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1
00:00:10,744 --> 00:00:14,014
Oh, my hallway‐walking God!
2
00:00:14,081 --> 00:00:16,416
I've seen my fair share
of workplace atrocities,
3
00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:18,952
but this one's gonna be hard
not to whistle‐blow.
4
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,854
Uh, Carlson,
how about you forget
5
00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:23,991
any unkillable
irradiated airborne entities
6
00:00:24,057 --> 00:00:25,592
you think you saw
7
00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:28,128
and sign
this nondisclosure agreement?
8
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:31,965
I'm sorry, I have no choice
but to speak up and say...
9
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,800
what's in it for me?
10
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:36,203
Guess who just got
two VIP concert tickets
11
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:38,338
to see Bob Seger tonight!
12
00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:39,873
Bob Seger!
13
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:41,875
Which Bullet Band
is he bringing?
14
00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:43,143
Silver!
15
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:46,280
In that case,
I'm closin' shop early.
16
00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:52,185
Marge, you know how nothing
ever happens to me?
17
00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:55,222
Well, the curse has been lifted!
18
00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:57,558
Oh. I love how excited you are
19
00:00:57,624 --> 00:01:00,060
to chaperone
the kids' weekend sleepover
20
00:01:00,127 --> 00:01:02,262
on the World War II battleship.
21
00:01:02,329 --> 00:01:04,164
What?! Chaperoning?
22
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,967
You can't just spring this on me
at the last...
23
00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:12,306
D'oh!
24
00:01:12,372 --> 00:01:14,508
Aw, you've got to fill in
for me, Marge.
25
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:17,077
I'd do it for you
if you were the husband.
26
00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:18,845
You always get to do
the fun thing
27
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,581
and leave me holding the bag.
28
00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:22,625
I'll get you a new bag.
A tote from the merch table.
29
00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:24,151
What size are you?
30
00:01:24,217 --> 00:01:29,089
No. I'm watching the Gen Gala
red‐carpet arrivals tomorrow.
31
00:01:29,156 --> 00:01:31,625
Can't you just record it
and watch it next week
32
00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:34,328
when me and Lenny are
at the Hall & Oates concert?
33
00:01:34,394 --> 00:01:36,863
Oh! I'm hosting the watch party.
34
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:41,335
I have firm commitments
from several A‐level gays.
35
00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:42,869
We're all gonna make
snarky comments
36
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,806
about celebrities'
outrageous outfits.
37
00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:49,343
I'm working up the courage
to use the B‐word on a man.
38
00:01:49,409 --> 00:01:51,311
Okay, honey, I give up.
39
00:01:51,378 --> 00:01:53,113
You host your party.
I go to the concert.
40
00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:55,115
No field trip for the kids.
41
00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:57,284
It was your decision,
so I'll let you tell them.
42
00:01:57,351 --> 00:01:59,286
♪ Yo‐ho, yo‐ho ♪
43
00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:01,989
♪ A field trip life for me. ♪
44
00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:09,262
- Whoa!
- Whoa.
45
00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:10,764
Mommy! Mommy!
46
00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:14,267
I took a bite of my juice box
because I forgot!
47
00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:16,136
Ready about, sailors!
48
00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:18,672
Name's Captain Bowditch.
49
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:21,008
For the next 36 hours,
you will be my crew
50
00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:24,344
aboard the USS ship with a name
we're not allowed to say anymore
51
00:02:24,411 --> 00:02:26,179
and with good reason.
52
00:02:26,246 --> 00:02:29,349
Now, the year is 1943.
53
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:32,853
We sailors have fought many
battles in the Pacific theater,
54
00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:35,789
but today we face
55
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:37,424
oxidation.
56
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,761
Kill those lousy Oxies!
57
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:44,665
Rust has overtaken the vessel,
and I'm giving you three tools
58
00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:47,968
wire brushes, marine paint,
59
00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:49,803
and the remainder
of the weekend.
60
00:02:51,238 --> 00:02:54,708
Chaperones, you will stand watch
in six‐hour shifts.
