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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,371 --> 00:00:03,031 (squeals) 2 00:00:03,034 --> 00:00:05,244 HYAH! 3 00:00:05,236 --> 00:00:07,236 I THINK IT'S A TIE. 4 00:00:07,238 --> 00:00:10,078 YOU'RE KIDDING ME. MY KICK IS SO MUCH HIGHER THAN HIS. 5 00:00:10,081 --> 00:00:12,211 I KNEW WE SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN A REAL JUDGE FOR THIS. (sighs) 6 00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:15,053 SO... NATHAN WAS BULLIED AT SCHOOL YESTERDAY. 7 00:00:15,046 --> 00:00:17,186 WHAT?! NO ONE PICKS ON MY NEPHEW. 8 00:00:17,188 --> 00:00:18,348 WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING. 9 00:00:18,349 --> 00:00:20,119 THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT, TOO, 10 00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:22,221 BUT THEN THERESA AND I TALKED ABOUT IT, 11 00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:23,393 AND SHE HELPED ME REALIZE THAT 12 00:00:23,394 --> 00:00:27,164 MY THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, AND OPINIONS WERE... WRONG. 13 00:00:27,158 --> 00:00:29,198 THAT IS A LESSON YOU KEEP LEARNING, MY FRIEND. 14 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,200 WE TOLD NATHAN THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH THE BULLY 15 00:00:31,202 --> 00:00:32,202 IS TO IGNORE HIM. 16 00:00:32,203 --> 00:00:35,173 THE HIGH ROAD IS THE GUY ROAD. 17 00:00:35,166 --> 00:00:38,406 WE ALSO TRIED TO COME UP WITH A RHYME TO MAKE IT SOUND COOL. 18 00:00:38,409 --> 00:00:40,339 YOU DID NOT SUCCEED. 19 00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:42,271 WHEN I WAS BULLIED IN SCHOOL, MY DAD MADE ME CONFRONT THE GUY, 20 00:00:42,273 --> 00:00:44,353 AND THEN THE GUY BEAT ME UP AGAIN FOR CONFRONTING HIM, 21 00:00:44,345 --> 00:00:46,115 AND SO MY DAD MADE ME CONFRONT HIM AGAIN, 22 00:00:46,117 --> 00:00:48,047 AND THEN THE GUY BEAT ME UP AGAIN, 23 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,248 AND THEN MY DAD THREW AN EMPTY BEER CAN AT ME 24 00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:51,320 FOR USING THE PHRASE "VICIOUS CYCLE." 25 00:00:51,322 --> 00:00:54,392 (whispers) CLASSIC. MY OLD MAN ALSO BELIEVED IN CONFRONTATION, 26 00:00:54,385 --> 00:00:58,125 BUT THERESA HELPED ME REALIZE THAT "IT'S A DIFFERENT AGE. 27 00:00:58,129 --> 00:01:00,289 NO NEED FOR RAGE." 28 00:01:00,291 --> 00:01:02,091 I HATE YOUR RHYMES A WHOLE DAMN BUNCH, 29 00:01:02,093 --> 00:01:08,343 SO CRAIG AND I... ARE OFF TO LUNCH. 30 00:01:08,339 --> 00:01:10,369 SO... 31 00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:14,151 I HEAR YOU GOT PICKED ON BY SOME NE'ER-DO-WELL AT SCHOOL. 32 00:01:14,145 --> 00:01:16,275 WHAT'D HE DO, LAUGH AT YOUR FUNNY GLASSES? 33 00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:19,347 YOUR GOOFY HAIRCUT? YOUR HEIGHT? THE WAY YOU TALK? 34 00:01:19,350 --> 00:01:21,380 KENNY. SORRY. 35 00:01:21,382 --> 00:01:23,352 IT WAS YOUR EARS, WASN'T IT? 36 00:01:23,354 --> 00:01:27,364 NO. HE SAID THAT I LOOKED LIKE THE IGUANA IN OUR BIOLOGY CLASS. 37 00:01:27,358 --> 00:01:29,158 THEN HE PUSHED ME DOWN. 38 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:30,390 WHOA, WHOA.WHAT? 39 00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:31,461 UNBELIEVABLE. 40 00:01:31,462 --> 00:01:33,422 YOU HAVE AN IGUANA IN YOUR BIOLOGY CLASS? 41 00:01:33,424 --> 00:01:35,174 UM, YEAH. 42 00:01:35,166 --> 00:01:36,226 ANYWAY, SO AFTER HE PUSHED ME DOWN, 43 00:01:36,227 --> 00:01:38,097 HE THREW MY BACKPACK IN THE TRASH CAN. 44 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,168 (sighs) 45 00:01:39,170 --> 00:01:40,470 COLD-BLOODED. BIG-TIME. 46 00:01:40,471 --> 00:01:42,131 I'M SAYING REPTILES ARE COLD-BLOODED. 47 00:01:42,133 --> 00:01:43,233 HAVE YOU TOUCHED THIS THING? 48 00:01:43,234 --> 00:01:45,314 I PICTURE IT SLIPPERY BUT NOT SLIMY. 49 00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:48,176 FORGET THE IGUANA. WHO IS THIS KID? 50 00:01:48,179 --> 00:01:51,109 DOESN'T MATTER WHO THE KID IS. SITUATION'S BEEN DEFUSED. (door opens and closes) 51 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,381 KID? ARE WE TRASHING A KID? 'CAUSE I WANT IN. 52 00:01:53,384 --> 00:01:55,124 THERE IS NO KID. 53 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,285 I HEARD YOU TALKING ABOUT A KID WHEN WE WALKED IN. 54 00:01:56,287 --> 00:01:57,317 MM. 55 00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:59,318 I HAVE ACUTE SENSES. (sniffs) 56 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:01,320 AND ALSO, CRAIG SWITCHED SHAMPOOS. 57 00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:04,122 MAN, I HATE BULLIES. 58 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:07,234 THEY'RE MEAN, INSENSITIVE, AND AGGRESSIVE. 59 00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:08,328 NOW WHO'S THEPUNK 60 00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:11,459 THAT SAID MY NEPHEW WALKS LIKE ADUCK?! 61 00:02:11,462 --> 00:02:13,402 ALL RIGHT, KIDS, MOMMY'S ABOUT TO FREAK OUT THE ADULTS. 62 00:02:13,404 --> 00:02:15,514 GO WAIT OUTSIDE FOR AUNT BRENDA TO TAKE YOU TO SCHOOL. 63 00:02:15,506 --> 00:02:17,506 (door opens and closes) 64 00:02:17,508 --> 00:02:19,368 LOOK, THE NAME OF THE KID IS NOT IMPORTANT, 65 00:02:19,370 --> 00:02:22,240 BUT THE MOTHER IS INCREDIBLYIMPORTANT. 