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1
00:00:00,371 --> 00:00:03,031
(squeals)
2
00:00:03,034 --> 00:00:05,244
HYAH!
3
00:00:05,236 --> 00:00:07,236
I THINK IT'S A TIE.
4
00:00:07,238 --> 00:00:10,078
YOU'RE KIDDING ME. MY KICK
IS SO MUCH HIGHER THAN HIS.
5
00:00:10,081 --> 00:00:12,211
I KNEW WE SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN
A REAL JUDGE FOR THIS. (sighs)
6
00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:15,053
SO... NATHAN WAS BULLIED
AT SCHOOL YESTERDAY.
7
00:00:15,046 --> 00:00:17,186
WHAT?!
NO ONE PICKS ON MY NEPHEW.
8
00:00:17,188 --> 00:00:18,348
WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING.
9
00:00:18,349 --> 00:00:20,119
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT, TOO,
10
00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:22,221
BUT THEN THERESA AND I
TALKED ABOUT IT,
11
00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:23,393
AND SHE HELPED ME REALIZE THAT
12
00:00:23,394 --> 00:00:27,164
MY THOUGHTS, FEELINGS,
AND OPINIONS WERE... WRONG.
13
00:00:27,158 --> 00:00:29,198
THAT IS A LESSON
YOU KEEP LEARNING, MY FRIEND.
14
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,200
WE TOLD NATHAN THE BEST WAY
TO DEAL WITH THE BULLY
15
00:00:31,202 --> 00:00:32,202
IS TO IGNORE HIM.
16
00:00:32,203 --> 00:00:35,173
THE HIGH ROAD IS THE GUY ROAD.
17
00:00:35,166 --> 00:00:38,406
WE ALSO TRIED TO COME UP WITH
A RHYME TO MAKE IT SOUND COOL.
18
00:00:38,409 --> 00:00:40,339
YOU DID NOT SUCCEED.
19
00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:42,271
WHEN I WAS BULLIED IN SCHOOL,
MY DAD MADE ME CONFRONT THE GUY,
20
00:00:42,273 --> 00:00:44,353
AND THEN THE GUY BEAT ME UP
AGAIN FOR CONFRONTING HIM,
21
00:00:44,345 --> 00:00:46,115
AND SO MY DAD MADE ME
CONFRONT HIM AGAIN,
22
00:00:46,117 --> 00:00:48,047
AND THEN THE GUY
BEAT ME UP AGAIN,
23
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,248
AND THEN MY DAD THREW
AN EMPTY BEER CAN AT ME
24
00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:51,320
FOR USING THE PHRASE
"VICIOUS CYCLE."
25
00:00:51,322 --> 00:00:54,392
(whispers) CLASSIC.
MY OLD MAN ALSO BELIEVED
IN CONFRONTATION,
26
00:00:54,385 --> 00:00:58,125
BUT THERESA HELPED ME REALIZE
THAT "IT'S A DIFFERENT AGE.
27
00:00:58,129 --> 00:01:00,289
NO NEED FOR RAGE."
28
00:01:00,291 --> 00:01:02,091
I HATE YOUR RHYMES
A WHOLE DAMN BUNCH,
29
00:01:02,093 --> 00:01:08,343
SO CRAIG AND I...
ARE OFF TO LUNCH.
30
00:01:08,339 --> 00:01:10,369
SO...
31
00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:14,151
I HEAR YOU GOT PICKED ON
BY SOME NE'ER-DO-WELL AT SCHOOL.
32
00:01:14,145 --> 00:01:16,275
WHAT'D HE DO,
LAUGH AT YOUR FUNNY GLASSES?
33
00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:19,347
YOUR GOOFY HAIRCUT?
YOUR HEIGHT? THE WAY YOU TALK?
34
00:01:19,350 --> 00:01:21,380
KENNY.
SORRY.
35
00:01:21,382 --> 00:01:23,352
IT WAS YOUR EARS, WASN'T IT?
36
00:01:23,354 --> 00:01:27,364
NO. HE SAID THAT I LOOKED LIKE
THE IGUANA IN OUR BIOLOGY CLASS.
37
00:01:27,358 --> 00:01:29,158
THEN HE PUSHED ME DOWN.
38
00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:30,390
WHOA, WHOA.WHAT?
39
00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:31,461
UNBELIEVABLE.
40
00:01:31,462 --> 00:01:33,422
YOU HAVE AN IGUANA
IN YOUR BIOLOGY CLASS?
41
00:01:33,424 --> 00:01:35,174
UM, YEAH.
42
00:01:35,166 --> 00:01:36,226
ANYWAY, SO AFTER
HE PUSHED ME DOWN,
43
00:01:36,227 --> 00:01:38,097
HE THREW MY BACKPACK
IN THE TRASH CAN.
44
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,168
(sighs)
45
00:01:39,170 --> 00:01:40,470
COLD-BLOODED.
BIG-TIME.
46
00:01:40,471 --> 00:01:42,131
I'M SAYING REPTILES
ARE COLD-BLOODED.
47
00:01:42,133 --> 00:01:43,233
HAVE YOU TOUCHED THIS THING?
48
00:01:43,234 --> 00:01:45,314
I PICTURE IT SLIPPERY
BUT NOT SLIMY.
49
00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:48,176
FORGET THE IGUANA.
WHO IS THIS KID?
50
00:01:48,179 --> 00:01:51,109
DOESN'T MATTER WHO THE KID IS.
SITUATION'S BEEN DEFUSED.
(door opens and closes)
51
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,381
KID? ARE WE TRASHING A KID?
'CAUSE I WANT IN.
52
00:01:53,384 --> 00:01:55,124
THERE IS NO KID.
53
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,285
I HEARD YOU TALKING ABOUT A KID
WHEN WE WALKED IN.
54
00:01:56,287 --> 00:01:57,317
MM.
55
00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:59,318
I HAVE ACUTE SENSES. (sniffs)
56
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:01,320
AND ALSO,
CRAIG SWITCHED SHAMPOOS.
57
00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:04,122
MAN, I HATE BULLIES.
58
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:07,234
THEY'RE MEAN, INSENSITIVE,
AND AGGRESSIVE.
59
00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:08,328
NOW WHO'S THEPUNK
60
00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:11,459
THAT SAID MY NEPHEW WALKS
LIKE ADUCK?!
61
00:02:11,462 --> 00:02:13,402
ALL RIGHT, KIDS, MOMMY'S
ABOUT TO FREAK OUT THE ADULTS.
62
00:02:13,404 --> 00:02:15,514
GO WAIT OUTSIDE FOR AUNT BRENDA
TO TAKE YOU TO SCHOOL.
63
00:02:15,506 --> 00:02:17,506
(door opens and closes)
64
00:02:17,508 --> 00:02:19,368
LOOK, THE NAME OF THE KID
IS NOT IMPORTANT,
65
00:02:19,370 --> 00:02:22,240
BUT THE MOTHER IS
INCREDIBLYIMPORTANT.
