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1
00:00:03,344 --> 00:00:07,144
[ snoring ]
2
00:00:07,137 --> 00:00:10,307
- [ music playing ]
- [ alarms ringing ]
3
00:00:14,206 --> 00:00:17,896
♪ When you,
when you told me ♪
4
00:00:17,896 --> 00:00:20,546
♪ That you,
that you were unhappy ♪
5
00:00:20,551 --> 00:00:23,551
♪ I asked you
to say it in French ♪
6
00:00:23,551 --> 00:00:26,971
♪ 'Cause I thought
that whatever you had to say ♪
7
00:00:26,965 --> 00:00:29,965
♪ Would sound
much better that way ♪
8
00:00:29,965 --> 00:00:33,755
♪ Or at least a little bit
more romantic ♪
9
00:00:33,758 --> 00:00:35,658
♪ Romantic, romantic
10
00:00:35,655 --> 00:00:38,585
♪ Oh, my God, was I wrong
11
00:00:38,586 --> 00:00:41,206
♪ When you look at me
12
00:00:41,206 --> 00:00:44,546
♪ You see lonely ♪
13
00:00:44,551 --> 00:00:47,311
♪ When I look at you ♪
14
00:00:47,310 --> 00:00:49,000
- This is mine.
- This is mine.
15
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:52,000
♪ I don't know what I see
16
00:00:55,965 --> 00:00:58,275
Kat: Okay, here I go.
Don't be intimidated.
17
00:00:58,275 --> 00:01:00,715
Just think of this place
as my kingdom.
18
00:01:00,724 --> 00:01:04,344
I'm Mufasa.
No, Scar!
19
00:01:04,344 --> 00:01:06,904
Hello, I'm here to interview
for the Young Directors'
Fellowship.
20
00:01:06,896 --> 00:01:09,376
It's just called
the Directors' Fellowship.
21
00:01:09,379 --> 00:01:12,339
- Oh.
- We know each other, Kat.
22
00:01:12,344 --> 00:01:14,864
You and I were in the same
Improv 101 class together
23
00:01:14,862 --> 00:01:16,832
and you kept doing
all those "SNL" characters,
24
00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:18,857
but you claimed
you'd never seen "SNL."
25
00:01:18,862 --> 00:01:21,622
Did we? I'm sorry,
I don't remember you.
26
00:01:21,620 --> 00:01:23,620
I do remember you, Sheila.
27
00:01:23,620 --> 00:01:24,970
Power move!
28
00:01:24,965 --> 00:01:27,655
Waiting room's
down the hall.
29
00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:29,205
Party on, Sheila.
30
00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:34,454
Excuse me.
31
00:01:34,448 --> 00:01:36,098
Everyone, can I have
your attention, please?
32
00:01:36,103 --> 00:01:38,143
Can you all circle up?
33
00:01:39,482 --> 00:01:41,282
Quickly.
34
00:01:41,275 --> 00:01:45,095
So, Gurknotters,
as we all know,
35
00:01:45,103 --> 00:01:47,383
we haven't had a hit pill
in a while.
36
00:01:47,379 --> 00:01:49,969
Sabantamed
was a huge disappointment.
37
00:01:49,965 --> 00:01:52,965
- More like Sabanta-dead.
- Good one.
38
00:01:52,965 --> 00:01:54,995
That was a good one.
39
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:58,480
But because of impending
lawsuits, we are going to have
to make some cutbacks,
40
00:01:58,482 --> 00:02:00,792
which means layoffs.
41
00:02:00,793 --> 00:02:03,343
Not for all of you,
just some of you.
42
00:02:03,344 --> 00:02:05,724
- Oh, no.
- Tiff, this must
be so hard for you.
43
00:02:05,724 --> 00:02:07,694
- It is.
- Bring it in, girl.
44
00:02:07,689 --> 00:02:10,169
I got you.
45
00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:12,242
I'm gonna get laid off,
I know it.
46
00:02:12,241 --> 00:02:15,141
Everyone knows Tiff just keeps
the people she likes around.
47
00:02:15,137 --> 00:02:17,967
I gotta get
in that inner circle.
48
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:24,900
So, you describe your directing
style as "jihad"?
49
00:02:24,896 --> 00:02:28,336
Yeah. See, why I'm a good fit
for the Young Directors'
Fellowship--
50
00:02:28,344 --> 00:02:30,144
It's just the Directors'
Fellowship.
51
00:02:30,137 --> 00:02:31,927
It's because my style
52
00:02:31,931 --> 00:02:35,001
is an intense mush-up
of what we're okay with
53
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,970
and what we're super not
okay with.
54
00:02:37,965 --> 00:02:41,755
Your resume is mostly...
babysitting.
55
00:02:41,758 --> 00:02:43,308
Oh, I went to college
for acting.
56
00:02:43,310 --> 00:02:45,100
Then I transitioned
into playwriting.
57
00:02:45,103 --> 00:02:47,763
Then I was a photographer.
Then I moved back to
the theater.
58
00:02:47,758 --> 00:02:49,858
And now I'm a director.
