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1
00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:02,472
This was the worst damn weekend
2
00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:07,911
I ever spent in my
whole hard-working life.
3
00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:09,212
Let's just not
discuss it anymore.
4
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,213
I should have known better
5
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:11,481
than to take somebody like you
6
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:13,216
camping anyway.
7
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,807
Yeah, you should have.
8
00:01:28,122 --> 00:01:29,566
That's right, you should've,
9
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,668
because I think
the great outdoors
10
00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:34,404
should be locked up inside.
11
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,805
Yeah, Pop, but you was the one
12
00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:37,274
that agreed to go.
13
00:01:37,298 --> 00:01:39,676
Yeah, but I thought it'd be
like one of them Disney movies
14
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:41,178
with them cute little animals,
15
00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:44,214
not a bunch of flies and gnats,
16
00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:47,184
and bats and bugs
and slugs and snakes,
17
00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:49,352
and that big ugly
thing that kept saying,
18
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,896
"Breathe deep, Pop.
You smell that air?"
19
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:56,693
Hey, Lamont! Open the door!
20
00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:58,962
Hey, it's Julio.
21
00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:00,697
Two days in the
woods with insects,
22
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:02,154
and here come the Spanish flea.
23
00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:04,501
Hey!
24
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:07,237
Hey, man, what's
happening, baby?
25
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:09,172
What's up?
26
00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:10,373
I've got to tell you, man.
27
00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:11,374
I've been waiting two days
28
00:02:11,398 --> 00:02:12,576
for you guys to get home.
29
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:15,011
I've got some exciting
news to tell you, man.
30
00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:17,314
You're going to
Puerto Rico forever.
31
00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:18,915
No, man, I'm not
going to Puerto Rico,
32
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:20,650
but I might be moving.
33
00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:22,152
Hey, I'm sorry
to hear that, Julio.
34
00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:24,121
No, man, don't be
sorry. You're going too.
35
00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:26,623
In fact, everybody on
the whole block is leaving!
36
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:29,359
Don't tell me that sewer
main backed up again.
37
00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:31,361
No, no, man. It's
nothing like that.
38
00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:33,497
It's good news. Let me 'splain.
39
00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:35,031
'Splain?
40
00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:37,501
Listen, Lamont,
he's going to 'splain.
41
00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:38,868
Go ahead and 'splain, Julio.
42
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:41,104
You see, the last
couple of days, man,
43
00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:43,140
some Japanese people
have been coming around,
44
00:02:43,164 --> 00:02:45,375
talking to every property
owner on the block.
45
00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:47,110
Japanese? Here?
46
00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:48,278
Right, man.
47
00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:50,480
They want to build a
brewery on our block!
48
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:51,848
A brewery?
49
00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:53,116
Right, man,
50
00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:55,452
and they want to
buy up all our houses.
51
00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:56,653
Hey, and everything
I've ever heard
52
00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:57,820
about the Japanese people
53
00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,656
says that they're
loaded with money.
54
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,324
Well, I'm not interested.
55
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:02,925
Hey, what do you mean
you're not interested?
56
00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:04,394
I'm not interested.
57
00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:06,796
Look, we sell our houses,
and where are we going to live?
58
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:09,466
In Tokyo?
59
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:12,135
Hey, look, Pop, Japanese
people have a lot of money, man,
60
00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:14,638
and if we could get,
say, $15,000 from them,
61
00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:16,005
we could move anywhere.
62
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:19,842
You like to move so
much, well, watch me move.
63
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:22,186
I'm moving upstairs to bed.
64
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:23,380
Good night, good night.
65
00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:24,548
Okay, good night, Mr. Sanford.
66
00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:26,149
Have a good night's
sleep, but just remember,
67
00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:28,218
the Japanese are going to be
here first thing in the morning.
68
00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:30,153
I know that.
69
00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:31,621
How?
70
00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:34,346
They always attack at dawn.
71
00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:46,603
♪ I know I'd go From
Rags to Riches... ♪
72
00:03:59,607 --> 00:04:01,351
Hey, Pop, did the
Japanese get here yet?
73
00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:02,785
Look around.
74
00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:05,210
Do you see any seaweed
in the living room?
75
00:04:06,614 --> 00:04:07,591
Hey, what you doing?
