All language subtitles for The El Duce Tapes (2019)

Alright, alright, alright,
shut up!

Shut up!

Shut your goddamn mouth,

and let me make
a piece of my mind.

Alright!

Everybody
that likes to rape women,

say, "Sieg Heil!"

Sieg Heil!

What are we doing?

We...

Yeah!

What's up?

Huh?
I guess we're going home.

I'm trying to bring peace to this world.
I hope you guys are happy.

It's real stoked.

Peace! Love! Whatever...

- No it doesn't.
- It happens all the time.

It's good shit, man.

We are going to keep on

trying to strengthen
the American family

to make American families
a lot more like the Waltons

and a lot less like the Simpsons.

If you believe in free speech,

people have the right
to burn a cross,

people have a right
to burn the flag.

It's offending people, and it's
offending somebody's religion

or offending somebody's love
of country. What's the difference?

You offend people every day.
Should you go to jail?

♪ In the land of the free

♪ And the home of the brave ♪

I wanna take the president,

chop off his head, and mail it
to them in a garbage bag.

♪ Hinkley had a vision

♪ Hinkley had a vision... ♪

Jerry! Jerry!

- Jerry! Jerry!
- Thank you very much!

'And now, here he is,
the conservative voice of television,

'Wally George!'

Today we're gonna take a look
into the world of shock rock,

rock music that is violent, scary,
and even perverse.

We have one of the most
disgusting perverts

I've ever seen in my whole life
on the show here.

Here is El Duce.

Hold on!

Hey, hold it!

How do you describe your music?

Well, it's rape rock.

"Rape rock"?

You know, I wanna be polite
to anyone who comes on our show,

but I gotta say, when I hear
that you promote rape,

that is not only thoroughly disgusting,

but it can't possibly
be viewed as entertainment.

Well, it is to me.

Duce!

I have two sons, a sixteen-year-old
who's sitting in the audience now,

and a ten-year-old, and I try to teach
my sons how to be respectful,

and that sodomizing people...

Do you realize that
Sodom and Gomorrah in the Bible

was destroyed by God
because that was wrong?

Do you realize that?

I like music, but I do not like things
that promote violence against people.

Let me ask you something.
When were you raped?

I was raped in '70.

You look kind of familiar,
I have to say.

No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Sorry.

That's just...
That's just plain disrespectful.

- I mean, that's not...
- He doesn't know any better.

That's not a point of view.

Oh, Wally!

You shouldn't have the right
to be on any stage

or any radio station
in the United States of America.

And now, here they are: Gwar.

- Uh, you like Gwar, huh?
- Yes.

Is it OK that some of the message,
let's say, is violent?

- Would that be OK?
- Yes.

That's OK?

Well, um, obviously...

I think, yeah, ours is simulated.

And theirs is real!

- One time...
- When he's on the sauce!

When he's on the sauce!

One time, we had the misfortune
of taking El Duce...

Being on bus with him
is horrible.

From New York City...

The whole band, the whole band...

There's sixteen of us,
and all of them in our bus.

It was like...
no room at all to do anything.

We were taking him
from New York City to Richmond.

He had this punching balloon
like kids play with.

He kept whacking it.

First, he started spitting on it,
like, licking big loogies on it,

and then he'd go,
boogey-boogey-boogey...

so it splashed everywhere.

- Yeah.
- But then...

- But then...
- He peed on it.

And he was, like,
running around the bus,

going tk-uh-tk-uh-tk-uh...

into people's face
with this pee balloon.

He gets on stage,

pulls his pants down,

pulls his dick out, and starts
flopping it around and stuff,

and then some super sick
gross slut

runs out on stage
and starts sucking him off

in front of the whole audience.

- And...
- Gross!

Eurgh!

In front of the whole
fucking audience!

And the bouncers didn't do
a goddamn thing.

OK, this is because..

He's one of the weirdest guys
I know, man.

I like him.

I like him, because
he's always nice to me.

He always is nice to me,
but I really...

You know, it does bother me a little bit
the way he treats women.

Very early on, he started referring
to the band as "rape rock", which I...

If you asked me earlier,
was there anything,

any song or anything that really, uh...
I thought was going a little too far,

when he first came out with that,
I thought that was going a little too far.

Personally, I'm not in favor
of rape, you know,

I think it's hideous, and uh...

So, to that extent, I think
that's going a little too far,

but again,
that's his personal vision.

What kind of people
go to your gigs?

Uh, we get sort of a broad mix,
you know,

we get a lot of your kind
of nihilistic punkers

and some of your intellectuals.

What do you think
of your brother?

I think he's rocking.

Is he?

- He's a real man.
- Yeah.

El Duce, your brother,
is a real man?

- He's a real Aryan man.
- Yeah!

Yeah! Sieg Heil!

♪ Your daughter is my victim

♪ Yeah-eee-ay! ♪

So El Duce is, um...

Do El Duce's lyrics offend you?

No, not really.

The one song, "On The Rag",
kind of...

"When I'm On The Rag",
that bothers me.

But...

Do you think he is serious
about his lyrics,

or do you think he's kind
of just trying to have a laugh?

I think a little of both.

I don't know which more,
you know,

which one is more...

But...

Does he ever scare you?

No.

He's... you know,
he's pretty nice, you know...

for being a Mentor, you know.

Where do you think he gets
his ideas for lyrics?

Mm...

From, um...

what he's seen other people
cringe about.

Like a few...

He loves to see people cringe.

Even once or twice
I think they picketed,

feminist groups
have picketed the man.

Rape rock is not a joke!
Rape rock is not a joke!

What do you think of the demonstration
that's going on outside?

I think it's great.

'Ted Weatherhead,
CBC News, Winnipeg.'

You know, a lot of girls
trip out about it, but...

you know, they shouldn't
take that all so seriously.

Do you think it's clever?

Yeah.

Yeah, the way they come up
with these ideas.

It's pretty perverted,
but, you know...

It's really funny
that they think of these things.

I figure, you know,
El Duce is his own man.

He's, uh...
In his own way he's a genius

and a great comedian
and a great musician.

So I don't want to attempt

to put his point of view
through my filter.

You know, I'm content
to play my part with the music

and whatever he comes up with
in terms of his lyrics, uh...

You know, I'm a great El Duce fan,
just from being in the band,

it's great to watch him come up
with new lyrics and funny lines.

So I would consider myself

probably one of the greatest
connoisseurs of what he does,

and I'm able -
at least I think I am -

to recognize a good El Duce
performance from a bad one.

I think to a certain extent,
he's, like, a great artist

in that he doesn't really give
a damn what people think of him.

