All language subtitles for Overthinking with Kat s01e02_Engh

June:
Poison was such
an effective weapon

for women
in the olden days.

Muddling roots and berries
and herbs.

Murder was so much
simpler back then.

Kat:
What a weird time
to make a salad.

Her husband just threatened her
with a musket.

June, is he the one
that's gonna die?

[ clears throat ]
What?

- Shh!
- It's not a spoiler,
it's in the trailer.

- Shh!
- Maybe the twins told me.

Oh, yeah, they did.
Uh-huh.

[ whispers ] Great.
Now stop talking,
and watch the movie.

My God, she's a loud whisperer,

but she did buy me popcorn.

I told you that
if you wanted me to come
to a movie with you,

I'm gonna talk
through it.

I thought you were kidding.

I am not gonna pay $20
to be silenced.

- Shh!
- You are ruining the movie.

Movie ruined itself

when they asked
Scarlett Johansson to do
that emotional scene.

When did America decide
that she was very good?

- [ gasps ]
- Oh, sorry.

I thought it was gonna
be a loud part.

Please.

- Please be quiet.
- Fine.

Thank you.

I'm so sorry.

Ugh, all these sorrys.

I gotta tell June
women no longer apologize.

MeToo.

I recognize that actor.

Who is that?

Ugh, this is gonna
drive me crazy.

It's the guy from "Breaking
Bad" and "Friday Night Lights."

Man, he's in everything now.

I have to ask Kat.

I'll just do it quietly
and quickly.

- Hey, who's that actor?
- It's the guy
from "Breaking Bad."

People:
Shh!

By shush, I'm sure
they all mean thank you.

Thank you.

[ music playing ]

Ugh, look at Tiff.

Healthy hair, glowing skin.

Oh, to be a glove upon
that cheek.

Nonsexually.

How does everyone interact
with her so effortlessly?

I need to be easy-breezy.

Who's easy-breezy?

Tom Hanks.
Pretend you're Tom Hanks.

[ deep voice ]
Hello.

Hey, June.

Yeah, I love how it's like
breakfast over here.

Mmm, donuts.

Yeah, so glad
donuts are good again.

I mean, not good
as in good for you,
like good as in trendy.

Like, they're not just
for steel workers anymore.

That is so true, Bobby.

So true.

Okay.
So, tag me in the pics,

and don't forget to use
the NomNomNomWiffTiff.

Nom--
That is so cute.

That is like the most
adorable hashtag.

I know, it's so dorky,
but I love wordplay.

I'm such a nerd.

Let's take a pic.

I don't know if I should--

Uh, am I part of this?

- Mm. No. Yes?
- Tiff: Here we go.

- Yeah.
- Cheers-ies.

All: Cheers-ies.

- [ camera shutter clicks ]
- Cheers-ies.

- Great.
- Okay, I'm not gonna
actually eat it.

- Tag you, June.
- Oh, um, no.

I don't have one.

Yes, you do.

I found it the other day.
Had to look real hard.

It's me-12345.

Damn it!
That was a practice account.

No one was supposed to find it!

It's three identical
photos of you

standing next
to different statues,

and then there's one
that's just a ticket
stub for "Mamma Mia."

- Mm.
- Why do you only have
four pictures?

I'm just too... insecure...
busy to post more.

If I had a cool Instagram,

I could use that hashtag and
then Tiff would like my pic,

and then we'd be real friends!

- Well, I'm tagging you.
- No, no, no! Don't.

Bobby, I have a new
Instagram account,

but the portal is down
right now.

So I will give it
to you tomorrow.

[ music playing ]

Man:
Move throughout the space,
let the walls disappear.

Ah, the theater.

This is where I belong.
This is my home.

Man:
Good spatial
awareness, guys.

Good rhythmic timing.

There's no right way to do this.

Angelica,
you're doing very well.

Great, guys.

Soft focus.

Good, good, Angelica.

I invite you to investigate
this gesture as a group.

Mercy.

Good. Go with this.

No mercy.

- No hope.
- On 9/11--

Okay, stop. Kat, you can't make
every piece about 9/11.

We're improvising
on the theme

of America's
incarceration crisis.

Yeah, but this is what America's
incarceration crisis
means to me.

Me, who lived and died.

A steel prison in the sky.

55 flights of stairs.

Crumble, crumble,
boom, boom, down.

No, no, no, no.
We have to start over.

Stick to the theme, Kat.
Listen to the group.

Solitary confinement.

One hour of sunlight everyday--

- 4,000 firemen!
- Okay, Kat, can I talk to you?

