All language subtitles for Man Up s01e12_English

HEY, WILL.

WANTED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING,
BUT WE FORGOT.

OKAY. THANKS FOR COMING.

NO, WAIT.

WAS IT ABOUT HIS HAIR?

YES, YOU ALREADY TOLD ME

THAT MY HAIR LOOKS
LIKE THAT CHOCOLATE TOPPING

THAT HARDENS
WHEN YOU PUT IT ON ICE CREAM.

(laughs) IT TOTALLY DOES.

OUR BUSINESS HERE IS DONE.

WAIT. I KNOW WHAT IT WAS--
TRANS AM.

RIGHT.MY TRANS AM'S
BEEN ACTING UP AGAIN.

I GOTTA TAKE IT INTO THE SHOP.

IT'S LURCHING AND SPUTTERING
AND MAKING WEIRD NOISES.

SOUNDS LIKE ME
WHEN I TRY TO DANCE.

WHOA, WILL.
LOVE YOURSELF, MAN.

YOU NEED TO FOLLOW ME
TO THE GARAGE.
(fingers snap)

CRAIG, YOU NEED
TO BRING THE BOOTY MUG.

THE BOOTY MUG?
YOU STILL USE THAT THING?

'COURSE. GIVES ME STREET CRED
WITH GUYS WHO DO MANLY JOBS.

(sighs)
THE PIPES ARE CORRODED.

IT'S GONNA COST YOU
1,000 BUCKS.

1,000?

YOU SURE ABOUT THAT, CHIEF?

YOU SEEM LIKE A PRETTY GOOD GUY.
I CAN PROBABLY DO IT FOR $200.

ALL RIGHT. I'M GONNA GO
LOOK AT SOME "PLAYBOYS."

CALL ME WHEN YOU'RE DONE.

YOU GOT IT.

THERE ISN'T ANYTHING
THAT MUG CAN'T DO.

KENNY, YOU SHOULD JUST
WORK ON YOUR CAR YOURSELF.

THERE'S NOTHING
LIKE THE SATISFACTION

OF FIXING SOMETHING
WITH YOUR OWN HANDS.

OH, WILL, YOU KNOW
I HAVE NO MECHANICAL SKILLS.

MY ONLY TRUE SKILLS ARE
LICK-BATHING MYSELF LIKE A CAT

AND SHAKE-DRYING MYSELF
LIKE A DOG.

ONE TIME
I WALKED IN ON YOU

TAKING A BATH
BELLY-DOWN LIKE A SEAL.

KEEPS MY BUTT-TOCKS COOL.

SO...

I'VE GOT NEWS.

GRANT AND I ARE THINKING
OF MOVING IN TOGETHER.

REALLY?
WELL, THAT IS GREAT.

I GOT TO SAY, THIS IS
THE HEALTHIEST RELATIONSHIP

THAT YOU HAVE EVER HAD.

BUT FIRST I WANT TO PROVOKE HIM
INTO HAVING A BIG, UGLY FIGHT.

AW, THERE'S THE GIRL I KNOW.

IT'S JUST, WE'VE NEVER FOUGHT,

AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT
THAT'S LIKE BEFORE I COMMIT.

WELL, THAT MAKES SENSE,
THERESA SAYS,

NOT MEANING IT,
BUT TRYING TO BE SUPPORTIVE.

WHEN I WAS WITH KENNY,

FIGHTING WAS THE WORST THING
ABOUT OUR MARRIAGE--

THAT, AND SLEEPING WITH HIM

WAS LIKE BEING STEAMROLLED
BY A BAG OF ELBOWS.

WELL, GOOD LUCK
GETTING GRANT TO FIGHT.

IT'D BE EASIER TO GET
A RAINBOW TO FLIP YOU OFF.

I KNOW. THE MAN HAS
NO BUTTONS TO PUSH.

THIS ONE, HOWEVER, IS ALL
BUTTONS. HEY, KENNY.SHMERMI.

SHMERMI?WHAT THE HELL DOES
THAT MEAN? YOU'RE RELENTLESS!

(laughs)

YOU GUYS READY TO GO?

SHUT UP, BRO.

DIDN'T MEAN THAT.
THAT WAS THE BOOTY MUG TALKIN'.