76
00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:09,892
See, when the Japanese come,
77
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:13,263
I'm gonna invite them for
tea and fortune cookies,
78
00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:14,664
and I'm putting
in my own fortune.
79
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:17,967
Oh. Oh, that's
genius, Pop. It is.
80
00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:19,336
Now, listen to this one here.
81
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:24,107
"You will meet a tall,
dark, handsome stranger.
82
00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:25,251
Give him what he wants."
83
00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:30,880
Hey, wait a minute...
84
00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:32,081
It's not going to work, Pop.
85
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,082
It'll work.
86
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,284
Here's the one I know'll work.
87
00:04:34,308 --> 00:04:38,187
Look... "The tea you
just drank is poison,
88
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:40,690
"so for $50,000,
89
00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:42,881
you can have this
house and an antidote."
90
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,496
Please, Mr. Sanford,
don't do anything like that.
91
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,498
You're going to ruin
it for all of us, man.
92
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:50,099
How can I ruin it for all of us?
93
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:53,370
Because the Japanese put
a stipulation on the contract
94
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:55,438
that says that every
property owner has to sell,
95
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:56,473
or the deal is off.
96
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:57,674
That's right, man.
97
00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:59,738
If we don't sell,
nobody gets any money.
98
00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:01,478
I don't like it.
99
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:02,746
What's not to like, man?
100
00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:04,781
They're paying a
whole lot of money,
101
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,049
and I'll tell you, for the
12,000 I'm going to get,
102
00:05:07,073 --> 00:05:08,652
I'm going to do
a lot of traveling.
103
00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:10,219
Wait a minute.
104
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:11,588
12,000?
105
00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:13,290
Right, but we're not
supposed to talk about it, but...
106
00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:14,924
You hear that, Lamont?
107
00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:16,359
If he can get $12,000
108
00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:18,161
for that death trap
he lives in over there,
109
00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:20,764
they'll think this
is the Taj Mahal.
110
00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:23,166
Man, that's not a nice thing
to say about my house, man.
111
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:24,567
He doesn't mean
nothing by it, bro.
112
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:25,735
Yeah, I know, man.
113
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,337
Listen, why don't
you go on and leave
114
00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:28,738
before the Japanese
might make a mistake
115
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,473
and catch you here?
116
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:32,275
Okay, Mr. Sanford. I'll
tell you one thing now,
117
00:05:32,299 --> 00:05:34,678
as soon as you sign, we
all going to get our money,
118
00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:36,780
so, you know, we're
in the same boat.
119
00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:38,615
This is the captain speaking.
120
00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:40,138
Get your poop off my deck.
121
00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:42,686
I'll see you later, man.
122
00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:43,710
Yeah, okay.
123
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,456
Hey, you know, I
think you're right, Pop.
124
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:49,826
If they give Julio $12,000
for his place, man,
125
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,729
we could get about
14 or 15 for ours.
126
00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:54,997
Hey, it's almost 12:00
and they're not here yet.
127
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,166
Julio said they was gonna
be here this morning, man.
128
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,768
Listen, son, don't
worry, they'll be here.
129
00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:01,438
It's just an old trick that
the Japanese play, see?
130
00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:03,340
They say one thing
and do another.
131
00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:07,076
See, there, what did I tell you?
132
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,278
I can tell you exactly what
that guy's gonna look like.
133
00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:10,480
You can, huh?
134
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:12,081
Yeah, he'll be short,
with big thick glasses on,
135
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:13,883
and be smiling, with a big
old funny-looking moustache.
136
00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:14,951
You just watch and see.
137
00:06:14,975 --> 00:06:16,252
He'll have on a pretty dress
138
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:18,187
and some high-heel shoes.
139
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,223
Mr. Sanford?
140
00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:21,691
Yeah, both of us.
141
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,426
Hi, I'm Lamont Sanford.
142
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:25,294
How do you do? I'm Helen Funai,
143
00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:28,164
and I represent the Funai
Real Estate Company.
144
00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:29,198
Oh, well, I'm Fred Sanford,
145
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:30,433
and I'm president
146
00:06:30,457 --> 00:06:34,404
of, uh, Sanford's
Junky Junkyard Inc.
147
00:06:34,428 --> 00:06:35,505
Won't you please come in?