Okay.

Kat.

Do you think
that you fit in here?

Yes! Uh-oh. I mean, yes.

It's not working.

I don't think
this is the group you should
be collaborating with.

You don't fit in here.

Well maybe
you don't fit in me.

Sorry.

Gotta go.

I got a big audition with
The White Rose Theater Company.

That closed down
three years ago.

Crumble, crumble,
boom, boom, down.

[ music playing ]

Sorry for actually breaking
the washing machine.

I was trying to fake break it
so David would come
over to fix it,

but now it's actually broken.

[ grunts ]
This is the worst day
of my life!

I made really bold choices
at theater work today,

and they got threatened.

- I bet there's more
to that story.
- You know what?

They don't think
I fit in there,

but I have one word
for them-- Not!

Oh, hey, could you--
Could you take a photo of me

in front of this?
Um...

I'm trying to beef up
my Instagram account.

Oh, yeah,
yours is real weird.

It's like a mom created a fake
account to spy on her kid.

Ready?

[ music playing ]

What--

Is this cute?

Well-- No. Mm-mm. No.

Is this a yoga pose?

Okay, I can see everything. So--

Gonna look surprised.

[ gasps ]
I'll give you variation.

Keep your mouth closed, please.

Okay, I'm wanna do
a walking one.

Take it. Take it.

Take it.

Okay.

Are you getting the street art?

It's not street art.
It's graffiti.

You're standing in front
of a giant vagina,

and next to it's written
"I murder."

Oh.

Well, do you think if I just do,
like, one of those cute, like,

jumping shots, that anyone will
notice the vagina?

Yes, everyone.

It looks like
you're jumping

inside the vagina next
to the "I murder."

Like you wanna murder vaginas
by jumping into them.

Well, I guess you just don't
understand my brand then.

- She doesn't have a brand.
- I don't have a brand.

Dude, I have 10,000 followers
on Instagram.

I'll help you make
a better account.

I know the one pic
that gets way more attention

on Instagram
than anything else.

Butthole shots.

- What?
- What?

- No.
- No.

I can't-- Here.

Follow me.
This'll be great.

[ music playing ]

Okay, remember,
we're not looking
for a few sympathy likes.

We want a million
followers

tracking your miraculous
recovery journey.

Okay, look hurt, GF.

Okay, but also a little bit
turned on.

No, too happy.

Think sexy like--
like a dead corpse on "SVU."

Think sexy.

Okay. David.

David crying in a bath.

David smelling a flower that
reminds him of his dead wife.

- Oh, perfect!
- Ugh! Okay,
that's too turned on.

This isn't working!

Hey!

Maybe we can get some ketchup
packets from this restaurant

and cover you
in fake blood.

Kat.

That's what I want my Instagram
account to look like.

I'm just a very chill girl
with beautiful friends

and I brunch.

It's exactly
what Tiff would post.

Then let's go hang out
with them.

Kat-- Wait.

Kat.

Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.

We can't fit in
with them.

I can fit in with anyone.

I fit in with artists.
I fit in with models.

I fit in with royals.

- I fit in with Beyoncé.
- That's not true.

I fit in with all
the cool people. Always.

Girls like them don't hang out
with girls like us, okay?

They drink mimosas all day,
they go to Coachella willingly.

I'm exactly like them.

Oh, you're nothing like them.

God, we've lived together
a month now and you still
don't get me.

I knew everything about you
within like a week.

That's because you read
my dream journal.

And you know what else
you don't know about me?

I've got a three step
foolproof plan

to attack any group of girls
and become their friends.

I don't think attack
is the right word.

There's no word
for making friends.

- Befriend?
- Yes.

We will be friends with them
after I attack them.

Geez, keep up.

Step one, identify and mentally
attack the alpha of the group.

You!

Can I help you?

Kat. We went to college
together.

What was your--
Your name was?

Wait, what-- what was it?

Candace. And I didn't go
to college.

- High school.
- I don't think so.

Pole vaulting?
Water polo?

You sure it wasn't
pole vaulting?

I pole vaulted.

What about fencing?

- Soccer?
- This is terrible.

I should tell a joke.

I don't know a joke!

- Note to June-- Learn a joke!
- Camp?

- No.
- Synchronized swimming?

Tap dancing?

It may have been tap class.

I knew it.
Good guess, me.

Step two,
physically attack the alpha

so she submits
to your strength.

- It is so good
to see you, Candy!
- Oh!

I am so uncomfortable.

And holding all
of my underwear.

This was a very bad idea!

And the final step,
attack her emotions.

