Original subtitles

(distant traffic)

FOUR MONTHS LATER...

(upbeat music)

PHOTO ELSAPAYETTE / ARGENTINA

LIKE / COMMENTS ELSAPAYETTE:

FINALLY SOME NEWS FROM THE GUAPA CHICA!

You sure it's OK for him to be in the bathroom with his mom?

Do you think it's better for him to cry in his father's arms because I'm gone?

(Milou) Did you call the wedding caterer back?

- (phone rings and vibrates) - (Charlotte groans)

- (Charlotte groans) - (vibrating continues)

- (man) Mrs. Bensmir... - (silence)

It's Ben Smires!

Again, you're not supposed to sleep here. This is an office building, you know.

Well, I'm working right now, as always.

(Charlotte sighs)

(familiar drums)

(electronic chords added)

(Julio) Yes, my demo tape. Exactly.

Yes, a Soundcloud link, three weeks ago. Julio Saldenha.

No, Saldenha.

Yeah.

Well, 12,000 plays, that's something!

OK. Yeah. Yeah, I understand.

All right, thank you. Bye.

♪ Oh, so close to me ♪

(buzzer)

♪ I'm feeling you closer ♪

♪ Oh, so close to me ♪

♪ So close to me ♪

♪ I'm feeling you closer ♪

♪ So close to me ♪

♪ So close to me ♪

(music fades)

A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES

(theme tune)

THE LAME PLAN

THE CRAZY PLAN

THE BOOTY PLAN

THE HOOK-UP PLAN

(music fades)

(soft music)

EMILIE.CHATAIGNE75 COMMENTED: FINALLY SOME NEWS FROM THE GUAPA CHICA!

@ELSAPAYETTE REPLIED

- (Julio) Ready? - (Elsa) Uh... Yes!

(Elsa) Hey, Milou liked my post from Argentina.

- Oh, shit, the girls are here! - What? Oh, shit!

(Julio laughs)

(Elsa) Oh, my God, you're fucking with me. It's not even them.

- (Julio) It's here, right? - (Elsa) Oh, right here.

- (Julio) Here? - (Elsa) Yeah, stop.

(Elsa) Great.

(Elsa) OK.

OK...

Oh, shit.

(Julio sighs)

Would you stop with Instagram?

Oh, it's fine, I hardly ever use it. Look, it's gone. See?

- All right, OK, give me that. - Here.

- (Elsa) OK. - (Julio) So...

- Don't leave until you get the job, OK? - All right.

- Now go. - OK.

- Go! You got this! - All right.

- Hey, Elsa? Elsa? - Yes? Yes? Yes?

What? Oh, here?

Yeah. No, no. I'm not sure.

- Huh? What? - (Julio) Yes.

Oh, now you're being stupid. There's nothing.

Look in your pocket.

PIOTR KAMINSKY FOUNDATION

(birds chirping)

Aw...

- Oh, mini panpipes! I'm loving it! - (Elsa blows a note)

(Julio) Good luck. This is the last time you're allowed to lie.

- OK. OK. - (Julio) OK?

- (Julio) I'll keep my fingers crossed. - Right.

- (buzzer) - (Elsa) Here we go.

So, I have lots of ideas for your plant nursery project.

And I... I'd like to dedicate it to companies created by women from...

(Eastern music)

...impoverished communities, I mean, promise communities.

Um, but, um...

To be honest, after I worked at the Paris City Hall,

I needed to...

to... to find purpose.

(Elsa) Um, a kind of, um...

You know, inner harmony. I had...

Retirement?

- (chime) - Retirement?

(Elsa) Um...

Death.

Voyage?

Airplane.

Horizon.

Horizon? Horizon. Voyage. Horizon...

- (Elsa) Um... - (chime)

Oh, yes! And I also spent four months in Buenos Aires.

Argentina?

(Elsa) Uh-huh.

- Sign... - Road!

Um, yes, Mr. Kaminsky said that because I lived there for a while.

(man in Spanish) But don't worry about Piotr. He's frugal with words.

He decided to spare the earth

and to limit his carbon footprint by using fewer words.