59
00:02:49,862 --> 00:02:52,972
Definitely.
60
00:02:52,965 --> 00:02:55,235
- Well, our program...
- Oh, shit.
61
00:02:55,241 --> 00:02:57,281
Did it sound like I don't know what I'm saying?
62
00:02:57,275 --> 00:03:00,545
Do I know what I'm saying?
Oh, well, I've made my choice.
63
00:03:00,551 --> 00:03:02,661
The only thing to do?
Do my choice harder.
64
00:03:02,655 --> 00:03:05,995
I recently started
my own theater company.
We're called [ bleep ] Fear.
65
00:03:09,206 --> 00:03:13,476
- Why is she here?
- Donations.
66
00:03:13,482 --> 00:03:16,452
- Mm.
- Well, Miss Souza,
this has been great.
67
00:03:16,448 --> 00:03:19,278
- Yeah, it has.
- So, moving forward,
68
00:03:19,275 --> 00:03:21,965
do you have any production
videos you could send us?
69
00:03:21,965 --> 00:03:24,995
Do I?
I don't.
70
00:03:27,275 --> 00:03:31,375
Maybe I should think less
on how not to be fired,
71
00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:35,449
and more on how I'm gonna cope with being fired.
72
00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:39,068
Really consider the reality
so it doesn't hurt as much.
73
00:03:39,068 --> 00:03:41,758
And maybe I'm focusing too much on work anyway.
74
00:03:41,758 --> 00:03:42,828
[ toilet flushing ]
75
00:03:42,827 --> 00:03:44,517
And you know what they say,
76
00:03:44,517 --> 00:03:47,997
all work and no play
makes a woman's eggs worthless.
77
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:51,100
- David?
- Hey, June,
sorry if I scared you.
78
00:03:51,103 --> 00:03:55,593
Kat let me in.
I'm done fixing your sink.
79
00:03:55,586 --> 00:03:59,236
Cool.
How have you been?
80
00:03:59,241 --> 00:04:01,241
I think I've turned a corner
in therapy.
81
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,551
We're using these dolls--
uh, it's a whole thing.
82
00:04:03,551 --> 00:04:04,901
That's great.
83
00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:06,546
Therapy!
84
00:04:06,551 --> 00:04:10,551
He's telling me about therapy. Is this foreplay?
85
00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:15,241
Well, till next time.
86
00:04:15,241 --> 00:04:18,381
Yep. Yeah.
87
00:04:18,379 --> 00:04:20,339
Somebody's hard.
88
00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:23,524
God! Stop!
He could have heard you.
Stop doing that.
89
00:04:23,517 --> 00:04:25,097
Nah, I'm real sneaky.
90
00:04:25,103 --> 00:04:28,073
Why don't you just stop
being a lame-o and ask him out?
91
00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:30,478
I don't know.
I mean, it would give
my life meaning.
92
00:04:30,482 --> 00:04:34,622
- Then do it, GF.
He seems really horny.
- Okay.
93
00:04:34,620 --> 00:04:36,450
- She's not gonna do it.
- I'm not gonna do it.
94
00:04:36,448 --> 00:04:38,968
- She's too scared.
- I'm too scared.
95
00:04:38,965 --> 00:04:40,755
So how did the interview go?
96
00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:42,518
Really well,
actually.
97
00:04:42,517 --> 00:04:45,027
All I have to do is send them
a video of one of my past
productions.
98
00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:49,314
- So...
- But you don't have any
past productions.
99
00:04:49,310 --> 00:04:52,830
That they know of.
I invited some [ bleep ] Fear
to come over later
100
00:04:52,827 --> 00:04:56,067
so we can film
an award-winning play we did.
101
00:04:56,068 --> 00:05:00,618
Get it? 'Cause we didn't,
but we're pretending, so...
102
00:05:00,620 --> 00:05:03,380
Yeah, I-- I get it.
It's, um-- it's very clever.
103
00:05:03,379 --> 00:05:04,589
'Cause of the winking?
104
00:05:04,586 --> 00:05:07,856
Well, two eyes, so,
you know, um, blinking.
105
00:05:07,862 --> 00:05:12,072
No because when I blink this eye
the other eye hurts, like,
really bad.
106
00:05:12,068 --> 00:05:13,858
So then I'm like, ah, ah,
ah, ah, ah.
107
00:05:13,862 --> 00:05:17,172
Stop doing it then!
You're doing it to yourself.
108
00:05:17,172 --> 00:05:20,312
Okay.
It's easy to not do.
109
00:05:20,310 --> 00:05:22,550
But it's a legitimate
disability.
110
00:05:22,551 --> 00:05:25,001
You can't say that.
111
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:29,760
Okay, I think the only thing
that really matters is showing
our aesthetic.
112
00:05:29,758 --> 00:05:31,688
What's our aesthetic again?
113
00:05:31,689 --> 00:05:34,029
Just like things
that are scary and sexy,
114
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:37,834
but also say,
"Huh. That is true."
115
00:05:37,827 --> 00:05:39,787
- Totally.
