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1
00:00:04,413 --> 00:00:07,553
[ music playing ]
2
00:00:07,551 --> 00:00:09,591
Look at this crap.
3
00:00:09,586 --> 00:00:11,446
Corn syrup and chemicals.
4
00:00:11,448 --> 00:00:13,098
America's disgusting.
5
00:00:13,103 --> 00:00:15,693
Big Soybean is killing kids
in Iraq and we're all,
6
00:00:15,689 --> 00:00:19,479
"Who cares as long as I get my yellow dye number four flavor."
7
00:00:19,482 --> 00:00:21,072
When are we gonna wake up?
8
00:00:21,068 --> 00:00:23,828
Oh! They have hamburger flavor!
9
00:00:23,827 --> 00:00:26,207
Delicious!
10
00:00:26,206 --> 00:00:28,896
Will my skin benefit from this?
11
00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:30,996
I can never remember.
12
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:34,660
I think if I put yogurt on top
of my skin it's good,
13
00:00:34,655 --> 00:00:36,825
but if I eat it, it's bad?
14
00:00:36,827 --> 00:00:39,237
Like it increases testosterone.
15
00:00:39,241 --> 00:00:41,721
But I do look really cute
eating yogurt
16
00:00:41,724 --> 00:00:44,934
or I feel cute.
17
00:00:50,379 --> 00:00:52,969
Excuse me, did you just eat
a piece of dirt?
18
00:00:52,965 --> 00:00:56,135
- No.
- Ew! That could've
been anything.
19
00:00:56,137 --> 00:00:58,617
- I didn't.
- Yeah, you did.
20
00:00:58,620 --> 00:01:01,410
I saw you eye a kernel of filth
and then choose to eat it.
21
00:01:01,413 --> 00:01:03,793
It was a raisin.
I left it there a week ago.
22
00:01:03,793 --> 00:01:06,003
It's fine. It's mine.
23
00:01:08,034 --> 00:01:10,214
- Oh, we're together.
- Oh.
24
00:01:10,206 --> 00:01:11,926
Sorry, I didn't realize
you guys were friends.
25
00:01:11,931 --> 00:01:14,211
- We're not friends.
- We're roommates.
26
00:01:14,206 --> 00:01:16,206
- Uncomfortable.
- Horribly awkward.
27
00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:19,306
- Complete opposite.
- Roommates.
28
00:01:19,310 --> 00:01:21,900
Both:
What's wrong with his eye.
29
00:01:24,724 --> 00:01:26,934
[ music playing ]
30
00:01:28,344 --> 00:01:31,144
Mmm. So good.
31
00:01:31,137 --> 00:01:33,137
Oh, my God,
a kernel is lodged in my gum!
32
00:01:33,137 --> 00:01:35,377
I'd rather be dead than this.
33
00:01:35,379 --> 00:01:36,929
Oh, got it.
34
00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:39,001
Mmm. Salty sweet.
35
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,310
Oh, God, she's here!
36
00:01:40,310 --> 00:01:41,520
Gotta go.
37
00:01:41,517 --> 00:01:43,787
Oh, why she home so early?
38
00:01:45,758 --> 00:01:48,898
- Oh, hi.
- Hello.
39
00:01:48,896 --> 00:01:52,516
Why does she always meet me right at the door and out of breath?
40
00:01:52,517 --> 00:01:55,407
I-- I brought you popcorn.
41
00:01:55,413 --> 00:01:57,103
Okay.
42
00:01:57,103 --> 00:02:00,483
Ugh! Getting used to a new
roommate is the worst.
43
00:02:00,482 --> 00:02:02,522
So, how was your day?
44
00:02:02,517 --> 00:02:04,517
Fine
45
00:02:04,517 --> 00:02:06,717
How was your day?
46
00:02:06,724 --> 00:02:08,244
Fine.
47
00:02:08,241 --> 00:02:09,791
I have social anxiety at work
48
00:02:09,793 --> 00:02:12,033
and now I have it at home.
Great.
49
00:02:12,034 --> 00:02:14,214
Why isn't she walking away?
50
00:02:14,206 --> 00:02:16,306
Is this the appropriate time
to walk away?
51
00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:19,480
Both:
I'm gonna go watch some TV.
52
00:02:19,482 --> 00:02:21,382
Both:
Damn it.
53
00:02:21,379 --> 00:02:22,719
Both:
Great.
54
00:02:22,724 --> 00:02:24,414
[ indistinct TV chatter ]
55
00:02:24,413 --> 00:02:27,453
What if I choose something too lame or something too edgy?
56
00:02:27,448 --> 00:02:29,208
Will it seem like I'm trying to be edgy?
57
00:02:29,206 --> 00:02:31,966
Just shut up
and take the plunge, June!
58
00:02:31,965 --> 00:02:34,965
Woman:
How dare you double-cross me,
Agent Rick?
59
00:02:34,965 --> 00:02:38,615
Now you have to have sex
with me... next to this bomb.
60
00:02:38,620 --> 00:02:40,000
Uh, chose a porn.
61
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,000
All right, play it off.
62
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,720
These movies are so funny.
63
00:02:43,724 --> 00:02:45,724
Oh, dialogue, I mean.
64
00:02:45,724 --> 00:02:47,594
- Woman: Yeah.
- Oh, man.
65
00:02:47,586 --> 00:02:48,926
What is happening?
66
00:02:48,931 --> 00:02:50,591
Are we casually
watching a porn?
67
00:02:50,586 --> 00:02:51,786
That's it.
68
00:02:51,793 --> 00:02:53,523
Okay, I can't do this.
69
00:02:53,517 --> 00:02:54,897
Good.
I don't like porn either.
70
00:02:54,896 --> 00:02:57,686
No, I mean the awkwardness.
Porn's great.
71
00:02:57,689 --> 00:02:59,139
Oh, yeah,
it's my favorite show.
72
00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:00,857
Okay, if we're gonna
live together,
73
00:03:00,862 --> 00:03:02,552
I wanna, like,
get to know each other.