66
00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:24,423
SHE IS A VERY INFLUENTIAL MEMBER
OF THE SCHOOL BOARD,
67
00:02:24,415 --> 00:02:26,215
AND I NEED HER ON MY SIDE
68
00:02:26,217 --> 00:02:29,377
BECAUSE I AM LOBBYING THEM THIS
WEEK TO SAVE THE SCIENCE CLUB.
69
00:02:29,380 --> 00:02:31,380
WHAT?!
SCIENCE CLUB'S IN TROUBLE?!
70
00:02:31,382 --> 00:02:32,522
(gasps loudly) I'M SORRY.
71
00:02:32,523 --> 00:02:34,193
I'M TRYING TO FREAK OUT
ABOUT THIS.
72
00:02:34,185 --> 00:02:35,285
I'M JUST NOT FEELING IT.
73
00:02:35,286 --> 00:02:36,456
WAIT A MINUTE.
74
00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:39,157
YOU'RE NOT SUCKING UP
TO SHARON EASTERLING, ARE YOU?
75
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,289
I WOULDN'T SAY "SUCKING UP."
76
00:02:40,291 --> 00:02:42,291
I'M MERELY SHOWERING HER
WITH UNNECESSARY COMPLIMENTS
77
00:02:42,293 --> 00:02:44,473
AND GIFT CARDS
TO ACHIEVE MY GOALS.
78
00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:45,535
OHH, PERFECT.
79
00:02:45,536 --> 00:02:47,496
SUCKING UP,
JUST LIKE HIGH SCHOOL.
80
00:02:47,498 --> 00:02:50,168
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
SHARON AND I WERE FRIENDS.
81
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,340
YEAH? WELL, YOURFRIEND
SPREAD THE RUMOR
82
00:02:52,343 --> 00:02:54,383
THAT I MADE OUT
WITH THE SCHOOL JANITOR,
83
00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,345
AND YOU NEVER STOOD UP FOR ME.
84
00:02:56,347 --> 00:02:58,507
WELL, THE TWO OF YOU DID HAVE
COLD SORES AT THE SAME TIME.
85
00:02:58,509 --> 00:03:00,509
IT WAS A COINCIDENCE.
86
00:03:00,511 --> 00:03:04,561
WE JUST BOTH MADE OUT WITH THAT
FRENCH EXCHANGE STUDENT PIERRE.
87
00:03:04,555 --> 00:03:06,355
SO PEOPLE THINK YOU SLEPT
88
00:03:06,357 --> 00:03:08,487
WITH SOME SUPER OLD,
BISEXUAL CUSTODIAN.
89
00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:10,389
LET ITGO.
90
00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:12,421
ISHOULD LET IT GO?
DO YOU KNOW
91
00:03:12,423 --> 00:03:14,533
WHO SHARON EASTERLING
IS MARRIED TO?
92
00:03:14,525 --> 00:03:16,525
AND THIS IS WHERE
THE ADULTS FREAK OUT.
93
00:03:16,527 --> 00:03:18,267
DENNIS MAYDER.
94
00:03:18,269 --> 00:03:19,469
(pounds countertop)
MAYDER!
95
00:03:19,470 --> 00:03:21,330
AAH!
96
00:03:21,332 --> 00:03:24,282
OH! THE BULLY'S DAD
IS DENNIS MAYDER?!
97
00:03:24,275 --> 00:03:26,305
DENNIS MAYDER?
98
00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:29,377
SO THAT'S WHY YOU DIDN'T WANT
TO TELL ME WHO THE DAD WAS.
99
00:03:29,380 --> 00:03:31,380
MAY I BE HONEST WITH YOU ALL?
100
00:03:31,382 --> 00:03:33,212
THERE ARE TIMES
WHEN YOUR SHARED HISTORY
101
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,553
MAKES ME FEEL LIKE AN OUTSIDER.
102
00:03:34,545 --> 00:03:37,385
DENNIS MAYDER WAS
THE BIGGEST JERK IN JUNIOR HIGH.
103
00:03:37,388 --> 00:03:39,248
THANK YOU.
I FEEL BETTER ALREADY.
YEAH.
104
00:03:39,250 --> 00:03:41,350
DENNIS WAS ALWAYS SAYING STUFF
THAT GOT IN YOUR HEAD,
105
00:03:41,352 --> 00:03:44,262
LIKE--LIKE I HAD LADY HIPS
106
00:03:44,255 --> 00:03:46,225
AND THAT'S WHY
I COULDN'T RUN FAST.
107
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:49,296
(whistles)
108
00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:51,230
I KNOW. IT'S INSANE.
109
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,501
CLASSIC MAYDER.
110
00:03:52,503 --> 00:03:54,373
SO THE BULLY HAD A LITTLE BULLY.
111
00:03:54,365 --> 00:03:57,305
I'M GONNA TALK TO DENNIS.
IT'S TIME TO BREAK THIS CYCLE.
112
00:03:57,308 --> 00:04:00,338
YEAH, WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING--
SOMETHIN' STUPID.
113
00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:01,441
LISTEN TO ME.
114
00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:02,572
NATHAN AND THE MAYDER KID
HAD A LITTLE INCIDENT,
115
00:04:02,573 --> 00:04:04,383
AND NOW IT IS OVER,
AND I NEED SHARON ON MY SIDE
116
00:04:04,375 --> 00:04:06,375
BECAUSE NATHAN LOVES
THAT SCIENCE CLUB.
117
00:04:06,377 --> 00:04:09,377
SONOBODYIS DOING ANYTHING.
118
00:04:09,380 --> 00:04:12,320
FINE. THAT GUY GETS TO ME.
119
00:04:12,323 --> 00:04:16,593
YOU KNOW, HE ONCE SAID THAT
MY HEAD WAS, LIKE, 98% FACE.
120
00:04:16,587 --> 00:04:18,487
I KNOW.
121
00:04:18,489 --> 00:04:21,429
IT'S INSANE.
122
00:04:21,432 --> 00:04:23,632
TARGET ACQUIRED.
123
00:04:23,634 --> 00:04:26,274
I'M GONNA GO SCARE THE HELL
OUT OF THAT KID.
124
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,596
I'M GONNA GO TOUCH
THAT IGUANA.
125
00:04:28,599 --> 00:04:30,269
(imitates explosion)
126
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,370
(children yelling playfully)
127
00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:32,442
(Kenny) HEY!
128
00:04:33,644 --> 00:04:37,414
YOU D.J. MAYDER? THE KID
THAT BULLIED NATHAN KEEN?
129
00:04:37,408 --> 00:04:39,408
YEAH.
HE'S MY NEPHEW.
130
00:04:39,410 --> 00:04:41,480
OH, I SEE WHERE HE GETS
HIS GIANT EARS FROM.
131
00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,452
YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR MOUTH,
PUNK.
132
00:04:43,454 --> 00:04:44,494
OR WHAT?
133
00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:47,355
OR MAYBE I WATCH ITFORYOU.
134
00:04:47,358 --> 00:04:50,358
YOU WANNA STARE AT MY MOUTH?
WHAT KIND OF A PERSON ARE YOU?