- I agree with that.
116
00:05:39,793 --> 00:05:42,453
- I want to have duct tape
on my mouth.
- That's a great start.
117
00:05:42,448 --> 00:05:44,028
- Nudity.
- Oh, for sure.
118
00:05:44,034 --> 00:05:46,414
- Witches.
- Oh, [ bleep ].
119
00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:49,103
Are we all thinking
the same thing?
120
00:05:49,103 --> 00:05:51,073
- Punk.
- Twins: Punk.
121
00:05:51,068 --> 00:05:54,928
All: Rock "Macbeth"!
122
00:05:54,931 --> 00:05:56,861
- Nice.
- Pomegranates.
123
00:05:56,862 --> 00:06:01,662
- People on dog leashes!
- I was literally just
about to say that.
124
00:06:01,655 --> 00:06:03,445
- Aah! Yes! Yes!
- Yeah!
125
00:06:03,448 --> 00:06:06,618
Oh, my God.
It's so embarrassing.
126
00:06:06,620 --> 00:06:08,620
- Why would you do that?
- Why would she do this?
127
00:06:08,620 --> 00:06:13,760
- Mm-mm. That's not
the way to go.
- [ chuckles ]
128
00:06:13,758 --> 00:06:15,928
- Have you seen this yet?
- Yes.
129
00:06:15,931 --> 00:06:19,281
Need to learn to listen
to the question
before answering.
130
00:06:19,275 --> 00:06:21,305
Uh, no.
131
00:06:21,310 --> 00:06:24,100
Okay, well, Megan from
accounting made a music video.
132
00:06:24,103 --> 00:06:25,693
- You have to see it.
- Yeah.
133
00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:26,899
It's on YouTube.
134
00:06:26,896 --> 00:06:28,826
♪ Believe in yourself
135
00:06:28,827 --> 00:06:30,337
♪ Believe in your dreams
136
00:06:30,344 --> 00:06:34,414
♪ 'Cause we're all made
of dream ♪
137
00:06:34,413 --> 00:06:37,413
Oh, I don't want
to laugh at this.
138
00:06:37,413 --> 00:06:40,793
I like Megan.
She's the only one
who's nice to me.
139
00:06:40,793 --> 00:06:43,003
[ forced laughter ]
140
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:47,790
That is bad!
Whoo-wee!
141
00:06:47,793 --> 00:06:50,973
Do it, June.
Join the fray.
142
00:06:50,965 --> 00:06:55,585
And slowly...
okay, no one noticed.
143
00:06:55,586 --> 00:06:57,166
Going good.
144
00:06:57,172 --> 00:07:00,832
Now I have to contribute
something.
145
00:07:00,827 --> 00:07:02,237
Do I...
146
00:07:02,241 --> 00:07:05,481
If you think that's bad,
wait till you see this.
147
00:07:05,482 --> 00:07:06,692
[ phone clicks ]
148
00:07:06,689 --> 00:07:09,859
[ music playing ]
149
00:07:16,482 --> 00:07:19,862
all: Double, double,
toil, and trouble.
150
00:07:19,862 --> 00:07:24,002
cauldron boil and...
[ high-pitched shrieking ]
151
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,170
[ punk music playing ]
152
00:07:28,620 --> 00:07:30,340
- What?
- Whoa.
153
00:07:34,034 --> 00:07:38,454
We are not afraid.
154
00:07:38,448 --> 00:07:40,618
[ screaming ]
155
00:07:40,620 --> 00:07:43,760
- [ chuckles ]
- Wow.
156
00:07:43,758 --> 00:07:46,618
Shakespeare is rolling over
in her grave.
157
00:07:46,620 --> 00:07:48,280
That's right, I said it.
A lady.
158
00:07:48,275 --> 00:07:50,515
That was the worst thing
I've ever seen,
159
00:07:50,517 --> 00:07:52,717
and it's amazing.
160
00:07:52,724 --> 00:07:56,034
- Are those
the team-building girls?
- Yes. I live with one of them.
161
00:07:56,034 --> 00:07:59,834
- Ew, why?
- "Ew, why?" Exactly.
I know.
162
00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:03,657
Oh, my God.
I would seriously go see a show
because it looks so bad.
163
00:08:03,655 --> 00:08:06,785
- Yeah.
- It's a weird ironic thing
that I do.
164
00:08:06,793 --> 00:08:08,413
- Oh.
- It's crazy, I know.
165
00:08:08,413 --> 00:08:10,343
That's so weird and ironic
and crazy.
166
00:08:10,344 --> 00:08:13,724
- I love that outfit.
- Oh, I heart yours too.
167
00:08:13,724 --> 00:08:15,244
She hearts mine's too.
168
00:08:15,241 --> 00:08:18,281
I have to send this
to my Sigma Phi Taffeta girls.
169
00:08:18,275 --> 00:08:19,855
- Can you send me a link?
- I want one, too.
170
00:08:19,862 --> 00:08:22,592
- Ooh, and me.
- Yeah, totes magotes, guys.