66 00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:24,423 SHE IS A VERY INFLUENTIAL MEMBER OF THE SCHOOL BOARD, 67 00:02:24,415 --> 00:02:26,215 AND I NEED HER ON MY SIDE 68 00:02:26,217 --> 00:02:29,377 BECAUSE I AM LOBBYING THEM THIS WEEK TO SAVE THE SCIENCE CLUB. 69 00:02:29,380 --> 00:02:31,380 WHAT?! SCIENCE CLUB'S IN TROUBLE?! 70 00:02:31,382 --> 00:02:32,522 (gasps loudly) I'M SORRY. 71 00:02:32,523 --> 00:02:34,193 I'M TRYING TO FREAK OUT ABOUT THIS. 72 00:02:34,185 --> 00:02:35,285 I'M JUST NOT FEELING IT. 73 00:02:35,286 --> 00:02:36,456 WAIT A MINUTE. 74 00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:39,157 YOU'RE NOT SUCKING UP TO SHARON EASTERLING, ARE YOU? 75 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,289 I WOULDN'T SAY "SUCKING UP." 76 00:02:40,291 --> 00:02:42,291 I'M MERELY SHOWERING HER WITH UNNECESSARY COMPLIMENTS 77 00:02:42,293 --> 00:02:44,473 AND GIFT CARDS TO ACHIEVE MY GOALS. 78 00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:45,535 OHH, PERFECT. 79 00:02:45,536 --> 00:02:47,496 SUCKING UP, JUST LIKE HIGH SCHOOL. 80 00:02:47,498 --> 00:02:50,168 THAT'S NOT TRUE. SHARON AND I WERE FRIENDS. 81 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,340 YEAH? WELL, YOURFRIEND SPREAD THE RUMOR 82 00:02:52,343 --> 00:02:54,383 THAT I MADE OUT WITH THE SCHOOL JANITOR, 83 00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,345 AND YOU NEVER STOOD UP FOR ME. 84 00:02:56,347 --> 00:02:58,507 WELL, THE TWO OF YOU DID HAVE COLD SORES AT THE SAME TIME. 85 00:02:58,509 --> 00:03:00,509 IT WAS A COINCIDENCE. 86 00:03:00,511 --> 00:03:04,561 WE JUST BOTH MADE OUT WITH THAT FRENCH EXCHANGE STUDENT PIERRE. 87 00:03:04,555 --> 00:03:06,355 SO PEOPLE THINK YOU SLEPT 88 00:03:06,357 --> 00:03:08,487 WITH SOME SUPER OLD, BISEXUAL CUSTODIAN. 89 00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:10,389 LET ITGO. 90 00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:12,421 ISHOULD LET IT GO? DO YOU KNOW 91 00:03:12,423 --> 00:03:14,533 WHO SHARON EASTERLING IS MARRIED TO? 92 00:03:14,525 --> 00:03:16,525 AND THIS IS WHERE THE ADULTS FREAK OUT. 93 00:03:16,527 --> 00:03:18,267 DENNIS MAYDER. 94 00:03:18,269 --> 00:03:19,469 (pounds countertop) MAYDER! 95 00:03:19,470 --> 00:03:21,330 AAH! 96 00:03:21,332 --> 00:03:24,282 OH! THE BULLY'S DAD IS DENNIS MAYDER?! 97 00:03:24,275 --> 00:03:26,305 DENNIS MAYDER? 98 00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:29,377 SO THAT'S WHY YOU DIDN'T WANT TO TELL ME WHO THE DAD WAS. 99 00:03:29,380 --> 00:03:31,380 MAY I BE HONEST WITH YOU ALL? 100 00:03:31,382 --> 00:03:33,212 THERE ARE TIMES WHEN YOUR SHARED HISTORY 101 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,553 MAKES ME FEEL LIKE AN OUTSIDER. 102 00:03:34,545 --> 00:03:37,385 DENNIS MAYDER WAS THE BIGGEST JERK IN JUNIOR HIGH. 103 00:03:37,388 --> 00:03:39,248 THANK YOU. I FEEL BETTER ALREADY. YEAH. 104 00:03:39,250 --> 00:03:41,350 DENNIS WAS ALWAYS SAYING STUFF THAT GOT IN YOUR HEAD, 105 00:03:41,352 --> 00:03:44,262 LIKE--LIKE I HAD LADY HIPS 106 00:03:44,255 --> 00:03:46,225 AND THAT'S WHY I COULDN'T RUN FAST. 107 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:49,296 (whistles) 108 00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:51,230 I KNOW. IT'S INSANE. 109 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,501 CLASSIC MAYDER. 110 00:03:52,503 --> 00:03:54,373 SO THE BULLY HAD A LITTLE BULLY. 111 00:03:54,365 --> 00:03:57,305 I'M GONNA TALK TO DENNIS. IT'S TIME TO BREAK THIS CYCLE. 112 00:03:57,308 --> 00:04:00,338 YEAH, WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING-- SOMETHIN' STUPID. 113 00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:01,441 LISTEN TO ME. 114 00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:02,572 NATHAN AND THE MAYDER KID HAD A LITTLE INCIDENT, 115 00:04:02,573 --> 00:04:04,383 AND NOW IT IS OVER, AND I NEED SHARON ON MY SIDE 116 00:04:04,375 --> 00:04:06,375 BECAUSE NATHAN LOVES THAT SCIENCE CLUB. 117 00:04:06,377 --> 00:04:09,377 SONOBODYIS DOING ANYTHING. 118 00:04:09,380 --> 00:04:12,320 FINE. THAT GUY GETS TO ME. 119 00:04:12,323 --> 00:04:16,593 YOU KNOW, HE ONCE SAID THAT MY HEAD WAS, LIKE, 98% FACE. 120 00:04:16,587 --> 00:04:18,487 I KNOW. 121 00:04:18,489 --> 00:04:21,429 IT'S INSANE. 122 00:04:21,432 --> 00:04:23,632 TARGET ACQUIRED. 123 00:04:23,634 --> 00:04:26,274 I'M GONNA GO SCARE THE HELL OUT OF THAT KID. 124 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,596 I'M GONNA GO TOUCH THAT IGUANA. 125 00:04:28,599 --> 00:04:30,269 (imitates explosion) 126 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,370 (children yelling playfully) 127 00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:32,442 (Kenny) HEY! 128 00:04:33,644 --> 00:04:37,414 YOU D.J. MAYDER? THE KID THAT BULLIED NATHAN KEEN? 129 00:04:37,408 --> 00:04:39,408 YEAH. HE'S MY NEPHEW. 130 00:04:39,410 --> 00:04:41,480 OH, I SEE WHERE HE GETS HIS GIANT EARS FROM. 131 00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,452 YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR MOUTH, PUNK. 132 00:04:43,454 --> 00:04:44,494 OR WHAT? 133 00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:47,355 OR MAYBE I WATCH ITFORYOU. 134 00:04:47,358 --> 00:04:50,358 YOU WANNA STARE AT MY MOUTH? WHAT KIND OF A PERSON ARE YOU? 135 00:04:50,361 --> 00:04:52,321 WHAT? NO! YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 136 00:04:52,323 --> 00:04:54,403 WHAT, THAT YOU'RE GONNA HIT ME? 137 00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:55,625 UH, MAYBE! 138 00:04:55,626 --> 00:04:57,366 I'M A KID. 139 00:04:57,368 --> 00:04:59,498 YOU TOUCH ME, YOU GO RIGHT TO JAIL. 140 00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:02,400 COME ON.DOSOMETHIN'. 