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1
00:00:05,909 --> 00:00:07,769
Previously, on
"Resident Alien"...
2
00:00:07,854 --> 00:00:09,894
I think this alien's here
to kill everybody.
3
00:00:09,987 --> 00:00:13,262
You will help me
find my device.
4
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,279
That's on the glacier.
You can't go there.
5
00:00:15,363 --> 00:00:17,645
Harry, don't go!
It's too dangerous.
6
00:00:17,730 --> 00:00:19,910
- Not for me.
- Harry!
7
00:00:19,995 --> 00:00:21,026
You have kids?
8
00:00:21,111 --> 00:00:22,376
We have a little boy
named Max.
9
00:00:22,461 --> 00:00:23,433
Max.
10
00:00:23,518 --> 00:00:25,175
You should take my number.
Call anytime.
11
00:00:25,260 --> 00:00:28,303
When I find my device,
I can finally kill them all.
12
00:00:28,388 --> 00:00:31,130
- Harry!
- Don't move.
13
00:00:33,858 --> 00:00:36,821
I am what your people
call an extraterrestrial.
14
00:00:36,906 --> 00:00:37,997
Oh.
15
00:00:38,081 --> 00:00:40,246
- An alien.
- Oh, I feel nauseous.
16
00:00:40,331 --> 00:00:42,543
You earn respect
through your actions, Deputy.
17
00:00:42,628 --> 00:00:43,965
Did you make
your own murder board?
18
00:00:44,050 --> 00:00:45,981
Toxicology results.
Sam was poisoned.
19
00:00:46,066 --> 00:00:48,115
You don't respect me,
and you never have.
20
00:00:48,199 --> 00:00:49,722
I quit!
21
00:00:49,905 --> 00:00:52,508
I'm not quitting.
I'm gonna get us out of here.
22
00:00:54,117 --> 00:00:55,818
- Tell me how to help you.
- My leg.
23
00:00:55,902 --> 00:00:59,213
I will die
if you don't chop it off.
24
00:00:59,297 --> 00:01:01,737
Okay, look at me.
I won't let you die.
25
00:01:03,083 --> 00:01:04,696
Aah!
26
00:01:06,304 --> 00:01:08,004
Do my feet look
like watermelons?
27
00:01:08,088 --> 00:01:09,397
'Cause they feel like it.
28
00:01:09,481 --> 00:01:11,138
The sexiest watermelons
29
00:01:11,222 --> 00:01:12,530
I've ever seen.
30
00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:16,273
Still so much to do
before"Jack" or "Joanie" comes.
31
00:01:16,357 --> 00:01:19,233
We need crib sheets
and burp cloths.
32
00:01:19,317 --> 00:01:21,148
Couples massage.
33
00:01:21,232 --> 00:01:24,238
So where do we stand
34
00:01:24,322 --> 00:01:26,283
on baby food?
35
00:01:26,367 --> 00:01:29,373
Jarred or homemade?
36
00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:30,853
I don't know.
I read somewhere homemade
37
00:01:30,937 --> 00:01:33,377
doesn't keep as well.
A little too lumpy.
38
00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:35,466
Plus, I've tried
baby applesauce,
39
00:01:35,550 --> 00:01:37,599
and it's freakin' delicious.
40
00:01:41,426 --> 00:01:43,431
What's happening?
41
00:01:48,302 --> 00:01:50,478
I don't know.
42
00:01:56,963 --> 00:01:59,357
Oh, my God.
43
00:02:04,144 --> 00:02:06,625
Honey!
44
00:02:11,325 --> 00:02:15,329
Oh.
Honey, the baby.
45
00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:20,903
Uh, uh...
46
00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:23,946
Okay.
47
00:02:38,836 --> 00:02:40,882
You saw that, right?
48
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:01,472
*RESIDENT ALIEN*
Season 01 Episode 09
49
00:03:01,557 --> 00:03:03,106
Episode Title: "Welcome Aliens"
Aired on: March 24, 2021
50
00:03:03,190 --> 00:03:04,629
I'm dead.
51
00:03:04,812 --> 00:03:08,310
But if I'm dead, why do
I feel so warm and squishy
52
00:03:08,395 --> 00:03:10,269
like I'm being hugged
by a cloud?
53
00:03:10,384 --> 00:03:11,693
Oh, no.
54
00:03:11,777 --> 00:03:13,651
This must be the afterlife.
55
00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:16,437
I'm in human heaven.
56
00:03:16,521 --> 00:03:18,472
It makes me want
to kill myself.
57
00:03:18,557 --> 00:03:21,389
I see the morphine
is still working.
58
00:03:21,474 --> 00:03:23,348
What are you doing here?
59
00:03:23,433 --> 00:03:25,786
Why does the afterlife
60
00:03:25,871 --> 00:03:28,747
look like a crappy cabin?
61
00:03:28,832 --> 00:03:30,141
Are you dead too?
62
00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:32,035
I didn't want
to leave you alone
63
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:34,581
after what you'd been through.
Come on.
64
00:03:34,666 --> 00:03:37,284
You need to eat just so you
can get your strength back.
65
00:03:39,413 --> 00:03:41,546
Mmm.
66
00:03:45,254 --> 00:03:48,997
Now I know why you have 17
gallons of milk in your fridge.
67
00:03:50,765 --> 00:03:53,158
Okay, I need to change
your dressing.
68
00:03:54,225 --> 00:03:57,694
Um, I think we should,
you know,
69
00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,175
try to avoid suspicion.
70
00:03:59,259 --> 00:04:01,613
So I started looking into
getting you a prosthetic.
71
00:04:01,698 --> 00:04:05,224
I know... what the freakin' hell
is that?
72
00:04:05,308 --> 00:04:07,444
That is my leg.
73
00:04:07,528 --> 00:04:09,400
It's regenerating.
74
00:04:10,444 --> 00:04:11,492
How is that even possible?
75
00:04:11,576 --> 00:04:13,494
My people are descendants
76
00:04:13,578 --> 00:04:15,713
of octopuses.
77
00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:17,759
Soon it will grow longer,
78
00:04:17,843 --> 00:04:21,502
and then I will transformthe
molecules into human shape.
79
00:04:21,586 --> 00:04:24,635
So you're telling me
eventually that thing
80
00:04:24,719 --> 00:04:27,769
- will look like that one?
- Yes.
81
00:04:27,853 --> 00:04:30,859
Except for the moleand the hangnail.
82
00:04:30,943 --> 00:04:34,558
I chewed my toenaildown too low.
83
00:04:36,339 --> 00:04:38,429
You can go now.
84
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,519
Excuse me?
85
00:04:42,694 --> 00:04:44,873
I stayed up all night.
86
00:04:44,957 --> 00:04:46,788
I got supplies.
I dressed your wounds.
87
00:04:46,872 --> 00:04:48,529
I cleaned you up,
and this is how you thank me?
88
00:04:48,613 --> 00:04:50,357
I didn't ask you to stay.
89
00:04:50,441 --> 00:04:52,489
Well, I did
90
00:04:52,573 --> 00:04:54,578
'cause that's what humans do.
91
00:04:54,662 --> 00:04:56,711
They take care of one another.
92
00:04:56,795 --> 00:04:59,061
You know, when some... I'm sorry,
93
00:04:59,145 --> 00:05:00,628
I can't take you seriously
with that thing.
94
00:05:00,712 --> 00:05:02,888
- What is wrong with it?
- It's perfectly normal.
95
00:05:03,315 --> 00:05:04,841
Jesus, can you just
96
00:05:05,026 --> 00:05:07,205
put a sock on it?
97
00:05:07,290 --> 00:05:08,852
It likes the fresh air.
98
00:05:08,937 --> 00:05:11,595
- Also, it's not a thing.
- It is a leg.
99
00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:13,812
You are leg-shaming me.
100
00:05:17,343 --> 00:05:19,171
Be careful with that.
101
00:05:19,644 --> 00:05:21,736
- No.
- Please be careful.
102
00:05:21,820 --> 00:05:24,434
Do not press the black button.
103
00:05:24,518 --> 00:05:28,003
I'm not ready to radiomy people yet.
104
00:05:28,087 --> 00:05:29,918
This black button?
105
00:05:30,002 --> 00:05:32,700
Asta.
106
00:05:33,841 --> 00:05:35,774
- Say thank you.
- Thank you.
107
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:42,493
- Oh!
- Thank you.
108
00:05:49,630 --> 00:05:51,110
You're welcome.
109
00:05:53,678 --> 00:05:55,509
Please do not move.
110
00:05:55,593 --> 00:05:57,598
I'm going to work, and I'll be back later.
