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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:06,976 Hey, what are you so nervous about, Pop? 2 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,046 Well, Grady's supposed to be here and he's late. 3 00:01:09,070 --> 00:01:10,047 Well, Grady comes over here 4 00:01:10,071 --> 00:01:11,248 almost every night. 5 00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:13,150 So what if he's a little late for a change? 6 00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:14,451 Yeah, but he's a lot late tonight. 7 00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:16,520 I told him to be here at 7:00, he said, "No, 8:00." 8 00:01:16,544 --> 00:01:18,621 Here it is going on 9:00, almost 10:00. 9 00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:20,890 He's three hours late. 10 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,292 Well, don't worry about it, Pop. 11 00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:25,462 Yeah, but maybe he had an accident. 12 00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:29,066 Maybe he got chased by a mugger. 13 00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:30,434 Come on, Pop. 14 00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:32,302 Yeah, see, if he got chased by a mugger, 15 00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:33,770 he'd be in trouble, see, 16 00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:35,038 because he's got them bunions 17 00:01:35,062 --> 00:01:36,973 on his big toes... 18 00:01:36,997 --> 00:01:40,210 and his foot don't bend too good. 19 00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:42,412 See, so, if that happened to him, 20 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,047 that mugger would hurt him. 21 00:01:44,071 --> 00:01:47,016 The only thing he could do against a mugger 22 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,852 is side-step like a crab. 23 00:01:49,876 --> 00:01:51,254 You know, I wouldn't worry about it 24 00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:52,355 if I were you. 25 00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:53,423 No, you wouldn't worry 26 00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:54,924 'cause you go out every night 27 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,226 'cause you don't care about me. 28 00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:57,727 I do care about you, Pop. 29 00:01:57,751 --> 00:01:59,362 Now you don't care about Grady. 30 00:01:59,386 --> 00:02:02,432 And what kind of a son of a friend of a friend are you? 31 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:03,567 Look. 32 00:02:03,591 --> 00:02:04,871 Everything is gonna be all right. 33 00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,304 Now, look, I bet you that's Grady now. 34 00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:09,288 See? You were worried about nothing. 35 00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:11,007 Grady. 36 00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:15,378 Fred, Fred, Fred... Hey, Grady, what you... 37 00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:17,714 What are you so late for? Where you been? 38 00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:19,382 What you got in there? 39 00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:23,275 I got the... I got the best wine that money can buy. 40 00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:28,514 This is top shelf... Silver Satin. 41 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,461 Come on in, Grady. 42 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,663 You sure acting strange. 43 00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:34,664 Wait a minute. Come here. 44 00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:35,765 Wait a minute. 45 00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:37,200 Let me see what you been drinking. 46 00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:38,557 Let me smell your breath. 47 00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:46,176 Fred... I haven't touched a drop. 48 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:49,446 I want my best friend Fred to be in on this celebration. 49 00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:50,447 What celebration? 50 00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:51,448 Yeah. 51 00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:52,482 What you celebrating, Grady? 52 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,951 The greatest thing in my life. 53 00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:56,119 You hit the number? 54 00:02:56,143 --> 00:02:57,587 No. 55 00:02:57,611 --> 00:02:59,022 Your bunions went away? 56 00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:03,026 No, this is something so special and so great. 57 00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:04,861 I can't believe it. 58 00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:07,364 Fred, you just don't know how terrific this is. 59 00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:08,798 No, I don't know, 60 00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:10,767 because you ain't told me yet. 61 00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:11,968 Yeah, come on, tell us, Grady, 62 00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:13,102 because I got a date. 63 00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:14,137 Oh, I'm gonna tell you. 64 00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:15,539 I mean, I just can't wait to tell you. 65 00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:18,074 Well, you doing a pretty good job so far. 66 00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:21,144 Fred, my very best friend, 67 00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:23,446 I want you to be the first to know. 68 00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:25,915 Well, go ahead, go ahead. Tell me. 69 00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:27,684 I give you three guesses. 