You know, if you look at a Van Gogh
or something like that,

these guys are so far out
in their own thing...

they're just doing what they're doing,
they're on autopilot.

And I think he's on autopilot.

He's not calculating anything
in minute details.

He's not saying, "I'm going to sing
this particular line

"cos I think this is going
to make the biggest impact."

I think he's going to do what he...
what comes naturally.

It's a legitimate expression
of his own psyche.

Um...

That's kind of a tough one,

I guess maybe "Free Fix For A Fuck"
is a big favorite of mine.

The lyrics that sort of pictorialized
abuse to women and all that

doesn't bother you?

Well, I like the "Straight Out Of Compton"
NWA tape, too.

I heard that and I ran down
and bought it.

It's talking about stuff
that is in some people's heads.

He'll bring it out. Like...

If El and them...

If they were just running around
raping chicks

that didn't want to be raped
and doing all this shit,

if NWA was out gangbanging,

I wouldn't be into their music.

But they're musicians,
they're not into that stuff at all.

You know, they're just talking
about a reflection

of part of the human condition.

And El has just... He has
such a humorous twist to it,

nobody could take it offensively.

Turn on the camera,
I'm ready to rock.

You better have that camera
on there, Ryan.

Is that right?

Does this light work?

Yeah.

Peaceful rape.

What's peaceful rape?

That's when you knock
a broad out on...

Thorazine...

maybe some, um...

'ludes.

So you don't believe in, uh...?

No, no, let me finish.

Then hypnotism.

Babe...

take your bra off.

Slut.

Peel your panties off.

Your clitoris here.

Lock them legs.

Uh! Uh! Mm...

Ah! Swallow it.

It's as easy as that.

Heil Hitler.

Mm!

Mm, mm, mm, mm,
mm, mm, mm, mm... Mm!

Mm!

Mm!

Have you always drank
for relaxation?

I've been an alcoholic all my life.

I stole my first beer from my dad.

- El Duce likes to drink a lot.
- Yeah.

He says he has
an alcohol problem.

Yeah, he's a full-on alcoholic.

El Duce when he's sober
is a really nice guy,

when he's drunk he's horrible.

That way I know
that only I can drink it.

Anybody who drinks it,
drinks my spit.

El Duce drinks a lot
when he's around you?

Yeah.

He probably drinks a lot
when he's not around you.

Yeah.

Is that a problem for you?

Sometimes when
he's Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

What do you think of El
as a human being?

Well, see, personally
I'm really fond of him, and...

I don't know,

part of it is because we worked
at the Ivar Theater together

for a long time,
we have memories...

you know, about all the shit
that went down there.

You also are the Master of Ceremonies

at one of the grimiest places
I know of in Hollywood,

the Ivar Theater,
which features naked dancers.

- You worked at the Ivar Theater?
- Yeah.

- Is that the best job you ever had?
- Yeah.

I worked there for about eight years,
I got to run the spot light,

and play the girls' cassette tapes,

and play the porno movies
and announce the girls,

all up in the light booth.

Yeah, he was the light man
at the Ivar.

Yeah.

So, he brought Steve by?

No, actually he wanted me
to go dance, do a show,

cos the chicks
he had doing his show...

were flaking out.

And I'd listened to his music,
I thought his music was really good,

but that wasn't my scene,
I wasn't into going.

But my girlfriend Zylmar says,

"Yeah let's go, let's go."
So I said, "OK."

And then when I started meeting
these other guys, you know.

Yes.

Yes. I'm a stripper at the Ivar Theater,
and I'm damn proud of it, too!

Right on, Duce!

Hey, all you sluts out there,

are you tired of hanging out
with a bunch of low-life glam rock fags?

Why don't you go for a real man,
a booze-guzzling, porno-reading man?

Just enter the Mentors
Dream Date Contest,

and you can win a good date
with me, El Duce.

Do what they're doing in these
dirty magazines with me, baby.

How long have you been
El Duce's girlfriend?

Um...

About six weeks.

So, how did you run into him?

The first time that I met him,
just hanging out in Hollywood,

just hanging out drinking, trashing.

Do you remember
the first time you met him?

Yeah. Yeah, I remember.
Saw him on the street.

It was him and a couple of his friends,
and I was the only girl there,

and they wanted to not hang out
in Hollywood drinking cos of the cops,

and they wanted to go
to this one place.

First I was up for it, and then
I started thinking, "This is El Duce.

"There's three guys
and just one of me."

And I just kind of blew them off.

I was like,
"I forgot I got something to do."

You know, I thought
something would happen.

- What did you hear about him?
- Oh, a lot of stories.

You know, El Duce stories,
his reputation.

- Like what?
- About...

About being a big pervert

and stuff he does to girls and stuff,
you know, cos this guy said,

"Oh, he'll piss all over you,
he'll rape you,"

this and that, you know,
and I was kind of scared of him.

Do a lot of girls come on
to El Duce at the concerts?

Enough do.

Yeah, I...

I think one is enough,
you know, too much.

- Duce say anything to 'em?
- Oh, yeah, he loves it.

Does he treat you nicely?

Yeah, he treats me pretty good.

How did you all get together
as Mentors?

Well, The Mentors
got together in Seattle,

and we've been childhood friends.

I've known El Duce
since we were in 4th grade.

We went to the same
elementary school together,

and then I met Sickie
when we were in 7th grade.

We're all the same age.

1976.

Right when the Sex Pistols
came out.

- Before.
- Before?

First of all, I can't believe
that El Duce is only 32, though.

How old are you going to be
this birthday?

- Same age as Jesus Christ.
- As they were nailing him down.

Hey, if he could be nailed,
I'll be nailed.

If Jesus could take it,
I can take it.

When did you start playing music?

When I was about seven years old.

And then I got really into the drums,

and I'd listen to records that
my mom and dad would play and stuff.

When my dad was drunk
and in a good mood,

trying to fuck my mom,

and they'd put on the Tijuana Brass
or whatever, you know,

and I'd listen to it, and I'd go like,
"Wow, man, I dig that drum sound."

He started the drums very early.

I think he started drum lessons
in 3rd or 4th grade,

and he had so much native talent

that he established himself very quickly
in the drumming classes.

The best student, essentially.

And I think
when he was in 6th grade,

he joined this All City Youth Orchestra,
you know,

which was like the crème de la crème

of all the musicians in Seattle,
you know, the child musicians.

So he played big concerts
at the Symphony Hall

with this youth orchestra.

Then he was later in drum corps,

which is a marching
kind of drum corps thing.

He was always very good at that,
he could read music very well,

and he knew his way around
the drums perfectly.

What really motivated me
was Jimmy Hendrix Experience.