171
00:08:22,586 --> 00:08:25,026
Consider it sent.
Whoosh.
172
00:08:25,034 --> 00:08:27,244
- Thanks.
- Oh, my gosh.
This is gonna be so...
173
00:08:27,241 --> 00:08:30,001
I'm in!
This isn't bad.
174
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,240
I'm not really
making fun of Kat.
175
00:08:32,241 --> 00:08:34,381
I'm doing this
to keep my job.
176
00:08:34,379 --> 00:08:36,859
If I don't have a job,
then I can't pay rent.
177
00:08:36,862 --> 00:08:38,592
Then Kat and I
would be homeless,
178
00:08:38,586 --> 00:08:40,756
and I hear more homeless women are being raped these days.
179
00:08:40,758 --> 00:08:46,028
I have to make fun of Kat
so she doesn't get raped.
180
00:08:46,034 --> 00:08:48,144
So this is what it feels like
to go viral.
181
00:08:48,137 --> 00:08:51,307
Exhilarating, nerve-wracking,
completely titillating.
182
00:08:51,310 --> 00:08:53,830
- [ computer chimes ]
- Stupid June.
183
00:08:53,827 --> 00:08:59,787
Probably another chain letter
she's scared to not forward
to seven people.
184
00:08:59,793 --> 00:09:01,483
- What the?
- [ gasps ]
185
00:09:01,482 --> 00:09:04,282
Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
Oh, God! Oh, God!
186
00:09:10,241 --> 00:09:13,901
June!
I always knew you were
a fat piece of shit.
187
00:09:15,344 --> 00:09:19,314
Okay. Just gotta hide
for a couple days
188
00:09:19,310 --> 00:09:22,480
until I've crafted
an incredibly sincere apology.
189
00:09:22,482 --> 00:09:25,412
Sneak into the kitchen,
grab a few snack packs,
190
00:09:25,413 --> 00:09:27,413
maybe just grab a few bottles
of water to--
191
00:09:27,413 --> 00:09:30,763
Well, well, well.
192
00:09:30,758 --> 00:09:34,208
Sneaking in so you don't have
to face me because
you're a coward?
193
00:09:34,206 --> 00:09:35,756
No.
Yes.
194
00:09:35,758 --> 00:09:39,308
Kat, I am so sorry.
I do not think your video
was lame.
195
00:09:39,310 --> 00:09:41,620
I promise.
I was just trying to fit in.
196
00:09:41,620 --> 00:09:43,660
Like a lame Mary Warren.
197
00:09:43,655 --> 00:09:46,475
And you're brave,
sexy Abigail.
198
00:09:46,482 --> 00:09:51,102
Oh, I'm so Abigail.
And David is John Proctor.
199
00:09:51,103 --> 00:09:53,623
Which works really well
because he has a dead wife.
200
00:09:53,620 --> 00:09:55,380
- Yeah.
- No!
201
00:09:55,379 --> 00:09:57,689
Stop distracting me
with fun "Crucible" casting.
202
00:09:57,689 --> 00:09:59,789
I'm sorry.
203
00:09:59,793 --> 00:10:02,693
I just had to belittle
someone to make a girl
think I was cool.
204
00:10:02,689 --> 00:10:05,479
Okay, that's what every
unlikeable character
ever written says.
205
00:10:05,482 --> 00:10:09,832
Yes, exactly!
I would never claim
to be likeable.
206
00:10:09,827 --> 00:10:11,997
Well, two can play
at that game.
207
00:10:15,724 --> 00:10:17,244
Why are you making
those faces?
208
00:10:21,965 --> 00:10:24,825
- You got a calendar?
- Yeah.
209
00:10:24,827 --> 00:10:26,377
You notice anything
written on it?
210
00:10:29,275 --> 00:10:30,275
What?
211
00:10:33,965 --> 00:10:36,895
You're going on a date
with David?
212
00:10:36,896 --> 00:10:39,206
- My David?
- Yeah. I asked him out,
213
00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:41,546
and he basically [ bleep ]
all over himself.
214
00:10:41,551 --> 00:10:43,141
Oh. You know what?
215
00:10:43,137 --> 00:10:45,997
I was just about to start
maybe lightly trusting you,
216
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,790
and then you stab me
in the back.
217
00:10:47,793 --> 00:10:50,413
- How could you do this to me?
- How could you do what you did
to me?
218
00:10:50,413 --> 00:10:52,033
He's the love of my life!
219
00:10:52,034 --> 00:10:55,214
Well, not anymore.
I'm his new dead wife--
regular wife.
220
00:10:55,206 --> 00:10:57,206
Oh, that is so low.
221
00:10:57,206 --> 00:11:00,446
I'm probably gonna kill myself
I'm so sad.
222
00:11:00,448 --> 00:11:03,028
Cool. You and Mrs. David
can watch us having sex
223
00:11:03,034 --> 00:11:04,794
while you're getting fat
in heaven.
224
00:11:04,793 --> 00:11:08,933
You di-- you know,
I can't believe you.