135
00:04:50,361 --> 00:04:52,321
WHAT? NO!
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
136
00:04:52,323 --> 00:04:54,403
WHAT,
THAT YOU'RE GONNA HIT ME?
137
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:55,625
UH, MAYBE!
138
00:04:55,626 --> 00:04:57,366
I'M A KID.
139
00:04:57,368 --> 00:04:59,498
YOU TOUCH ME,
YOU GO RIGHT TO JAIL.
140
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:02,400
COME ON.DOSOMETHIN'.
141
00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:04,303
DO SOMETHIN'!
142
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:10,539
I'M GONNA TOUCH YOU.
143
00:05:10,541 --> 00:05:13,381
I'M SORRY. CAN I HELP YOU?
144
00:05:13,384 --> 00:05:16,494
OH, NO, I JUST CAME TO, UH--
OH, YOU MUST BE BRANDON'S DAD.
145
00:05:16,487 --> 00:05:18,487
I'M SORRY.
DID YOU NOT GET MY MESSAGE?
146
00:05:18,489 --> 00:05:21,489
I HAD TO CANCEL OUR MEETING
TODAY. I HAVE JUST BEEN SWAMPED.
147
00:05:21,492 --> 00:05:23,422
NO, NO. I JUST--I WAS--
I'D LOVE TO FIND SOME TIME
148
00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:26,404
WHEN YOU AND I CAN SIT
AND TALK ABOUT BRANDON.
149
00:05:26,397 --> 00:05:28,327
HE'S BEEN A LITTLE QUIET
IN CLASS LATELY,
150
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:31,628
PROBABLY BECAUSE OF...
YOUR DIVORCE.
151
00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:33,602
(chuckles) LOOK,
I GOTTA BE HONEST WITH YOU,
152
00:05:33,604 --> 00:05:35,374
UM...
153
00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:41,407
THIS DIVORCE HAS BEEN HARD
ON ALL OF US.
154
00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,415
I JUST MET
THE CUTEST TEACHER,
155
00:05:46,417 --> 00:05:49,417
AND SHE AND I ARE GOING
TO DINNER TOGETHER.
156
00:05:49,420 --> 00:05:52,650
ALSO, I HAVE A SON NAMED BRANDON
AND HE'S STRUGGLING.
157
00:05:54,385 --> 00:05:55,455
(seat belt clicks)
158
00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:57,386
YOU OKAY?
159
00:05:57,388 --> 00:05:59,458
THAT MAYDER KID IS SO MEAN.
160
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:00,730
HE SAID I LOVE TURDS.
161
00:06:00,731 --> 00:06:03,361
BUT YOU HATE TURDS.
162
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,643
I KNOW!
163
00:06:04,635 --> 00:06:08,365
SO THAT ALSO MAKES HIM
ALIAR!
(starts engine)
164
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,368
(tires peal)
165
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,540
HEY. WHERE'S MOM?
166
00:06:12,543 --> 00:06:13,603
OH, SHE'S JUST INSIDE,
167
00:06:13,604 --> 00:06:16,614
HANGING FLIERS FOR THAT, UH,
SCHOOL BOARD THING.
168
00:06:16,607 --> 00:06:20,447
SO TELL ME, HOW WAS IT TODAY?
DID D.J. PICK ON YOU?
169
00:06:20,451 --> 00:06:21,581
NO, IT WAS FINE.
170
00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,452
HE EVEN APOLOGIZED TO ME
AFTER CLASS.
171
00:06:23,454 --> 00:06:25,524
I THINK MOM CALLED HIS MOM
OR SOMETHING.
172
00:06:25,516 --> 00:06:28,456
OKAY. WELL, SEE?
173
00:06:28,459 --> 00:06:29,689
THE HIGH ROAD IS THE GUY--
(smack)
174
00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:31,690
(ball bouncing)
WHAT THE HELL?
175
00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:33,562
OH, I'M SORRY. ONE OF MY BALLS
HIT YOUR FACE.
176
00:06:33,564 --> 00:06:35,734
YOU WANNA HAVE YOUR WIFE CALL
MY WIFE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT?
177
00:06:35,726 --> 00:06:37,666
DENNIS MAYDER.
178
00:06:37,668 --> 00:06:38,768
UH-HUH, THAT'S RIGHT.
179
00:06:38,769 --> 00:06:40,629
AND DENNIS MAYDER
WOULD APPRECIATE
180
00:06:40,631 --> 00:06:43,431
IF IN THE FUTURE
OUR KIDS HAVE A PROBLEM,
181
00:06:43,434 --> 00:06:45,444
YOU CALL ME DIRECTLY,
DEAL WITH IT LIKE A MAN.
182
00:06:45,436 --> 00:06:48,506
WHAT'S UP, BUDDY?
I GOT NO BEEF WITH YOU, OKAY?
183
00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:50,539
HERE'S A JUICE BOX.
184
00:06:50,541 --> 00:06:52,481
THIS ISN'T JUICE.
185
00:06:52,483 --> 00:06:54,793
THIS IS JUICE DRINK.
AND WE PREFER NATHAN DOESN'T
186
00:06:54,785 --> 00:06:56,545
HAVE THESE TYPES
OF SUGARY BEVERAGES
187
00:06:56,547 --> 00:06:58,717
UNLESS IT'S A SPECIAL OCCASION.
188
00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:00,489
(juice box thuds)
GOOD ONE, DAD.
189
00:07:00,491 --> 00:07:03,491
HEY, ANYBODY EVER TELL YOU,
YOU LOOK LIKE CURIOUS GEORGE?
190
00:07:03,494 --> 00:07:05,734
OH! REALLY?
(mouths words)
191
00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:08,426
WELL, DID ANYBODY
EVER TELLYOU...THAT...
192
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:12,458
THAT THE HIGH ROAD
IS THE GUY ROAD?
193
00:07:12,463 --> 00:07:13,533
HEY, D-MAN.
194
00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:14,674
OOH.
GIVE A HUG, LADY BUG.
195
00:07:14,665 --> 00:07:15,765
MMM.
196
00:07:15,766 --> 00:07:17,706
OOH.
197
00:07:17,708 --> 00:07:21,538
GIVE A SMOOCH,
LADY... POOCH.
198
00:07:24,775 --> 00:07:26,545
OKAY.
199
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,647
GUESS WHO I RAN INTO AND INVITED
OVER FOR DINNER TOMORROW
200
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:30,619
TO TALK ABOUT SCIENCE CLUB?
201
00:07:30,621 --> 00:07:31,821
REMEMBER HOW IMPORTANT
THAT IS TO NATHAN,
202
00:07:31,822 --> 00:07:34,592
BECAUSE HE LOVES SCIENCE?
AND TO ME?
203
00:07:34,585 --> 00:07:35,685
AND YOU'RE GOING TO DO IT?
204
00:07:35,686 --> 00:07:38,556
OR MAYBE WE DECIDE TO GO
IN ANOTHER DIRECTION?
205
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:43,659
AND THEN WE CIRCLE BACK AND DO
EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANNA DO?