61
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:56,543
Now, pair up!
62
00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:59,880
Can you imagine getting stuck
with Sarah Wiggum
63
00:02:59,946 --> 00:03:01,148
for the whole weekend?
64
00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:03,784
What's she looking for,
a personality?
65
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:09,589
So, I guess we should figure out
some system to pair up, like...
66
00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:10,957
Oh.
67
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,497
Hey, Sarah, we've met before.
68
00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:19,633
I'm Bart's mom, Marge.
69
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,468
Hi.
70
00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:27,841
So, overnight field trips‐‐
the things we do for our kids.
71
00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:31,344
Kids.
72
00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:32,612
So...
73
00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:35,248
have you ever been
on a battleship before?
74
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,218
Probably.
75
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:44,958
We're so close,
we can read the labels
76
00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:47,294
on the drummer's medications.
77
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:48,962
Hey, I have that, too.
78
00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:52,199
Mild depression rules!
79
00:03:52,265 --> 00:03:54,167
Eh, nice seats, huh, fellas?
80
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,937
Yeah, Mr. Burns' payoffs
are always the best.
81
00:03:57,003 --> 00:04:00,040
Luckily, I was able to get
my wife to take over chaperoning
82
00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:03,777
some stupid battleship weekend
with Ralphie.
83
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,779
Hey, I saddled my wife
with that, too.
84
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,748
Marge and Sarah
were okay with that?
85
00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,483
Ah, they'll be fine.
86
00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:12,419
Wives, they love
that World War II stuff.
87
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:14,488
Yeah, they're always gifting
their husbands
88
00:04:14,554 --> 00:04:16,490
books and movies about it,
89
00:04:16,556 --> 00:04:19,826
but you know they're really
buying it them for themselves.
90
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:21,294
Hmm.
91
00:04:21,361 --> 00:04:23,830
And number ten would be...
92
00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:27,300
oh, "telling a funny story."
93
00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:30,670
What are your top ten ways
of starting a conversation?
94
00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:32,239
Talking.
95
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:36,076
I guess we should get back
to the kids.
96
00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:37,511
They're asleep.
97
00:04:37,577 --> 00:04:38,879
What?
98
00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:44,818
Almost midnight?
How did it get so late?
99
00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:49,089
Oh. It's only 8:50?
100
00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:55,362
Wait. Did you move
the clock ahead
101
00:04:55,428 --> 00:04:58,198
to trick the kids
into going to sleep early?
102
00:04:58,265 --> 00:05:00,467
Sarah, I'm impressed.
103
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:01,935
Ooh.
104
00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:05,138
A bottle of pocket alcohol.
105
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,607
Ah...
106
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:10,143
Dang, this is the last place
on earth I want to be.
107
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:14,981
No offense, Marge, but, geez,
this field trip sucks!
108
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:18,752
You said all those words!
109
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,320
I'm just quiet.
110
00:05:20,387 --> 00:05:22,989
Even though everyone thinks
I'm an idiot.
111
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:25,158
No, no, we don't think
you're an idiot.
112
00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:27,160
We just think you're boring.
113
00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:29,162
Oops.
114
00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:33,300
Did you bring this from home?
115
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:36,803
Actually, I got it from Admiral
Dingdong's liquor cabinet.
116
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:40,006
- It wasn't locked?
- Oh, maybe it was.
117
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:42,108
Uh, wink.
118
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,810
Ooh.
119
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,912
I've never done a swig.
120
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,014
Whoa!
121
00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:54,154
Oh, Sarah Wiggum, who are you?
122
00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:58,091
I love Clancy, but you have
no idea what it's like
123
00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,861
to be married to a man
with a dangerous job
124
00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:03,296
he's just not good at.
125
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,531
Actually...
126
00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:06,533
And with the way he eats,
127
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,535
each crust
he sucks the cheese out of
128
00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:10,403
could be his last.
129
00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:12,539
Maybe I do understand.
130
00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:16,476
It just takes so much work
to be a mom and a wife
131
00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,812
and keep the goods
in a tight little package,
132
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,280
if you catch my drift.