111
00:05:57,682 --> 00:05:59,513
If all goes as planned,
112
00:05:59,597 --> 00:06:02,472
there won't be a "later."
113
00:06:02,556 --> 00:06:05,649
Yes.
Later.
114
00:06:20,875 --> 00:06:22,126
Shit!
115
00:06:31,063 --> 00:06:32,589
I knew it.
116
00:06:32,868 --> 00:06:34,740
Why are you ignoring my calls?
117
00:06:35,894 --> 00:06:38,421
Um, I'm sorry.
118
00:06:38,505 --> 00:06:41,337
- I've just been so busy.
- Ooh.
119
00:06:41,421 --> 00:06:44,166
'Cause last night,
you sent me inside to get help,
120
00:06:44,250 --> 00:06:46,560
and when I came back out,
you and Harry were gone, so...
121
00:06:46,644 --> 00:06:48,562
- - Yeah, uh, sorry.
- Harry was in bad shape.
122
00:06:48,646 --> 00:06:50,564
And I realizedwe didn't
have an MRI machine.
123
00:06:50,648 --> 00:06:52,606
So I took him to the hospitalin Braddock.
124
00:06:54,173 --> 00:06:55,609
What?
125
00:06:57,176 --> 00:07:00,356
I know you too well.
You're lying.
126
00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:02,967
I am not.
127
00:07:03,051 --> 00:07:05,535
Yeah, you are.
You have a tell.
128
00:07:05,619 --> 00:07:07,015
Oh, really?
What's my tell?
129
00:07:07,099 --> 00:07:08,886
Well, I can't tell you
because then you'd know
130
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:10,671
what the tell is and you'd
hide the tell from me,
131
00:07:10,755 --> 00:07:12,673
and I wouldn't be able to tell.
It's like...
132
00:07:12,757 --> 00:07:14,283
Wow, you ever thought
about working for the CIA?
133
00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:16,372
Yeah, actually,
I'm waiting to hear back.
134
00:07:16,456 --> 00:07:18,374
Hey, Asta.
135
00:07:18,458 --> 00:07:21,377
The doctor had me call Braddock
to follow up on Harry's MRI.
136
00:07:21,461 --> 00:07:23,597
But they have no record of it.
137
00:07:24,943 --> 00:07:27,209
That's a mistake.
So I'll take care of it.
138
00:07:27,293 --> 00:07:28,689
Thank you.
139
00:07:30,731 --> 00:07:32,385
Why is she staring
at you like that?
140
00:07:34,343 --> 00:07:35,478
What did you do?
141
00:07:35,562 --> 00:07:36,958
Don't you have better things
to do, Ellen?
142
00:07:37,042 --> 00:07:38,612
Maybe unpack the shipment
of catheters
143
00:07:38,696 --> 00:07:39,830
that came in this morning?
144
00:07:39,914 --> 00:07:41,873
Oh, right.
The fun stuff.
145
00:07:46,529 --> 00:07:48,401
Got my eye
on you, Twelvetrees.
146
00:07:59,934 --> 00:08:01,678
- The power source is damaged.
147
00:08:01,762 --> 00:08:04,289
Built to provide energy
for 5,000 years
148
00:08:04,373 --> 00:08:06,161
but apparently
not built to withstand
149
00:08:06,245 --> 00:08:08,464
an unprotected fall
into a crevasse.
150
00:08:09,117 --> 00:08:11,427
Certain alien races implant
tiny transmitters
151
00:08:11,511 --> 00:08:14,082
into human beings
to monitor their activity.
152
00:08:14,166 --> 00:08:15,866
If I can find one of those,
153
00:08:15,950 --> 00:08:18,216
I can reverse engineer it
to reboot my device.
154
00:08:28,833 --> 00:08:30,446
Aah!
Mmm.
155
00:08:30,530 --> 00:08:31,621
Yeah.
156
00:08:33,707 --> 00:08:35,669
I heard you fell down
a crevasse.
157
00:08:35,753 --> 00:08:37,627
Did you find your radio?
158
00:08:37,711 --> 00:08:40,587
My radio is broken.
159
00:08:40,671 --> 00:08:41,762
I'm trying to fix it.
160
00:08:41,846 --> 00:08:43,851
Well, maybe I can help.
161
00:08:43,935 --> 00:08:46,462
- Ah...
- Is this it?
162
00:08:46,546 --> 00:08:48,769
Don't touch that.
163
00:08:48,853 --> 00:08:51,598
You need...
164
00:08:51,682 --> 00:08:53,425
To leave.
165
00:08:53,509 --> 00:08:55,860
At least you're okay.
166
00:08:57,426 --> 00:08:59,344
If Asta wasn't there,
167
00:08:59,428 --> 00:09:00,998
I would be dead.
168
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,740
Except now she knows
the truth about me.
169
00:09:03,824 --> 00:09:05,263
You told her?!
170
00:09:05,347 --> 00:09:08,005
I thought this whole alien
thing was just our secret.
171
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,051
It stopped being a secret
172
00:09:10,135 --> 00:09:13,532
when you told
your little friend over there
173
00:09:13,616 --> 00:09:14,969
in the head covering.
174
00:09:15,053 --> 00:09:16,797
She must have followed me.
Don't worry.
175
00:09:16,881 --> 00:09:19,495
She's not gonna tell anyone.
176
00:09:19,579 --> 00:09:21,671
She swore to Allah.
177
00:09:21,755 --> 00:09:23,499
Allah knows?!
178
00:09:23,583 --> 00:09:25,411
How many people have you told?
179
00:09:29,676 --> 00:09:31,507
Are you trying to cut me out?
180
00:09:31,591 --> 00:09:33,814
'Cause if it wasn't for me,
you'd be in Georgia by now.
181
00:09:33,898 --> 00:09:36,686
I made this truce happen.
I want in.
182
00:09:36,770 --> 00:09:38,035
You are so pushy.
183
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:40,777
Oh, looks like aliens
184
00:09:40,861 --> 00:09:43,342
are also put off
by strong women.
185
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:46,519
Get used to it.
We're not going anywhere.
186
00:09:49,087 --> 00:09:50,439
What are you hiding
under there?
187
00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:52,484
I covered it for a reason.
188
00:09:52,568 --> 00:09:54,791
It's his radio
so he can contact his people.
189
00:09:54,875 --> 00:09:56,663
But it's broken.
So he's trying to fix it.
190
00:09:58,096 --> 00:09:59,970
Why can't you just go home
on your spaceship?
191
00:10:03,797 --> 00:10:05,759
They took it, didn't they?
192
00:10:05,843 --> 00:10:07,543
How did you know that?
193
00:10:07,627 --> 00:10:10,677
Must be the government.
That means they're after you.
194
00:10:10,761 --> 00:10:12,591
It could be
any of the agencies.
195
00:10:12,675 --> 00:10:15,029
But it's probably
"Men in Black."
196
00:10:15,113 --> 00:10:17,074
It's a top-secret agency
197
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:19,903
that monitors
alien activity on Earth.
198
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:21,905
But they don't always
wear black,
199
00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:23,469
and they're not only men.
200
00:10:24,949 --> 00:10:28,172
Then why do they call them
"Men in Black"?
201
00:10:28,256 --> 00:10:30,044
Because it's cooler
than calling them
202
00:10:30,128 --> 00:10:31,828
"People in Clothes."
203
00:10:31,912 --> 00:10:34,396
It's pretty obvious.
204
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,572
I'm not worried.
205
00:10:36,656 --> 00:10:41,359
Once I fix my radio,
206
00:10:41,443 --> 00:10:43,057
they won't be a problem.
207
00:10:43,141 --> 00:10:44,319
I'm just missing a part.
208
00:10:44,403 --> 00:10:45,886
Have you tried
the hardware store?
209
00:10:45,970 --> 00:10:47,322
They have everything.
210
00:10:47,406 --> 00:10:50,191
My dad even bought
a pair of pajamas there.
211
00:10:51,062 --> 00:10:53,894
Unless you know someone
who has been in contact
212
00:10:53,978 --> 00:10:55,069
with other aliens, then I'm...
213
00:10:55,153 --> 00:10:58,072
What is the expression?
214
00:10:58,156 --> 00:11:01,423
"Shit out of luck."
215
00:11:01,507 --> 00:11:03,904
If you don't stop using that
kind of language around us,
216
00:11:03,988 --> 00:11:05,906
we're gonna have to wash
your mouth out with soap.
217
00:11:05,990 --> 00:11:07,211
Go ahead.
I like soap.
218
00:11:07,295 --> 00:11:09,039
I eat it all the time.
219
00:11:09,123 --> 00:11:11,781
Shit, ass, piss, dink.