206
00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:45,544
I'M IN.
207
00:07:45,536 --> 00:07:48,536
(Dennis, Sharon,
and Theresa laugh)
208
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,605
IT'S NOT THAT BRANDON'S
NOT A GOOD BOY.
209
00:07:57,608 --> 00:07:59,548
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
HE'S THE BEST, THAT KID.
210
00:07:59,550 --> 00:08:01,110
OHH! I LOVE HIM.
211
00:08:01,111 --> 00:08:04,181
I THINK HE'S JUST HAVING
A LITTLE TROUBLE RIGHT NOW.
212
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,094
YEAH, WE'RE ALL HAVING
A LITTLE TROUBLE RIGHT NOW.
213
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:08,116
FOR HIM, IT'S FOCUSING
ON HIS SCHOOLWORK.
214
00:08:08,118 --> 00:08:10,558
FOR ME, IT'S HAVING NO ONE THERE
TO BAKE BREAD FOR,
215
00:08:10,561 --> 00:08:12,621
LOOK AT A SUNSET WITH,
216
00:08:12,623 --> 00:08:15,203
LIE NEXT TO
BY A CRACKLING FIRE.
217
00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:16,565
REALLY?
YOU BAKE YOUR OWN BREAD?
218
00:08:16,567 --> 00:08:19,567
WELL, IT'S A HOBBY OF MINE.
I HAVE A FEW.
219
00:08:19,570 --> 00:08:21,570
I PLAY SOME INSTRUMENTS,
ORGANIC GARDENING,
220
00:08:21,572 --> 00:08:23,202
ALWAYS FIX ANYTHING
AROUND THE HOUSE RIGHT AWAY
221
00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:25,113
IF IT BREAKS.
222
00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:28,505
YOU'RE A FASCINATING MAN,
BRUCE.
223
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,538
PLEASE, CALL ME CRAIG.
224
00:08:30,541 --> 00:08:32,241
WHY?
225
00:08:32,242 --> 00:08:35,252
IT'S A NICKNAME.
226
00:08:35,245 --> 00:08:38,585
SO THEN MAYDER TELLS ME--
GET THIS--
227
00:08:38,589 --> 00:08:40,549
THAT I LOOK LIKE
CURIOUS GEORGE.
228
00:08:41,592 --> 00:08:44,152
I KNOW. IT'S INSANE.
229
00:08:44,154 --> 00:08:45,704
AND NOW I HAVE TO
HAVE DINNER WITH THIS GUY.
230
00:08:45,696 --> 00:08:47,656
I SWEAR,
IF THERESA DIDN'T NEED
231
00:08:47,658 --> 00:08:50,198
THIS SCHOOL BOARD THING
TO GO WELL, I WOULD DECK HIM.
232
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:52,630
YOU KNOW WHO I'D DECK?
THAT BASTARD KID OF HIS.
233
00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:54,203
THE BABY?
234
00:08:54,204 --> 00:08:58,144
NO, NOT THE BABY.
D.J.--DUMB JERK.
235
00:08:58,138 --> 00:08:59,608
OH, I SHOULD HAVE SAID THAT!
236
00:08:59,610 --> 00:09:01,610
I HAVE A SUGGESTION.
237
00:09:01,612 --> 00:09:04,542
IT SEEMS THAT DENNIS TRIES TO
GET THE BEST OF YOU WITH HIS...
238
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:08,554
RIDICULOUSLY UNTRUE COMMENTS
ABOUT YOUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE.
239
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,578
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
TRY TO DEFEAT HIM
240
00:09:10,581 --> 00:09:12,721
BY USING HIS ENERGY
AGAINST HIM.
241
00:09:12,723 --> 00:09:15,163
WOW. THAT'S PRETTY DEEP.
242
00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:16,555
IS THAT SOME SORT
OF EASTERN THING?
243
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:19,686
YES. I LEARNED IT
FROM A SHERPA NAMED MOMO.
244
00:09:19,690 --> 00:09:21,160
HUH.
245
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:22,631
HE CUTS THE GRASS
AT MY APARTMENT BUILDING.
246
00:09:22,633 --> 00:09:26,243
WILL, IF YOU AGREE
WITH WHATEVER DENNIS SAYS,
247
00:09:26,236 --> 00:09:29,696
YOU WILL DULL HIS MAIN ATTACK
BLADE, RENDERING HIM IMPOTENT.
248
00:09:29,700 --> 00:09:32,700
USE HIS ENERGY AGAINST HIM...
249
00:09:32,703 --> 00:09:35,283
THAT MAKES SENSE!
250
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:40,245
GENTLEMEN, TONIGHT
I AM GONNA MAKE A MAN IMPOTENT.
251
00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:41,710
(door closes)
252
00:09:41,712 --> 00:09:43,652
(sighs) AND, KENNY?
253
00:09:43,654 --> 00:09:46,194
YOU NEED TO GET
REVENGE ON THAT KID.
254
00:09:47,217 --> 00:09:48,757
SERIOUSLY?
255
00:09:48,759 --> 00:09:50,259
(laughs) YES!
256
00:09:50,260 --> 00:09:52,220
BUT YOU JUST SAID
THAT WILL SHOULD--
257
00:09:52,222 --> 00:09:54,262
NO, KENNY AND WILL'S PATHS
ARE DIFFERENT.
258
00:09:54,264 --> 00:09:56,774
WILL'S IS THE HIGH ROAD.
KENNY'S IS THE LOW ROAD.
259
00:09:56,767 --> 00:09:59,667
MY PHILOSOPHY IS DO
WHATYOUNEED TO DO TO HEAL.
260
00:09:59,670 --> 00:10:02,700
SEEMS LIKE YOUR PHILOSOPHY JUST
LETS YOU DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.
261
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:05,743
I ASK THE UNIVERSE,
AND THE UNIVERSE ANSWERS.
262
00:10:05,736 --> 00:10:07,206
SEE, THAT JUST SOUNDS LIKE
263
00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:08,677
YOU'RE DESCRIBING
THE PROCESS OF THINKING.
264
00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:11,339
WHO CARES? HE JUST GAVE ME
THE GREEN LIGHT FOR REVENGE.
265
00:10:11,341 --> 00:10:12,711
OKAY.
266
00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:15,223
WHAT DOES YOUR PHILOSOPHY SAY
ABOUT LYING TO A WOMAN YOU LIKE
267
00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:16,285
ABOUT BEING
THE FATHER OF A CHILD
268
00:10:16,286 --> 00:10:17,646
WHO'S GOING THROUGH
A BRUTAL DIVORCE
269
00:10:17,648 --> 00:10:19,348
ANDMAKING HER THINK
YOU'RE THE SECOND COUSIN
270
00:10:19,349 --> 00:10:21,219
OF THAT REALLY GOOD-LOOKING,
SLEEPY, PALE GUY
271
00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:22,391
FROM THE "TWILIGHT" MOVIES?
272
00:10:22,392 --> 00:10:25,362
THE UNIVERSE WILL NOT STAND IN
THE WAY OF WHAT THE HEART WANTS.