74
00:03:02,551 --> 00:03:05,411
But when people get to know me they don't seem to like me.
75
00:03:05,413 --> 00:03:06,623
Yeah, that sounds great!
76
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:08,970
Cool.
I know just the thing.
77
00:03:08,965 --> 00:03:12,135
What does friendship
mean to you?
78
00:03:12,137 --> 00:03:14,307
Boundaries,
very strong boundaries.
79
00:03:14,310 --> 00:03:15,520
Openness.
80
00:03:19,137 --> 00:03:20,997
What does friendship
mean to you?
81
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,210
Pooping in front of each other.
82
00:03:22,206 --> 00:03:23,546
Pooping in front of each other.
83
00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:25,591
Oh.
84
00:03:25,586 --> 00:03:27,066
Where did you get this
again?
85
00:03:27,068 --> 00:03:29,518
Oh, it's a questionnaire
written by scientists
86
00:03:29,517 --> 00:03:32,657
that you can do with a stranger
that makes you fall in love.
87
00:03:32,655 --> 00:03:34,715
'cause of science.
88
00:03:34,724 --> 00:03:37,624
Wait, are we, um,
trying to fall in love?
89
00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:39,690
It'll probably work
for roommates, God!
90
00:03:39,689 --> 00:03:43,519
Okay, do you have a secret hunch
about the way you will die?
91
00:03:43,517 --> 00:03:46,517
A pale, bug-eyed man
strangles me in the shower.
92
00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:49,617
The police come too late,
but strangle me as well.
93
00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:53,170
Um, you know, just like regular
old-aged death stuff. You?
94
00:03:53,172 --> 00:03:56,832
Well, I've always felt
that I would never die.
95
00:03:56,827 --> 00:03:58,787
Like a toddler
or a cult leader.
96
00:03:58,793 --> 00:04:02,523
Hmm. All right, well,
I feel like I've really
gotten to know you.
97
00:04:02,517 --> 00:04:04,407
So, time for bed.
98
00:04:04,413 --> 00:04:07,103
Wait, but I haven't fallen
in love with you yet.
99
00:04:07,103 --> 00:04:09,933
We gotta fast-track
this friendship, okay?
100
00:04:09,931 --> 00:04:11,101
[ whispers ]
Okay.
101
00:04:11,103 --> 00:04:13,453
I got it.
We'll throw a party.
102
00:04:13,448 --> 00:04:14,788
Parties are my hell.
103
00:04:14,793 --> 00:04:16,143
I love party.
104
00:04:16,137 --> 00:04:18,337
I'll invite my theater friends,
Molly and Tessa,
105
00:04:18,344 --> 00:04:21,214
and you'll invite
your regular people friends
like, well...
106
00:04:21,206 --> 00:04:22,856
Do I have to name people now?
107
00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:25,412
- Like...
- This feels like a trap.
108
00:04:25,413 --> 00:04:26,623
- Trap.
- What?
109
00:04:26,620 --> 00:04:28,410
Von Trap, last name.
110
00:04:28,413 --> 00:04:29,593
Beautiful singing voice.
111
00:04:29,586 --> 00:04:31,686
I'll invite many people.
112
00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:33,139
If she really knew me,
113
00:04:33,137 --> 00:04:35,337
she'd find out
that I have zero friends.
114
00:04:35,344 --> 00:04:36,904
That can't happen.
115
00:04:36,896 --> 00:04:39,026
Now I gotta invite people
so I seem normal.
116
00:04:39,034 --> 00:04:41,974
I never did cross off
"Make Friend" on my checklist.
117
00:04:41,965 --> 00:04:44,095
This is going
to change everything.
118
00:04:44,103 --> 00:04:45,903
She will never bond with me.
119
00:04:45,896 --> 00:04:48,786
I'm gonna bond
all over her.
120
00:04:48,793 --> 00:04:51,413
Man:
Medicate, regulate, dominate.
121
00:04:51,413 --> 00:04:54,933
Gyrphknod Pharmaceuticals.
Mmm-mmm-pills.
122
00:04:54,931 --> 00:04:57,721
Isn't this new marketing video
so trill?
123
00:04:57,724 --> 00:04:59,834
- It's so trill.
- Trillest.
124
00:04:59,827 --> 00:05:02,207
It shows that Gyrphknod
is not like other
pharmaceutical companies.
125
00:05:02,206 --> 00:05:05,826
Martin Shkreli gave us
a bad rep.
126
00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:07,827
I met him once
and he said I was pretty.
127
00:05:07,827 --> 00:05:10,827
Beautiful, perfect Tiff.
128
00:05:10,827 --> 00:05:13,167
What a video.
129
00:05:13,172 --> 00:05:14,762
I'd die to have her
at my party.
130
00:05:14,758 --> 00:05:15,968
I'm so glad
you like the video.
131
00:05:15,965 --> 00:05:17,235
Of course I love the video.
132
00:05:17,241 --> 00:05:19,141
I showed it to my boyfriend
Steve last night
133
00:05:19,137 --> 00:05:22,687
and he didn't tear up
because his father
emotionally policed him
134
00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:24,169
from a young age.
It's a whole thing.
135
00:05:24,172 --> 00:05:27,902
But he said that he wanted
to tear up, and that's awesome.
136
00:05:27,896 --> 00:05:29,206
That is so Steve.
137
00:05:29,206 --> 00:05:32,066
I also know
that is so Steve.
138
00:05:32,068 --> 00:05:35,028
June, stand up
and invite Tiff
to your party.
139
00:05:35,034 --> 00:05:36,664
You're an adult
with a job,
140
00:05:36,655 --> 00:05:38,615
and you don't have
a pet rat anymore.
141
00:05:38,620 --> 00:05:40,830
Here you go!
142
00:05:40,827 --> 00:05:44,167
- A little overwhelming.
- Hello, party! I'm coming!