148
00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:36,639
Thank you.
149
00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:39,108
Yes, come right in.
Sit down over here.
150
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:40,577
Relax.
151
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:43,480
Uh, do you care for a
snack or anything like that?
152
00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:45,281
I think I've got some
rice in the cupboard.
153
00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:47,138
Pop!
154
00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:49,686
No, thank you.
155
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:50,887
If you don't mind,
156
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,489
I'd like to get right
down to business.
157
00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:54,724
I'm sure you're aware by now
158
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,225
that my company has
been buying up property
159
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,226
on this block.
160
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,862
Oh, really?
161
00:06:58,886 --> 00:07:00,897
Yes, and since you
are the last party
162
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,298
to come to terms,
163
00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:04,166
you can understand our desire
164
00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:05,568
to quickly conclude
negotiations.
165
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:07,036
Uh, yes, we understand.
166
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,638
Yes, uh, listen, you mean,
167
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:10,039
everybody else has
signed up but us?
168
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:11,274
We're the last ones left?
169
00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:12,809
That is correct.
170
00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:13,976
Naturally, we have
carefully appraised
171
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,613
your property,
however, we also realize
172
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:19,315
that there is a certain amount
of sentimental value involved.
173
00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:21,150
Sentimental value...
174
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:22,619
Yes, so I think you'll agree
175
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,721
that we have been
quite fair in our offer.
176
00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:27,424
$20,000!
177
00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:30,293
We feel that's
reasonable, don't you?
178
00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:34,697
Uh, yes, that's very reasonable.
179
00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:37,166
Perhaps we should sign, father.
180
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:39,324
I think I have a
pen in the drawer.
181
00:07:44,431 --> 00:07:47,744
Yes, I seem to have found one.
182
00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:49,712
Here you go,
Dough... Uh, D-Deed...
183
00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:50,980
Uh, Dad.
184
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,816
Uh, see, the Dad's
in my deed's name.
185
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,584
The deed's in my dad's name.
186
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:55,718
Just sign it there.
187
00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:02,391
Is something wrong, Mr. Sanford?
188
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:06,796
No, just... selling this place
189
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:10,066
just breaks my
heart, and, you know,
190
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:11,067
the sentimental value and all.
191
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:12,068
Sentimental value!
192
00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:14,771
Since when did
you ever have any...
193
00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:16,940
Ah!
194
00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:20,064
I know how you feel, son.
195
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,582
Can you... can you see...
Let me explain to you.
196
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:30,419
See, $20,000 is all right,
but it just don't seem enough
197
00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:37,193
to part with...
with all of this.
198
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:38,895
All right, Mr. Sanford.
199
00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:40,029
I'll come back
200
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:41,965
a little later this afternoon.
201
00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:43,065
Sayonara.
202
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:44,929
Yeah, and Frank Sinatra to you.
203
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:54,477
Are you crazy!
204
00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:56,613
You just said
goodbye to $20,000!
205
00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:58,581
Yeah, but I'm
fixing to say hello
206
00:08:58,605 --> 00:09:01,083
to a whole lot more!
207
00:09:01,107 --> 00:09:02,084
More?
208
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:03,319
Yeah.
209
00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:04,721
You see, didn't you hear her say
210
00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:06,523
that we were the
last ones to sign up?
211
00:09:06,547 --> 00:09:07,924
Now, if they want all this land,
212
00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:09,325
they've got to
wait till we sell.
213
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:10,793
Hey, Pop, look, I'm
warning you, man.
214
00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:12,929
Japanese people are
very shrewd businessmen.
215
00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:16,232
Me too, but son, listen.
216
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:18,423
We got them by the teriyaki.
217
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,773
Pop, what about
our neighbors, man?
218
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:25,441
All our neighbors
are depending on us
219
00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:26,609
to close the deal.
220
00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:29,546
Let them get their own teriyaki.
221
00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:31,080
Pop, this is the opportunity
222
00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:32,081
of a lifetime, man,
223
00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:33,482
and you're throwing
it out the window
224
00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:35,051
because you're being greedy.
225
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:37,820
Son, haven't you
learned anything at all
226
00:09:37,844 --> 00:09:40,857
being my son?
227
00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:42,458
Who do you think
I'm doing this for?
228
00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:43,815
Yourself.