220
00:11:11,865 --> 00:11:13,954
Where is the soap?
I'm so hungry.
221
00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:19,525
Wait, I know where you can go
to find alien stuff.
222
00:11:23,703 --> 00:11:25,270
Oh.
223
00:11:31,145 --> 00:11:32,976
Hey!
Where are you going?
224
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,804
I need to go pick up
225
00:11:34,888 --> 00:11:37,546
a missing piece for my radio.
226
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:38,808
No.
227
00:11:38,892 --> 00:11:41,855
You are not driving
with one leg.
228
00:11:41,939 --> 00:11:43,900
Whoa!
229
00:11:43,984 --> 00:11:45,641
Your leg grew back.
230
00:11:45,725 --> 00:11:47,596
Just like I said it would.
231
00:11:49,033 --> 00:11:52,256
Now I have got to go.
232
00:11:52,340 --> 00:11:53,431
Okay.
233
00:11:53,515 --> 00:11:55,912
Even as a pretend doctor,
you have to know
234
00:11:55,996 --> 00:11:57,827
that the medication
still stays in your system.
235
00:11:57,911 --> 00:12:00,871
I just took more.
I'll be fine.
236
00:12:05,571 --> 00:12:07,663
Which one is my truck?
237
00:12:07,747 --> 00:12:09,360
Okay.
238
00:12:09,444 --> 00:12:11,536
Give me these.
239
00:12:11,620 --> 00:12:13,669
I will drive you.
240
00:12:13,753 --> 00:12:15,886
Where are we going?
241
00:12:16,321 --> 00:12:18,239
Wow.
We're really gonna do this.
242
00:12:23,763 --> 00:12:25,286
Are they supposed to be me?
243
00:12:26,940 --> 00:12:29,290
My people are not a costume.
244
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,424
Welcome to my life.
245
00:12:35,557 --> 00:12:38,343
Oh, this is gonna be fun.
246
00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:48,356
Kind of cool that I'm here
247
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,112
with an actual alien.
248
00:12:50,197 --> 00:12:51,462
I feel special.
249
00:12:51,547 --> 00:12:54,379
You're not special.
You're common.
250
00:12:54,794 --> 00:12:55,972
That's oddly
less offensive now
251
00:12:56,056 --> 00:12:57,974
that I know you're
from outer space.
252
00:12:59,407 --> 00:13:00,847
Here you go.
253
00:13:00,931 --> 00:13:02,065
Thank you.
254
00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:06,461
Okay.
So what now?
255
00:13:10,288 --> 00:13:12,467
Our ancestors had teachers.
256
00:13:12,551 --> 00:13:16,732
The engineering knowledge came
from the extraterrestrials.
257
00:13:16,816 --> 00:13:18,516
Finally, a little credit.
258
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,605
I like
this high-haired gentleman.
259
00:13:20,689 --> 00:13:23,173
♪ He's told us
not to blow it ♪
260
00:13:23,257 --> 00:13:26,046
♪ 'Cause he knows
it's all worthwhile ♪
261
00:13:26,130 --> 00:13:28,526
♪ He told me
let the children lose it ♪
262
00:13:28,610 --> 00:13:30,789
The Moon landing was a sham.
263
00:13:30,873 --> 00:13:33,705
It was all filmed
on a sound stage by Kubrick.
264
00:13:33,789 --> 00:13:36,360
The astronauts did land
on the Moon.
265
00:13:36,444 --> 00:13:37,840
Good.
266
00:13:37,924 --> 00:13:40,799
And their bodies were taken
over before they returned.
267
00:13:40,883 --> 00:13:42,323
What?
268
00:13:42,407 --> 00:13:44,891
And we find evidence of this
all around the world.
269
00:13:44,975 --> 00:13:47,894
Mayans, everyone talks
about their calendar,
270
00:13:47,978 --> 00:13:50,853
but they never gave credit
for their day planner.
271
00:13:50,937 --> 00:13:53,769
- We have the Grays.
- Insidious assholes.
272
00:13:53,853 --> 00:13:56,990
- The Arcturians.
- Jerks, so cheap.
273
00:13:57,074 --> 00:13:58,426
Little Green Men.
274
00:13:58,510 --> 00:14:01,733
They are cute,
but they so know it.
275
00:14:01,817 --> 00:14:03,997
- The Mantis.
- One of them owes me money.
276
00:14:04,081 --> 00:14:08,218
And the Blue Avians.
277
00:14:08,302 --> 00:14:09,912
They're actually very nice.
278
00:14:22,273 --> 00:14:24,365
Well, don't you two
look cozy?
279
00:14:24,449 --> 00:14:27,455
Hello, Sheriff.
280
00:14:27,539 --> 00:14:29,889
Do you have anything
you want to say to me?
281
00:14:31,325 --> 00:14:32,764
Well, I don't know.
282
00:14:32,848 --> 00:14:34,546
Do you have anything
you want to say to me?
283
00:14:36,113 --> 00:14:38,596
In that case, yes.
284
00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:40,160
Have a good day.
285
00:14:40,856 --> 00:14:42,383
Goodbye, Lewis.
I'll see you on Thursday.
286
00:14:42,467 --> 00:14:46,996
♪ Walked out
on over the plains ♪
287
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:48,911
Thursday.
288
00:14:48,995 --> 00:14:50,434
What's Thursday?
289
00:14:50,518 --> 00:14:52,045
We're having lunch.
290
00:14:52,129 --> 00:14:54,177
She's sitting here
probably trash-talking me,
291
00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:57,789
and you buying her lunch?
I see how it is.
292
00:14:57,873 --> 00:14:59,269
She didn't say anything.
293
00:14:59,353 --> 00:15:03,140
In fact, she mostly listened.
You could use that.
294
00:15:04,184 --> 00:15:05,754
What is that
supposed to mean?
295
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:08,844
Your relationship with Liv
reminds me of me and your mom
296
00:15:08,928 --> 00:15:10,625
before she up and left me.
297
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:12,630
You mean when she died?
298
00:15:12,714 --> 00:15:14,719
I'll never forgive her
for that.
299
00:15:14,803 --> 00:15:17,984
Your mother was sharp.
She always challenged me.
300
00:15:18,068 --> 00:15:19,463
When I messed up,
301
00:15:19,547 --> 00:15:20,899
she wouldn't let me
off the hook
302
00:15:20,983 --> 00:15:22,985
until I took steps to fix it.
303
00:15:24,074 --> 00:15:26,641
You might want to think
about that one.
304
00:15:27,599 --> 00:15:29,256
Order me a burger.
Be right back.
305
00:15:29,340 --> 00:15:30,474
Oh.
306
00:15:30,558 --> 00:15:32,607
Hey, hey, hey.
Dad, Dad.
307
00:15:32,691 --> 00:15:35,479
Hey, hey!
It's okay to ask for help.
308
00:15:35,563 --> 00:15:37,177
Look who's talking.
309
00:15:47,227 --> 00:15:50,146
♪ If you think
what you got is enough ♪
310
00:15:50,230 --> 00:15:52,105
♪ Then God gonna
call your bluff ♪
311
00:15:52,189 --> 00:15:55,105
♪ You got a long road ahead
312
00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:58,024
♪ Longer than you think
313
00:15:58,108 --> 00:16:00,588
♪ A long road ahead
314
00:16:10,642 --> 00:16:12,516
Sam's toxicology results
are in.
315
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,389
Botulinum Toxin A
levels are through the roof.
316
00:16:15,473 --> 00:16:17,782
Sam was poisoned.
317
00:16:17,866 --> 00:16:20,481
Maybe with insulin
as the method of delivery,
318
00:16:20,565 --> 00:16:23,919
all he or she would need to do
is inject the toxin
319
00:16:24,003 --> 00:16:26,835
into a single insulin vial
320
00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:29,922
and wait for Sam to use it.
321
00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:35,757
♪ Ooh
322
00:16:35,841 --> 00:16:39,108
Son of a bitch.
323
00:16:39,192 --> 00:16:41,284
♪ Wake up in the morning
324
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:44,157
♪ Rise and shine
325
00:16:44,241 --> 00:16:47,635
♪ Wake up in the morning,
rise and shine ♪
326
00:16:49,289 --> 00:16:51,860
♪ Wake up in the morning,
rise and shine ♪
327
00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:53,731
Hey, Sheriff, have a seat.
328
00:16:53,815 --> 00:16:56,082
I'll be with you in about ten.
329
00:16:56,166 --> 00:16:57,953
Yeah, well, I ain't here
on grooming business.
330
00:16:58,037 --> 00:17:00,608
I'm here on official
sheriff's business.