273
00:10:25,355 --> 00:10:29,625
I LIKE THIS UNIVERSE. ALL RIGHT.
KENNY, WHAT'S THE PLAN?
274
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,699
ALL RIGHT, GENTLEMEN,
I GOT FOUR WORDS FOR YOU--
275
00:10:31,702 --> 00:10:34,772
TOY, LET, PAY, PER.
276
00:10:34,765 --> 00:10:36,705
TOY, LET, PAY, PER.
277
00:10:36,707 --> 00:10:38,707
TOY, LET, PAY, PER.
278
00:10:38,709 --> 00:10:40,239
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
279
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:41,310
TOILET PAPER.
280
00:10:41,311 --> 00:10:43,341
OH. IT'S TWO WORDS.
281
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:45,783
WE ARE GOING TO TOILET PAPER
THIS PUNK'S HOUSE...
282
00:10:45,776 --> 00:10:48,316
DOUBLE PLY. (cackles)
283
00:10:48,318 --> 00:10:49,778
ACTUALLY, THAT'S MORE EXPENSIVE.
284
00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:54,790
SINGLE PLY. (cackles)
285
00:10:56,426 --> 00:10:57,756
THANKS AGAIN
FOR DOING THIS DINNER.
286
00:10:57,758 --> 00:10:59,258
IT'LL ONLY BE
A COUPLE HOURS.
287
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:00,829
JUST BE KIND,
DON'T LET HIM GET TO YOU--
288
00:11:00,831 --> 00:11:04,661
HONEY, THE LONGER WE TALK,
THE LONGER THE DRUMMING GOES ON.
289
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,744
"HOT FOR TEACHER."
ALEX VAN HALEN. IN YOUR FACE.
290
00:11:07,738 --> 00:11:08,738
HI.
HELLO.
291
00:11:08,739 --> 00:11:09,839
COME ON IN.
292
00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:11,740
HEY. HERE YOU GO.
293
00:11:11,742 --> 00:11:13,702
I WAS GONNA BRING BANANAS,
BUT I FIGURED
294
00:11:13,704 --> 00:11:16,684
YOU GOT PLENTY OF THOSE FROM
THE MAN WITH THE YELLOW HAT.
295
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,306
(chuckles)
THAT'S CLEVER, DENNIS.
296
00:11:18,308 --> 00:11:22,278
BUT I WAS LOOKING IN THE MIRROR
EARLIER, AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
297
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:24,682
IDOLOOK LIKE
CURIOUS GEORGE.
298
00:11:26,356 --> 00:11:27,686
OH.
299
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,387
WELL, YEAH, YOU DO.
300
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:34,320
ANYWAY, MIGHT WANT TO
LET THAT MERLOT BREATHE, NERD.
301
00:11:44,374 --> 00:11:46,784
ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP.
WE ARE IN TOILET PAPER MODE.
302
00:11:46,777 --> 00:11:48,877
THREE ROLLS TO A TREE,
KEEP THE BUNCHING TO A MINIMUM,
303
00:11:48,879 --> 00:11:50,839
WE'RE IN, WE'RE OUT,
STAY FOCUSED, NO DISTRACTIONS.
304
00:11:50,841 --> 00:11:55,391
DUDE, CHECK IT OUT.
DENNIS HAS A SICK MAN CAVE.
305
00:11:55,385 --> 00:11:56,785
OHH.
306
00:11:58,418 --> 00:11:59,788
ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP.
WE ARE IN MAN CAVE MODE.
307
00:11:59,790 --> 00:12:01,390
WE'RE GONNA PLAY
SOME VIDEO GAMES,
308
00:12:01,391 --> 00:12:02,451
HAVE A COUPLE BEERS,
AND THEN WE'RE OUT OF THERE.
309
00:12:02,452 --> 00:12:03,852
STAY FOCUSED, NO DISTRACTIONS.
310
00:12:03,854 --> 00:12:04,864
(thud)
LET'S GO.
311
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:10,856
IT'S JUST, SCIENCE CLUB
IS SO IMPORTANT TO MY SON,
312
00:12:10,861 --> 00:12:13,901
AND IT'S CHANGED LIVES. IN FACT,
DO YOU REMEMBER BRENDA CUTTY?
313
00:12:13,904 --> 00:12:17,814
YOU MEAN "SLUTTY CUTTY"?
"THE LEGEND OF BIG-SLUT"?
314
00:12:17,808 --> 00:12:18,838
(laughs)
315
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:22,509
RIGHT. YOU USED TO
CALL HER THAT.
316
00:12:22,512 --> 00:12:25,782
WELL, SHE WAS SO INSPIRED
BY SCIENCE CLUB
317
00:12:25,776 --> 00:12:28,476
THAT NOW
SHE'S A REGISTERED NURSE.
318
00:12:28,478 --> 00:12:31,478
REMEMBER WHEN SHE GOT
THAT COLD SORE FROM RUDY,
319
00:12:31,481 --> 00:12:33,781
THAT SUPER OLD JANITOR
WHO LIKED TO SWEEP
320
00:12:33,784 --> 00:12:36,494
ON BOTH SIDES OF THE HALLWAY,
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
321
00:12:36,486 --> 00:12:37,756
YES!
322
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:40,457
(both laugh)
323
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:42,490
THAT WAS SO FUNNY.
324
00:12:42,492 --> 00:12:43,792
SO...
325
00:12:43,794 --> 00:12:45,474
IS YOUR MOM STILL A FATTY?
326
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:46,835
HUGE.
327
00:12:46,837 --> 00:12:50,397
SHE'S SO FAT, WHEN SHE CUTS
HERSELF, GRAVY COMES OUT.
328
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,770
OKAY. THAT WAS MINE.
I WAS GONNA SAY THAT.
329
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,772
(chuckles)
YEAH.
330
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:55,954
WHY ARE YOU GRINNING?
331
00:12:55,946 --> 00:12:58,946
I'M HAVING A SURPRISINGLY
GOOD TIME TONIGHT.
HMM.
332
00:12:58,949 --> 00:13:02,509
UH,
THEN IT WOULDN'T ANNOY YOU
333
00:13:02,512 --> 00:13:04,822
IF I MAKE
A LITTLE DOCUMENTARY...
(beep)
334
00:13:04,815 --> 00:13:09,455
ABOUT YOUR LAME HOUSE
AND YOUR PASTY FACE?
335
00:13:09,459 --> 00:13:12,789
OOH, AND ALL THESE
STUPID BASKETS.
336
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,872
ARE THESE BASKETS WHERE YOU KEEP
ALL YOUR UNREALIZED DREAMS?
337
00:13:14,865 --> 00:13:17,825
YEAH. I HAVEN'T ACHIEVED
ANYTHING I SET OUT TO DO.
338
00:13:17,828 --> 00:13:19,468
I'M PRETTY MUCH A FAILURE.
339
00:13:19,469 --> 00:13:21,869
SO HOW DO YOU LIKE
YOUR MEAT, DENNIS?
340
00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:24,403
CHEF'S CHOICE.