229
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:46,885
Yeah, you've learned something.
230
00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,440
Hey, man, it's almost 5:00,
231
00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:59,442
and she hasn't come back yet.
232
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:00,977
Well, she'll be
here. I ain't worried.
233
00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:01,978
You're not worried, huh?
234
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:03,112
That's right.
235
00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:04,714
I've been looking in
the real estate section.
236
00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:06,449
Come over here a minute.
237
00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:12,121
Look at this,
"Two-bedroom apartment.
238
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:14,624
"Decorator furnished.
239
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,960
Swimming pool, tennis courts."
240
00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:20,296
Pop, those apartments
are for singles only.
241
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:23,421
Well, who do you think
we are? Ozzie and Harriet?
242
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:28,571
See that? What'd I tell you?
243
00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:31,195
Not only 30, we can get 35,000.
244
00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:35,678
Uh, hello, Miss
Funai. Please come in.
245
00:10:35,702 --> 00:10:37,714
Hello. Thank you. I'll be brief.
246
00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:39,716
Oh, Mr. Sanford,
247
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:42,652
my associates and I have
decided that in consideration
248
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:44,587
of your deep feelings
toward your home,
249
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:48,024
we will increase
our offer to 22,5.
250
00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:52,717
22,5... What's the nickel for?
251
00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:56,933
That's $22,500, Pop.
252
00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:58,134
Oh, that's all right,
253
00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,468
but I'm not interested.
254
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,203
Could you come back
tomorrow afternoon?
255
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:02,505
Are you crazy?
256
00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:03,706
Well, I don't know, Mr. Sanford.
257
00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:07,143
We are working
on a timetable, now.
258
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,144
Excuse me.
259
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,378
May I make a business call?
260
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:10,579
Oh, yeah, just take the phone
261
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:11,580
into the kitchen.
262
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:12,604
Thank you.
263
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:16,908
I hope she's ain't
calling Japan.
264
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:21,824
If she is, I'll just tack it on
to the price of the house.
265
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,059
Hey, Pop. Wait a minute, man.
266
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:25,128
Do you realize what
she's offering us, man?
267
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:27,063
22,5! Do you know what
we can get with that?
268
00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:30,800
Yeah, 25, and if we
get 25, we can get 30.
269
00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:32,001
Why not 35?
270
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:35,404
Listen, son, now,
let's be realistic.
271
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:36,873
Like, you know this yourself
272
00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:40,109
that this house is
not worth 35,000...
273
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:43,345
Unless we throw in the
carpets and the draperies.
274
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:45,915
Gentlemen, I am not authorized
275
00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:48,350
to make you any further offers.
276
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,586
However, my father, the
president of our company,
277
00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:51,888
would consider it an honor
278
00:11:51,912 --> 00:11:54,023
if you both would have
dinner with us this evening.
279
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:56,492
Uh, would he consider it an
honor picking up the check?
280
00:11:57,517 --> 00:11:59,328
My father's only kidding.
281
00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:00,997
We'd love to sup
with you this evening.
282
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,799
What time should we be there?
283
00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:03,800
How about eight?
284
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:04,801
Eight is perfect.
285
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:06,368
And here is the
address to our house.
286
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:07,369
Okay, thank you very much.
287
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:08,370
Bye-bye.
288
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:09,674
Okay, bye-bye.
289
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,876
Wait a minute, what
did you do that for?
290
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,477
I ain't going to no
strange people's house
291
00:12:15,501 --> 00:12:17,080
and sit around with
a bunch of foreigners.
292
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:19,281
Ain't nothing you can say
to make me change my mind.
293
00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:20,449
A team of wild horses
294
00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:21,884
couldn't get me to
change my mind.
295
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:25,154
Okay, you'll blow the 22,5.
296
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:27,912
Uh... Will you
saddle up the truck?
297
00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:42,894
Mr. Sanford, Lamont,
please come in.
298
00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:48,444
And trouble finding us?
299
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:51,035
Oh, no, we're familiar
with Beverly Hills.
300
00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:58,420
And the hills are alive.
301
00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,422
Gentlemen, this is
my cousin, Saburyo.
302
00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:01,891
He and my great-grandfather
303
00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:03,425
are visiting us from
the mother country.