70 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:30,153 I'll give you five of these. 71 00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:32,255 Oh, come on. Guess. 72 00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:35,947 Okay, okay. You are... Getting married. 73 00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:40,029 What did you say? 74 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,632 I said I'm getting married. 75 00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:43,633 Hey! 76 00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:44,867 Congratulations, Grady. 77 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:45,868 I think that's terrific. 78 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:46,903 Yeah, thanks. 79 00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:48,338 Come on, Fred. Congratulate me. 80 00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:49,839 I'm getting married. 81 00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:52,041 That's impossible. 82 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,211 Why is it impossible? 83 00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:58,348 Because it takes two people to get married. 84 00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:01,284 Now, who's gonna marry Grady? 85 00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:02,552 None other 86 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,554 than the sweetest, prettiest little thing 87 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:05,955 in the whole wide world. 88 00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:07,090 I'm getting married. 89 00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:09,125 You just wait until you see her, 90 00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:11,728 and then you'll see that I'm telling you the truth. 91 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:15,164 She is a perfect jewel. 92 00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:18,857 If she's marrying you, she's a perfect fool. 93 00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:23,005 Say, when are we gonna meet her, Grady? 94 00:04:23,029 --> 00:04:24,974 Tonight, as soon as she gets off from work, 95 00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,976 she's gonna take the bus on over 96 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:31,047 and I'm go walk down to the bus stop and pick her up. 97 00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:33,617 Well, Grady, how did all this happen? 98 00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:36,319 Fred, it was... It was just like in a storybook. 99 00:04:36,343 --> 00:04:38,255 It was so romantic. 100 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:39,856 Well, where did you meet this girl, Grady? 101 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,613 At J.C. Penney's. 102 00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:46,062 It was... It was in the tie department. 103 00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:48,598 You see, I was looking for this new tie, 104 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:51,801 and I couldn't decide on what color to get... 105 00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:54,571 you know, between the stripes and solids, 106 00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:58,207 and suddenly, I heard this sweet little voice saying, 107 00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:01,466 "Have you ever tried paisley"? 108 00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:05,348 That's what she said. 109 00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:08,184 Have I ever tried paisley! 110 00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:09,352 Grady, we don't want to hear 111 00:05:09,376 --> 00:05:11,454 all that old "he said, she said" stuff. 112 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:12,489 No, no, no, Fred. 113 00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:15,158 I was just coming to the exciting part. 114 00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:16,459 Well... well, get to it. 115 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:19,262 Well, after she held this tie up next to my beard, 116 00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:22,999 she said, "I think this goes nice with your beard." 117 00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:24,033 And it did, 118 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,869 because the tie was a sort of a maroon 119 00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:28,327 and my beard is a charcoal gray. 120 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:30,807 And you know 121 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:34,444 that charcoal gray and maroon go real nice together. 122 00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:38,114 Is that the exciting part, Grady? 123 00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:40,216 Oh, no, no. 124 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:43,620 See, when she handed me the box with the new tie in it, 125 00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:48,358 her hand touched mine, and I got the shivers. 126 00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:51,249 Did she have warts? 127 00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:54,997 No. 128 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,734 It was... it was just a feeling I got. 129 00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:00,537 So, I hung around until she got off of work 130 00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:01,705 and then we went out 131 00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:03,673 and had us a couple of Fatburgers 132 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,075 and that's when I knew she was mine. 133 00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:07,577 She paid for them? 134 00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:09,045 No, she didn't pay for them. 135 00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:10,980 Well, how could two Fatburgers tell you she was yours? 