143
00:05:44,172 --> 00:05:48,002
- [ nervous chuckle ]
- Oh. Hi, June.
144
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:56,343
I gather you're
throwing a party.
145
00:05:56,344 --> 00:05:58,074
I'll totally come.
146
00:05:58,068 --> 00:06:01,068
Hey, wouldn't it be funny
if I brought my office mug?
147
00:06:01,068 --> 00:06:03,858
And drank out of that
but at a party?
148
00:06:03,862 --> 00:06:06,722
You'd see me
and you'd be like,
149
00:06:06,724 --> 00:06:08,724
"Wait a minute.
150
00:06:08,724 --> 00:06:11,624
Am I at work?"
151
00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:13,480
[ laughs ]
152
00:06:13,482 --> 00:06:15,342
Uh-huh.
153
00:06:15,344 --> 00:06:17,484
Baby steps.
154
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:22,762
Take your time.
You'll find it.
155
00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:24,518
What was my mantra again?
156
00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:29,307
I'm so lucky to have such cool, artsy, big-titted friends.
157
00:06:29,310 --> 00:06:32,310
What if June has sex
with the one I had sex with?
158
00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:36,280
Then we can talk about his big balls until the cows come home.
159
00:06:36,275 --> 00:06:37,475
Here we go.
160
00:06:37,482 --> 00:06:39,692
This is gonna be classic Kat.
161
00:06:39,689 --> 00:06:41,549
"We shall never escape.
162
00:06:41,551 --> 00:06:43,281
There is no exit.
163
00:06:43,275 --> 00:06:44,615
Or we could,
yes, exit
164
00:06:44,620 --> 00:06:48,280
to Kat Souza's super, cool party
where everyone will have fun
165
00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:49,585
and probably kiss."
166
00:06:49,586 --> 00:06:50,786
Wait, did somebody change
the scripts?
167
00:06:50,793 --> 00:06:52,103
I did! It was me!
168
00:06:52,103 --> 00:06:55,173
Oh, gosh. Sorry to interrupt
rehearsal, Barry,
169
00:06:55,172 --> 00:07:00,102
but I wanted to invite you guys
to a classic Kat rager
on Friday night!
170
00:07:00,103 --> 00:07:02,383
- [ cheering ]
- Wait, Kat.
171
00:07:02,379 --> 00:07:06,139
Did you reprint all 30 script
for this one joke?
172
00:07:06,137 --> 00:07:08,857
Wow. That's more effort
than you've put
into the whole play.
173
00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:10,972
[ sighs ]
Thank you.
174
00:07:10,965 --> 00:07:13,335
- So you guys gonna come?
- Yeah, yeah, we'll be there.
175
00:07:13,344 --> 00:07:15,174
Angelica?
176
00:07:15,172 --> 00:07:16,902
Will there be like
a fun specialty drink?
177
00:07:16,896 --> 00:07:19,376
Does the Bachelorette need
vaginal rest
178
00:07:19,379 --> 00:07:21,309
between fantasy suite nights?
179
00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:23,030
Uh, yeah. So.
180
00:07:23,034 --> 00:07:26,214
That show is perpetuating
archaic gender norms.
181
00:07:26,206 --> 00:07:28,856
You are.
182
00:07:28,862 --> 00:07:31,382
That's you.
Classic Barry.
183
00:07:31,379 --> 00:07:32,899
See ya there!
184
00:07:34,068 --> 00:07:36,518
Shouldn't we buy some chips
or something?
185
00:07:36,517 --> 00:07:38,097
No.
186
00:07:38,103 --> 00:07:39,693
People don't like snacks
at parties.
187
00:07:39,689 --> 00:07:40,929
It makes them feel
like children.
188
00:07:40,931 --> 00:07:42,791
They like cigs and boobs,
189
00:07:42,793 --> 00:07:45,483
and like maybe
tabloid gossip.
190
00:07:45,482 --> 00:07:47,762
We can use these
as conversation starter
decorations.
191
00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:50,518
I think that might be
sort of a downer.
192
00:07:50,517 --> 00:07:52,307
Good call.
193
00:07:52,310 --> 00:07:54,690
We don't want our men sad.
We want 'em rock hard.
194
00:07:54,689 --> 00:07:57,519
Oh, God.
195
00:07:57,517 --> 00:07:59,757
David Landlord.
196
00:07:59,758 --> 00:08:01,898
Oh, he's in my phone
as that, too.
197
00:08:01,896 --> 00:08:03,686
- He's so pretty.
- And handy.
198
00:08:03,689 --> 00:08:05,309
And a widower,
which is...
199
00:08:05,310 --> 00:08:07,030
- ...hot.
- Sexy.
200
00:08:07,034 --> 00:08:08,664
- Just horrible.
- Sad, really sad.
201
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:12,375
June so has the hots for our sad landlord.
202
00:08:12,379 --> 00:08:14,239
I'll help her out.
203
00:08:14,241 --> 00:08:16,281
David Landlord.
204
00:08:16,275 --> 00:08:17,785
Oh. Hi, girls.
205
00:08:17,793 --> 00:08:21,143
June Gloom and I are throwing
a raging party tonight.
206
00:08:21,137 --> 00:08:22,787
How raging?
207
00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:24,693
A quite respectful
level of rage.
208
00:08:24,689 --> 00:08:26,479
But also like
really loud raging.
209
00:08:26,482 --> 00:08:28,902
- We're wondering
if you wanna come.
- No, no, no.
210
00:08:28,896 --> 00:08:30,656
They'll be booze
and no snacks.
211
00:08:30,655 --> 00:08:33,515
Uh... possibly.
212
00:08:33,517 --> 00:08:36,307
- I haven't been
to a party since--
- You don't have to say.
213
00:08:36,310 --> 00:08:38,480
No, I do.
Since Judy died.
214
00:08:38,482 --> 00:08:42,142
Oh, there's nothing sexier
than a man working
through things.
215
00:08:42,137 --> 00:08:44,617
- Well, we'll see you there.