I wanted to play drums
like Mitch Mitchell.

Then I got a hip to The Who,
and I wanted to play like Keith Moon.

And then I got
into jazz fusion music.

Then I wanted to play
like Billy Cobham.

And then as time marched by,

I just kind of combined all those styles
all into my own style.

He was into sort of funk
and jazz rock and stuff like that

which we were into, too,
like Mahavishnu Orchestra

and Chick Corea,
"Return to Forever",

and all that kind of fusion jazz rock
that was going on at the time.

If you all were into this kind
of advanced Jazz fusion type of music

that not many people were playing,
kids your age anyway,

how did you end up in sort
of the punk rock and metal areas?

Well, I guess in a way it was sort
of a conscious sell-out.

We were so into this fusion thing
and we tried to play fusion,

we worked up
a lot of these original songs

in the band before The Mentors,
The Eldon Hoke Band,

we played exclusively
instrumental fusion.

But there was just nowhere
to play it.

There was one club I remember

that they advertised that
they wanted that kind of stuff,

and we went in there
and tried to get a gig there.

They wouldn't let us play there,
it just was going nowhere,

so it was sort of
the kind of thing that we...

I guess you'd consider it
a conscious sell-out.

Well, see, no one really understood
our fusion music,

so I said, "We got to entertain
these clowns,

"so let's sing some dirty lyrics.

"Throw them in there."

So we went from jazz fusion...

to perversion,

and then we just broke it down
into easy rock

that they could understand.

- Punk rock.
- Yeah, punk rock.

The Dean of Students
at Roosevelt High school.

I used to cause a lot of vandalism,
cos I hated everybody.

I used to blow up toilets
with M-80s, and...

you know, write dirty drawings
all over the walls and shoplift.

I did everything, and set fires,
I did all kinds of shit.

Anything that raised hell,
I would do it.

You know, I used to urinate in jars

and pour them on the radiators
in the morning

because it was freezing cold
in Seattle,

like it was 40 degrees outside,
you're freezing cold.

You come into the school,
you want to warm up,

and here is a radiator
with urine smell pouring off of it.

I used to shit in foil
and stack it in the freezer

and I'd take it to school,
let it thaw out,

and then I'd smear it
all over the door knobs

of all the classrooms,
and vomit.

I did all kinds of sick shit.

I could go on for hours telling
you all the sick shit I did.

But I was just the number one
nuisance to the school.

So finally I'm in this language arts class,

and the teacher gets this call,

"Will you send El Duce
down to the Dean of Students?"

Oh, no!

Some dipshit finked me off.

So I go down there,

and sure enough these two idiots
that were working for me...

So I go in there,
acting all smooth and shit,

and I sit down,
the Dean of Students goes,

"Alright, El Duce...

"I have had reports that
you are the one behind everything.

- "You're the mentor."
- And I go, "What?"

He goes,
"You're the mentor behind it all."

I just drilled it in my head and I go,
"Mentor? What do you mean, mentor?"

And he goes, "Look it up
here in the dictionary."

And he throws the dictionary
and he goes, "See that?

"Read that to me."

And I go, "Mentor, the one
that everybody looks up to..."

"You are the one
who instructed all these guys

"to shit and piss and throw garbage
all over the school,

"because you are the mentor."

And he threw this big fit
about me being the mentor.

So I just said,
"Fuck, that's the name of the band,

"it's got to be The Mentors."

♪ Rockin' and a rollin'
all the way... ♪

Do you guys fight a lot
in the band?

Um, me and Steve don't,

but Sickie throws in the wrench
every time he can.

Boy, maybe you should
write down some questions.

Me and Sickie bicker
probably the worst.

What do you bicker about?

Little petty ass things,

the more pettier,
the more we bicker.

Do you fight about the music?

No, we fight about
whose beer is whose.

- No, I said Miller's Special.
- You owe me five bucks.

Why do I owe you five bucks?

Because I loaned you
the money to get it.

Wow, Miller's on sale.

Do you have a car?
Yeah, you came out in a car.

After the gig,

while Broy's waiting around
getting paid, we can trunk up,

so we just better get the six.

Miller in cans, I hate that shit.

You owe me five bucks.

How do I owe you five?

Because I paid for the fucking beer,
and you owe me two beers

and you wanted me
to loan you the money.

Broy owes you the money,
he couldn't pay you,

so I gave you five bucks
out of that.

Duh!

Just take five dollars' worth.

Yeah...

- I want my $5 back.
- That's the whole thing...

I loaned you five dollars
so he could get some beer.

- Right.
- Right, so you owe me 5 bucks.

No, you get your two beers.

No, you owe me five dollars.

I owe you five bucks
but if you want to get...

And two beers!

- Five dollars and two beers.
- It's not that hard to figure it out.

We've got this one clown,
Ed Danky, in our band

that's sort of in the band
and sort of not in the band.

I think Mr. Danky
has something to say.

We're over here,

and this is Sneaky Spermshooter
down here on the ground.

- Time to rock.
- It's time to rock?

We're ready to blow.

- Ready to blow?
- Yeah, heavy rock is coming up.

He doesn't believe
in the Four F club,

and, you know, it doesn't work.

How long have you known El Duce?

Oh, I've known the scumbag
about, oh, 10 grueling years.

In what capacity
have you worked with him?

I do a little background vocals
for them sometimes,

and I jam with the guys
all the time, and you know,

I guess I'm like the Billy Preston
of The Mentors.

I remember you at that bar
when you saw that.

I saw this, and I went apeshit.

A lot of the songs are sex oriented.
Were they back then?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, we kind of hit upon that
as a gimmick.

See, El Duce was...

The one thing he was known for

when we going to junior high was,

he was known as the guy
who had all the pornography.

His dad was a porno collector,

and his dad tried to hide
this porno from El Duce.

He had this little work room that
was all locked up in the basement,

but El Duce knew
how to pick the lock,

and he'd go down there while his
dad and mum were off at work,

and he'd have his buddies come over
and he'd show them all the porn,

and he'd give
some of the magazines away.

So, El Duce had a real reputation
as being sort of porn-meister.

And El Duce would do this drum solo
with these dildos he bought,

these, you know, like,
about 14-inch dildos

he bought down at the porno store,

and it was just a big gimmick thing,
you know, I guess.

I don't know
if we thought of it like that,

but that was basically how it wound up.

♪ I got a donkey dick

♪ It will make you sick

♪ I got a donkey dick

♪ It's big and thick ♪

Not all of our stuff is pornographic.

I mean if you listen to it carefully,
you know, the total catalogue,

now I haven't tabulated it all,

but I'd say maybe 50% is
not wholly concerned with sex.