136 00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:13,015 Well, when we ordered, she said, 137 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,184 "hold the onions on mine." 138 00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:18,977 And that told me right then that she was ready for business. 139 00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:25,950 So, I immediately yelled out, "hold my onions too!" 140 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:29,065 I knew we weren't gonna waste any time 141 00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:32,201 with any handshakes when I took her home. 142 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:35,938 So, proposed right there as we were splitting the bill, 143 00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:37,774 and she said "yes!" 144 00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:40,109 Now, what do you think about that? 145 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:43,380 ♪ It was a lucky April shower ♪ 146 00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:46,215 Grady, Grady, Grady. Please. Please, Grady. 147 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:50,319 Don't dance on my imitation Persian original rug. 148 00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:51,320 Hey, Pop. 149 00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:52,321 Leave Grady alone, man. 150 00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:53,322 He's happy. 151 00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:54,557 I sure am. 152 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:57,026 I feel a warm sensation in my heart. 153 00:06:57,050 --> 00:07:00,752 That ain't no sensation. That's gas. 154 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:06,235 See, you don't need no wife. 155 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,192 What you need is a good physic. 156 00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:12,509 Would you stop putting Grady down 157 00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:13,976 just because he's in love? 158 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,077 So he's in love 159 00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:16,846 that don't mean he gotta get married. 160 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:18,314 Get engaged. 161 00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:20,316 What's the point in getting engaged, Fred? 162 00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:24,654 I want to get right to the goodies. 163 00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:27,256 Yeah, but getting engaged is... 164 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,959 Is like, uh, having somebody else's credit card. 165 00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:33,730 You can get everything you want and don't have to pay for it. 166 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:34,731 Oh, I don't know, Fred. 167 00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:35,732 You see, if I wait, 168 00:07:35,756 --> 00:07:37,700 she might find somebody else. 169 00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:39,536 Grady, if she's marrying you, 170 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:43,873 you can rest assured there is nobody else. 171 00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:47,343 No, now, you just wait until you see her, 172 00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:50,346 and see how adorable and charming she is. 173 00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:53,115 Lamont, put my wine on ice for me. 174 00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:56,052 I'm gonna go get my honey-bunny sugar-plum. 175 00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:58,054 Now, I'll be right back. Just wait here. 176 00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,289 ♪ I found A million-dollar baby... ♪ 177 00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:02,459 Now, there they are now. 178 00:08:02,483 --> 00:08:04,260 Now, don't go spoiling it for Grady, all right? 179 00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:05,428 I ain't gonna spoil nothing. 180 00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:07,029 You don't have to try to raise me. 181 00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:08,030 You're my kid. 182 00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:09,265 I understand that, 183 00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:11,033 but just relax is what I'm trying to tell you. 184 00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:12,301 I know how to act. All right. 185 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,570 Grady. 186 00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:15,738 Well, here I am with the girl of my dreams. 187 00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:18,575 Now get ready to meet my little dove. 188 00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:20,198 Okay, now, close your eyes. 189 00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:24,369 And here she is! 190 00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:40,964 This is... This is Dolly Simpson, my Dolly. 191 00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:42,164 Dolly, honey, 192 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:45,869 this is my best friend, Fred... 193 00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:50,006 And that's his loving son Lamont. 194 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,908 So very glad to meet you. 195 00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:54,465 I see you do laundry? 196 00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:58,648 It's awfully nice meeting you, Miss Dolly. 197 00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:00,282 Grady's told us so much about you, 198 00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:02,218 and... and Pop and I wish you the best 199 00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:03,620 in your new marriage. Don't we, Pop? 200 00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:06,222 Hmm? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 201 00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:07,223 Oh, thank you. Thank you. 202 00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:08,424 Fred's gonna be the best man 203 00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:09,526 at the wedding, hon. 204 00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:10,994 Yeah, well, I'd like to stay and chat with you, 205 00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:12,595 but I got to be running off. 206 00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:13,997 Miss Dolly, it was nice meeting you, 207 00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:16,198 and again, best wishes. Oh, thank you, son. 208 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,601 Grady, why don't you and Dolly sit over there on the couch, 209 00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:21,426 and I'll be right back soon as I say goodbye to Lamont. 210 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,985 Whoo... 211 00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:40,122 Did you hear him say "My little dove"? 212 00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:45,361 He don't know a dove from a buzzard. 213 00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:47,296 Did you ever see anything 214 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,866 as ugly as that in your life? 215 00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:51,968 Yeah, but I think it was on Halloween. 216 00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:53,202 Yeah... 217 00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:56,806 It was probably carved in a pumpkin. Wow! 218 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,808 Stop it, Grady. 219 00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:00,977 You old silly. 220 00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:04,669 That's me, just an old silly. 221 00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:10,887 How you two getting along? 222 00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:13,823 Oh, just fine, Fred. Just fine. 223 00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:14,824 I was really looking forward 224 00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:15,825 to meeting you, Fred. 225 00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:17,927 Yeah, I told her all about you. 226 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,029 You'd be surprised at the wonderful things 227 00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:22,164 Grady has told me about you. 228 00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:23,733 Yeah, and Grady's told me 229 00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:25,602 lot of things about you too, uh... 230 00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:28,304 Molly... Dolly... uh, Jolly... 231 00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:31,796 and I still don't believe it. 232 00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:36,178 Grady's told me about you having him over 233 00:10:36,202 --> 00:10:38,247 to watch TV with you every night. 234 00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:39,381 Just about every night. 235 00:10:39,405 --> 00:10:41,350 Well, now that we're getting married, 236 00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:43,319 he won't be doing that anymore. 237 00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:44,553 He won't? 238 00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:45,955 No, because all of his nights 239 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,757 are gonna be spent with his lady. 240 00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:51,928 Ooh, all my nights with my lady. 241 00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:53,529 You see, he wouldn't need TV 242 00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:55,397 long as he has his Dolly to look at. 243 00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:58,534 Not when I got my Dolly to look at! 244 00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:01,938 I do appreciate your taking 245 00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:04,206 such good care of my man, Fred, 246 00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:06,342 but not I'm just gonna have to steal him away. 247 00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:08,945 Yeah, steal me away, honey. 248 00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:12,348 She gonna steal me away, Fred. 249 00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:16,252 That's called petty larceny. 250 00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:18,721 But look at it this way, Fred. 251 00:11:18,745 --> 00:11:19,922 When we get married, 252 00:11:19,946 --> 00:11:21,590 you won't be losing a friend, 253 00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:23,559 you'll be gaining a Dolly. 254 00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:29,465 Oh, Grady, you say the cleverest things. 255 00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:32,001 Yeah... I do. 256 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:34,637 This calls for a drink. 257 00:11:34,661 --> 00:11:37,562 Yeah, this calls for a drink. 258 00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:10,740 Hey, goodnight, Pop. 259 00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:12,274 Hey, man, if you're gonna watch television, 260 00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:14,643 why don't you try turning on the set? 261 00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:16,913 Because I forgot. 