Remember, I was the girl

who put tin foil
on the bottom
of her Converse

because I couldn't
afford tap shoes.

This is your chance, June.

Say something!
Attack them! Attack!

Hello, now.

[ clears throat ]

Sorry. Um...

Kat and I saw you
from across the street.

You look so beautiful
and looked like you were
having so much fun.

We just wished

that we could have friends
like you for one day.

We know what girls like you
do and we wanna do it, too.

Wow! That is so ballsy.

Do you guys wanna
sit down?

I mean, our group could always
use some new faces.

- Shit, yeah.
- Okay.

So, what are we drinking,
ladies? Mimosas?

June,
this is how we brunch.

- Yeah, they're bottomless.
- Sweet.

So am I.

[ all laugh ]

Oh, my gosh!

I'm doing it.

I need to freeze this moment
in amber.

- Wanna take a pic?
- Sure.

I'm getting a brunch pic!

- I got June a brunch pic.
- Oh, um, actually,
give it to Astrid.

Her arms are like crazy long.

It's a genetic thing.

Oh, fun.

Say cheers-ies.

All:
Cheers-ies.

[ music playing ]

Wow!

- Wow!
- Ooh!

You look great!

Yes. I know.

- [ all laugh ]
- So would you guys say
that I'm someone

that fits in with your group?

Yeah. Totally.

Cool. Hey, June,
come on out.

Me and my friends promise not
to make fun of your weird hips.

I don't know.

Uh, this dress
doesn't really fit.

Let us see.

- [ all gasp ]
- Yeah!

You look amazing!
You have to get it.

Uh, but it's not really me.

Of course it is.
You look like an innocent baby

who gives a mean blowjob.

- She does.
- Men go wild for that look.

- They do.
- I'm not sure.

[ phone chimes ]

No way.

Tiff just liked my brunch pic.

I'm a new me.

I'm buying it!

- Yeah!
- Yay!

Hey, um, I'm having a little
get-together at my house later.

Would you two wanna come?

An all-day hang
that goes into the night?

Who are you guys? My fun cousins
who only visited me once?

- [ all laugh ]
- Sign us up.

Yeah! Look at me, a hundred
percent fitting in with you.

Yeah, I already said yeah.

- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.

Both:
Yeah.

- Yes!
- Yup.

This place is Instagram
Shangri-La.

First I'll take a pic of me
laying on the fainting couch,

then I'll take one over there

laughing while I drink
champagne.

Oh, those fake flowers look
so real.

Oh, my God,
this staircase in Sepia!

Wait! I need to pace myself.

These are my friends now.

This is my life now.

So, I spoke to a few
of the gentlemen

that'll be joining us tonight.

They sound handsome
and not violent.

Finally.

[ gasps ]

Maybe I can go on a hike
with one of them

and post a sunset
boyfriend pic.

[ gasps ]
I gotta get ready!

Where's your restroom?

That way.

Oh, stop showing off, Astrid.

- Follow me.
- Okay.

Hey, Candace,
these guys you invited,

are they, like, super hot?
Like, bang worthy?

Or, like, kinda ugly
a little bit but, like,
still, you know, doable?

Oh, no, I haven't met them yet.
No. They're referrals.

- Oh.
- Now if you'll excuse me,

I need to go
polish the dildos.

Polish the dildos?

Is that a saying?
Hmm.

Oh, uh,
I'll be really quick.

Oh, I'll just go in
with you.

Don't panic.
This is what girlfriends do.

They go to the bathroom
together.

Great.

Can you turn around
for a second?

Oh, is it number two?

No.

It's okay, honey.

It smells like cherries
and hairspray.

Why is everything in here pink
and fuzzy and lubey?

And-- Oh, my God!

These aren't regular hot girls.

These are prostitute hot girls!

Okay, just act like you see
this all the time.

Gotta freshen up the old cooch.

Yeah, you don't have to tell me
about freshening up the cooch.

You want some?

24/7.

- [ sprays ]
- [ screams ]

It burns!
Air it out.

Air it out!

Feels good, right?

It feels wonderful.

Fire! Ow!

We're about to be hookers.

I need to tell June.

Oh! Candace.

- You look different.
- I put on lipstick.

Hooker lipstick for a hooker
because you're a hooker.

- Where's your bathroom?
- Oh, it's that way.

- Cool.
- Oh, hey, um, when you get back

I'd love to just pick your brain
about being an actor.

I'm thinking
of getting into it,

but I've heard
it's brutal.

I can tell June later.

Oh, it is more than brutal.