- Okay.
216
00:08:44,620 --> 00:08:46,690
- Maybe.
- All right.
217
00:08:46,689 --> 00:08:49,209
Well, we'll definitely
see you there, then.
218
00:08:49,206 --> 00:08:52,376
- Still a maybe.
- Hey, hope you like limbo!
219
00:08:54,689 --> 00:08:57,239
June is so happy
David's coming.
220
00:08:57,241 --> 00:09:00,071
David's coming?
I can't take that!
221
00:09:00,068 --> 00:09:01,928
I'd rather the bug-eyed
strangler.
222
00:09:01,931 --> 00:09:04,481
Hey, how many people
you got coming?
223
00:09:04,482 --> 00:09:06,382
I'm looking at 30 to 80.
224
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,239
- What about you?
- One.
225
00:09:08,241 --> 00:09:11,031
And a half,
because technically
we both invited David.
226
00:09:11,034 --> 00:09:12,864
Wait, you only have
one friend?
227
00:09:12,862 --> 00:09:14,762
What are you,
some weirdo
with a pet rat?
228
00:09:14,758 --> 00:09:17,138
Oh, my God!
She's sniffing me out.
229
00:09:17,137 --> 00:09:18,717
[ nervous laugh ]
230
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:20,244
Yeah, right.
231
00:09:20,241 --> 00:09:22,241
Oh, rats are gross.
232
00:09:22,241 --> 00:09:24,381
And so soft and so gross.
233
00:09:24,379 --> 00:09:26,209
No, I have many
friends coming.
234
00:09:26,206 --> 00:09:29,336
- They're just
not confirmed yet.
- Okay, I was gonna say--
235
00:09:29,344 --> 00:09:31,524
Where am I gonna find people
to pretend to be my friends?
236
00:09:31,517 --> 00:09:33,517
Oh, my God.
237
00:09:33,517 --> 00:09:35,657
Did you know
that they're shooting
238
00:09:35,655 --> 00:09:37,515
a "Monk" revival
in town?
239
00:09:37,517 --> 00:09:39,137
That's it!
Extras.
240
00:09:39,137 --> 00:09:40,687
I suddenly have to go.
Good-bye.
241
00:09:40,689 --> 00:09:42,929
What? June.
242
00:09:42,931 --> 00:09:44,931
You're not gonna get anywhere
near Shalhoub.
243
00:09:44,931 --> 00:09:46,971
- Hey, guy--
- Sorry, lady.
244
00:09:46,965 --> 00:09:48,655
You're not gonna get anywhere
near Shalhoub.
245
00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:51,135
No, uh, I was wondering,
246
00:09:51,137 --> 00:09:55,237
um, how would you like to make
the same amount of money
247
00:09:55,241 --> 00:09:59,621
sitting and pretending
but with alcohol?
248
00:09:59,620 --> 00:10:01,760
- Ooh!
- How much alcohol?
249
00:10:01,758 --> 00:10:03,928
- So much.
- I'm on the wagon.
250
00:10:03,931 --> 00:10:05,281
So little.
251
00:10:05,275 --> 00:10:06,615
What about cake?
252
00:10:06,620 --> 00:10:07,930
Extras love cake.
253
00:10:07,931 --> 00:10:10,071
Whatever you want,
just come.
254
00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:12,548
I mean, if everyone else
is gonna go.
255
00:10:12,551 --> 00:10:14,411
- Cody, wanna go?
- Sure.
256
00:10:14,413 --> 00:10:15,623
Cody's in.
257
00:10:15,620 --> 00:10:17,340
- Okay.
- Okay.
258
00:10:17,344 --> 00:10:19,764
[ cheering ]
259
00:10:22,620 --> 00:10:25,620
What does a normal person
wear to a party?
260
00:10:25,620 --> 00:10:27,590
A bold lip
and a kitten heel?
261
00:10:27,586 --> 00:10:29,166
What is a kitten heel?
262
00:10:29,172 --> 00:10:31,072
Whoa! You're not wearing that,
are you?
263
00:10:31,068 --> 00:10:32,788
Jesus, how long
have you been here?
264
00:10:32,793 --> 00:10:34,693
Chill, I'm getting markers,
baby!
265
00:10:34,689 --> 00:10:36,759
How do you know
where my markers are?
266
00:10:36,758 --> 00:10:39,378
Oh, well, I sit in here
while you're at work.
267
00:10:39,379 --> 00:10:40,659
Just to think.
268
00:10:40,655 --> 00:10:42,275
And fart.
269
00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:44,895
I knew I'd seen little Cheeto
handprints on my wall!
270
00:10:44,896 --> 00:10:48,136
Hey. If you wanna look good
for someone, I don't know who,
271
00:10:48,137 --> 00:10:49,997
I can help.
272
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,480
A-do this!
273
00:10:51,482 --> 00:10:53,412
What are you--
What are you pointing at?
274
00:10:53,413 --> 00:10:55,143
The towel you're wearing!
275
00:10:55,137 --> 00:10:56,517
It's spicy.
276
00:10:56,517 --> 00:10:58,167
Hot tamale,
I'm sweatin'.
277
00:10:58,172 --> 00:10:59,552
Maybe belt it?
278
00:10:59,551 --> 00:11:01,171
Okay, no.
I'm-- I'm not doing--
279
00:11:01,172 --> 00:11:03,142
I want to look like
a sophisticated lady.
280
00:11:03,137 --> 00:11:05,857
- Not a shower lady pers--
- Shush, shush, shush.
281
00:11:05,862 --> 00:11:09,722
If someone, possibly David,
comes in here.
282
00:11:09,724 --> 00:11:12,864
He's totally gonna
be like, "Aoooga."
283
00:11:12,862 --> 00:11:15,032
David would never "aoooga."
284
00:11:15,034 --> 00:11:17,034
He's a dad,
not a horny cartoon.