225
00:11:08,931 --> 00:11:11,031
Wait,
when did you get a calendar?
226
00:11:11,034 --> 00:11:12,594
- I just had it.
- No, you didn't.
227
00:11:12,586 --> 00:11:14,166
- I did. I had it.
- No, you didn't.
228
00:11:14,172 --> 00:11:18,282
You bought that calendar
specifically for this moment.
229
00:11:18,275 --> 00:11:21,895
- Oh, it is so on.
- It is on like Donkey Kong.
230
00:11:21,896 --> 00:11:28,206
- Is a many times on.
- It is on like the bomb.com
has been known to be on.
231
00:11:29,758 --> 00:11:33,278
♪ I'd trade my tears
for an ounce of flour ♪
232
00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:36,925
♪ And from that flour
so bread I'd bake ♪
233
00:11:36,931 --> 00:11:42,001
♪ And feed that bread
to you I would ♪
234
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:45,480
♪ And you would know
my sadness ♪
235
00:11:45,482 --> 00:11:47,002
- Hey, June.
- [ gasps ]
236
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,340
David?
237
00:11:50,206 --> 00:11:52,926
You got a nice voice.
238
00:11:52,931 --> 00:11:56,861
Oh, uh, me?
[ chuckles ]
239
00:11:56,862 --> 00:12:00,002
I'm glad I ran into you.
I, uh, forgot to invite you
240
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,930
to a fundraiser I'm throwing
this Friday.
241
00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:05,620
- This Friday?
- Yeah, it's to fund research
242
00:12:05,620 --> 00:12:07,760
on the disease
that killed my wife.
243
00:12:07,758 --> 00:12:12,448
Ha-ha-ha. It looks like little Miss Everyone Wants To Have Sex With Me isn't.
244
00:12:12,448 --> 00:12:15,618
I'm inviting everyone.
I told Kat to invite you.
245
00:12:15,620 --> 00:12:18,210
[ laughing ]
246
00:12:18,206 --> 00:12:22,616
My therapist wants me to think
about Judy's disease like a man.
247
00:12:22,620 --> 00:12:24,450
A man she left me for.
248
00:12:24,448 --> 00:12:28,098
And the only thing left
for me to do now is...
249
00:12:28,103 --> 00:12:30,483
kill the man.
250
00:12:30,482 --> 00:12:32,312
By throwing him a party?
251
00:12:32,310 --> 00:12:33,830
No. It's...
252
00:12:33,827 --> 00:12:38,547
a fundraiser to fund research
to cure the disease...
253
00:12:38,551 --> 00:12:40,901
kill the man.
I think that's...
254
00:12:40,896 --> 00:12:42,826
Screw you for lying to me,
Kat.
255
00:12:42,827 --> 00:12:45,097
I'm gonna have sex
with David. Me!
256
00:12:45,103 --> 00:12:48,593
And it will be so casual,
we'll probably get married.
257
00:12:48,586 --> 00:12:55,336
...and the money
is the sword, so that's...
258
00:12:55,344 --> 00:12:56,454
It's Friday at 7:00.
259
00:12:56,448 --> 00:12:59,378
[ chuckles ]
260
00:13:05,517 --> 00:13:07,407
Getting ready
for your date?
261
00:13:07,413 --> 00:13:11,383
- Yeah.
- Cool.
262
00:13:11,379 --> 00:13:15,029
Very...cool.
263
00:13:15,034 --> 00:13:17,484
Okay, what are you--
why are you making
those faces?
264
00:13:17,482 --> 00:13:21,212
Oh, no reason.
265
00:13:21,206 --> 00:13:23,756
All right, I get it.
You want me to-- okay, Jesus.
266
00:13:26,793 --> 00:13:30,483
Oh, everyone's invited?
I knew not.
267
00:13:30,482 --> 00:13:32,342
Oh, you knew did.
268
00:13:32,344 --> 00:13:33,974
David told me as much.
269
00:13:33,965 --> 00:13:37,165
See ya there,
Cha-cha.
270
00:13:39,517 --> 00:13:41,237
Oh, bad walk choice.
271
00:13:41,241 --> 00:13:43,141
This may be undercutting
my victory.
272
00:13:43,137 --> 00:13:45,407
No, we're fine.
273
00:13:45,413 --> 00:13:47,173
[ inhales, exhales deeply ]
274
00:13:47,172 --> 00:13:49,522
[ indistinct chatter ]
275
00:13:49,517 --> 00:13:51,137
Okay, where's David?
276
00:13:51,137 --> 00:13:53,307
You hear the phrase,
"shell of a man"?
277
00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:57,070
- Damn it!
- You're never really sure what
it means till you're there.
278
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,522
You know what's a cool statistic
I just learned?
279
00:14:01,517 --> 00:14:04,167
- What?
- You know the game
Rock, Paper, Scissors?
280
00:14:04,172 --> 00:14:07,862
- I do.
- Well, studies show that men...
281
00:14:07,862 --> 00:14:10,072
they choose rock,
282
00:14:10,068 --> 00:14:12,588
and women, well,
283
00:14:12,586 --> 00:14:16,026
they choose scissors.