First thing we do
when we wake up in the morning

- is take a shower...
- No.

- And put on a fresh hood.
- Jack off!

This hood smells like Sickie, though.

- I know.
- Disgusting.

That's what you get
for putting on his hood.

It's not a fresh hood.

- Why the hoods?
- That was El Duce's idea.

He had this idea when we put
together The Mentors,

that they'd have
this very strong image.

I saw it in the horror films

and I go, "That's what we'll do,
we'll all wear execution hoods."

You see,
I saw Kiss do their thing.

I go, "We got to be
as outrageous as Kiss."

El Duce told me that
he scheduled their first tour

by calling around people
and telling them

that he had the most incredible
Kiss cover band that there was,

and then he took
just the Kiss album,

like, he taped a compilation
of Kiss records

and sent them as a demo tape
out to people,

and then, like...
You know, that was his press kit,

it was this demo tape that was
just Kiss, and he's like,

"We're one of the most incredible
Kiss simulations that has ever been."

- And then they show up and...
- Play El Duce!

And they're the fucking...
they're The Mentors.

How do you describe
Mentors music?

- What is it to you?
- Uh, male chauvinism rock.

♪ All women are insane

♪ Some were born with no brain

♪ Bitch and cuss on the rag

♪ They are one hell of a drag

♪ If everything don't go their way

♪ They must fuck and suck me
for their pay

♪ Males are superior

♪ Females are inferior ♪

Do you think Mentors music
is a joke?

No, it's a form of life.

I just speak about what's
on my mind and what I believe.

So when did the ideology
emerge in him?

Uh, the whole...

become fully flowered you mean?

It was probably after
The Mentors had been together

for about two or three years,
when it really...

you know, became very monolithic
like that.

It was just sort of a slow evolution.

- What about "Golden Showers"?
- Oh, yeah.

See, I caught this one girl
cheating on me.

She goes, "He was so cute,
can you blame me?"

and I go, "Yeah, I can. I'm going
to have to give you the treatment."

She goes, "Whatever you want,
I love you...

"Oh, I love you."

I said, "All right, prove your love."

Now Mr. Chairman,
one point we've already made,

the material which has caused
the concern is new and different.

It's not just a continuation
of controversies of past generations.

To illustrate this point, we would like
to show a slide presentation.

The purpose of this presentation
is to acquaint you

with the type of material
that is in question.

I will be covering the themes
of violence and sexuality.

Bear in mind that what
you are about to see and hear

is a small sample of the abundant
material available today.

Ozzy Osborne, on his first
solo album shown here,

sings a song called "Suicide Solution".

Ozzy insists that he in no way

encourages suicidal behavior
in young people,

and yet he appears
in photographs such as these.

For those of you who can't make
that out because of the lights,

it's a picture of Ozzy with a gun
barrel stuck into his mouth.

My apologies.

How bad can it get?
The list is endless.

This album was released just recently
by a band called The Mentors.

It was released on the label
Enigma Records,

which also launched
Mötley Crüe's career.

The album includes songs like

"Four F Club: Find Her, Feel Her,
Fuck Her And Forget Her",

"Free Fix For A Fuck",
"Clap Queen", "My Erection is Over",

and the song "Golden Showers"
which says these words,

"Listen you little slut,
do as you're told,

"come with Daddy
for me to pour the gold.

"Golden showers, all through
my excrements you shall roam,

"bend up and smell my anal vapor,

"your face is my toilet paper,

"on your face I leave a shit tower,

"golden showers."

Mr. Chairman that concludes
my remarks, I thank you.

I'm sorry
your time has expired.

Thanks to the PMRC,

we tripled our sales,

we're like a nothing band
for a while,

then the PMRC came up there
and bitched about us,

next thing you know
our records skyrocketed.

It's all just bullshit.

I mean, he's successful
because he gets a reaction.

It's like there's a need
for that in society,

otherwise it's just boring and dull.

I mean, people...
you know, they get all upset

and they go to the Senate,

and they do all this protesting
and all that stuff

that just hypes his trip.

The records start selling more,

and I mean,
mean they're doing the...

They're giving him
just what he wants.

And I got to give him a lot of credit.

Man, he gets away with it.

He's exactly...
he's a total success in himself.

El Duce!

What kind of clubs were you playing
before the PMRC?

Holes in the wall, dives,

somebody's backyard,

but when the PMRC...

When they snapped into action,

man, we started playing
big halls, auditoriums.

♪ Bend up
and smell my anal vapor

♪ Your face is my toilet paper

♪ Golden shower... ♪

What kind of bands
did you play with?

Well, we started off playing

with just everybody's local
brother's band, you know.

And then once the PMRC
kicked into action,

we started playing with big groups,

like Metal Church, Montrose,
Ronnie Montrose, Plasmatics.

Probably the biggest bands
we played with is, like, Fear

and Killing Joke, Black Flag.

What's the best road experience
you ever had with The Mentors?

Probably with Saint Vitus.

I got laid about seven times
on that tour.

If you just look at LA,
you know, the past few years,

there's a huge explosion
of metal bands

that are coming out
and being very popular,

Poison and you know,
whoever else, Warrant.

But I think these guys
are extremely calculated.

First of all, they're part of a very big
money-making machine.

Any time you're in that...
your league,

you're talking: a big conglomerate

putting a lot of money into you,

expecting you to behave professionally
as far as not blowing shows,

you know, showing up on time,

producing a record on time,
things of that nature.

This band, you know,
Mentors is not set up for that at all.

I'm not sure if people
will listen to us in 100 years.

I think they might...

as opposed to a band
that's somewhat disposable,

enjoyable music, quality music,

but yet easily replaced.

So you see Mentor's music as what?

As art, I would consider it art

to the extent where most music
that's sold is less art,

and more just product,
it's a commercial product.

What constitutes art to you?

I think art has got...

True art is something
that is independent of time.

Uh...

I would say it deals
with lasting human themes

that are, again, time-independent
to an extent.

They sign a lot
of these glam rock bands,

tens of thousands of these bands

that all look the same,
all sound the same,

you can't tell one band
from the other.

But you could always tell The Mentors,
cos we stand out.

We're tired of sissy groups
like Mötley Crüe

and all this sissy stuff.

We want rape rock.

Sneaky, what do you think
of The Beatles?

- Who?
- The Beatles.

They don't rock.

♪ You

♪ Are

♪ My

♪ Sex slave ♪

They could say,
"Bon Jovi's really on an up move,"

you know whatever,
I don't care if he goes up or down.

I've got my lyrics,
and if they don't like it,

they can eat shit out of my ass.

I want to ask you something.

What does your mother
think about you? Huh?