141 00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:04,303 DO SOMETHIN'! 142 00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:10,539 I'M GONNA TOUCH YOU. 143 00:05:10,541 --> 00:05:13,381 I'M SORRY. CAN I HELP YOU? 144 00:05:13,384 --> 00:05:16,494 OH, NO, I JUST CAME TO, UH-- OH, YOU MUST BE BRANDON'S DAD. 145 00:05:16,487 --> 00:05:18,487 I'M SORRY. DID YOU NOT GET MY MESSAGE? 146 00:05:18,489 --> 00:05:21,489 I HAD TO CANCEL OUR MEETING TODAY. I HAVE JUST BEEN SWAMPED. 147 00:05:21,492 --> 00:05:23,422 NO, NO. I JUST--I WAS-- I'D LOVE TO FIND SOME TIME 148 00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:26,404 WHEN YOU AND I CAN SIT AND TALK ABOUT BRANDON. 149 00:05:26,397 --> 00:05:28,327 HE'S BEEN A LITTLE QUIET IN CLASS LATELY, 150 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:31,628 PROBABLY BECAUSE OF... YOUR DIVORCE. 151 00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:33,602 (chuckles) LOOK, I GOTTA BE HONEST WITH YOU, 152 00:05:33,604 --> 00:05:35,374 UM... 153 00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:41,407 THIS DIVORCE HAS BEEN HARD ON ALL OF US. 154 00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,415 I JUST MET THE CUTEST TEACHER, 155 00:05:46,417 --> 00:05:49,417 AND SHE AND I ARE GOING TO DINNER TOGETHER. 156 00:05:49,420 --> 00:05:52,650 ALSO, I HAVE A SON NAMED BRANDON AND HE'S STRUGGLING. 157 00:05:54,385 --> 00:05:55,455 (seat belt clicks) 158 00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:57,386 YOU OKAY? 159 00:05:57,388 --> 00:05:59,458 THAT MAYDER KID IS SO MEAN. 160 00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:00,730 HE SAID I LOVE TURDS. 161 00:06:00,731 --> 00:06:03,361 BUT YOU HATE TURDS. 162 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,643 I KNOW! 163 00:06:04,635 --> 00:06:08,365 SO THAT ALSO MAKES HIM ALIAR! (starts engine) 164 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,368 (tires peal) 165 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,540 HEY. WHERE'S MOM? 166 00:06:12,543 --> 00:06:13,603 OH, SHE'S JUST INSIDE, 167 00:06:13,604 --> 00:06:16,614 HANGING FLIERS FOR THAT, UH, SCHOOL BOARD THING. 168 00:06:16,607 --> 00:06:20,447 SO TELL ME, HOW WAS IT TODAY? DID D.J. PICK ON YOU? 169 00:06:20,451 --> 00:06:21,581 NO, IT WAS FINE. 170 00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,452 HE EVEN APOLOGIZED TO ME AFTER CLASS. 171 00:06:23,454 --> 00:06:25,524 I THINK MOM CALLED HIS MOM OR SOMETHING. 172 00:06:25,516 --> 00:06:28,456 OKAY. WELL, SEE? 173 00:06:28,459 --> 00:06:29,689 THE HIGH ROAD IS THE GUY-- (smack) 174 00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:31,690 (ball bouncing) WHAT THE HELL? 175 00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:33,562 OH, I'M SORRY. ONE OF MY BALLS HIT YOUR FACE. 176 00:06:33,564 --> 00:06:35,734 YOU WANNA HAVE YOUR WIFE CALL MY WIFE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT? 177 00:06:35,726 --> 00:06:37,666 DENNIS MAYDER. 178 00:06:37,668 --> 00:06:38,768 UH-HUH, THAT'S RIGHT. 179 00:06:38,769 --> 00:06:40,629 AND DENNIS MAYDER WOULD APPRECIATE 180 00:06:40,631 --> 00:06:43,431 IF IN THE FUTURE OUR KIDS HAVE A PROBLEM, 181 00:06:43,434 --> 00:06:45,444 YOU CALL ME DIRECTLY, DEAL WITH IT LIKE A MAN. 182 00:06:45,436 --> 00:06:48,506 WHAT'S UP, BUDDY? I GOT NO BEEF WITH YOU, OKAY? 183 00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:50,539 HERE'S A JUICE BOX. 184 00:06:50,541 --> 00:06:52,481 THIS ISN'T JUICE. 185 00:06:52,483 --> 00:06:54,793 THIS IS JUICE DRINK. AND WE PREFER NATHAN DOESN'T 186 00:06:54,785 --> 00:06:56,545 HAVE THESE TYPES OF SUGARY BEVERAGES 187 00:06:56,547 --> 00:06:58,717 UNLESS IT'S A SPECIAL OCCASION. 188 00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:00,489 (juice box thuds) GOOD ONE, DAD. 189 00:07:00,491 --> 00:07:03,491 HEY, ANYBODY EVER TELL YOU, YOU LOOK LIKE CURIOUS GEORGE? 190 00:07:03,494 --> 00:07:05,734 OH! REALLY? (mouths words) 191 00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:08,426 WELL, DID ANYBODY EVER TELLYOU...THAT... 192 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:12,458 THAT THE HIGH ROAD IS THE GUY ROAD? 193 00:07:12,463 --> 00:07:13,533 HEY, D-MAN. 194 00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:14,674 OOH. GIVE A HUG, LADY BUG. 195 00:07:14,665 --> 00:07:15,765 MMM. 196 00:07:15,766 --> 00:07:17,706 OOH. 197 00:07:17,708 --> 00:07:21,538 GIVE A SMOOCH, LADY... POOCH. 198 00:07:24,775 --> 00:07:26,545 OKAY. 199 00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,647 GUESS WHO I RAN INTO AND INVITED OVER FOR DINNER TOMORROW 200 00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:30,619 TO TALK ABOUT SCIENCE CLUB? 201 00:07:30,621 --> 00:07:31,821 REMEMBER HOW IMPORTANT THAT IS TO NATHAN, 202 00:07:31,822 --> 00:07:34,592 BECAUSE HE LOVES SCIENCE? AND TO ME? 203 00:07:34,585 --> 00:07:35,685 AND YOU'RE GOING TO DO IT? 204 00:07:35,686 --> 00:07:38,556 OR MAYBE WE DECIDE TO GO IN ANOTHER DIRECTION? 