341
00:13:25,876 --> 00:13:29,436
IT WAS AMAZING.
GRANT'S ADVICE WORKED PERFECTLY.
342
00:13:29,439 --> 00:13:31,409
IT DROVE DENNIS CRAZY.
343
00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:32,541
LET ME ASK YOU TWO SOMETHING.
344
00:13:32,542 --> 00:13:34,952
DO YOU THINK WE HAVE
TOO MANY BASKETS IN OUR KITCHEN?
345
00:13:34,945 --> 00:13:37,415
I'M NOT GONNA LIE TO YOU.
YOU GOT A LOT OF BASKETS.
346
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:38,947
IT'S LIKE EASTER SUNDAY
IN THERE.
347
00:13:38,949 --> 00:13:40,549
BUT GUESS WHAT WE DID
LAST NIGHT?
348
00:13:40,550 --> 00:13:43,890
WE WENT OVER TO DENNIS' WITH
144 ROLLS OF TOILET PAPER...
349
00:13:43,894 --> 00:13:47,864
(cackles)
AND THEN WE GOT DISTRACTED.
350
00:13:47,858 --> 00:13:49,958
(dance music playing)
LEFT FOOT, LEFT FOOT,
LEFT FOOT, RIGHT, RIGHT,
351
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:52,830
CROSS, CROSS, CROSS,
CROSS, CROSS...
352
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,432
YOU GUYS SNUCK IN THERE?
353
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:55,914
YEAH, WE WERE
TOTALLY INEFFECTIVE.
354
00:13:55,906 --> 00:13:57,506
BUT DON'T WORRY.
WE'RE GOING BACK TONIGHT.
355
00:13:57,507 --> 00:13:58,937
NOT TO T.P., THOUGH.
356
00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:00,539
HE'S GOT A BLU-RAY PLAYER,
SO WE'RE GONNA WATCH A MOVIE.
357
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:01,610
MAYBE "MONSTERS, INC."
358
00:14:01,611 --> 00:14:02,611
OOH.
359
00:14:02,612 --> 00:14:03,612
(computer alert chimes)
360
00:14:03,613 --> 00:14:04,923
OH.
(typing)
361
00:14:04,915 --> 00:14:07,445
UGH. E-MAIL FROM DENNIS.
362
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:11,977
"HEY, BASKETS, DINNER SUCKED.
I POSTED THIS ONLINE."
363
00:14:11,982 --> 00:14:15,892
(dance music playing)
364
00:14:15,886 --> 00:14:18,486
I LOVE YOUR MEAT.
I LOVE YOUR MEAT.
365
00:14:18,488 --> 00:14:20,558
LOVE--LOVE--I LOVE YOUR MEAT.
366
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:23,990
MEAT--MEAT--MEAT--
MEAT--MEAT--MEAT--I'M A DOUCHE.
367
00:14:23,994 --> 00:14:25,474
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
368
00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:26,595
I'VE NEVER PLEASED A WOMAN.
369
00:14:26,596 --> 00:14:28,896
NO! I-I WAS NEUTRALIZING HIM,
370
00:14:28,899 --> 00:14:31,599
I WAS DULLING HIS BLADE
LIKE GRANT TOLD ME TO.
371
00:14:31,601 --> 00:14:33,541
OH, IT'S GOOD MEAT, WILL.
372
00:14:33,543 --> 00:14:35,553
HERE, TRY A PIECE,
LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.
373
00:14:35,545 --> 00:14:37,505
MMM.
374
00:14:37,507 --> 00:14:39,607
THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT.
THIS IS WAR.
375
00:14:39,609 --> 00:14:42,049
HE HAS NO IDEA
WHO HE'S DEALING WITH.
376
00:14:42,052 --> 00:14:44,482
I'M A TINY LITTLE GIRL.
TINY--TINY--
377
00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:46,894
I'M A TINY LITTLE GIRL.
IT'S A LITTLE BASKET!
378
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:50,916
TISKET--TASKET--BASKET!
TISKET--TASKET--BAS--
379
00:14:56,366 --> 00:14:59,366
(TV playing indistinctly)
380
00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:03,131
I FEEL WEIRD ABOUT THIS.
381
00:15:03,133 --> 00:15:04,333
WHAT? THE GUYS?
THEY'RE NOT WATCHING.
382
00:15:04,334 --> 00:15:07,444
I JUST FEEL LIKE WE SHOULD
TELL BRANDON THAT WE'RE DATING.
383
00:15:07,437 --> 00:15:09,137
NO, NO, IT'S FINE.
384
00:15:09,139 --> 00:15:10,209
IN FACT, LAST NIGHT,
385
00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:11,440
I WAS TUCKING
THAT LITTLE RASCAL INTO BED.
386
00:15:11,441 --> 00:15:14,511
HE SAYS TO ME, "DADDY,
I RECOGNIZE THAT YOU HAVE NEEDS.
387
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:16,494
"YOU CAN DATE
WHOEVER YOU WANT.
388
00:15:16,486 --> 00:15:19,216
I JUST DON'T WANT
TO KNOW ABOUT IT."
389
00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:21,289
SHALL WE?
390
00:15:31,301 --> 00:15:33,361
THEN WE DID THIS,
THEN WE DID THIS,
391
00:15:33,363 --> 00:15:34,533
THEN WE ALMOST
GOT THE HIGH SCORE,
392
00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:36,374
BUT THEN WE DIDN'T.
393
00:15:36,366 --> 00:15:38,506
YOU MIGHT WANT TO RECONSIDER
CALLING THAT A STORY.
394
00:15:38,508 --> 00:15:41,208
WE ALSO ALL TOOK TURNS
SITTING IN HIS MASSAGE CHAIR.
395
00:15:41,211 --> 00:15:42,471
YOU WANT TO HEAR THAT STORY?
396
00:15:42,472 --> 00:15:44,312
I THINK I JUST DID.
397
00:15:44,314 --> 00:15:46,454
AW, THANKS FOR COMING
TO SUPPORT ME, GUYS.
398
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,316
SO WHEN I TALK
ABOUT SCIENCE CLUB,
399
00:15:48,318 --> 00:15:50,218
I NEED EVERYBODY NODDING,
400
00:15:50,220 --> 00:15:52,380
AN OCCASIONAL WHOOP.
(men) WHOOP!
401
00:15:52,382 --> 00:15:53,522
OH! THAT WAS GOOD.
402
00:15:53,523 --> 00:15:56,333
THEN, BRENDA, YOU STAND UP
WHEN I TALK ABOUT
403
00:15:56,326 --> 00:15:58,556
HOW IT INFLUENCED YOU
TO BECOME A NURSE.
404
00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:00,258
SCIENCE CLUB?
(men) WHOOP!
405
00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:02,390
I HATED SCIENCE CLUB.
(men) WHOOP!
406
00:16:02,392 --> 00:16:03,532
I WAS SURROUNDED
BY NERD VIRGINS
407
00:16:03,533 --> 00:16:06,303
WHO'D RATHER TOUCH
A DEAD FROG THAN A LIVE GIRL.