262 00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:18,715 You want me to turn it on for you? 263 00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:19,716 I don't care. 264 00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:21,117 Hey, what's the matter with you, Pop? 265 00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:22,318 Come on. Snap out of it, man. 266 00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:24,087 It just don't seem right, 267 00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:25,988 watching television without Grady, 268 00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:29,058 and tonight we were gonna watch his favorite show... 269 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:33,730 The Giant Porcupine Visits the Sick People. 270 00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:36,232 Well, you know, you gonna have to get used 271 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:37,767 to Grady not being here all the time, 272 00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:40,136 cause he's got a woman now, Pop, and that's... 273 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,904 that's more fun than watching television. 274 00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:45,641 I'd rather watch Wild Kingdom. 275 00:12:45,665 --> 00:12:49,045 She should have her own show. 276 00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:53,482 "Wild, Wild World of Dogs." 277 00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:55,618 Yeah, well, you're just gonna have to adjust to the fact 278 00:12:55,642 --> 00:12:57,419 that Grady is not gonna be here every night. 279 00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,188 Yeah, and I ain't got nobody to visit with me 280 00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:00,422 because you go out all the time. 281 00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:01,457 Hey, face it, Pop. 282 00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:02,925 The two of them are getting married, man, 283 00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,761 and you are gonna be the best man, 284 00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:05,762 and by the way, 285 00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:06,763 do you know what that means? 286 00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:07,964 What? 287 00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:10,922 You get to be the first one to kiss the bride. 288 00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:16,527 I'd rather kiss Mighty Joe Young's armpits. 289 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,779 Now, you know, Pop, 290 00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:23,780 if she looked halfway good, 291 00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:26,082 you'd be trying to steal her for yourself. 292 00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:27,083 Who, me? Yes, you. 293 00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:28,217 I wouldn't mess 294 00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:29,318 with my best friend's girlfriend. 295 00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:30,753 I'm not that type of guy. 296 00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:33,756 You got to be awful low-down to do something like that. 297 00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:35,357 Yes, you do. Well, I'll see you, Pop. 298 00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:36,358 I'm going over to Julio's. 299 00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:37,359 Going to Julio's? 300 00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:39,483 Well, don't drink the water. 301 00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:42,431 I'm ashamed of you, 302 00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,033 thinking I would do something like that 303 00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:45,501 to my best friend. 304 00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:47,804 Fool around with his girlfriend. 305 00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:49,906 I think that's the lowest possible human being 306 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,207 in the world. 307 00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,309 A man got to be low-down and dirty 308 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:56,412 and a snake in the grass to fool around with... 309 00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:58,303 fool around with... 310 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,420 ♪ Mm, la, la, la, la ♪ 311 00:14:20,126 --> 00:14:21,470 Operator? 312 00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:24,362 Get me the number at J.C. Penney. 313 00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:26,709 No, no, no. 314 00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:29,600 The one... the one in the ghetto. 315 00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:33,972 No, no. Way past Manchester. 316 00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:37,208 Thanks a lot. 317 00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:57,206 Hello, Dolly. 318 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,374 Hi. 319 00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,876 Hello, Dolly. 320 00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:01,677 ♪ It's so nice To have you back ♪ 321 00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:02,979 ♪ Where you belong ♪ 322 00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:04,780 Am I early? Where's Grady? 323 00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:06,182 Oh, he's gonna be a little late. 324 00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:07,984 Come over and have a seat on the couch 325 00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:08,985 and make yourself at home. 326 00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:10,086 Ah, how nice. 327 00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:12,355 You can have... why don't you try 328 00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:14,913 some of these Horse Divers? 329 00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:20,763 Some of these what? 330 00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:22,298 Ah, Horse Divers. 331 00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:25,101 You see, that's French for appetizers. 