205 00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:43,659 AND THEN WE CIRCLE BACK AND DO EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANNA DO? 206 00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:45,544 I'M IN. 207 00:07:45,536 --> 00:07:48,536 (Dennis, Sharon, and Theresa laugh) 208 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,605 IT'S NOT THAT BRANDON'S NOT A GOOD BOY. 209 00:07:57,608 --> 00:07:59,548 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? HE'S THE BEST, THAT KID. 210 00:07:59,550 --> 00:08:01,110 OHH! I LOVE HIM. 211 00:08:01,111 --> 00:08:04,181 I THINK HE'S JUST HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE RIGHT NOW. 212 00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,094 YEAH, WE'RE ALL HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE RIGHT NOW. 213 00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:08,116 FOR HIM, IT'S FOCUSING ON HIS SCHOOLWORK. 214 00:08:08,118 --> 00:08:10,558 FOR ME, IT'S HAVING NO ONE THERE TO BAKE BREAD FOR, 215 00:08:10,561 --> 00:08:12,621 LOOK AT A SUNSET WITH, 216 00:08:12,623 --> 00:08:15,203 LIE NEXT TO BY A CRACKLING FIRE. 217 00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:16,565 REALLY? YOU BAKE YOUR OWN BREAD? 218 00:08:16,567 --> 00:08:19,567 WELL, IT'S A HOBBY OF MINE. I HAVE A FEW. 219 00:08:19,570 --> 00:08:21,570 I PLAY SOME INSTRUMENTS, ORGANIC GARDENING, 220 00:08:21,572 --> 00:08:23,202 ALWAYS FIX ANYTHING AROUND THE HOUSE RIGHT AWAY 221 00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:25,113 IF IT BREAKS. 222 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:28,505 YOU'RE A FASCINATING MAN, BRUCE. 223 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,538 PLEASE, CALL ME CRAIG. 224 00:08:30,541 --> 00:08:32,241 WHY? 225 00:08:32,242 --> 00:08:35,252 IT'S A NICKNAME. 226 00:08:35,245 --> 00:08:38,585 SO THEN MAYDER TELLS ME-- GET THIS-- 227 00:08:38,589 --> 00:08:40,549 THAT I LOOK LIKE CURIOUS GEORGE. 228 00:08:41,592 --> 00:08:44,152 I KNOW. IT'S INSANE. 229 00:08:44,154 --> 00:08:45,704 AND NOW I HAVE TO HAVE DINNER WITH THIS GUY. 230 00:08:45,696 --> 00:08:47,656 I SWEAR, IF THERESA DIDN'T NEED 231 00:08:47,658 --> 00:08:50,198 THIS SCHOOL BOARD THING TO GO WELL, I WOULD DECK HIM. 232 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:52,630 YOU KNOW WHO I'D DECK? THAT BASTARD KID OF HIS. 233 00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:54,203 THE BABY? 234 00:08:54,204 --> 00:08:58,144 NO, NOT THE BABY. D.J.--DUMB JERK. 235 00:08:58,138 --> 00:08:59,608 OH, I SHOULD HAVE SAID THAT! 236 00:08:59,610 --> 00:09:01,610 I HAVE A SUGGESTION. 237 00:09:01,612 --> 00:09:04,542 IT SEEMS THAT DENNIS TRIES TO GET THE BEST OF YOU WITH HIS... 238 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:08,554 RIDICULOUSLY UNTRUE COMMENTS ABOUT YOUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE. 239 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,578 MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY TO DEFEAT HIM 240 00:09:10,581 --> 00:09:12,721 BY USING HIS ENERGY AGAINST HIM. 241 00:09:12,723 --> 00:09:15,163 WOW. THAT'S PRETTY DEEP. 242 00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:16,555 IS THAT SOME SORT OF EASTERN THING? 243 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:19,686 YES. I LEARNED IT FROM A SHERPA NAMED MOMO. 244 00:09:19,690 --> 00:09:21,160 HUH. 245 00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:22,631 HE CUTS THE GRASS AT MY APARTMENT BUILDING. 246 00:09:22,633 --> 00:09:26,243 WILL, IF YOU AGREE WITH WHATEVER DENNIS SAYS, 247 00:09:26,236 --> 00:09:29,696 YOU WILL DULL HIS MAIN ATTACK BLADE, RENDERING HIM IMPOTENT. 248 00:09:29,700 --> 00:09:32,700 USE HIS ENERGY AGAINST HIM... 249 00:09:32,703 --> 00:09:35,283 THAT MAKES SENSE! 250 00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:40,245 GENTLEMEN, TONIGHT I AM GONNA MAKE A MAN IMPOTENT. 251 00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:41,710 (door closes) 252 00:09:41,712 --> 00:09:43,652 (sighs) AND, KENNY? 253 00:09:43,654 --> 00:09:46,194 YOU NEED TO GET REVENGE ON THAT KID. 254 00:09:47,217 --> 00:09:48,757 SERIOUSLY? 255 00:09:48,759 --> 00:09:50,259 (laughs) YES! 256 00:09:50,260 --> 00:09:52,220 BUT YOU JUST SAID THAT WILL SHOULD-- 257 00:09:52,222 --> 00:09:54,262 NO, KENNY AND WILL'S PATHS ARE DIFFERENT. 258 00:09:54,264 --> 00:09:56,774 WILL'S IS THE HIGH ROAD. KENNY'S IS THE LOW ROAD. 259 00:09:56,767 --> 00:09:59,667 MY PHILOSOPHY IS DO WHATYOUNEED TO DO TO HEAL. 260 00:09:59,670 --> 00:10:02,700 SEEMS LIKE YOUR PHILOSOPHY JUST LETS YOU DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. 261 00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:05,743 I ASK THE UNIVERSE, AND THE UNIVERSE ANSWERS. 262 00:10:05,736 --> 00:10:07,206 SEE, THAT JUST SOUNDS LIKE 263 00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:08,677 YOU'RE DESCRIBING THE PROCESS OF THINKING. 264 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:11,339 WHO CARES? HE JUST GAVE ME THE GREEN LIGHT FOR REVENGE. 265 00:10:11,341 --> 00:10:12,711 OKAY. 266 00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:15,223 WHAT DOES YOUR PHILOSOPHY SAY ABOUT LYING TO A WOMAN YOU LIKE 267 00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:16,285 ABOUT BEING THE FATHER OF A CHILD 268 00:10:16,286 --> 00:10:17,646 WHO'S GOING THROUGH A BRUTAL DIVORCE 269 00:10:17,648 --> 00:10:19,348 ANDMAKING HER THINK YOU'RE THE SECOND COUSIN 270 00:10:19,349 --> 00:10:21,219 OF THAT REALLY GOOD-LOOKING, SLEEPY, PALE GUY 271 00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:22,391 FROM THE "TWILIGHT" MOVIES? 272 00:10:22,392 --> 00:10:25,362 THE UNIVERSE WILL NOT STAND IN THE WAY OF WHAT THE HEART WANTS. 