284
00:14:16,034 --> 00:14:20,974
Who would do this study?
That seems like a really
unnecessary study.
285
00:14:20,965 --> 00:14:24,785
- I'm gonna see if my buddy
needs any help.
- Okay, uh...
286
00:14:26,655 --> 00:14:29,275
- Nuts.
- [ chuckles ]
287
00:14:34,758 --> 00:14:37,408
Oh, thank you.
Thank you for that.
288
00:14:40,724 --> 00:14:43,724
- I bet I could jump over you.
- How much you want to bet
Tessa could jump over you?
289
00:14:43,724 --> 00:14:47,594
- I have a mentally strong...
- Even those two are talking
to people.
290
00:14:47,586 --> 00:14:49,616
I'm so alone.
291
00:14:49,620 --> 00:14:52,070
David!
292
00:14:52,068 --> 00:14:54,278
Hi. Hi, David.
293
00:14:54,275 --> 00:14:55,785
This party is off the hook.
294
00:14:55,793 --> 00:15:00,863
Oh, thanks.
Sorry, we just lost
one of our hosts.
295
00:15:00,862 --> 00:15:02,972
To the sickness?
296
00:15:02,965 --> 00:15:04,715
No, no.
[ chuckles ]
297
00:15:04,724 --> 00:15:07,794
- He had to go home.
- Oh.
298
00:15:07,793 --> 00:15:09,763
Excuse me, I gotta go
put on some more music.
299
00:15:09,758 --> 00:15:11,928
Oh, June can do that.
She loves music.
300
00:15:11,931 --> 00:15:13,861
Talking about it,
choosing it.
301
00:15:13,862 --> 00:15:16,452
She's just all
strong opinions about music.
302
00:15:16,448 --> 00:15:18,208
- Oh, yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
303
00:15:18,206 --> 00:15:20,686
Cool.
Uh, my computer's over there.
304
00:15:20,689 --> 00:15:23,169
[ chuckles ]
Cool.
305
00:15:24,862 --> 00:15:27,072
Oh, God.
My biggest fear.
306
00:15:27,068 --> 00:15:30,068
- [ heart beating ]
- Okay, remember,
no matter what,
307
00:15:30,068 --> 00:15:33,478
you will make
the wrong choice.
308
00:15:33,482 --> 00:15:36,662
[ music playing ]
309
00:15:43,448 --> 00:15:47,758
- Who chose this?
- I don't know, I'm just trying
to change it for the--
310
00:15:47,758 --> 00:15:50,098
Oh, my God, Tiff!
Too much.
311
00:15:50,103 --> 00:15:53,213
June, hi.
Can I put something else on?
312
00:15:53,206 --> 00:15:56,026
Yes!
After you.
313
00:15:57,931 --> 00:16:00,071
- There.
- Cool choice.
314
00:16:00,068 --> 00:16:02,928
- Yeah.
So what brings you here?
- Yeah.
315
00:16:02,931 --> 00:16:05,791
Oh, uh,
Well, David's our landlord.
316
00:16:05,793 --> 00:16:08,243
And I'm just here
supporting the cause.
317
00:16:08,241 --> 00:16:11,791
- Mm-hmm.
- You know, I just really
believe in the cause. You?
318
00:16:11,793 --> 00:16:14,383
I was in a lady book club
with his late wife.
319
00:16:14,379 --> 00:16:15,969
So sad.
320
00:16:15,965 --> 00:16:18,925
I mean, we just has no idea that
she was sick the whole time.
321
00:16:18,931 --> 00:16:24,001
- It's just...
- Am I dancing with Tiff?
322
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,410
Oh, my God.
We're hanging out.
323
00:16:26,413 --> 00:16:27,863
I may not get fired.
324
00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:29,972
This is the best night
of my life!
325
00:16:29,965 --> 00:16:32,405
Like, I want to read
a little bit, but not,
like, a lot.
326
00:16:32,413 --> 00:16:33,623
- I'm not a nerd.
- No.
327
00:16:33,620 --> 00:16:37,140
[ indistinct chatter ]
328
00:16:37,137 --> 00:16:41,137
I just feel so bad for David
and those two little girls.
329
00:16:41,137 --> 00:16:46,207
It's just-- it's ver--
it's-- it's so hard.
330
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:49,686
Looks like I'll be going home alone, as is my wont.
331
00:16:49,689 --> 00:16:52,309
- David has AIDS, so...
- Yeah.
332
00:16:52,310 --> 00:16:54,240
Wait, what?
Who does?
333
00:16:54,241 --> 00:16:57,861
David's wife died of AIDS?
And he has it, too?
334
00:16:57,862 --> 00:16:59,762
Is that what we're here for?
335
00:16:59,758 --> 00:17:03,618
"Many Tired AIDS-y Dads"?
336
00:17:03,620 --> 00:17:06,690
[ gasps ]
No wonder he's so sleepy
all the time.
337
00:17:06,689 --> 00:17:09,719
That is so horribly sad.