331
00:17:00,692 --> 00:17:02,175
I see you do Botox injections.
332
00:17:02,259 --> 00:17:03,915
Yeah.
333
00:17:03,999 --> 00:17:06,962
You'll need about 20 units
for that furrowed brow.
334
00:17:07,046 --> 00:17:08,224
Well, I got news for you.
335
00:17:08,308 --> 00:17:11,053
I like to furrow,
and I like the lines.
336
00:17:11,137 --> 00:17:12,707
Abigail Hodges,
you're under the arrest
337
00:17:12,791 --> 00:17:14,709
for the murder of Sam Hodges.
338
00:17:14,793 --> 00:17:16,189
What?!
What are you talking about?
339
00:17:16,273 --> 00:17:17,494
I'll tell you
what I'm talking about.
340
00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:19,279
You see, I went through
your phone records,
341
00:17:19,363 --> 00:17:20,715
and I found repeated calls,
342
00:17:20,799 --> 00:17:22,717
and I mean a shit ton of them,
to one number.
343
00:17:22,801 --> 00:17:25,673
You know who it belonged to?
Thomas Hoffman.
344
00:17:26,761 --> 00:17:27,896
Okay, fine.
345
00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:29,376
We are casually
seeing each other.
346
00:17:29,460 --> 00:17:31,247
But are you gonna arrest me
for having a social life?
347
00:17:31,331 --> 00:17:32,379
Can't a widow move on?
348
00:17:32,463 --> 00:17:33,815
Well, of course,
a widow can move on.
349
00:17:33,899 --> 00:17:35,904
The only problem
is those calls...
350
00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:38,907
They started way
before Sam died.
351
00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:40,691
You see, I think you wanted
to get rid of Sam
352
00:17:40,775 --> 00:17:41,736
'cause you was
having an affair.
353
00:17:41,820 --> 00:17:42,911
That's motive.
354
00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:44,695
Oh, now just hang
on a second...
355
00:17:44,779 --> 00:17:46,219
All you needed was
high levels of botulism,
356
00:17:46,303 --> 00:17:48,134
which you clearly
had access to.
357
00:17:48,218 --> 00:17:50,005
Then you took that poison,
and you put it
358
00:17:50,089 --> 00:17:51,398
in Sam's insulin bottle.
And then from there,
359
00:17:51,482 --> 00:17:53,008
it was a ticking timebomb
just waiting to go off.
360
00:17:53,092 --> 00:17:54,444
- No, just...
- And it finally did.
361
00:17:54,528 --> 00:17:55,837
Turn around and put your hands
behind your back.
362
00:17:55,921 --> 00:17:56,968
- Sheriff.
- Turn around.
363
00:17:57,052 --> 00:17:58,492
You have the right
to remain silent.
364
00:17:58,576 --> 00:17:59,841
Anything you say can
and will be used
365
00:17:59,925 --> 00:18:01,234
against you in a court of law.
366
00:18:01,318 --> 00:18:02,974
You got the right
to an attorney.
367
00:18:03,058 --> 00:18:04,454
If you cannot afford
an attorney,
368
00:18:04,538 --> 00:18:06,804
I'd be surprised because
this salon is bangin'.
369
00:18:06,888 --> 00:18:10,370
♪ Ooh, ooh
370
00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:16,162
What is it you're looking for
371
00:18:16,246 --> 00:18:18,251
at an alien experiencer panel?
372
00:18:18,335 --> 00:18:20,166
I'll know when I see it.
373
00:18:29,389 --> 00:18:33,222
Thank you.
Hi, I'm Peter Bach.
374
00:18:33,306 --> 00:18:35,137
Most of you know me
from my podcast
375
00:18:35,221 --> 00:18:37,270
as "The Alien Tracker."
376
00:18:37,354 --> 00:18:39,315
I have spent 15 years
377
00:18:39,399 --> 00:18:42,623
working at
the Carl Sagan Center at SETI.
378
00:18:42,707 --> 00:18:44,407
I've been
a government consultant.
379
00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:46,975
And if you've read my books,
you'll know I possess
380
00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:49,847
a special skill set
that makes aliens fear me.
381
00:18:49,931 --> 00:18:53,024
And, of course,
I had my own encounter,
382
00:18:53,108 --> 00:18:56,027
which was, well,
383
00:18:56,111 --> 00:18:58,465
terrifying to say the least.
384
00:18:58,549 --> 00:19:00,597
So it's my honest belief
385
00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:03,209
that aliens walk amongst us.
386
00:19:03,293 --> 00:19:05,994
And my mission has become
to find aliens,
387
00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:08,039
to trap them,
388
00:19:08,123 --> 00:19:10,343
and, well...
389
00:19:12,911 --> 00:19:17,310
One shot of this...
390
00:19:17,394 --> 00:19:20,571
10,000 volts,
I can knock out an elephant.
391
00:19:22,616 --> 00:19:23,838
You okay?
392
00:19:23,922 --> 00:19:25,883
Yes.
393
00:19:25,967 --> 00:19:27,581
I'm not an elephant.
394
00:19:27,665 --> 00:19:30,497
I also found that talking
about my encounter
395
00:19:30,581 --> 00:19:33,326
helped me feel
a sense of control.
396
00:19:33,410 --> 00:19:36,329
And I'd like you to think
of this as a safe forum
397
00:19:36,413 --> 00:19:38,156
where you can do the same.
398
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:40,071
So please, come on up
399
00:19:40,155 --> 00:19:42,204
and share with the room
400
00:19:42,288 --> 00:19:44,032
with no judgment,
401
00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:46,031
so we can all hear
about your experiences.
402
00:19:48,425 --> 00:19:51,822
I was driving home
late one night
403
00:19:51,906 --> 00:19:54,260
when this blue light
404
00:19:54,344 --> 00:19:56,523
beamed through
the roof of my car.
405
00:19:56,607 --> 00:19:58,829
I woke with these
triangular cuts...
406
00:19:58,913 --> 00:20:00,222
I was paralyzed.
407
00:20:00,306 --> 00:20:02,877
And lesions on my stomach
and across my back.
408
00:20:02,961 --> 00:20:04,574
It was horrible.
409
00:20:04,658 --> 00:20:05,662
Um...
410
00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:07,795
It's etched on
my brain forever.
411
00:20:07,879 --> 00:20:11,146
They strapped me to
this cold,
412
00:20:11,230 --> 00:20:13,540
hard metal surface.
413
00:20:13,624 --> 00:20:15,193
- They're monsters.
- And...
414
00:20:15,277 --> 00:20:16,543
And they are here to kill us.
415
00:20:16,627 --> 00:20:20,329
Took this long tubular rod
416
00:20:20,413 --> 00:20:24,028
and they put it in...
417
00:20:24,112 --> 00:20:26,379
In my...
418
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:32,341
He was going
to say his asshole.
419
00:20:32,425 --> 00:20:34,430
One night, a few months ago,
420
00:20:34,514 --> 00:20:37,825
my ex-husband
and I were fighting,
421
00:20:37,909 --> 00:20:40,654
which is sort of a usual
thing for us.
422
00:20:40,738 --> 00:20:42,569
Um...
423
00:20:42,653 --> 00:20:44,788
I finally decided
I'd had enough,
424
00:20:44,872 --> 00:20:46,399
so I ran out,
425
00:20:46,483 --> 00:20:48,401
but I wasn't sure
426
00:20:48,485 --> 00:20:50,835
if I was doing the right thing.
427
00:20:52,358 --> 00:20:54,494
And then I saw it.
428
00:20:54,578 --> 00:20:58,628
It was a fire in the sky,
429
00:20:58,712 --> 00:21:00,543
like a guiding light.
430
00:21:02,499 --> 00:21:05,418
It gave me strength.
431
00:21:05,502 --> 00:21:07,507
Strength to move on
and never look back.
432
00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:11,511
Months later,
I came into contact
433
00:21:11,595 --> 00:21:14,905
with who I now know
was the occupant of that UFO.
434
00:21:16,295 --> 00:21:17,778
Something about him
435
00:21:17,862 --> 00:21:20,955
made me feel safe
436
00:21:21,039 --> 00:21:23,476
and not alone.
437
00:21:24,346 --> 00:21:27,265
And I know that that's not
what you all have experienced.
438
00:21:27,349 --> 00:21:29,442
But trust me,
439
00:21:29,526 --> 00:21:32,314
based on my encounter,
440
00:21:32,398 --> 00:21:34,444
I don't think they're monsters.
441
00:21:36,533 --> 00:21:39,057
I think some of them
are here to do good.
442
00:21:45,106 --> 00:21:46,891
Nope!