332 00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,103 Try one of them there with the baloney on it, 333 00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:30,306 and dip it in the mustard and shove it in your chops. 334 00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:32,997 I mean, put it in your mouth. Excuse me. 335 00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,016 It's very nice of you 336 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,018 to have us over for dinner, Fred. 337 00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:43,585 Well, that is what friends are for. 338 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:44,653 You know what I mean. 339 00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:46,855 The least we can do is fix you a nice dinner 340 00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:49,191 because you won't be doing that stuff no more. 341 00:15:49,215 --> 00:15:50,626 Stuff like what? 342 00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,028 You know, like, when you get married, 343 00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:53,429 when you get off of work late 344 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:56,299 and you have to rush right home and fix Grady's dinner, 345 00:15:56,323 --> 00:16:00,502 and iron his shirts, and wash his drawers. 346 00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:03,772 Mr. Sanford, Grady is marrying me. 347 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,074 What he does from now on 348 00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:07,509 really is just none of your business. 349 00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:08,544 Well, that's true. 350 00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:09,745 I just want to wish you 351 00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:10,947 the best of success and happiness, 352 00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:11,981 and everything. 353 00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:13,382 Let's have a drink and toast it. 354 00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:14,383 That would be nice. 355 00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:17,008 Yeah, that would be wonderful. 356 00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:20,489 I got some good sparkling Burgundy here. 357 00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:21,523 You do? 358 00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:24,126 Yeah. Cold Duck, 59. 359 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:27,629 '59, was that a good year? 360 00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:30,521 No, that's a good price. 361 00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:38,274 Uh, Dolly let me toast a little toast to you 362 00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:40,164 for your matrimony. 363 00:16:42,735 --> 00:16:45,014 Watch it, you clumsy fool, look what you've done! 364 00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:46,915 Oh, forgive me. 365 00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:48,484 What... Look at... 366 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,885 What is this? Look. Look at me. 367 00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:51,820 I apologize! 368 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,922 Well, just look at me. 369 00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:57,815 I looked at you. Can't I just apologize? 370 00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,533 Well, what am I gonna do now? 371 00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:06,335 Well... well... Look, Dolly, listen. Here's what you do. 372 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:07,970 You go upstairs and take your dress off, 373 00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:09,571 and see if you can wash it out 374 00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:10,606 with some cold water. 375 00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:12,108 You throw it down, and I'll do it. 376 00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:13,609 Go on upstairs and... and wash it out. 377 00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:15,211 Wait a minute. Here, take this with you, 378 00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:16,445 to take the chill off. 379 00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:20,449 Oh, you clumsy... Dolly, just take it off, 380 00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:23,052 and... and... and there is a robe in the bathroom, on the nail, 381 00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:24,720 and put that robe on. 382 00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:26,355 It's Lamont's robe. 383 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:29,080 Throw the dress down. 384 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,932 I'm coming. Wait a minute. 385 00:17:58,678 --> 00:17:59,988 Hey, I'm coming! 386 00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:01,524 Come on, Fred! 387 00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:03,426 I'll just... 388 00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:05,428 Wait a minute. Here I come now! 389 00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:07,818 Almost ready. 390 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,342 What are you doing here, Grady? 391 00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:22,378 What... what do you mean, what am I doing here? 392 00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:24,113 I came for supper, like you said. 393 00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:25,247 Well, I didn't know 394 00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:26,648 you was gonna get here this early. 395 00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:27,950 Early? This ain't early. 396 00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:28,984 What's wrong with you, Fred? 397 00:18:29,008 --> 00:18:30,186 Why you acting so weird? 