285
00:11:17,034 --> 00:11:19,484
Oh, he's gonna "aoooga,"
all right.
286
00:11:19,482 --> 00:11:21,762
- [ thudding ]
- Oh, the twins are here!
287
00:11:21,758 --> 00:11:23,928
- I'm scared of the twins.
- Don't be.
288
00:11:23,931 --> 00:11:25,481
[ whispering ]
They sense fear.
289
00:11:25,482 --> 00:11:27,032
- No, I got it.
- Hey.
290
00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:28,834
- Hey, friends!
- Sorry we're late.
291
00:11:28,827 --> 00:11:31,137
- Tessa has ringworm.
- [ June gasps ]
292
00:11:31,137 --> 00:11:32,337
Oh, my God!
293
00:11:32,344 --> 00:11:33,694
Aw. Gross.
294
00:11:33,689 --> 00:11:35,209
I'm scared
I'm gonna catch it.
295
00:11:35,206 --> 00:11:36,856
You can't catch ringworm!
296
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:38,762
It's extremely contagious.
297
00:11:38,758 --> 00:11:41,408
So pumped for your party.
298
00:11:41,413 --> 00:11:43,833
- I've been itchin' to rage!
- Yeah.
299
00:11:43,827 --> 00:11:45,857
So bummed we have to leave
early for night court.
300
00:11:45,862 --> 00:11:47,902
Yeah. Sucks.
301
00:11:47,896 --> 00:11:49,966
Guys, leave June alone
so she can pick out shoes
302
00:11:49,965 --> 00:11:52,785
- to wear with her towel.
- I'm not gonna wear--
303
00:11:52,793 --> 00:11:54,693
And then we gotta work
on transforming my room
304
00:11:54,689 --> 00:11:57,279
to the infamous
"Chill Room."
305
00:11:58,344 --> 00:12:00,074
- Yeah.
- Yeah, chill.
306
00:12:00,068 --> 00:12:03,448
[ chanting ]
Chill.
307
00:12:03,448 --> 00:12:05,238
Chill.
308
00:12:05,241 --> 00:12:06,931
Chill?
309
00:12:08,379 --> 00:12:10,449
♪ I got nothing to lose
310
00:12:10,448 --> 00:12:13,688
♪ But a poor excuse
311
00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:15,689
♪ I got my hands
in my pockets ♪
312
00:12:15,689 --> 00:12:17,999
♪ And, oh, my God, I'm gone.
313
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,520
And done.
314
00:12:19,517 --> 00:12:21,547
How's the Chill Swing?
315
00:12:21,551 --> 00:12:23,341
Fully operational!
316
00:12:23,344 --> 00:12:24,834
Nice!
317
00:12:25,862 --> 00:12:27,242
Wait!
318
00:12:31,034 --> 00:12:32,864
Oh, radical!
319
00:12:32,862 --> 00:12:35,032
Good touch, good touch!
320
00:12:37,241 --> 00:12:39,721
[ sing-songy ]
How do I look?
321
00:12:39,724 --> 00:12:42,694
June, is your one idea
of a sophisticated lady
322
00:12:42,689 --> 00:12:45,619
the one pretty girl
from "Guess Who"?
323
00:12:45,620 --> 00:12:47,690
- Damn it, it is.
- [ doorbell rings ]
324
00:12:47,689 --> 00:12:50,659
- Guests are here! Whoo!
- Whoo!
325
00:12:50,655 --> 00:12:52,655
- Whoo!
- Wee!
326
00:12:52,655 --> 00:12:55,715
Please let this go okay!
327
00:12:55,724 --> 00:12:58,004
[ music playing ]
328
00:12:59,827 --> 00:13:02,787
Oh, I thought she was joking
about that limbo thing.
329
00:13:02,793 --> 00:13:05,793
June, introduce me
to your friends.
330
00:13:05,793 --> 00:13:07,863
Which ones have
you slept with
331
00:13:07,862 --> 00:13:10,522
and are any of them available
for me to sleep with, too?
332
00:13:10,517 --> 00:13:12,517
Oh, no.
Oh, okay.
333
00:13:12,517 --> 00:13:15,547
Good. Um, uh,
but this is Larry,
334
00:13:15,551 --> 00:13:17,481
and his son, Cody.
335
00:13:17,482 --> 00:13:19,032
- Larry is--
- An extra. Hi.
336
00:13:19,034 --> 00:13:21,244
What is he doing?
He's blowing it!
337
00:13:21,241 --> 00:13:24,171
Extra special to me!
338
00:13:24,172 --> 00:13:26,212
Larry is
my favorite neighbor
339
00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:29,406
from my last apartment
on Main Street Avenue.
340
00:13:29,413 --> 00:13:31,103
Yup. Mm-hmm.
341
00:13:31,103 --> 00:13:33,103
Sounds... fancy.
342
00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:34,863
It was fancy,
343
00:13:34,862 --> 00:13:36,902
but also mostly normal
and very average
344
00:13:36,896 --> 00:13:38,376
and completely socially
acceptable.
345
00:13:38,379 --> 00:13:40,279
Like me.
I never had a rat!
346
00:13:40,275 --> 00:13:42,165
And this is
my best friend, Eve,
347
00:13:42,172 --> 00:13:43,762
- from college.
- Hi.
348
00:13:43,758 --> 00:13:45,858
What fun times we had,
huh, Eve?
349
00:13:45,862 --> 00:13:47,412
Crazy fun.
350
00:13:47,413 --> 00:13:49,283
June and I,
we used to party hard.
351
00:13:49,275 --> 00:13:51,585
You know, drank with men,
drank with friends,
352
00:13:51,586 --> 00:13:53,716
drank alone.
Lied about drinking alone.
353
00:13:53,724 --> 00:13:55,974
To myself.
To my family.
To the judge.
354
00:13:55,965 --> 00:13:58,615
- I lost custody of my--
- Okay, and that's everyone.
355
00:13:58,620 --> 00:14:01,280
Hey, what about me?