(groaning)

(in Spanish) Yes, yes, yes. Of course, yes.

The woman with the fan crosses the bridge over the fresh river. Yes.

(Elsa in Spanish) Walking on the right. Yes, yes.

- (Elsa clears her throat) - (Piotr inhales)

(silence)

- (gong rings) - Contact.

(Elsa) Uh...

(Eastern music)

Together.

Oh, sorry.

- (music continues) - (door opens)

What?

(music fades)

- Guess who killed it? It's Elsa! - (upbeat music)

- Who just got it? It's Elsa! - (Julio) It's Elsa!

- You're the best, my baby. - (Elsa screams)

(Elsa laughs) Oh, my God! Oh, I'm so happy!

- I'm so proud of you! - Yes!

You see? I knew it. I knew it! Here, give me your phone.

- I'll take a picture of you. - Yes. Here.

- (Julio) Ready? Wait... - Yes!

- That's right! - (Elsa laughs)

- Let's go. Tell me. How did it go? - It was really great.

You can stop lying to the girls now and tell them you're back.

- (Elsa) Oh... Oh, yes. - (Julio) Wait, careful.

Cheers and adios, Buenos Aires!

- Hey! - (Roman) Adios!

(Chantal) Yes, adios, Buenos!

Hmm...

Mind you, I've been thinking, and I thought

I'm not necessarily obliged to tell everyone I've returned.

Oh, but we've already had this conversation, right?

Yes, but we weren't necessarily all on the same...

the same... the same... the same page, you know, like...

- Oh, sure. - (Julio) We were.

- (Chantal) We definitely were. - (Julio) Really.

(Elsa) OK, then, I'll do it.

- (Chantal) That's my girl. - Good.

(music fades)

(Milou) Oh, my God! Elsa's back!

- (Milou gasps) Can you believe it? - No way, that's awesome! Since when?

- Look, that's Elsa, honey! - (Antoine) Elsa!

- (Milou) And... yes! Your first like! - (chime)

- On your fourth month! Oh! - (gurgling)

♪ Happy month-aversary to you ♪ Sing!

- (both)♪ Happy month-aversary to you ♪ - (gurgling)

- (both)♪ Happy month-aversary, Eddy ♪ - (gurgling)

- ♪ Papa forgot this again ♪ - ♪ Happy month-aversary to you ♪

- Here. - Disposable diapers are still much easier.

- Of course, polluting is always easier. - (gurgling)

- What's the picture? - Oh, nothing.

@ELSAPAYETTE: NEW JOB, NEW LIFE!

(Antoine) It's fine, I got you. Who's Daddy's big boy? You are!

I'm surprised she's not more tan.

- It's the lighting. - Really?

- (Matthew) Hmm. - That and she obviously used a filter.

- (Charlotte) You think so? - (man) I mean, yeah?

- All right, sorry, but who are you? - Oh, this is Arthur, our new intern!

- Yeah. - (Charlotte) Twenty-two.

(Charlotte) Only 300 euros a month.

And he's super cute.

We just got some goodies, I'll unpack them.

All right.

(Charlotte) You do realize it's the company's money you're wasting, right?

- Uh... yeah? - We're three months late on rent.

Well, we need to invest. Have a little faith in your boss!

- OK? You picked out a pretty nice shirt. - Oh, you like it?

- It's a shirt from... - All right, I got to run.

- (Matthieu sighs) - Work well, my little bees!

- Thanks. - (Charlotte chuckles) See you!

- You were going to see her without me? - Huh?

- (Charlotte) What? - What?

- Well... - (Milou) Well?

- Well, let's go? - Well, yeah!

Alright, shall we?

(retreating footsteps)

(door opens)

- (gong rings) - (approaching footsteps)

Plant nursery...

Place...

Plant nursery? Oh, if I found a place for the plant nursery?

- Well, no, but I was thinking... - (Piotr) Barge.

- Boat. - (Piotr) Stop.

OK.

It's a call for projects to reclaim a barge on the river Seine.

Oh, that's... that's perfect.