133
00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:22,249
Sometimes it feels like he...
134
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:23,617
Takes me for granted!
135
00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:26,620
Why do his last‐minute man‐plans
have to ruin
136
00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:29,789
the one day of the year
where I get to be catty?
137
00:06:29,856 --> 00:06:31,291
Hell yeah, sister.
138
00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:33,627
Well, you know what?
You and me,
139
00:06:33,693 --> 00:06:36,796
we're like two fun peas
in a party pod.
140
00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:38,965
We should do more hangouts.
141
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:42,969
Oh, I'd like that, but there's
a reason I keep to myself.
142
00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:44,137
Ooh.
143
00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:46,239
Secret reasons.
144
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:49,409
Oh, no.
145
00:06:49,476 --> 00:06:51,344
What are you doing here?
146
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,580
How did you find me?
147
00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:54,781
Sarah!
148
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,383
Marge!
149
00:07:02,555 --> 00:07:04,691
Please take this bag
off my head.
150
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:05,926
I think whoever you kidnapped
151
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:08,428
before me was a smoker. Ugh!
152
00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:11,431
Why did you bring her into it?
153
00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:13,400
She's just
some vanilla soccer mom.
154
00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:15,101
She doesn't know anything.
155
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:18,638
Hey, once I start bagging heads,
I can't stop.
156
00:07:19,839 --> 00:07:21,541
Hey, there, Sarah.
I see you're hanging
157
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,209
with the Yankee Candle crowd.
158
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,445
Wait. Y‐You know these people?
159
00:07:25,512 --> 00:07:27,614
Marge, meet Bette and Erin.
160
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:29,783
They're my old partners.
161
00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:32,786
In a throuple?
Who are the original two?
162
00:07:32,852 --> 00:07:34,454
Partners in crime.
163
00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:36,723
You're a criminal?
164
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,625
Jeebus Crackers!
165
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:41,795
Hi, Mr. Seger.
166
00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:43,430
Boy, you probably
don't remember this,
167
00:07:43,496 --> 00:07:45,298
but I saw you
at an airport once,
168
00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:47,634
and I was too nervous
to say anything,
169
00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:49,602
and then it wasn't you.
170
00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:51,638
We love you, man!
We promised our wives
171
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:54,074
we'd go on some
dumb school field trip,
172
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:57,544
but when we got these tickets,
we ditched them so fast.
173
00:07:58,545 --> 00:07:59,980
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
174
00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:02,215
You broke a promise
to your wives?
175
00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:05,085
A good husband's supposed to be
"Like a Rock."
176
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,620
Because we're all running
"Against the Wind."
177
00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:09,622
Terrible "Night Moves."
178
00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:10,890
Look at this.
179
00:08:10,957 --> 00:08:12,459
Those aren't tour dates.
180
00:08:12,525 --> 00:08:15,628
They're all the times I've
kept commitments to my wife.
181
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,265
"Rock and Roll Never Forgets"
182
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:22,268
the needs
of his coequal life companion.
183
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,571
You sicken me.
184
00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:27,440
Were... were we
just Seger‐shamed?
185
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,943
Why, the real silver bullet
is truth.
186
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,778
We're terrible husbands.
187
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:34,414
I never should have left Marge
holding the bag.
188
00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:37,117
We've got to go make it up
to Bob Seger.
189
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,319
And our wives.
190
00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:42,489
Sarah, you were a crook?
191
00:08:42,555 --> 00:08:44,758
Everything I never knew
or cared to wonder about you
192
00:08:44,824 --> 00:08:46,760
has been a lie.
193
00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:49,462
We weren't crooks.
We were thieves.
194
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,973
♪ A few times
I've been around that track ♪
195
00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:53,800
Sexy, girlie thieves.
196
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:56,970
♪ I ain't no hollaback girl,
I ain't no hollaback... ♪
197
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,139
They never saw us coming,
198
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:01,241
but they loved
to watch us walk away.