273 00:10:25,355 --> 00:10:29,625 I LIKE THIS UNIVERSE. ALL RIGHT. KENNY, WHAT'S THE PLAN? 274 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,699 ALL RIGHT, GENTLEMEN, I GOT FOUR WORDS FOR YOU-- 275 00:10:31,702 --> 00:10:34,772 TOY, LET, PAY, PER. 276 00:10:34,765 --> 00:10:36,705 TOY, LET, PAY, PER. 277 00:10:36,707 --> 00:10:38,707 TOY, LET, PAY, PER. 278 00:10:38,709 --> 00:10:40,239 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. 279 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:41,310 TOILET PAPER. 280 00:10:41,311 --> 00:10:43,341 OH. IT'S TWO WORDS. 281 00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:45,783 WE ARE GOING TO TOILET PAPER THIS PUNK'S HOUSE... 282 00:10:45,776 --> 00:10:48,316 DOUBLE PLY. (cackles) 283 00:10:48,318 --> 00:10:49,778 ACTUALLY, THAT'S MORE EXPENSIVE. 284 00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:54,790 SINGLE PLY. (cackles) 285 00:10:56,426 --> 00:10:57,756 THANKS AGAIN FOR DOING THIS DINNER. 286 00:10:57,758 --> 00:10:59,258 IT'LL ONLY BE A COUPLE HOURS. 287 00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:00,829 JUST BE KIND, DON'T LET HIM GET TO YOU-- 288 00:11:00,831 --> 00:11:04,661 HONEY, THE LONGER WE TALK, THE LONGER THE DRUMMING GOES ON. 289 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,744 "HOT FOR TEACHER." ALEX VAN HALEN. IN YOUR FACE. 290 00:11:07,738 --> 00:11:08,738 HI. HELLO. 291 00:11:08,739 --> 00:11:09,839 COME ON IN. 292 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:11,740 HEY. HERE YOU GO. 293 00:11:11,742 --> 00:11:13,702 I WAS GONNA BRING BANANAS, BUT I FIGURED 294 00:11:13,704 --> 00:11:16,684 YOU GOT PLENTY OF THOSE FROM THE MAN WITH THE YELLOW HAT. 295 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,306 (chuckles) THAT'S CLEVER, DENNIS. 296 00:11:18,308 --> 00:11:22,278 BUT I WAS LOOKING IN THE MIRROR EARLIER, AND YOU KNOW WHAT? 297 00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:24,682 IDOLOOK LIKE CURIOUS GEORGE. 298 00:11:26,356 --> 00:11:27,686 OH. 299 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,387 WELL, YEAH, YOU DO. 300 00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:34,320 ANYWAY, MIGHT WANT TO LET THAT MERLOT BREATHE, NERD. 301 00:11:44,374 --> 00:11:46,784 ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP. WE ARE IN TOILET PAPER MODE. 302 00:11:46,777 --> 00:11:48,877 THREE ROLLS TO A TREE, KEEP THE BUNCHING TO A MINIMUM, 303 00:11:48,879 --> 00:11:50,839 WE'RE IN, WE'RE OUT, STAY FOCUSED, NO DISTRACTIONS. 304 00:11:50,841 --> 00:11:55,391 DUDE, CHECK IT OUT. DENNIS HAS A SICK MAN CAVE. 305 00:11:55,385 --> 00:11:56,785 OHH. 306 00:11:58,418 --> 00:11:59,788 ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP. WE ARE IN MAN CAVE MODE. 307 00:11:59,790 --> 00:12:01,390 WE'RE GONNA PLAY SOME VIDEO GAMES, 308 00:12:01,391 --> 00:12:02,451 HAVE A COUPLE BEERS, AND THEN WE'RE OUT OF THERE. 309 00:12:02,452 --> 00:12:03,852 STAY FOCUSED, NO DISTRACTIONS. 310 00:12:03,854 --> 00:12:04,864 (thud) LET'S GO. 311 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:10,856 IT'S JUST, SCIENCE CLUB IS SO IMPORTANT TO MY SON, 312 00:12:10,861 --> 00:12:13,901 AND IT'S CHANGED LIVES. IN FACT, DO YOU REMEMBER BRENDA CUTTY? 313 00:12:13,904 --> 00:12:17,814 YOU MEAN "SLUTTY CUTTY"? "THE LEGEND OF BIG-SLUT"? 314 00:12:17,808 --> 00:12:18,838 (laughs) 315 00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:22,509 RIGHT. YOU USED TO CALL HER THAT. 316 00:12:22,512 --> 00:12:25,782 WELL, SHE WAS SO INSPIRED BY SCIENCE CLUB 317 00:12:25,776 --> 00:12:28,476 THAT NOW SHE'S A REGISTERED NURSE. 318 00:12:28,478 --> 00:12:31,478 REMEMBER WHEN SHE GOT THAT COLD SORE FROM RUDY, 319 00:12:31,481 --> 00:12:33,781 THAT SUPER OLD JANITOR WHO LIKED TO SWEEP 320 00:12:33,784 --> 00:12:36,494 ON BOTH SIDES OF THE HALLWAY, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 321 00:12:36,486 --> 00:12:37,756 YES! 322 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:40,457 (both laugh) 323 00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:42,490 THAT WAS SO FUNNY. 324 00:12:42,492 --> 00:12:43,792 SO... 325 00:12:43,794 --> 00:12:45,474 IS YOUR MOM STILL A FATTY? 326 00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:46,835 HUGE. 327 00:12:46,837 --> 00:12:50,397 SHE'S SO FAT, WHEN SHE CUTS HERSELF, GRAVY COMES OUT. 328 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,770 OKAY. THAT WAS MINE. I WAS GONNA SAY THAT. 329 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,772 (chuckles) YEAH. 330 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:55,954 WHY ARE YOU GRINNING? 331 00:12:55,946 --> 00:12:58,946 I'M HAVING A SURPRISINGLY GOOD TIME TONIGHT. HMM. 332 00:12:58,949 --> 00:13:02,509 UH, THEN IT WOULDN'T ANNOY YOU 333 00:13:02,512 --> 00:13:04,822 IF I MAKE A LITTLE DOCUMENTARY... (beep) 334 00:13:04,815 --> 00:13:09,455 ABOUT YOUR LAME HOUSE AND YOUR PASTY FACE? 335 00:13:09,459 --> 00:13:12,789 OOH, AND ALL THESE STUPID BASKETS. 336 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,872 ARE THESE BASKETS WHERE YOU KEEP ALL YOUR UNREALIZED DREAMS? 337 00:13:14,865 --> 00:13:17,825 YEAH. I HAVEN'T ACHIEVED ANYTHING I SET OUT TO DO. 338 00:13:17,828 --> 00:13:19,468 I'M PRETTY MUCH A FAILURE. 339 00:13:19,469 --> 00:13:21,869 SO HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR MEAT, DENNIS? 340 00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:24,403 CHEF'S CHOICE. 341 00:13:25,876 --> 00:13:29,436 IT WAS AMAZING. GRANT'S ADVICE WORKED PERFECTLY. 342 00:13:29,439 --> 00:13:31,409 IT DROVE DENNIS CRAZY. 343 00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:32,541 LET ME ASK YOU TWO SOMETHING. 344 00:13:32,542 --> 00:13:34,952 DO YOU THINK WE HAVE TOO MANY BASKETS IN OUR KITCHEN? 