398 00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:32,688 And what you doing with that robe on? 399 00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,356 Which question you want me to answer first? 400 00:18:34,380 --> 00:18:36,959 Why I'm acting weird, or why I have the robe on? 401 00:18:36,983 --> 00:18:38,427 Where is Dolly? 402 00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:39,828 Dolly? 403 00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:41,497 Yeah. Yeah, Dolly. My Dolly. 404 00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:42,598 Is she here? 405 00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:43,966 Uh... your Dolly? 406 00:18:43,990 --> 00:18:44,967 She ain't here. 407 00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:46,368 Well, they told me on her job 408 00:18:46,392 --> 00:18:48,937 that she left for here right after work. 409 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,739 Well, listen, maybe she got stuck on the bus. 410 00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:52,641 I mean, why don't you go down at the bus stop 411 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,643 and wait for her, and both of you come back. 412 00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:57,446 Now, Fred, you know I don't want to walk down to no bus stop. 413 00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:59,648 You know how my bunions hurt when I walk too much. 414 00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:01,850 Anyway, something strange going on here, 415 00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:02,851 now, what's going on? 416 00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:03,852 Nothing. 417 00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:05,187 Absolutely nothing. 418 00:19:05,211 --> 00:19:07,331 Ain't nothing going on in this... I swear to... 419 00:19:11,618 --> 00:19:13,295 What's the matter, Grady? 420 00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:15,598 What's going on, Fred? 421 00:19:15,622 --> 00:19:16,898 What do you mean? 422 00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:18,501 What do you mean, what's going on? 423 00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:22,493 I mean, what's going on, and... and... and off. 424 00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:26,142 You see, I can explain it, Grady. 425 00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:27,376 You see, here's what happened. 426 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:28,410 I was fixing a couple drinks 427 00:19:28,434 --> 00:19:29,578 for Dolly and I, 428 00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:31,580 to celebrate your wedding, and I tripped on the rug 429 00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:32,981 and spilled the drink in her lap, 430 00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,983 and she went upstairs to rinse out, in cold water... 431 00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,385 so the dress stain wouldn't stay there... 432 00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:38,053 and Lamont's old robe was on the nail in the bathroom 433 00:19:38,077 --> 00:19:39,087 and she put it on, 434 00:19:39,111 --> 00:19:40,556 and me, being the gentleman that I am, 435 00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:41,957 when she put the robe on, 436 00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:46,016 I put mine on so I wouldn't embarrass her. 437 00:19:49,222 --> 00:19:52,423 Ain't that right, baby... I mean, Dolly? 438 00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:57,273 That's right, that's exactly what happened. 439 00:19:57,297 --> 00:20:01,877 And you expect me to believe a cock-and-bull story like that? 440 00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:03,312 It's true. 441 00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:05,947 Oh no, I don't have to believe a cock-and-bull story like that. 442 00:20:05,971 --> 00:20:06,948 It's the truth. 443 00:20:06,972 --> 00:20:07,983 You've gotta believe it. 444 00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:08,984 Please believe it, Grady. 445 00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:10,152 Oh, no. 446 00:20:10,176 --> 00:20:11,420 Only a fool would believe 447 00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:12,954 a cock-and bull story like that. 448 00:20:12,978 --> 00:20:14,756 Now, do I look like a fool? 449 00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:16,858 You don't look like no fool. 450 00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:18,194 Well, only a fool would think 451 00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:19,361 that I would believe 452 00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:20,762 a cock-and-bull story like that. 453 00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:21,763 Wait a minute. 454 00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:23,487 Who you calling a fool, fool? 455 00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:28,470 I think he was talking to you, Dolly. 456 00:20:28,494 --> 00:20:31,106 Well, I'm not gonna stand here and be called a fool 457 00:20:31,130 --> 00:20:33,909 by an old fool like you, fool! 458 00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:36,745 I think she was talking to you, Grady. 459 00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:39,648 An... an... an old fool, am I? 460 00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:41,684 Do... do... do you know what you are? 461 00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:42,685 You're a... 462 00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:44,052 what's that woman's name in the Bible? 463 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:47,411 Um, um, uh... Jezebel! That's what you are. 464 00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:52,461 You a Jezebel, 465 00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:55,531 because she was... She was, um, uh... 466 00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:57,233 Wicked, that's right. 467 00:20:57,257 --> 00:20:58,701 Wicked. 