SINCE YOU'RE FOLLOWING ME
TO THE MECHANIC'S,

YOU SHOULD KNOW
THAT SOMETHING CLEAR AND STICKY

IS SPEWING OUT
OF THE TRANS AM'S TAILPIPE.

IT ISOUTRAGEOUSLYFLAMMABLE,
SO KEEP YOUR DISTANCE.

I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU KEEP
THAT PIECE OF JUNK, KENNY.

I STILL THINK
DAD ONLY GAVE IT TO YOU

AS PUNISHMENT
FOR QUITTING FOOTBALL.

UH, I DIDN'T QUIT FOOTBALL.

I WAS THROWN OFF THE TEAM
FOR CRYING,

AND THAT CAR'S
JUST A LITTLE QUIRKY.

NO, IT'S A GIANT QUIRK
THAT'S A LITTLE CAR-Y.

I WORKED ON IT WITH DAD
WHEN WE WERE KIDS, KENNY.

I SHOULD KNOW.
LET IT DIE ALREADY.

IT'S JUST SHOWING ITS AGE.

WHO HERE AMONG US HASN'T,
AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIVES,

SPEWED A CLEAR,
FLAMMABLE LIQUID?

OH, MY GOD.
AM I THE ONLY ONE?

(whirring)

COMPRESSION'S
OUT OF WHACK,

RINGS ARE SHOT,
TIMING BELT NEEDS REPLACING.

I'M GONNA NOD
LIKE I UNDERSTAND,

BUT I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

ALL RIGHT, TRY THIS--$5,000.

(exhales deeply)

CRAIG? BOOTY? DO SOMETHING.

UH, YOU SURE ABOUT
THAT NUMBER, BIG DOG?

YOU SEEM LIKE A GOOD GUY.

CAN'T HELP YOU WITH THE MONEY,

BUT I'D LOVE TO GO BOWLING
WITH YOU SOMETIME.

(sighs)
NO!

KENNY, COME HERE.

(drilling in distance)

WE CAN TOTALLY
FIX YOUR TRANS AM OURSELVES.

I HAVE TONS OF CAR TOOLS--
LIFTS, GAUGES,

UH, ONE OF THOSE WRENCHES,
UH, WHAT'S IT CALLED?

UH, GOES...
(makes clicking sound)

YOU'RE NOT
INSPIRING CONFIDENCE.

RATCHET.

YES, THEY'RE FILTHY ANIMALS,
BUT HOW DOES THAT HELP US?

KENNY, I FIX STUFF
AROUND THE HOUSE ALL THE TIME.

COME ON.
WE CAN TOTALLY DO THIS.

OKAY, WILL.
I WILL FIX THIS CAR WITH YOU.

TINY LITTLE BABY LIPS.

I'M SORRY.

THERE WAS A LOT OF FUMES
IN THE TRANS AM ON THE WAY OVER.

(beeping)
YEAH, LOOKS LIKE
WHAT WE'VE GOT HERE

IS SOME OF THOSE STEEL-BELTED
SONS OF BITCHES, HUH?

(thump)

HEY. NICE MUG.

OH, NO. IT'S JUST AN IRONIC
ANTI-OBJECTIFICATION--

NO, SERIOUSLY, I LOVE IT.
(chuckles) IT'S FUNNY.

IT'S GREAT TO SEE A GUY
WHO'S NOT AFRAID TO BE A GUY.

I'M BECKY. (chuckles)

I'M CRAIG.

SO TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF.

OH, WAIT,
I'M NOT INTERESTED...

BECAUSE I'M A GUY.

(sighs)
I'M TAKING OUT THE RECYCLING.

MM.

I'LL DO IT.
IT'S MY HOUSE.

(clatters)

BUT, BRENDA, THAT'S RECYCLING.

(plate clatters)

YEAH,
BUT I'VE BEEN THINKING,

WHO REALLY CARES
ABOUT THE PLANET?

AS LONG AS IT HOLDS UP
TILL I'M DEAD,

SCREW THE NEXT GENERATION.

(vacuum whirring)

SO GRANT CLEANS
WHEN HE GETS MAD?

I KNOW. ISN'T THAT WEIRD?

HE'S HANDSOME, CHARMING,
AND NOW THIS.

IF YOU TELL ME
THAT NAGGING MAKES HIM HORNY,

I'M GONNA KILL YOU.