Oh, shit.
338
00:17:09,724 --> 00:17:14,484
Kat just left with him, and she never uses protection. I have to warn her!
339
00:17:14,482 --> 00:17:16,312
- I have to pee.
- Mm, okay.
340
00:17:16,310 --> 00:17:18,170
But make it a respectful
warning, June.
341
00:17:18,172 --> 00:17:19,862
There's an acceptance of AIDS
right now,
342
00:17:19,862 --> 00:17:22,002
and I'm not quite sure
how to navigate.
343
00:17:25,344 --> 00:17:27,834
- David, that's a big case
of wine.
- [ gasps ]
344
00:17:27,827 --> 00:17:30,717
- You got some wine in there.
- Kat! Kat!
345
00:17:30,724 --> 00:17:33,004
Just-- oh, my God, listen.
Where's-- where's David?
346
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,550
He went to get more wine
for the party, and then he says
we're gonna have sex.
347
00:17:36,551 --> 00:17:39,551
Or he said, "And then
you'll help me carry it,"
but same thing.
348
00:17:39,551 --> 00:17:41,341
Oh, thank God.
Okay, listen.
349
00:17:41,344 --> 00:17:45,414
- What?
- David has AIDS.
350
00:17:45,413 --> 00:17:47,343
- No, he doesn't.
- Yeah, he does.
351
00:17:47,344 --> 00:17:49,694
- Okay, June,
this is real desperate.
- Kat, I'm serious.
352
00:17:49,689 --> 00:17:55,209
It's what his wife died of.
This benefit is for him,
for his AIDS.
353
00:17:55,206 --> 00:17:58,376
Oh, Jesus.
No wonder he's so sleepy.
354
00:17:58,379 --> 00:18:02,549
- That's what I said.
- I was gonna have sex with him
without a condom.
355
00:18:02,551 --> 00:18:03,721
Yeah, I know,
without a condom.
356
00:18:03,724 --> 00:18:07,074
I gotta stop doing that.
357
00:18:07,068 --> 00:18:09,308
- Yes!
- Oh, my God. Oh, whoops.
358
00:18:09,310 --> 00:18:12,860
- I gotta help him carry
more wine. Ugh.
- What?
359
00:18:16,172 --> 00:18:17,972
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
360
00:18:19,965 --> 00:18:21,925
[ sighs ]
361
00:18:21,931 --> 00:18:24,031
[ sighs ]
Poor David.
362
00:18:24,034 --> 00:18:26,724
He must feel so broken
and unlovable.
363
00:18:28,758 --> 00:18:31,718
I know what happened,
and I want to say I'm sorry
364
00:18:31,724 --> 00:18:34,244
about your life
or what's left of it.
365
00:18:34,241 --> 00:18:37,551
Wow, um, thank you.
366
00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:39,661
I mean, uh,
oh, God.
367
00:18:39,655 --> 00:18:41,995
Uh, well, I-- ahem.
368
00:18:44,379 --> 00:18:47,099
It's been hard, um...
369
00:18:47,103 --> 00:18:49,103
You know what?
[ bleep ] convention.
370
00:18:49,103 --> 00:18:53,173
F the CDC.
This sick man is a human being.
371
00:18:53,172 --> 00:18:56,242
Fuck fear.
I'm gonna have sex
with this man with AIDS
372
00:18:56,241 --> 00:18:59,171
because it is
the right thing to do.
373
00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:01,722
I am so incredibly
raving good.
374
00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:03,594
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing?
375
00:19:03,586 --> 00:19:05,516
I'm kissing you
because you have AIDS.
376
00:19:05,517 --> 00:19:07,207
Does my bravery
turn you on?
377
00:19:07,206 --> 00:19:09,926
- Jesus, I don't have AIDS.
- Yes, you do.
378
00:19:09,931 --> 00:19:13,101
Your wife gave them to you.
June told me.
379
00:19:13,103 --> 00:19:15,553
I've actually told both of you
many times how she died.
380
00:19:15,551 --> 00:19:19,171
Oh, my God, was June lying to me to stop me from sleeping with David?
381
00:19:19,172 --> 00:19:20,282
Oh, that is low.
382
00:19:20,275 --> 00:19:21,995
And...
383
00:19:25,103 --> 00:19:26,483
nothing matters.
384
00:19:26,482 --> 00:19:27,862
Twins, beat her up!
385
00:19:27,862 --> 00:19:29,902
- Wait, what? Why?
- [ twins growling ]
386
00:19:29,896 --> 00:19:31,926
- Stop!
- 'Cause you told me
David has AIDS.
387
00:19:31,931 --> 00:19:34,591
- He does!
- Nobody has AIDS!
388
00:19:34,586 --> 00:19:37,136
I mean, you know,
some people do have AIDS.
389
00:19:37,137 --> 00:19:40,617
- But Tiff told me that--
- What? No. No, no, no, no, no.
390
00:19:40,620 --> 00:19:45,210
I said it must be really hard
for David to take care
of two kids on his own,
391
00:19:45,206 --> 00:19:47,066
but he has aides to help.