408
00:16:06,296 --> 00:16:07,366
HAVE YOU GUYS
SEEN DENNIS YET?
409
00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:08,537
WILL, WILL, WILL.
410
00:16:08,538 --> 00:16:10,198
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
411
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,340
I'VE HAD IT, THERESA.
YOU SAW THE REMIX.
412
00:16:12,342 --> 00:16:13,542
IT'S SOME STUPID VIDEO.
413
00:16:13,543 --> 00:16:17,453
LOOK, I KNOW THIS IS HARD,
BUT PLEASE, FOR ME,
414
00:16:17,447 --> 00:16:19,577
DON'T SAY ANYTHING
UNTIL AFTER THE MEETING.
415
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:23,379
THIS IS BIGGER THAN ANY OF US.
IT'S SCIENCE CLUB.
416
00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:24,413
(men) WHOOP!
417
00:16:24,414 --> 00:16:26,424
(whispers) THANKS, GUYS.
418
00:16:26,416 --> 00:16:28,256
(amplified voice)
AND WHILE I KNOW MONEY'S TIGHT,
419
00:16:28,258 --> 00:16:30,388
KEEPING KIDS
EXCITED ABOUT SCIENCE
420
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:33,290
IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT
THINGS A SCHOOL CAN DO.
421
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:35,473
(murmuring)
(man) THAT'S RIGHT.
422
00:16:35,465 --> 00:16:38,225
(clears throat, amplified voice)
HI. I'M DENNIS MAYDER.
423
00:16:38,228 --> 00:16:39,598
I'D LIKE TO MAKE
A COUNTER-PROPOSAL.
424
00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:42,299
I BELIEVE THESE FUNDS
SHOULD GO TOWARD
425
00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:44,472
STOCKING THE CAFETERIA
WITH MORE MEAT.
426
00:16:44,474 --> 00:16:49,244
I HAPPEN TO KNOW THERE'S SOMEONE
HERE WHO REALLY LIKES MEAT.
427
00:16:49,239 --> 00:16:51,479
OKAY. GETTING BACK
TO THE TOPIC...
428
00:16:51,481 --> 00:16:53,511
I WOULD JUST LIKE
TO POINT OUT
429
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:57,423
MY FRIEND BRENDA HAYDEN WAS
SO INFLUENCED BY SCIENCE CLUB...
430
00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,317
(both) WHOOP!
THAT SHE BECAME A NURSE.
431
00:16:59,319 --> 00:17:01,289
MM-HMM.
(under breath) I HEARD
SHE BECAME A NURSE
432
00:17:01,291 --> 00:17:03,451
FOR THE FREE ANTIBIOTICS.
433
00:17:03,453 --> 00:17:07,463
EVERY DAY AFTER SCHOOL YOU COULD
FIND BRENDA IN SCIENCE CLUB.
434
00:17:07,457 --> 00:17:11,257
(Kenny, Craig, and Grant) WHOOP!
YEAH, TRYING TO FIND A CURE
FOR CUSTODIAN HERPES. (laughs)
435
00:17:11,261 --> 00:17:12,601
(clears throat)
436
00:17:13,603 --> 00:17:15,473
I'M SORRY, SHARON.
437
00:17:15,465 --> 00:17:17,535
IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY,
WHY DON'T YOU SAY IT OUT LOUD
438
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:20,337
INSTEAD OF MUTTERING IT
LIKE AN OVERGROWN 15-YEAR-OLD?
439
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:22,340
(all) OOH.
440
00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:25,352
(clears throat)
UH, I'D LIKE TO MAKE A MOTION
441
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:26,615
THAT WILL KEEN
CONTROL HIS HUSBAND.
442
00:17:26,616 --> 00:17:29,416
(all) OOH.
LOOK, I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE.
443
00:17:29,419 --> 00:17:31,619
I'M JUST VERY PASSIONATE
ABOUT THE SCIENCE CLUB...
444
00:17:31,621 --> 00:17:33,421
WHOOP!
AND VERY FRUSTRATED.
445
00:17:33,423 --> 00:17:35,593
UH, YOU'VE GOT A PASSIONATE,
FRUSTRATED WOMAN THERE, WILL.
446
00:17:35,585 --> 00:17:38,525
THAT'S TELLING ME
YOU'RE NOT GETTING THE JOB DONE.
447
00:17:38,528 --> 00:17:39,628
(laughter)
448
00:17:39,629 --> 00:17:42,529
(normal voice, sighs)
SCREW THIS.
449
00:17:42,532 --> 00:17:45,302
YOU WANT TO GO
AFTER THAT GUY, DO IT.
450
00:17:45,295 --> 00:17:47,295
I'LL FIND A DIFFERENT WAY
TO FUND SCIENCE CLUB.
451
00:17:47,297 --> 00:17:48,597
(Kenny, Craig, and Grant) WHOOP!
452
00:17:48,598 --> 00:17:51,368
(amplified voice)
AND ANOTHER THING, SHARON--
453
00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:52,501
BRENDA DIDN'T MAKE OUT
WITH THAT JANITOR.
454
00:17:52,502 --> 00:17:55,412
THEY ACCIDENTALLY SHARED
A FRENCH LOVER.
455
00:17:55,405 --> 00:17:58,605
THAT'S HOW SHE GOT MOUTH HERPES.
(inhales and exhales sharply)
456
00:18:01,651 --> 00:18:04,511
(lowered voice) I'M SORRY I
DIDN'T DEFEND YOU 20 YEARS AGO.
457
00:18:04,514 --> 00:18:08,394
AND EVEN MORE SORRY HOW
I WORDED YOUR DEFENSE JUST NOW.
458
00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:12,418
THAT'S OKAY. ALL I EVER WANTED
WAS FOR YOU TO GO TO BAT FOR ME.
459
00:18:12,422 --> 00:18:14,662
NOW I'LL NEVER
WANT THAT AGAIN.
460
00:18:14,664 --> 00:18:17,334
(microphone feedback whines)
(amplified voice) I'D LIKE
TO GET THIS BACK ON TOPIC.
461
00:18:17,327 --> 00:18:20,467
IF WE DO FUND THE SCIENCE CLUB,
THE FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS
462
00:18:20,470 --> 00:18:22,670
SHOULD BE BUYING
A MORE POWERFUL MICROSCOPE
463
00:18:22,672 --> 00:18:25,612
SO DENNIS MAYDER
CAN FINALLY FIND HIS WIENER.
464
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:27,535
(jeers and laughter)
465
00:18:27,537 --> 00:18:29,407
WHOOP!
(banging table)
466
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:31,409
I THINK WE SHOULD SPEND
MORE MONEY ON CHEERLEADING,
467
00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:33,511
AND WILL WOULD MAKE
A GREAT ANCHOR FOR THE PYRAMID
468
00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:35,423
BECAUSE OF HIS LADY HIPS.