THE GUY'S EVEN IRONING
MY SHEETS. I FEEL LIKE THE POPE.

FOR SOME REASON,
I'VE ALWAYS IMAGINED THAT

THE POPE HAS A HOT BLACK GUY
THAT IRONS HIS SHEETS.

SO WHAT HAPPENED TO FINDING OUT
IF YOU SHOULD MOVE IN TOGETHER?

YEAH, I'M PUTTING THAT
ON THE BACK BURNER,

WHICH, BY THE WAY,
IS VERY CLEAN.

(door opens)

UNCLE KENNY AND DADDY
ARE ARGUING IN THE GARAGE.

THEY SAID
I COULD HAVE ICE CREAM

IF I DIDN'T TELL YOU
THE BAD WORDS THEY SAID.

CHOCOLATE, PLEASE.

(sighs)

HOW CAN YOU MIX UP MY CAR PARTS
WITH PIECES OFYOUR LAWN MOWER?!

I JUST PUT A FEW PIECES
IN THE WRONG PILE, OKAY?

I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING, KENNY.

WHO'S THE ONE WHO GOT
THE MASTER CYLINDER OUT?

WE DIDN'T NEED TO TAKE
THE MASTER CYLINDER OUT!

OH, YEAH? WELL, THEN,
HOW WERE WE SUPPOSED

TO GET TO THE SCREWDRIVER
THAT I DROPPED?!

YEAH,
THIS LOOKS ABOUT RIGHT.

BOYS, WHY DON'T YOU
CONSIDER THIS THE AUTOPSY

AND JUST GET RID OF THE BODY?

I CAN FIX THIS.

I'M THE ONE WHO FIGURED OUT
HOW TO GET OUR HANDS UNSTUCK

FROM THE AIR CONDITIONER VENT,
WASN'T I?

(both groan)

OH, WE'RE STUCK.

DOES ANYBODY EVEN KNOW
WE'RE HERE?

I KNEW THIS IS HOW DEATH
WOULD FIND ME. (sobs)
(panting)

THAT WASN'T EXACTLY
A CHALLENGE.

WE JUST HAD TO CALM DOWN
AND UNCLENCH OUR FISTS.

I'M SERIOUS, WILL.

THIS ALREADY FEELS LIKE
ONE OF THOSE PROJECTS

THAT YOU START AND NEVER GETS
DONE, LIKE LUCY'S SWING SET.

LUCY DOESN'T HAVE A SWING SET.
SHE ONLY HAS A BAG OF BOLTS

AND CHAINS AND SWINGS SHE PLAYS
WITH NEXT TO HER LUMBER PILE.

OH, DAMN IT, WILL.

HEY, HEY. I'M GONNA FINISH THAT.
THERESA JUST GETS IMPATIENT.

SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND
THAT SOMETIMES

A GUY NEEDS A LITTLE BREAK
TO COME UP WITH A PLAN.

I DON'T WANT THIS THING
IN MY GARAGE FOREVER.

IF IT'S STILL HERE IN A WEEK,

I'M GONNA
TAKE CARE OF IT MYSELF.

HONESTLY, KENNY, YOU SHOULD JUST
LET IT DIE A DIGNIFIED DEATH,

LIKE WE DIDN'T DO
WITH GRANDMA.

OHH.

THIS CAR IS NOTHING
LIKE GRANDMA.

IT DOESN'T SPIT OR SLAP
OR SAY RACIST THINGS.

BUT IF YOU DON'T
PUT IT BACK TOGETHER,

I'M-A DOALLTHAT,

YOU LAZY,
LILY-WHITE SNOW DEVIL.

SO I WENT ON MY DATE WITH BECKY,
THE TOW TRUCK DRIVER,

AND I WORE THAT BELT BUCKLE
MY UNCLE ROGER GAVE ME

THAT JUST SAYS, "BALLS."

I NEVER UNDERSTOOD THAT BUCKLE.
IT NEEDS A VERB OR SOMETHING.

(scoffs)
REAL MEN DON'T USE VERBS.

SO... I PROBLEM BECKY.
YOU ME ADVICE.

YOU NEED TO USE VERBS.