443
00:21:47,848 --> 00:21:49,984
Wow.
444
00:21:50,068 --> 00:21:51,420
Abigail Hodges.
445
00:21:51,504 --> 00:21:53,422
- Who would have thought?
- Ha.
446
00:21:53,506 --> 00:21:56,294
Well, congratulations
on solving the case.
447
00:21:56,378 --> 00:21:57,470
You must be happy.
448
00:21:57,554 --> 00:21:59,297
Yeah, well,
you know, a man died.
449
00:21:59,381 --> 00:22:01,212
So there really isn't very much
to be happy about.
450
00:22:01,296 --> 00:22:04,433
Of course.
I just meant...
451
00:22:04,517 --> 00:22:06,957
Well, you did use up
a lot of resources
452
00:22:07,041 --> 00:22:08,219
dragging the lake.
453
00:22:08,303 --> 00:22:10,004
Like,
a tremendous amount actually
454
00:22:10,088 --> 00:22:12,876
that I'm still trying
to justify to the town council.
455
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:15,575
Probably can't afford
to have Patience Family Day
456
00:22:15,659 --> 00:22:16,880
this year on the town green.
457
00:22:16,964 --> 00:22:19,361
But hey, you got
to the bottom it.
458
00:22:19,445 --> 00:22:21,711
- Uh-huh.
- That's what's important.
459
00:22:21,795 --> 00:22:23,147
Yeah, that's right.
That's what's important.
460
00:22:23,231 --> 00:22:26,194
Thank you.
461
00:22:26,278 --> 00:22:28,628
- Okay.
- Yeah.
462
00:22:38,203 --> 00:22:41,818
Hello to you, Jay.
What can I get for you?
463
00:22:41,902 --> 00:22:44,514
We have a happy hour special
on IPAs.
464
00:22:45,036 --> 00:22:48,608
Are you offering me a drink?
I'm not even 18 yet.
465
00:22:48,692 --> 00:22:51,654
I meant to offer you a juice
466
00:22:51,738 --> 00:22:54,396
in an opaque mug.
467
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:56,137
Well, actually,
I just came in to ask
468
00:22:56,221 --> 00:22:58,095
if I could interview you
for the school paper.
469
00:22:58,179 --> 00:23:00,794
Everyone in town
is talking about the rescue.
470
00:23:02,967 --> 00:23:05,755
I'm so sick of people
making a big deal about this.
471
00:23:05,839 --> 00:23:07,931
You don't have to put me
on a pedestal.
472
00:23:08,015 --> 00:23:09,498
It won't take long,
473
00:23:09,582 --> 00:23:11,152
and I'm only doing it
for the extra credit.
474
00:23:11,236 --> 00:23:14,111
Oh, well, in that case.
475
00:23:16,154 --> 00:23:17,419
Thanks.
476
00:23:17,503 --> 00:23:20,204
It's only a few questions.
477
00:23:20,288 --> 00:23:21,379
Ask away.
478
00:23:21,463 --> 00:23:23,599
All right.
479
00:23:23,683 --> 00:23:26,686
So you were an Olympic skier.
480
00:23:27,818 --> 00:23:30,301
What was it like to wipe out
481
00:23:30,385 --> 00:23:32,303
and lose
in front of the whole world?
482
00:23:35,086 --> 00:23:36,307
Not awesome.
483
00:23:36,391 --> 00:23:39,920
Would you consider yourself
a fallen hero
484
00:23:40,004 --> 00:23:42,096
because you were a hero
and then you fell?
485
00:23:42,180 --> 00:23:45,578
Hmm.
Mmm.
486
00:23:45,662 --> 00:23:48,972
Um, I don't know.
I thought this interview
487
00:23:49,056 --> 00:23:52,628
was supposed to be
about the rescue thing.
488
00:23:52,712 --> 00:23:54,674
- I'm establishing background.
- Cool.
489
00:23:54,758 --> 00:23:56,589
So what happened
to your hand?
490
00:23:56,673 --> 00:23:57,764
Fractured it.
491
00:23:57,848 --> 00:24:00,680
First time
I fell down the crevasse.
492
00:24:00,764 --> 00:24:02,029
You fell down a crevasse?
493
00:24:02,113 --> 00:24:05,467
Yeah.
What did you think happened?
494
00:24:05,551 --> 00:24:06,903
I don't know.
495
00:24:06,987 --> 00:24:09,253
I thought you were stuck
on top of the mountain.
496
00:24:09,337 --> 00:24:11,299
You climbed out with your hand
looking like that?
497
00:24:11,383 --> 00:24:13,736
Well, yeah.
Kind of had to.
498
00:24:13,820 --> 00:24:15,651
I was 30 feet down.
499
00:24:15,735 --> 00:24:17,435
Asta and Harry
were down even further.
500
00:24:17,519 --> 00:24:18,872
I knew any rescue effort
would have to wait
501
00:24:18,956 --> 00:24:20,438
until the storm had passed,
502
00:24:20,522 --> 00:24:23,485
at which point,
it would be too late
503
00:24:23,569 --> 00:24:26,053
as we would have all gone
into hypothermia
504
00:24:26,137 --> 00:24:28,534
and be dead.
505
00:24:28,618 --> 00:24:29,967
Asta could have died?
506
00:24:32,404 --> 00:24:34,583
Yeah.
She could have.
507
00:24:34,667 --> 00:24:38,369
I mean, we all
could have died actually.
508
00:24:38,453 --> 00:24:39,632
We're pretty lucky.
509
00:24:42,370 --> 00:24:44,680
You know what, I, um,
510
00:24:44,764 --> 00:24:47,724
I think I'll take that juice
in the opaque mug now.
511
00:24:49,813 --> 00:24:52,340
You bitch, I almost lost you.
512
00:24:53,991 --> 00:24:55,996
Ow... oh.
513
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,865
Oh, I'm okay.
514
00:25:00,127 --> 00:25:01,479
I just feel like...
515
00:25:01,563 --> 00:25:03,873
You should probably, like,
buy me a drink or something
516
00:25:03,957 --> 00:25:07,744
'cause I'm like... uh, my nerves
are like fried eggs.
517
00:25:08,745 --> 00:25:10,358
We're gonna do two sodas.
518
00:25:10,442 --> 00:25:12,360
One with vodka.
519
00:25:12,444 --> 00:25:13,796
When I woke up,
520
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:16,190
I had no idea where I was.
521
00:25:16,274 --> 00:25:18,845
I mean, one minute,
I was in bed,
522
00:25:18,929 --> 00:25:21,674
and the next minute,
I was lying in a ditch
523
00:25:21,758 --> 00:25:23,371
by the side of the road.
524
00:25:23,455 --> 00:25:25,591
And they put something in me.
525
00:25:25,675 --> 00:25:27,767
Look.
526
00:25:27,851 --> 00:25:31,292
I don't know why,
but they're following me.
527
00:25:31,376 --> 00:25:33,468
They're listening.
528
00:25:33,552 --> 00:25:35,296
Look, you can see it.
529
00:25:39,123 --> 00:25:42,216
Alien technology.
That's it.
530
00:25:49,916 --> 00:25:52,310
- Hey, honey.
- Honey.
531
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:56,012
Why do I smell fish?
532
00:25:56,096 --> 00:25:58,055
Because I made branzino.
533
00:26:02,581 --> 00:26:04,496
Tonight's supposed to be
taco night.
534
00:26:05,062 --> 00:26:06,762
Does that mean that tacos
are moving to tomorrow night?
535
00:26:06,846 --> 00:26:08,416
Because that's...
That's spaghetti.
536
00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:11,027
Will you relax, just try to
get out of your comfort zone?
537
00:26:11,111 --> 00:26:12,115
Yeah, but...
538
00:26:12,199 --> 00:26:13,726
Max is at the movies
with Sahar.
539
00:26:13,810 --> 00:26:16,250
So I invited a friend over
with her husband.
540
00:26:17,770 --> 00:26:20,123
I want you to meet them.
You're gonna love them.
541
00:26:20,207 --> 00:26:21,385
Yep.
542
00:26:21,469 --> 00:26:23,123
Maybe we could
do fish tacos.
543
00:26:25,909 --> 00:26:27,565
This is my husband, Ben.
544
00:26:27,649 --> 00:26:29,698
Ben, this is Sarah
and Richard Houston.
545
00:26:29,782 --> 00:26:31,439
- Oh, come on.
- We're friends.
546
00:26:31,523 --> 00:26:33,746
You can call him Dick.
547
00:26:33,830 --> 00:26:35,486
Well, we're having fish.
548
00:26:39,009 --> 00:26:41,754
I want to thank you all
for coming and for sharing.