- City Hall. - City Hall? City Hall?

- Paris. The Paris City Hall? - (Elsa) Oh...

- They're the ones bidding for projects. - Ah! Oh, that's great. That's great.

(Elsa) Paris City Hall. And by "they," you mean...

(Elsa sighs) Maxime Pauillac.

That's perfect. It's just perfect.

- (chime) - (Elsa) I'm on it.

(man) Hello.

(Max sighs) I can't believe she's in the same city as me.

- You think she's going to call me? - Oh, sure, yeah. Right after she calls me.

Because in her phone book, "Chantal" comes right before "Cunt".

(Max sighs)

(phone vibrates)

- (phone continues to vibrate) - Oh, shit, it's her.

Oh, it's her.

Fuck! What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?

I don't know! Maybe pick it up? How about that?

Yeah, that's good. That's what I should do.

Hey! Elsa.

Yes, hello.

Elsa Payette speaking.

(Elsa chuckles) Hi.

Yeah, well, Elsa, right?

(Max) It's not like you were gone for ten years.

And I thought about you quite a bit and... it's really something to hear your voice.

- It's really moving. - (Elsa) OK...

That's very, very interesting.

Actually, I'm calling because I'd like to give you...

- (Elsa) To give you head... - Oh, you know.

- Absolutely. - A heads-up, a heads-up.

Uh, to give you a heads-up.

- It's for work. - Oh, for sure. Yes, for sure. That's...

Because actually,

I'm calling about your bid, because my boss,

Piotr Kaminsky, he's very interested in entering the competition and...

I'll give you everything,

but, um, but it's important that we meet very, very, very soon

to visit the barge, together,

and me and you together as quickly as possible, but...

Ideally, we should do it today.

It should totally be today, like, right now. Is it possible for you?

Yeah, sure, let's do that.

(Max grunts)

OK!

Well, then, I'll just give you the address and, uh, I'll see you later.

- Well, I love you. Um... - (Elsa) OK, then. I'll be waiting.

- OK. Ciao, Elsa. - (Elsa) Thank you, sir.

- (Max sighs and laughs) - (upbeat music)

- How was I? It wasn't bad, was it? - (Chantal sighs)

Too much? Do you have some Rescue Remedy?

- What, you mean Xanax? - Yes, Xanax. Please, come on.

- Rescue. - (Chantal sighs)

You really need to see someone again.

- A shrink, I mean. - Yeah.

(music fades)

Fuck, I can't believe she just got back and she already got a job.

Such a winner, just like me.

What the fuck is she doing?

- Trust me, she'll have to come out to eat. - Right.

- (Charlotte) Oh! - (Milou mutters)

(Charlotte) Oh, she's so cute!

- Is it me or is her butt bigger? - It's bigger.

All right, it's time for your little surprise!

(phone rings)

- But... I'll talk to her. - Well, pick up! What the fuck?

- No, no, no! - What? But...

Yes! Nobody puts Milou in a corner.

Yes, OK, but can't you see she doesn't want to see us?

For fuck's sake, we got four lame texts in four months!

They weren't even texts to me, more like signs of life.

She came back, we don't know when. She got a job, we don't know what.

And now she's ignoring us? Fuck! We're her BFFs, this is serious!

- Well, we were her BFFs. - Yes, well, I was her BFF.

We need to understand. Maybe she just needs time.

Really? Time for what?

- To officially dump her friends? - And why would she do that?

- I'm about to find out, Charlotte. - Oh, nice! Love it.

- This way. - OK.

(upbeat music)

(music fades)

(gasp)

- (Milou sighs) - We're good now.

Really?

- Really? - Yeah, I liked that.

(creaking)

(Elsa clears her throat) Hello!

(Max gasps)

(Max laughs)

- You look good. - Oh, how nice.

(Max mutters) Yeah.

Uh, you look nice.

- Yeah, sorry, I didn't have time to... - No, it's...

Uh... I've been dreaming about this for months.

(Max chuckles) I'm... Um...

It's, uh...

Oh.

It's with meatballs, your favorite.

(Max) Uh...