FINE. BECKY'S GREAT--

PRETTY, FIRM HANDSHAKE,
CONVERSATIONALLY VULGAR--

EVERYTHING YOU'D WANT
IN A WOMAN.

THE THING IS...
SHE'S A SEXIST.

SHE HAS A PROBLEM WITH MEN?

NO, NOT WITH MEN.

(sobbing)

STUPID WOMAN DRIVER. MOST WOMEN
SHOULD BE BANNED FROM THE ROAD.

OHH, AND LOOK AT HER CRY.
CRYBABY.

WHAT ARE YOU,
ON YOUR PERIOD?!

OKAY. HERE'S MY ADVICE.
DUMP HER.

I NEED DIFFERENT ADVICE.

THEN PUT UP WITH HER.
I CAN'T, WILL.

SEXISM GOES AGAINST
EVERYTHING I BELIEVE.

PEOPLE WHO ASCRIBE
STEREOTYPICAL TRAITS

TO A GROUP OF OTHER PEOPLE
ARE ALL THE SAME,

AND THEY SHOULD BE ROUNDED UP
AND TREATED AS INFERIOR.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO HER.
TELL HER IT BOTHERS YOU.

I WANT TO,
BUT HOW DOES A GUY

WEARING A TESTICLE-REFERENCING
BELT BUCKLE

TALK ABOUT HIS FEELINGS?

I TROUBLE.

HEY! I NEED MY CAR, WILL.

WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
SHORTS.

I'VE BEEN RIDING MY BIKE TO GO
DO MY ROUNDS BECAUSE SOME IDIOT

TOOK APART MY CAR AND WON'T
PUT IT BACK TOGETHER AGAIN!

I'M FIGURING IT OUT.

I WENT ONLINE
TO DO SOME RESEARCH,

BUT I DIDN'T FIND
ANYTHING HELPFUL.

OH, BUT I DID SEE
THIS REALLY FUNNY VIDEO

OF THIS FAT KID
ON A ROLLER COASTER. (laughs)

YOUWILLFIX THIS CAR, WILL.

(whispers) YOUWILL,WILL.

THE QUESTION IS, CAN HE?

(normal voice) WHAT?

NO, I'M SAYING,
"CAN HE?"

WHAT?

"CAN HE" FIX THE CAR?

I'M NOT GONNA FIX IT.
HE TOOK IT APART.

HE SHOULD DO IT.

WHO, WILL?

HEWILL!

I KNOW! HE, WILL.
YOU, KENNY. I, CRAIG.

SEE, THIS IS
HOW REAL MEN TALK.

OH! HI, WILL.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?

DOES IT UPSET YOU WHEN
SOMEONE TAKES APART YOUR CAR

AND DOESN'T PUT IT
BACK TOGETHER?WEIRD.

(cackles)

OH, SO THAT'S
WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO?

WELL, REMEMBER,
I'M THE ONE WITH ALL THE TOOLS!

EXCEPT THE BIGGEST TOOL OF ALL--
YOU!

MR. PATTERSON.

WHALES ARE STUPID AND THEY TAKE
UP TOO MUCH ROOM IN THE OCEAN.

THESE GET WASHED ON GENTLE.

(yells)

OH, IT'S JUST YOU.

YOU ALMOST TRIGGERED

MY FLIGHT-OR-CURL-UP-INTO-A-BALL
RESPONSE.

I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND
I LET MYSELF IN.

BRENDA FIGURED OUT
I CLEAN WHEN I GET ANGRY,

AND SHE'S BEEN
TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THAT.

(sighs)

I DON'T WANT HER
TO BENEFIT

FROM HER EXTREMELY
EFFECTIVE SNEAK-ERY.

SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST
TALK TO HER ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS?

ISN'T THAT
WHAT YOU HIPPIES DO?

I'M WORRIED IF I TALK TO HER
ABOUT IT, I'LL GET ANGRY,

AND THAT'LL MAKE ME CLEAN,
AND AROUND AND AROUND WE'LL GO.

THEN WHY DON'T YOU MAKEHER
ANGRY SO SHE SEES HOW IT FEELS?

THAT'S THE ONLY LANGUAGE THAT
TINY SACK OF EVIL UNDERSTANDS.

OKAY. HOW DO I MAKE HER ANGRY?

WELL, WHEN WE WERE MARRIED,

I DISCOVERED A FEW THINGS
THAT PISS HER OFF.

