imagine, sir?

Extremely.

Keep this sunder your hat but from here on this is your show.

Handle it efficiently and I wouldn't be surprised if you get a promotion.

Thank you, sir.

Don't mention it.

We are very relieved to see you, sir.

I am Father Wingate of the Chang Lin mission.

Captain Houston at your service, Father.

We can't waste time. These people have a long trip ahead.

Round them up and prepare to leave. - Very good, sir.

How many evacuees for transporting, Father?

All the Europeans, sir.

And about a hundred and thirty Chinese.

Including the women and children. - Yes.

If you take them to the column Father my adjutant will allot them to the cars.

Yes indeed. Come along.

Follow me everybody.

Follow me.

Am I glad to see you.

Let's mark that up double.

I got in last night on the rims. Managed to get tires this morning.

Where's the car? - Around the corner.

The coolie chauffeur speaks English just about as well as I speak Chinese.

Wait until you see the clothes I got you. Hand-me-downs from a missionary.

A nice idea.

A missionary and his wife who have lost everything including their passports.

Maybe we can hit the jackpot with that one.

Japs.

I didn't know there was a Japanese within a hundred miles.

If there is any trouble get in one of those lorries.

If you please sir, I'd like a word with you.

The Japanese flatly refuse to allow us to evacuate any Chinese.

A ticklish situation internationally, if you know what I mean, sir.

Captain Houston in command of the British evacuation detachment.

[ Japanese language ]

In the name of The Emperor.

I claim the occupation of this town by the Japanese imperial forces.

That is fine. You are welcome to the town.

All I want is the people.

No civilians will be allowed to leave.

Many are spies and must be punished.

They sound like policemen, don't they.

I hate cops.

My orders are to evacuate all our nationals ..

And any Chinese who claims the protection of His Majesty's forces.

There are strong Japanese forces ..

Marching on this town from two directions.

I allow you British ..

One hour to leave.

That is very kind of you.

But I am leaving right now.

And I am taking all these people with me.

Get them to fall in.

Detachment, fix bayonets!

Magazines, load!

Bugler, sound the advance.

Your lorries are in our way. We are coming through.

Detachment, quick march!

Detachment, halt!

It looks like we get the pot without showing our cards.

Detachment, left turn!

Right wheel, quick march!

They're shadow boxing again.

Take charge of the column from the second lorry.

Let's call their bluff.

Take it slowly and head straight for them.

They mean it this time.

But travel quick.

Open her up and jump for it. - Yes sir.

Hand me those hand grenades.

It's suicide to expose yourself, sir.

It's slaughter if I don't.

Sound advance!

Stretcher bearer, stretcher bearer.

This time .. together .. heave.

Come in.

Your wife to see you, Captain Houston.

Good morning, darling. - Well, good morning.

Hey, you're looking pretty sharp today. - You too.

I have a new order for you today, Captain.

The Major says you are to go out in the grounds for a little airing.

He does, huh?

I think I would rather wait until after dark when it is cooler.

The Major says sometimes he knows best.

But you had better take care. Six weeks in bed is enough to make anyone shaky.

You needn't bother about my clothes, Mrs Ames.

My wife can valet me. Can't you?

I can try.

Ring if you need me, Mrs Houston. - Thank you, I will.

This looks like the take-off, Anya.

Once we step out in the open we must keep going.

You arranged a car in a hurry? - Yes, I have.

What about the bankroll, and the baby? - I have them.

We'll head straight for Cheng Chow and the boat to McCarthy.

How much of Woo Tau Woo's bankroll is left?

About twenty-five hundred.

That'll take us a long way towards the next deal.

Any things you need in the women's quarters? Step on it.

No, no. I am ready.

I'll make this fast.

[ Door knocks ]

Come in.

Good morning, Mrs Houston. - Good morning, doctor.

How about our cripple? - Good morning, Major.

Thank you, honey.

So you have decided I am well?

It won't be long now at any rate.

What is going on down there, Major?

You'd better hurry into your things Houston, and go down and see.

What is this?

I've been sent up here to prepare you.

They are getting ready to give you the Victoria Cross.

What? - The Victoria Cross.

General Allen proposed it right after the evacuation of Chang Lin.

I'll be standing by with smelling salts if you should feel faint.

The Victoria Cross?

That meant an investigation by the War Office.

They have found out there is no Captain Houston.

Maybe they are giving it to the uniform.

They can't know who we are though or the police would have been here.

Just the same, we should have gotten out days ago when I first wanted to.