Was El Duce...

Early on was he
a sort of a teddy bear of a guy

or was he mean, was he good?
I mean, he was obviously your friend.

Yeah.

Um...

I wouldn't call him Mr. Nice Guy.

He had a lot of weird aspects
to his personality.

He was...

See, he was from
a family of four, OK?

As far as other kids.
He had two sisters and one brother.

Now, one brother and one sister
were older than he was,

and they were
very good students,

and his father is... or was

a highly paid, high-up in
the bureaucracy, engineer at Boeing.

He was an aeronautical engineer.

And so there was a certain
amount of expectation

put on El Duce to follow
in the good student footsteps

of these two elder siblings.

But he just wasn't cut out
for that kind of thing and he...

You know, I think a couple of times
he almost got put back a grade,

and that kind of scarred
his personality to a certain extent.

Was, um...

As a kid or a teenager
was El Duce lazy?

Extremely.

Extremely lazy.

Did he... Was he...

Always since birth.

- Dramatically different than...
- Since birth he was...

And he's one of those people
that works harder at not working.

Like if he would...
You know what I'm saying?

All these lengths to avoid
doing the simple task,

if he would have done
the simple task,

he wouldn't have to go
to all this other bullshit,

you know what I mean?

Does that make sense?

Now, I don't give a damn
about books...

because I don't care what year
George Washington flipped a coin

across the Delaware River
or whatever,

I'll find that out later,
when I'm damn well ready.

So how did he become
such a good drummer?

It was the one thing that
he clung on too that he couldn't...

I think also he could take out
a lot of anger on those drums.

A lot of anger towards my father.

You know what?

That's me as little bastard
right there.

I'm going like,
"Who's going to fuck up my life,

"then make me the weirdo
that I is right now?"

And I tells myself, "I ain't fucked up,
I ain't weird, I ain't nothing."

What's your family like?

Square.

My dad designed bombs.

He designed part of the Apollo 11...

that landed on the moon.

What about your mother?

She was a secretary.

What was your childhood like,
growing up?

Oh, my dad beat me all the time.

He got a thrill out of it, boy.

His eyes would light up
when he cracked that whip.

Bam!

And I'd go like, "Yow!"

The more I yelled,
the more he got a turn-on.

And your mother?

Well, she just closed her ears
and closed her eyes and said,

"It's not real, it's not real."

I said, "It is real."

And I started the ball rolling
with my dad,

because of my grade card.

I got nothing but flunks and bad grades
when I was a kid.

He goes, "Why aren't you as smart
as your brother and sister?"

And I said, "Well, because I'm smarter.
I do not submit."

I mean, that's what
I was thinking in my head.

I didn't tell my dad that,
but that's what I was thinking.

I do not submit to people
that order me around.

He says his dad...

he says your dad beat him
when he was a kid.

Were you aware of that?

He spanked him really hard
with a paddle, yeah.

He did that to me, too.
We feared our father like Hitler.

We didn't respect him.

It wasn't healthy respect,
it was downright fear.

I mean, this is what my dad
used to do there.

He drilled holes like that big around
in his paddle...

to get a good swing on it.

Bam! And crack my ass.

He'd beat me an average
of about twice a week

for not doing this,
not mowing the lawn right,

this or that,
I'm a retarded person, you know,

any excuse he could find to beat me,
he would beat me.

Do you think your dad feels
responsible in some way?

No.

I think he absolved himself
of all of it.

Because, you know,
my dad's a sicko.

He designed bombs
for the Vietnam War

that tortured and killed people.

He helped design what they called
a Bouncing Napalm Bomb,

which is a spinning bomb.

They shoot it out of a B-52,

and it goes down
right through the tree line,

and it spins and drops off
canisters of napalm.

So for a five-mile stretch,

it blows like in "Apocalypse Now".

My dad designed that motherfucker.

El's just like, you know...

He's everything that is my dad's
worst nightmare,

and that's kind of great, too.

My dad needs that karma.

He does.

My dad is demented, sick,
warped and retarded.

I'm normal.

So, you do love your family?

Yeah, I love my family.

Who doesn't?

Do you go home at Christmas?

Nope, not this year, because my dad
told me to get lost and never come back,

and I said, "You got your wish.

"I'm going to dance on your grave
when you get cancer!"

Bleurgh!

Alright, come on.
Since you're helping me move it.

Yeah, one more thing to get up.

Wait till you see my drum set!

Hey, I didn't see you on...

I missed you
on "General High School".

Oh, I'm going to be on
on August 7th.

- August 7th.
- Yeah, one more show.

What are you bringing
to set the pace?

A Walkman with about 200 cassettes
and an amplifier

and a couple of pairs of socks
and underwear, and that's it.

Hey, look at that,
there's plenty of room in here.

You can fit how many people
in here with the equipment?

We're going to take six people,
and the amps back there,

and the drums
on top of the amps,

so it looks like pretty good shape.

I think we've got enough room
for everybody.

What's the farthest East you go?

New York City.

Where are you going to play
in New York?

- The Ritz.
- Really?

Yeah.

No.

No, I think this one's under control.

- Are those tools?
- I got a phone number for tools.

- Here's your hood, Sneaky.
- Yeesh!

I got a phone number
for a guy that's really good.

Don't leave home without it.

So everything else you have

you're just going to leave here
when you leave the road huh?

Yeah, more or less.

Can we get... You think...

you think Sneaky Spermshooter
will throw it all away

when he realizes
you left without him?

Oh, yeah, he's going
to be damn pissed.

So you just sneak in and tell him
you are just taking the stuff for a minute,

- and you see him tomorrow, huh?
- Yeah.

But you guys are gonna be
in St. Louis

- and he's gonna be here, huh?
- Right.

I'm sitting there looking at him, sitting
out in the electric car waiting on...

So, uh...

we were going to kick him
out of the band anyway

right before the tour, this last tour
we did with the Revolting Cocks,

but we didn't know
how we were going to tell him.

And then, uh...

luckily he was so gone
towards the end,

that he just up and died,
killed himself,

shooting up dope,
speedballs, and...

so that was a big load
off our shoulders.

I liked that guy, Ed.

Well, I didn't really like Ed.
He was kind of a...

Sneaky Spermshooter, you know?

- Yeah, he's dead.
- He's not dead, is he?

- Swear to God, he's dead.
- No way.

He's dead.

- You swear?
- I swear to God.

- Who told you that, Ed?
- I know he's dead.

- How do you know he's dead?
- Ed didn't tell me he's dead, no.

Did you feel, I know you
kind of skirted around, so...

Well, see, I was bummed out
because I lost my pad.