I'm Bobby!
356
00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:03,135
- Hey.
- This is Bobby.
357
00:14:03,137 --> 00:14:05,337
From work!
Remember?
358
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:06,834
Well, it was nice
359
00:14:06,827 --> 00:14:08,787
- to meet all of you.
- Nice to meet you.
360
00:14:08,793 --> 00:14:10,833
- Kat: Yeah.
- It's working!
361
00:14:10,827 --> 00:14:12,787
I'm tricking her
into thinking I have friends
362
00:14:12,793 --> 00:14:14,413
like a regular person.
363
00:14:14,413 --> 00:14:16,413
Take that roommate
who's trying to get to know me!
364
00:14:16,413 --> 00:14:20,903
Well, my friends should be here
any minute now. So...
365
00:14:21,724 --> 00:14:23,724
Why aren't they here yet?
366
00:14:23,724 --> 00:14:25,904
[ music playing ]
367
00:14:29,793 --> 00:14:32,523
Okay, maybe parties
aren't so scary.
368
00:14:32,517 --> 00:14:34,517
I'm actually
almost comfortable.
369
00:14:34,517 --> 00:14:36,717
- Hello?
- Not comfortable!
370
00:14:36,724 --> 00:14:38,624
Bottom clenching in fear!
371
00:14:38,620 --> 00:14:40,070
- David! Too much.
- Hi.
372
00:14:40,068 --> 00:14:44,138
Uh, I brought you this
California cab.
373
00:14:44,137 --> 00:14:46,447
That's-- thank you.
374
00:14:46,448 --> 00:14:48,068
That's so nice.
375
00:14:48,068 --> 00:14:50,138
Um, do you-- do you want me
to pour you some?
376
00:14:50,137 --> 00:14:51,757
Uh... sure.
377
00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:53,338
Or you can have
a Kat Drink.
378
00:14:53,344 --> 00:14:54,624
No, thank you.
I'm good.
379
00:14:54,620 --> 00:14:55,930
I-- I don't love sugar.
380
00:14:55,931 --> 00:14:57,791
It's not sugar,
it's pop rocks.
381
00:14:57,793 --> 00:15:00,313
- Still a no.
- Save them for your friends.
382
00:15:00,310 --> 00:15:02,280
Is that a dig at me?
383
00:15:02,275 --> 00:15:06,165
I'm sorry my friends don't come
right on time at loser o'clock.
384
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:07,482
[ nervous laugh ]
385
00:15:07,482 --> 00:15:09,592
Okay.
386
00:15:09,586 --> 00:15:12,586
[ music playing ]
387
00:15:12,586 --> 00:15:14,586
[ both chanting ]
Night court!
388
00:15:14,586 --> 00:15:17,546
- Twins: Adios.
- [ mimics alarm ]
389
00:15:17,551 --> 00:15:20,311
Hey, we heard some chick
June's throwing a rager.
390
00:15:20,310 --> 00:15:22,550
It's a Kat rager, God!
391
00:15:22,551 --> 00:15:24,621
Ah, this is my ultimate
Frisbee team.
392
00:15:24,620 --> 00:15:26,140
We share a brotherly
kind of love.
393
00:15:26,137 --> 00:15:27,337
But also carnal.
394
00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:29,484
Lotta blurred lines.
395
00:15:29,482 --> 00:15:31,172
More June friends?
396
00:15:31,172 --> 00:15:33,212
This is not
how it was supposed to go.
397
00:15:33,206 --> 00:15:36,686
And look at her, rubbing all
her friendship in my face.
398
00:15:36,689 --> 00:15:38,899
[ music playing ]
399
00:15:40,413 --> 00:15:42,593
[ cheers ]
400
00:15:46,103 --> 00:15:49,793
Wait a minute. They're all
at a different party?
401
00:15:49,793 --> 00:15:52,903
But they're supposed
to be at this party.
402
00:15:52,896 --> 00:15:56,096
Those backstabbing
mother [ bleep ] are gonna pay!
403
00:15:57,482 --> 00:15:59,932
[ music playing ]
404
00:15:59,931 --> 00:16:01,621
Here he comes.
405
00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:03,240
You can do it, June.
406
00:16:03,241 --> 00:16:04,761
[ exhales ]
407
00:16:06,172 --> 00:16:08,172
This wine is great.
408
00:16:08,172 --> 00:16:10,862
Is it making my teeth red?
409
00:16:10,862 --> 00:16:12,072
You're not--
410
00:16:12,068 --> 00:16:13,788
You gotta open your mouth.
411
00:16:13,793 --> 00:16:16,723
It's a joke, see.
I ask you to look
at my teeth,
412
00:16:16,724 --> 00:16:18,794
but then I don't open my mouth.
413
00:16:18,793 --> 00:16:20,003
Get it?
414
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,520
Mm-mm.
415
00:16:22,620 --> 00:16:25,000
How are mine?
416
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:27,788
You do get it.
417
00:16:27,793 --> 00:16:30,623
Am I flirting with a man
at a party?
418
00:16:30,620 --> 00:16:33,170
Who am I, Lauren Conrad?
419
00:16:33,172 --> 00:16:35,622
[ screams ]
What about mine?
420
00:16:38,103 --> 00:16:39,553
She fell off the wagon.
421
00:16:39,551 --> 00:16:41,071
And the wagon ran over her.
422
00:16:42,724 --> 00:16:44,344
- Eve: Oh!
- [ glass breaking ]
423
00:16:44,344 --> 00:16:46,384
- [ doorbell rings ]
- Oh!
424
00:16:46,379 --> 00:16:47,899
That must be my friends!
425
00:16:47,896 --> 00:16:51,206
I mean, our friends,
right, June?
426
00:16:51,206 --> 00:16:52,786
Woman:
Party people!
427
00:16:52,793 --> 00:16:55,593
Our house is filling
with strangers!
428
00:16:55,586 --> 00:16:58,856
Don't have enough trash bags
or toilet paper or other
anxiety!