345 00:13:34,945 --> 00:13:37,415 I'M NOT GONNA LIE TO YOU. YOU GOT A LOT OF BASKETS. 346 00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:38,947 IT'S LIKE EASTER SUNDAY IN THERE. 347 00:13:38,949 --> 00:13:40,549 BUT GUESS WHAT WE DID LAST NIGHT? 348 00:13:40,550 --> 00:13:43,890 WE WENT OVER TO DENNIS' WITH 144 ROLLS OF TOILET PAPER... 349 00:13:43,894 --> 00:13:47,864 (cackles) AND THEN WE GOT DISTRACTED. 350 00:13:47,858 --> 00:13:49,958 (dance music playing) LEFT FOOT, LEFT FOOT, LEFT FOOT, RIGHT, RIGHT, 351 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:52,830 CROSS, CROSS, CROSS, CROSS, CROSS... 352 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,432 YOU GUYS SNUCK IN THERE? 353 00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:55,914 YEAH, WE WERE TOTALLY INEFFECTIVE. 354 00:13:55,906 --> 00:13:57,506 BUT DON'T WORRY. WE'RE GOING BACK TONIGHT. 355 00:13:57,507 --> 00:13:58,937 NOT TO T.P., THOUGH. 356 00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:00,539 HE'S GOT A BLU-RAY PLAYER, SO WE'RE GONNA WATCH A MOVIE. 357 00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:01,610 MAYBE "MONSTERS, INC." 358 00:14:01,611 --> 00:14:02,611 OOH. 359 00:14:02,612 --> 00:14:03,612 (computer alert chimes) 360 00:14:03,613 --> 00:14:04,923 OH. (typing) 361 00:14:04,915 --> 00:14:07,445 UGH. E-MAIL FROM DENNIS. 362 00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:11,977 "HEY, BASKETS, DINNER SUCKED. I POSTED THIS ONLINE." 363 00:14:11,982 --> 00:14:15,892 (dance music playing) 364 00:14:15,886 --> 00:14:18,486 I LOVE YOUR MEAT. I LOVE YOUR MEAT. 365 00:14:18,488 --> 00:14:20,558 LOVE--LOVE--I LOVE YOUR MEAT. 366 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:23,990 MEAT--MEAT--MEAT-- MEAT--MEAT--MEAT--I'M A DOUCHE. 367 00:14:23,994 --> 00:14:25,474 WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? 368 00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:26,595 I'VE NEVER PLEASED A WOMAN. 369 00:14:26,596 --> 00:14:28,896 NO! I-I WAS NEUTRALIZING HIM, 370 00:14:28,899 --> 00:14:31,599 I WAS DULLING HIS BLADE LIKE GRANT TOLD ME TO. 371 00:14:31,601 --> 00:14:33,541 OH, IT'S GOOD MEAT, WILL. 372 00:14:33,543 --> 00:14:35,553 HERE, TRY A PIECE, LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. 373 00:14:35,545 --> 00:14:37,505 MMM. 374 00:14:37,507 --> 00:14:39,607 THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT. THIS IS WAR. 375 00:14:39,609 --> 00:14:42,049 HE HAS NO IDEA WHO HE'S DEALING WITH. 376 00:14:42,052 --> 00:14:44,482 I'M A TINY LITTLE GIRL. TINY--TINY-- 377 00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:46,894 I'M A TINY LITTLE GIRL. IT'S A LITTLE BASKET! 378 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:50,916 TISKET--TASKET--BASKET! TISKET--TASKET--BAS-- 379 00:14:56,366 --> 00:14:59,366 (TV playing indistinctly) 380 00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:03,131 I FEEL WEIRD ABOUT THIS. 381 00:15:03,133 --> 00:15:04,333 WHAT? THE GUYS? THEY'RE NOT WATCHING. 382 00:15:04,334 --> 00:15:07,444 I JUST FEEL LIKE WE SHOULD TELL BRANDON THAT WE'RE DATING. 383 00:15:07,437 --> 00:15:09,137 NO, NO, IT'S FINE. 384 00:15:09,139 --> 00:15:10,209 IN FACT, LAST NIGHT, 385 00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:11,440 I WAS TUCKING THAT LITTLE RASCAL INTO BED. 386 00:15:11,441 --> 00:15:14,511 HE SAYS TO ME, "DADDY, I RECOGNIZE THAT YOU HAVE NEEDS. 387 00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:16,494 "YOU CAN DATE WHOEVER YOU WANT. 388 00:15:16,486 --> 00:15:19,216 I JUST DON'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT." 389 00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:21,289 SHALL WE? 390 00:15:31,301 --> 00:15:33,361 THEN WE DID THIS, THEN WE DID THIS, 391 00:15:33,363 --> 00:15:34,533 THEN WE ALMOST GOT THE HIGH SCORE, 392 00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:36,374 BUT THEN WE DIDN'T. 393 00:15:36,366 --> 00:15:38,506 YOU MIGHT WANT TO RECONSIDER CALLING THAT A STORY. 394 00:15:38,508 --> 00:15:41,208 WE ALSO ALL TOOK TURNS SITTING IN HIS MASSAGE CHAIR. 395 00:15:41,211 --> 00:15:42,471 YOU WANT TO HEAR THAT STORY? 396 00:15:42,472 --> 00:15:44,312 I THINK I JUST DID. 397 00:15:44,314 --> 00:15:46,454 AW, THANKS FOR COMING TO SUPPORT ME, GUYS. 398 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,316 SO WHEN I TALK ABOUT SCIENCE CLUB, 399 00:15:48,318 --> 00:15:50,218 I NEED EVERYBODY NODDING, 400 00:15:50,220 --> 00:15:52,380 AN OCCASIONAL WHOOP. (men) WHOOP! 401 00:15:52,382 --> 00:15:53,522 OH! THAT WAS GOOD. 402 00:15:53,523 --> 00:15:56,333 THEN, BRENDA, YOU STAND UP WHEN I TALK ABOUT 403 00:15:56,326 --> 00:15:58,556 HOW IT INFLUENCED YOU TO BECOME A NURSE. 404 00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:00,258 SCIENCE CLUB? (men) WHOOP! 405 00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:02,390 I HATED SCIENCE CLUB. (men) WHOOP! 406 00:16:02,392 --> 00:16:03,532 I WAS SURROUNDED BY NERD VIRGINS 407 00:16:03,533 --> 00:16:06,303 WHO'D RATHER TOUCH A DEAD FROG THAN A LIVE GIRL. 408 00:16:06,296 --> 00:16:07,366 HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN DENNIS YET? 409 00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:08,537 WILL, WILL, WILL. 410 00:16:08,538 --> 00:16:10,198 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 411 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,340 I'VE HAD IT, THERESA. YOU SAW THE REMIX. 412 00:16:12,342 --> 00:16:13,542 IT'S SOME STUPID VIDEO. 