And I lost a lot of clothes,
my color TV,

my espresso coffee maker,

my popcorn,
hot air popcorn popper.

I don't wish that on anybody,

but, you know,
he was a little bit of a...

I mean, if he's dead,
he was an alright guy.

The way the band's set up,

there's so much infighting going on,
so much personal stuff,

that I don't think the band
has got what it takes

to totally go to the top.

I just don't see that happening.

And so what drives you then

is just your enjoyment
of playing music,

you know, just doing it,

and you have to enjoy doing it
just for the sake of doing it.

♪ Heterosexuals
have the right to rock

♪ Heterosexuals
have the right to rock... ♪

He comes down pretty hard
and is pretty anti-homosexual

and... very terrible things.

Well, you got to understand,

the appeal of The Mentors
in a lot of ways is very juvenile,

and it's sort of a male bonding thing,

a thing that 16-year-olds
can get together and listen to

and set themselves apart
from all their friends

by being into this band,
The Mentors, and...

As you know, 16-year-old males
in general are very homophobic,

and I think that's where
it comes from, you know.

He's not the kind of guy to go out
and "fag bash" or anything like that,

it's just part and parcel
of the whole Mentors package

that these things
come into the music.

Jeremy?

Yeah.

- Do you like that guitar sound?
- Yeah.

AJ.

Go get fucked up!

AJ.

I like the devil hearts.

Thanks, man.

What's up, man?

Alright, kid?

Get that hood on right.

It's not...

You're nobody to look up to.

I'll tell you right now
where you're going.

Your next gig
was going to be where?

This White Power movement thing.

See, there's a lot of these fanatics

down at Huntington Beach
that want to...

They want The Mentors to play there.

But I don't know, I got a lot
of black friends, too, you know.

I... I got...

Living in LA, you got
all kinds of friends, you know.

I got Chinese friends
and Mexican friends...

You know, it wouldn't look right
for me to go down there

and play for a bunch of...
a limited amount of people

that don't think too deeply.

Why do you, uh...

I mean I believe that whites
have rights, you know,

and if there's a black movement,

there should be a white movement.

I'm proud of being a white.

When I become sheriff of this county,

I'll be like Buford Pusser.

I'm going to be the strongest.

I'm a Klansman,
I'm a redneck, hallelujah!

And I'm going to get them,

and you know what?

When I become sheriff
of this county...

I'm going to carry a bat so big

it's going to have spikes
sticking of the sides.

And then when they see me coming
with my Nazi German helmet,

the crack dealers are going
to spread like ants.

But to tell you the truth...

I'm American all the way.

All liberals must die.

Why?

They stand up for gangs
and wars and literacy and...

How the hell do they expect to...

That calls for a drink.

I like him because he's a Nazi.

So you agree with both the liberals
and the conservatives?

What do you think of that?

I think it's a pile of crap,
we're already overpopulated.

What are they going to feed them?

Alfalfa leaves and welfare stamps?

What's that?

They don't want to pay us,

but if they want us that bad,

they'll have to pay us 150 bucks
and a keg of beer.

As far as El Duce's sort of philosophy

on Nazism and homosexuals...

Oh, he picked that up from a friend.

I think he picked that up
from a friend of his a while back.

That's just something
he's latched on to

just to be offensive.

It's not to be taken seriously?

No, one of his best friends
is as black as your pants.

Are you racist at all?

No.

I got a lot of black friends.

Do you think he really
idolizes Hitler?

Not in a serious sense,
I don't think so.

Just in terms
of the entertainment of it?

Yeah, I think he...

In terms of the entertainment, yes.

But no, he doesn't idolize Hitler,

certainly, you know,
doesn't read books about Hitler,

nor have pictures of Hitler
up on his wall or anything.

Your dad beat you,

and you resented that
and you hated that,

and yet people
like Hitler and Idi Amin

brutalize and torture people,
and you like that.

- Yeah, I do.
- How do you justify that?

Because it's entertainment,

and I've finally grown up
to realize what a fun party is.

Did you think it was entertainment
when your dad was beating you?

Oh, yeah, he got a kick out of it.

- You didn't, though?
- Hell no, I was a victim of it.

If you know what it's like to be the
victim, how come you like the idea of it?

Because you grow up, and now
I'm going to do it to somebody else,

cos my dad did it to me.

Is that fair to the person
you do it to, though?

Hell no, he's going to learn
how to do it to the next victim.

It's a chain reaction, brother.

Mom, if it were only you
and El Duce in the room together,

what do you want to just say to him?

You know what you're doing to kids?

Do you realize that
you're making boys think

that they can go out
and do this to girls,

and take their innocence away
when they don't want it taken away?

Well, girls shouldn't go
out there advertising for it.

No, I'm sorry, I wasn't advertising for it,
I was only 12 years old!

This dive is where
The Mentors started from.

They threw me out of here

because Stoney T said
I set fire to the dumpster.

Let me tell you I'm going to buy
this club and fire everybody.

But these guys are my friends.

That's right, brother.

- Eldon!
- Yeah, what's up there, buddy?

How are you doin'?

This is El Duce.
I named my dog after him.

"I named my dog after him!"

- What?
- I named my dog after him.

I'm your fucking wife, asshole.

Good to see you.

OK.

Big stash.

There you go.

Thanks to welfare.

And then, see,
he works part-time for me now,

so he'll help me in my business.

So we got this mutual thing
going there.

What do you do?

I do private parties.

I'm an entertainer, too,
and he's...

He comes a lot,
he carries my shit in and out,

cos I go do private parties
in people's houses,

he carries the shit
in and out for me.

What kind of work do you do?

I paint apartments,
do some plumbing.

Movie extra work.

Well, that sounds pretty bad.

Well, it's not good news.

But it's better than the gas chamber.

How many 40 ounces
do you drink a day?

I don't know, about two or three,
sometimes four,

sometimes six, sometimes eight.

How many before you pass out?

Probably around six.

Do you pretty much
pass out every night?

No, I'm...

Some nights I don't even sleep.

How is, uh...

Has El Duce's alcoholism
ever affected shows?

I mean, I love being
in the band and everything,

but it's affected the band
to such a degree

that probably only 50%
of the shows we're gonna do

are gonna be any good,

just due to the fact
of the alcohol problem.

I mean there's been more shows
than I could count

where he's been so out of it

that he literally could not even play,
barely even talk.

He's even gotten sloppy
on his drums,

I mean there's another side of...

he just cruises.

And his lyrics? Shit. It's the same
variations of the same crap.

He's lazy about that,
he can't even write lyrics anymore,

he just goes and improvises
recordings and everything.

So that has been
extremely detrimental,

now of course there has been a lot
of times when it's been humorous...