But you know that this is a business meeting, right?

(Elsa) So, you know...

- Oh, yeah. - (Elsa) Good, great.

(Max laughs awkwardly)

- (Max sighs) - (Elsa chuckles) Hey.

(Elsa struggles) Uh, no, no, sorry, because it's...

- (Elsa) Shall we? - Yeah.

(birds chirping)

Maxime?

- Hold on, she's seeing Maxime before us? - No way.

We're opening it up to start-ups, to teleworkers,

and we propose also some animations, um, and other events,

so that women feel supported, like small eggs in a large incubator.

- You see? Open to structures... - (Max) Where were you in Buenos Aires?

Um, just near... I was just near the Casa del Despacito.

And so... All right, so we create a place that is welcoming and cozy...

Have you seen the girls since you've been back?

(Elsa) Um, no? (laughs)

- That's really something... - Why, is there a problem?

Is there a problem? No problem, but, um...

OK, well, anyway, why don't we get straight to the point?

Uh, Max, what can I do to win the bid for the projects?

No, but wait, she made him depressed, and we had to put up with him.

- He could have at least informed us. - That's right.

- At least, it's not the... - Yeah.

- You know, the... um... - Yeah, I got it.

You got it? The one who...

Yeah, enough, I got it. Milou, wow, snap out of it already.

- All right? Focus! - But... Yeah.

- (Max sighs) I'm a fool. - (Elsa) What?

You don't actually wanna see me. You don't actually wanna see us.

You just needed me for work, that's it, you don't really care about our group.

Excuse me.

I thought I could, but really, I can't. Sorry.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Max, Max, Max, Max.

It's the opposite, I do love you guys a lot.

Don't leave. Look. Look. You see? And there.

- (typing) - I'm texting the group.

There.

(Elsa) To all our pals:

"We'll spend the night together, it will be awesome!"

- OK? There. - Uh-huh.

- Uh, did you really send that? - Yeah, yeah, look.

I sent it to the whole group!

- Feel better? - (Max) Yeah, yeah.

OK.

(chime)

- Do you think it will all be like before? - It will!

Well, except for your vagina because since the baby...

Not cool. Not cool. Nice try, but just not funny at all.

(grunting)

(Roman) Not what you thought!

ELSA: CELEBRATING MY RETURN TONIGHT. TIME TO MEET THE REAL JULIO!

- Hope you guys didn't have plans tonight. - Why's that?

Elsa's back.

Ah, you mean she's back?

- (Roman) Oh, fuck! - (Antoine) You talk too much.

- Can't even hear. - (Antoine) Come on.

- (Roman) Oh, that wasn't very fair. - (Antoine) Come on, let's go.

(Latin music)

(music continues)

THE ALIBI

- (Charlotte) Oh, she's here! - (applause)

(WELCOME HOME)

(cheering)

(Charlotte) Mwah!

(Milou) Fuck! You look amazing!

- (Elsa) Yeah! Oh... - Argentinian llama!

This cost me a fucking limb, but who cares?

- (Max) Let's not talk about money. - (Antoine) Look who's here!

- (Elsa) Oh, wow! - (Antoine) Yeah, I know.

- (Charlotte) He looks like me! - (Milou) Don't wake him up!

- Oh, sorry, sorry. He's beautiful. - It's true he looks more like his father.

- (Milou) Oh? Don't push it! - (Elsa) You guys did a good job.

(Charlotte) My nephew is a beautiful boy!

- Shots? - OK, let's celebrate!

Let's get a round of shots, all right! All good? Elsa!

- (cheering) - (all) To Elsa!

- That was funny: the del Prata Patio. - Where is it?

- Well, in Prata. - Oh, yeah.

- (Charlotte) Of course, I know Prata! - Sure.

And that was amazing, it was the Casa del Rey.

- (Matthieu) Whoa! - Casa del Rey!

- (Matthieu) Like the house of the king. - Yeah!

- Oh, we missed you so much! - Four months without us!

- How did you do it? - I have no idea!

I missed you so much. I missed you like crazy.

You know, your photos are almost professional.