304
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:06,484
They must be from Harlem.
305
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,035
Let's get out of here.
306
00:13:13,059 --> 00:13:15,437
No, wait a minute, Pop.
307
00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:16,973
Look, just relax.
308
00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:18,674
Relax? How can I relax?
309
00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:20,643
The last time I saw
something this big,
310
00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:25,314
Tarzan was having
trouble trying to kill it.
311
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:28,484
What did he say?
312
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:30,653
Saburyo said, "It
is a great honor
313
00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:31,954
to have such
distinguished guests
314
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:33,022
in our home.
315
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:34,556
Hey, did you hear that, Pop?
316
00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:35,958
We're distinguished guests.
317
00:13:37,583 --> 00:13:38,594
What was that?
318
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:39,829
Saburyo suggests
319
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:41,397
that, in keeping
with our customs,
320
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:43,387
will you please remove
your jackets and shoes.
321
00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:53,198
Son, I think this
Saburyo might be...
322
00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:01,105
Gentlemen, please,
come this way.
323
00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:38,587
Wow. Boy, this is
a really nice house
324
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:40,156
you have here, Miss Funai.
325
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:41,891
So much history and everything.
326
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,492
Hey, this is a
Samurai sword, isn't it?
327
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:45,194
I'll bet there's a lot
of history behind that.
328
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,230
My great, great
uncle used that sword
329
00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:49,565
to kill himself,
commit hari-kari,
330
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,267
over a hundred years ago.
331
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:52,969
Amazing.
332
00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:55,033
What's so amazing
about killing yourself?
333
00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:58,140
My uncle Alphonso in
St. Louis killed his self,
334
00:14:58,164 --> 00:14:59,742
but you don't see me
hanging wine bottles
335
00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:01,632
all around the wall.
336
00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:06,448
Please... Ah,
gentlemen, gentlemen,
337
00:15:06,472 --> 00:15:08,251
an honor to meet you.
338
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:10,019
I am Funai Yukio,
339
00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:12,021
and this is my
noble grandfather.
340
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:13,325
Hello, Noble.
341
00:15:15,982 --> 00:15:21,197
He is the founder
of our company.
342
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:23,799
What's he looking for now?
343
00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:26,168
Get up now, Pop.
344
00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:27,536
Shall we sit down?
345
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,720
Yeah, let's sit down.
Where are the chairs at?
346
00:15:58,925 --> 00:16:01,603
Let me help you, Mr. Sanford.
347
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:02,771
This is sushi,
348
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:06,475
rice balls wrapped
in seaweed, and this...
349
00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:09,211
is abalone dipped in soy sauce,
350
00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:13,704
and this is sashimi, raw fish.
351
00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:18,076
Ain't you got no
grits and gravy?
352
00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:22,758
Hey, Pop, why don't you
try some of this sashimi?
353
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:24,160
No, you go ahead and try that.
354
00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:28,064
I'll just eat a few
of these grapes.
355
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:30,699
Mm! That's all right.
356
00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:34,136
A little slippery,
but all right.
357
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,904
Oh, good,
Mr. Sanford, very good.
358
00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:37,195
You like the fish eyes.
359
00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:51,520
Mr. Sanford, I hope
we did not offend you
360
00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:53,689
by serving our traditional food.
361
00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:55,091
Oh, no. No offense.
362
00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:57,159
Would you care for some sake?
363
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:58,760
Hey, Pop, you're
going to like this, man.
364
00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:00,396
This is sake. See,
that's rice wine,
365
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:01,797
Yeah, now you're
getting down my alley
366
00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:02,798
with that wine.
367
00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:03,799
Here you are.
368
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:09,005
Socky... That's
socky, all right.
369
00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:11,374
Sweat socky.
370
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:15,211
Gentlemen, I would
like to propose a toast.
371
00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:16,545
To a successful
372
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:19,037
and mutually beneficial
business agreement.
373
00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:27,189
Lamont, they
trying to poison us.
374
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:30,393
You'll get used
to it, Mr. Sanford,
375
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:31,960
and now to business.
376
00:17:31,984 --> 00:17:33,396
I have discussed your situation
377
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:35,498
with my honorable grandfather,
378
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:36,832
and he was quite impressed
379
00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:38,756
with your sentimental
attachment to your home.