El Duce might get mad
about this one,

but this one place in Florida
where he was frying...

I'm going to fucking get in the ring,
and I'm gonna...

Ooh!

Yeah. Maybe I'm gonna be a wrestler.

The Billygoat!

Everybody thought he was
talking to somebody, like,

"Who is he talking to?"
This was, like, four hours' talking,

you know, all this shit,
like the wrestling guys in WWE?

Doing all that shit for four hours,

and finally I got up to see
who he was talking to,

and he's talking in the mirror.

He'd say stuff about,
"Yeah, I'm gonna kick this guy's ass."

You know, he's doing all...

That was really funny.

I'm going to take on anyone,
I'll lose the match, who cares?

I'll get the chicks
and the money afterwards.

Do you feel that the band kind
of keeps him from getting clean?

Uh...

Well no, no, I don't think so,
I don't think so.

I mean, to a certain extent,
his persona of El Duce

is being, you know,
this rock and roll party animal.

Sure, that reinforces
that behavior to a certain extent.

But to point to any one thing and say,
"That's why he's the way he is,"

or "If he wasn't doing that,
he wouldn't be drinking,"

I don't think one can make
those statements or assumptions.

I think alcoholism
is a very tricky thing

and certainly there's millions
of alcoholics in the world

who aren't in rock bands,

you know, your doctors,
lawyers, truck drivers...

Drug abuse and alcoholism,

they're chronic endemic problems
with people,

and it's not necessarily
attributed to any one thing

or any two or three things.

I started messing around
with Vodka 100 Proof Smirnoff,

the blue bottles,

and I was drinking that shit,
a fifth a day,

and that just tears your shit right up.

Your shit is gone within a month.

You know, drinking that stiff.

Cos I thought I was Superman,
I could do anything, you know.

And then I woke up in the hospital,

tubes stuck in my arms and stuff,

and I was like,
"I got to do something."

They gave me all these
knock-out pills and shit,

so that I could kick the booze.

And then I drifted back into drinking,

but now all I drink is...

Cos I can kind of control it.

You know, having grown up
with the guy,

being a close friend and everything,

nobody wants to see
somebody they know

destroy themselves in that way,
but you know...

You now, I kind of, to a certain extent,
wash my hands of it.

I sort of made my attempt
to get him clean,

it didn't really work, and, uh...

I just let him live his own life now.

Whatever he's going to do,
he's going to do.

I can't assume
any responsibility for him

in terms of his own personal wellbeing.

When do you feel bad for him?

When I see him, like, with a bottle,
half of a bottle of vodka in his hand.

And he just wants to be duced,

cos I know that thought,
I have been there, too.

And it's just...

I don't want to go
back there anymore.

And he's...

It took such incredible will
for me to get out of that,

and I don't think...

I mean, I know Eldon
doesn't have that will.

He doesn't even have
the will to, you know,

get a regular place to stay,

and clothes and shower,

and that's too much responsibility.

You have to be so determined
in mind, and he just isn't.

So, where do you live?

Well, it depends on my attitude.

Either jail,
cardboard condominium,

Sickie Wifebeater's,
Dr. Heathen Scum's.

I do the couch tour.

Um...

It's like being on the road.

But I'm on the road
in one little area.

It makes me a nervous wreck.

Makes me want to drink more.

I'm going to show you
how real kings live.

Who needs a job?
You do.

Who needs the booze?
I do.

Who's an asshole?
You are.

Who's a creep?
I am.

Let's get out a dictionary
and write down the words.

It's funny how you find
your real friends.

Last time I saw him,
he was living in a box.

Oh, yeah!

He was living in a box
on the side of the highway in LA.

We got to Hollywood,
and we pulled over,

I mean we're, like, sitting
in this parking lot in our bus,

and all of a sudden
we hear this...

There's this empty, deserted,
like, broken-down cube truck,

and we hear this...

And then we look over there,

and this whole refrigerator box
falls out of the back,

and El Duce comes
crawling out of it.

And he looks up at us
and he goes,

"Gwar?"

Say, brother.

You wouldn't be able to spare a nickel?

Spare what?

You wouldn't be able to spare
a nickel, could you?

Nickel, what is that?

A quarter.

Oh, you mean money?

What are you going to do
with that nickel, man?

- You are going to do what?
- Buy booze.

- Booze?
- Yeah.

Hey, Thirty...

How do we make money?

I bum.

Yeah, but how to be
a perfect bum?

Eldon Hoke.
That man's, like, true terror,

left and right.

That guy used to work
at the Ivar Theatre.

Get over here.

What?

Tell them what I'd do at the Ivar.

Tell them what I'd do at the Ivar.

In 1984, he used to work
as an announcer at the Ivar Theatre,

which was a totally nude
burlesque theater.

That's where I became
an announcer also.

Tell them what we did
in the light booth.

I am not even going to speak
such things on camera. Sorry.

I grew up with him,

I watched him become El Duce,
you know, slowly.

I mean, from drawing
little chopped-off arms and axes

and torture scenes
in the fourth grade...

instead of Bambi pictures and shit.

I mean, he's always been
real different.

Do you get along with her the best
of anyone in your family?

Yep.

I love my sister.

She's the only family I got, really.

Everyone else is gonna die
a gruesome death for their evil.

How would you like to die?

Uh, maybe a lethal injection,

or have me a...

hmm...

parachute without a parachute
that doesn't work.

Yeah.

The expression on their face
when they go.

Because they think they had
everything going together,

and then when it's time
for them to die,

get a good look at them! Argh!

He talks a lot about death and dying.
How seriously do you take that?

Well, you know, he first started
coming up with that

about ten years ago,
he'd start saying stuff like,

"I have seen death and I want to die."

When he gets really drunk, he'll go off
onto this death trip he's got.

I guess when he first started
coming up with it,

I got pretty concerned about it,
I thought it was maybe indicative

of what was soon to follow.

And I'm certainly still worried
about him expiring early.

I mean, the guy's been a serious
alcoholic for 10 or 15 years.

Certainly, you know, I don't know
how much time he's got left,

but, again, I just sort
of close my mind to it.

I figure my only alternative
is to not associate with him.

I don't want to do that, I mean...

I enjoy being around the guy
when he is more or less sober.

I like working with him,
playing with him.

He is a friend of mine,

and I think I just have
to accept him for what he is,

and if part of what he is,
is to die early, then so be it,

although I don't think anybody
wants to see that.

Mm... yeah.

He is fascinated with people dying
and killing and getting hurt and all that,

but he seems to be a peaceful guy.

Yeah, he's harmless.

That's the ironic thing about it,
he's totally harmless.