429
00:16:58,862 --> 00:17:00,762
Kat will know what to do.
430
00:17:04,379 --> 00:17:07,759
Well, well, well!
431
00:17:07,758 --> 00:17:10,898
A theatre full
of Brutuses and Judases!
432
00:17:10,896 --> 00:17:12,136
Oh, Kat, hey.
433
00:17:12,137 --> 00:17:13,967
Hey, yourself!
434
00:17:13,965 --> 00:17:16,205
What's all this?
435
00:17:16,206 --> 00:17:18,406
Oh, shit.
436
00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:19,973
We forgot about your party.
437
00:17:21,103 --> 00:17:23,073
- You forgot?
- We were just hanging out
438
00:17:23,068 --> 00:17:25,518
after rehearsal
and lost track of time.
439
00:17:25,517 --> 00:17:26,687
We were gonna text you.
440
00:17:26,689 --> 00:17:28,279
Yeah, thought you forgot?
441
00:17:28,275 --> 00:17:29,545
We were gonna come.
442
00:17:29,551 --> 00:17:30,931
Which one is it?
443
00:17:30,931 --> 00:17:32,971
- I mean, it's neither.
- It's, like, nothing.
444
00:17:32,965 --> 00:17:35,095
- Yeah.
- Yeah. I wouldn't
even think about it.
445
00:17:35,103 --> 00:17:36,793
- It's like, do you want a beer?
- It's not a big deal.
446
00:17:36,793 --> 00:17:40,313
It almost feels
like they don't want me around.
447
00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:42,660
Maybe they don't like me.
448
00:17:42,655 --> 00:17:44,655
Nah!
They just hate themselves!
449
00:17:44,655 --> 00:17:47,585
I just wanted
to, uh, dis-invite you.
450
00:17:49,793 --> 00:17:52,483
Time to leave gracefully,
head held high.
451
00:17:53,344 --> 00:17:55,214
Snacks at parties.
452
00:17:55,206 --> 00:17:56,686
Babies!
453
00:17:57,827 --> 00:17:59,897
This is getting out of hand.
454
00:17:59,896 --> 00:18:01,826
And I have such weak hands.
455
00:18:01,827 --> 00:18:03,337
I need to kick them out.
456
00:18:03,344 --> 00:18:05,724
Larry!
457
00:18:05,724 --> 00:18:07,724
I need you to kick
these people out.
458
00:18:07,724 --> 00:18:10,484
I can't. I'm not used
to speaking roles.
459
00:18:10,482 --> 00:18:12,212
A swing!
460
00:18:12,206 --> 00:18:14,336
Eve, no!
No swinging.
461
00:18:14,344 --> 00:18:15,664
Just a little swing.
462
00:18:15,655 --> 00:18:17,545
No, just stay
in the Chill Room, okay?
463
00:18:17,551 --> 00:18:20,281
Just... chill.
464
00:18:20,275 --> 00:18:22,995
Where is Kat?
465
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,030
Hey, June,
I think I'm gonna go...
466
00:18:25,034 --> 00:18:26,864
- Oh, bummer!
- ...into The Chill Room.
467
00:18:26,862 --> 00:18:29,792
This has actually been
not that bad.
468
00:18:29,793 --> 00:18:32,383
Being out in the world
feels good.
469
00:18:32,379 --> 00:18:34,099
I'm feeling good.
470
00:18:34,103 --> 00:18:35,313
[ screams ]
471
00:18:35,310 --> 00:18:37,310
Oh, my God!
472
00:18:37,310 --> 00:18:38,690
- Okay, there it is.
- June: Eve!
473
00:18:38,689 --> 00:18:42,029
Eve! I said no swinging!
474
00:18:42,034 --> 00:18:44,174
- I didn't!
- Uh...
475
00:18:44,172 --> 00:18:45,902
you guys are gonna pay
for that.
476
00:18:45,896 --> 00:18:47,546
I mean, not like
"pay for that."
477
00:18:47,551 --> 00:18:49,341
- But I'm--
- No, I know what you meant.
478
00:18:49,344 --> 00:18:50,904
I am so sorry.
479
00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:53,716
It's okay. You can put stuff
in here now.
480
00:18:54,862 --> 00:18:57,902
I'm gonna shut
this party down.
481
00:18:57,896 --> 00:18:59,206
Right...
482
00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:00,926
Nope, I am a coward.
483
00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:03,281
I hide instead.
484
00:19:07,068 --> 00:19:08,828
- Kat!
- [ grunts ]
485
00:19:08,827 --> 00:19:11,997
- What the hell?
- This is where I come
to I think, God!
486
00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:17,830
Why would you throw a party
and then leave me here alone?
487
00:19:17,827 --> 00:19:19,447
Oh, well, you were just fine
488
00:19:19,448 --> 00:19:21,338
rubbing all your friendship
in my face.
489
00:19:21,344 --> 00:19:23,144
I lied, okay.
490
00:19:23,137 --> 00:19:25,857
They're not my friends.
They're extras that I hired.
491
00:19:25,862 --> 00:19:28,142
Extras?
492
00:19:28,137 --> 00:19:30,207
Why does everyone lie to me?
493
00:19:30,206 --> 00:19:32,096
I'm cuckolded again
and again!
494
00:19:32,103 --> 00:19:35,833
I lied, because I don't
have any friends.
495
00:19:35,827 --> 00:19:38,407
You don't have any friends?
496
00:19:38,413 --> 00:19:39,793
Like, you're completely alone?
497
00:19:39,793 --> 00:19:41,763
Okay, I wouldn't go that far.
498
00:19:41,758 --> 00:19:44,858
Well, twist my butthole.
[ clicks tongue ]
499
00:19:44,862 --> 00:19:46,552
That's great!
500
00:19:46,551 --> 00:19:48,071
My friends not showing up
501
00:19:48,068 --> 00:19:50,308
isn't nearly as uncool
as having to hire them.