380
00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:42,138
He is?
381
00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:43,906
Yes, and we have decided,
382
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:48,777
in just compensation
for your emotional loss,
383
00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:52,648
absolute top price of $27,000.
384
00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:55,317
27,000...
385
00:17:55,341 --> 00:17:57,186
Yeah, that's top price, but...
386
00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:58,921
30,000 would be tip top.
387
00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:01,323
I'll tip top you.
388
00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:03,125
You're going to sign
that paper this time, Pop,
389
00:18:03,149 --> 00:18:04,626
and that's all there is to it.
390
00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:08,797
I'll sign it.
391
00:18:08,821 --> 00:18:10,188
Do you have a pen?
392
00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:18,140
I can't sign this, son.
393
00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:20,576
All the nerves in
my hand is gone.
394
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,812
My whole hand
is numb... It hurts.
395
00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:25,981
It goes all the way
around into my back.
396
00:18:26,005 --> 00:18:27,783
It must have happened
when I bowed.
397
00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:29,818
Oh, you have a bad
back, Mr. Sanford?
398
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:30,819
Oh, yeah,
399
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:33,089
and it goes all the
way down to my hand,
400
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:34,190
and I can't move it.
401
00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:36,992
Just a moment. I
have just the solution.
402
00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:39,295
An ancient technique,
frequently used in Japan.
403
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:46,424
We'll have you signing
the paper in no time.
404
00:18:51,897 --> 00:18:53,809
Wait a minute!
405
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:56,011
It's... Torture!
406
00:18:56,035 --> 00:19:00,449
Hold back. I know Kung Fu!
407
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:03,073
I've never... I've
never missed a show.
408
00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:22,671
You really blew
it this time, Pop.
409
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:23,872
You really blew it this time.
410
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:25,674
Why'd you have to
run out like that for?
411
00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:27,075
What did you expect me to do
412
00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:28,477
when that big guy
comes toward me
413
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:29,612
with them two needles?
414
00:19:29,636 --> 00:19:31,046
I couldn't think
of but two things:
415
00:19:31,070 --> 00:19:33,682
run and fast.
416
00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:35,083
Well, you can just
rest assured that
417
00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:36,118
that's the last time
418
00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:37,319
we're going to see those people.
419
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:38,521
Oh, you'll see them again.
420
00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:40,122
See, they need this property,
421
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:42,958
and I'll betcha we can still
get $30,000 for this place.
422
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:44,193
Don't you understand, Pop?
423
00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:45,927
We're not getting nothing, man.
424
00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:47,329
Running out on
those people like that
425
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:48,531
was a supreme insult.
426
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:49,798
Well, I'll tell you what.
427
00:19:49,822 --> 00:19:51,800
Just to show you I ain't
got no hard feelings,
428
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,569
I'll call them up and tell
them I'll take their last offer.
429
00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:55,571
Well, maybe calling would help.
430
00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:57,039
Yeah, see, calling
431
00:19:57,063 --> 00:20:00,030
is the next best
thing to being there.
432
00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,446
See that? What'd I tell you?
433
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:07,572
35,000, not 30,000.
434
00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:11,620
Miss Funai, how are you?
435
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:13,055
Uh, I would like to apologize
436
00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:14,290
for my father's behavior...
437
00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:16,492
Oh, that's all right.
We understand.
438
00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:17,693
Yes, won't you please come in
439
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:20,196
our humble home and
partake of some sofa.
440
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:22,119
Thank you.
441
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:31,773
Great-grandfather has
much he wants to say to you.
442
00:20:31,797 --> 00:20:33,875
Exactly how much?
443
00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:46,355
What'd he say?
444
00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:49,124
He said, "Never in his lifetime
445
00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:51,594
has he met a man
as great as you."
446
00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:54,518
Tell him I agree
with every word.
447
00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:59,535
Oh, man.
448
00:21:12,071 --> 00:21:13,148
What was that?
449
00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:14,717
He wants you to know
450
00:21:14,741 --> 00:21:17,018
that he thinks you are a
dedicated, home-loving man,
451
00:21:17,042 --> 00:21:19,821
and he respects your
great love for your home.
452
00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:21,557
He wouldn't dare
ask you to leave it.
453
00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:23,592
No. No, ask me.