Didn't seem like he'd hurt anybody.

He wouldn't.
He is absolutely nonviolent.

Do you mind
taking your mask off?

OK, put it back on.

I am an ugly motherfucker.

I admit it.

I don't care anymore.

Do you find his problem with alcohol
to be inhibiting?

No, see, that's his own thing.

He's always talking
about dying early and stuff,

and that freaks some people out,

but I figure we all got to go
at our own pace,

and maybe the alcohol
is preserving him.

It doesn't bother me.
I don't give a fuck what he does.

'...the value of your home.

'It's even tax-deductible,
so consult your CPA.

'That's 1-800-227-2888.
Preferred financial funding.'

Just because El Duce
is bald and ugly...

uses cheap cardboard drums,

doesn't mean you have the right
to sneak in there

and stick your little
peekaboo camera up there.

I like to have people afraid of me.

- Uh, El...
- Don't do that.

No.

El!

Oh, God.

Whatever it takes for entertainment.

♪ Don't stop

♪ Thinking about tomorrow

♪ Don't stop

♪ It'll soon be here

♪ It'll be here

♪ Better than before

♪ Yesterday's gone

♪ Yesterday's gone

♪ Don't stop

♪ Thinking about tomorrow

♪ Don't stop

♪ It'll soon be here ♪

- Yes! Huh-huh!
- Uh-huh! Huh!

This kicks butt!

Huh-huh! Huh-huh!

Nirvana is cool.

- Huh-huh! Huh-huh!
- Yeah! Huh-huh...

See, I went through all
of our videos over here.

Check it out.

I have been archiving videos
since I bought a video camera last year,

and I got all the good shit in here

that's going to kick ass
royally on this garbage.

So sit back
and enjoy the El Duce,

the man, the myth, the video...

and make sure you show it
to all your friends.

No, No, don't do...
El, El, El...

Don't do this right out
in the open like that.

Look at the queer-looking dudes
that call themselves rock.

I say fucking Poison,
suck some cock.

Let me bless my beer.

This is how you drink your beer
when you're a real man.

The beer gods.

I am the king that knows
how to drink beer, watch me.

Let's do it, dude!

OK, how about some Duce
nude in the jacuzzi?

Yeah!

Get out of here!

Come on, let's go. Come on.

There is no doubt,
Courtney knowing him well,

would know, hey, if I wanted to hire
somebody to kill somebody,

El Duce would be the man.

- He would be liable to do it.
- Like that.

Is that... looks like him
right there actually.

That is... That's the one.

There he is, El Duce.

Where? I don't see him.

There he is right there.
So, he's, uh...

Hey, I got some...

You did some deal
with Courtney, right?

Yeah.

She offered me 50 grand
to whack Kurt Cobain.

But did she tell you how
she wanted you to kill Kurt Cobain?

Yeah, she said
blow his fucking head off.

I got the shotgun.

- But she didn't say anything...
- Make it look like a suicide.

Well, yeah, but if he blew out
his brains like you said...

'Hello, you've reached
The Mentors hotline.

'If you are calling regarding
the rumors about El Duce,

'we're sorry to report
that they are indeed true.

'El Duce is deceased,

'and he was hit by a train
two Saturday nights ago.

'Thank you very much
for your condolences.

'They're greatly appreciated.'

You know how they found El Duce?

- Dead?
- Found him dead with no head.

Found him on train tracks

with his head on one side
and his body on the other.

The passing of an American genius.

El Duce had to leave,

he had to catch a train... with his face.

Having maybe reached

the apex of commercial viability
with The Mentors,

why not now just play
a type of music

that you have always
wanted to play?

Well, I think we do,
we do play what we want to play.

Right now,
it's what we want to play.

You don't feel the need
to go off and, uh...

I mean, El Duce
doesn't feel the need

to find his fusion roots again?

- Uh, no.
- I'm just getting back to...

Yeah, I know what you're saying.
I know exactly what you're saying.

When we started out,
it was contrived

to the extent I've already described.

But that... we're way
past that point now.

It's no longer a contrived thing,

it's a real legitimate
artistic thing that we do,

and there's very little pretense
behind it of that nature.

So I think we are doing
what we want to do.

I mean, I guess...

I think El would've wound up
the same way

whether or not he was ever
in The Mentors.

And so I guess I'm glad that, um...

he was in The Mentors so he will be
remembered for something.

El Duce, this is for you.

I hope you roll in your fucking grave!

♪ Sandwich of love

♪ It's the sandwich of love ♪

"Bend up
and smell my anal vapor.

"Your face is my toilet paper.

"On your face
I leave a shit tower.

"Golden showers.

"Golden showers."

I'm sorry, your time has expired.

Duce!

When you took a mic stand
and you shoved it in your ass,

and you hit me with it,

I felt like I graduated
from high school.

- Well, congratulations.
- Thanks.

This kind of thing might have
a big enough of an impact.

It said what it needed to say
in such a concise

yet humorous and pungent fashion

that I could see it
making a lasting impact.

♪ I know you want it,
you're a good girl ♪

♪ Vaginoplasty

♪ I keep it nasty ♪

You've spoken out
against all these... people.

Like, you say
you don't hire gay people.

No, no, no.

They're not as bad as women,
but no, I don't hire gays.

- But you know that's not...
- No, they're really...

- But you know that's just...
- Just kidding.

You're easy.

What if you control the entire world?

Somebody who could rise
to political power,

through nothing more
than pushing people's buttons

and getting them all riled up.

There's a bunch of famous musicians
who were trying to close down Gitmo,

and they are enraged,

thinking that perhaps
their music was being used

as torture against these inmates.

How do you feel about that?

Well, I mean, rock 'n' roll has been
an instrument of torture

for as long as I can remember.

♪ It should be legal to rape men

♪ I'd never be alone again

♪ I'd even let them fuck me raw

♪ Why is it against the law? ♪

And there are like one, two,
three, four, five, six, seven Fs

in front of the 4th of July.

What does that signify if anything?

♪ Find her, feel her

♪ Fuck her, forget her ♪

Last night, the number one trending topic
on Twitter was Obama Farewell.

And the second trending topic,
no kidding,

was "Golden Showers".

I think he's very proud
of what he has done with his life.

I think he's very cognizant
of the fact that he is creating art,

and does consider himself
an artist.

I mean, he shocked
and grossed people out,

that's what he wanted to do.

And he was the best at it,
but it killed him inside.

I mean, who wants to go around

being the biggest, fattest,
grossest, most disgusting thing?

Yep.

It's art.

See you in hell!

No, better yet,
I'm in heaven. Bleurgh!

Fooled ya!