413 00:16:13,543 --> 00:16:17,453 LOOK, I KNOW THIS IS HARD, BUT PLEASE, FOR ME, 414 00:16:17,447 --> 00:16:19,577 DON'T SAY ANYTHING UNTIL AFTER THE MEETING. 415 00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:23,379 THIS IS BIGGER THAN ANY OF US. IT'S SCIENCE CLUB. 416 00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:24,413 (men) WHOOP! 417 00:16:24,414 --> 00:16:26,424 (whispers) THANKS, GUYS. 418 00:16:26,416 --> 00:16:28,256 (amplified voice) AND WHILE I KNOW MONEY'S TIGHT, 419 00:16:28,258 --> 00:16:30,388 KEEPING KIDS EXCITED ABOUT SCIENCE 420 00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:33,290 IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS A SCHOOL CAN DO. 421 00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:35,473 (murmuring) (man) THAT'S RIGHT. 422 00:16:35,465 --> 00:16:38,225 (clears throat, amplified voice) HI. I'M DENNIS MAYDER. 423 00:16:38,228 --> 00:16:39,598 I'D LIKE TO MAKE A COUNTER-PROPOSAL. 424 00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:42,299 I BELIEVE THESE FUNDS SHOULD GO TOWARD 425 00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:44,472 STOCKING THE CAFETERIA WITH MORE MEAT. 426 00:16:44,474 --> 00:16:49,244 I HAPPEN TO KNOW THERE'S SOMEONE HERE WHO REALLY LIKES MEAT. 427 00:16:49,239 --> 00:16:51,479 OKAY. GETTING BACK TO THE TOPIC... 428 00:16:51,481 --> 00:16:53,511 I WOULD JUST LIKE TO POINT OUT 429 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:57,423 MY FRIEND BRENDA HAYDEN WAS SO INFLUENCED BY SCIENCE CLUB... 430 00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,317 (both) WHOOP! THAT SHE BECAME A NURSE. 431 00:16:59,319 --> 00:17:01,289 MM-HMM. (under breath) I HEARD SHE BECAME A NURSE 432 00:17:01,291 --> 00:17:03,451 FOR THE FREE ANTIBIOTICS. 433 00:17:03,453 --> 00:17:07,463 EVERY DAY AFTER SCHOOL YOU COULD FIND BRENDA IN SCIENCE CLUB. 434 00:17:07,457 --> 00:17:11,257 (Kenny, Craig, and Grant) WHOOP! YEAH, TRYING TO FIND A CURE FOR CUSTODIAN HERPES. (laughs) 435 00:17:11,261 --> 00:17:12,601 (clears throat) 436 00:17:13,603 --> 00:17:15,473 I'M SORRY, SHARON. 437 00:17:15,465 --> 00:17:17,535 IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, WHY DON'T YOU SAY IT OUT LOUD 438 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:20,337 INSTEAD OF MUTTERING IT LIKE AN OVERGROWN 15-YEAR-OLD? 439 00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:22,340 (all) OOH. 440 00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:25,352 (clears throat) UH, I'D LIKE TO MAKE A MOTION 441 00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:26,615 THAT WILL KEEN CONTROL HIS HUSBAND. 442 00:17:26,616 --> 00:17:29,416 (all) OOH. LOOK, I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE. 443 00:17:29,419 --> 00:17:31,619 I'M JUST VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT THE SCIENCE CLUB... 444 00:17:31,621 --> 00:17:33,421 WHOOP! AND VERY FRUSTRATED. 445 00:17:33,423 --> 00:17:35,593 UH, YOU'VE GOT A PASSIONATE, FRUSTRATED WOMAN THERE, WILL. 446 00:17:35,585 --> 00:17:38,525 THAT'S TELLING ME YOU'RE NOT GETTING THE JOB DONE. 447 00:17:38,528 --> 00:17:39,628 (laughter) 448 00:17:39,629 --> 00:17:42,529 (normal voice, sighs) SCREW THIS. 449 00:17:42,532 --> 00:17:45,302 YOU WANT TO GO AFTER THAT GUY, DO IT. 450 00:17:45,295 --> 00:17:47,295 I'LL FIND A DIFFERENT WAY TO FUND SCIENCE CLUB. 451 00:17:47,297 --> 00:17:48,597 (Kenny, Craig, and Grant) WHOOP! 452 00:17:48,598 --> 00:17:51,368 (amplified voice) AND ANOTHER THING, SHARON-- 453 00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:52,501 BRENDA DIDN'T MAKE OUT WITH THAT JANITOR. 454 00:17:52,502 --> 00:17:55,412 THEY ACCIDENTALLY SHARED A FRENCH LOVER. 455 00:17:55,405 --> 00:17:58,605 THAT'S HOW SHE GOT MOUTH HERPES. (inhales and exhales sharply) 456 00:18:01,651 --> 00:18:04,511 (lowered voice) I'M SORRY I DIDN'T DEFEND YOU 20 YEARS AGO. 457 00:18:04,514 --> 00:18:08,394 AND EVEN MORE SORRY HOW I WORDED YOUR DEFENSE JUST NOW. 458 00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:12,418 THAT'S OKAY. ALL I EVER WANTED WAS FOR YOU TO GO TO BAT FOR ME. 459 00:18:12,422 --> 00:18:14,662 NOW I'LL NEVER WANT THAT AGAIN. 460 00:18:14,664 --> 00:18:17,334 (microphone feedback whines) (amplified voice) I'D LIKE TO GET THIS BACK ON TOPIC. 461 00:18:17,327 --> 00:18:20,467 IF WE DO FUND THE SCIENCE CLUB, THE FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS 462 00:18:20,470 --> 00:18:22,670 SHOULD BE BUYING A MORE POWERFUL MICROSCOPE 463 00:18:22,672 --> 00:18:25,612 SO DENNIS MAYDER CAN FINALLY FIND HIS WIENER. 464 00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:27,535 (jeers and laughter) 465 00:18:27,537 --> 00:18:29,407 WHOOP! (banging table) 466 00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:31,409 I THINK WE SHOULD SPEND MORE MONEY ON CHEERLEADING, 467 00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:33,511 AND WILL WOULD MAKE A GREAT ANCHOR FOR THE PYRAMID 468 00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:35,423 BECAUSE OF HIS LADY HIPS. 469 00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:36,585 (laughter) 470 00:18:36,586 --> 00:18:39,386 I'M SURPRISED DENNIS DOESN'T SUPPORT THE SCIENCE CLUB 471 00:18:39,389 --> 00:18:43,349 SO HE CAN BUILD A TIME MACHINE, GO BACK TO 1991, 472 00:18:43,353 --> 00:18:44,553 AND NOT GET CAUGHT SMACKING TAFFY 473 00:18:44,554 --> 00:18:46,434 AT RICHIE TIZZARD'S SLEEPOVER. 474 00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:47,726 (laughter) 475 00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:49,627 DUDE, WE WERE ALL AWAKE. 