454
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:24,760
Ask me.
455
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,262
I mean, tell him, ask me,
456
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:27,996
because that's the
$30,000 question.
457
00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:30,733
Gentlemen, he has
made his decision.
458
00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:33,569
Rather than uproot you
from your ancestral lodgings,
459
00:21:33,593 --> 00:21:35,003
he has decided to
build the brewery
460
00:21:35,027 --> 00:21:36,004
somewhere else.
461
00:21:36,028 --> 00:21:38,940
Uproot me, man! Uproot!
462
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:41,377
Look, all my people
are buried in St. Louis!
463
00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:43,512
Get to the uproot!
464
00:21:43,536 --> 00:21:44,580
Oh, wait a minute!
465
00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:47,182
Mr. Sanford,
466
00:21:47,206 --> 00:21:51,052
as a gesture of
respect and friendship,
467
00:21:51,076 --> 00:21:52,488
my great-grandfather offers you
468
00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:53,522
this seashell.
469
00:21:53,546 --> 00:21:54,590
Seashell?
470
00:21:54,614 --> 00:21:56,392
Present.
471
00:21:56,416 --> 00:21:59,895
Oh, I know, there's $30,000
in here somewhere, isn't there?
472
00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:01,963
This is a fortune
seashell cookie.
473
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:03,332
Goodbye, gentlemen.
474
00:22:03,356 --> 00:22:05,534
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
475
00:22:05,558 --> 00:22:07,869
Uproot me. I'll take less money.
476
00:22:07,893 --> 00:22:09,305
I'll take 20,000!
477
00:22:09,329 --> 00:22:13,509
15, and I'll throw in Lamont.
He'll be your gardener.
478
00:22:13,533 --> 00:22:15,232
Give me something!
479
00:22:27,714 --> 00:22:30,258
What am I gonna do with this?
480
00:22:30,282 --> 00:22:32,027
It's a seashell, Pop.
481
00:22:32,051 --> 00:22:34,697
Hold it up to your right ear...
482
00:22:34,721 --> 00:22:37,041
and push it
through to your left.
483
00:23:07,319 --> 00:23:08,697
Hey, Pop, what are you doing
484
00:23:08,721 --> 00:23:10,098
with a handkerchief
up to the phone?
485
00:23:10,122 --> 00:23:13,001
I didn't want to get
any germs on my face.
486
00:23:13,025 --> 00:23:14,503
Well, have any of
the neighbors called
487
00:23:14,527 --> 00:23:16,037
to complain about
you blowing the deal?
488
00:23:16,061 --> 00:23:17,639
No, not one. Oh,
that's surprising.
489
00:23:17,663 --> 00:23:19,941
I would've thought that they
would have been over here
490
00:23:19,965 --> 00:23:21,142
jumping down your throat by now.
491
00:23:21,166 --> 00:23:22,344
Yeah, I'd have thought that too.
492
00:23:22,368 --> 00:23:23,945
Yeah, well, I'm going
upstairs and wash up,
493
00:23:23,969 --> 00:23:26,014
and then I'm going to
split over to Madeline's.
494
00:23:26,038 --> 00:23:27,772
Oh, that's good, son.
495
00:23:51,664 --> 00:23:55,210
Hello.
496
00:23:55,234 --> 00:23:59,848
Uh, is this honorable Julio?
497
00:23:59,872 --> 00:24:01,116
Julio...
498
00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:02,984
Yes, this is honorable
representative
499
00:24:03,008 --> 00:24:07,623
of the real estate...
Miss Funee.
500
00:24:07,647 --> 00:24:09,491
Funee? Yeah.
501
00:24:09,515 --> 00:24:14,463
Yeah, calling honorable
to tell you we, uh,
502
00:24:14,487 --> 00:24:17,499
not going to buy any
property in your block
503
00:24:17,523 --> 00:24:18,500
for the brewery,
504
00:24:18,524 --> 00:24:21,202
and it's not Fled's flault.
505
00:24:21,226 --> 00:24:24,005
No, it's not Fled's flault!
506
00:24:24,029 --> 00:24:26,875
Fled.
507
00:24:26,899 --> 00:24:29,377
Fled!
508
00:24:29,401 --> 00:24:33,003
Fred, you big dumb Puerto Rican!
35794
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