468 00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:00,102 You can't talk to me that way. 469 00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:02,003 Oh, yes, I can too. 470 00:21:02,027 --> 00:21:04,306 Oh, yes, he can. 471 00:21:04,330 --> 00:21:06,609 There's... there's a word for women like you 472 00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:08,009 who go around flaunting their bodies 473 00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:09,745 just to get a man's money. 474 00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:10,979 You... you a female uh... 475 00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:12,781 Gigolo. Gigolo, that's what you are! 476 00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:15,284 Your money? You don't even have any! 477 00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:16,719 And even if I did, 478 00:21:16,743 --> 00:21:18,920 I wouldn't let you get your hands on it. You... you... you... 479 00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:19,988 Gold digger! 480 00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:21,044 Gold digger! 481 00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:24,760 Wanting to marry me for my money. 482 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:27,028 I wouldn't marry you for nothing. 483 00:21:27,052 --> 00:21:29,298 Look, I don't even want to see you again. 484 00:21:29,322 --> 00:21:30,999 Get out of my way, 485 00:21:31,023 --> 00:21:33,068 you and your funny-looking charcoal gray beard. 486 00:21:33,092 --> 00:21:34,892 I'm leaving. 487 00:21:37,764 --> 00:21:41,632 Where's she going with my robe? 488 00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:48,016 I don't know and I don't care, because I'm leaving too. 489 00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:51,754 Yeah, but where's she going with my robe? 490 00:21:51,778 --> 00:21:53,789 I... I... I don't know, son, I... 491 00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:57,593 I was just... I was just standing here. 492 00:21:57,617 --> 00:21:58,661 Now, come on, Pop. 493 00:21:58,685 --> 00:22:00,562 Now tell me what was going on here, man, 494 00:22:00,586 --> 00:22:02,964 her in my bathrobe and you in yours. 495 00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:04,166 Well, I'll tell you what happened. 496 00:22:04,190 --> 00:22:05,534 See, I was getting a couple of drinks 497 00:22:05,558 --> 00:22:06,935 and I brought them over to Dolly 498 00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:08,470 and stumbled on the rug 499 00:22:08,494 --> 00:22:09,871 and spilled the drink in her lap 500 00:22:09,895 --> 00:22:11,440 and she went upstairs to wash the stain out 501 00:22:11,464 --> 00:22:12,441 and she put on your robe 502 00:22:12,465 --> 00:22:13,442 that was hanging on the nail 503 00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:14,443 in the bathroom 504 00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:16,211 and when she put your robe on... 505 00:22:16,235 --> 00:22:18,079 I... I... I, being the gentleman that I am, 506 00:22:18,103 --> 00:22:19,548 I put my robe on 507 00:22:19,572 --> 00:22:21,917 so that she wouldn't be embarrassed. 508 00:22:21,941 --> 00:22:23,919 And you expected Grady 509 00:22:23,943 --> 00:22:27,823 to believe a cock-and-bull story like that? 510 00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:29,858 It's not my fault he didn't believe it. 511 00:22:29,882 --> 00:22:31,694 It was true. 512 00:22:31,718 --> 00:22:34,062 Well, knowing you, it probably is the truth. 513 00:22:34,086 --> 00:22:36,465 It is the truth, and I've always said 514 00:22:36,489 --> 00:22:40,023 that truth will set you free. 515 00:22:41,293 --> 00:22:45,006 Really, and I told Grady the truth, 516 00:22:45,030 --> 00:22:47,898 and set him free. 517 00:22:53,906 --> 00:22:55,217 Yeah, that's great, Pop, 518 00:22:55,241 --> 00:22:58,053 but where is she going with my robe? 519 00:22:58,077 --> 00:22:59,855 You still talking about that robe? 520 00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:00,989 That was my robe. 521 00:23:01,013 --> 00:23:02,190 I know it was your robe. 522 00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:04,092 Why don't you give her your robe? 523 00:23:04,116 --> 00:23:05,293 Because this is my robe! 524 00:23:05,317 --> 00:23:07,295 I had to have something to put on, didn't I? 525 00:23:07,319 --> 00:23:08,497 Yeah, but what about my robe? 526 00:23:08,521 --> 00:23:09,598 She'll bring your robe back. 527 00:23:09,622 --> 00:23:10,833 Yeah, but I might as well... 528 00:23:10,857 --> 00:23:12,067 You're not complaining about a robe. 529 00:23:12,091 --> 00:23:13,369 Take my robe! 530 00:23:13,393 --> 00:23:15,259 Here's my robe! 531 00:23:29,174 --> 00:23:30,352 Hi, son. 532 00:23:30,376 --> 00:23:32,120 You going out or you gonna stay home 533 00:23:32,144 --> 00:23:33,589 and watch the Roller Derby with me? 534 00:23:33,613 --> 00:23:34,723 Going out, Pop. 535 00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:36,658 You missing a good one tonight. 536 00:23:36,682 --> 00:23:38,894 Look here, they got the Tulsa Titwillows 537 00:23:38,918 --> 00:23:43,832 versus the San Diego Sap Suckers. 538 00:23:43,856 --> 00:23:47,102 Sounds like a dynamite bill, but I think I'm gonna hat up. 539 00:23:47,126 --> 00:23:49,438 Hey, is Grady coming over here? 540 00:23:49,462 --> 00:23:50,706 Oh, he might be coming around, 541 00:23:50,730 --> 00:23:54,676 now that he's busted up with old Deputy Dog. 542 00:23:54,700 --> 00:23:55,677 Stop it. 543 00:23:55,701 --> 00:23:57,112 Well, I'll see you later, Pop. 544 00:23:58,270 --> 00:24:01,082 Hey, I bet that's Grady now. 545 00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:02,284 Hi, Grady. 546 00:24:02,308 --> 00:24:04,842 Get out my way, Lamont. 547 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:11,894 You expect me to believe a cock-and-bull story like that? 548 00:24:11,918 --> 00:24:13,016 Get out my way, Lamont. 549 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:25,162 Well, I guess it's just Sanford and the Sap Suckers. 38853

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