You weren't well enough then, Gerald. - There's cameras there. Likely police.

We've got to make a break for it, Anya.

Gerald, do you realize what this means?

What are you talking about? - The Victoria Cross.

The highest honour England has to give and they are giving it to you.

What do you want to do? Go got jail for a silly-looking piece of copper?

Come on. Let's get out of here.

The General's compliments, sir. May we escort you to the parade ground?

I'll see you downstairs as soon as it is over.

Have a car ready. We will go for a ride.

Alright, Gerry.

Rejoin units.

Officers.

Non-commissioned officers and men of the garrison.

It is my pleasant duty to assemble you here today.

To honour the leader of the recent action at Chang Lin.

And by doing so to honour ..

All mankind in whom lies the seed of magnificent courage.

And sacrifice for an ideal.

Your comrades know of the exploits that earned you the highest of citations.

Some of them are not here today to share in this ceremony.

Others more fortunate, will be able to read about it in the hospital.

Where they lie wounded.

But your exploits at Chang Lin will become part of British legend.

An inspiration for the soldiers of the empire for all time to come.

It has pleased His Majesty.

To graciously bestow upon an officer of the Southland fusiliers.

The supreme award for magnificent courage.

The Victoria Cross.

Captain Houston V.C. I have the honour to salute you.

Three cheers for Captain Houston.

Hip-hip. - Hooray!

Hip-hip. - Hooray!

Hip-hip. - Hooray!

Hello, Meldrick.

It looks like you've been built up for a bit of a let-down, doesn't it.

Where's Anya?

No need to worry about her. She is waiting for you.

Come on.

How did you find out I was Meldrick?

I told him, Gerald.

When the War Office reported on Captain Houston.

I sent for .. for Mrs Houston.

And read her what they said.

They didn't know who you were, Meldrick.

The Victoria Cross isn't given to names.

It is given for deeds.

She begged me not to turn you over to Scotland Yard until you had received it.

So you turned me in, huh?

I felt it was the real Gerald Meldrick.

That won that cross at Chang Lin.

I wanted him to have it.

Where did you think it would get me to wear the Victoria Cross?

In jail?

Well Meldrick, we'd best be off.

Not while in uniform, Inspector.

Goodbye. And thank you. - Good luck.

Goodbye, Meldrick.

Goodbye, General.

Thanks for the double-cross.

So Meldrick, I did a lot of sightseeing as the general kept you on ice for me.

I could have told you how he would take it Baroness, but I didn't.

I didn't want to spoil love's young dream.

The police car is just outside.

Eyes right!

Sergeant.

Parade halt!

Yes, sir?

Arrest this man.

Make the arrest.

Just a minute, here.

I am Inspector Cressney of Scotland Yard.

Put him under guard. I will make the complaint when I return.

Very good, sir. - This man is a notorious thief.

Pay no attention to his ravings.

Let me tell you my fine feathered friend.

Honesty is the best policy.

Crime doesn't pay.

Take him to the guardroom. - Come along.

You'll be held responsible if he gets away.

I demand to see General Allen.

I stand on my rights as an officer of the law.

You can't do this.

Any further orders, sir?

That's all, Sergeant.

Parade.

Quick march!

Coming along? - Where to?

Why I have .. I have got a job to do.

You had better hurry.

Don't think I am going to take the blame for this, general.

I could have had him safely handcuffed except for army regulations.

Army regulations.

Scotland Yard understands our procedures, Inspector.

You ought to find yourself a better alibi.

Hello. It's headquarters, Inspector.

Hello. This is Cressney. Block all roads leaving the city.

Meldrick and that Van Duren woman have escaped.

Yes, again. 0nly this time he is in a uniform.

A Captain's uniform.

You'll hear more on this when I report the matter to the authorities in London.

And you will see it in print tonight.

That the army has been pampering criminals.

I will turn this story in to the papers.

Even if it costs me my job.

I beg your pardon. - Don't mention it, Mr Cressney.

Where have you been?

Talking things over Inspector while they kept you here on ice for me.

I could have run out on you, sweetheart.

But I couldn't run out on her.

And you can book us Mr and Mrs Meldrick.

We are going to be married. - Married?

Would you like to take care of our baby?

Baby? - Yes.

The hottest baby in the whole world.

With love and kisses to the Duchess.

Congratulations, Meldrick.

Thank you, sir.

And General, would you mind keeping this for me until I come back?

To enlist.

Gerald.

I would give up the Star of Asia for this any day.

Yeah.

That's what we think too.

-(s-d)-