ACCIDENTALLY
THROWING UP ON HER

WHILE SHE'S SLEEPING
ON THE PLANE,

ACCIDENTALLY
THROWING UP ON HER

WHILE TRYING TO GET
AN EYELASH OUT OF HER EYE,

ACCIDENTALLY
THROWING UP ON--

IF POSSIBLE, I'D LOVE TO GET OUT
OF THE WHOLE UPCHUCK ARENA.

WELL, SHE DOES
HATE BEING SCARED.

I ONCE JUMPED
OUT OF A PILE OF LAUNDRY.

(laughing) SHE GOT SO MAD...

(stops laughing)
IT MADE ME THROW UP ON HER.

SCARE HER, HUH?

LIKE, "BOO!"?

NOT QUITE. LET ME GET A BEER,
AND WE'LL WORK ON IT.

BOO.

OHH!

THAT WAS BETTER?

(high-pitched voice)
WHAT THE HELL?

OH, I MEANT TO TELL YOU,
WILL STOPPED BY EARLIER

AND DISASSEMBLED
YOUR REFRIGERATOR.

(normal voice)
AND YOU JUST LET HIM?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT SORT OF
ARRANGEMENT YOU FELLAS HAVE.

AND THAT'S WHY
I GAVE UP CAGE FIGHTING.

I LOVE FIGHTING, OF COURSE.
I JUST HATE BEING CAGED IN.

OH. MY BROTHERS
LOVE FIGHTING, TOO.

YOU SHOULD
FIGHTTHEMSOMETIME.

YEAH.

(chuckles)

(chuckles)

OHH, SHE DIDN'T
ADD THE CHECK RIGHT.

BIG SURPRISE--
A WOMAN WHO CAN'T DO MATH.

YOU KNOW, BECKY, YOU SAY A LOT
OF NEGATIVE THINGS ABOUT WOMEN.

YEAH. NOW LET'S GO HOME AND GET
THOSE PANTS OFF YOU, DUMMY.

OKAY.

NOW.

OKAY.

I'M GONNA TEAR YOU UP.

I'M IN.

OHH, KENNY.

OH.

SORRY, WILL.
MY MONEY'S ON KENNY.

SO BECKY AND I WENT OUT
LAST NIGHT,

AND SHE WAS GOD-AWFUL,
BUT I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING

BECAUSE MY WIENER WANTED
TO HAVE A SEXY ADVENTURE.

ANYWAY, I FIGURE IT'S NOT WRONG
FOR ME TO KEEP SEEING BECKY

AS LONG AS I COUNTERBALANCE
HER SEXIST BEHAVIOR.

SO WHENEVER I'M NOT WITH HER,

I'M GONNA BE EXTRA, EXTRA,
SUPER-DUPER SUPPORTIVE OF WOMEN.

I STARTED THIS MORNING.

OH. LET ME, UH...

(pants)

I'M SORRY, I WAS ABOUT TO TREAT
YOU LIKE AN INCAPABLE WOMAN,

BUT INSTEAD, I WILL CELEBRATE
YOUR POWERFUL FEMALE ABILITY.

(grunting)
YOU GO, GIRL. YOU CAN DO IT.

YOU CAN DO IT. YOU CAN DO IT.
LIFT THAT WATER.

YOU GO, GIRL.
YOU DO IT.

YOU CAN LIFT THAT WATER.
LIFT THAT WATER.

I'M STILL FINE-TUNING
THE CONCEPT.

WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS CRAZY.

YEAH, WELL,
FROM THE LOOKS OF YOUR DESK,

YOU CERTAINLY KNOW CRAZY.

IN FACT, YOU'RE A BARMAID
SITTING ON CRAZY'S LAP,

AND CRAZY IS DRUNK,
TRYING TO UNBUTTON YOUR BLOUSE,

AND YOU'RE NOT DOING
ANYTHING TO STOP HIM.

(telephone rings)

HOW AM I SUPPOSED
TO ANSWER THAT?

ONE SECOND. HI, WILL.
SORRY WE MISSED YOU.

IT'S THE SCREWS FROM YOUR DESK.
WE'RE TAKING A PERSONAL DAY.

(high-pitched voice) BOOP.
(normal voice) WELL, HEY, GUYS.