199
00:09:01,307 --> 00:09:03,710
There's nothing
we wouldn't lift.
200
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,111
Wallets. Watches.
201
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:08,415
MP3 players that held
over a hundred songs.
202
00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:10,250
Man, it was a blast.
203
00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:14,921
Our biggest jobs were brought
to us by a gal named Red.
204
00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:18,525
She got a line
on some unsupervised diamonds
205
00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:20,860
in a penthouse safe.
206
00:09:20,927 --> 00:09:23,363
I was the driver,
and as always...
207
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,765
the honeypot.
208
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:32,605
Ooh. Ow.
209
00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:33,873
Hey there, blue boy.
210
00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:36,443
I was walking
past your big building
211
00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:38,578
and seemed
to have sprained my ankle
212
00:09:38,645 --> 00:09:40,647
because of my high flops.
213
00:09:40,713 --> 00:09:42,282
Do you happen to have...
214
00:09:42,348 --> 00:09:44,284
- What, a girlfriend?
- ...an icepack?
215
00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:46,820
I'm sorry. I'm s...
216
00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:48,321
Of course, of course I do.
217
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:50,723
Uh, this is just my night job,
by the way.
218
00:09:50,790 --> 00:09:53,626
I'm, uh, putting myself through
the police academy. Yeah.
219
00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:56,663
- Isn't that free?
- Well, the first time, yeah.
220
00:09:56,729 --> 00:09:59,766
I love a man
in a rented uniform.
221
00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:10,310
The kiss was part of the plan.
222
00:10:10,376 --> 00:10:13,246
But falling
head over high flops wasn't.
223
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,248
Clancy...
224
00:10:17,717 --> 00:10:20,286
- Oh, no.
- No, no, don't leave.
225
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:22,655
Come back to pile.
226
00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:24,157
Uh, I gotta go, blue boy.
227
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:26,626
- I'm sorry.
- Ah, no problem.
228
00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:29,662
- Oh, um, will you marry me?
- Probably!
229
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:32,832
I was supposed to be
the getaway driver.
230
00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:34,767
My best friends were arrested.
231
00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:36,503
And it was all my fault.
232
00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:38,505
Oh, cool your jets.
233
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:40,173
Yeah, hot jets.
234
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,709
It wasn't your fault
we got busted.
235
00:10:42,775 --> 00:10:45,011
We were set up...
236
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:46,779
by Red.
237
00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:53,887
She got away
with our whole take,
238
00:10:53,953 --> 00:10:55,989
including the Hourglass Diamond.
239
00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:58,525
That backstabbing sack of Spanx.
240
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:01,461
Wait, so it wasn't my fault
you got caught.
241
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:05,131
Yeah, and if you hadn't gone all
horndog on that rent‐a‐cop,
242
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:06,833
you'd have been locked up, too.
243
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,268
We found Red.
244
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,937
She goes by the name
Lindsey Naegle now.
245
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,805
I've heard of her.
246
00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:16,142
She works in various female
executive positions around town.
247
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:19,312
We've got a plan to steal
that diamond back from her,
248
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,414
and you're gonna help us.
249
00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:23,783
No, I left that life behind me.
250
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,318
I have a husband now,
251
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:28,321
and a son who's smart in a way
we haven't figured out yet.
252
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:31,758
Well, it'd be a real shame
if the Chief of Police
253
00:11:31,824 --> 00:11:34,093
found out his wife was
a common criminal.
254
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,496
You never told Clancy?
255
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:38,498
Let's just say
he's always been better
256
00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:40,800
at planting evidence
than finding it.
257
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:44,003
Why don't I just call him now
and tell him everything?
258
00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:46,906
I'm in.
259
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:50,843
Our wives are missing?
260
00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:52,545
Not unheard of.
261
00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:54,881
Most women have such
an idealized version
262
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:57,150
of the Second World War
in their heads
263
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,219
that when they meet
the cold, hard reality,
264
00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:00,553
they can't face it.
265
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:02,088
Did you see what happened?
266
00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:04,090
There was but one witness.