- You're really talented! - (Charlotte) I know, right?

(Matthieu) But it's a shame you're never in them.

Oh, but...

They're all without you, we see your arms, hands, but never you.

That's what's artistic about them, don't you understand that?

- (Charlotte) Precisely that. - (Antoine) That's cool.

Yeah, well, I'm going out for a smoke.

- It's really beautiful! - Yeah.

- Hey, how's it going with Matt? - All right. We split up, remember?

- Oh, you didn't know? Because... - Well, no...

Don't worry, everything's fine. We still work together.

Well, I mean, I'm his boss!

- "El patron..." "El patronas"! - "El patron..."

- "El patronas"! - "El patronas"!

- Stop it. - Oh, my God.

(all scream)

Well? I bet you didn't eat many of these in Buenos Aires...

- Yeah, she ate burritos! - No, that's in Mexico.

- Fajitas! - That's Mexican, too.

- Empanadas! - Ah, all right, all right!

(music gets louder)

- It's on me! - What?

Shots!

(all chant) Shots! Shots! Shots!

Bottoms up!

Hey, the guys and I were wondering, did you meet a guy in Buenos Aires?

- Um, well, no... - No?

- No. - Did you hear from the prostitute?

- Can you please not call him that? - (Milou) Why not? Did he change jobs?

Well, yeah.

Well, I mean, no.

- I don't know. Maybe. I mean... - Anyway, what is it to you?

(Elsa) Well, it's...

- (Elsa sighs) I need to take a shit. - OK, just like that.

(muffled music)

- (typing) - (muffled cheering)

(message sent chime)

WHERE ARE YOU? YOU DON'T HAVE TO COME IF YOU DON'T WANT TO...

- DON'T YOU WANT ME TO COME? - I DO.

(muffled cheering continues)

I MEAN, IT'S UP TO YOU.

I'M COMING.

(Elsa sighs)

- (Milou) It's insane. - (Antoine) It's true. You didn't know?

(Antoine) I'm serious.

Oh, Julio! Hey!

- How are you, man? - How are you?

- (Julio) Everything good? Cool. - (Antoine) Good.

- (Julio) Hi, girls. - Hi.

- (Elsa) Hey, Julio! - You good?

Yeah.

- Nice of you to come to my little party! - Sure, I wasn't going to miss it.

Oh, yeah, well, he's not dressed up.

- (Max) You didn't play by the rules. - You, on the other hand...

- (Julio) Very classy! - Yeah, thanks.

- That's... That's cool. - It's really nice to see you, it's...

- (Julio) I'm really glad, too. - Yeah.

- I see you still work in home delivery. - Very observant. Absolutely.

What do you deliver? Small packages?

- (snorting) - Uh, chupito... Chupito!

- (Antoine) Come on, cheers! - What the hell is he doing here?

Come on! I'll get you a drink.

(Elsa) Excuse me, can we have two shots, please?

Yeah, a double.

It looks like...

Oh!

(Antoine) Have a drink, dude!

Oh, you're hot!

- You're really hot. - You're sweating.

- (Matthieu) You're sweating. - OK, I got it.

- Really, go get some air. Ugh. - Get some air.

(muffled music)

- So, when are we telling them? - Uh, soon, right?

(both) Thanks.

But why do you show up dressed like that?

I thought we were introducing the real Julio?

I mean, you're not just a delivery guy.

Well, I mean, you're... You're a musician, yeah?

Hmm.

He's never gonna drop it.

Look how she's so uncomfortable, poor thing.

(Milou) She's pulling her asthmatic fish face.

(insincere laughter)

- (Milou) We have to do something. - (Charlotte) Yeah or we'll lose her again.

I don't want to rush them.

I want them to get used to you,

for you... for you to become friends with my friends.

And for that to happen, I need to look like them?

(Julio) No.

I've played this game already, Elsa. It's not my thing, you know it.

We've been together four months. What are you doing?

I was supposed to be travelling, I'm telling you about my trip.

(Julio) Oh, really?

Get off the horse, please. How long is this going to last?

(Julio) I mean, come on.