I JUST GOT A TEXT
FROM THERESA.

YOU ONLY HAVE FOUR DAYS
TO FIX MY CAR

BEFORE SHE GETS RID OF IT.

OH, MY GOD.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR DESK?

I WOULD HAVE BEEN DONE
FIXING YOUR CAR BY NOW

IF YOU HADN'T DISTRACTED ME
BY ACTING ALL CRAZY.

OH, YOU KNOW CRAZY.

AND ONCE CRAZY GETS YOUR BLOUSE
UNBUTTONED, HE TAKES YOU OUT

TO A FIELD BY THE TRAIN TRACKS,
LAYS YOU DOWN ON A DOG BLANKET.

YOU JUST KEEP STARING UP
AT THAT MOON, HOPING ONE DAY

YOU'LL GET OUT OF THIS TOWN
AND PROVE YOUR DADDY WRONG,

BECAUSE YOU'RE A DANCER,
DAMN IT--

THAT'S IT.
I'M OUTTA HERE.

(scoffs) WHAT'S HIS PROBLEM?

I HAVE NO IDEA.

NOT MY FAVORITE SUIT.

NO!

I HOPE REVENGE SUITSYOU,
WILLIAM J. KEEN.

I'M JUST SAYING, THAT CAR'S
TAKING UP ROOM IN THE GARAGE,

I CAN SMELL IT IN THE HOUSE,
AND I NEED IT OUT OF HERE.

WELL, I'M NOT GONNA FIX ITNOW.

YOUR BROTHER'S BEING
TOO BIG A JERK.

WILL, WOULD YOU
COME HERE A MINUTE?

I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO BACK
DOWN FOR SOME STUPID MAN REASON,

BUT CAN YOU PLEASE
FIX MY BROTHER'S CAR,

PREFERABLY TONIGHT

SO I CAN PEE WITHOUT CROUCHING
LIKE AN ANCIENT ROMAN?

ICAN'TFIX HIS CAR.

YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT ME.
I DON'T FINISH THINGS.

I JUS--I GET OVERWHELMED
AND I GIVE UP.

IF I REALLY PICKED APART
MY PERSONALITY,

I'D HAVE TO SAY...

UGH, FORGET IT.

WELL, I'M GIVING UP
ON THE TOILET, TOO,

AND THAT'S SAD,

SINCE IT'S BEEN THE SITE OF
SOME OF MY GREATEST VICTORIES.

EW.

LOOK, MAYBE YOU JUST NEED
TO PICK ONE THING

AND FOLLOW THROUGH ON IT, JUST
TO SHOW YOURSELF YOU CAN DO IT--

NOT FIXING THE TOILET,
BECAUSE THE STAKES ARE TOO HIGH,

BUT THIS DID ALL START
WITH KENNY'S CAR.

YOU'RE RIGHT. I NEED TO SEE
SOMETHING THROUGH TO THE END.

AND I'M GONNA GET STARTED
ON THAT RIGHT NOW.

(thud)

IT'S HAPPENING!
GLOBAL WARMING!

OH, IT'S YOU. WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN MY SLEEPING QUARTERS?

OH, I'M TAKING APART YOUR BED.
I'M NOT GONNA QUIT THIS, KENNY.

I NEED TO PROVE TO MYSELF
THAT I CAN FINISH SOMETHING,

AND THAT THING IS
THIS RIDICULOUS WAR WITH YOU.
(tool clatters)

UM, WHY DON'T YOU JUST FINISH
PUTTING MY CAR BACK TOGETHER,

YOU BUTT-PISTON?

BECAUSE I HAVE NO MECHANICAL
ABILITIES WHATSOEVER.

THEN WHY DID YOU TAKE IT APART
IN THE FIRST PLACE?!

BECAUSE I HAVE NO REASONING
ABILITIES WHATSOEVER.

SO I'M GONNA DISASSEMBLE
YOUR LIFE PIECE BY PIECE

UNTIL THERE'S NOTHING LEFT

BUT A PILE OF BEARD HAIR
AND SILLY T-SHIRTS.

I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU
THIS WAY BEFORE.

YOU'RE SO DETERMINED.
SUCH MAN-LIKE QUALITIES.

IT'S LIKEYOUHAVE
A BOOTY MUG...