267
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:07,493
Junior Seaman Ralph,
give your account of the watch.
268
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:11,664
The mommies got new face hats,
then got into a slidey‐door car.
269
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,600
Don't worry, I speak Ralph.
270
00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:16,302
Face hats?
Slidey‐door?
271
00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:18,137
God, they were kidnapped!
272
00:12:18,204 --> 00:12:21,474
‐
‐And there's only one man
bold enough
273
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:24,244
to kidnap the wives
of the chief of police
274
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:26,512
and his slightly slimmer
acquaintance.
275
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,348
Sarah was kidnapped?
276
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:31,351
Oh, spare me the act.
We know it was you.
277
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,486
I spare, I swear.
278
00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:36,155
I need your family
to be happy and healthy,
279
00:12:36,222 --> 00:12:39,125
because who else would I say
it would be a shame
280
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:41,761
if something were to happen to?
281
00:12:41,828 --> 00:12:44,597
Okay, but what about
one of your cronies?
282
00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:47,300
I assure you,
you are a beloved figure
283
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,502
amongst my business brethren.
284
00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:51,271
Mm.
285
00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:55,141
You look a lot like
that guy Chief Bungles.
286
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:58,511
But there's no other reason
to kidnap Sarah.
287
00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:00,380
She's just
my little schmoop‐a‐doop,
288
00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,282
and that's all there is to her.
289
00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:04,951
Apparently not.
290
00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:07,453
Perhaps your wives
were not kidnapped.
291
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:11,124
Perhaps they left
because you are selfish men.
292
00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:13,393
That's the only explanation.
293
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:16,129
It was all about us.
294
00:13:16,195 --> 00:13:18,131
All right, what's the job?
295
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,267
Naegle sold the jewels
she ripped off from us
296
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,303
and became a fancy socialite.
297
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:24,847
She kept the biggest rock
for herself.
298
00:13:24,871 --> 00:13:28,508
The Hourglass Diamond‐‐
it's in her tiara.
299
00:13:29,842 --> 00:13:32,078
And we're gonna steal it back
300
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,747
when she wears it
to the Gen Gala, tomorrow.
301
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:38,518
You're gonna rob the Gen Gala?
302
00:13:38,584 --> 00:13:41,688
Sorry, sorry. Scheme away.
303
00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:45,024
Okay,
here's how it's gonna work.
304
00:13:45,091 --> 00:13:47,660
First, we come up
through this manhole.
305
00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:48,961
Nope!
306
00:13:49,028 --> 00:13:50,463
Excuse you?
307
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:52,832
Look, I may not know anything
about heists,
308
00:13:52,899 --> 00:13:56,669
but I am the world's biggest
superfan of the Gen Gala,
309
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:58,304
and your plan won't work.
310
00:13:58,371 --> 00:13:59,305
And why not?
311
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,441
If you did any research,
312
00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:03,910
you'd know Beyoncé's
going to be carried in
313
00:14:03,976 --> 00:14:06,412
by 20 plus‐size gladiators,
314
00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:08,448
who will form a human pyramid
315
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,316
right on top of your way in.
316
00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:11,584
No heist.
317
00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:12,952
If you're so Kmart smart,
318
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,454
how would you get in?
319
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,623
Well, these entrances
will be blocked by fans,
320
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,792
press and authorized stalkers.
321
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,962
The best plan would be
to put on a crazy dress
322
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,098
and sneak in
through the red carpet.
323
00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:28,234
Although, you wouldn't get
far without a publicist
324
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:30,169
who knows everything
about the gala.
325
00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:33,606
- Someone like you?
- Yeah.
326
00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:37,110
This vanilla soccer mom
could be our secret weapon.
327
00:14:37,176 --> 00:14:39,112
Me? Join the robbery?
328
00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:40,980
No way!
329
00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:44,117
Stealing is one of
the big "thou shalt nots."
330
00:14:44,183 --> 00:14:45,651
It's not about the cash.
331
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,286
It's about setting things right.