392
00:19:47,068 --> 00:19:50,238
- So he does have AIDS!
- No, Kat,
393
00:19:50,241 --> 00:19:52,971
aides as in helpers.
And why would you say that
so accusatory?
394
00:19:52,965 --> 00:19:54,995
Why would she say it
so non-colloquially?
395
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,860
I think that this
was a mistake.
396
00:19:57,862 --> 00:20:01,142
I wasn't ready.
He already won.
397
00:20:01,137 --> 00:20:04,477
- Who's he?
- He is who Judy left him for.
398
00:20:04,482 --> 00:20:06,862
Judy had an affair?
399
00:20:06,862 --> 00:20:11,282
She was having an affair
with the disease!
400
00:20:11,275 --> 00:20:13,925
What was the disease again?
401
00:20:13,931 --> 00:20:18,341
I have told you
so many times.
402
00:20:18,344 --> 00:20:20,284
You should go.
403
00:20:20,275 --> 00:20:22,375
Yep, okay, mm-hmm.
404
00:20:22,379 --> 00:20:27,029
Oh, no.
It is done. Let's go.
405
00:20:27,034 --> 00:20:29,214
It's okay.
406
00:20:29,206 --> 00:20:31,096
You're with Tiff now.
407
00:20:31,103 --> 00:20:34,313
Oh, God. Oh, God.
I have to go back
and explain to Tiff
408
00:20:34,310 --> 00:20:38,170
that I have
a listening disability.
Yes, that's what I'll say.
409
00:20:38,172 --> 00:20:40,722
She can't fire me
if I have a auditory handicap.
410
00:20:40,724 --> 00:20:44,764
And I'll tell David
that I'm sorry and I love him.
411
00:20:44,758 --> 00:20:46,718
Okay, don't be an idiot.
It's gonna be fine.
412
00:20:46,724 --> 00:20:50,174
Tiff got to play the hero,
and David, well,
413
00:20:50,172 --> 00:20:52,282
he's too good for you.
414
00:20:52,275 --> 00:20:54,825
- You're right, you're right.
- And I'd make a fat ass
donation
415
00:20:54,827 --> 00:20:58,097
- to mystery disease,
if I were you.
- Uh-huh.
416
00:20:58,103 --> 00:21:00,483
Thanks for trying
to save my life
417
00:21:00,482 --> 00:21:02,622
when you wrongly told me
David had AIDS.
418
00:21:02,620 --> 00:21:05,660
It's the least I could do.
419
00:21:05,655 --> 00:21:07,925
Just bring it up.
You can do it.
420
00:21:07,931 --> 00:21:10,901
Hey, um...
421
00:21:10,896 --> 00:21:13,716
I feel really bad
about the video thing.
422
00:21:13,724 --> 00:21:15,454
[ laughing ]
Grovel!
423
00:21:15,448 --> 00:21:17,068
- Go on.
- It's just that I generally
424
00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:19,688
feel insecure
and you never do.
425
00:21:19,689 --> 00:21:21,829
You always take risks
and follow your gut.
426
00:21:21,827 --> 00:21:24,587
And I don't know,
I just wish I could be
more like that.
427
00:21:24,586 --> 00:21:26,786
Oh, no, I'm starting to say
real things.
428
00:21:26,793 --> 00:21:28,903
Ha-ha,
she's saying real things.
429
00:21:28,896 --> 00:21:31,306
Oh, no, I want to, too.
Thanks.
430
00:21:31,310 --> 00:21:35,240
I mean, I kinda had that idea,
but thanks for saying that.
431
00:21:35,241 --> 00:21:39,791
And I'm sorry for lying
about having a date with David.
432
00:21:39,793 --> 00:21:42,173
I was feeling bad
about myself.
433
00:21:42,172 --> 00:21:44,142
And I wanted to hurt you
434
00:21:44,137 --> 00:21:47,757
'cause it makes me
feel better about myself.
435
00:21:47,758 --> 00:21:50,138
Well, what are
best friends for, right?
436
00:21:50,137 --> 00:21:52,097
- Did I mean that?
- Did you mean that?
437
00:21:52,103 --> 00:21:54,173
No, that can't be.
She's ridiculous.
438
00:21:54,172 --> 00:21:58,312
She's crazy, but I do love her more than anyone I know.
439
00:21:58,310 --> 00:22:01,100
Both: My God.
440
00:22:01,103 --> 00:22:04,073
[ music playing ]
441
00:22:08,413 --> 00:22:10,763
- Oh!
- [ chuckles ]
442
00:22:10,758 --> 00:22:14,898
- Oh, I don't know how
to walk like this.
- I'm really off-balance,
443
00:22:14,896 --> 00:22:16,786
but I can't pull out of the hold now.
444
00:22:16,793 --> 00:22:20,313
I guess I have to live
with my terrible choices,
445
00:22:20,310 --> 00:22:22,100
as is my wont.
446
00:22:22,103 --> 00:22:25,073
[ music playing ]
34362
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