502
00:19:50,310 --> 00:19:53,720
Okay, debatable, but, Kat,
503
00:19:53,724 --> 00:19:56,904
I need you to harness
your abrasive nature
and kick everyone out.
504
00:19:56,896 --> 00:20:00,066
You're blunt
and it's extremely off-putting,
505
00:20:00,068 --> 00:20:02,238
but also very effective.
506
00:20:02,241 --> 00:20:04,241
So you need me to be here?
507
00:20:04,241 --> 00:20:06,721
Yes!
508
00:20:06,724 --> 00:20:09,454
Okay. I guess
I'll help you, then.
509
00:20:09,448 --> 00:20:11,278
You know,
510
00:20:11,275 --> 00:20:14,305
this is the most I've heard
you talk since you moved in.
511
00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:18,690
Well, I guess
I'm getting mildly comfortable
512
00:20:18,689 --> 00:20:20,099
around you,
because you're so...
513
00:20:20,103 --> 00:20:21,933
Ridiculous.
...honest.
514
00:20:21,931 --> 00:20:24,001
Oh!
515
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,240
I'm getting comfortable, too,
because I feel so...
516
00:20:27,241 --> 00:20:28,831
Brave.
...brave.
517
00:20:29,655 --> 00:20:31,715
- Hm.
- You know,
518
00:20:31,724 --> 00:20:35,104
I always knew
I would save the day.
519
00:20:35,103 --> 00:20:38,623
Okay, but you also technically
started the day--
520
00:20:38,620 --> 00:20:41,140
I'm saving the day!
Whoo!
521
00:20:41,137 --> 00:20:43,097
Fine.
522
00:20:44,206 --> 00:20:46,716
[ music playing ]
523
00:20:46,724 --> 00:20:48,454
- [ music stops ]
- [ people groan ]
524
00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:50,548
Everybody, get
the [ bleep ] out!
525
00:20:50,551 --> 00:20:52,831
Party's over!
You're all losers! Go!
526
00:20:52,827 --> 00:20:55,207
- Okay, that's a little
abrasive, but--
- Get out!
527
00:20:55,206 --> 00:20:56,926
- June: Yes.
- Kat: Get out!
528
00:20:56,931 --> 00:20:59,381
- What? And what? And what?
- June: Leave, please.
529
00:20:59,379 --> 00:21:01,479
- Thank you for coming.
- Get out!
530
00:21:01,482 --> 00:21:03,382
David, get out.
531
00:21:03,379 --> 00:21:05,789
- What? I-- I own this house.
- Get out.
532
00:21:05,793 --> 00:21:07,693
Get out!
533
00:21:07,689 --> 00:21:09,409
- Thank you so much
for coming.
- God.
534
00:21:09,413 --> 00:21:11,483
[ exhales ]
535
00:21:11,482 --> 00:21:14,002
What's that?
536
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,790
Uh... right.
537
00:21:15,793 --> 00:21:18,003
I was gonna tell you
about that.
538
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,340
Nice!
539
00:21:19,344 --> 00:21:21,344
I've always wanted
a little Boo Radley hole
540
00:21:21,344 --> 00:21:24,344
to keep my treasures.
541
00:21:24,344 --> 00:21:26,834
It's okay, little bro.
542
00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:30,337
I guess there's only
one last thing to do.
543
00:21:30,344 --> 00:21:32,344
Fix the hole.
544
00:21:32,344 --> 00:21:34,104
Nope. Limbo.
545
00:21:34,103 --> 00:21:36,243
How low can you go?
546
00:21:36,241 --> 00:21:38,721
[ singing ]
♪ How low can you go?
547
00:21:38,724 --> 00:21:41,864
♪ How low can you go?
♪ How low can you go?
548
00:21:41,862 --> 00:21:43,592
[ man groans ]
549
00:21:43,586 --> 00:21:46,586
Okay, June you've gotta get
more comfortable watching porn.
550
00:21:46,586 --> 00:21:49,376
It's good for your brain
and groin.
551
00:21:49,379 --> 00:21:50,689
I'm not a prude,
I just--
552
00:21:50,689 --> 00:21:53,619
I find the men
so unattractive.
553
00:21:53,620 --> 00:21:55,520
- I don't know where to look.
- I get that.
554
00:21:55,517 --> 00:21:57,447
I focus on the boobs.
555
00:21:57,448 --> 00:21:59,518
Thinking they're my boobs.
Try it.
556
00:21:59,517 --> 00:22:02,477
- Man: Ooh, yeah.
- Woman: Uh-huh.
557
00:22:02,482 --> 00:22:03,862
Woman: Yeah.
558
00:22:03,862 --> 00:22:05,832
No, Kat, I--
I'm down to hang out.
559
00:22:05,827 --> 00:22:08,857
- Just not like this.
- Okay.
560
00:22:08,862 --> 00:22:11,552
June, I guess there's
one last thing to do.
561
00:22:11,551 --> 00:22:13,141
Oh. You already said that,
562
00:22:13,137 --> 00:22:14,967
and then we played limbo.
For hours.
563
00:22:14,965 --> 00:22:18,135
And then I was winning,
and you suddenly said
time was up--
564
00:22:18,137 --> 00:22:19,757
Okay, second
to last thing to do.
565
00:22:19,758 --> 00:22:22,618
Looks like June
"Make Friend."
566
00:22:22,620 --> 00:22:24,380
How'd you find
my checklist?
567
00:22:24,379 --> 00:22:25,619
I told you.
568
00:22:25,620 --> 00:22:27,280
I like hanging out
in your room.
569
00:22:27,275 --> 00:22:29,475
I'm glad that's in pencil.
570
00:22:29,482 --> 00:22:31,482
[ woman giggles ]
571
00:22:31,482 --> 00:22:33,482
- Woman: Yeah.
- [ man moans ]
572
00:22:33,482 --> 00:22:37,482
- Woman: Uh-huh. Yeah.
- Man: Oh, yeah.
40192
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