332
00:14:47,353 --> 00:14:50,490
Lindsey Naegle betrayed us
for money and fame,
333
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:53,860
and all we got
are bad prison tattoos.
334
00:14:53,926 --> 00:14:56,095
Aw, duckies!
335
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:57,830
Marge, aren't you tired
336
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,099
of being underestimated
and overlooked?
337
00:15:00,166 --> 00:15:01,968
Together, we can right a wrong
338
00:15:02,034 --> 00:15:04,103
and look damn good doing it.
339
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:06,606
I've always wanted
to say this...
340
00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:09,075
I'm in.
341
00:15:16,682 --> 00:15:18,651
This is Kent Brockman outside
342
00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:19,995
the Museum of Generational
Wealth for the annual Gen Gala.
343
00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:21,454
This year's theme is
"The Audacity."
344
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,956
A bold contrast
345
00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:25,458
"The Nerve."
346
00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:27,093
But I'm stuck out here,
347
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,662
where hundreds of nobodies
have gathered to watch
348
00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:32,732
dozens of somebodies
walk up some stairs.
349
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:34,467
Should we do this without Marge?
350
00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:36,803
This is her favorite
watching‐party of the year.
351
00:15:38,404 --> 00:15:41,274
Forget her.
I'm jonesing for snark.
352
00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:42,684
Oh, God, would you look
at that dress.
353
00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:45,478
Who is the designer,
the Great Pacific Garbage Patch?
354
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:48,247
- Probably?
- Ah...
355
00:15:48,314 --> 00:15:50,850
Ah, that's the good shade.
356
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:55,154
The plan's working.
We look amazing.
357
00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:57,423
Now, let's get those tickets.
358
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,410
The 55 stairs.
359
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:20,246
The Tanqueray
stiletto sharpener.
360
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,815
The Swarovski crystal
wheelchair ramp.
361
00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:24,717
‐ ‐Stop gawking.
362
00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,452
Where do we let
the other girls in?
363
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:29,255
Right over there, next to‐‐
Oh, my God!
364
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:30,957
Rihanna!
365
00:16:31,023 --> 00:16:34,494
I listen to the clean versions
of all your songs!
366
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:40,333
Now, let's see if there's
any honey left in this pot.
367
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,904
Excuse me, I seemed
to have a pulled a muscle.
368
00:16:44,971 --> 00:16:48,140
Do you have an ice pack
so that my leg can stop...
369
00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:50,243
- quivering?
-
370
00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:51,777
Right away, ma'am.
371
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,313
Oh‐ho, hot stuff.
372
00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:06,692
Ugh, no sign of our wives.
373
00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:08,761
We checked out all their
favorite places,
374
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:11,130
but turns out
we don't pay enough attention
375
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:12,431
to know what those are.
376
00:17:12,498 --> 00:17:14,200
So I don't know what we did.
377
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:17,270
It was my distinct pleasure
to watch your son.
378
00:17:17,336 --> 00:17:19,605
I find we are quite simpatico.
379
00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:23,175
Both of us know nothin'
about nothin'.
380
00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:25,611
Oh!
381
00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:28,047
Now that's a fluid gender!
382
00:17:28,114 --> 00:17:31,817
I wouldn't mind asking them
their preferred pronouns. Oh!
383
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,453
If I'm not mistaken,
384
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,790
that's how Marge looks
when she's happy.
385
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,292
And that's my Sarah!
386
00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:40,793
Come on, Homer.
387
00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:44,230
It looks like this
town's got a museum.
388
00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:52,638
There's Lindsey,
and she's wearing the tiara.
389
00:17:57,476 --> 00:17:59,178
Okay, don't be nervous.
390
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,547
- You can do this.
- Nervous?
391
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:04,684
This is the best field trip
of my fricking life!
392
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:09,255
Ms. Naegle,
can I just say, "that dress."
393
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:12,258
I know, right?
You go, girl.
394
00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:14,393
What setting would you even
wash that on?
395
00:18:14,460 --> 00:18:16,295
Delicate? Eco‐warm?