INSIDE YOUR SOUL.

OKAY. CLEARLY, YOU WANT THIS
MORE THAN I DO.

YOU WIN. I'M GONNA FIGURE OUT
ANOTHER WAY TO FIX MY CAR.

REALLY?

YEAH.

I SAW SOMETHING
THROUGH TO THE END?

YES! TAKETHAT,CRAZY!

YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT ME.
IAMA DANCER.

YOU GO, WILL! LIVE YOUR DREAMS
FOR THE REST OF US!

YOU MANIAC.

(tires screech)
WAIT!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

I'M SORRY, KENNY. TIME'S UP.

I KNOW YOU HAVE A LOT
OF MEMORIES WITH THIS CAR,

BUT IT'S TIME TO LET IT GO,
SWEETIE.

OKAY, GET THIS PIECE OF CRAP
OUTTA HERE.

NO!

NOT TRANS AM-MIE!

AAH! (pants) HA!

YOU CAN'T TOW IT
IF I'M SITTING IN IT! (grunts)

(whispers) OH, GOD.

(grunts)

(sighs)

HEY! OW! SON OF A...
OHH!

OW! HANG ON!

SO DO WE HAVE SIX MORE WEEKS
OF WINTER, OR WHAT?

HA HA HA. THAT'S VERY FUNNY.
LET ME OUT.

NOT UNTIL YOU DO TO THIS CAR
WHAT WE'RE PRETTY SURE

THAT DISGRUNTLED NURSE
DID TO GRANDMA.

FINE.
I'LL REACH THE LATCH MYSELF.

(grunts)

I CHOOSE TO
STAY HERE FOR NOW.

OKAY.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND

WHY YOU HATE THIS CAR
SO MUCH, THERESA.

BECAUSE IT'S A JERK.

IT'S NOT A JERK.

I SHOULD KNOW
WHAT IT IS, KENNY.

I WAS THE ONE WHO SPENT A SUMMER
WORKING ON IT WITH DAD,

REBUILDING THE ENGINE, REPLACING
THE GEARS IN THE DIFFERENTIAL.

I THINK I SEE
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.

YOU'RE UPSET...
ABOUT... SOMETHIN'.

I'M UPSET BECAUSE
AFTER ALL OF THAT WORK,

DAD GAVEYOUTHE CAR
INSTEAD OF ME,

AND IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MINE.

DAD WAS NOT A GREAT DAD,
THERESA.

WHEN I WAS 10, I CAUGHT A FROG,
I WANTED TO KEEP IT AS A PET,

AND HE WANTED TO EAT ITS LEGS.
GUESS WHO WON?

AND THEY WERE DELICIOUS.

(sighs)

ON MY PROM NIGHT,
I HAD A PIMPLE,

AND DAD POINTED AT IT
IN FRONT OF MY DATE

AND CALLED IT
"MOUNT FACEMORE."

(laughs) I'M SORRY DAD DIDN'T
GIVE YOU THE CAR, THERESA.

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT NOW?

HOW ABOUT THIS INSTEAD?

I'LL HELP YOU GET IT RUNNING

IF YOU LET ME DRIVE IT
EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE...

LIKE, WHEN I HAVE A COLD
AND I CAN'T SMELL ANYTHING.

DEAL. HIGH FIVE?

(thud)

OHH!

HELLO AND WELCOME TO

THE FIRST "HEARTHSTONE INSURANCE
CAREER DAY FOR GIRLS."

OUR THEME IS "CRAIG EMPOWERS
FUTURE WOMEN." APPLAUD.

NO! DON'T DO WHAT I SAY
JUST BECAUSE I'M A MAN.

HEY, THERE YOU ARE.
I WAS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

THOUGHT I'D SEE IF YOU WANTED
TO GRAB A STEAK OR SOMETHIN'.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

OHH, NOTHING.
I JUST WANDERED IN HERE. WH--

MR. GRIFFITH
INVITED MY CLASS

TO HEAR A TALK ABOUT
A... CAREER FOR GIRLS.

(whispers)
I DON'T KNOW WHO THAT IS.

YOU'RE REALLY TALKING
TO THESE GIRLS ABOUT CAREERS?

(laughs) THAT'S A WASTE.

WHY IS IT A WASTE?