The theater community is
very cruel and exclusive

and doesn't think 9/11 matters.

So what's your quote?

Waste not, want not.

What's yours?

5,000, give or take.

Depends on the night.

Good one.

Wanna take a bathroom selfie?

Sure.

Say cheers-ies.

Cheers-ies.

And navigating the different
egos really distracts
from the art itself.

Oh, wow!

I mean, I'm more interested
in, like, the on camera stuff,

but that sounds hard also.

You're right.
It is like a vagina mint.

Right?

- Shit! I forgot to tell June.
- [ doorbell rings ]

They're here!

Oh, I forgot to mention.

Senator John will be choosing
one lucky lady

to fly to Cabo
on his private jet.

If Senator John picks me,

I'll get the holy grail
of Instagram pics.

Me on a private jet!

June.

- Huh?
- I've gotta tell you something.

No, I have to tell you
something.

- Thank you so much.
- Mm-hmm.

I'm so sorry I thought you
wouldn't fit in
with those girls.

No, you were right.
I don't fit in with them.

Do not sell yourself short.

These are totally your type
of people.

I think we should go.

You took enough pictures
and we're both really tired.

What?

This party is just
getting started.

Plus, what if Senator John
picks me?

I'll be like a Kardashian
on a private jet.

WheelsUpBitches.

Sometimes,
even if it's hard,

you have to break
your friend's heart.

June, do you honestly think

that Senator John would pick you
over me? Look at me.

I'm like a ten
and you're like a chair.

What?

Senator John would
totally pick me.

Look how fun my hair is.

These women are hookers!

They are hooker women
and they think we are, too.

What?

I always thought that one day
I would sell my body,

but not like this.

Wait, then like what?

You guys don't [ bleep ]
for money?

[ gasps ]
No.

Do you?

- Yeah.
- Yes!

We literally talked
about it all day.

I think this was
a misunderstanding.

- Yeah.
- You came up to us

and said, "We know what you do
and we wanna do it, too."

- Mm.
- And then we went to the clinic

and got our STDs checked.

- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- And then you said,

"I can't wait to get inside
that penis all night long."

- Mm-hmm. Yeah. We--
- We see your point.

- Yeah, that was bad.
- Yeah.

[ gasps ]
I was high on the likes.

Look, we've gotta go,
but it's not because we think
we're above your profession.

No, you are brave.

And what you do is so important,

and sexuality is your body,
your choice.

And you want to do this,
so it's cool.

Well, want is a strong word.

There's nothing
you'd rather be doing.

You know what? That thing about
the women's march is that--

I think you guys
should go now.

- Both: Okay.
- Yup, that's fair.

Excuse me.

My shoes.

[ mumbling ]

Just gonna take two
for the road.

You know what tonight
taught me?

To pay closer attention
to context clues?

No.

That if some
expensive-looking,

artisan prostitutes
think I'm the shit

and totally wanna hang out with
me, then I don't need validation

from some 9/11 denying
wannabe theater losers.

What an interesting,
nonsense conclusion.

That... makes sense.

I can't believe how close
we were to becoming prostitutes.

All because of this.

Oh, June,
as your Instagram mentor,

I'd advise you not to post
any more photos tonight.

- You look like a slutty
strawberry.
- I'm not.

I'm deleting my Instagram
account.

I flew too close to the sun.

You're deleting it?

It's too much stress.

Plus, like, seeing
everyone else's fake lives

just wastes too much time,

and when you waste not,
you want not.

[ bleep ] our laundry!

Oh, shit.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

[ sniffing ]

I hope no one saw those
late night party pics.

Oh, them pics, June.

[ sighs ]
I thought I deleted them.

Ah, you did, but not
before I screen shotted them.

You did?

No! I would never do that.

I'm on the anti revenge porn
advisory board.

- Really?
- Yeah.

A former lover went wide
on my private collection.

Let's just say
that you can't
erase the internet,

now can you?

Are you daring me
to Google you?

No.

Damn it, Bobby!

Every job!

Oh, hey.

Looks like you had
a fun weekend.

[ whispers ]
Thank you, hooker women.

Oh, wait, they're not dead.

I hope.

June:
Wow! She really does have
10,000 followers.

There's a nice picture
of her boobs.

Oh, her boobs again.
And a dead bird.

And another dead bird,
oh, God, it's just pictures
of boobs and dead birds.

And the next one
is boobs again.

Okay.
Uh, boobs, wow, surprising.

Birds or boobs?
Boobs.

Um, boobs.
Oh, it's birds this time.

Okay.

And another bird.

[ sighs ]
Oh, God.