549
00:26:41,838 --> 00:26:42,929
Come down and visit me.
550
00:26:43,013 --> 00:26:44,844
We have a booth
on the con floor.
551
00:26:44,928 --> 00:26:47,629
A lot of cool merchandise.
Thank you.
552
00:26:51,499 --> 00:26:53,156
Excuse me.
553
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:54,984
- Wait.
- Harry, where are you going?
554
00:26:58,855 --> 00:27:00,424
Alien Tracker, hold up.
555
00:27:00,508 --> 00:27:01,904
Alien Tracker!
556
00:27:01,988 --> 00:27:03,514
Can I get an autograph?
557
00:27:05,731 --> 00:27:06,822
I'm sorry.
Excuse me.
558
00:27:06,906 --> 00:27:08,908
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
559
00:27:13,565 --> 00:27:15,701
Yeah.
You're welcome.
560
00:27:34,194 --> 00:27:35,543
Sorry.
It's my turn.
561
00:27:38,285 --> 00:27:39,812
Do you mind?
562
00:27:39,896 --> 00:27:42,379
I'm going to cut that alien
technology out of your arm,
563
00:27:42,463 --> 00:27:43,859
and then I'm going to leave.
564
00:27:45,902 --> 00:27:49,647
- What the hell!
- Quiet.
565
00:27:49,731 --> 00:27:51,693
Aah, it's not alien!
It's a BB.
566
00:27:51,777 --> 00:27:52,955
What?
567
00:27:53,039 --> 00:27:54,304
A BB got lodged in my arm
when I was a kid.
568
00:27:54,388 --> 00:27:56,480
- Okay, I lied.
- What is wrong with you?
569
00:27:56,564 --> 00:27:58,178
You're the one
with the knife,
570
00:27:58,262 --> 00:28:00,310
you freakin' psycho.
571
00:28:01,787 --> 00:28:03,009
Ugh!
572
00:28:05,486 --> 00:28:07,056
What the hell is going on?
573
00:28:07,140 --> 00:28:08,710
What are you looking for?
574
00:28:08,794 --> 00:28:10,103
And don't lie.
575
00:28:10,187 --> 00:28:11,841
I think I deserve
at least that.
576
00:28:15,322 --> 00:28:18,024
When the Grays abduct
a human,
577
00:28:18,108 --> 00:28:21,372
they leave alien technology
implanted on their body.
578
00:28:22,373 --> 00:28:24,204
It is a transmitter.
579
00:28:24,288 --> 00:28:26,859
It is a way for them
to track the victim.
580
00:28:26,943 --> 00:28:28,988
I need to find one.
581
00:28:29,989 --> 00:28:31,864
Is that why we're here?
582
00:28:31,948 --> 00:28:35,171
So you can rip an implant
out of some poor person's arm?
583
00:28:35,255 --> 00:28:36,651
It's for my radio.
584
00:28:36,735 --> 00:28:40,350
The implant is made
of an alien metal.
585
00:28:40,434 --> 00:28:41,871
I need it.
586
00:28:53,447 --> 00:28:55,931
The Alien Tracker
is after me.
587
00:28:56,015 --> 00:28:59,021
- He can see me like Max.
- I don't understand.
588
00:28:59,105 --> 00:29:00,631
The rest is self-explanatory.
589
00:29:00,715 --> 00:29:03,547
His name is Alien Tracker.
590
00:29:03,631 --> 00:29:07,029
- Maybe we should go then.
- Yes.
591
00:29:08,288 --> 00:29:09,553
It was, like...
592
00:29:09,637 --> 00:29:10,946
I mean, he designed the whole
thing himself,
593
00:29:11,030 --> 00:29:13,079
the whole thing.
He made it all on his own.
594
00:29:13,163 --> 00:29:14,558
Oh, I'm so sad.
595
00:29:14,642 --> 00:29:15,908
I thought Max
was gonna be here tonight.
596
00:29:15,992 --> 00:29:17,953
We're so looking forward
to meeting him.
597
00:29:18,037 --> 00:29:19,563
Right, honey?
598
00:29:19,647 --> 00:29:21,914
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I love kids.
599
00:29:21,998 --> 00:29:24,090
We want them,
but the doctor said
600
00:29:24,174 --> 00:29:26,222
Sarah's probably too old.
601
00:29:26,306 --> 00:29:27,571
I'm sorry.
602
00:29:27,655 --> 00:29:30,139
I'm sure that
it will happen for you two.
603
00:29:31,616 --> 00:29:33,882
Meanwhile, enjoy the freedom
'cause kids are a lot.
604
00:29:33,966 --> 00:29:35,449
Mmm.
605
00:29:35,533 --> 00:29:36,885
That's why it's so nice
having some adult time.
606
00:29:36,969 --> 00:29:38,278
Right, honey?
607
00:29:38,362 --> 00:29:40,628
Mmm.
Fun fact, more people died
608
00:29:40,712 --> 00:29:43,196
choking on branzino bones
per year than heart disease.
609
00:29:45,021 --> 00:29:47,327
Honey, could you help me
with dessert?
610
00:29:50,765 --> 00:29:53,029
Sweetie, you haven't said
two words all night.
611
00:29:54,508 --> 00:29:56,383
I'm pulling
all of the weight here.
612
00:29:56,467 --> 00:29:57,950
Well, I'm sorry.
613
00:29:58,034 --> 00:30:00,343
I think not having tacos has
kind of thrown me off my game.
614
00:30:00,427 --> 00:30:01,823
Look, I'm trying.
615
00:30:01,907 --> 00:30:03,912
You spent the last half hour
playing medical examiner
616
00:30:03,996 --> 00:30:05,044
with your fish bones.
617
00:30:05,128 --> 00:30:06,349
Well, if it makes you
feel any better,
618
00:30:06,433 --> 00:30:08,177
I swallowed most of them.
619
00:30:08,261 --> 00:30:09,657
Uh, it doesn't
make me feel better.
620
00:30:09,741 --> 00:30:10,919
Okay.
I feel terrible.
621
00:30:13,179 --> 00:30:15,010
I really like Sarah and Dick.
622
00:30:15,094 --> 00:30:17,621
And it's nice to have
couple friends who we can
623
00:30:17,705 --> 00:30:20,624
have over for dinner.
Can you try?
624
00:30:20,708 --> 00:30:23,801
Okay.
Look, I'll be more sociable.
625
00:30:23,885 --> 00:30:26,892
I'll talk to Dick
about candle making.
626
00:30:26,976 --> 00:30:29,285
Yeah, sure.
627
00:30:29,369 --> 00:30:32,506
Or something else.
628
00:30:32,590 --> 00:30:35,596
What, you don't... what,
you don't like my candles?
629
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:37,424
No, I mean, of course.
630
00:30:37,508 --> 00:30:40,993
I... love them.
631
00:30:41,077 --> 00:30:42,820
It's just...
632
00:30:42,904 --> 00:30:45,559
It's not really exciting
dinner conversation.
633
00:30:46,082 --> 00:30:47,390
Hmm.
634
00:30:47,474 --> 00:30:50,959
Not sure I want to live
in that world, but okay.
635
00:30:51,043 --> 00:30:53,048
Just leave the baby
talk to me, okay?
636
00:30:53,132 --> 00:30:54,354
I'm the mother-to-be.
637
00:30:54,438 --> 00:30:55,659
Well, that's not what
the doctor said.
638
00:30:55,743 --> 00:30:57,923
Hey, listen, asshole,
just do your job.
639
00:30:58,007 --> 00:30:59,228
Keep them engaged
640
00:30:59,312 --> 00:31:00,838
so I can go on a little
reconnaissance mission.
641
00:31:00,922 --> 00:31:03,102
I did an Internet deep dive
and found pictures of Ben
642
00:31:03,186 --> 00:31:05,931
making these shitty candles.
Ask him about it.
643
00:31:06,015 --> 00:31:07,323
Hope everyone's
in the mood for pie.
644
00:31:07,407 --> 00:31:09,412
- Oh.
- Can't wait.
645
00:31:09,496 --> 00:31:11,110
May I use
your powder room first?
646
00:31:11,194 --> 00:31:12,934
Of course.
647
00:31:14,893 --> 00:31:16,028
I have to say,
648
00:31:16,112 --> 00:31:18,334
these are really,
really nice candles.
649
00:31:18,418 --> 00:31:20,510
What are they made of?
Soy?
650
00:31:20,594 --> 00:31:22,034
Well, actually,
there are... yeah,
651
00:31:22,118 --> 00:31:25,037
there are several
different kinds of, um...