WELL, FIRST OF ALL,

MOST OF YOU SHOULD NOT
AND WILL NEVER HAVE REAL JOBS.

YOU'LL JUST FIND A GUY
TO TAKE CARE OF YOU,

SQUIRT OUT A COUPLE OF KIDS,

AND TRY AND HOLD ON
TO YOUR LOOKS.

WAIT A MINUTE,
WAIT A MINUTE.

BECKY, I'M SORRY,

BUT YOUR VIEWS ABOUT WOMEN
ARE ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE.

I THOUGHT I COULD GET OVER IT
BECAUSE WE HAD FANTASTIC...

PLAYTIME TOGETHER.
(chuckles)

I MEAN, REALLY GOOD,
CREATIVE STUFF.

BUT THE BOTTOM LINE IS I THINK
WOMEN CAN BE WHATEVER THEY WANT.
(gasps)

LIKE A DOCTOR
OR A LAWYER OR...

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE,
SWEETHEART?

A UNICORN!

AND YOU WILL BE.

YOU SEE, BECKY? I'M A FEMINIST,
AND WHILE I WISH SHE HAD SAID

SOMETHING LIKE "ASTRONAUT"
INSTEAD OF A MADE-UP CREATURE,

I THINK THAT THESE GIRLS

CAN DO WHATEVER
THEY PUT THEIR MINDS TO.

(girls) WHOO!

UGH. I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
YOUR BOOTY MUG IS A LIAR.

OH! AND TO THINK I ALMOST
LET YOU FIGHT MY FOUR BROTHERS,

MIKEY, TOMMY,
DANNY, AND STEVE.

FOUR OF 'EM?

(exhales deeply)

THIS IS A GOOD MAN! LET'S PARADE
HIM AROUND ON OUR SHOULDERS!

UH, I DON'T THINK
THAT'S A GOOD I--

ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHAT AM I SAYING?

IF YOU CAN DREAM IT,
YOU CAN DO IT, LADIES!

HOIST AWAY!

(girls giggling)

BOO!

AAH!
(squish)

(grunts)

(gasps)

SO MUCH FOR
MY NINE YEARS OF KARATE.

OH, MY GOD.
WHY DID YOU SCARE ME?

I WAS TRYING
TO TEACH YOU A LESSON

ABOUT WHAT IT FEELS LIKE
TO BE EMOTIONALLY TOYED WITH.

I DID NOT ANTICIPATE IT
ENDING IN A STABBING.

FRANKLY, I'M SURPRISED
ABOUT THAT, TOO.

THE TRUTH IS... I'M SCARED
ABOUT MOVING IN TOGETHER.

MAYBE WE SHOULD TALK.

GOOD IDEA. I'LL START.

OW.

(Craig)
SOMETIMES IT'S IMPORTANT

TO LET GO OF THINGS
SO YOU CAN MOVE ON.

WILL HAD TO LET GO
OF WANTING TO BE

THE KIND OF GUY
WHO COULD FIX THINGS.

FOR THERESA,

IT WAS LETTING GO
OF HER ANGER TOWARD HER DAD.

FOR BRENDA AND GRANT, IT WAS
LETTING GO OF THEIR FEARS

SO THEY COULD TAKE THE PLUNGE
AND MOVE IN TOGETHER.

BUT WHILE IT'S IMPORTANT
TO LET THINGS GO,

IT'S ALSO IMPORTANT TO REALIZE

THAT SOME THINGS
ARE WORTH HOLDING ON TO.

WHY ARE YOU
TELLING US ALL THIS?

SERIOUSLY,
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

THEY'RE MY FRIENDS, AND I WANTED
YOU TO HEAR WHAT THEY LEARNED

SO YOU REALIZE
THAT YOU, TOO, CAN LET GO

OF ANYTHING THAT KEEPS YOU
FROM YOUR DREAMS.

(singsongy) THIS IS BORING.

(normal voice) I THOUGHT
COMING TO AN INSURANCE COMPANY

WOULD BE FUN.

FRANKLY, TESS,
WITH AN ATTITUDE LIKE THAT,

YOU'LL NEVER BE A UNICORN.

ANYWAY, I LEARNED
TO LET GO OF SOMETHING, TOO.

GOOD-BYE, BOOTY MUG.

(thud)