Long enough for them to get used to you and...

Four more parties and they'll be begging us to get back together.

(Elsa laughs hysterically) It's all fine!

You know what? It's very easy to see that nobody wants me here.

I'm serious, stop playing this game. I'm going home. I'll meet you at my place.

Oh... Oh, look at him, poor guy...

(Milou) He was so happy that she came back.

- (Julio) Bye, then. - Oh, you're leaving now?

- (Milou) Oh, no, too bad. Oh... - Yeah. I'll see you soon?

- Sure! Yeah! - Oh, yeah, for sure!

Hold up, man, wait for me. I'm tired, I'm going to head home.

Oh, can you take the baby, then? Just take him so I can stay out.

- There you go. - I'm off, see you.

- (Antoine) OK. You coming with me, dude? - Yeah, I had a couple of beers.

- I'll just... - (Antoine) I think it's a good idea.

- (Latin music) - (both) Chupitos!

(both) Chupitos! Chupitos! Chupitos!

(distant laughter)

I was afraid that things wouldn't be the same...

- Really? - Yeah.

- But I actually missed you, girls. - What? Did you think you wouldn't?

Well...

Listen, you're not leaving anymore. We're done with that.

Nothing can separate us.

(all laugh) Aw!

I should... I should, um...

- I should go home. - Yeah? Where do you live now, by the way?

- Yeah, where? - Um, well, right here.

- (Charlotte and Milou) Oh! Cool. - (Elsa) Yeah.

(Elsa) Yeah, yeah.

- Oh, well, I'll see you soon, right? - Yeah, promise.

- (Charlotte) Like tomorrow? - Um, yeah, I'll... I'll give you a call.

- OK, cool. - Sounds good, see you then.

- (Elsa) Good night! - Yeah, can't wait!

- (Milou) Bye! - (Charlotte) So glad you're back!

- OK! - Good night!

- (buzzer) - (door rattles)

- I'll watch you leave! - (Milou) OK!

Good night! Sweet dreams!

(giggling)

(Milou) So glad she's back.

(door unlocks)

- (Elsa) You OK? - (Julio) Yeah, and you?

(Elsa) Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

- Your fake return home went well? - Um, yeah, not bad, not bad.

I don't know, it was...

I wasn't feeling super comfortable with the girls.

You know? I think it wasn't...

(Elsa) It wasn't the way it used to be. I found them a bit...

I found them a bit uptight, you know?

I don't know.

Elsa was acting weird with Jules tonight, I mean, Julio.

What if she likes him again? Ugh, nightmare.

No, impossible.

It could very well happen.

(Milou gasps) I just had the best idea.

Max!

- Maxime Pauillac. - The llama? Oh, no.

- But wait. - No, no, no.

When you go fishing, you have to bring worms!

Oh, I see, great, but Max? Talk about a worm!

Since he's been depressed, he's been almost nice.

That's the meds. Makes him a little slow. Does that to the dick, too.

- But at least, he's not a prostitute. - Yeah.

- And he hangs with us. - Yeah, that is a good point.

Maxime Pauillac. The perfect in-law. Huh.

(Elsa) Should we go to bed?

Well, I'm not sure.

I thought we were waiting for your friends to get used to me?

Uh, you know, when you left, I shared everything.

- (soft music) - What did you share?

Well, I told them, uh...

that I stayed for you...

in Paris.

(Elsa) That I love you.

That you're the man of my life.

And... And it was quite rough. Yeah.

But it's all done and now... we can move on.

(Elsa) I don't think I'll be seeing them anymore anyway, OK?

(Julio) What's important is that you're honest with me.

OK. Come on.

(jazzy electronic music)

(music changes)

♪ I'm feeling you closer ♪

♪ So close to me ♪

♪ I'm feeling you closer ♪

♪ So close to me ♪

♪ I'm feeling you closer ♪

♪ So close to me ♪

♪ I'm feeling you closer ♪

♪ So close to me ♪

♪ I'm feeling you closer ♪

♪ So close to me ♪

♪ I'm feeling you closer ♪

♪ So close to me ♪