652
00:31:25,121 --> 00:31:26,513
Not sure.
653
00:31:27,297 --> 00:31:29,389
I don't know.
654
00:31:29,473 --> 00:31:31,953
Just a regular
store-bought candle.
655
00:31:44,009 --> 00:31:46,188
Mmm.
656
00:31:46,272 --> 00:31:47,973
Okay, um, keep moving.
657
00:31:48,057 --> 00:31:50,624
I got this.
658
00:31:51,190 --> 00:31:54,109
Oh, my God.
You're the Alien Tracker.
659
00:31:54,193 --> 00:31:57,808
I have listened to
every episode of your podcast.
660
00:31:57,892 --> 00:32:00,811
I was wondering if maybe
I could get a selfie with you?
661
00:32:00,895 --> 00:32:02,465
And this crazy dude came in
662
00:32:02,549 --> 00:32:05,813
and tried
to stab me with a scalpel.
663
00:32:06,292 --> 00:32:09,385
Why are you just staring at me?
Are you gonna help me?
664
00:32:09,469 --> 00:32:10,818
Can we just go look for him?
665
00:32:13,169 --> 00:32:14,782
I'm not crazy.
666
00:32:14,866 --> 00:32:18,873
- Hmm, hmm, hmm.
- Hey, can I help you?
667
00:32:18,957 --> 00:32:21,310
I need to hide.
Can you leave?
668
00:32:21,394 --> 00:32:23,004
What are you hiding from?
669
00:32:24,658 --> 00:32:26,878
The Alien Tracker.
He's chasing me.
670
00:32:30,577 --> 00:32:33,757
He thinks I'm an alien.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
671
00:32:33,841 --> 00:32:37,500
Um...
He's a crazy guy.
672
00:32:37,584 --> 00:32:40,848
Well, I have no problem
hiding aliens.
673
00:32:41,980 --> 00:32:43,593
Wait a minute.
674
00:32:43,677 --> 00:32:46,248
You are that hair guy,
675
00:32:46,332 --> 00:32:48,555
the one who knows
all about ancient monuments.
676
00:32:48,639 --> 00:32:51,511
Yeah, that's me.
Would you like a signed copy?
677
00:32:53,557 --> 00:32:55,431
I would rather have
678
00:32:55,515 --> 00:32:57,691
flower-shaped fruit.
679
00:33:54,574 --> 00:33:57,493
Hey, what are you
doing up here?
680
00:33:57,577 --> 00:33:59,582
I know.
I'm such a snoop, right?
681
00:33:59,666 --> 00:34:01,367
I just love
your decorating style.
682
00:34:01,451 --> 00:34:03,543
I had to see what the rest
of the house looked like.
683
00:34:03,627 --> 00:34:06,154
You could have asked
for a tour.
684
00:34:11,243 --> 00:34:14,641
I'll be honest with you.
685
00:34:14,725 --> 00:34:16,991
This whole
686
00:34:17,075 --> 00:34:19,820
"not being able
to have kids" thing
687
00:34:19,904 --> 00:34:22,475
is really hard.
688
00:34:22,559 --> 00:34:24,781
And I just wanted
to see your son's room.
689
00:34:24,865 --> 00:34:27,001
Oh.
690
00:34:27,085 --> 00:34:28,698
I'm sorry.
691
00:34:28,782 --> 00:34:30,222
Yeah.
692
00:34:30,306 --> 00:34:32,311
Just don't give up.
693
00:34:32,395 --> 00:34:34,139
Women are having babies
older and older now.
694
00:34:34,223 --> 00:34:35,227
You just never know.
695
00:34:35,311 --> 00:34:37,881
I'm actually not the problem.
696
00:34:37,965 --> 00:34:40,797
Dick only said that because
he's so self-conscious.
697
00:34:40,881 --> 00:34:44,149
But he has very low motility.
698
00:34:44,233 --> 00:34:46,107
Look, if you want to get
a taste for it,
699
00:34:46,191 --> 00:34:47,935
you can babysit
Max whenever you want.
700
00:34:48,019 --> 00:34:50,282
Oh, I would love that.
701
00:34:51,501 --> 00:34:53,416
I'll take such
good care of him.
702
00:34:56,245 --> 00:34:58,206
What's interesting is that
703
00:34:58,290 --> 00:35:01,470
the masonry style
of Delphi, Cuzco,
704
00:35:01,554 --> 00:35:05,170
or Sacsayhuamán
are virtually identical,
705
00:35:05,254 --> 00:35:07,955
and they're considered
"navels of the world"
706
00:35:08,039 --> 00:35:10,349
where deities
descended from the sky
707
00:35:10,433 --> 00:35:13,656
and imparted knowledge
to the local population.
708
00:35:13,740 --> 00:35:15,267
So those places
709
00:35:15,351 --> 00:35:17,747
are on two opposite ends
of the planet,
710
00:35:17,831 --> 00:35:20,054
and they have the same stories.
711
00:35:20,138 --> 00:35:21,838
So you have to wonder
712
00:35:21,922 --> 00:35:24,145
if these people
had been visited
713
00:35:24,229 --> 00:35:25,799
by the same beings.
714
00:35:25,883 --> 00:35:29,281
And if so, then you have
to ask the question,
715
00:35:29,365 --> 00:35:32,281
"Who were they?
And where did they come from?"
716
00:35:33,456 --> 00:35:36,897
- You should be on television.
- Okay.
717
00:35:36,981 --> 00:35:40,205
- I have to go.
- I hope I didn't bore you.
718
00:35:40,289 --> 00:35:41,902
No.
719
00:35:41,986 --> 00:35:43,991
You're out of fruit flowers.
720
00:35:44,075 --> 00:35:45,732
I left you the honeydew melon.
721
00:35:45,816 --> 00:35:48,213
They taste
like old women's perfume.
722
00:36:02,441 --> 00:36:05,578
Kate doesn't love
the whole candle thing?
723
00:36:05,662 --> 00:36:07,754
I accidentally spilled
some wax on her head once.
724
00:36:07,838 --> 00:36:08,755
She lost some hair.
725
00:36:08,839 --> 00:36:10,017
- Yeah.
- What are you gonna do?
726
00:36:10,101 --> 00:36:11,627
Yeah, I get it.
You know,
727
00:36:11,711 --> 00:36:14,804
Sarah can get pretty particular
about the things I do too.
728
00:36:14,888 --> 00:36:16,110
- Mm-hmm.
- So yeah.
729
00:36:16,194 --> 00:36:17,851
Very passionate,
very passionate ladies.
730
00:36:17,935 --> 00:36:19,461
Oh, that's...
that's one word for it.
731
00:36:23,506 --> 00:36:26,251
Want to fire it up?
Show you how it's done.
732
00:36:26,335 --> 00:36:28,427
- Yes, yes.
- You sure?
733
00:36:28,511 --> 00:36:29,993
Please, yeah, yeah, oh.
734
00:36:30,077 --> 00:36:31,299
- Oh.
- Oh!
735
00:36:31,383 --> 00:36:33,083
- Oh.
- Okay.
736
00:36:39,304 --> 00:36:41,788
I just find it pretty relaxing.
737
00:36:41,872 --> 00:36:43,180
Yeah.
738
00:36:43,264 --> 00:36:47,446
Helps me cope with
the pressures of being mayor,
739
00:36:47,530 --> 00:36:50,228
especially after
the town doctor was murdered.
740
00:36:52,404 --> 00:36:53,974
That's horrible.
741
00:36:54,058 --> 00:36:56,106
Yeah, yeah.
742
00:36:56,190 --> 00:36:57,630
We did just make
an arrest though.
743
00:36:57,714 --> 00:37:00,197
And it was the first murder
in Patience
744
00:37:00,281 --> 00:37:02,852
since, like, the 1800s.
745
00:37:02,936 --> 00:37:06,291
I've always wanted
to say, you know,
746
00:37:06,375 --> 00:37:09,119
"Not on my watch, buddy."
747
00:37:09,203 --> 00:37:11,948
But yeah, it was...
748
00:37:12,032 --> 00:37:13,385
It was on my watch.
749
00:37:16,559 --> 00:37:19,652
Think I might have been across
the street when it happened.
750
00:37:22,042 --> 00:37:23,740
Uh...
751
00:37:25,263 --> 00:37:27,181
Do you like pumpkin spice?
752
00:37:32,096 --> 00:37:34,797
Mmm.
That was close.
753
00:37:34,881 --> 00:37:36,321
It's like everybody
is talking about me
754
00:37:36,405 --> 00:37:38,192
like I'm some big hero...