476 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,429 SHUT UP, RICHIE! 477 00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:53,631 I'M SORRY, FOLKS, UH, DENNIS IS A LITTLE FLUSTERED TONIGHT, 478 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:54,733 JUST LIKE WHEN HE FUMBLED 479 00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:57,374 THE GAME-WINNING TOUCHDOWN AGAINST GRANDVIEW. 480 00:18:57,367 --> 00:18:58,707 (crowd) OOH. 481 00:18:58,708 --> 00:19:00,568 (woman) HO HO HO. OH, SNAP. 482 00:19:00,570 --> 00:19:02,570 I DIDN'T FUMBLE THAT. MY KNEE WAS DOWN. 483 00:19:02,572 --> 00:19:05,552 YEAH, YOUR KNEE WAS DOWN A LOT THAT SEASON, AS I REMEMBER. 484 00:19:05,545 --> 00:19:07,545 (crowd) OHH! 485 00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:10,447 THAT'S IT. YOU'RE DEAD. RICHIE, GET THIS BABY OFF ME. 486 00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:11,480 COME ON. UNSNAP IT. 487 00:19:11,481 --> 00:19:13,381 THERE'S A PLASTIC "V" RIGHT IN MY BACK. 488 00:19:13,383 --> 00:19:14,753 JUST UNHOOK IT RIGHT NOW. COME ON. GET IT OFF ME. 489 00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:16,634 DUDE, THERE'S NO "V." 490 00:19:16,626 --> 00:19:17,726 YOU CAN DO IT, RICHIE. 491 00:19:17,727 --> 00:19:20,387 IT'S THE SAME WAY YOU TAKE OFF HIS BRA. 492 00:19:20,390 --> 00:19:21,430 (laughter) 493 00:19:21,431 --> 00:19:22,731 WHOO! 494 00:19:22,732 --> 00:19:25,472 OKAY, THAT'S IT. I'M FIGHTING HIM WITH THE BABY ON. 495 00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:26,595 LET'S GO! 496 00:19:26,596 --> 00:19:28,396 (man) WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 497 00:19:28,398 --> 00:19:29,468 TAKE IT EASY, BUDDY. AAH. 498 00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:31,499 COME ON. LET'S GO. 499 00:19:31,501 --> 00:19:32,701 (amplified voice) AND I'D LIKE TO ADD 500 00:19:32,702 --> 00:19:35,582 THAT DENNIS' KID IS A BUTT-MUNCH, 501 00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:36,605 AND HE SHOULD BE BREADED 502 00:19:36,606 --> 00:19:38,776 AND FRIED AND EATEN BY CANNIBALS! 503 00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:40,748 (crowd gasps) WHAT?! 504 00:19:40,750 --> 00:19:42,650 NOT THE BABY, THE OLDER ONE. 505 00:19:42,652 --> 00:19:44,452 (crowd) OHH. 506 00:19:44,454 --> 00:19:46,524 HA! (applause) 507 00:19:46,516 --> 00:19:48,586 (laughs) 508 00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:50,418 HI, HONEY. 509 00:19:50,420 --> 00:19:51,490 HOW'D THE MEETING GO? 510 00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:53,561 GOOD. WE GOT THE FUNDING FOR THE SCIENCE CLUB. 511 00:19:53,563 --> 00:19:55,503 AND YOU KNOW HOW WE TOLD YOU 512 00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:58,425 THAT WHEN DEALING WITH A BULLY, THE HIGH ROAD IS THE GUY ROAD? 513 00:19:58,428 --> 00:20:00,498 WELL, THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE YOU SHOULD KNOW. 514 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:03,500 SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO PUBLICLY HUMILIATE HIM 515 00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:06,483 AND LEAVE HIM CRYING IN HIS ESCALADE IN THE PARKING LOT. 516 00:20:07,577 --> 00:20:08,807 WHO WANTS CHAMPAGNE? 517 00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:11,478 NATHAN. YOU EVER TASTE CHAMPAGNE? 518 00:20:11,481 --> 00:20:14,711 YOUR DAD'S A LITTLE EXCITED. YOU'RE NOT HAVING CHAMPAGNE. 519 00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,654 YOU AND ME, KID! 520 00:20:19,949 --> 00:20:21,249 I CALLED YOU IN 521 00:20:21,251 --> 00:20:22,721 SO YOUR DAD AND I CAN TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING-- 522 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:23,892 A GOOD THING. 523 00:20:23,893 --> 00:20:26,233 OH, HERE'S YOUR DAD NOW. HEY, HONEY. 524 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,225 HI. 525 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,926 (kiss) READY TO GO? 526 00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:31,928 HELLO. HOW ARE YOU? 527 00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:33,831 CRAIG, I KNOW THIS IS A SURPRISE, 528 00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:35,003 BUT I REALLY FEEL 529 00:20:35,004 --> 00:20:38,774 WE OWE IT TO BRANDON TO TELL HIM WE'RE DATING. 530 00:20:38,768 --> 00:20:41,268 (gasps) BRANDON. YES. 531 00:20:42,912 --> 00:20:44,242 I DON'T KNOW WHO THIS GUY IS. 532 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:47,723 BRANDON... (exhales deeply) I... 533 00:20:47,717 --> 00:20:49,717 I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, SON. 534 00:20:49,719 --> 00:20:52,719 I, TOO, SOMETIMES FEEL LIKE YOU AND I ARE STRANGERS, 535 00:20:52,722 --> 00:20:57,262 ONE OF WHOM IS TRYING TO MAKE A NEW CONNECTION. 536 00:20:58,928 --> 00:20:59,988 HELP ME OUT, MAN. 537 00:20:59,989 --> 00:21:03,259 SERIOUSLY, THIS GUY'S NOT MY DAD. 538 00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:06,942 OKAY. I THINK I CAN CLEAR UP THE CONFUSION. 539 00:21:06,936 --> 00:21:08,896 I'VE BEEN LYING, 540 00:21:08,898 --> 00:21:12,738 SO I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU MY WATCH, 541 00:21:12,742 --> 00:21:14,802 I'M GONNA TOUCH THIS IGUANA, 542 00:21:14,804 --> 00:21:17,884 AND I'M GONNA BE ON MY WAY. 543 00:21:19,008 --> 00:21:21,008 OOH! I WAS RIGHT-- 544 00:21:21,010 --> 00:21:23,950 SLIPPERY, BUT NOT SLIMY. 40415

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