396
00:18:16,362 --> 00:18:19,465
I bet it would make so much
noise in the dryer, right?
397
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:23,803
Um, I don't want this
to sound harsh,
398
00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:26,405
but you're not famous,
so you don't exist.
399
00:18:26,472 --> 00:18:27,473
Bye now.
400
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:30,209
Darling,
stop talking to that empty chair
401
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:33,145
and come take a selfie
at the Fenty lip gloss fountain.
402
00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:41,153
Oh, it's a fake!
403
00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:44,123
I've been robbed!
404
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:46,993
Somebody stop
those two nobodies!
405
00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:48,127
Keep it cool.
406
00:18:48,194 --> 00:18:49,338
We just have to slip out of here
407
00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:50,796
without anyone noticing us.
408
00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:53,733
‐
409
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:56,535
WIGGUM Sarah Wiggum, freeze!
410
00:18:57,503 --> 00:19:01,340
We're here to give you ladies
the attention you deserve!
411
00:19:09,248 --> 00:19:11,751
Shh!
Now is not the time, Clancy.
412
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,919
No, no, when it comes to love,
413
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,389
it's always the time
for shouting!
414
00:19:16,455 --> 00:19:18,391
Sar‐ah Wig‐gum!
415
00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:20,426
Schmoop‐a‐doop!
416
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:23,429
Shmoop‐ba‐da‐doopa!
417
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:26,098
‐I love Sa‐‐ ‐Shut up!
418
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,034
Oh, God, ow.
419
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:31,437
- Sarah Wiggum, who are you?
- That's her!
420
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:32,838
She's the thief!
421
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,389
Babe, who is she?
422
00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:52,258
This is my new girlfriend.
423
00:19:52,324 --> 00:19:54,794
You were tumbling
for a long time.
424
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:56,562
Oh, you poor thing.
425
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:58,497
Here's your bag, sweetie.
426
00:19:58,564 --> 00:19:59,632
Oopsie!
427
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,133
Those aren't mine!
428
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,002
- My earrings!
- My blood diamond!
429
00:20:03,069 --> 00:20:04,804
My conflict tennis bracelet!
430
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:14,113
Oh, this time,
leave me holding the bag.
431
00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:15,981
Aw, thanks, Homie.
432
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,317
But they're part of
the ensemble.
433
00:20:22,254 --> 00:20:24,023
Chalamet looks like dirt.
434
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:26,325
BTS looks like seven dirts.
435
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:29,095
I see nerve there
but nothing audacious.
436
00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:32,198
Oh. My. God.
437
00:20:32,264 --> 00:20:33,699
Jeebus Crackers!
438
00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:35,000
That's Marge!
439
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:38,804
What the hell is she doing
at the Gen Gala?
440
00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:40,940
Exactly.
She looks like dirt.
441
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,477
It's what she would have wanted.
442
00:20:44,543 --> 00:20:46,521
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
443
00:20:46,545 --> 00:20:48,481
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
444
00:20:48,547 --> 00:20:51,450
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
445
00:20:57,356 --> 00:20:59,191
Oh, Clancy.
446
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:02,828
So, this whole time, I've been
married to a master criminal.
447
00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:04,797
Damn straight.
448
00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:10,636
Wait, wait, uh, where's Ralph?
449
00:21:12,071 --> 00:21:13,973
I must confess,
450
00:21:14,039 --> 00:21:15,775
I thought putting
crushed‐up Oreos
451
00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:18,477
into the cookies and cream
yogurt would be redundant.
452
00:21:18,544 --> 00:21:22,181
Instead, it is transcendent.
453
00:21:22,248 --> 00:21:25,251
I like to smoosh
the gummy bears.
454
00:21:25,317 --> 00:21:26,852
Hey, no touching!
455
00:21:26,919 --> 00:21:31,791
If the boy wants to smoosh,
the boy will smoosh.
456
00:21:31,857 --> 00:21:33,959
I love you, scary daddy.
457
00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:38,063
I love you too,
Ralphie "Stickie Hands."
458
00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:43,102
Shh!
31105
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