755
00:37:38,276 --> 00:37:40,542
♪ Close to you
756
00:37:40,626 --> 00:37:43,153
Except for the two people
whose lives I actually saved
757
00:37:43,237 --> 00:37:46,719
that incidentally are both
completely ignoring me.
758
00:37:48,199 --> 00:37:50,160
♪ Close to you
759
00:37:50,244 --> 00:37:52,380
You know, I should be hanging
out with my friend right now.
760
00:37:52,464 --> 00:37:54,208
Bitch, I'm your friend.
761
00:37:54,292 --> 00:37:56,950
We're closer than you and Asta.
762
00:37:57,034 --> 00:37:59,082
We shared a boyfriend
in high school.
763
00:37:59,166 --> 00:38:01,694
You mean the guy that you
slept with behind my back?
764
00:38:01,778 --> 00:38:03,652
I grabbed his dick,
and he was into it.
765
00:38:03,736 --> 00:38:05,611
So what am I supposed to do,
say no?
766
00:38:05,695 --> 00:38:07,003
Oh, yeah.
Fair point.
767
00:38:08,524 --> 00:38:11,486
It just, like, bothers me
I can't get a hold of them.
768
00:38:11,570 --> 00:38:13,314
I've been texting all day.
769
00:38:13,398 --> 00:38:15,534
I don't know, maybe something
happened to her.
770
00:38:15,618 --> 00:38:17,274
Maybe they're not okay.
771
00:38:17,358 --> 00:38:18,972
I don't know.
It's kind of freaking me out.
772
00:38:19,056 --> 00:38:21,670
Yeah, probably something bad
did happen to her.
773
00:38:21,754 --> 00:38:23,542
I don't know.
She probably got kidnapped
774
00:38:23,626 --> 00:38:25,152
or something
or, like, people are after her
775
00:38:25,236 --> 00:38:28,285
and, like, she's in the back
of a car, like, in a trunk,
776
00:38:28,369 --> 00:38:30,549
like, screaming
and, like, pounding
777
00:38:30,633 --> 00:38:32,725
and, like...
Or she could be dead.
778
00:38:32,809 --> 00:38:34,727
She could be dead
in a ditch somewhere, like,
779
00:38:34,811 --> 00:38:36,032
covered in blood
780
00:38:36,116 --> 00:38:39,471
and, like, intestines are,
like, trailing out...
781
00:38:39,555 --> 00:38:41,081
Is this supposed to
help me feel better?
782
00:38:41,165 --> 00:38:42,474
Okay.
783
00:38:42,558 --> 00:38:44,171
So we're gonna switch gears
over to karaoke.
784
00:38:44,255 --> 00:38:47,783
First up, we have our own Liv
Baker singing a song for us.
785
00:38:47,867 --> 00:38:51,483
Come on.
786
00:38:57,137 --> 00:39:02,363
♪ Oh, whoa
787
00:39:02,447 --> 00:39:04,496
♪ It must have
been cold there ♪
788
00:39:04,580 --> 00:39:07,408
♪ In my shadow
789
00:39:10,281 --> 00:39:13,026
♪ To never have sunlight
790
00:39:13,110 --> 00:39:15,852
♪ On your face
791
00:39:18,463 --> 00:39:23,079
♪ You were content
to let me shine ♪
792
00:39:23,163 --> 00:39:26,343
♪ That's your way
793
00:39:26,427 --> 00:39:30,693
♪ You always walked
a step behind ♪
794
00:39:33,609 --> 00:39:36,655
♪ So I was the one
with all the glory ♪
795
00:39:38,178 --> 00:39:40,357
What the hell is happening?
796
00:39:40,441 --> 00:39:43,186
♪ While you were the one
797
00:39:43,270 --> 00:39:46,578
♪ With all the strength
798
00:39:49,102 --> 00:39:53,545
♪ A beautiful face
without a name ♪
799
00:39:53,629 --> 00:39:55,587
♪ For so long
800
00:39:56,893 --> 00:40:00,549
♪ A beautiful smile
that hides the pain ♪
801
00:40:03,682 --> 00:40:05,382
♪ Did you ever know
802
00:40:05,466 --> 00:40:09,079
♪ That you're my hero
803
00:40:11,777 --> 00:40:15,825
♪ And everything
I would like to be? ♪
804
00:40:19,393 --> 00:40:21,660
♪ I can fly higher
805
00:40:21,744 --> 00:40:25,661
♪ Than an eagle
806
00:40:27,271 --> 00:40:31,188
♪ You are the wind
beneath my wings ♪
807
00:40:36,585 --> 00:40:38,111
Okay.
808
00:40:44,288 --> 00:40:46,989
Guess I'm deputy again.
809
00:40:57,954 --> 00:40:59,564
Oh, shit.
810
00:41:02,001 --> 00:41:04,224
I first learned the concept
of two for one
811
00:41:04,308 --> 00:41:07,528
when there was a sale on day
old baguettes at the market.
812
00:41:13,447 --> 00:41:15,844
But having this Alien Tracker
in my grips
813
00:41:15,928 --> 00:41:18,238
and discovering he was
implanted with the very chip
814
00:41:18,322 --> 00:41:20,893
I need is even more exciting
815
00:41:20,977 --> 00:41:23,675
than getting an extra
two-foot-long crouton.
816
00:41:24,937 --> 00:41:26,202
Don't move.
817
00:41:26,286 --> 00:41:29,510
I'm taking that alien
technology out of your neck.
818
00:41:29,594 --> 00:41:33,906
No, wait.
Where is my baby?
819
00:41:33,990 --> 00:41:34,994
What baby?
820
00:41:35,078 --> 00:41:36,735
The one you
took out of my wife
821
00:41:36,819 --> 00:41:38,650
30 years ago on the bus.
822
00:41:38,734 --> 00:41:41,261
We don't do that.
That's the Greys.
823
00:41:41,345 --> 00:41:42,654
You're a Grey.
824
00:41:42,738 --> 00:41:45,744
- How dare you!
- Please don't take it out.
825
00:41:45,828 --> 00:41:48,660
It's the only way they can
find me if they come back.
826
00:41:48,744 --> 00:41:51,050
It's the only way
I'll ever meet my son.
827
00:41:52,835 --> 00:41:54,619
They're not coming back
for you.
828
00:41:55,620 --> 00:41:57,927
They already got
what they wanted.
829
00:42:06,849 --> 00:42:08,244
I recognize you.
830
00:42:08,328 --> 00:42:10,333
You were in
that Experiencer Panel.
831
00:42:10,417 --> 00:42:11,552
Mmm, yeah.
832
00:42:11,636 --> 00:42:13,293
I heard what you said
up there.
833
00:42:13,377 --> 00:42:16,423
It was very touching.
But you should be careful.
834
00:42:18,034 --> 00:42:19,734
- What do you mean?
- For all you know,
835
00:42:19,818 --> 00:42:23,042
your alien is a Christopher
Columbus of the sky.
836
00:43:13,393 --> 00:43:16,182
Let's go.
I got what I needed.
837
00:43:16,266 --> 00:43:18,053
Well, that makes me nervous.
838
00:43:18,137 --> 00:43:20,052
Don't worry.
I didn't hurt him.
839
00:43:21,184 --> 00:43:23,537
He was on his knees,
thanking me.
840
00:43:23,621 --> 00:43:27,364
- You're a monster.
- You're welcome.
841
00:43:30,193 --> 00:43:32,064
There are no monsters.
842
00:43:32,804 --> 00:43:35,764
Beings do what needs to be
done in order to survive.
843
00:43:50,082 --> 00:43:51,434
Asta!
844
00:43:54,086 --> 00:43:56,178
♪ No bye, no aloha
845
00:43:56,262 --> 00:43:58,703
Are you in there?!
846
00:44:00,571 --> 00:44:04,273
♪ Gone with
a rock promoter ♪
847
00:44:10,407 --> 00:44:13,892
♪ A rock promoter
848
00:44:13,976 --> 00:44:16,459
Aah!
849
00:44:16,543 --> 00:44:18,632
Ow, shit!
850
00:44:20,025 --> 00:44:22,201
♪ And now may die
851
00:44:26,597 --> 00:44:31,297
♪ Oh, the treats
852
00:44:35,562 --> 00:44:37,698
♪ Saw it on the wall
853
00:44:37,782 --> 00:44:41,394
♪ "Motherhood means
mental freeze" ♪
854
00:44:43,483 --> 00:44:45,268
♪ Freezeheads
855
00:44:46,835 --> 00:44:49,489
♪ No aloha
856
00:44:51,883 --> 00:44:55,411
♪ I know, I saw
857
00:44:55,495 --> 00:44:57,671
♪ And now may die
60688
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