469
00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:36,585
(laughter)
470
00:18:36,586 --> 00:18:39,386
I'M SURPRISED DENNIS DOESN'T
SUPPORT THE SCIENCE CLUB
471
00:18:39,389 --> 00:18:43,349
SO HE CAN BUILD A TIME MACHINE,
GO BACK TO 1991,
472
00:18:43,353 --> 00:18:44,553
AND NOT GET CAUGHT
SMACKING TAFFY
473
00:18:44,554 --> 00:18:46,434
AT RICHIE TIZZARD'S SLEEPOVER.
474
00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:47,726
(laughter)
475
00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:49,627
DUDE, WE WERE ALL AWAKE.
476
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,429
SHUT UP, RICHIE!
477
00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:53,631
I'M SORRY, FOLKS, UH, DENNIS
IS A LITTLE FLUSTERED TONIGHT,
478
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:54,733
JUST LIKE WHEN HE FUMBLED
479
00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:57,374
THE GAME-WINNING TOUCHDOWN
AGAINST GRANDVIEW.
480
00:18:57,367 --> 00:18:58,707
(crowd) OOH.
481
00:18:58,708 --> 00:19:00,568
(woman) HO HO HO.
OH, SNAP.
482
00:19:00,570 --> 00:19:02,570
I DIDN'T FUMBLE THAT.
MY KNEE WAS DOWN.
483
00:19:02,572 --> 00:19:05,552
YEAH, YOUR KNEE WAS DOWN A LOT
THAT SEASON, AS I REMEMBER.
484
00:19:05,545 --> 00:19:07,545
(crowd) OHH!
485
00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:10,447
THAT'S IT. YOU'RE DEAD.
RICHIE, GET THIS BABY OFF ME.
486
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:11,480
COME ON. UNSNAP IT.
487
00:19:11,481 --> 00:19:13,381
THERE'S A PLASTIC "V"
RIGHT IN MY BACK.
488
00:19:13,383 --> 00:19:14,753
JUST UNHOOK IT RIGHT NOW.
COME ON. GET IT OFF ME.
489
00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:16,634
DUDE, THERE'S NO "V."
490
00:19:16,626 --> 00:19:17,726
YOU CAN DO IT, RICHIE.
491
00:19:17,727 --> 00:19:20,387
IT'S THE SAME WAY
YOU TAKE OFF HIS BRA.
492
00:19:20,390 --> 00:19:21,430
(laughter)
493
00:19:21,431 --> 00:19:22,731
WHOO!
494
00:19:22,732 --> 00:19:25,472
OKAY, THAT'S IT. I'M FIGHTING
HIM WITH THE BABY ON.
495
00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:26,595
LET'S GO!
496
00:19:26,596 --> 00:19:28,396
(man) WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
497
00:19:28,398 --> 00:19:29,468
TAKE IT EASY, BUDDY.
AAH.
498
00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:31,499
COME ON. LET'S GO.
499
00:19:31,501 --> 00:19:32,701
(amplified voice)
AND I'D LIKE TO ADD
500
00:19:32,702 --> 00:19:35,582
THAT DENNIS' KID
IS A BUTT-MUNCH,
501
00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:36,605
AND HE SHOULD BE BREADED
502
00:19:36,606 --> 00:19:38,776
AND FRIED AND EATEN
BY CANNIBALS!
503
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:40,748
(crowd gasps)
WHAT?!
504
00:19:40,750 --> 00:19:42,650
NOT THE BABY, THE OLDER ONE.
505
00:19:42,652 --> 00:19:44,452
(crowd) OHH.
506
00:19:44,454 --> 00:19:46,524
HA!
(applause)
507
00:19:46,516 --> 00:19:48,586
(laughs)
508
00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:50,418
HI, HONEY.
509
00:19:50,420 --> 00:19:51,490
HOW'D THE MEETING GO?
510
00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:53,561
GOOD. WE GOT THE FUNDING
FOR THE SCIENCE CLUB.
511
00:19:53,563 --> 00:19:55,503
AND YOU KNOW HOW WE TOLD YOU
512
00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:58,425
THAT WHEN DEALING WITH A BULLY,
THE HIGH ROAD IS THE GUY ROAD?
513
00:19:58,428 --> 00:20:00,498
WELL, THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE
YOU SHOULD KNOW.
514
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:03,500
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO
PUBLICLY HUMILIATE HIM
515
00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:06,483
AND LEAVE HIM CRYING IN
HIS ESCALADE IN THE PARKING LOT.
516
00:20:07,577 --> 00:20:08,807
WHO WANTS CHAMPAGNE?
517
00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:11,478
NATHAN.
YOU EVER TASTE CHAMPAGNE?
518
00:20:11,481 --> 00:20:14,711
YOUR DAD'S A LITTLE EXCITED.
YOU'RE NOT HAVING CHAMPAGNE.
519
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,654
YOU AND ME, KID!
520
00:20:19,949 --> 00:20:21,249
I CALLED YOU IN
521
00:20:21,251 --> 00:20:22,721
SO YOUR DAD AND I CAN TALK
TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING--
522
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:23,892
A GOOD THING.
523
00:20:23,893 --> 00:20:26,233
OH, HERE'S YOUR DAD NOW.
HEY, HONEY.
524
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,225
HI.
525
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,926
(kiss)
READY TO GO?
526
00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:31,928
HELLO. HOW ARE YOU?
527
00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:33,831
CRAIG,
I KNOW THIS IS A SURPRISE,
528
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:35,003
BUT I REALLY FEEL
529
00:20:35,004 --> 00:20:38,774
WE OWE IT TO BRANDON
TO TELL HIM WE'RE DATING.
530
00:20:38,768 --> 00:20:41,268
(gasps) BRANDON. YES.
531
00:20:42,912 --> 00:20:44,242
I DON'T KNOW WHO
THIS GUY IS.
532
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:47,723
BRANDON...
(exhales deeply) I...
533
00:20:47,717 --> 00:20:49,717
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, SON.
534
00:20:49,719 --> 00:20:52,719
I, TOO, SOMETIMES FEEL LIKE
YOU AND I ARE STRANGERS,
535
00:20:52,722 --> 00:20:57,262
ONE OF WHOM IS TRYING
TO MAKE A NEW CONNECTION.
536
00:20:58,928 --> 00:20:59,988
HELP ME OUT, MAN.
537
00:20:59,989 --> 00:21:03,259
SERIOUSLY,
THIS GUY'S NOT MY DAD.
538
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:06,942
OKAY. I THINK I CAN
CLEAR UP THE CONFUSION.
539
00:21:06,936 --> 00:21:08,896
I'VE BEEN LYING,
540
00:21:08,898 --> 00:21:12,738
SO I'M GOING TO
GIVE YOU MY WATCH,
541
00:21:12,742 --> 00:21:14,802
I'M GONNA TOUCH
THIS IGUANA,
542
00:21:14,804 --> 00:21:17,884
AND I'M GONNA
BE ON MY WAY.
543
00:21:19,008 --> 00:21:21,008
OOH! I WAS RIGHT--
544
00:21:21,010 --> 00:21:23,950
SLIPPERY, BUT NOT SLIMY.
40415
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